Matador de Froot Loops
Yeah, you pretty much summed it up, later that night i got a phonecall from her (3am) where she was making fun of me (don't ask me why), i hung up and shut my phone down, today i woke up to find 7 missed phonecalls from her (!), i blocked her right away.Originally Posted by ickyvicky
Even though i did the right thing, i don't feel great...
Active Member
This girl is acting like a child. Block her number.
Matador de Froot Loops
Yes, i just did it, thanks a lot for your advice, i still don't feel great sadly...
Active Member
Found out yesterday that my ex of 15 years, who left me for a girl, is now dating a guy (who looks just like me and also plays drums) with her new girlfriend and are having threesomes all the time. And then she acted like I was being irrational for being upset about hearing this and said "what? I thought you'd be happy for me?". Yeah I'm soooooo stoked on hearing about your new wild threesomes with someone who looks like me and the girl you left me after 15 years for. SO fucking stoked.
Active Member
Not cool at all
Active Member
Right??
She's refusing to have an actual discussion with me about it now and just keeps trying to gaslight me by saying I'm just trying to blame her for where my own life is at right now.
tempus est umbra in mente
There's sorts of this kinda weirdness... even weirder when the dude looks like you and has the same first name.
Active Member
I'd just walk away from her, quietly. No more contact.
Active Member
It's really fucking hard to do that after spending fifteen years with her but I think I have to do it. Tired of being gaslit that I was the only problem in the relationship and that I don't have a right to be upset at her new little Poly relationship or whatever the fuck.
Active Member
I understand it's hard, but it's the best thing for you to do right now. If she really "needs" you - she'll know how to reach out to you.
tempus est umbra in mente
yeah, I rarely give advice to random people about things this serious, but GTFO... seriously, no matter how hard it is, pull the bandaid off and run.
xScott
Damn that sucks. My ex kept hooking up with (sometimes when we were separated, sometimes not) a dude that was an "idealized" version of me. Real similar but short hair, a few years older, a singer in a band (that "rock star bf she always wanted"), into Quentin Tarantino films and thinks Rammstein sucks.
Fuck that shit and fuck her for making me feel like shit for wanting to be myself.. I am the best and only version of me there is. Especially over the last couple years I realized this and have molded myself into the person I always have been/wanted to be.
Thankfully I haven't seen her in almost a decade, and have in the last year finally felt comfortable with myself enough to move on and start a new relationship with someone who it awesome and I'm am so glad I found.
I'm gonna sound like a broken record here but that's my advice, break off everything otherwise it's just gonna hurt more and more.
Last edited by SM Rollinger; 08-04-2022 at 07:51 PM.
Matador de Froot Loops
So, now i met this girl.
She's beautiful, charismatic, funny and different (she's a dancer).
So we got along great on the first date, then the second date was even better (kissing, hugging and third base stuff), i told he i would like something serious (at first she told me she was interested in that too), then everything went down, i texted her one night and she was cold, she told me she got a job offer in another country and she's thinking about it.
Obviously this hurt me because it came out of nowhere, still i told her i respect her wishes and i don't want her to stay for me (and it's the truth).
Still i wanted to say goodbye and talk to her again (in a friendly way), no pressure, but now she's avoiding me and not even responding my messages.
So yes, that's it, there's no real problem everything is pretty clear, there's not much to do, of course i would love to go to her house and say goodbye or get some kind of "closure", but i don't think it will happen.
This was so fast, i really liked her, so fucked up how modern relationships work...
Active Member
I wouldn't take it as her avoiding you - she's just been offered something that is going to change her life completely and she's most likely trying to get her head wrapped around it.
And/or maybe she's not texting you back because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and make the situation even more awkward/harder because it's brand new.
Don't take offense to it, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just a life changing situation.
She'll text you when she's ready.
Matador de Froot Loops
I hope so, i'm in peace with not having a relationship with her, but i wanted to say goodbye at least.
I'm not even sure if she's leaving for real, maybe she will turn down the offer, but i'm not sure if she'll text me back anyway... i just want her to be happy, that's the truth, but the timing was so crap
Active Member
I had something similar recently. I'd been going out with a woman once in awhile (she asked me out first). Then she up & moved to Vegas suddenly. I really wasn't counting on anything long lasting as it turned out I was the same age as her mom. Still....anyway when she left I got a message I was being blocked. I couldn't figure out what I'd done to get the ghosting treatment. She got in touch a month later & said she lost her phone. We're still in contact but alas a lot of miles now.
Matador de Froot Loops
Thanks for sharing that and your advice, i know i shouldn't obsess with her, but i felt a connection and i would love to talk with her one last time...
i guess you can say i'm like the NIN-song: "Letting go while holding on", life's weird sometimes...
Bite me
It’s also fairly difficult being a woman in today’s climate, where things can go from “pleasant” to “stalker” in a heartbeat.
Sometimes you dudes have to put yourselves in women’s shoes and see it from their perspective? Sure, YOU know you’re a nice guy that would never do anything, but maybe they have been through some things or have seen some things. Giving women room without the need to have closure is probably the nicest thing you can do in this very scary world in which we live.
“Let it go” is a kind mantra?
It's also interesting to note that it's typically, as far as gender roles go, the guys who never call or text back.
Last edited by allegro; 09-01-2022 at 12:42 PM.
Trollhunter
I had been seeing someone since July 20th and we became official over the last couple days here.
I’m real fucking happy. She’s great. Smart, cute, and funny. She doesn’t let me get away with my self deprecation either.
Bonus: Her cat Olivia loves me too which she said is surprising in a good way because Olivia is usually shy but I’m already getting purrs, leg rubs, head pushes and kisses.
Our feelings for each other are progressing faster than either of us excepted. I’m just letting it happen. I want to enjoy our time together.
Captain Rustleboots
You deserve this man, this is so tight. Love is tight.
Matador de Froot Loops
I agree and i'm aware of the issues that women face, that's why stopped, i want to see her, but i'm not a stalker...
I want something consensual, but obviously it hurts, that's why i complaint and vent here, it's my "escape" if you want to call it that way.
I "ghosted" girls before, i'm not proud of that but i've done it... (without malice, i just thought it was the best solution), but as you can see men can be ghosted too, now that i know how it feels, i won't do it again, or at least will give an explanation as a text or something.
Trollhunter
Got engaged last night.
Holy. Shit.
Never thought I’d be here again. She’s the best and I love her.
It’s going to be a minute for me to fully process all this.
Active Member
Matador de Froot Loops
Awesome news! Congrats!
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