Random Stupidity, Post-Apocalpyse Edition

[Fixer808]

So, Ted Turner commissioned a video to be played on CNN in the event that the world ended. And it's the worst piece of 80's sign-off around.
"The bombs are falling, Ted, and Rob from accounting said he saw God punching out Bill O'Reilly in the street!"
"RUN THE TAPE."

[Bachy]

[Exocet]

Let me Break this bottle in your face.

[Bachy]

[Halo Infinity]

[Halo Infinity]

[Sarah K]

[Fixer808]

How long until someone photoshops Obama's face on that guy? #FreeCollegeJokes

[NotoriousTIMP]

Watch Two Guys Play an Epic Slayer Medley on Children's Instruments

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YD-1fBWHioA

[tony.parente]

[icecream]

This is depressing

[sick among the pure]

Saving to reply to Bill with. Every. Single. Time.

[onthewall2983]

Do not mix soy milk with mac and cheese. I didn't really even wretch but I think if I had it again I would.

[The_Prowler]

Do not mix soy milk with mac and cheese. I didn't really even wretch but I think if I had it again I would.

There are some things where you just can't substitute real milk.

[tony.parente]

[kel]

i really REALLY miss mcdonald's chicken fajitas.

[Fixer808]

All the evil and hate in the world... Until now I never fully comprehended it. I just discovered that hate is sometimes inside you, and has a taste, and that taste is Pringles Tortillas Ranch flavour.

"... when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."

[kel]

the other day in twin falls i was walking down a wheelchair ramp and i suddenly felt drunk, like i had vertigo or something.

turns out it was an earthquake. a small one at 4.9 and centered north near challis, but still.

i guess there's been a few a week since last year. i wonder if that supposed volcano thing under yellowstone is close to freaking out.

[Ryan]

My fiancée sat on my lap while I did a crap a few weeks ago and we took pics.

Good times.

[binaryhermit]

i wonder if that supposed volcano thing under yellowstone is close to freaking out.

If it does, humanity is pretty much fucked.

[onthewall2983]

[tony.parente]

[The_Prowler]

Wall-E is the most terrifying and fucked up movie I've ever seen. No joke.

If you really pay attention to and think about what you're seeing, it's the stuff of nightmares.

[Khrz]

^Those Earthling-again settlers are thoroughly fucked. Their robot armada is this close to sentience and full self-reliance, and without their help they are useless. They lived for generations in a leisure paradise, and suddenly are supposed to terraform Earth back into shape. Also, I'm pretty sure that at this point, they believe plants come from boots. It's like the population of Idiocracy was thrown into the world of Mad Max.

[tony.parente]

[Charmingly Miserable]

Wall-E is the most terrifying and fucked up movie I've ever seen. No joke.

If you really pay attention to and think about what you're seeing, it's the stuff of nightmares.

No way. I loved the first half. Once he gets to outer space, then it's kinda dumb with the humans and the dialogue.

[Sarah K]

Scumbag Baby Boomers. http://www.quickmeme.com/Scumbag-Baby-Boomers/page/1/ http://elitedaily.com/humor/the-scum...r-meme/693826/

[The_Prowler]

No way. I loved the first half. Once he gets to outer space, then it's kinda dumb with the humans and the dialogue.

Allow me to expound on it a little...

Humans have destroyed the earth, so they all left. That doesn't seem like too much of a stretch from real life. They left a crew of robots behind to repair the damage, but they were obviously not built well enough to handle it since WALL-E seems to be the only one left. The only other living thing you see is a single cockroach.
EVE comes and finds a weed, kicking her protocols into effect so she can be transported to the nearest Ark. However, once humans realized that the earth was a hopeless case, protocols were overwritten to undermine EVE's programming regarding finding life, and the ship actively tries to cover up her discovery.

We see humans on the Ark. They are bred for stupidity and ease of control and have no real minds of their own. Everything is catered to them, and they are so dependent on machines that they're probably incapable of changing their own leotards by themselves. We see one fall out of their chair, and it becomes a Def Con 1 scenario.
The people we see are, as far as I can tell, infants and adults between the ages of late teens to early 40s or so... where are the seniors? Not only that, but these people have no actual direct contact with each other and can't move outside of their chairs, so where are the babies coming from? They're like chickens and turkeys on farms; the've been bred so large that reproduction is no longer something they can accomplish on their own without being inseminated from outside help. And if the ship's computer wants to keep the humans away from earth forever, what's the point in breeding them at all?

The captain is captain in name only. He does nothing that actually controls the ship or its functions. He's like the Vanna White of the ship; if a button is blinking, he pushes it. He doesn't know what it does or why he's pushing it, just that he's supposed to. The ship's computer runs everything.

When the captain learns about the plant, he immediately starts researching plants (since humans no longer know anything about earth at all) and rightfully wants to go home. The computer was reprogrammed not to allow this to happen, so it goes all HAL-9000 and tries to murder the captain and keep the ship away from earth. The captain then destroys it and pilots the ship back home, nearly crashing it and killing everyone in onboard because he doesn't know how to actually fly it.

So the Ark crashes on earth. Even if the captain hadn't beaten the computer into oblivion, the impact certainly would have destroyed it - this is the computer that provides them with everything they need to live. There's every reason to believe that all the necessary functions are now no longer working. The humans that were on board are now stranded on a dead planet that's covered in nothing but trash and noxious fumes with no means of survival, and these poor people don't know shit about shit. On top of their lack of basic knowledge, they're less than agile with all that extra bulk they're sporting. They now have to figure out how to survive with no resources or die within a matter of days.

The Ark that landed was just one of thousands that launched all over the galaxy... where are the other ships? The computer didn't contact them to tell them about the weed that was found because of its rewritten protocols. Billions of people are still out there with no way of knowing anything that happened.

During the ending credits, there's the montage of pictures that shows society rebuilding itself. We see green grass and forests, clear blue lakes, houses and all kinds of wonderful things. We also see the same people that were on the ship in these scenes, meaning that everything you see has happened within a matter of years... that's not how nature works. How the fuck are they rebuilding the planet so fast with no useable technology or resources? There's no botanists, scientists, work crews, carpenters, plumbers, there's literally no one who knows anything useful about anything they need.

I say again, WALL-E is one of the most terrifying and fucked up movies I've ever seen.

[WorzelG]

The idea of Jimmy Page writing concerned letters to the council about Robbie Wiliams mansion renovation plans made me laugh for some reason. Will we see them on one of those neighbours from hell programmes?

http://www.music-news.com/ShowNews.asp?nItemID=86313

[Krazy]

What a bunch of assholes. This dealership is getting torched in their Yelp reviews and deservedly so...

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2015...ople-outraged/

http://www.yelp.com/biz/f-and-r-auto-sales-westport