The Alternative Sexuality thread

[Sarah K]

Sorry. That sounded kind of twatty.

Well, I think that the first, and most obvious issue of comparing it with pedophilia is that these types of relationships are between two adults, who are of age, who are *consenting* to this dynamic. Nobody is being taken advantage of.

Not all DD exchanges center around age play, either. I absolutely have a bit of a Daddy thing, but I won't participate in any sort of age play dynamic.

Obviously, relationships can mean vastly different things to different people. When I personally think of a Daddy figure, it is someone who is a bit older, stable, and secure. They have an ability to guide, mentor, teach, and punish. Their goals are to help me grow and become a better person. "Nurturing" is a word that comes up a lot.

I don't think it's fair to state that all subs want this dynamic. I don't think it's fair to say even most desire it. Blanket statements about any group of people are usually wrong. Some folks want just a sadist, some want a Master, some want a Dom, some want a Daddy. There is also a pretty big overlap between the groups.

[Fractal04]

No offense taken. You are right: I overstated. I certainly know not all subs go for that. My current relationship has no overtones of it. It was prompted by someone contacting me recently who wanted to play, and the Daddy vibe started immediately. So it's on my mind, as I always get disturbed by it. Right, not all subs. I really, really, like your nurturing, guide, explanation. That resonates with me. I've done a fair amount of that. Definitely know what you're saying there. Absolutely right, the ways people play are multi-varied. I definitely overstated.

[tony.parente]

"Fuck me daddy"

Um ok....daughter?


i understand it's not about incest but goddamn you're calling them your father.

[onthewall2983]

For what it's worth, I think it's only weird if you still call your father "daddy" or your mother "mommy". It's something most people grow out of, and so to return to it with a dominant sexual partner makes a kind of sense to me.

[Sarah K]

SEE ABOVE

But Tony, bro... I would wager some money that you're probably as vanilla as vanilla comes.

[tony.parente]

SEE ABOVE

But Tony, bro... I would wager some money that you're probably as vanilla as vanilla comes.

haha it's just a weird thing to me. If a girl called me daddy while we were at it I would immediately be grossed out and lose my bone.

[Sarah K]

It's like literally one of the least "weird" things that occurs in kinky land.

[onthewall2983]

That's understandable, everybody has things which twig them out from the moment. It's interesting how words play a particularly important role in kink of most shades.

[onthewall2983]

It's like literally one of the least "weird" things that occurs in kinky land.

Yes indeed. It gets pretty nasty with some, but as long as they have people who can explore those things with who are equally as interested, who am I to judge?

[Sarah K]

That's understandable, everybody has things which twig them out from the moment. It's interesting how words play a particularly important role in kink of most shades.

YASSSS

Like, I have an INCREDIBLY difficult time with "sir" and "master" to the point of them making me feel physically uncomfortable. "Daddy" comes out about a million times easier. I can get "sir" slapped out of me. But "master" has yet to fall from my mouth.

[onthewall2983]

I can get "sir" slapped out of me.

I bet it could

[icklekitty]

Haha, so I take it my relationship of 3 years with someone 30 years older than me who I call Daddy/Father/Papa and who "raised" me and sneaks into the bedroom (covered in pink and teddy bears) I have at his house to put his hand up my Hello Kitty nightie would gross some of you out?

[jessamineny]

Okay, I swear to whatever deity you believe in that there was a BDSM thread. Can't find it. So anyway: recommendations for online shopping?

It's here.

Recommendations are highly dependent on the item(s) you want to buy. Even if it's floggers, depending on the type you want, I'll send you to different places.

[Fractal04]

I can see why some would go for that, for sure. I think my original issue was why (it seems to me) that seems to be such a predominant vibe for subs. Like, a majority. I was just curious about why that seems to me to be so overwhelmingly popular. That's what I was wondering about.

[Sarah K]

I think that's a huge generalization that isn't true.

Plus, people have wants and needs that fluctuate. Like, one time I might need a daddy, and the next month, just give me a sadist without all of the "extra" stuff. I would need a partner who is adaptable, and isn't stuck in one specific role all of the time. People put too much stock in whatever label they have assigned themselves. Just do what feels right.

[onthewall2983]

"Gimp Man of Essex" aiming to spark debate while fundraising.

[Sarah K]

OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE THEFERRETT

Every time I see one of his masturbatory writings hit K & P, I want to cry.

Everyone else seems to fucking LOVE this dude, and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT. He rambles on and on and on without ever actually saying anything. All the while with his smug, shitty attitude. I see his shit on K & P and for some reason, can't stop myself from rage reading portions of it.

GODDAMN IT

[onthewall2983]

Sounds like my LiveJournal postings, except no one gave a shit. Rightly so, I'm sure if I look back on that stuff I'd want to tear my eyeballs out. I've kind of given up on that type of pontificating on sites like FetLife. I'm much more comfortable talking at length about music and other stuff, instead of my opinions. Everyone has them and I'll only share mine if I'm passionate enough about it. Also why I'm kind of holding back on personal stuff as compared to when I was younger and would just write about anything and everything. I thought it helped but it really didn't.

[Sarah K]

I want to light all of his stupid fedoras on fire.

I will say that he always has great nail polish, though. If he does them himself, it's very impressive.

[jessamineny]

He's been around *forever*... from back in the LiveJournal days of the early aughts.

[The_Prowler]

I've got two pair of police grade handcuffs, a very nice blindfold, some rope and a bed that's practically made for bondage, and no one to use them with.

I'm a sad monkey

[ophelia_]

OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE THEFERRETT

Every time I see one of his masturbatory writings hit K & P, I want to cry.

Everyone else seems to fucking LOVE this dude, and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT. He rambles on and on and on without ever actually saying anything. All the while with his smug, shitty attitude. I see his shit on K & P and for some reason, can't stop myself from rage reading portions of it.

GODDAMN IT

The Ferrett is a bit of a douche, but as long as he continues fighting with "Master" James, I will continue to like him... I've known James in real life for quite a few years now and he pretty much a joke within the Sydney scene (he reckons he runs Australias first and only "house", lol) and it's hilarious seeing him act so high and mighty on Fetlife. It's great though, because it gives us something to bitch about at munches. Smh.

[Sarah K]

The Ferrett is a bit of a douche, but as long as he continues fighting with "Master" James, I will continue to like him... I've known James in real life for quite a few years now and he pretty much a joke within the Sydney scene (he reckons he runs Australias first and only "house", lol) and it's hilarious seeing him act so high and mighty on Fetlife. It's great though, because it gives us something to bitch about at munches. Smh.

Yeah. FUCK that guy. I forget what he posted one time... Some awful, woman hating shit. I responded politely, but disagreed, and he instantly blocked me. But I saw the "I've never deepthroated, but this is how you do it, hold your barf in, etc" rage not too long ago. Which made me lol.

[somethingelse]

I had my first pup session not long ago and I must say I quite enjoyed the head space that came with it. It is very hard (pun intended) to NOT say anything and stay in pup mode, but it also made it that much more exciting.

[ophelia_]

Yeah. FUCK that guy. I forget what he posted one time... Some awful, woman hating shit. I responded politely, but disagreed, and he instantly blocked me. But I saw the "I've never deepthroated, but this is how you do it, hold your barf in, etc" rage not too long ago. Which made me lol.

Lol yeah! And I've seen his gf "deepthroat" him on my rooftop at a party one time, his version of deepthroating and actual deepthroating are very different. Gawd, he's the most abusive piece of shit ever.

[The_Prowler]

I have no idea who the hell you guys are talking about, and I'm getting the distinct impression that I should be very, very thankful for that.

[Sarah K]

Douchy fetlifers who write a lot of entries. They're on like total opposite ends of the douche spectrum, though.

Ferrett is just annoying, self congratulatory, and kinda condescending(in my opinion, anyway - most other people enjoy him). James is just a straight up misogynist.

[Sarah K]

So, I think I'm going to attend a party on Friday. Ugh. I attempted to go to my first one a few months back, and shit fell through. I've been waiting for a smaller one to pop up that people within my circle will be attending, and I found one. I messaged to the host to make sure it is cool that I just attend as a learner/observer/socializing person, and not an active participant, and she says that is totally fine.

BUT, I feel a little weird about it because it is kinda described as "bring weed and alcohol". I have no issues with weed or alcohol. But I don't necessarily think that they should be present, or at least not encouraged at a play party. Like, the price is cheaper if you bring weed and/or alcohol. Just seems like a recipe for people to make shitty choices.

Am I uptight?

[onthewall2983]

May I ask if this is being held in a private residence? I've been to a few play parties at the local swinger's club and I didn't see anything stronger than Pepsi.

[Sarah K]

Yes... It is in a home.