Spreading my mental illness around to upgrade your mediocre, peon lives

[elevenism]

I tried tarot cards and read black magic books in the past, but they just brought bad luck so I stopped dabbling in the dark arts. I joined a wicca meetup group 10 years ago, but I never really connected with any of the members. It was a really small club and very cliquey. They were people who had known each other for years and I just felt like an outsider (just like in the United Church I went to last year). Nowadays I just read New Age books and do spreads with those vanilla-type, watered down Oracle cards.

I would also like to learn more about the metaphysical realm because Ayn Rand mentions it quite often in her novels. I don't know much about philosophy because I never took it in college. I studied business, art and health sciences.

Ayn Rand is NOT the place to look for metaphysical knowledge, dear. She just used the word "metaphysical" to mean " pertaining to physical existence. "
I read everything she ever wrote when I was a teenager. She doesn't believe in anything but the physical. If you really want to get into her philosophy, read "The Virtue of Selfishness." She's kind of an atheistic satanist.

Metaphysics is a branch of philosophy that deals with the nature of reality, time, space, consciousness, etc.

Also, Tarot cards have nothing to do with magic. Tarot is about synchronicity and your own intuition. I went through a phase where I thought they were "bad luck" too, but then I read some Carl Jung.

What are Oracle cards?