The Transgender Thread

[Volband]

^HOLY SHIT.

Are you being serious?

Haha, same thing as back then in the feminist topic. Outrage, shock, etc., but nothing noteworthy. If you can't put together two comprehensive sentences as a native English speaker, then don't bother posting. Be happy you have the economy that you have, and the luxury to pay for being able to facepalm posts, and move on. I am serious, yes, but come on, challenge me. Give me, an Eastern-European guy a good argument as to why my points are ridiculous or a laughing matter. I am sincerely curious.

1. Tell me how we are NOT uneducated on not just the topic of homo- and trans-, but heterosexuality as well. I am listening. I've sat through all the sex ed class, and to be honest, porn and more experienced people taught me more than all the hours of sex ed. combined. But let me hear it.

2. There are people like you, who try to act superior, whenever gayness (yes, I could use the term homosexuality, but those who WANT to be offended, always get stuck at the word "gay", so it's like a system which separates those who just want to bitch and those with actual thoughts), feminism, or now, transsexuality is brought up. People like you, make no effort trying to bring awareness, you are just happy to have an attack ground. "HOLY SHIT. ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS?" - like really, that's all you can say in 2015 as an U.S. citizen?! Believe it or not, people are fucking slaving away here for joke money, and no, your average Eastern-European countrimen's problems are bigger than the acceptance of transexuality, and you can be shocked, but that is the turth. People are starving, the state's progapaganda is failing, and we have 0 future plan. Zero. If you want to be someone, you have to go abroad. But as I said, I'm listening t your arguments, which I hope are more advanced than what you've just vomited here.

3. Yes, Caitlyn Jenner is whored out. I am not a transsexual, and I do not know whether she's transition is making the whole transgender case a favor, or setting it back. As I said, from one perspective, it's disgusting how someone who can afford to be a good looking female is put on a pedestal, while those who suffer just the same are neglected, just because they can not afford all those surgeries. On the other hand, she can be an icon, a hero for many transsexuals, a pioneer if you like. I do not want to take sides in this argument, I think it is very culture-dependant. Here, in Eastern-Europe, no one gives a flying fuck, trust me. But maybe in more advanced countries, like in the U.S. it IS a huge thing. I don't know. Maybe when you will be capable of writing more thang 6 words I'll be more educated on this matter.

I love how ETS has some of the worst people from/r/askwomen, who jump on the slightest remark which they deem hurtful. Transsexuality is a very complicated topic, and if we were smart people, we could have endless dicsussions on some of the more focal points of it, but people like you just highlight some words, or sentences and try to frame the likes of me as some kind of barbarians. I have no problem with transsexuals, but it's literally impossible to start a discussion when the likes of you are around. I wish we'd have the same luxury here, that even the stupidest (or laziest, you tell me) people can pay for facepalm rights, so whenever someone says something I don't like I could just facepalm it without coming up with actual arguments, which would require to flex my brain muscles.

Then again, I probably should not leash out as hard as I just did just because you live in a whole different world than I do, but it really annoys me, when people are so fucking lazy they refuse to put together at least three comprehensive sentences. Who knows, maybe if the tables were turned I would do the same, if my biggest problem in life was dealing with transsexuality when I'm not even one of them.

( Though, honestly, this response is more to the people who are just reading this topic. I remember your responses from the feminist topic, so I don't expect anything more from you than fancy words filled with utter shallowness. You are, of course, free to prove me wrong. )

Edit: and I'd advise everyone to follow this argument, because I'm totally fine with gay people, and I'm all for supporting transsexuals, yet I am still crucified for some reason. Just shows you how fucked our modern thinking is, when two people who essentially on the same side have to be at each other's throat because we don'T say EXAXTLY wahat we want to hear.

I dunno, he's from Hungary so his responses are sometimes lost in translation, I think. Or some kind of cultural backward thing.

Good to know you are still not tired of using your brain! Much appreciated, but if someone want to get shocked, they will get shocked. Much easier than actually discussing stuff.

[Sarah K]

I thought you were trolling with the language you chose to use in your first post. Now I understand that part of that was just a language barrier. It was difficult to tell if you were trolling, or if you honestly felt such things. If it was trolling, it wasn't really worth typing out a response.

1 - homosexuality and heterosexuality have nothing to do with being trans*. Gender identity and sexuality are different topics entirely.


2 - again, homosexuality has nothing to do with being trans*. Unsure about why you're bringing up feminism? What did you mean by that?


3 - if nobody cares(which they shouldn't), then why, in your previous post, were you predicting a shitstorm in the next few years? By your own admission, people don't care. So everyone should just leave everyone be, and let them live their lives as they see fit, correct?


You're correct in that it's a complicated topic. I was just having this discussion with my friend the other day who asked me if I thought that trans* topics and education have become more accessible lately. I answered "yes" without hesitation. I am extremely open minded, and try to keep myself educated about many matters - especially human rights issues like this, that impact people in my life. However, I can remember a time about 7 years ago when I was asking inappropriate questions. A co-worker told me about a student who in the previous year, identified as male, but was now identifying as a female. So, I asked "Did they have surgery" or something entirely inappropriate like that. Now I understand that that is such an awful thing to ask. What matters is how a person feels, and how they want to live their life. Not if they've completed jumping through the medical hoops. So I know that it is a complicated topic with many things to learn. Now that I feel like I'm much better educated on the topic, I think back to that inappropriate question I asked 7 years ago, and I acknowledge that it was very rude and inappropriate. We all have room to educate ourselves.

ETS is actually a REALLY good resource for learning about this topic. There are many people here who are far more knowledgeable than me.

[Volband]

I thought you were trolling with the language you chose to use in your first post. Now I understand that part of that was just a language barrier. It was difficult to tell if you were trolling, or if you honestly felt such things. If it was trolling, it wasn't really worth typing out a response.

1 - homosexuality and heterosexuality have nothing to do with being trans*. Gender identity and sexuality are different topics entirely.


2 - again, homosexuality has nothing to do with being trans*. Unsure about why you're bringing up feminism? What did you mean by that?


3 - if nobody cares(which they shouldn't), then why, in your previous post, were you predicting a shitstorm in the next few years? By your own admission, people don't care. So everyone should just leave everyone be, and let them live their lives as they see fit, correct?


You're correct in that it's a complicated topic. I was just having this discussion with my friend the other day who asked me if I thought that trans* topics and education have become more accessible lately. I answered "yes" without hesitation. I am extremely open minded, and try to keep myself educated about many matters - especially human rights issues like this, that impact people in my life. However, I can remember a time about 7 years ago when I was asking inappropriate questions. A co-worker told me about a student who in the previous year, identified as male, but was now identifying as a female. So, I asked "Did they have surgery" or something entirely inappropriate like that. Now I understand that that is such an awful thing to ask. What matters is how a person feels, and how they want to live their life. Not if they've completed jumping through the medical hoops. So I know that it is a complicated topic with many things to learn. Now that I feel like I'm much better educated on the topic, I think back to that inappropriate question I asked 7 years ago, and I acknowledge that it was very rude and inappropriate. We all have room to educate ourselves.

ETS is actually a REALLY good resource for learning about this topic. There are many people here who are far more knowledgeable than me.

1. I am talking about awareness. If you want to discuss X-sexuality, you need people who are knowledged about the topic. That's why I mentioned how education is utter shit, at leats in here, when it comes to anything sexual.

2. Radical feminist jump on everyone who do not say what they want to hear. Like let's say I'd say "a woman with long hari is attractive" and I'd be facepalmed to oblivion, because how dare I say something like that, I should dig a woman with moustache as well, or some stupid shit like that. But you get the idea: some people act like not knowing about transsexuality is something shameful. But here I am asking, why should I know about it? The only reason I am well aware of this topic is pure coincidence, and I know many people who hear about "chicks with dicks" for the first time. The initial reaction should not be judgemental, but bringing awareness of the topic.

3. I predict it, because when it comes to everyday life (aka. not about someone posing on vanity fair), it WILL have a result on everyday life.
a.) where do transsexuals go to toilet? Let's say you vouch for a MtF transsexual to be eligible to use the female toilet. All right. But what if many women are totally not fine that someone with a dick is using the girl's toilet? Are they barbarains? Are they concerns valid? Extremely hard topic.
b.) Where do they play sports? A MtF athelete is a male or a female athelete? If she wins every tournament among female-born competitors is it cheating? If she's disqualified, is it disgusting? Once again, a very hard question.
c.) What about people who can not afford surgery? A poor transsexual could live their life labeled as gay, because they could barely afford simple hormone treatment, let alone surgeries. Should the government help them out? Should they be let to live a miserable life just because their condition paired with poor economical ground? But if they get money, why is that family over there let to be starving? Once again, a hard topic.

Since the first year of high-school, I consider myself pretty open-mnded and liberate about world topics. I can be hated for not liking gay parades when people feel the need to suck dicks on the street to show they are normal, but I have nothing against gay people - while I constantly read comments like they should be gunned down and etc. What I do not like, is seeing people wtih egg-shells on their butt, asking benign questions like "should I call her a "she?"", and some of the respones are like it's supposed to be part of the basic education. No, it is not. If it is not for coincidence and my own determination to dig deep on this matter, I would have 0 idea what being a trnssexual mean or like. Even feminism os thrown under the rock, we hardly learned about women earning less than males. There are so many topics we are just not taught, it's INSANE, and most of the people are simply adapting their parent's views without thinking for themselves. And this is how we reach the stae where we live now, where we might sign the same song, yet we can still get to eachother's throat. I do not like how everything is so fucking bi-polar and no one gives a damn to help out one another. Watching arguments about politics and sexuality is like a war of uprginging. The majority of the people are just repeating the same words they were taught by their parents.

edit: I'd re-read my post but I'm shit-drunk so sorry.

[theruiner]

a.) where do transsexuals go to toilet? Let's say you vouch for a MtF transsexual to be eligible to use the female toilet. All right. But what if many women are totally not fine that someone with a dick is using the girl's toilet? Are they barbarains? Are they concerns valid? Extremely hard topic.

It's not, actually. It's not a hard topic at all. Trans people should be able to use the bathroom they identify as. Period. Because anything less would be invalidating to trans identities, which is not only shitty but just blatantly incorrect. Anything else would be saying, "Well, you're KIND of a woman, but not really." No, I'm a woman. Period. Not kind of, I am.* And women use the women's bathroom right? Yup. Problem solved.

Also, whether or not someone has a penis is none of anyone's business but that person and whoever they choose to share that with. And it doesn't matter a lick in the bathroom, unless you're peeking into their stall. In which case you're kind of the problem.

*=still figuring all this out, but I'm saying that to make the point. Though I probably will end up identifying that way. Ok, carry on.

[Sarah K]

1 - I still feel like you're really confused about the difference between sexuality and gender identity. They are different topics and discussions.

2 - I don't read anything from "radical feminists" or "radical" anything, really. So I wouldn't know if any of that is true. But none of it sounds based in reality, really.

You're free to say you find long hair attractive. That is a valid opinion to have. But that's different from saying something like "women are attractive ONLY when they have long hair". We all have preferences for the physical attributes of our partners.

When you say things like "chicks with dicks", it makes me, and probably others, think that you're trolling. I'm trying to address this as if you're not, and that you're genuinely curious and want to educate yourself. Wanting new information and education is great. Derogatory comments aren't.

What questions do you have? What type of awareness are you looking for? There are many people here with great resources. If there are specific questions that you want to know, ask them! There are lots of really well informed folks around here.

3 - a - wherever they want to go to the bathroom. In the US, it is becoming more and more common that bathrooms are gender neutral. I think this will continue to progress as time goes on.
. I don't find this a hard topic at all. People go to the bathroom to pee and wash their hands. The end.
b - They play sports on the team that they identify with. Again, a very simple question.
c - It's shitty, and something that needs addressed. I'm a firm believer in universal healthcare, and I'm hopeful that it will happen within my life time(in the States). That will remedy this problem. And again, being gay and being trans* are two completely different things. Heh. I personally believe that these cases should be helped. More and more, we are seeing these surgeries be covered by insurance. It's really wonderful.

More and more, I try to force myself to use gender neutral language until I know what someone prefers.

And I am definitely not repeating what my parents taught me. Haha. I had a long discussion with my step mom about this when I was back home this weekend, as she kept referring to Caitlyn as "he". I had to keep correcting her.

[slave2thewage]

Just popping in with some good news from my country.

[Volband]

1 - I still feel like you're really confused about the difference between sexuality and gender identity. They are different topics and discussions.

2 - I don't read anything from "radical feminists" or "radical" anything, really. So I wouldn't know if any of that is true. But none of it sounds based in reality, really.

You're free to say you find long hair attractive. That is a valid opinion to have. But that's different from saying something like "women are attractive ONLY when they have long hair". We all have preferences for the physical attributes of our partners.

When you say things like "chicks with dicks", it makes me, and probably others, think that you're trolling. I'm trying to address this as if you're not, and that you're genuinely curious and want to educate yourself. Wanting new information and education is great. Derogatory comments aren't.

What questions do you have? What type of awareness are you looking for? There are many people here with great resources. If there are specific questions that you want to know, ask them! There are lots of really well informed folks around here.

3 - a - wherever they want to go to the bathroom. In the US, it is becoming more and more common that bathrooms are gender neutral. I think this will continue to progress as time goes on.
. I don't find this a hard topic at all. People go to the bathroom to pee and wash their hands. The end.
b - They play sports on the team that they identify with. Again, a very simple question.
c - It's shitty, and something that needs addressed. I'm a firm believer in universal healthcare, and I'm hopeful that it will happen within my life time(in the States). That will remedy this problem. And again, being gay and being trans* are two completely different things. Heh. I personally believe that these cases should be helped. More and more, we are seeing these surgeries be covered by insurance. It's really wonderful.

More and more, I try to force myself to use gender neutral language until I know what someone prefers.

And I am definitely not repeating what my parents taught me. Haha. I had a long discussion with my step mom about this when I was back home this weekend, as she kept referring to Caitlyn as "he". I had to keep correcting her.

1. Both needs awareness. Ask a 16 years old about transsexuality. He/she will stare at you like if you were aksing them about rocket-science.

2. I'M saying chicks with dicks, because those who are not aware of transsexuals, will look at them like that. I had some futile attempt with friends to talk about it, but it was aborted fairly soon. I did not want to go out of my way, to possibly make the impression I am one of them, or I am gay, so I just let it go.

Me, I'm not (jackpot!!) looking for awareness. There was (still is) a Starcraft 2 (a video game) professional player, who was born a boy, but identifies a girl. Since I liked that game and its' professional scene, I made myself read about it, and learned a lot about transsexuality. Pure coincidence. Many people from my scoial circle have no idea what it is, and they probabl think it's just some kind of fetish. I'd want sex ed teachers to talk about EVERYTHING. Every STDs, not just about AIDS, oral sex, discharge, homosexuality, transsexuality, asexuality, EVERYTHING. I'd want that, but it's a fat chance when the sex ed. teahcer have a hard time even saying penis out loud.

3.
a. - this is something I have never heard about before in my country. Talking about gender neutral bathrooms.
b. - How is it simple? The male and female body are different. Just compare all the world records. I can totally see why women athelete's wuld lash out (they already did in some cases) on transsexuals in their field. It is just not fair. Then again, how is denying someone from playing sports among the sex he/she identifies with in?

Not talking about you, but at least here, politics are a good example of this. If your mother and father have always voted for A, and hated B with passion, there is a very very very good chance you'll became an A votes as well. Why? Because you were told so A is great and B is shit. That's it. If your parents says gays should be beaten to death and it is an aberration to be gay, there is a good chance you will grow up to be a homophobic. Not guaranteed, sure, but it's still pretty far from the utopy where parents will talk with their kids about homosexuality and let him/her to freely decide how to feel and how to act.

[Jinsai]

The majority of the people are just repeating the same words they were taught by their parents..

I find that more often, it's the people who throw around language disparaging homosexuals and trans gender people as "the other" are often the ones parroting the ideas and attitudes of their parents on the subject, rather than the other way around. Are you saying that your parents are open minded about trans rights, and you're working against the grain here by bluntly just "not getting it?"

I've been to some pretty liberal festivals in the US and Europe, I've been to Hungary, I've never seen guys "suck dicks in the street to show they are normal." I can upload some pictures of public heterosexual debauchery from Mardi Gras however, but it would be pretty nsfw.

[marodi]

Every single time I read about the "bathroom" argument regarding trans persons I'm thinking "Am I the only one who remembers the unisex restroom of Ally McBeal?"

Why the heck is this event controversial? You get into the pee-and-poo room, you get into a stall and you either pee or poo or do both. In a freaking stall. I've never seen the private part of another person while using public restroom. I know you gents have urinals which are not as private as a stall but unless you use them as an excuse to check each others junk, I guess they are there for you to pee in. And you have stalls too because even guys have to poo once in a while.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

[Sarah K]

1. Both needs awareness. Ask a 16 years old about transsexuality. He/she will stare at you like if you were aksing them about rocket-science.

2. I'M saying chicks with dicks, because those who are not aware of transsexuals, will look at them like that. I had some futile attempt with friends to talk about it, but it was aborted fairly soon. I did not want to go out of my way, to possibly make the impression I am one of them, or I am gay, so I just let it go.

Me, I'm not (jackpot!!) looking for awareness. There was (still is) a Starcraft 2 (a video game) professional player, who was born a boy, but identifies a girl. Since I liked that game and its' professional scene, I made myself read about it, and learned a lot about transsexuality. Pure coincidence. Many people from my scoial circle have no idea what it is, and they probabl think it's just some kind of fetish. I'd want sex ed teachers to talk about EVERYTHING. Every STDs, not just about AIDS, oral sex, discharge, homosexuality, transsexuality, asexuality, EVERYTHING. I'd want that, but it's a fat chance when the sex ed. teahcer have a hard time even saying penis out loud.

3.
a. - this is something I have never heard about before in my country. Talking about gender neutral bathrooms.
b. - How is it simple? The male and female body are different. Just compare all the world records. I can totally see why women athelete's wuld lash out (they already did in some cases) on transsexuals in their field. It is just not fair. Then again, how is denying someone from playing sports among the sex he/she identifies with in?

Not talking about you, but at least here, politics are a good example of this. If your mother and father have always voted for A, and hated B with passion, there is a very very very good chance you'll became an A votes as well. Why? Because you were told so A is great and B is shit. That's it. If your parents says gays should be beaten to death and it is an aberration to be gay, there is a good chance you will grow up to be a homophobic. Not guaranteed, sure, but it's still pretty far from the utopy where parents will talk with their kids about homosexuality and let him/her to freely decide how to feel and how to act.

1 - Sure. But sexuality and identity are still different issues. They aren't related.

I don't know any 16 year old kids. But I DO have an 18 year old brother who is very aware of trans* topics. So much more so than I was aware of at that age.

2 - If you hear someone saying something like that, my advice would be to correct the error, and offer them some new information. If your friends think you're "gay" for talking about these important topics, then I would suggest finding new friends. Because the ones you have now are shitty.

3a - gender neutral bathrooms are becoming more common here. They are by no means the norm, but I have noticed a shift in the last few years. I'm seeing it way more often than I ever have before.
3b - It's simple because the athlete competes with the gender they are. The end.


I disagree on your last point. As someone else stated, usually the blind repeating of what we hear when we grow up comes from conservative ideals and/or hate based things. But we all have minds of our own, and we all have access to limitless information. If you(not YOU, you. A general you) are ignorant of these topics in this age, I think the fault lies on you. It's up to us to gather information on topics, and THEN make an informed decision/opinion.

[theruiner]

@Volband - I gotta tell you, by and large, young people tend to be the most open minded, generally speaking. And they are usually WAY more aware of these issues than older generations. We didn't have transgender kids becoming prom queens 10 or 15 years ago. We didn't have kids coming out in high school and changing their gender presentation and being generally accepted as their new gender. We have that now. Kids are WAY more savvy than you're giving them credit for. At least here (and I know we're not in the same country so maybe it's different over there.)

[orestes]

So this is pretty great.

[allegro]

Every single time I read about the "bathroom" argument regarding trans persons I'm thinking "Am I the only one who remembers the unisex restroom of Ally McBeal?"

Why the heck is this event controversial? You get into the pee-and-poo room, you get into a stall and you either pee or poo or do both. In a freaking stall. I've never seen the private part of another person while using public restroom. I know you gents have urinals which are not as private as a stall but unless you use them as an excuse to check each others junk, I guess they are there for you to pee in. And you have stalls too because even guys have to poo once in a while.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Yeah, exactly! ALLY MCBEAL.

This whole thing "bathroom" controversy thing is kinda new. In the 70s and 80s, everybody was doing coke and sharing bathrooms. It was no big fucking deal. At gay bars, it's still "all bets are off." Chicks use the men's rooms, and if you go into the ladies' room there are 15 guys in there. This prude shit about bathrooms is just puritanical bullshit. If you go to a baseball game or a hockey game and there are 900 women in the line for the ladies' room, I GUARANTEE you will see women going into the men's room because they don't want to wait in line. AND THE MEN DON'T CARE. Caring about bathrooms is just some new religious puritanical bullshit thing that's come up as a barrier against transgender people. My elderly mother has gone into the men's room to pee! When you gotta go, you gotta go! IT'S PEE.

JESUS CHRIST, PEOPLE, CAVE PEOPLE USED TO SHIT IN THE FUCKING WOODS.

There are unisex bathrooms at various concert venues around Chicago. The Chicago Botanic Garden has them. Sometimes they are called "family" bathrooms.

[Dra508]

This fills me with pride for my newly adopted city
http://interactives.dallasnews.com/2015/gender/

[theruiner]

I had someone just tell me that I would never be a woman and that transgender people were the equivalent of little kids who pretend to be rock stars or ballerinas but aren't really those things, that we're all just delusional and that we shouldn't expect people to indulge in our fantasies.

Same person actually said that I was a bad person because I am sad that I never got to experience my childhood as my true gender instead of "being happy about the one I had."

I know it's the internet and I know there are a lot of stupid assholes in this world, but wow. This person doesn't bother me so much (she made me really angry at first but then I realized that she was a small minded bigot and her opinions didn't matter, so I feel much better). But in general I am getting really, real sick of transphobes trying to invalidate my identity and experiences. I broke down crying the other day after responding to a troll basically doing the same thing.

I know it shouldn't matter but it does. I've spent my entire life being told I shouldn't be who I am, that I should live a lie and my identity isn't real. No matter how thick your skin is after awhile it starts to really get you down. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to just not transition and just live the rest of the life as a miserable man, that maybe that would be easier. But then the assholes win and I refuse to let that happen.

[Sarah K]

You're one of the most caring and genuine people I've ever "known".

There are always going to be assholes. There is always going to be ignorance. But you're correct... If you don't live your life in an authentic manner because of what other people say, then you have lost, and they have won.

You're stronger than that.

I can't even begin to comprehend the journey you are taking, and I won't pretend that I do. But there ARE a lot of people who are supportive of you and care about what happens to you. Live your life for yourself and those who are in your corner. At the end of the day, nobody else really matters.

[allegro]

What really surprises me is that the diatribe came from a female. And I suspect all that was more about her own issues and self esteem than about transgender females. She seems to be threatened, like these people want to infiltrate her country club. And this, again, points more to her own personal insecurities and fear of change than about the subject at hand. I wouldn't place too much emphasis on it; consider the source and maybe stay away from various online "discussions."

If you want to be the person you want to be, stop hanging out in forums online where you are likely to be abused by people. You are sabotoging your progress and self esteem.

[Dra508]

What really surprises me is that the diatribe came from a female.

Why?

She sounds like one of my BF's sisters. She told me that she plans to explain homosexuals to her kids as "roommates". WTF.

[allegro]

Why?

She sounds like one of my BF's sisters. She told me that she plans to explain homosexuals to her kids as "roommates". WTF.

Well, but that's not a diatribe, that's just chickening out about having to explain the whole thing (and, really, come on, kids aren't stupid, they eventually figure it out on their own, but really in the old days every old uncle or aunt living with a guy for 30 years was a "roommate" or "his balls were blown off in the war" when they were gay). My mom went on and on about Caitlyn Jenner the other day, "I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF ALL THIS, IT'S DISGUSTING" blah blah blah blah, and it ends up she doesn't understand this whole transgender thing at all (she's 77) but she really doesn't care about it; she just hates all this media overload and she really hates the Kardashians, she thinks they are "famous for nothing" so she is mostly disgusted any time the media takes any opportunity to overdo just about anything. But, really, she doesn't really give a rat's ass about the issue, itself. But it seems to be mostly GUYS online who go nuts over guys becoming females or vice-versa; that's been my observation, anyway. As if it's some kind of sin to "switch teams."

[Dra508]

Well, but that's not a diatribe, that's just chickening out about having to explain the whole thing (and, really, come on, kids aren't stupid, they eventually figure it out on their own, but really in the old days every old uncle or aunt living with a guy for 30 years was a "roommate" or "his balls were blown off in the war" when they were gay). My mom went on and on about Caitlyn Jenner the other day, "I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF ALL THIS, IT'S DISGUSTING" blah blah blah blah, and it ends up she doesn't understand this whole transgender thing at all (she's 77) but she really doesn't care about it; she just hates all this media overload and she really hates the Kardashians, she thinks they are "famous for nothing" so she is mostly disgusted any time the media takes any opportunity to overdo just about anything. But, really, she doesn't really give a rat's ass about the issue, itself. But it seems to be mostly GUYS online who go nuts over guys becoming females or vice-versa; that's been my observation, anyway. As if it's some kind of sin to "switch teams."

True, that it's chickening out.

Regarding gender and sexuality: I had to explain, as best as I could, to my BF. I think the vast majority of people who are only getting newly exposed to transgender, aren't aware and assume they are one in the same. "Does this mean Caitlyn likes men now?"

BTW, I took my Mom into the Karadashian store in Soho a couple of years ago, she being 77 too having no idea who they are, sees this 10 foot photo of them on the wall and says, not very quietly "they aren't very good looking". Bwahahhahhaha - WOW MOM.

[allegro]

BTW, I took my Mom into the Karadashian store in Soho a couple of years ago, she being 77 too having no idea who they are, sees this 10 foot photo of them on the wall and says, not very quietly "they aren't very good looking". Bwahahhahhaha - WOW MOM.

LOL LOL.

In one of the episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe is over at Kourtney and Scott's house and Kourtney says that they've been to a counselor to discuss their son Mason (age 5 1/2) as to how to properly deal with Bruce's transition, and Scott says yeah, it's not that there's anything wrong with what Bruce is doing, but they do have to explain in the right way when Mason asks, "yeah, remember that Grandpa guy? What ever happened to him?"

[marodi]

If you want to be the person you want to be, stop hanging out in forums online where you are likely to be abused by people. You are sabotaging your progress and self esteem.

THIS. A million times this. I was thinking the exact same thing when I read your post but I was far too chicken to write it. But @allegro is far wiser than I'll ever be and she has balls of steel and she SPEAKS THE TRUTH.

So there it is: you're awesome, I'm a coward and allegro is going to save us all whether we like it or not.

[theruiner]

While I totally agree with that, this WAS a safe place before. It was the comment section at Jezebel which was the one and only website where I would actually read the comments because, seriously, 99% of the time under trans articles the people there were supportive. There would be the very rare bigot but they would get shut down pretty quickly by the other people. There aren't very many sites where I can read the comments and it was really refreshing to see so many people who were so supportive.

Then, for some reason (almost certainly because of the Caitlyn Jenner VF cover) the bigots came crawling out of the swamp. Like, in droves. A week ago I felt totally comfortable reading and occasionally commenting there. Now? Unfortunately it's probably going to end up being yet another website where I won't touch the comment section with a 10 foot pole. Honestly, it used to be filled with a lot of support, it really did. Now there are quite a few assholes on there and they're all sounding off with the most vile crap you can imagine. No longer a safe space. Lesson learned.

[allegro]

Well, but I don't feel "safe" reading the comments ANYWHERE these days, there are so many fucking trolls. I want to go wash out my brain and eyes. My blood pressure doesn't need any of that shit, and neither does yours.

When you see that "comments" section, MOVE ALONG, MOVE ALONG ...

[eversonpoe]

But @allegro is far wiser than I'll ever be and she has balls of steel and she SPEAKS THE TRUTH.

@allegro if you ever donate to the board and are able to change your custom title, please make it BALLS OF STEEL

[allegro]

@allegro if you ever donate to the board and are able to change your custom title, please make it BALLS OF STEEL

I donated ages ago after the reboot but I am a female and have no balls, so ...

[Dra508]

I donated ages ago after the reboot but I am a female and have no balls, so ...

QOTD. This reminds me of the time I saw Amanda Palmer perform and she happened to be walking through the theatre before the performance when someone, who seemed to be a friend, toss down a ball at her. Amanda threw it back at the dude to which he yelled down: "you throw like a girl" to which she quickly yelled back "I am a girl!!" Say what you will about AFP, I thought that was an awesome response.

allegro - active vagina.

[eversonpoe]

I donated ages ago after the reboot but I am a female and have no balls, so ...

i know...i was trying to be funny

QOTD. This reminds me of the time I saw Amanda Palmer perform and she happened to be walking through the theatre before the performance when someone, who seemed to be a friend, toss down a ball at her. Amanda threw it back at the dude to which he yelled down: "you throw like a girl" to which she quickly yelled back "I am a girl!!" Say what you will about AFP, I thought that was an awesome response.

when the dresden dolls opened for NIN at the congress, amanda and brian did a photoshoot up in those weird things above/behind the stage before the show. at one point, she was posing with her arm up and some a-hole in the audience yelled "shave your pits!" so she seductively transformed her pose into one flicking him off.

later, during the show, the same dude yelled something else while she was talking, and she said "you must be the same gentleman who commented on the state of my body hair earlier" to which he replied "Fuck YEAHHHHHHHHHH!" then she invited him on stage to trim her armpit hair...with his teeth. needless to say, he declined.

[sick among the pure]

Finally got on a health insurance plan that covers trans* surgery. Got my insurance card in the mail, went for a consultation with the best ftm chest surgeon in the east (who happens to be a half hour drive away).

Oh, what's that? Even though I have insurance I have to pay THE ENTIRE COST UPFRONT AND HAVE THE INSURANCE COMPANY REFUND ME WHAT THEY COVER? YEAH OK THAT'S COOL LET ME JUST FIND A FEW THOUSAND DOLLARS IN THE NEXT MONTH.

Mind you, I don't have any problem with paying medical bills, I'll be paying student loans for 30+ years anyway. My problem is I can't pay what I have up front and make payments on the rest for a year or two. No. I have to pay $6-8k up front, when I have $2k in my savings and work a part-time job with a fiance who is recently unemployed. Even if I didn't eat or pay any bills, I could never do this in time.

(If I'm ever going to do this, it has to be scheduled by July. My lease is up August 1st, and I am not staying in Philly after healing enough from surgery to move away. If we do monthly extensions of rent, it'll be almost twice as much per month.)

So close, and yet so far. Now I feel like absolute shit. I have to go to work in an hour feeling like a hopeless mess and take people bitching at me (yay tech support for Apple). I kinda want to just curl up into a ball and die.

[marodi]

Oh, what's that? Even though I have insurance I have to pay THE ENTIRE COST UPFRONT AND HAVE THE INSURANCE COMPANY REFUND ME WHAT THEY COVER? YEAH OK THAT'S COOL LET ME JUST FIND A FEW THOUSAND DOLLARS IN THE NEXT MONTH.

That's really shitty. I'm so sorry my friend. Try to hang in there, one day at a time. You've worked so hard to become who you really are. Something's going to come up and things will work out your way, I'm sure of it.

*hugs and love*