The COVID-19 coping thread

[piggy]

i don't know where to put this ....

my partner of 21 years, a little on and off, died last monday. i felt his heart stop. i am utterly lost. i so wish he could have taken me with him. i'm not okay and i never will be.

So sorry, my friend...

[allegro]

i don't know where to put this ....

my partner of 21 years, a little on and off, died last monday. i felt his heart stop. i am utterly lost. i so wish he could have taken me with him. i'm not okay and i never will be.

Oh @kel I’m so sorry. I’m giving you an electronic hug. I wish I could give you a real big hug.

[Magnetic]

i don't know where to put this ....

my partner of 21 years, a little on and off, died last monday. i felt his heart stop. i am utterly lost. i so wish he could have taken me with him. i'm not okay and i never will be.

How truly horrible. I'm so sorry.

[eversonpoe]

i don't know where to put this ....

my partner of 21 years, a little on and off, died last monday. i felt his heart stop. i am utterly lost. i so wish he could have taken me with him. i'm not okay and i never will be.

oh, kel. i'm so, so sorry. we all love you here. don't hesitate to ask if you need anything.

[theimage13]

This opinion piece in the New York Times (don't worry, no paywall) might be the closest thing to describing exactly the way my brain sees the world as there's ever been. Posting in this particular thread because it sort of speaks to how people like us cope with times like these.

In praise of pessimism: this country is going to need its Eeyores

[versusreality]

Incredibly sorry for your loss. I have no words...

[ickyvicky]

So sorry :-(

[Magnetic]

This opinion piece in the New York Times (don't worry, no paywall) might be the closest thing to describing exactly the way my brain sees the world as there's ever been. Posting in this particular thread because it sort of speaks to how people like us cope with times like these.

In praise of pessimism: this country is going to need its Eeyores

Same.

[MrLobster]

I... uh... just bought over 100$ of good quality chocolate.

[allegate]

I think there's a direct flight from here to Calgary...

[Swykk]

Sorry for your loss, @kel

[MrLobster]

I think there's a direct flight from here to Calgary...

See, I was expecting the order to get to me tomorrow... it's already arrived.

We can order more.

[Jinsai]

I'm right now having a crippling anxiety attack... the repetition, I don't know. I feel like bashing my head against a wall and screaming. I miss sitting in traffic. I miss looking forward to things.

[eversonpoe]

I'm right now having a crippling anxiety attack... the repetition, I don't know. I feel like bashing my head against a wall and screaming. I miss sitting in traffic. I miss looking forward to things.

is there an album you can put on that can help center you? music always helps me when i get into a space like that.

try some grounding exercises. observe five things around you that are a particular color. describe five physical sensations you're experiencing outside of the anxiety (even if they're all touch-related). hold something that has a pleasant texture.

recognizing that you're in a panic cycle is the first step to cutting it off and keeping it from perpetuating itself. you have power over it even if you don't feel like you do.

:: hug ::

[sweeterthan]

I'm right now having a crippling anxiety attack... the repetition, I don't know. I feel like bashing my head against a wall and screaming. I miss sitting in traffic. I miss looking forward to things.

I was feeling that way yesterday. My kids (and I) are missing baseball and ballet. This week, we would’ve had a game and a performance. These events are so fun and busy for me. Plus, nin was supposed to be inducted into the rnrhof this weekend and it’s my wedding anniversary. All those plans are sidelined. I needed something to do so I started working on gather items for a neighborhood homeless person who is living in a hotel. That helped me feel like I was doing something important.

ETA: I just realized this: yesterday some poor dude stalked me in the Walmart parking lot to ask to clean my tires. I had no cash and wasn't looking to interact with anyone so I told him thru my mask that I had no cash. I felt bad about it. I'm pretty sure he was waiting for me to come out and he walked around my car a few times. It was pretty obvious he was targeting me but I still wish I had something to give him. I've given stuff to the Nancy the neighborhood homeless lady (long story) before so doing it again is convenient and makes me feel like I did something for someone who needs it. Its just so hard to feel such despair and depression when I have so much and am comfortable and not begging in the Walmart parking lot. I didn't make the connection to tire guy until now.

Also: I've been coming up with random projects for myself. Last week I made moss gardens. this week I'm working on spring cleaning my bedroom. I think next week I'm gonna knit a scarf. These things help me feel good for no reason.

[ickyvicky]

My husband and I used to have 3 cats, they were siblings - all 12 years old. One of them passed in January, and then the 2nd one unexpectedly passed in March (I've written about that experience here earlier in this thread). Since the 2nd one's passing, our now one cat, Alana, won't stop meowing/crying all day and night. It's heartbreaking. We obviously have been giving her a lot more attention, hugs & kisses, playing with her more - but the moment she's alone she'll start crying like she's lost. It's loud and she'll start as early as 5:00am. She's eating and drinking normally, litter box is also fine - no changes. We asked our sister-in-law, who used to be a vet, what her thoughts were and what we could do to help her - and she said we should stop reacting to her meows because it only reinforces the behavior, and to possibly get a new cat because it's clear that she's depressed/lonely.

My husband likes the idea of getting a new cat(s) to give her a friend again. While I'd love to do that - there's just something inside me that's not ready yet. I'm still mourning the other two cats, and with all of this whole COVID19 shit - I'm just super stressed and not mentally ready to take on a new responsibility. He says to me, "I understand why you're not ready, but she's suffering." Which kind of pissed me off - like putting the blame on me. He probably didn't mean it that way, but I definitely didn't like his word choice of "suffering". And it's harder to introduce a new cat to a senior cat - it could easily flop, unless we get kittens - which I kind of don't want. I'd rather adopt an older cat that's been sitting in the shelter for a while and give it a chance of a forever home.

And with this COVID19 situation, are animal shelters even safe to go into now? I may be overthinking it, I just don't know what their situations are like.

I don't know what to do :-(

[thelastdisciple]

It was a shit show at Canadian Tire (hardware & automotive store) a few days ago. I was out with my Dad as he went to pick up something he ordered online at CT, the way they're doing business right now during all this COVID-19 stuff is basically you pull up in your vehicle in a lineup in front of the store and call CT, they ask for what you ordered and take your name while they get someone to bring it out to you. Then you're supposed to pull ahead and the person comes out to verify your order and confirm your id while they go and put it in your trunk or slide it in through your window.


Well Dad was getting pissed off as he didn't realize the phone call part of it so we sat there in front of CT like idiots waiting for someone to come outside to the vehicle, he figured they'd just see us waiting there and come out to ask what it was that we wanted.
I told him that you prob have to call them first, so he tried calling like 3 times and realized he was putting in the wrong number. He got more pissed, finally called the right number and it took forever to get through, then they had to put him on hold so he got even more pissed because he only had like 6 minutes of talk time left on his phone before he would be charged per minute..


Then while he's on hold burning through his minutes, some CT person finally comes to our vehicle wondering why we were sitting there for so long while there were other cars behind us also waiting, my Dad says he's waiting on hold with CT and gets in a big shit fit about how long it was taking and why they couldn't have just come outside to the vehicle in the first place instead of doing all the phone rigmarole. There were other remarks but you kind of had to be there to get the full picture.

I was soooo embarrassed as this was escalating and i didn't know what to say or do i just sort of sat there in the passenger seat as my Dad shouted and carried on, my anxiety was shooting through the roof and i was worried the poor CT employee was going to call the cops on my Dad or something which luckily didn't happen.

I just sort of sank in to myself as i rattled, became conscious of my heart beat and found it hard to swallow. Not fun.

[thelastdisciple]

JESUS FUCK WHO IS POSTING THE SPIDER SHIT~!?

I near had a god damn heart attack!

EDIT: Lol @allegro thanks for downgrading the spider content, severe arachnophobia here. I'm not looking for special treatment but that was nice of you, of all threads that i thought I'd be safe from something like that getting posted lmao

Now there's just what @Erneuert posted so i put my hand over the screen to cover it.

Maybe i should turn off the youtube embeds in my settings.

[allegro]

And with this COVID19 situation, are animal shelters even safe to go into now? I may be overthinking it, I just don't know what their situations are like.

I don't know what to do :-(

I believe that some shelters actually have "virtual" adoptions going on right now. That being said, I'd still worry about a cat who's literally howling that much for this LONG, but only doing when she's alone.

My 18-yr-old female was keeping me up at night, crying at me right next to my face in the middle of the night, and did 2 vet visits with zero results.

My instincts said something was wrong, this cat has CKD, but the vets kept telling me to ignore the howling, maybe she's hungry, leave food for her, etc. I'd get up at 3 a.m. and give her food, I'd feed her a canned food snack before bed, etc. Her main vet suggested possible senile sleeping disorder and suggested a low-dose of melatonin. I tried that, did nothing. I hadn’t had a full night's sleep in months.

Then, my cat woke me up on a Saturday night a few weeks ago, BLEEDING out her hind end. She was peeing and BLEEDING. Ended up all that howling was her trying to tell me she had a friggin' UTI. Long story short: Ends up elderly cats not only have problems sleeping at night, but they also commonly get CKD which also leads to common bouts of UTIs.

Your girl is 12, she's 64 in human years which means she's a senior girl and is subject to some senior problems. She might just have some anxiety that she has to work through right now. Have you talked with your vet about temporary medication for this? Some people I know are really into CBD oil for cats, but I've never known enough about dosage.

I know that whenever my vets say to "ignore" something, I just can't do that. It just seems kinda mean. But, getting up and doing something every time they cry kind of trains them, too, like Pavlov's Dog.

[zero]

ETA: I just realized this: yesterday some poor dude stalked me in the Walmart parking lot to ask to clean my tires.

I must be really out of the loop, or perhaps it's just a regional thing? Never ever heard of the tire cleaning thing. Is this something common, which most people are aware of?

[MrLobster]

I also experimented on myself with similarly lackluster results. Zero stars.

The CBD hype (and fuck hemp CBD as well) can go away aaaaannnnny time now. Whole plant 4 life.

[MrLobster]

I know a lot of people who swear by it.

Never doubt the power of a placebo effect and what I call "hopesploitation" (taking something... anything in the *hopes* it'll work but ultimately just cost money... so much money...).

Though, I will say, obviously, that I'm very much pro-cannabis as medicine, especially for things like movement disorders (including most seizure types). I know I was hella surprised that actually worked for me. I had watched a documentary where a woman was inhaling it for a severe stutter and she was able to talk smoothly... since that was party of my problem in the early days of my disability, I figured if it could help with that I'd already be better off. To much surprise it "stopped" the shaking entirely... for a while. And since I really, really, REALLY don't want to be living that dystonia state for any longer than I absolutely have to, cannabis is medicine for me. Thankfully the legal situation in Canada works for me. Sure, it also helps with the acute chronic pain and depression as well but mainly, managing the shaking it the primary goal.

[sweeterthan]

I must be really out of the loop, or perhaps it's just a regional thing? Never ever heard of the tire cleaning thing. Is this something common, which most people are aware of?

I live in the city. People in need will sometimes offer to clean your windshield or your tires for money. I’ve been approached for money at this Walmart and it’s adjacent Kroger many times in the past. I must either look sympathetic or like a sucker.

[allegro]

One anxious-cat-lover's opinion: This was a waste of time and money for my cat. I also experimented on myself with similarly lackluster results. Zero stars.

I got it for myself to test drive and just got a headache.

My anxious cat’s on Prozac. Not a 100% cure but WAY better than no Prozac.

THC is the component of marijuana that causes anxiety in those already prone to anxiety. Remove that and you get CBD. I guess the problem partly lies with the lack of regulation relative to CBD dosing or potency or purity. Because THC is the element that gets you high, you’ll never get high with CBD, but a lot of impure crap in CBD as well as too much CBD can increase anxiety vs. help it.

The cat community is really into CBD to stimulate feline appetite. Again, this didn’t work for me but I blame it on lack of vet involvement hence unreliable dose and direction.


Back on topic:

Britney Spears accidentally burned down her home gym with a candle.

Wtf, here I’m worried about mask supplies

[eversonpoe]

my covers EP is live!

featuring my interpretations of songs by low, the cure, cat power, & pj harvey. four pieces of music that saved my life during some of my darkest years (high school).

plus, all of my music is now pay what you can. anything i make between midnight & midnight (pacific time) on any of my releases via bandcamp on may 1st is going to the Chicago Covid-19 Response Fund.

[MrLobster]

[elevenism]

Holy god @kel . I've not been around here in awhile. I am so, so sorry

[allegate]

my covers EP is live!

featuring my interpretations of songs by low, the cure, cat power, & pj harvey. four pieces of music that saved my life during some of my darkest years (high school).

plus, all of my music is now pay what you can. anything i make between midnight & midnight (pacific time) on any of my releases via bandcamp on may 1st is going to the Chicago Covid-19 Response Fund.

congrats, can't wait to listen later.

[allegro]

EDIT: Lol @allegro thanks for downgrading the spider content, severe arachnophobia here. I'm not looking for special treatment but that was nice of you, of all threads that i thought I'd be safe from something like that getting posted lmao

I get it. I used to have pretty bad arachnophobia. (I was cured via exposure therapy, FWIW. It really works, slowly but surely.)

[MrLobster]

Coping right now with some music therapy via streaming tunes... or screaming into the empty void... whichever.

Edit: all done, like 3.5h was good enough.