I'm realizing a relationship/friendship that was in my life for years and years was a lot more toxic than I ever realized, and it's giving me weird clarity around my own actions that I didn't have before (the tl;dr of it is that maybe I was much less bad than I thought I was, this shit seriously lowered my opinion of myself for like... the past 5 years).

I was talking about this stuff with my mom tonight, and I was describing how I felt about this person... that their mental health, which they refused to seek external help for, felt like knowing someone with a broken leg who never saw a doctor, treated it themselves, but if we then went on a walk would go "How dare you ask me to go on a walk! You KNOW my leg is broken." when their leg started hurting.

And my mom points out that the leg hurting and their reaction to the pain are two different things, and that some people would just say that their leg was hurting and that they needed to stop.