The Relationship Thread

[Fixer808]

Goin' on a date tomorrow, happy happy! Is it sappy that when she left on Sunday I was heading home for the weekend, and when I got back to my place a few minutes ago I'd forgotten that she'd left a toothbrush and her bag of fetishy/gothy attire here and it made me grin?
'CAUSE IT DID.

[Charmingly Miserable]

So....I'm doing the whole online dating thing (again). I've been on the damn thing for 9 days now and my profile has been viewed by 333 guys. That's 333 guys probably jerking off to my picks. Ugh. I don't want to be objectified but that's what I imagine.

[ophelia_]

Yeah, I get the impression that the majority of people on dating sites are not in fact looking for dates, but they're there to get off.

I refuse to tell people that I met my partner on OKC so I just avoid those kind of sites and sit at home lonely and crying into a bowl of mexican food instead :P

[Fixer808]

Heh, I'm not telling my parents I met my gal at a fetish club... "Yeah, it's a sweet story, we were dancing and I thought she was way younger than me but it turned out she was about my age! Isn't that a coincidence? Anyway, then we went into the dungeon and I whipped her for a bit..."

[The_Prowler]

Yeah, I get the impression that the majority of people on dating sites are not in fact looking for dates, but they're there to get off.

I refuse to tell people that I met my partner on OKC so I just avoid those kind of sites and sit at home lonely and crying into a bowl of mexican food instead :P

Unlike those kind of guys, I legitimately do use dating sites to try and find a real relationship. I recently just started seeing a girl I met on OkCupid (okay, I've *seen* her once so far, but we talk on the phone almost every day), and I'm actually very open about where we met when friends ask. If things progress the way I'd like them to, we'd be more proof that normal relationships actually *can* start on that site.
In all honesty, I'm just as surprised as everyone else that it happened in the first place and that we genuinely like each other as much as we do. I was in one relationship before that started on OkCupid that lasted for six months, and that was seven months too long. I knew early on that it wasn't a healthy relationship for me to be in, but I thought (as horrible as it sounds) that my options were either to stick with it or go back to crying myself to sleep every night. I chose poorly and stayed until I couldn't take it anymore and broke it off. I know my story is not the only and far from the worst that's ever happened with that site.

Things seem to be going much better with this girl, thankfully.

[Sarah K]

OKC is for sure populated by many more hornballs than I anticipated. But, at least a lot of them state in their profile that they are only there for sex. I mean, I dig the honesty.

I haven't met anyone off of there, but I'm not opposed to it, either. I've been talking to one person pretty regularly. But I think he is way, WAY out of my league, and he will realize it in a hurry. lol. He has a Master's degree from Syracuse, and is the VP of a nonprofit... So uhhh... Yeah. Haha. I'm sure that it'll be short lived.

I don't really get the whole "Being embarrassed by meeting on the internet" deal. I mean, meh. It's a good way to connect with people, and know you have common interests before you waste time.

[aggroculture]

I don't really get the "I am just looking for sex" deal.
Just looking for sex? Pay a sex worker.
Who are these guys who just want to wham bam thank you mam and then leave?
I know "most guys" are supposed to be like this...I just don't get why so many men are this way.
To me good company and friendship and great conversation and having an awesome time together and doing cool stuff are more important than sex. If there's good sex, great. Why does it have to be the "main thing" on all these hornballs' mind? I'm not trying to pretend I am not a hornball too, but jeez, enough with the endless sexual frustration already. There's so much more to life.
It's like masculinity has become equated with sexual frustration, and it's getting old.
/OK rant over.

[Sarah K]

Many of them openly state that they are "married and not looking to change that" but "looking for fun". A.K.A. "I'm having a midlife crisis"

[jessamineny]

I don't really get the "I am just looking for sex" deal.
Just looking for sex? Pay a sex worker.
Who are these guys who just want to wham bam thank you mam and then leave?
I know "most guys" are supposed to be like this...I just don't get why so many men are this way.
To me good company and friendship and great conversation and having an awesome time together and doing cool stuff are more important than sex. If there's good sex, great. Why does it have to be the "main thing" on all these hornballs' mind? I'm not trying to pretend I am not a hornball too, but jeez, enough with the endless sexual frustration already. There's so much more to life.
It's like masculinity has become equated with sexual frustration, and it's getting old.
/OK rant over.

Honestly, I think a lot of guys use sites (especially those like fetlife, alt.com, aff, etc.) as alternatives to paying for sex workers... they're trolling around hoping they'll find some "slutty chicks" to bang them for free.

[blackholesun]

I did the online dating for a while last year. I met several women and the dates ranged from pretty boring to just okay. I was hoping for a bad experience just so I could have a story. I think I only ever went out with someone more than once, twice. I actually met my current girlfriend during that time, and it turned out we went to high school together and had a few mutual friends. So I'm not sure if that's why we ended up connecting and actually hitting it off. I actually didn't think our first date was going great until one of us brought up school and we were kind of able to get past that "awkward only talking about your common interests" first date chatter.

[ophelia_]

It's not that I'm against online dating, it's just that I've met my 3 previous boyfriends off Facebook and they were all fucked up dickheads. So I'm a bit hesitant to meet anyone online anymore.

ALL I WANT IS A BOYFRIEND WHO LOVES NIN AND WANTS TO GIVE ME CUDDLES ALL THE TIME! WYYYYYYY!

I have this internal struggle - I hate the prospect of getting hurt, so I don't want a relationship - but at the same time, I love cuddles and sex and having someone that I can drag along with me to things. Urgh. Fuck my brain.

[Sarah K]

ALL I WANT IS A BOYFRIEND WHO LOVES NIN

I have this internal struggle - I hate the prospect of getting hurt, so I don't want a relationship - but at the same time, I love cuddles and sex and having someone that I can drag along with me to things. Urgh. Fuck my brain

This is my life. You wanna touch boobs?

[ophelia_]

Boob buddies <3

[JessicaSarahS]

Honestly, I think a lot of guys use sites (especially those like fetlife, alt.com, aff, etc.) as alternatives to paying for sex workers... they're trolling around hoping they'll find some "slutty chicks" to bang them for free.

Right? And heaven forbid you actually have a job and social life outside of dating. These guys act like online dating is a pussy delivery service.

I just had this experience today. We had a nice first date. I warned him afterwards and by text that this week will be an unusually busy work week for me, so contact me on Friday and I might be able to meet up on the weekend. Well, he texts me today and asks if I can meet him on Friday. I tell him I'm busy and this happens:



Hey dude...I'm sorry that the things attached to the pussy you want to fuck have jobs and families and friends. Slowly, I am becoming ok with being "forever alone" if it means I can avoid these douchebags.

[Sarah K]

You shouldn't fuck him based on his poor grammar alone.

[JessicaSarahS]

You shouldn't fuck him based on his poor grammar alone.

Bwahaha, yes! It started out all good, then got worse over time.

[jessamineny]

The level of butthurt, paranoia and entitlement is staggering.

[implanted_microchip]

the little smiling generic avatar makes that way funnier to me.

[Fixer808]

Went on a lunch date and a shopping stroll with my GIRLFRIEND, eeeeeeeeeeeee. It was fantastic, seeing her again on Friday, possibly for the whole day if I'm off in the evening, then maybe a movie on Saturday. I'm obnoxiously happy right now, it's disgusting. We were parting ways on the street as I was leaving for work and we were kissing and almost fell over because we were on a slight hill, she said "Hmmm, you falling for me a bit, then?", "Oh, maybe just a LITTLE..."

She also planted a huge one on my cheek with bright red lipstick on, so I wore that to work! <3 <3 <3

[eversonpoe]

Went on a lunch date and a shopping stroll with my GIRLFRIEND, eeeeeeeeeeeee. It was fantastic, seeing her again on Friday, possibly for the whole day if I'm off in the evening, then maybe a movie on Saturday. I'm obnoxiously happy right now, it's disgusting. We were parting ways on the street as I was leaving for work and we were kissing and almost fell over because we were on a slight hill, she said "Hmmm, you falling for me a bit, then?", "Oh, maybe just a LITTLE..."

She also planted a huge one on my cheek with bright red lipstick on, so I wore that to work! <3 <3 <3

:: BARF ::

just kidding, that's freakin' adorable! my fiancee and i are still like that after three years.

[Fixer808]

Hehehe, you might be used to it but others may have to bear with me as I become insufferable

The lipstick thing was funny, too, because as I was waiting for the bus a pair of women walked by chatting and one broke off to say "He's got a kiss on his cheek! That's so cute, must be love!"
When I texted her what they said she replied "Told ya! <3"
We took a bunch of photos today, too. When she sends them to me I'll post one or two...

[Fixer808]

I'M SO IN LOVE!! all caps!

We made it "Facebook Official"

[Charmingly Miserable]

So, I had a date on Friday night. The guys was too optimistic for me. Even though we made out a little bit, I was totally not into him. I'll never contact him again. Then I went on another date last night with another guy. We didn't talk much because we saw a Prince cover band. Even though he is more attractive than Friday night's date, I didn't kiss him and I don't know the probability of seeing this guy again although I think he is into me. Ugh. What's wrong with me? How come I get involved in all these weird dates?

[Sarah K]

I used to LOOOOVE dating. But that was after spending 21 - 28 in super srs relationships. So when I became free, I was like WHOOO DATING EVERYONE. Now, it just seems like a chore, because bros are complicated and can't ever just clearly state what they're actually seeking.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Ugh. What's wrong with me? How come I get involved in all these weird dates?

That's what I get for doing online dating.

Here is my two cents on online dating from a girl's standpoint:
POF was basically the Casual Encounters section on Craigslist. I'd say 99% of the guys just wanted sex. No thank you.
Match was a buzzkill for me because I met one guy off of there. We had a thing for a few months but dropped me because I'd figure I wasn't a skinny white girl. He couldn't figure that out from the moment we met?
OKC: Ok mix of guys. I met one guy off of there but don't know what happened. We just stopped communicating after our third date. Bummer cuz the sex was great.
Zoosk: I'm on it now and 300+ guys are pleasuring themselves in my image. From those 300+ guys, I've communicated with a very small handful (try less than 10). I've only been on two dates thus far and I'm ambivalent of the whole thing.

My therapist tells me that there is no shame in admitting about doing the whole online dating thing. I'm embarrassed that I'm doing it and I am embarrassed even more that this is my fourth attempt since I divorced my ex husband (three times since December). I'm not the problem. I just haven't found the one I need in my life yet.

[implanted_microchip]

My ex and I have started talking again after much-needed cool-off time and we're actually on pretty decent terms. The talks we've had have been completely fine, no arguing or fighting or anything really bad at all. Definitely not like we're going to just bounce back together all of a sudden, but nevertheless it's great to feel like we're friends again and not separate in every way. I know you're supposed to just move on and ignore them, but we both are actually doing pretty well at the moment as friends, so hopefully that keeps up!

[ophelia_]

I'M SO IN LOVE!! all caps!

We made it "Facebook Official"

Your happiness is making me sick :P

Congrats!

[Baphomette]

I'M SO IN LOVE!! all caps!

We made it "Facebook Official"

First @johnbron , now you... So fucking nauseating.

[Fixer808]

It's sickening. I used the term "cuddle-nap" the other day. Barf.

[Dra508]

I'm leaving for Europe next week. Maybe several weeks away will help him to verbalize what would make him happy with this relationship. As great as we have managed this long distance thing for several years, I'm ready to change it and move. He's afraid if I do move and then we break up, he'll feel responsible for ruining my life.. Hurts my head. I'm not a child.