How fucked was your day?

[allegro]

Pay them no mind, you look great. I know cis women who are gorgeous but just happen to be a bit tall that get misgendered a lot, people are weird with this and there really isn’t any need to use this language anyway when you’re being served by somebody

One of the construction workers has told me at least THREE TIMES that I look older than my age, and that my husband (who’s my age) looks 15 years younger than me (my husband has gray hair).

Why people feel the need to just blather shit at people is beyond me.

I used to wear my hair REALLY short. Like, Mia Farrow Rosemary’s Baby style. My ex husband didn’t mind, he liked it.

An older attorney actually came up to me and asked if he could FEEL MY HEAD. (wtf no) He said “your husband must like boys.”

[WorzelG]

One of the construction workers has told me at least THREE TIMES that I look older than my age, and that my husband (who’s my age) looks 15 years younger than me (my husband has gray hair).

Why people feel the need to just blather shit at people is beyond me.

I used to wear my hair REALLY short. Like, Mia Farrow Rosemary’s Baby style. My ex husband didn’t mind, he liked it.

An older attorney actually came up to me and asked if he could FEEL MY HEAD. (wtf no) He said “your husband must like boys.”

yep why so many men feel they’re entitled to talk shit and make assumptions about you is beyond me. You should sack them. Generally I’ve not found women to be like this, or at least they’ll do it behind your back. But so many women in the uk have become obsessed with this gender critical movement. As a mother of 2 autistic boys who may never live independent lives, the move towards gender neutral cubicles at swimming pools is an absolute relief as it means I can take them swimming without their dad being there. But this movement seems hellbent on taking that away

[allegro]

yep why so many men feel they’re entitled to talk shit and make assumptions about you is beyond me. You should sack them. Generally I’ve not found women to be like this, or at least they’ll do it behind your back. But so many women in the uk have become obsessed with this gender critical movement. As a mother of 2 autistic boys who may never live independent lives, the move towards gender neutral cubicles at swimming pools is an absolute relief as it means I can take them swimming without their dad being there. But this movement seems hellbent on taking that away

I just try not to use “Sir” or “Ma’am” kind of language because I just don’t know.

Take Johnny Weir as an example.

He loves fashion, he crosses all kinds of gender boundaries with fashion, he wears makeup, he’s worn his hair in crazy hair styles. You can’t really pinpoint his gender and he apparently likes it that way. But he is not trans. He’s a gay cis man. He gets all kinds of shit for not being a macho sports dude.




The “you look old” dude saw me without my glasses yesterday and said “ohhhhhh, you look so much younger without glasses” and said I looked 5 years younger than the age he thought my husband was. Now he’s just ass kissing. Or something. Maybe I need new glasses, lol.

[allegate]

One of the construction workers has told me at least THREE TIMES that I look older than my age, and that my husband (who’s my age) looks 15 years younger than me (my husband has gray hair).

Why people feel the need to just blather shit at people is beyond me.

I used to wear my hair REALLY short. Like, Mia Farrow Rosemary’s Baby style. My ex husband didn’t mind, he liked it.

An older attorney actually came up to me and asked if he could FEEL MY HEAD. (wtf no) He said “your husband must like boys.”

my wife keeps her hair pretty short, like to the point where she gets a lot of "sirs" when wearing her mask, and it bugs her sometimes because she's not shaped like a man so what's wrong with them?

not sure what they think about me, though people sure do like to volunteer asshole opinions don't they.

[WorzelG]

I just try not to use “Sir” or “Ma’am” kind of language because I just don’t know.

Take Johnny Weir as an example.

He’s flaming gay and proud of it. He loves fashion, he crosses all kinds of gender boundaries with fashion, he wears makeup, he’s worn his hair in crazy hair styles. You can’t really pinpoint his gender and he likes it that way. But he is not trans. He’s a gay cis man. He gets all kinds of shit for not being a macho sports dude. But he doesn’t care.

The “you look old” dude saw me without my glasses yesterday and said “ohhhhhh, you look so much younger without glasses” and said I looked 5 years younger than the age he thought my husband was. Now he’s just ass kissing. Or something. Maybe I need new glasses, lol.

OMG the whole glasses thing really gets on my tits, like I know clever and stupid, hot and not so hot people with glasses, it just means you’re short sighted. The whole woman takes off her glasses (never man) and is seen in a whole new light thing really pisses me off

[shade]

I have to admit I'm not really up to date with gendering language - I don't have any friends or contacts identifying differently from what they were "born into" (for lack of better words).

I guess in a lot of cases I would struggle on how to correctly address someone and probably naturally go with a polite Sir/Madam, but come on, if this person corrects me and gives me a hint, I'll apologize and go with it, and then it should be business as usual. Cause I really don't care how people identify and express themselves, and I don't mean that in a negative way. It's simply none of my business and it shouldn't matter, end of story.


Edit on the glasses/hair/etc women thing:

Every time I come into the office without make up (which is usually only when I know up front that on this day I'm needed in an ISO class manufacturing facility) I get told I look tired. Or sick. Or both. Haha.

[allegro]

Every time I come into the office without make up (which is usually only when I know up front that on this day I'm needed in an ISO class manufacturing facility) I get told I look tired. Or sick. Or both. Haha.

UGH, I hear you.

Now, there's this idea that we're all supposed to wear FALSE EYELASHES, too.

[shade]

False lashes? Must be another Kardashian Circus Trend or something, I don't know. Just as bad as (pardon me) tacky nine inch plastic nails.
Never even followed this microblading trend cause I don't need to look like someone tattooed my eyebrows onto my forehead. It looks really awkward on a lot of women/girls..


I can live without concealer, I age well. But I'm quite vain when it comes to eyelash color. I'm a natural blonde and half vampire, so I dye mine black (now I got Type O Negative playing in my head, thanks Peter.... ) Anyways, my cheat for when I can't wear make up, haha.

I do agree though, it is a strange perception to only consider women as "real" women when there's 2 inches of make up in the face. Or a skirt. Or heels. It gets psycho-tricky in the workplace, try management level with a lot of smart-ass want-to-be-alpha-dudes. You kind of have to be manly enough to survive there, but sometimes it's necessary to take advantage of your female traits and play your cards right. They don't know you play them, you win. Works. I'm jaded and corrupted.

[allegro]

I'm natural blonde, and although my natural hair color is rather dishwater my eyebrows are REALLY LIGHT. If I don't darken them, I look like Marilyn Manson. How do you DYE your lashes? Do you do it yourself???? I’ve had my eyebrows colored, but it doesn’t last long.

[Magnetic]

I'm natural blonde, and although my natural hair color is rather dishwater my eyebrows are REALLY LIGHT. If I don't darken them, I look like Marilyn Manson. How do you DYE your lashes? Do you do it yourself???? I’ve had my eyebrows colored, but it doesn’t last long.

The UK/ Europe are way ahead of the US with dying eyelashes. I was kinda shocked when my SILs were doing this in 2012, which I felt was extreme. I guess if you're born with super blonde eyelashes or eyebrows, it becomes a thing.

My rebellion to women's "standards" is a little weird. I went back to the office full time in May, and I'm one of those weirdos who loves heels/ trousers/ dressed up + makeup. However I had a weird shoulder injury the 2nd week I was going to the office, and I just said "f--- it, I'm not blowing my hair dry to style it." And everyone in the office was cool with my predicament. I'll add that clothing-wise, I'm the most dressed. It's construction-centric, so most people are jeans/ company polo. I'm more sales adjacent, and everyone knows that how I dress is just my jam. Dressed up with messy hair. I really appreciate how I'm just allowed to do my thing.

I think that at the end of the day, I've always been fortunate to work in scenarios where my contribution/ intelligence far outweighs any "window dressing" I might give, and those who employ me know this. I think this is pure luck, as a woman, TBH.

[elevenism]

Our fucking four month old Labrador puppy knocked a bottle of muscle relaxers off of my dresser, and ate them, and died.

We drove a hundred miles an hour to the emergency animal clinic, but it was too late.

[MrLobster]

^^^
Empathy for your loss.

[shade]

Sorry for your loss..that's tragic. Young dogs are even worse than toddlers. They chew up everything

I'm natural blonde, and although my natural hair color is rather dishwater my eyebrows are REALLY LIGHT. If I don't darken them, I look like Marilyn Manson. How do you DYE your lashes? Do you do it yourself???? I’ve had my eyebrows colored, but it doesn’t last long.

Yeah, I do it myself most of the time. Sometimes I'll let my hairstylist take care of it, but since it never lasts longer than ~3-4 weeks, I'll do it myself. Bought the same dye they use, and it works just as fine, only difference is that you can only do one eye at a time, unless you want to end up with the entire shit in your eyes.. which hurts. It's peroxide in there after all.

While my company does not require certain dress code, most people keep it a bit more formal and casual professional.
I think it's also a perception thing again. A manager in 15 year old dirty worn out sneakers is your friend, not your manager.
I stick to black skinny jeans, black blouses, jumpsuits etc. The only thing people commented on was my constant choice of black, but they're used to it now.

[chuckrh]

Our fucking four month old Labrador puppy knocked a bottle of muscle relaxers off of my dresser, and ate them, and died.

We drove a hundred miles an hour to the emergency animal clinic, but it was too late.

Sorry for your loss Tyler

[otnavuskire]

Ugh that's horrifying. I'm so sorry.

[Swykk]

That’s terrible, @elevenism . I’m sorry.

[elevenism]

Thank you guys. I wasn't even NEAR over losing spike, yet, and now this shit.

I didn't think she could REACH the medicines.

I'm still awake, and 1/2 dead.

This bullshit doesn't seem real yet

[Magnetic]

@elevenism That is horrible. I'm so sorry.

[shade]

Hey, don't blame yourself - of course you did not think she could reach those. Otherwise they would not have been there! It was a tragic accident... and accidents happen. And it simply sucks.

(Loving) parents tragically lose their children to laundry detergent ingestion accidents, meanwhile brainless people on the evolutionary level of a potatoe make a challenge out of it on social media. I wish there was a better way of natural selection. Life is a joke.

[Erneuert]

@elevenism - deep condolences. Years ago my mother felt the same guilt about one of our small dogs. He was chewing on a bone and the smallest bit got stuck in his stomach. They removed it but he didn’t make it out of surgery due to a preexisting heart murmur. She felt like she killed him.

Sometimes when I have a shitty day I remind myself of how shitty Alex must have felt in this scene and feel slightly better about myself. The old man gets me every time.

[allegro]

I was telling @elevenism that a friend of mine’s grandchildren had a lab puppy. The parents and kids went out and left the puppy at home, and when they got home they found the puppy dead. He’d found a box of Cheerios and stuck his head into it, then couldn’t get his head out and he suffocated in a box of Cheerios (there is a bag inside each cereal box). The little grandchildren found the puppy like this. This is one big reason why people crate their puppies and dogs while they’re gone or asleep, although animals can do crazy stuff while you’re home and awake.

https://www.avma.org/javma-news/2018...tion-risk-pets

According to 1,354 respondents from 2014-18, 72 percent of dogs or cats suffocated in chip or snack bags, 11 percent in bags for pet food or treats, 6 percent in liners for cereal boxes, and 11 percent in bread bags, plastic containers, or something else.

About 25 percent of the bags or containers had been in or near the garbage, 22 percent on a coffee or side table, 13 percent on the counter, 6 percent outside, 6 percent on the kitchen or dining table, 3 percent in or near the recycling bin, 20 percent in other known locations, and 5 percent in unknown locations.

Thirty-nine percent of respondents were home when the pet suffocated. Of those who were out, 18 percent were gone for less than 15 minutes.

I babysat for a family that had a kitten. They locked the kitten in the bathroom while they went out. When they came back, the kitten was dead. He’d somehow gotten into the vanity under the sink and accidentally hung himself on the P-trap.

[elevenism]

@elevenism - deep condolences. Years ago my mother felt the same guilt about one of our small dogs. He was chewing on a bone and the smallest bit got stuck in his stomach. They removed it but he didn’t make it out of surgery due to a preexisting heart murmur. She felt like she killed him.

Sometimes when I have a shitty day I remind myself of how shitty Alex must have felt in this scene and feel slightly better about myself. The old man gets me every time.

I didn't even watch the clip. But, "TRY the WINE," right?

[marodi]

I am so sorry, @elevenism . Please don't blame yourself. No one can foresee everything. We do our best but accidents still happen.

[Erneuert]

i didn't even watch the clip. But, "try the wine," right?

I’m pleased you appreciate good wine. (Would be in all caps if the forum allowed it).

[elevenism]

Thank you all so much for the condolences.

I haven't even mentioned this on Facebook.

Oddly enough, I spend WAY more time talking to you guys than my old IRL friends.

Thank you for being here, everybody.

[Magnetic]

I hope you and your fam are recovering from the tragedy ok.

[ickyvicky]

I'm so sorry

[elevenism]

So my wife has been throwing up multiple times a day for like a year, and we were worried her hep C had become active, and sure enough: it had. We miraculously managed to.get her the cure, which, yeah, the church literally helped us for part of it.

Anyway, so: she ostensibly no longer has hep C, but is still throwing up.
So we took her for an endoscopy, and she has gastroparesis, which is where food just sits in your stomach longer than it should. In SERIOUS cases, it sits there until you throw it back up, which is what appears to be going on, here.

They took a bunch of biopsies, as it COULD be a virus. That's what we're hoping for.
It could ALSO be a sign of Parkinson's, Crohn's disease, and all manner of other nasty stuff.
And, depending on what's causing it, it could require surgery, or a lifelong puree only diet, etc...again, all manner of unpleasant things.

So, yeah. We should hear back on these biopsies in a couple of days, and, again, whatever it is, hopefully it can be fixed with a medicine or a day surgery, and isn't something worse.

It's just, FUCK. She's been throwing up EVERY DAY for almost a year. She can barely eat. We thought it was just the hep C, and we pulled SO many strings: it was "once we figure out how to get insurance, get the prescription, figure out how to PAY for it, and then you take it for three months, you'll be better."
And she isn't better. Hey, I mean, I'm REALLY glad we caught and stopped the liver disease. But it's just hard to watch your spouse just miserable, throwing up every fucking day for a year, and then, think it's finally over, but it isn't.

[Magnetic]

@elevenism I'm so sorry. I know how the hep c treatment was the holy grail. I hope she gets the right treatment fast.

[Jon]

So we took her for an endoscopy, and she has gastroparesis, which is where food just sits in your stomach longer than it should. In SERIOUS cases, it sits there until you throw it back up, which is what appears to be going on, here.

I had gastroparesis, which eventually led to me having to get a hiatal hernia repaired and a Nissen fundoplication. Food sat at the "bend" in my stomach until I vomited it back up. Mine was caused by excessive alcohol abuse.

This isn't exactly a happy post; I just wanted to let you know there's someone out there that understands having a "shitty" stomach.