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Faceplams: The sounds. OH MY GOD.Originally Posted by tony.parente
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
The sounds. OH MY GOD.
I was nobody. Nothing.
oh, no man. that wouldn't work for us.
i just wish i would have fucked more people when i was single, that's all.
and i wonder why i always felt like i HAD to be in some preternaturally intense relationship from age 14 on.
God is an American
We're all products of our environment.
she/her/hers
i don't know if it's having spent so much time together or something else, but my wife has been CRAZY swirly (that's what we say instead of horny because it sounds more fun) for the last few days. i think we've done it six times since thursday. i'm hoping this trend continues through my birthday next weekend
Active Member
THIS THIS THIS
I remember once how I used to be so confused by the like... "the guy finishes last and if I don't come before that then oh well" mentality prevalent among straights, and now I know it's absolute bullshit. I was just fucking the wrong people. REFRACTORY PERIODS EXIST FOR WOMEN TOO, we're just like socialized to ignore them. Also the amount of butthurt in the comments = heh. Because pausing during sex doesn't happen, I guess? I read the article as "I'd like to stop and recover." and apparently all of the commenters are like HOW DARE YOU IGNORE YOUR PARTNER LITERALLY FOREVER
Also like, hey, that refractory period thing? This is why I am really not about always being the one to come first. Ideally there's a balance there with a partner and both people get to come last and lie on the bed and do nothing sometimes.
Last edited by playwithfire; 12-28-2015 at 09:38 AM.
Stubby Member
The last woman I was with before my wife was like that. She came and had to stop. It was fine by me. I didn't end up cumming until the next night. She offered to make me cum, but I wasn't too interested at the time.
my wife, on the other hand, can orgasm literally all night. The first few nights we were together, we fucked all night long until I had to leave for work. I didn't orgasm until our third night. She's never had a problem needing to take a time out. It's usually on until I finish. Ideally we finish at the same time, but not always.
Active Member
Abolutely.I think it all boils down to a lack of awareness about female anatomy and/or female sexuality
Wat. Really don't like to see it phrased like that. It has more to do with an "Even Steven" mentality when it comes to sexuality than anything else. As far as I'm aware, it's not the 50ies anymore (when it comes to sex anyway) and men are aware of women's needs, even though they're pretty fuzzy on the details and workings of these.It also has a lot to do with male privilege, dominance, and a general lack of fucks to give.
If your man doesn't care if you came and considers that Sex Is Achieved when he did, you have a whole bunch of problems on your hands other than this. To cut it short : Men who don't give a fuck won't give a fuck about that either. The rest isn't necessarily aware that refractory periods are a thing, especially since the fact that "women can chainlink-come all night long" is heavily advertised left and right.
It does and it is. But it's only because men are generally considered to have a longer refractory period, so it's only logical to have them finish last.Society reinforces the idea that sex ends when a man decides or is “finished” himself — and that is just absolute bullshit.
Once again it all boils down to proper communication in a couple. Share, discuss, care.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
I had an experience a couple of months ago with a partner where neither one of us had an orgasm. It was the first time in my sexually active years where that happened, and I felt really bad/guilty about it. This is a partner that I'm bedroom-submissive with, so I think that added to the guilt. If it had just been a vanilla encounter, it still would have bothered me, but not as much as this one did. All my mind kept saying is YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR JOB. Which, logically, I know isn't how it works. But I just couldn't escape that feeling. And he's probably the nicest, most supportive man I've ever been involved with - he's the one who made sure I got home for the holidays and such. He is trying to make me feel better about it to this day. Haha. My brain is fucked.
But yes, men not realizing that women need a minute after an orgasm is very, VERY real. Also, depending on what *type* of orgasm it is, I can need from a minute up to like 5 or 10 minutes. And for some reason, a lot of people equate taking a pause with it ending... Sex breaks are okay!
Throbbing Member
Well, seems I can consider myself lucky to not be with a selfish woman then.
Active Member
I think there are plenty of awesome people who care about their partner's pleasure, but society absolutely sends us all of these messages about orgasm/refractory periods in men vs. women. Like, men are physically less able to have an erection after orgasm, but I think that gets treated as a pass for just generally losing interest in sex after coming as well. And that was totally a point of frustration with me with earlier partners. Then I switched to banging awesome people. I don't think someone's dick is that like... relevant to sex continuing so long as everyone is on the same page. I think pnv being treated as the central act of heterosexual sex vs. a great option depending on what both parties are in the mood for is problematic as hell.
I think the male refractory period is given waaay more weight. I also get turned off after I come, refractory periods are a thing for me, but the general understanding for women is that they keep going (in one way or another, and yes, tons of people think that like tolerating that part of their body still being a part of the action is a standard thing to do), since they typically come first. I think most women learn to keep going after orgasm. And I think all of that as a default is stupid.
Yep! I personally didn't mind the harsh tone of the article because I think it made a point. But people are like OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO SELFISH at her. This is just like... the norm for many humans. Not some special fact.
Last edited by playwithfire; 12-28-2015 at 04:14 PM.
Stubby Member
The sex I had on NYE was so good. That was hot af.
she/her/hers
i've been sick for over a week, so my wife and i haven't even been able to kiss since LAST thursday.
however, last night, we had sex (i was feeling significantly better) to the sounds of The Black Queen and it was...quite something. i recommend anyone who can puts on that album while in the bedroom.
Active Member
Point of order: you've been able to kiss. You've totally been able to. You're just lucky enough to actually be in the same place and have the luxury of saying "yeah, let's be smart about this and try to not spread it around". My lady and I have precious little time together due to our respective jobs, and so over Christmas we were both in bed, sick (me first), and just going for it anyway (her idea). It was pretty laughable in hindsight.
But yeah, I've actually told her that in the future, I'd even like to have a "sick room" where one of us can hibernate and try to keep things contained when we're finally settled down together and not traveling all over.
Last edited by theimage13; 01-31-2016 at 05:08 PM.
Throbbing Member
are keigels, kegels, keeigels, keagels, kaygels, a wives tale or no? sometimes i think they are, but MOST gals and some fellas with ladies swear by them. personally (TMI) i actually don't do them very often and my pussy has been wrecked beyond belief more than once. and i've honestly have had no bad feedback (i'll ask straight, is fucking me like fucking a coffee cup or a bowl of fried rice, or do i have a normal vag?) so what the hell?
Last edited by ldopa; 02-05-2016 at 03:27 AM. Reason: i'm sorry for the vulgarness, it's just whiskey
Active Member
Maybe you don't need to?
Active Member
I think you're just looking at it from the wrong approach. It's not about permanently changing your tightness, it's about having awareness and control of said muscles. My lady paused once and just looked at me with a grin, and before she told me what she was doing I could feel her tightening and releasing. Extremely enjoyable feeling on my end, and since she doesn't do things unless she enjoys them as well, I'm going to go ahead and assume she likes having that type of control.
she/her/hers
my wife has the Lelo Luna Beads (which are their version of kegel balls) and, while they don't get her rocks off while she's got them in (they do for some people, my ex couldn't wear her beads out in public because she would have an orgasm every time she went up or down a flight of stairs), she said it feels "fun" and when she remembers to wear them every day for a while, she definitely notices she has more control and more awareness of her muscles.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
Everything about this post made me laugh.
Throbbing Member
^i know, i'm a twit.
so i'll just keep doing what i do. when i'm peeing i stop and flow a couple times. my fella is cool with my vagina status as far as i know.
i really thought "kegs" (i can't spell, but i feel stupid shortening a word) were for tightening purposes for the most part. i thought being "tight" was pretty important sexually to fellas you're not married to.
they certainly comment on it enough to make you think so.
@theimage13 , i don't like to knowingly have control over a man very much
Last edited by ldopa; 02-07-2016 at 03:45 AM.
Active Member
Kegels are way more legit for your own overall health than anything else. We're all tight enough as it is. There are some really cool (if pricey) devices out there to help with gaining strength though.
I've fucked my muscles up over the years (thanks OCD!) so I'm interested in them more to regain a sense of normalcy than anything else. I used to practice em a long time ago, and had partners notice/comment, I guess. I feel like as sexual skills go that's not going to make a as big of an impact as other things. I'm gonna start practicing at some point.
Also, I'm continuing to get everyone I sleep with to join #TeamHandjobs. HANDJOBS ARE THE GREATEST. "It kind of feels like I'm fucking you." YEAH EXCEPT YOU AREN'T AND THERE'S BASICALLY NO RISK OF STIS AND IT'S GREAT
A dumber thing is I'm trying to figure out my comfort level around unbarriered oral with a male partner of mine. Not sure yet. He gets tested super regularly but he has lots of partners and I don't know if they're all on the same level with that. Bleh. He'll be cool with whatever, at least.
Last edited by playwithfire; 02-07-2016 at 04:33 PM.
Active Member
I often practise handjobs on my cat's tail when I'm in between lays.
Re Member
oh my gods. i just broke my brain laughing at that. totally unexpected. bless you, icklekitty.
Active Member
Hopefully you skip the lube.
she/her/hers
being able to kiss during sex is paramount, for me.
while i was sick for a couple weeks, my wife and i had sex twice (once right at the beginning, once right at the end) but couldn't kiss. i felt disconnected from her, and it was very uncomfortable for me.
one night last week, we got swirly right after she got home from work (which almost never happens, as she's usually in a terrible mood from work and her commute) and got to make out before and during, and it felt so much more intimate and satisfying.
oh, and we also fooled around on saturday after we went out for a breakfast date and then walked around at the lincoln park conservatory (which is beautiful). so it was nice to be able to have sex more than once in a week, for the first time since x-mas.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
The other night, I had sex with someone who I've wanted to fuck for a while.
High five.
Stubby Member
Doing that regularly is actually a good way to weaken your bladder.. just do it while watching TV or brushing your teeth or something. Doing them while peeing is just to help you locate them, once you know which ones to clench there's no need for that.
Banned
So tony visited finally??
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
Tony isn't my type.
Banned
From Libran to Libran, we both know he is both of our type.
Trollhunter
I wish I could like this more. 100%, you win.
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