Trans Rights

[eversonpoe]

[cdm]

Stay strong, my friends!

[eversonpoe]

this is so fucking ridiculous at this point that it's almost funny

almost

[eversonpoe]

the two sides to being trans:

also yeah, today is trans day of visibility, but visibility isn't the issue. i think it's pretty clear at this point that we're seen. the issue is that we want basic respect and decency, not to mention rights.

[eversonpoe]

i have experienced so many microaggressions recently and it's fucking driving me nuts

on friday, the cashier where i was planning to grab lunch called me sir, then tried to deny it instead of apologizing, and i was dressed to the nines with a full face of makeup...

on saturday, while erica and i were out to dinner, a table near us was discussing trans athletes and i heard the phrase "boys who say they're girls" and my blood started to boil...

i'm so sick of dealing with this shit

eta: what the actual fuck...

[snaapz]

Redacted

[decadent]

i have experienced so many microaggressions recently and it's fucking driving me nuts

on friday, the cashier where i was planning to grab lunch called me sir, then tried to deny it instead of apologizing, and i was dressed to the nines with a full face of makeup...

on saturday, while erica and i were out to dinner, a table near us was discussing trans athletes and i heard the phrase "boys who say they're girls" and my blood started to boil...

i'm so sick of dealing with this shit

Don´t you think it is kind hypocritical to ask for more rights but in the same time denying peoples rights to have their own opinion in a private conversation?

[cdm]

Don´t you think it is kind hypocritical to ask for more rights but in the same time denying peoples rights to have their own opinion in a private conversation?

Fuck off with this.

[BRoswell]

Don't focus on the media too much, it will only bring you down. Find a good community or network of friends and like minded people.

I'm not sure what it's like in the US but here in Canada no one really cares if someone is trans, but people are getting sick of having trans rights forced upon them and shoved down their throats, it's starting to have a negative impact.

The community needs to take a stand against the extreme activists who are painting a bad image for transgenders.

A recent video shows a man, who was born a woman, holding their baby telling it "I'm your daddy, you came from my tummy". There's a line and this has crossed it.

I am part of a community (lifestyle/non sexual thing) and we know our limits and we respect the vanilla and general public.

We also have an rule which no one disputes and everyone follows, it's extremely frowned upon to involve people in your fetish/kink without their permission. Forcing someone to call you Mrs against their will and then shaming them for refusing to goes against multiple rules.

It took me a very long time to accept that these lifestyles are branded kink/fetish.

Trans has come so far, take the win and let it rest for a while because at this point the activists are only damaging the image. 100%.

Saying that trans people should just "take the win" when politicians are actively trying to stop them (going so far as to ban drag shows, for fuck's sake) is an utterly idiotic thing to say. Also, I'm pretty sure most trans people don't see being trans as a fetish, so saying that being trans and asking people to respect that is involving them in a fetish against their will is also an incredibly idiotic and ignorant thing to say.

Don´t you think it is kind hypocritical to ask for more rights but in the same time denying peoples rights to have their own opinion in a private conversation?

I mean, unless they got up and yelled at them and said "you're not allowed to say that!", they weren't denying them anything. They just didn't like what they were saying.

[eversonpoe]

Don't focus on the media too much, it will only bring you down. Find a good community or network of friends and like minded people.

I'm not sure what it's like in the US but here in Canada no one really cares if someone is trans, but people are getting sick of having trans rights forced upon them and shoved down their throats, it's starting to have a negative impact.

The community needs to take a stand against the extreme activists who are painting a bad image for transgenders.

A recent video shows a man, who was born a woman, holding their baby telling it "I'm your daddy, you came from my tummy". There's a line and this has crossed it.

I am part of a community (lifestyle/non sexual thing) and we know our limits and we respect the vanilla and general public.

We also have an rule which no one disputes and everyone follows, it's extremely frowned upon to involve people in your fetish/kink without their permission. Forcing someone to call you Mrs against their will and then shaming them for refusing to goes against multiple rules.

It took me a very long time to accept that these lifestyles are branded kink/fetish.

Trans has come so far, take the win and let it rest for a while because at this point the activists are only damaging the image. 100%.

being trans is not a fetish, and the fact that you see it as such means you have a fundamental misunderstanding. there's nothing inherently sexual about being trans, and it doesn't affect anyone negatively in any way.

i literally just want to EXIST, how and why does that affect anyone negatively? i'm not FORCING anyone to do anything. i'm ASKING for basic rights and respect and if that's offensive to you, you need to examine your privilege and question WHY.

also "transgenders"? are you kidding me? transgender people.

Don´t you think it is kind hypocritical to ask for more rights but in the same time denying peoples rights to have their own opinion in a private conversation?

1) having a conversation in a restaurant is in no way private

2) "more rights"? i'm asking for the SAME RIGHTS that most people already have.

3) their "opinion" is invalidating to my identity and my existence, despite my existence not affecting them negatively

4) if you don't know anything about hormone replacement therapy, the debates about trans athletes are ridiculous. being on HRT puts trans women on par with cis women, trans men on par with cis men, in terms of hormone levels, strength, etc.

why are either of you in here telling me how to live my life? i'm not telling you how to live yours.

[Toadflax]

Forcing someone to call you Mrs against their will and then shaming them for refusing to goes against multiple rules.

This is like saying asking people to call you Hank when your given name is Henry is forcing your fetish on them. It's just asking people to respect how you identify, simple as that. No one is saying, "I'd prefer if you called me 'miss' and also watched while my partner and I pee on each other while wearing buffalo masks."

[snaapz]

Kink/Fetish and BSDM and different things, don't get them mixed up.

A fetish is an extremely strong devotion to something. There are sexual fetishes and nonsexual fetishes: both are obsessive interests.

Let me ask you this then, what basic rights are you seeking? And I am not in here telling you how to live your life, you started this thread and I am eager to have a good conversation, I know more about these things than you can imagine and have had years of community involvement and excellent insight. I am not trans or cis or anything of that nature.

I know, for a fact, that media is fucking everything up and things are getting out of hand.

[Wretchedest]

I am not trans or cis or anything of that nature.

This is the segment of your post that reveals you are unwilling to undergo the basic education that would be required to participate in this conversation.

[Toadflax]

This is the segment of your post that reveals you are unwilling to undergo the basic education that would be required to participate in this conversation.

Thank you. I was very confused by this statement.

[snaapz]

This is like saying asking people to call you Hank when your given name is Henry is forcing your fetish on them. It's just asking people to respect how you identify, simple as that. No one is saying, "I'd prefer if you called me 'miss' and also watched while my partner and I pee on each other while wearing buffalo masks."

Names are not gender identifiers, so Hank, Henry, Kim, Sarah, Peter are different than Mr, Mrs, Ms, Him, Her.

This is the segment of your post that reveals you are unwilling to undergo the basic education that would be required to participate in this conversation.

That's not true and that's extremely hurtful. I'll say it once again, I am very involved in the community. I contribute, I participate, I listen, and I have learned a lot and I have also contributed over the past several years.

I am not bashing or humiliating anyone here but I am on the receiving end, what exactly have I said to offend anyone?

These conversations can be difficult but also civil.

[eversonpoe]

Kink/Fetish and BSDM and different things, don't get them mixed up.

A fetish is an extremely strong devotion to something. There are sexual fetishes and nonsexual fetishes: both are obsessive interests.

Let me ask you this then, what basic rights are you seeking? And I am not in here telling you how to live your life, you started this thread and I am eager to have a good conversation, I know more about these things than you can imagine and have had years of community involvement and excellent insight. I am not trans or cis or anything of that nature.

I know, for a fact, that media is fucking everything up and things are getting out of hand.

being trans is not a kink or fetish; it's not an "obsessive interest"; it's an identity, just like being a cis man or woman. there's nothing SEXUAL about it, nor is it a non-sexual fetish. gender and sexuality are different!

also, bdsm falls under the kink/fetish umbrella. i'm also part of that community, and i would never force that upon someone without consent, because it IS inherently sexual.

also, if you're not trans, you're cis. cisgender means that you identify with the gender assigned to you at birth. so if you were declared "male" upon being born and you still consider yourself as such, you are cis.

it's not the media fucking everything up, it's politicians who are LITERALLY CALLING US DEMONS and advocating for our extermination because of their precious attachment to religion and the status quo.

and you ARE in here telling me how to live my life. you're telling me to "take the win" and minimizing the struggles and fear i face every day. i literally get harassed by at least one person EVERY SINGLE DAY while out in the world, simply for existing as myself.

people say they're trying to "protect children" and yet they're trying to deny children gender-affirming care (which is often life-saving), and then their masks come off and they start spouting genocidal rhetoric, which makes their actual agenda very clear.

what basic rights am i seeking? gender-affirming care, respect, and safety. that's it. how does ANY of that affect ANYONE negatively? to make a very reductive metaphor - it's not like there's a pie where if i get a slice, it takes something away from anyone else. the pie gets bigger to allow for that.

[eversonpoe]

Names are not gender identifiers, so Hank, Henry, Kim, Sarah, Peter are different than Mr, Mrs, Ms, Him, Her.

That's not true and that's extremely hurtful. I'll say it once again, I am very involved in the community. I contribute, I participate, I listen, and I have learned a lot and I have also contributed over the past several years.

I am not bashing or humiliating anyone here but I am on the receiving end, what exactly have I said to offend anyone?

These conversations can be difficult but also civil.

names and pronouns ARE different, yes! but HOW DOES IT AFFECT ANYONE NEGATIVELY TO CALL SOMEONE WHAT THEY WANT TO BE CALLED? asking someone to call you hank instead of henry is very much the same, linguistically speaking, as asking someone to refer to you with masculine pronouns.

you've said MULTIPLE things to offend me in here and i have been continuously addressing them.

what is YOUR investment in this? if you're not trans, why are you in here? how does this affect you in any way?

[cdm]

That's not true and that's extremely hurtful. I'll say it once again, I am very involved in the community. I contribute, I participate, I listen, and I have learned a lot and I have also contributed over the past several years.

I am not bashing or humiliating anyone here but I am on the receiving end, what exactly have I said to offend anyone?

These conversations can be difficult but also civil.

It's really hard to take you seriously based on what you've said here, specifically derogatory terminology and phraseology.

[snaapz]

being trans is not a kink or fetish; it's not an "obsessive interest"; it's an identity, just like being a cis man or woman. there's nothing SEXUAL about it, nor is it a non-sexual fetish. gender and sexuality are different!

also, bdsm falls under the kink/fetish umbrella. i'm also part of that community, and i would never force that upon someone without consent, because it IS inherently sexual.

also, if you're not trans, you're cis. cisgender means that you identify with the gender assigned to you at birth. so if you were declared "male" upon being born and you still consider yourself as such, you are cis.

it's not the media fucking everything up, it's politicians who are LITERALLY CALLING US DEMONS and advocating for our extermination because of their precious attachment to religion and the status quo.

and you ARE in here telling me how to live my life. you're telling me to "take the win" and minimizing the struggles and fear i face every day. i literally get harassed by at least one person EVERY SINGLE DAY while out in the world, simply for existing as myself.

people say they're trying to "protect children" and yet they're trying to deny children gender-affirming care (which is often life-saving), and then their masks come off and they start spouting genocidal rhetoric, which makes their actual agenda very clear.

what basic rights am i seeking? gender-affirming care, respect, and safety. that's it. how does ANY of that affect ANYONE negatively? to make a very reductive metaphor - it's not like there's a pie where if i get a slice, it takes something away from anyone else. the pie gets bigger to allow for that.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It's true that the situation is becoming heated in the US and Republicans seem to be reversing progress and in some cases making things worse than ever before, some of this is fueled by some of the extreme things we see in media, Dylan Mulvaney is a good example. It's not the government lashing back, its the people. This can be proven and measured by the response we are witnessing. The community needs to realize and acknowledge that things are heated right now and the best thing to do is not add fuel to the fire and reexamine things. I'm not the first to bring up the word fetish and I will not be the last. A good portion of the population thinks that trans is just a fetish, so the community needs to have healthy discussions on the topic to better understand how it can be addressed and handled.

I'm not telling anyone how to live their lives, be happy with who you are and rock it! I know how fulfilling it is to be yourself and that feeling of looking in the mirror and thinking "this is me". Confidence, security, empowerment, and calmness all at once

As for take the win, you cannot ignore how far trans has come these past few years. It is an accomplishment and there's more work to be done, but the community needs to work with the general population and realize that we must meet in the middle on some things.

The world is not ready for men giving birth and telling the child "I'm your dad, you came from my tummy". So this is what I mean by slow down or else we face major backlash.

[snaapz]

It's really hard to take you seriously based on what you've said here, specifically derogatory terminology and phraseology.

Can you elaborate?

[Wretchedest]

Names are not gender identifiers, so Hank, Henry, Kim, Sarah, Peter are different than Mr, Mrs, Ms, Him, Her.




That's not true and that's extremely hurtful. I'll say it once again, I am very involved in the community. I contribute, I participate, I listen, and I have learned a lot and I have also contributed over the past several years.

I am not bashing or humiliating anyone here but I am on the receiving end, what exactly have I said to offend anyone?

These conversations can be difficult but also civil.

This is just a factual statement: what I quoted is nonsense and reveals you don't fundamentally understand the terms you were using. When you start throwing around vocabulary in a way that makes it clear that you don't even know what those words mean, it makes it very difficult to take you seriously. It also reveals that you haven't put in real effort to understand the issue, because understanding just some of the basic vocabulary is one of the easier parts.

[eversonpoe]

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. It's true that the situation is becoming heated in the US and Republicans seem to be reversing progress and in some cases making things worse than ever before, some of this is fueled by some of the extreme things we see in media, Dylan Mulvaney is a good example. It's not the government lashing back, its the people. This can be proven and measured by the response we are witnessing. The community needs to realize and acknowledge that things are heated right now and the best thing to do is not add fuel to the fire and reexamine things. I'm not the first to bring up the word fetish and I will not be the last. A good portion of the population thinks that trans is just a fetish, so the community needs to have healthy discussions on the topic to better understand how it can be addressed and handled.

I'm not telling anyone how to live their lives, be happy with who you are and rock it! I know how fulfilling it is to be yourself and that feeling of looking in the mirror and thinking "this is me". Confidence, security, empowerment, and calmness all at once

As for take the win, you cannot ignore how far trans has come these past few years. It is an accomplishment and there's more work to be done, but the community needs to work with the general population and realize that we must meet in the middle on some things.

The world is not ready for men giving birth and telling the child "I'm your dad, you came from my tummy". So this is what I mean by slow down or else we face major backlash.

you literally just keep espousing the same points over and over and you're not listening to me.

i'm done with this conversation. please leave this thread. i made this to talk about my frustrations with how the world treats trans people and you're coming in here and arguing with me ABOUT MY EXISTENCE.

[Toadflax]

snaapz:

it's extremely frowned upon to involve people in your fetish/kink without their permission.

also snaapz:

A good portion of the population thinks that trans is just a fetish

snaapz:

Don't focus on the media

take the win

let it rest

also snaapz:

I'm not telling anyone how to live their lives

[eversonpoe]

I am not bashing or humiliating anyone here but I am on the receiving end

also, just want to specifically address this - no one is bashing or humiliating you, and if you think that the valid criticisms that we're throwing at you are bashing or humiliating, try being a trans person for even half a day out in the world. you have no idea what you're talking about and that in itself offends me.

[Wretchedest]

Also, Snaapz, I see that you are posturing as if to try and understand or "solve" these concepts through debate and conversation, which is ridiculous because *these are all known quantities.* All you have to do is listen to people who actually have these experiences and identities, and try and read up on the many decades of research and information on these topics.

[Toadflax]

I am not trans or cis or anything of that nature.

Because you seem to be missing why everyone is cringing at this, let me explain.

You seem to not understand that "cis" means identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth. So unless you're non-binary and just haven't mentioned that yet, you are in fact cis.

Furthermore, if you thought cis meant some other "alternative" way to identify, the language you used here feels dismissive. "I'm not trans or cis or anything of that nature" sounds like, "I'm not one of those." I'm sure you didn't intend it that way, but it's a really bad look to 1) say you know so much about this topic, 2) seemingly misuse a very common word surrounding the topic, and 3) use othering language to separate yourself from people you are claiming to respect.

[snaapz]

I'll leave, sorry for poking my head in this thread. Like I said, rock it and be you!


As for the word fetish, it's not some forbidden word I said; it's a real topic of discussion. It's a fact, a lot of people view it as a fetish; some trans even view it as a fetish while others do not.

https://www.transgenderpulse.com/for...&sortby=newest

[cdm]

Can you elaborate?

...but people are getting sick of having trans rights forced upon them and shoved down their throats...

...transgenders.

Forcing someone to call you Mrs against their will...

I mean come on.

[decadent]

1) having a conversation in a restaurant is in no way private

2) "more rights"? i'm asking for the SAME RIGHTS that most people already have.

3) their "opinion" is invalidating to my identity and my existence, despite my existence not affecting them negatively

4) if you don't know anything about hormone replacement therapy, the debates about trans athletes are ridiculous. being on HRT puts trans women on par with cis women, trans men on par with cis men, in terms of hormone levels, strength, etc.

why are either of you in here telling me how to live my life? i'm not telling you how to live yours.

Noone is telling you how to live your life, I just meant that you shouldnt try to tell other people, in this case someone in a restaurant having a conversation between them, how to live theirs. If they want to discuss the problem with trans athletes in sports that is their right, don´t you think?

You said you had microagressions - how is a conversation between two people that don´t know you and are not even talking about you (I assume you are not a competing athlete) an agression?

Sorry but all the hormones in the world won´t change the fact that a trans woman twice the size and probably twice the muscular mass of a woman has an advantage. So a discussion about that can be had without having it interpreted as an agression, especially when it is not about you.

[Wretchedest]

Noone is telling you how to live your life, I just meant that you shouldnt try to tell other people, in this case someone in a restaurant having a conversation between them, how to live theirs. If they want to discuss the problem with trans athletes in sports that is their right, don´t you think?

You said you had microagressions - how is a conversation between two people that don´t know you and are not even talking about you (I assume you are not a competing athlete) an agression?

Sorry but all the hormones in the world won´t change the fact that a trans woman twice the size and probably twice the muscular mass of a woman has an advantage. So a discussion about that can be had without having it interpreted as an agression, especially when it is not about you.

It is inconceivably stupid to me that you are conflating their anger with a conversation they experienced in public with an attempt to deny the people having that conversation their rights. I can't even wrap my head around that. That's not a fucking rights issue. What is a rights issue is the ability to exist in a public place safely without having to listen to people talk about them an endangering way.

The word "rights" pertains to legal issues and legal issues only. Let's be real fucking clear about that. No one is suggesting that the offending diners be tossed in prison or fined, but perhaps ejected from a private establishment by well meaning owners.

Also sports is a mode of recreation. Sports do not matter. It's so childish that you people act like sports are a *real issue.* It's a childish game. You guys think that there's some meta game shift where men are transitioning to win at a stupid game? Do you listen to yourselves??? How do you even put your shoes on?