Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
I've been running through that... I was running through it with my ex... fuck I'm exhausted.

They all said they accepted insurance and then it was like "but not that one" You don't fucking accept Blue Shield? What do I need? and the problem wasn't even that. even without coverage I paid for it, and these doctors SUCK. They're fucking terrible.

today... I think I am in line for her to scream at me for something. I don't know what it is. I don't know why I call. I'm going insane. I COULD just run away. I COULD be that asshole who just says "fuck this" and runs away. AND I'M NOT. I've actually told her flat out that I don't think this is going to work as much as I wished it would, and she is saying I'm wrong don't think that way and...

Kill me.
i think you absolutely need to cut off all communication with her for a while. don't give in to temptation. wounds are still way too fresh to have any kind of productive dialogue; all you're doing is hurting each other (mostly her hurting you) and with how you're feeling right now, you need to protect yourself from that shit.

i have BCBS but my psychiatrist doesn't take it. that's why i recommended a therapist. you're unlikely to be able to see a psychiatrist without first talking to a therapist, anyway. my psychiatrist is basically there for the "big picture" and to make sure my meds are working properly. my therapist is there to talk to every week about all of the little things. find a therapist; worry about medication later.