The Friendship Thread

[Halo Infinity]

I just wanted to ask these questions before I forget to do so.

Do flakes ever actually tell you to at least try to be flexible? Do they find the idea of being punctual far too rigid and stress-inducing to the point that they'd rather have you wait and search for them all the time, as well as to just accept their erratic timing and overall lateness or even absence out of their definition of flexibility?

Do flakes also seem to complain and get irritable and aggravated when they don't always get to have you wait and search for them even if you haven't necessarily gotten into their faces about being late and/or absent?

Do flakes also try to act and even claim that there's always an emergency when there clearly aren't any, sometimes even going to the extent of asking what if there was one?

@ManBurning - I also had my share of flakes as well. Mostly from my teen years to my mid 20s. I also wondered if you also heard them have these reactions and excuses. I feel like I've heard it all as well, and I certainly feel your pain.

On the other hand, I could understand people being put into an awkward position when they're invited to something they're not interested in, but one can only say, "I don't know.", "Maybe." and "I'm not sure." so many times, even if it's more diplomatic and polite/tactful than a blatant no/rejection to said invitations. At this point, I'd rather take "Something came up..." above all of them, which is to me, even better than saying "I'll pass.", even though I have appreciated that type of honest response as well.

This has at the very least taught me that it should be something they're absolutely interested in and would love to do with others, but it's not always easy or even impossible to know sometimes.

And yes, shit happens, but not every single day. If anything, it also taught me that even if I was cool with somebody or a group of people that like or even love me, their cancellations or lack of effort can also be proof that they just moved on the other things, places and people.

And it's yet another reason for one to end up alone even when they actually aren't isolating themselves or pushing others away intentionally. As if there also weren't already more than enough reasons and causes to end up alone without even trying.

As I've said several times, I still sometimes miss how easy it was to hang out with friends as a child and a teenager, when all I needed to do was just find the the right weekends and vacations to play Nintendo. I wouldn't do it anywhere near as much as if I had the chance, but I'd be lying if I claimed that I don't miss those things at all.

I know there's always exceptions, but I think it really is true that like with other things, making and keeping friends certainly gets harder as you age, with a lot more variables than we can spot in face value. You just said it in the best way possible in my opinion, so I don't have that much more to add to that, but it certainly helped me understand why some older people end up alone, even if it's not their own doing.

With all that being said, I'd feel terrible flaking on a friend, especially a close friend.

But such is life at the same time, people change and grow apart. It's still inevitable.