Faceplams Faceplams:  0
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1 2 3 4 LastLast
Results 61 to 90 of 118

Thread: Sober - However you got there, whatever keeps you here.

  1. #61
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Somerset, UK
    Posts
    976
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Sutekh View Post
    I never drink during the day and rarely drink during the week

    I remember before I quit I would think "well, I can't be that bad, I never drink on work days" but then after I quit I read somewhere that that's one of those silly things that alcoholics tell themselves to convince themselves they don't have a problem. "I never drink before 5 and if I was an alcoholic I'd be drinking all the time, so I MUST be ok". It's interesting how we can do things like that.


    Anyway, I'm glad you've realised and are going to do something about it

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,693
    Mentioned
    31 Post(s)
    Cheers mate! Yeah it's a case of... well whatever the term for what I'm doing is, it certainly isn't a long term strategy for happiness or survival. Pretty embarrassing it's come to this, but that's life

    I am wondering how I'm going to fill the time and whether I'll enjoy stuff as much (I have never been to a concert sober - ever), but I look so terrible and the surgery was so painful for so long afterwards that im not actually worried. There's no doubt in my mind

    I can still smoke at least, so my life isn't buzz free

    How long ago did you quit? Did you notice any big changes? I've only been quit a short while and already I feel so much less tired

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Dela-where?
    Posts
    849
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Sutekh View Post
    Drinking myself stupid for about ten years, mostly at weekends but recently I've been about to put away 6-8 pints of an evening and not feel that drunk.
    That was my situation entirely, though it got to the point some weeknights - maybe 1-2, but enough - I'd be up until about 1 AM with roommates at the time and we'd kill a 30 pack between 3 of us and some fireball, jager or other sort of spirit.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sutekh View Post
    I never drink during the day and rarely drink during the week, but it's begun to creep in during the evenings. I don't get withdrawal so thankfully I'm not at the all or nothing stage yet, not what would conventionally be described as alcoholic, but I've just decided to count myself lucky and draw a line under it before it gets any more serious.
    I was the same way, except for one time I decided to have a beer with lunch while in grad school. I had some pounders of Molson Canadian, and decided to have JUST ONE with lunch. That turned into killing 4 within an hour and catching a solid buzz before showing up to work. While I was coaching, an assistant said "do you smell booze?" and I tried to play it off on one of my athletes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sutekh View Post
    Going to fully stop until I start to look better, after that strictly limit it to special occasions, if that.
    Man I thought the same thing. I'm 4 years sober now and don't want to even jeopardize my time. I'm at a point where the craving is gone and the impulse quickly subsides. #blessed
    Quote Originally Posted by Sutekh View Post
    Only been about a week by I have to say I kind of feel relieved just for finally admitting it and resolving to do something
    Keep going a day at a time! You've got this!

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,693
    Mentioned
    31 Post(s)
    Many thanks guys... got a big hurdle on the horizon, Xmas dinner with my Irish family where they start drinking with breakfast and carry on into the small hours. Going to say I'm on heavy antibiotics for a wisdom tooth and leave immediately after dinner, lol

    Thanks again for the encouragement, I don't breathe a word of this to anyone IRL so it's reassuring to hear of similar situations - especially ones going so well

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Somerset, UK
    Posts
    976
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Sutekh View Post

    I am wondering how I'm going to fill the time and whether I'll enjoy stuff as much (I have never been to a concert sober - ever), but I look so terrible and the surgery was so painful for so long afterwards that im not actually worried. There's no doubt in my mind

    ...

    How long ago did you quit? Did you notice any big changes? I've only been quit a short while and already I feel so much less tired
    I find that I enjoy pretty much everything I do more now. I had to change the way I socialise, but I've made a real effort to still hang around with the same people (I just leave a party before everyone starts repeating themselves over and over). My friends are the most supportive people ever and there's never any shortage of tipsy people telling my how well I've done, they all saw how bad I was so they always mention the great change in me.

    It's worth noting that going to parties sober and seeing all the drunk people is a great way to remind yourself why you quit

    I do more active things nowadays and when I go somewhere I go to that place to see that place, rather than to have a quick look and then find the local pub.

    I've been sober for 3 years and 2 months

  6. #66
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Dela-where?
    Posts
    849
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    I feel your pain! I was stressed to the max before my first thanksgiving dinner with my now in-laws. I shared at an AA meeting how nervous I was. In my head, I was freaking out - how do I tell her family that I'm a recovering alcoholic with two DUI's on my record? An old timer eloquently and effectively shut me up. Paraphrasing here, but he said "You don't have to tell them a fucking thing. They don't have to know shit." I laughed, and he expanded. "You mean to tell me you think that man whose daughter you're dating is going to be UPSET that you DON'T drink? He doesn't give a shit. Nobody gives a shit that you don't drink."

    It was reassuring and true. I lied and said I was training for a triathlon. They now know all of my story, but at that time, and still, nobody cares. My first wedding sober was tough, too. It was a good friend of mine from my beach patrol days; we would get shitty EVERY night and sweat it out in the morning. It was somewhat awkward at first, but by the end of the night, it was a non-factor. I spent my entire wedding sober and sang "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" to my wife (and entire wedding of about 175 people) with the band.

    Concerts, weddings, holiday parties are easier - the little twinge of "outsider" still kicks in before an event, but once it's on, NOBODY CARES! The more you do things sober, the more you realize you don't NEEED that shit in your life. It's crazy the stories we manufacture about reality, and how alcohol can co-opt them so quickly and effectively.

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Somerset, UK
    Posts
    976
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by the duder View Post

    Concerts, weddings, holiday parties are easier - the little twinge of "outsider" still kicks in before an event, but once it's on, NOBODY CARES! .

    This is so true. Drunk people don't care if you're sober, they'll talk to you just the same. And talking to drunk people when you're sober is really, really easy.

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois
    Posts
    9,845
    Mentioned
    454 Post(s)
    my wife and i decided a few months ago that after my b-day party that was this past saturday, we were gonna take a break from drinking for the foreseeable future. of course, we have a bunch of booze leftover from the party (plus a nice bottle of gin i had bought for us that we didn't end up drinking before the party), so i'm glad we're having some people over on friday for Friday The 13th Part 3 in 3-D and we'll be able to unload it on them.

    neither of us have a drinking problem, but we both want to be a little healthier, lose a little weight, and save a little money. we tend to drink about 2-4 nights per week (pretty much always at home), and we snack A LOT when we have drinks (to keep us from getting hangovers), so this will definitely help with our goals. i'll miss tasty drinks but i think it'll be worth it.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Republic of Texas
    Posts
    6,834
    Mentioned
    476 Post(s)
    You guys know about my drinking; i have talked about it TOO much.

    At any rate a few months ago i thought i had like "outgrown" alcoholism and started keeping wine at the house. At first it was a couple of glasses now and then, then a couple of glasses every night. But i was all proud of myself and shit.
    Then all of the fucking sudden i found myself drunk off that wine 24-7 and NEEDING to run to the fucking store for more and having to have a big glass the second i woke up.
    It all collapsed in epic fashion when i had to go to a drs appointment. I drank all night and slept for like 4 hours (i was still drunk and didn't know it.) I was out of pain medicine and wanted to feel okay for the 180 mile round trip to the dr so i took a bunch of xanax, and while i was getting ready, i fucking PASSED OUT. Like sitting there in the chair, with my wife and mother screaming at me, and i couldn't respond and couldn't move and felt like i was like flying around. I missed my fucking appointment.
    I was afraid this was my spirit trying to leave my body, but they said my respirations were okay and everything. But this shit, oh god y'all.
    I was only full fledged drunk all the time for like 10 days, but it was obviously a nasty slip.

    I went through AWFUL withdrawals, but all i could keep thinking was that those withdrawals were NOTHING compared to what the liquor withdrawals and seizures and shit were like in the old days. I remembered how much worse it could get.

    That was like a month ago. I haven't had any desire for a drink since then.
    I had started doubting AA and thinking that i COULD drink again, but it turns out that i was wrong.
    Now i am going to attempt to not ever drink again, because if i ever got back to where i was with the vodka, i would fucking kill myself.

    There are no AA meetings in this town. They just started an NA meeting, but how the fuck i'm gonna join NA while taking such strong opiates for my back? I would feel like a total fucking fraud, plus, if you don't know, NA uses a totally different text than AA so i couldn't just mentally substitute narcotics for alcohol when they say narcotics. That AA book is pretty much my religion. I wish there was a fucking meeting here, but still, since that slip, so far so good.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Republic of Texas
    Posts
    6,834
    Mentioned
    476 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Sesquipedalism View Post
    I did not think such a town existed in the United States.
    Alas, it does.
    I spent most of my life in the big D, but after a series of unfortunate events, wound up in my ancestral home of Stratford, Tx, population 2017.

  11. #71
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Indianapolis, IN
    Posts
    1,538
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    my wife and i decided a few months ago that after my b-day party that was this past saturday, we were gonna take a break from drinking for the foreseeable future. of course, we have a bunch of booze leftover from the party (plus a nice bottle of gin i had bought for us that we didn't end up drinking before the party), so i'm glad we're having some people over on friday for Friday The 13th Part 3 in 3-D and we'll be able to unload it on them.

    neither of us have a drinking problem, but we both want to be a little healthier, lose a little weight, and save a little money. we tend to drink about 2-4 nights per week (pretty much always at home), and we snack A LOT when we have drinks (to keep us from getting hangovers), so this will definitely help with our goals. i'll miss tasty drinks but i think it'll be worth it.
    My wife and I gave up drinking last year for pretty much these exact reasons. This Saturday it will be a year since I've had any alcohol and I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in. (Obviously not from just kicking booze, but eating better and exercising as well.)

  12. #72
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois
    Posts
    9,845
    Mentioned
    454 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Archive_Reports View Post
    My wife and I gave up drinking last year for pretty much these exact reasons. This Saturday it will be a year since I've had any alcohol and I'm probably in the best shape I've ever been in. (Obviously not from just kicking booze, but eating better and exercising as well.)
    ugh, come help me exercise. i'm so bad at staying motivated because i can hardly find time to exercise : /

  13. #73
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Indianapolis, IN
    Posts
    1,538
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    ugh, come help me exercise. i'm so bad at staying motivated because i can hardly find time to exercise : /
    I found it was easier to stick to it at the beginning if we went together and held each other accountable. Once I got into a routine of doing X activity on X day, it became second nature. Now I feel guilty if I don't go for whatever reason.

    I absolutely despise working out (cardio, lifting, whatever) so I'm not one of those people that finds peace in it. I just wanted to look better and (hopefully) not die at 50.

  14. #74
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois
    Posts
    9,845
    Mentioned
    454 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Archive_Reports View Post
    I found it was easier to stick to it at the beginning if we went together and held each other accountable. Once I got into a routine of doing X activity on X day, it became second nature. Now I feel guilty if I don't go for whatever reason.

    I absolutely despise working out (cardio, lifting, whatever) so I'm not one of those people that finds peace in it. I just wanted to look better and (hopefully) not die at 50.
    i can't go to a gym, i have to do it at home. there's something about the idea of exercising in front of a bunch of people that just fills me with dread.

    i know it's only been a few days, but i haven't once felt an urge for like "eh, a drink would be nice" so i'm off to a good start. i think having a firm cut-off date was a really good idea.

  15. #75
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Indianapolis, IN
    Posts
    1,538
    Mentioned
    16 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    i can't go to a gym, i have to do it at home. there's something about the idea of exercising in front of a bunch of people that just fills me with dread.
    Yeah, I get rushes of anxiety at times when I'm there. The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do around the house (I have done curls and head crushers with musical equipment in a pinch) if you don't want to gym it up.

  16. #76
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Republic of Texas
    Posts
    6,834
    Mentioned
    476 Post(s)
    @Sesquipedalism , you described some truly prodigious drinking.

    When you quit, did you not shake? Hallucinate?

  17. #77
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Republic of Texas
    Posts
    6,834
    Mentioned
    476 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Sesquipedalism View Post
    No, neither. I was as prepared as I could be for the worst and nothing happened. Which was somehow pretty worrying in and of itself.
    Amazing.
    I shook VIOLENTLY, had a few seizures and bouts with hallucination

  18. #78
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    326
    Mentioned
    8 Post(s)
    I'm addicted to the worst of the worst and I need to get clean within the next 3 weeks. It's going to be a bitch physically and mentally. I'm so not ready. But it's time.

  19. #79
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Dela-where?
    Posts
    849
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Corona - start ASAP if you haven't. Find resources or groups of likeminded others. Get phone numbers. Call someone who's clean every day to check in. Pulling for you.

  20. #80
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    933
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    So, I am sober for a year and 7 months (I am a "quartal" alcoholic, sober for several months then drinking to death for a few days alone not going to work or picking up phone or anything, various methods of escape), plan to keep it up, and it's - dare I say - easy, probably also thanks to a community I am visiting each Thursday. But I'll stop going there.

    I want to be part of something, where people are geuinely trying to help, to listen, and to talk, and understand. But here, nowadays there are maybe 60 people, and half of them I don't want there - relatives which I can't trust, clients currently being there I can't trust, and what's the worst, this depends on who is doing the "show" on that day. Sometimes it's about 20 people and cool, but when the best entertainer :-) is doing the "show", crowded. Good for them (relatives, clients) if this works for them, keep it up, but I don't want to be part of the show where people go depending on who is the main act.

    Also a detail, they're charging my insurance without ever telling me about that, which is not exactly big problem (health insurance here is cheap and no-one will ever complain about these charges to me, as they should not). Once I asked where are all the money because we should get nicer place for that, that didn't go very well neither... ;-)

    Anyway, I found different group and will check how it works there. It wouldn't be smart to just stop going completely. I like how "comfortably boring" (my term) my life is now. :-)

  21. #81
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Dela-where?
    Posts
    849
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Substance242 View Post
    I want to be part of something, where people are geuinely trying to help, to listen, and to talk, and understand. But here, nowadays there are maybe 60 people, and half of them I don't want there - relatives which I can't trust, clients currently being there I can't trust, and what's the worst, this depends on who is doing the "show" on that day. Sometimes it's about 20 people and cool, but when the best entertainer :-) is doing the "show", crowded. Good for them (relatives, clients) if this works for them, keep it up, but I don't want to be part of the show where people go depending on who is the main act.

    Anyway, I found different group and will check how it works there. It wouldn't be smart to just stop going completely. I like how "comfortably boring" (my term) my life is now. :-)
    Yeah I hear you on the challenge of finding the right group, and good on you for recognizing that stopping going completely is a bad idea. I had a bit of a struggle moving from Buffalo (where I first got sober) to rural Delaware. It's a small town vibe down here, where everyone knows everyone elses' business. Luckily, I've got a great co-worker who has over two decades of sobriety to talk with during my planning period. He's retiring next month, which is a bummer, but we plan on meeting regularly. For me, it works.

    Also - yesterday was my 5 year anniversary. Feeling good about how far I've come and where I'm at in life. "Comfortably boring" is not bad at all!

  22. #82
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Swansea, UK
    Posts
    42
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    I'm now 14 months sober, I reached that point where instead of things being fun, I could see more negatives.

    I had a big wake up call on a camping trip over summer last year, after taking too much MDMA any one person should ever take in one night, After laying down for a good while when others slept, I went to answer natures call, walked to a river bank, but I just stood there and blacked out, came around after hitting my head on a tree (luckily hitting that and not falling down the bank into the river)
    passed out a good number of times trying to get back to the tent.
    Two weeks later I took Acid and it was a night of bad craziness, everything had become ugly on it, I felt that my relationship with drugs had completely changed.
    From that day I swore to stay sober and have not looked back since.

    A month or so after I applied to be a bus driver, done my training and started that as a new job, to get my highs these days means running to the time table and hiking in the mountains on my days off.

  23. #83
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    933
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    So, 2017 was first sober calendar year for me since... I don't know, it's quite normal here to offer some alcohol to pretty young children, you know, just a sip won't kill him, right?

    I am joking that since nearest shop is 2 km away, I'm too fucking lazy to carry some heavy bottles all the way. :-) It feels quite easy and thankfully I don't have big cravings, but I know very well that the monster is still inside me, waiting patiently for me to slip... so I'll keep going to the meetings and be careful.

  24. #84
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    933
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    ...and I am sober for 1000 days tomorrow, yay! Is my life amazing now? Absolutely not! ;-) But still worth it.

  25. #85
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,511
    Mentioned
    33 Post(s)
    Wow. 1000 days. It's tough to top that.

    The last few years, I had notice my alcohol use getting a little out of control. When I moved to Colorado, I said to myself that I would try to wean myself off of it especially considering I was moving in with my girlfriend and her daughter, so it was time to be more responsible. Well, that didn't exactly go to plan. I still drank here and there. It was okay for a while, but then one night I just must have lost control. I don't remember what happened since I blacked out. Apparently I said some really horrible things that my girlfriend told me a few days later when we talked about it. All I truly remember is the hangover the morning after which was abysmal. So I told her that day that I was seriously going to change because that sort of behavior is not acceptable, irresponsible, and frankly unhealthy. I said I was going to very gradually get off of it, because I had heard going cold turkey could be dangerous. Well, one week became two, which became three, and well, I haven't had a drink in 52 days.

    I still do smoke weed, so I'm not 100% sober. But unlike with alcohol where I had a tendency to drink an excess of it, I'm able to be more responsible with my use. I mainly attribute this to the fact because I really didn't smoke all that much. Living in Illinois, it was illegal, so I really didn't partake unless I was in a state where it was legal, or happened to be around some friends who were carrying it.

    Since I've stopped drinking, I swear I've been sleeping so much better. I used to struggle with insomnia every once in a while, but now I can't remember the last time I had difficulty sleeping.

    One question, does anyone who doesn't drink still have alcohol in their home? I was talking to my girlfriend about this. I find it almost comforting to keep it in the house. I don't have the urge to drink it really at all. The fact that I can see it there and still resist - it does give me a little shot in the arms in terms of self-esteem/sense of accomplishment.

  26. #86
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Somerset, UK
    Posts
    976
    Mentioned
    21 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bachy View Post
    One question, does anyone who doesn't drink still have alcohol in their home? I was talking to my girlfriend about this. I find it almost comforting to keep it in the house. I don't have the urge to drink it really at all. The fact that I can see it there and still resist - it does give me a little shot in the arms in terms of self-esteem/sense of accomplishment.
    I did for about 6 months. It all got gradually drank by people who were visiting or whatever and I've never replaced it.

    I feel like having some booze in front of you makes it your decision not to drink. If you throw everything away and hide yourself away all you'll do is want to find some drink. But if it's right there in front of you and you choose not to drink it? You got this. It's all good

    Congrats on 52 days.

  27. #87
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    1,432
    Mentioned
    13 Post(s)
    Today is 6 years with no alcohol.

  28. #88
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    933
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Bachy View Post
    One question, does anyone who doesn't drink still have alcohol in their home?
    I don't, and it's not recommended. This is not like some fight when you have to prove how amazing you are, because weak moment can appear anytime and... is it worth it? Going out to buy something would take you some time to think "wait, what the hell am I doing..." But for me this is easy since I live alone.

  29. #89
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    London
    Posts
    310
    Mentioned
    6 Post(s)
    My partner reminded me today that we'd passed my anniversary (April 1st) - seven years booze free.

  30. #90
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Dela-where?
    Posts
    849
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Congrats! Had to reopen my app and saw that today is day 2,354 without a drink.

    Glad to hear everyone is doing well!

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions