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Faceplams: that is actually perfect, in my opinion.Originally Posted by Magtig
she/her/hers
that is actually perfect, in my opinion.
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Not to apology for the gaffe, but I think a lot of folks don't truly know how to navigate this area. I have a friend who used to say 'he-she' and really didn't know that was offensive.
Throbbing Member
There's an awful lot of confusion for sure, but this wasn't one of those cases.
However, I'm definitely in favor of moving away from the PC police state we find ourselves in right now. The height of this ridiculousness came when RuPaul was attacked for using "tranny" on Drag Race. You may not personally like the term, but RuPaul is the enemy? Really?!
RuPaul's own response to the controversy is particularly illuminating. Shortly after the incident she was interviewed by Marc Maron on the WTF podcast, and she responded by saying that if you're going out into the world expecting people to use the right words in order for you to be okay, you're going to be in for a rough ride. She added that we need to assess the intent behind the words people say in context with what we know about their character. When Jonah Hill basically feels as if he has to humiliate himself on national television, a guy who had a history of supporting gay rights, we might be going a little overboard. But assessing a person's character or past requires thought and understanding. Going redzone when someone uses a word you don't like, on the other hand, doesn't. Even worse, it makes people think that they're activists when they're really just the word police. Words are cheap. Actions aren't.
So, Dra508, your friend may have used the term 'he-she' but he might have been doing so without any bad will or intent. It's easy enough to tell people, "I'd prefer if you used the term 'X'." It's hard to volunteer or run a shelter for homeless LGBT people who have been exiled from their families.
Last edited by Magtig; 12-22-2014 at 07:07 PM.
Active Member
Finally starting to work on my voice. I bought this voice lesson thing months ago and finally stopped being lazy and started working on it. I feel really good about it. I'm glad I'm taking active steps toward my transition.
Also, should be starting laser hair removal soon (on my face and my body). I'm still nervous since I'm not completely sure I am going to transition, but I've been pretty confident that I'm probably going to for awhile now and I can't really put it off much longer. So I'm still somewhat undecided about the laser thing but leaning very heavily toward yes. I'm hoping it will become more clear as I get a consult and maybe schedule an appointment. Starting to get real.
Oh, also...so that side by side photo I posted on the last page...I thought the first photo was from months ago but I was wrong. I figured out that the first photo was from month 5 on hormones, and the second was from month 6. So my face changed a LOT in one month. Like, I don't know what happened but something must be clicking because that was a pretty drastic change in such a short amount of time. I hope it continues at that pace!
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Yes, I absolutely believe in that particular case there was no ill will. At the same time, there are folks that belittle or disparate using the same words and go on to say they have no ill will. That's ignorance,
Bite me
This is like women being called "bitch."
A bitch is a FEMALE DOG.
But, the feminist movement had to decide whether it wanted to focus on a stupid word, or on much bigger issues, like job opportunities, equal pay, education, childcare, political voice, birth control, legal capacity, etc. We ultimately chose the latter. "He-she" or "she-male" are both descriptive in a world trying to understand these gender issues.
Bitch is not.
Learn from the feminist movement: Choose your priorities.
P.s. We took back Cunt as ours: http://www.amazon.com/Cunt-Declarati.../dp/1580050751
Last edited by allegro; 12-27-2014 at 09:55 PM.
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This is horrible and all too common.
http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/...-note-20141230
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Ugh. Sounds like her parents are going to deny her in death too.
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Saw this on my FB newsfeed. Very sad story. Some of the comments from people on the article were just so backward and disgusting. RIP Leelah.
BACKROLLS?!
Her parents are fucking monsters. RIP.
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I try to avoid comment sections under trans articles. They tend to be cesspools of hatred and ignorance. Every once in a while curiosity gets the best of me and I almost always regret it.
That being said, I read the comments under the Jezebel article on this yesterday and every single one was supportive. Which doesn't surprise me; I kind of figured that would be a safe to read.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
Active Member
Stupid people and victim blaming piss me off.
Other person (after I pointed out that over half of all homicides of people in the LGBT community were trans people): "Yeah, well, I know a few trans people and I want to know how many of those people brought it on themselves! I mean, if you're not going to tell someone you're trans and then try to date them then you brought it on yourself!" Um...wat.
Also, apparently violence against trans people is a "first world problem" and we really shouldn't be wasting time or energy trying to solve it. It's awesome to have your (very real) fears invalidated by someone so incredibly ignorant and out of touch. I guess as long as it doesn't affect them then it's no big deal.
Of course, this person KNOWS some trans people, so obviously that makes them an expert! People can't be this stupid, right?
I debated whether to put this in the 'Little Things That Piss You Off' thread or here. Don't know which one was better but it seemed more appropriate here. :/
Last edited by theruiner; 01-18-2015 at 01:09 PM.
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Proposed Florida bill would make it illegal for transgender people to use the correct restroom (read: trans women would have to always use the men's room, even after transition and vice versa) INCLUDING single person bathrooms and violators could face jail time.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2...bathrooms.html
So, once again, trans people aren't really people and their safety isn't important at all. We're just freaks, we're not human, we should have to just go into the wrong bathroom and hope for the best. And if some of us get assaulted or murdered? Well, I guess that's what we get for being freaks.
In the meantime, at least the general populace is saved from the horrible, sick transgenders!!1
Last edited by theruiner; 02-06-2015 at 12:59 PM.
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That's ridiculous. I don't know how you enforce that anyway. It's not like you have a scarlet letter on your shirt. Ugh.
Oh yeah and Bruce Jenner.....
Active Member
So, I know this movie doesn't look very good. The acting seems pretty bad and the whole thing just seems kind of amateur (doesn't help that the trailer is VERY poorly made). BUT it's a romantic drama/comedy about a trans woman and the star of the movie is an ACTUAL trans woman instead of a cis actress for a change. And that's pretty awesome and rare. For that reason alone I want to see this. I'm hoping it's better than the trailer makes it seem. There were a couple of lines that made me laugh (I've watched the trailer three times and the last line made me laugh every time).
Also, I totally have a crush on Michelle Hendley now. Holy crap, is that woman gorgeous.
Throbbing Member
EVOLVEFEST combines two things I despise: new age nonsense and bigotry. At first I thought those were odd bedfellows, but apparently there's a whole chunk of new agey people who are serious homophobes and anti-semites (which they're in denial about, of course). For example, they claimed that transgendered people simply aren't honoring their masculinity or femininity and that their real problem is narcissism. Oh, and they're here to help heal them. Does that remind anyone of anything? How about the so called 'pray the gay away' camps some Christian groups (sadly) still employ?
While I'm on that topic: New Age is really just Christianity-lite where negative thought replaces sin in an all-too-familiar system of shame and self loathing. Groups like Evolvefest prove my point. Read this post of theirs -an APOLOGY for a post that was way worse- and tell me it's not chock full of redneckian bigotry (it's not natural! it'll lead to peadophillia being legalized!) wrapped in fluffy "I love you and everyone else too" language: https://www.facebook.com/evolvefesti...645447322011:0
FUCK THESE CUNTS.
Active Member
Oh, for fuck's sake. Where do people get these ideas? I swear, people will twist themselves into mental knots to avoid accepting reality at all costs. I don't get it. How are we a threat to people? What negative impact are we having on their lives by transitioning? Seems like it doesn't affect people at ALL yet some people (a lot of people) are obsessed with us. Like, it's this mental hangup where they truly believe (because of societal conditioning, let's be honest) that MEN SHOULD BE MEN and WOMEN SHOULD BE WOMEN and for someone who was living as a man (notice I didn't say IS a man) to transition is an ABOMINATION!!! And they seem to be REALLY interested in what's between our legs, which also perplexes me.
tl;dr: assholes
Throbbing Member
Well, Evolvefest (god, that name) got cancelled because of their bigotry! http://www.edmtunes.com/2015/02/evol...o-hate-speech/
So fucking A. Yay!
Active Member
That David Bryson dude is a whack job. One of the evolvefest post contradicted itself like three times. I don't know, but hasn't past news taught us that those that swing the big moral stick are usually the ones "guilty" of these supposed immoral tendencies? So many of their past posts were contradictory too: we love everyone except.... And it's our constitutional right to blah blah blah.. Gay Wall Street. What?
yoga and political opinion just don't go together.
Alt-Left Leaning Cunt
Active Member
God dammit
Last edited by theruiner; 02-09-2015 at 11:04 AM.
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So, I finally had the opportunity (and got up the nerve) to tell my mom yesterday that I'm on hormones. I had already come out to her when I was younger but hadn't really updated her at all about any of this. Thankfully, it went really well. She had a couple of concerns, mostly making sure that this is what I really want and also concerns about my safety. Both legitimate concerns. Safety, especially, is a big one, and I have no idea how that's going to go once I'm full time (IF I continue, which I probably will) but at the end of the day it's a risk I'm willing to take because the alternative just isn't much of an alternative at all.
Also, this Sunday makes 9 months on hormones. 9 months! Kind of crazy how normal this has become. It's just a part of my life now. The fact that physical changes are going very, VERY slowly has also helped me adjust to it without it being too much too fast.
Last edited by theruiner; 02-23-2015 at 02:08 PM.
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Moms worry about everything. Mine still asks me not to stand in front of the microwave or use my mobile phone too long.
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^^This is true. And, really, those are very legitimate concerns, especially about safety. Other than that, though, she really took it well. I didn't sense any resistance or feel like she was in denial or anything. And it was nice to be able to open up to her a bit more. I've always kept my femininity hidden from her, even after I came out as trans, so yesterday was the first time that I could finally start to let me guard down. For example, we were talking about the physical changes that occur from hormones and I was like, "And, you know, the fat tends to shift away from the gut area and move toward the butt, thighs, hips and, obviously, boobs." And then I was like, "And it would be NICE if I got some fat in my hips and butt but as of right now not so much. Hopefully it'll happen at some point and it's just taking its time." That is NOT something I would have said to her before. I am just flat out saying like, yes, I really look forward to hopefully having a more feminine figure, including my butt. To my mom. That was kind of big for me. Or telling her that I wear makeup, that I went to San Francisco to be able to dress how I want and be out and about and see how it feels (I had only told her that I went up there to explore the city previously, which is also true but not the entire reason). So it was great to finally be able to catch her up on all that stuff and really tell her about the changes that are occurring and let her into that side of myself.
Also, I was really hoping that by telling her maybe it would be easier for me to figure this out or I would start to feel better and more sure about transitioning, instead of still feeling like I'm not totally sure. Like maybe that was part of my mental block about it. And while I'm not sure yet, I have to say that today I'm feeling MUCH better than I have in awhile. Not just feeling like a weight has been lifted by finally telling her (though there's that, too) but also I've just been feeling a lot more confident that I really want to do this, that I really want to go all the way with it. So we'll see if it lasts but it sure is nice.
Active Member
One of my favorite radio shows, State of The Re:Union that I unfortunately miss listening to a lot, had an episode a couple months ago called
trans families
http://stateofthereunion.com/trans-families/
as well as this short I did listen to tonight.
https://soundcloud.com/stateofthereu...ple-twice-born
Active Member
^^I heard the original awhile back. Pretty interesting! I will have to try to listen to the new short when I get home. Thank you for sharing.
Also, this was awesome and really inspiring. Kind of hard to watch for me, because it brought out a lot of sadness about the childhood that I so desperately wanted and missed. But it's a pretty fantastic story. I didn't read the article (it is LONG) but the video is great.
http://www.cincinnati.com/story/news...irer/23697339/
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I can't even wrap my head around this.
http://time.com/3744918/jazz-jenning...r-clean-clear/
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