The Transgender Thread

[theruiner]

^^Whoa, slow down, allegro. I never said women were defined by long hair or that men couldn't have long hair or any of that. As I said in the 'Piss You Off' thread, that's just a personal preference of mine. To be mad at me for that, you would have to also get mad every woman OR man who has long hair and enjoys having long hair. It's just a personal preference, and I never said or even insinuated otherwise. Yes, as a guy, I think short hair looks better on me, and it's easier to manage. I'm not saying ALL men have to feel that way, I'm just saying what happens to look best on me. As a woman, I would like to have long hair because that's just the way I feel I'd like my hair.

Secondly, yes, I do think having long hair would probably help people transition better, because yes, we are living in the stone age, unfortunately, at least as far as transsexuals go. I can't speak for anyone else, but I would guess that there probably are transsexuals out there who feel having long hair will help them differentiate themselves from their male self, and you know what? I'm not going to knock them if they feel that way. I've lived my entire life feeling I've been the wrong gender, and I know the pain of having people constantly address me as a male when inside I'm not sure that's how I really feel. So if long hair were something that I felt I wanted to do to help curb that issue, it wouldn't be a statement about how women should have long hair, it would be a personal preference, and maybe help me look a little less like my male self, since everyone has known me my entire life with short hair. And if you don't like that, frankly, I don't really give a crap. You haven't been in my situation and you haven't felt what I've been feeling for the past 29 years and you don't know what it's like to have to transition from one sex to another and to begrudge someone that is just ridiculous.

"Gender Identity" is just that. Gender is a social construct, and identity is which you choose. Or both. You don't have to pick one. You can be fluid and just be "you." Fuck society's "gender" identification, you know? Try to talk with me about frilly dresses or fashion, and you lose me (and may even offend me). Talk with me about cars and boats, I may be more interested. Talk with me about how I hate bras. Or about how I love my vagina although I wouldn't mind trading it for a dick for a few days, just so I could pee under a viaduct or write my name in the snow. But then I'd want my vagina back. Because I like it. I own it, I know how it works, it's mine, I wouldn't trade it, I don't hate it. Do I define myself by it? No. My brain and my intellect is what defines me. My body is just something that gets me to the store and back and gets me from one day to the next.

And no one's arguing that gender isn't a social construct. But I feel the way I feel. Yes, I like feminine things, and yes, I do feel that my body is probably wrong. I tried explaining this the best I could. Maybe I failed to explain it correctly, I don't know, but I'm not going to explain it any further. I'm honestly not sure what your point is with this, but, like I said, I did the best I could to explain what it was like. I never, ever, ever said that women couldn't like cars and boats or that men couldn't like frilly dresses. But this goes way, way deeper than just being able to wear a dress. If you think that's what being a transsexual is, or that somehow just being able to do things or wear clothes that are traditionally assigned to women in this society would solve the problem or should solve the problem for a transsexual, then you really, really don't get it, and frankly, I'm too upset right now to explain further. In fact, I don't know that I even want to. I've said what I had to say.

I like Hula's idea about the whole thing: s/he seems to like aspects of both. And THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Hating parts of your own body is normal FOR ALL SEXES. Shit, I've hated my boobs since I was 13. I was gonna get a boob job until I realized that they're MY boobs and I wouldn't want some other boobs, so I kept them and I love them because they're mine and nobody else's.

I never said anything was wrong with the way Hula felt. And no, hating parts of your body to the point that you want to have a sex change operation is not "normal" for both sexes. It's a very real and very painful condition, and one which you obviously do not understand. I will not sit here listen to you second guess the way I feel about things and try to minimize what I'm feeling or argue about what I should or shouldn't do with it. I'm done with this conversation. You can keep adding to your post if you want to, I'm not responding to it any more.