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Thread: And all that *should* have been

  1. #1
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    And all that *should* have been

    This thread idea came to me last night.

    What did you do and where did you intend be in life? And where have you ended up now? Are you happy where you are now and did the dreams come true? Or not?

    Iíll start. For me, Iím 31 going on 32 later this year. I went to college from 2007-2009 and did a double Arts major in English and Philosophy. Never intended on getting married or having kids.

    I now have one 5-going-on-6 year old and another one due February of next year. I never intended on the settled life, but I love it!

    My only regret is not looking into my options/interests enough during my college years. While writing was my fortť, hindsight makes me wish I studied biology and got into some field of natural biological work. Iím fascinated by nature and different species and so on. But, I guess, itís never too late. Not until Covid fucks off, at least.

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    I wish I would’ve become a librarian.

    That would’ve been great.

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    I shelved and scanned in books casually for a while at my college library as a side job for a bit. That was super awesome; particularly visiting the basement and admiring the very old/rare volumes that could only be borrowed for a day or a few hours or so.

    A particularly rare edition of The Divine Comedy always struck my eye.

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    i never wanted kids, i never wanted a future, and i thought i'd be dead at 23.

    i'm 33, sarah and i are expecting a child at the end of november, i recently decided to start going by Mae instead of Maxwell, and i'm in the early stages of transitioning.

    i also thought, once i didn't die at 23, that i would just keep doing the job i've always done - a/v & related work. but i left that world almost exactly a year ago, and i will never go back. would be nice if i had a job right now, though. :/

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    I'm 48, I was a nurse for 17 years, that was what I wanted to do from childhood. In the UK the profession went through some changes and I wasn't very happy. More admin, less working with/for people. So I left. After doing a few jobs to fill in, I was an activity coordinator for care homes. That is a fun job.
    Looked after my Dad after he was diagnosed with dementia, then Mom who had health problems, for nine years. They've both passed now and I feel kind of liberated. I know that is a bit brutal but it's the truth. They were great parents but struggled to make sense of me. I've kept a lot in to spare them distress.
    Now I work as a library assistant (well furloughed at present) and I love it so much. Never expected I could find a job I enjoyed as much as nursing, its lovely, books are lovely.
    As for everything else, I wasn't very concerned about marriage and kids and have no regrets not having the kids. I wish I had met someone to share everything with, that I would change if I could.
    If Covid ever goes away I have some new things I want to try and goals I want achieve, things that are only becoming possible now I'm free.

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    I thought I would be working in visual effects for movies or video game design. It's what I went to college for. Instead I moved to Vermont and became a ski instructor. I did that for ten years. Full time for seven, part time for three. When teaching skiing became part time, I got a job as a behavior interventionist, working with behaviorally challenged youth in public schools. NEVER would have thought I'd be doing a job like that. This upcoming school year will be my sixth year doing that now.

    It's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm honestly not sure what is. It's fine for now. I stopped teaching skiing after three years of doing both jobs, and have just bought a pass for the mountain the last two seasons. But I didn't ski much those past two winters, which bums me out (and to be fair this past one was cut short). When I was a full time instructor I would get 100+ days in per season. Hopefully we can have a ski season this year so I can find that passion again. I'll probably never get 100 days in a season again, but a couple dozen would be nice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by otnavuskire View Post
    I thought I would be working in visual effects for movies or video game design. It's what I went to college for. Instead I moved to Vermont and became a ski instructor. I did that for ten years. Full time for seven, part time for three. When teaching skiing became part time, I got a job as a behavior interventionist, working with behaviorally challenged youth in public schools. NEVER would have thought I'd be doing a job like that. This upcoming school year will be my sixth year doing that now.

    It's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm honestly not sure what is. It's fine for now. I stopped teaching skiing after three years of doing both jobs, and have just bought a pass for the mountain the last two seasons. But I didn't ski much those past two winters, which bums me out (and to be fair this past one was cut short). When I was a full time instructor I would get 100+ days in per season. Hopefully we can have a ski season this year so I can find that passion again. I'll probably never get 100 days in a season again, but a couple dozen would be nice.
    While I was reading that second part all I could keep picturing was this.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Erneuert View Post
    This thread idea came to me last night.

    What did you do and where did you intend be in life? And where have you ended up now? Are you happy where you are now and did the dreams come true? Or not?

    Iíll start. For me, Iím 31 going on 32 later this year. I went to college from 2007-2009 and did a double Arts major in English and Philosophy. Never intended on getting married or having kids.

    I now have one 5-going-on-6 year old and another one due February of next year. I never intended on the settled life, but I love it!
    Well, there goes having those beers at the World Coming Down show, family man!

    All I ever wanted to do in life was watch Transformers in the movie theater 107 times while stealing cardboard cutouts of optimus prime from the lobby and accessing ETS via rooftop starbucks WIFI.
    But... none of that ever happened.
    Last edited by ManBurning; 08-05-2020 at 05:13 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ManBurning View Post
    Well, there goes having those beers at the World Coming Down show, family man!

    All I ever wanted to do in life was watch Transformers in the movie theater 107 times while stealing cardboard cutouts of optimus prime from the lobby and accessing ETS via rooftop starbucks WIFI.
    But... none of that ever happened.
    I’m still allowed beer and concerts now and then.

    The problem is Covid and being able to GO to gigs!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ManBurning View Post
    Well, there goes having those beers at the World Coming Down show, family man!

    All I ever wanted to do in life was watch Transformers in the movie theater 107 times while stealing cardboard cutouts of optimus prime from the lobby and accessing ETS via rooftop starbucks WIFI.
    But... none of that ever happened.
    were you possessed by the ghost of Haz!?!?

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erneuert View Post
    While I was reading that second part all I could keep picturing was this.
    Honestly while teaching lower level kids lessons, it's not that far from the truth. Luckily I didn't have to do lower levels that often after the first few years.

  12. #12
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    I started out my career in molecular biology. I moved to the UK because my partner was homesick, and life was supposed to be perfect. Only I really hated never having summers and the food is terrible. Then my father died, and some external government BS f*ckery aimed at my family demanded that I be back state-side. I was happy to do so, provided my partner could come visit every few months until we figured things out. The idea was that I would live with my mother until I found a job/ moved out.

    So I moved November 2019.

    And then COVID happened. I transitioned my skill set to project management in specialized construction. Everyone was surprised how quickly I learned things (it wasn't that hard?), and I'm making more money now than I was as a scientist.
    But.... I'm stuck living with my mother (I love her dearly, but it has become tiresome), and I have no idea when I'll see my partner again (they have asthma and are high risk...the whole 10 hr plane ride thing is very problematic).

    So basically I'm making decent money, but I'm trapped in a home with no friends/partner and no hope for friends for the next year or so. Essentially I work a lot, and when I'm not working, I'm online. I do swim a lot and try to enjoy the warm weather, but I have no social life.

    I have no clue what the all that *should* have been is... I wasn't happy in the UK, and then external force on my family caused me to move back....and then COVID. I do think that the transition from scientist to project management was the smartest move. There is a dire lack of funding in science, and the salaries aren't there unless you're in pharma.

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