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Thread: The Poopy Diaper Vinyl Thread

  1. #331
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    I thought posters to this thread might appreciate this.

    My favourite Australian band TISM are releasing their first work in almost twenty years, and it’s a 100 minute album on vinyl, which consists solely of silence. The relevant parts of the press release follow -

    With its lesser dynamic range, worse signal-to-noise ratio, inferior channel separation, variation in playback speed, limited sound capacity, and susceptibility to heat, dust and damge, vinyl is an inexplicably re-emerging gimmick for pox-addled hair-lipped shut-ins who are trying too hard to compensate for their goitered lives.

    But why pay for multiple TISM albums in vinyl format when you can buy only one? The TISM Omni-Album is an all-purpose album cover containing liner notes, artwork and song listings suitable for all six TISM albums. The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album comes with an actual vinyl disc, filled with 100 minutes of total silence, so as not to detract from the sound quality and thereby allowing you to savour the full vinyl experience: you will extract the soon-to-be scratched disc from the soon-to-be bent cover, place it on a revolving turntable powered by the latest in 1920s technology, and then attempt to drop a tiny, fragile and expensive needle on to an inconsistently revolving wax groove.

    With the TISM Deluxe Omni-Album, all the features of analogue listening are yours: turntable rumble, extraneous cartridge noise, clicks and pops as the stylus hits dust, and of course, the repetitive insanity of a needle endlessly skipping over the permanently damaged surface. And remember, with The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album's carefully mastered total silence, you can listen to TISM's music in any non-analogue format you choose (these formats are available for separate purchase.) The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album is the ultimate TISM listening experience.

    Needless to say, as a fan I picked up a copy... And if it’s not clear, TISM spent their entire career taking the piss out of popular culture, their fans and themselves (they have a song called ‘TISM Are Shit’, so none of it is to be taken that seriously).

  2. #332
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    Quote Originally Posted by muad'nin View Post
    I thought posters to this thread might appreciate this.

    My favourite Australian band TISM are releasing their first work in almost twenty years, and it’s a 100 minute album on vinyl, which consists solely of silence. The relevant parts of the press release follow -

    With its lesser dynamic range, worse signal-to-noise ratio, inferior channel separation, variation in playback speed, limited sound capacity, and susceptibility to heat, dust and damge, vinyl is an inexplicably re-emerging gimmick for pox-addled hair-lipped shut-ins who are trying too hard to compensate for their goitered lives.

    But why pay for multiple TISM albums in vinyl format when you can buy only one? The TISM Omni-Album is an all-purpose album cover containing liner notes, artwork and song listings suitable for all six TISM albums. The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album comes with an actual vinyl disc, filled with 100 minutes of total silence, so as not to detract from the sound quality and thereby allowing you to savour the full vinyl experience: you will extract the soon-to-be scratched disc from the soon-to-be bent cover, place it on a revolving turntable powered by the latest in 1920s technology, and then attempt to drop a tiny, fragile and expensive needle on to an inconsistently revolving wax groove.

    With the TISM Deluxe Omni-Album, all the features of analogue listening are yours: turntable rumble, extraneous cartridge noise, clicks and pops as the stylus hits dust, and of course, the repetitive insanity of a needle endlessly skipping over the permanently damaged surface. And remember, with The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album's carefully mastered total silence, you can listen to TISM's music in any non-analogue format you choose (these formats are available for separate purchase.) The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album is the ultimate TISM listening experience.

    Needless to say, as a fan I picked up a copy... And if it’s not clear, TISM spent their entire career taking the piss out of popular culture, their fans and themselves (they have a song called ‘TISM Are Shit’, so none of it is to be taken that seriously).
    That's hilarious. I own and play vinyl, and sometimes I wonder why. It is a LOT of trouble and a couple years into it I still doubt the whole experience. But then again, since the internet seems to be causing the destruction of the whole world and flooding us with misinformation and enslaving us to social media, maybe these plastic discs will be the only thing we care about in 20 years when we lives down in the tunnels.

  3. #333
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    Quote Originally Posted by muad'nin View Post
    I thought posters to this thread might appreciate this.

    My favourite Australian band TISM are releasing their first work in almost twenty years, and it’s a 100 minute album on vinyl, which consists solely of silence. The relevant parts of the press release follow -

    With its lesser dynamic range, worse signal-to-noise ratio, inferior channel separation, variation in playback speed, limited sound capacity, and susceptibility to heat, dust and damge, vinyl is an inexplicably re-emerging gimmick for pox-addled hair-lipped shut-ins who are trying too hard to compensate for their goitered lives.

    But why pay for multiple TISM albums in vinyl format when you can buy only one? The TISM Omni-Album is an all-purpose album cover containing liner notes, artwork and song listings suitable for all six TISM albums. The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album comes with an actual vinyl disc, filled with 100 minutes of total silence, so as not to detract from the sound quality and thereby allowing you to savour the full vinyl experience: you will extract the soon-to-be scratched disc from the soon-to-be bent cover, place it on a revolving turntable powered by the latest in 1920s technology, and then attempt to drop a tiny, fragile and expensive needle on to an inconsistently revolving wax groove.

    With the TISM Deluxe Omni-Album, all the features of analogue listening are yours: turntable rumble, extraneous cartridge noise, clicks and pops as the stylus hits dust, and of course, the repetitive insanity of a needle endlessly skipping over the permanently damaged surface. And remember, with The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album's carefully mastered total silence, you can listen to TISM's music in any non-analogue format you choose (these formats are available for separate purchase.) The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album is the ultimate TISM listening experience.

    Needless to say, as a fan I picked up a copy... And if it’s not clear, TISM spent their entire career taking the piss out of popular culture, their fans and themselves (they have a song called ‘TISM Are Shit’, so none of it is to be taken that seriously).
    If that press release isn't directly inspired by the pretentious not at all tongue in cheek vinyl mission statement i'll eat my shoe haha

    Also I feel like they asked @Helpmeiaminhell to write the first section of that description.
    Last edited by tony.parente; 11-02-2020 at 11:48 AM.

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