Nintendo

[Harry Seaward]

Anyone who says they don't like Mario or Zelda is a lying sack of shit.

And hate on Nintendo all you want, you can't deny their influence in gaming. Do you think Kinect or the PS3 equivalent (no idea what it's called) would be around if not for the Wii's popularity?

[Jinsai]

Anyone who says they don't like Mario or Zelda is a lying sack of shit.

And hate on Nintendo all you want, you can't deny their influence in gaming. Do you think Kinect or the PS3 equivalent (no idea what it's called) would be around if not for the Wii's popularity?

My feelings toward the new Zelda game have shifted from boredom to extreme irritation. I'm not lying when I say that it's ugly or that the plot is stupid and unnecessarily in your face. I also do not understand how anyone could prefer these gimmicky unresponsive motion controls to a traditional game controller. I just got past the first boss, and that fight was horrendous. The wiimote fails to recognize that I'm pointing it "skyward" 90 percent of the time, but instead requires me to jiggle it until I hit the sweet spot. I'll swing my sword right to left, and the game will register the exact opposite.

How am I lying when I say that I just want to use a normal controller? You know who's lying? Anyone who says that controlling the camera in this game isn't a frustrating load of shit compared to simply nudging the right analog stick in any modern game that uses a less moronic control scheme.

Kinect is dumb, and Sony Move is only fun for arcade light gun games and the gimmicky sports game. Thankfully, practically no games for ps3 require motion controls, unlike practically every single fucking game made for the wii, without which it would just be an overpriced gamecube.

So far, the story blows, the world is garish and ugly, the characters are boring and lifeless, the giant duck things you ride around on are bullshit, the flying controls for them are just as bad as the unpatched version of Sony's Lair, the combat is clunky and frustrating, the puzzles are awful, and the game started with a horrible three hour tutorial. Enjoy it if that's your sort of thing, but I'm not having fun and I'm not "lying." Why the FUCK would I lie about it? I've been trying really hard to like it so I don't feel like I've wasted my money. So far I've gotten the most enjoyment out of my wii playing old nintendo games on virtual console.