I really appreciate you answering my question, and I agree with you. I think (and I'm probably saying something you already know here, but still wanna voice it) statements like "men are trash" is a commentary on the ways men are complicit in stuff like toxic masculinity, rape culture, patriarchy, etc. Also, like, every single one of those terms tends to alienate people who aren't familiar with them, which is frustrating but true.
As a white person, I didn't
choose my own unconscious biases or the privilege I hold in a country that systemically oppresses people of color, but I am complicit. Also, like you mentioned with regards to men, my upbringing can play a huge role in that, how I think and behave with regards to being white, but the likely default is that I'm probably not being taught shit like unlearning toxic behavior, allyship, etc from a young age.
And like, people of color have centuries of being oppressed by white people, and some warranted suspicion and anger. Like @
Sarah K said, I don't mind when people of color say things like "white people ruin everything" because I can hear the "people" and not "you, playwithfire, ruin everything" -- but like, I still should probably examine the ways I may have contributed to that shit, right? And, I'm not going to get anywhere by asking the people who have been on the receiving end of marginalization to not call that out, right? And since I know better, I think it's important to avoid going "hopefully you don't mean me" when I see people of color doing that.
I think the only real constructive thing I can do with language like "men are trash" is to not pull it out (because I absolutely say it as well, sometimes) when I'm trying to have a constructive conversation with a person who I know that language will alienate, and to empathize with people who make different choices.