Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
For me, my fetishes are more about the psychological aspect than any fancy toys. At the last London Fetish Fair, there was an incredible workshop by a dom who demonstrated how he could make his clients cum just by tapping the air in a certain way or saying a certain word. The leader of the London munch wrote this really interesting essay about psychological domination. I love the idea of having that amount of trust in someone that you're able to let go completely. Because of this, my sexual preferences are an extension of a connection with someone, rather than a thing that needs to happen for me to get off. And it fits so perfectly with the rest of my beliefs and lifestyle.
I agree with this so much. Chemistry is the key ingredient that makes any kind of kinky activity really special. It doesn't really even have to be love, but an innate understanding of each other. I know of people who have play partners who are really just FWB, who would probably tell you the same thing. My ideal arrangement would be to have one person at the center, but with room for both of us to explore with others, outside of what we do with each other. I could never bear the idea of cheating on a woman I love, but I equally can't bear the idea of total and utter monogamy because my pervy brain just cannot allow it. I almost fell in with someone who was exactly as kinky as I was, but couldn't comprehend what my goals were and it all went downhill from there.

But right now, for personal reasons, I'm just going to put it all aside for awhile and be a bystander. I've engaged in so much kink that didn't have those qualities and felt like I was feeding an addiction rather than finding what I was really looking for, that I'm afraid if I do more of it it will all feel just like a waste of my time, and I end up doing what my mother wishes and find a nice Christian girl to marry and find Jesus.