Throbbing Member
I would love to have children, but this is not about what I want. If only I could believe the future will be OK, peace, economics, jobs, water, wars, climate... I'm not thinking it will definitely go to hell soon, but maybe it will, and do I want to watch my children suffer...? Or, maybe I am just... what is the word for looking for excuses. And maybe I'll find woman with children so this will be solved already. :-)
Active Member
The future of the world itself is a very large reason for me not wanting kids. I'm too pessimistic about the future of the planet to think that bringing anyone else into it could possibly be a good idea - for me and for them. IF I ever changed my mind, I would adopt for both selfish and selfless reasons (i.e. skipping the diaper phase, but also I could never justify creating a new life when ~100,000 kids in this country alone are currently without parents and awaiting adoption.)
Throbbing Member
I’m a 35 year old woman so people seem to be able to see alarms going off around me concerning my biological clock, like it’s do or die time. I hate being asked and I hate the reactions once I do respond. I’m terrified of having children and still very unsure about it. When people tell me I’m missing out I have to remind them of how miserable they are most of the time.
Active Member
http://brutereason.tumblr.com/post/1...who-choose-notOriginally Posted by Nellyrific
Love this person's explanation.
Throbbing Member
YES.
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Throbbing Member
I don't remember seeing this thread before. i'm unmarried and childfree but it's not intentional. None of the men I was involved with ever wanted kids. They didn't wanna get married either. Not to me. I didn't choose this lifestyle.
I think I would've made a good mother. I like kids and I'm a generous person. I have a background in nursing and nutrition. I also know how to budget because I went to business school.
Last edited by Boots; 07-30-2018 at 04:18 PM.
Hairy Member
I don't think I should have children.
It's like, I like the idea of having a chicken coop, but I don't really want to maintain it or kill the chickens for food. I'd love the free eggs though!
My body on the other hand really really wants to be filled with seed, embarrassingly so, yesterday at work I was caught staring zombie-like at the TV's by a manager. It was a DJ Steve Aoki show. I don't even like DJ's, I don't even think I've ever been attracted to Asians.
But I wanted him to fill me up with his seed.
Fucked up.
she/her/hers
cool, another racist person on the board.
Captain Rustleboots
The rare female INCEL.
Active Member
My wife has been asking about kids alot lately. I'm still mostly Team No Kids. And will be until we are both in our careers. I'm trying to be a teacher, so i need to go get my certification and take some classes and shit still. She's doing her pre-requisites for Vet School. Though, I wish she would decide to be a teacher. She's a supplemental insturctor at the University she goes to and does a really damn good job at it. Plus we would both have summers off for whatever trips we want to go on. So right now is absolutely not the time for it. If we are both teachers or i am a teacher and she's a vet, perhaps then I'll reconsider, but I am at a hard no right now.
End rant. Life has been hard lately.
Trollhunter
Maybe I’ve mentioned this here before but in case I haven’t, I don’t ever want to speak to a kid on the phone. I don’t like talking on the phone as it is so don’t make it worse by telling me someone wants to talk to me and then hand your phone to your toddler. My sister knows better and when I bought my 3 year old nephew a copy of The Diggingest Dog, she texted me when it arrived saying “Owen says Thank You.” That’s how you do it.
Related tip—don’t be the guy/lady/family that lets your kid do your voicemail.
Active Member
I definitely have no interest in having kids. I'm an honorary uncle to my best friend's son, and I'm satisfied with that position. I get to hang out with him for a while, and then when I get tired of that, it's back to his dad. That might sound mean, but it's not meant to be. He's a cool kid, but he will tire you out if you let him.
As far as marriage goes, it's not something I'm really aiming for, but if my guy wanted to do it, I wouldn't say no.
Throbbing Member
I feel like people’s expectations never end. I just got engaged and one of my first thoughts was “great, people can get off my back about that now.” Alas, I’m now asked when the big day is and we are deer in headlights because we’ve been engaged for about 10 minutes. I haven’t thought about it at all and I hate weddings and have no interest in that kind of circus show. I know that once we are married, it’s on to “when are you going to have a kid?” Then it’s “when are you having another one, you can’t just have one!” If I have two girls it will be “when are you going to try for a boy??” Being Armenian doesn’t help...they think you’re a baby factory.
Hairy Member
You can have a type and not be racist. And I don't really like skinny. I'm just saying it was a nice surprise in my pants.
Hairy Member
Meh, I tan well and I'm Hispanic. But I am problematic, you're right.
Hairy Member
No I know, I'm just owning it. <3 u 2 <3<3<3
Active Member
Four years, three miscarriages, and 1,616 shots to make a baby (+$40,000 in fertility treatments)
The profoundly insightful reason: "I wanted a biological child".
I just can't get my head around that. Maybe it's because I'm a guy, so I've spent my whole life knowing that giving birth is literally not even an option. But I can't imagine feeling so strongly about something that I would forgo all other options - ones which would have a more positive benefit to others, no less - in order to take the selfish route. But maybe I'm just a miserable old asshole.
Trollhunter
Kicked a hornets nest full of anti vaxxer moms on Twitter yesterday. You know, having had cancer and all, my immune system isn’t ever going to be 100% again, so I’d rather not have children (who even at their healthiest are STILL living breathing germ factories) of dim witted shitty parents bringing back shit like the measles.
ITS THEIR RIGHT TO CHOOSE, BRO
Humanity is so goddamn disappointing as positive as I keep trying to be.
Active Member
Ouch. And you don't want to be on birth control pills? IUD's just freak me out, the knowledge of something being inside down there.
Down, but not out.
I've actually changed my mind a bit about this, even though I still lean more towards the childfree side of things.
I know that childfree doesn't always mean child/parent haters. I think my only problem was with being pressured and hassled to become a parent or get married or seeing other people getting pressured/hassled for also opting out of parenthood and/or marriage. But that's about it really. So yeah, I don't hate parents and children, since character is everything, and what truly matters/counts.
If I had any problem, it's because I've just been lost on finding value, reason and purpose to life sometimes, and it seems contradictory and even hypocritical to procreate if a part of you stopped believing in propagating life, especially in hopes that you'll put an end to your lineage once and for all with a painless, peaceful and dare I say dignified death, which also isn't obviously always a guarantee. (As in the painless and peaceful dignity, since death and suffering is always a guarantee.) I can't imagine what to tell children if you've just given up on life itself. (Not in a suicidal way, but it really does seem like an endless cycle of grief and death, so I just try to enjoy it while I still can. This is also admittedly the anti-natalism seeping in.)
This would be tough for me to explain to a child or children of mine if I had them. I mean, I might not know so much about life, but looking back at it, it is best to do your best and stay out of trouble and just be good to people and exercise self-control and personal accountability while being the change you want to be in the world as well as benefiting yourself and those around you and just not trying to be a burden and immoral/evil, and am sure I'd do my best to be there for them, guide them and love them, but as far as life in the grand scheme of things, I'm just lost and confused, to the point where it's hard to make "Try to enjoy it while you still can." 100% positive.
And not that I also haven't known this all my life, but there are much more people than I realized that look at marriage as a step to procreation and not just being a loving relationship. Most people I know really still tell me that one of the reasons to get married is to have children, and some of them still asked me what the point of marriage is without starting a family. It also even wasn't always out of religious reasons either. It was sometimes even as simple as "It's just something people do." And while I get how normal that is, since traditions are bound to be ingrained in the majority's minds, I still don't see as to why and/or how it would be ever wrong/bad for a couple's marriage just being about love itself.
Oh right. And there are also a lot more parents than I realized that actually find just having one child abnormal. I didn't realize how much having an only child also stood out. It's like, at least one child is not zero children, right? And while only children can get lonely, not all siblings end up well together in the long-run.
Last edited by Halo Infinity; 03-23-2019 at 09:23 PM.
I was nobody. Nothing.
well said. I relate to this, a LOT.
I also think "if I had a kid, what if he was like me ?" And by that, I mean what if the child was mentally ill and struggled with substance abuse issues.
I don't mean to sound nihilistic or joyless, but, SHIT, a lot of my life has been fucking MISERABLE. I've got some bad ass scars from suicide attempts. And, while that was all in the past, I've found myself in the BORDERLINE suicidal boat, PRETTY damn recently. THhen, there is the intense mania (that has annoyed the shit out of some of you , probably ESPECIALLY if we're friends.) On a handful of occasions, that stuff has turned into full on psychosis. I would NOT want to pass that on to.anyone. So, when I have these pangs of sadness for not having had a kid, I think of these things.
I also think of some of my friends, who are more like family, who had kids together - four of the closest friends I've ever had. One mother is dead from suicide, one is dead from drug bullshit, one father is in prison for some sort of gangster-ass insanity, one father is homeless and broken. I'm not trying to be mean here, especially about the dead ones. They all tried REALLY hard to get their shit together, and came REALLY close. But Mr. Self Destruct won in the end. So, i don't think they should have had kids. Obviously, other people have their kids now, and imagine how much it must fuck with those kids to think of their real parents. (Edit: it is, btw, a miracle that I didn't suffer a similar fate as some of these people, considering the way I used to live.)
Also, even though I'm more stable these days, and don't drink or shoot dope or anything like that, I DID get sick and become disabled. So, now, I'd be having a REALLY hard time supporting a child, because of my own physical illness.
I don't think I was supposed to have kids.
Last edited by elevenism; 03-24-2019 at 12:19 AM.
Active Member
^^ mostly same.
Partner and I both have mental health issues. She has additional chronic health issues and a pretty poor family history. And to be perfectly honest, neither one of us is even remotely close to "attractive" by conventional standards (and it took me a very, very, very long time to be okay with that on my own end).
Pair ALL of that with the fact that I'm rarely home and we barely have enough money to take care of ourselves as it is, and that child would have an exceptionally difficult life right out of the gate. About the only good thing going for them would be that they're white in America (which admittedly - and sadly - counts for a lot). But beyond that, the deck would be stacked pretty high against them. So thank you, no. No kids for us.
Throbbing Member
Could someone please direct me to the scientific work "The world will be just fine" which everyone else seems to have?
I'm not saying something terrible is going to happen, I just don't know. But to bring children in here people must believe that, right? Based on what?
Bite me
Based on the history of the planet?
she/her/hers
i'm having a kid in november. we found out our third round of IVF worked literally the day after i stopped going to work in march because of the pandemic. literally the worst timing imaginable. i'm fucking TERRIFIED of bringing a child into the world as it currently is (and i was already pretty apprehensive about it before the pandemic started).
Active Member
From my understanding, our resources have been tapped out for 10-15 years?
It's easy for me to tap out, as I don't have a parental bone in my body. But I've also held a long term (20 year) belief that it's selfish to bring more children into the world. There are some arguments that every generation should have x number more to keep things going (see Children of men), but....the overload on the world right now would say otherwise.
I can look up actually figures/ studies on Saturday. Work is busy right now.
Bite me
Earth would thrive without humans. We’re cockroaches.
https://theday.co.uk/stories/a-world...-be-a-new-eden
Active Member
Speak for yourself lady
That reminds of a cool show that aired back in the day. Life After People.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1433058/
Bite me
Look at all the evidence of this when humans were on lockdown during the Covid pandemic.
The carbon levels actually decreased. Air pollution decreased.
See this: https://www.latimes.com/science/stor...an-opportunity
Last edited by allegro; 08-11-2020 at 10:23 AM.
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