What would any of you do in case their partner did find marriage essential? The relationship is great and all, yet the other person needs to have that ceremony. What then? That's a legitimate question by the way, I'm not berating you.
Throbbing Member
What would any of you do in case their partner did find marriage essential? The relationship is great and all, yet the other person needs to have that ceremony. What then? That's a legitimate question by the way, I'm not berating you.
Banned
ooh excellent thread
I travel a lot and need to be free to roam. Everyone I know who is married and/or has kids just ends up bitching about what a burden it is. Scares the shit out of me
there's too many people in this world to settle on just one person for the rest of your life. Like these kids getting married at 18, 19, and 20. How the fuck do you know you've found the one you want to be with for the rest of your life at that age?
I've never been one to adhere to the "proximity relationship" thing either. Just because I live in one town doesn't mean my dream partner isn't living somewhere else entirely
God is an American
Define "essential". Marriage is supposed to be a union of two people, after all... if they find having another person united to them is essential to what defines who they are, then I'm not going to be terribly interested in them. This is a discussion you should have relatively early in a long-term relationship (within the first year or so) and if they aren't going to budge on their opinion then it's a pretty clear sign there'll be trouble down the road.Originally Posted by Alexandros
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No one answered me so I'm reposting my question (sorry about that, I won't re-repost it however, I promise), because I'd really like to know what you guys think about a situation like this:
Down, but not out.
I think botley answered you, and I suppose I'll try to answer your question as well. Oh, and that's no problem at all. If I was curious, asked a question, and didn't receive any responses, I'd try to bring it up more than once too.
As for me, I would try not to bring it up. This also has a lot more to do with the fact that I'm very uncertain about marriage altogether. Even if I had the means to provide for a relationship financially, I wouldn't be prepared for marriage mentally or emotionally even though I have a tendency to be romantic. (Then again, marriage obviously isn't all fun, games and romance.) If people want to get married, I'm okay with that, but not if they wanted to prod other people into marriage.
So in several ways, I'm definitely with botley on this one. The same can also be said about a childfree person dating somebody that wants to eventually become a mother or a father.
Last edited by Halo Infinity; 12-08-2011 at 10:04 AM.
Throbbing Member
^^I completely missed botley's answer, don't know how I managed to do that! Sorry, botley.
How about the situation which I'm describing in my other post (#33, I am not requoting!), where it may be a bit more complicated than one person's opinion?
Stubby Member
I think there's always the chance of compromise, and by that I don't mean totally giving in. If it's the cold and hard legal part that you find gross about marriage, you could do a purely symbolic wedding, involving your loved ones and possibly your religion. That way you both are mentally, ceremonially tied for life- it's really not the state's business anyway, so their thoughts on your relationship shouldn't matter, and why should your partner care about it?
My husband didn't find it essential, but I could tell how much he wanted to go through with it (he even flew out to speak with my parents, since he knew of their disapproval when we started dating), so I wasn't going to tell him no when I wasn't completely negative about marriage, mostly passive.
Active Member
Well, I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they posses inside! Give them a sense of pride!
Bite me
I decided, long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadow.
Throbbing Member
I would take the exact same attitude towards it that I do right now: it's just a piece of paper.
Throbbing Member
Hah, it's funny you came back to this now, because I'm getting married to the girl in question in a little more than two weeks! It's basically how you said, we've been together for nine years now, so marriage is not really a game-changer for us. And there is also an added benefit: I will be going to Singapore for a PhD as of January, and us being married is the only way she can come and live with me in the campus (which she will). The way things turned out, the decision to marry her proved to be very easy for me (which it wasn't two years back when I posed the question), which in turn was kind of a small revelation. I was like "Of course we'll marry now, I want us to be together over there".
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