As an only child, much of my personality and development was shaped by the struggle between how to follow my natural instincts toward autonomy, and guilt over not fitting in or doing what was expected of me. I struggled with being completely certain of who I was on the one hand, and trying to live up to external expectations on the other. I also loved and craved the freedom, safety, and reliability of being alone, but still wanted to be on a team. Eventually, I developed an attitude that at times bordered on near-pointless defiance, never wanting any help, but I also honed an ability to achieve pinpoint focus and intent, with a concurrent and nearly complete inability to follow protocol when it didn’t make innate sense, or feel right to or for me.