Conspiracy Theories

[allegate]

[klyrish]

True story or not, that legitimately gave me goosebumps at the end.

[cdm]

Imagine the scene when the martian recon party returns to the mothership in full-on high fructose corn syrup sugar rush.

[poinoup]

"Fruit snacks, humans? Really? At least send us some Soda Licious."

[fillow]

Rosetta Stoned by Tool sounds more plausible than this

[elevenism]

UFO disclosure is happening at an alarming rate. The rest of the intelligence agencies have until June, I think, to release what they know to the senate...as if they're really going to do that.

I always figured there was life in the universe, but that it didn't come HERE. But the shit the CIA has already released SURE has made me wonder. And, 10 to 1, they didn't release everything. It's the fucking CIA.

It's speeding up, though. And I wonder where this shit is going to lead. I have a feeling that we might hear some sheer insanity in '22.

[skip niklas]

Phew, it's been a minute! Glad to see you guys kept the lights on. How about that Margaret Sanger? Do we count that one as a score for CT'ers yet?

[allegate]

two doctors who treated Navalny have died

conspiracy theorists: nah, need more evidence


Hillary Clinton ordered pizza via a phone app

Conspiracy theorists: See, she went to the pizza shop and paid with a special credit card that opened up a secret door in the freezer that led to the downstairs where there are 10K underage kids being sold for sex

[allegate]

[allegate]

so either Paltrow is giving T to women or Jones is giving Estrogen to men.

[DVYDRNS]

or its just Maca Root, which gets everyone goin.

[allegate]

oh sure if you want to take the fun out of the conspiracy.

[DVYDRNS]

heheh

[elevenism]

So you guys still think i'm crazy for starting the "Real Lights In The Sky" thread, now that the pentagon is verifying all this shit, and the FBI and CIA and such are declassifying everything? You awful bastards?

The funny thing is, I NEVER thought that UFOs were visiting earth. And, i still don't.

Here's my new conspiracy theory.

The "UAPs" in the videos are AMERICAN.

Someone saw them who wasn't supposed to, and, now, the gvmt is pretending like they don't know what they are.

I've a very good friend who is fairly high up in the air force. When i asked him about this shit, he said, and i quote, "Dude, the stuff we have is more technologically advanced by 30-50 years, than what is known and visible to people who aren't supposed to know about it. And, that's all i can say."

So...is that it?

[elevenism]

Also, you fuckers are turning the frogs gay.

[Archive_Reports]

So you guys still think i'm crazy for starting the "Real Lights In The Sky" thread, now that the pentagon is verifying all this shit, and the FBI and CIA and such are declassifying everything? You awful bastards?

The funny thing is, I NEVER thought that UFOs were visiting earth. And, i still don't.

Here's my new conspiracy theory.

The "UAPs" in the videos are AMERICAN.

Someone saw them who wasn't supposed to, and, now, the gvmt is pretending like they don't know what they are.

I've a very good friend who is fairly high up in the air force. When i asked him about this shit, he said, and i quote, "Dude, the stuff we have is more technologically advanced by 30-50 years, than what is known and visible to people who aren't supposed to know about it. And, that's all i can say."

So...is that it?

None of that would be surprising at all. If there are other species out there somewhere who have figured out how to travel all the way here, we're not going to see them unless they want us to. The government fucking up and letting people see stuff they weren't supposed to is far more believable.

[elevenism]

None of that would be surprising at all. If there are other species out there somewhere who have figured out how to travel all the way here, we're not going to see them unless they want us to. The government fucking up and letting people see stuff they weren't supposed to is far more believable.

That's seriously what I'm thinking. I mean, look at all the shit we developed at Groom Lake: the U2, the D21 Tagboard, the Oxcart thing, and god knows what else.

Also, think of the development of the stealth bombers and such.

So, what are we developing in 2020 and 2021?

F22 Raptors in new pretty colors?

I swear to god, I think I've solved this one.

[fillow]

None of that would be surprising at all. If there are other species out there somewhere who have figured out how to travel all the way here, we're not going to see them unless they want us to. The government fucking up and letting people see stuff they weren't supposed to is far more believable.

This logic has so many flaws in it.
For starters, if some species has the ability to travel here just to watch us, then they just as likely would be able to simply watch us from far away. What's the point of this anyway? It's also funny how alien races always given human-like motivations and behavior models. If they are more advanced then us, then we just monkeys to them and we'll have no comprehension of what they are doing or thinking.

Then there's always secrets that governments hides from us. First of all, governments don't own the most advanced tech, or at least they aren't the only ones who do. Scientists and private companies do. Which means if there is a real alien UFO in sky, tons of people and instruments will detect it. Look how many whistleblowers and leaks (with proof) are out there on any given topic in the modern civilization. You think discovery of real alien tech or alien life can be kept a secret for longer than 0.0001 second? Dream on.

[elevenism]

So my VERY favorite conspiracy things nowadays is watching these INSANE televangelists and "prophets" working trump into their theology, lying about the bible, telling their god given "visions" to their millions of followers, and the like. It's top notch entertainment.

And this guy, Telltale Atheist, is the king of keeping up with all this insanity.

Seriously: watch this video. If you get a kick out of it, there's WAY more where that came from, on his channel.

By the way, there's a lot more than just the "eye" thing in this video. This Robin D. Bullock lunatic, who is a PASTOR, spews all KINDS of insanity.

[Jon]

This Robin D. Bullock lunatic, who is a PASTOR, spews all KINDS of insanity.

This is exactly why university/academic certification should be required to become a pastor. "Failed" musician and writer, turns the grift towards religion in 2018. Their "church" is a warehouse only partially converted into a sound stage/studio, and the parishioners are almost certainly workers and/or family friends:

[elevenism]

This is exactly why university/academic certification should be required to become a pastor. "Failed" musician and writer, turns the grift towards religion in 2018. Their "church" is a warehouse only partially converted into a sound stage/studio, and the parishioners are almost certainly workers and/or family friends:

I mean, my ancestral family church has always required pastors to have a degree. And the churches that don't at least generally require EXTENSIVE vetting for ministers, and PREFER preachers with a degree.

I think a big ass part of the problem is these internet "ministries" and, god help us, self proclaimed "prophets," not to mention the fact that they let some of these fucking lunatics on TV.

At least it's entertaining.

[allegro]

I’m an ordained minister. I can officiate at weddings and everything. I have official credentials.

It took me about 5 seconds online.

[MrLobster]

I'm an official Discordian Pope. And by reading this, now so are you. Fnord.

[MrLobster]

Premium Episode 133: Operation Mindfuck & Discordianism (Sample) by QAnon Anonymous (Soundcloud/podcast link)

[allegate]

[elevenism]

Have you guys heard of Dead Internet Theory? It's kind of out there: basically that the internet was completely turned off by the gvmt and replaced by a new internet created and populated almost entirely by AI, and used for the purposes of mass data collection, controlling narratives, keeping people engaged by showing them incendiary content, and making money.

I watched a long ass YouTube video about it. And, no, I don't think the Internet was "replaced." But the more I listened to this theory, the more I realized that the THEME of the thing IS...well, the theorist is on the right track. YouTube is increasingly sterile. We don't "surf the web" anymore, finding interesting niche websites. instead we go to the same handful of easily moderated websites where we argue about shit and have ads shoved in our collective face, where what we see is controlled by an ai algorithm. Information is becoming centralized and homogenized.
And I've seen a couple of studies claiming that there are more bots than people online. I could go on and on.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, as outlandish as "REAL INTERNET ENDED FIVE YEARS AGO" sounds, the kernels of truth that brought this cat to that conclusion are fairly disheartening. It's not a CONSPIRACY, exactly.

I think it's just kind of "what's happened," as things have become more monotized, corporatized, "optimized," and such.

Edit: I found this article from The Atlantic; this theory seemed to hit the author the same way it hit me.

[marodi]

@elevenism I get what you mean. I have to look a lot of stuff online for my mom, who just turned 80, and I get bombarded with ads about walkers and bathtub security devices. Facebook is the worst: if I happen to watch a video of cats being funny, then all I see in my feed are pages about cat videos and cat rescue pages etc. Algorithms rule everything.

But what's truly creeping me out is when I'm being showed ads about something I haven't search about but I've been talking about it. For example: my mother and I have talked about buying a cat tree for her kitty. And suddenly, I'm seeing ads about cat trees. I believe it's the different algorithms expanding for searches I've made or videos I've watched. Like: "oh, she likes cats so let's show her cat videos, cat news and also cat food, cat toys, cat trees..."

Still, it's creepy.

[thelastdisciple]

We don't "surf the web" anymore, finding interesting niche websites. instead we go to the same handful of easily moderated websites where we argue about shit and have ads shoved in our collective face, where what we see is controlled by an ai algorithm. Information is becoming centralized and homogenized.

I would add that i think a big part of the reason people don't really surf the web to find niche websites anymore is down to how much of those sites were insecure and infested with malware in the past. For better or worse I think people became a lot smarter with their browsing habits and stuck to what was more reliable and safe, that in combination with the shift to smartphones from desktop computers and the way those sites compete for our attention and make us continue to use them. There's also the way development and technology for websites changed with the focus on social media and their compatibility with smart devices, there's Web 1.0 which was 1991 to 2004 and Web 2.0 thereafter for example. Web 3.0 is assumed to be when blockchain and decentralized networks are more of a commonplace technology and this will bring more control to the individual when it comes to data ownership and getting away from the tech giants. Things just might come full circle after all? I guess it will also depend on how the social consciousness shifts.

[elevenism]

@marodi I swear to god the voice thing has happened with my wife and I around these Alexa tablets. It also makes me think of how hard intelligence agencies and police used to have to work to bug people's houses. But now, everyone has a listening device in their home. I don't think it's a stretch to assume that this could happen, after Snowden exposed Prism, and "collect it all" and the complicity of cell phone companies.

Also, my mom's new tv, in the manual, it literally tells you not to have sensitive conversations near the tv. It says something like "your sensitive and personal.conversations may be part of the data sent to a third party to better our voice recognition system," no shit.

Here's this video I watched re: Dead Internet Theory. This presenter kind of sucks and I'm sure there's a better video, but this, and the Atlantic article explained it better than I did.

[allegate]