Body Image

[Charmingly Miserable]

So, reading the latest posts on the Fucking Thread got me thinking about body image. While obesity is on the rise here in America, what is your personal opinion on who is fat and who isn't? Is a little cushion for the pushin acceptable or only skinniness is acceptable? Do you feel comfortable in your own body?

I'm 5'1" and I'm a size 10/12. That makes me short and curvy. At times, I battle with myself that I'm way too fat and that there is no way that I can land a relationship/job/etc because of my size. Then again, at other times, I don't think much of it because I am one in 42.5% of Hispanics who are overweight. While I realize that this is just purely a mental distortion, I can't help but to wonder about my body image.

Just would like to know what your thoughts are on this.

[Ryan]

My thoughts are... it doesn't matter how you look as long as alcohol exists.

[Sarah K]

The average size in the US for women is now 14. So, you're actually on the small side.

I'm huge! Lol... as in, I've lost 130 pounds, and could still lose 100 more, most likely. When I stopped doing drugs, I started eating EVERYTHING, and I fucked myself. However, I am now at a lower weight than what I was in high school - so I've always been giant.

I have no illusions that I'll ever be skinny and prancing around in a bikini or anything. I just want to find a healthier place. I'll be 30 this year, so I feel some urgency on this back end of the weight loss. I feel like if I don't do it within the next couple of years, I realistically never will.

I've touched on this on facebook before - how there is a pretty dark and ugly side to big weight loss. The skin issues. They never address that shit on the tv shows. I find myself reaching a tipping point... wondering if it is better to stay where I am, and just be a fat person who is pretty comfotable being naked... or keep working towards losing weight, and end up having to deal with the self image that will be created when I have to deal with shitty, loose skin everywhere.

You're fucked either way.

[Fixer808]

5'7" or so, 215lbs or so. Do not like my current weight for health and aesthetic reasons. But what can I do? Work out like a fiend and try to drop 40lbs? Do nothing and maybe gain some?
I'm 33, I've already exceeded a medieval lifespan, so... SCORE!

[icklekitty]

I'm 4ft 10 and 32f. Nothing else matters.

I don't know why but I've never been that plagued by body image. Maybe it all washed over me from growing up with an overly critical mother, but I look the way I look and if you don't like the way I look then don't put your genitals near me.

[theimage13]

I'm a dude. A little shy of 5'9", and barely pushing 140lb.

If you're thinking "I wish I was thin," kindly shove it. Part of the reason the best relationship of my life ended is that her parents, being from another country where "manliness" is a huge deal, looked down on me as "anorexic" and "pathetic", which got into her head and played a large role in our demise (ironic, since from the start she was saying "good thing you're not overweight - health and fitness are extremely important to me and added weight tells me you're not interested in treating your body well). Sigh. For my own reasons (namely, being healthy and being able to better live and work as a roadie without getting sick or injured), I go to the gym several times a week to lift, and add cardio in as well. If I gain any definition in the process, that's just a bonus.

As for what I'm attracted to? I think growing up the scrawny guy made me long for the same sort of frame in a woman. Between my own stature and my passion for fitness, an active lifestyle, and generally treating yourself well, I'm extremely attracted to women who look like they're the sort you'd run into at the gym or out running on a Saturday morning instead of sleeping off a night of binge drinking. But there definitely is such a thing as too small, in my book. I was working with some models for an athletic apparel photo shoot recently, and while none of them looked like they were underweight to a point of being unhealthy, there's something to be said about having some meat on your bones.

I'll be honest: if your doctor would call you obese, I'm not physically attracted to you. I do not believe that that makes you universally unattractive. I'm just one guy. I have several friends who are younger than me, married to people literally twice my weight, and overwhelmingly in love with each other. Being single for the vast majority of my life, I'm envious of that, and I wish that my brain didn't make me so damn picky about what I find attractive. But I know that a healthy long term relationship requires you to not only love the person for their personality, but there has to be a little bit of sexual pull as well. For what it's worth: you can have a body that drives me wild, but if you're acting in an unflattering manner or we just don't get along at all, I'm not going to be interested in you. Looks matter, but not as much as who you are.

[Ryan]

I'm 4ft 10 and 32f. Nothing else matters.

I don't know why but I've never been that plagued by body image. Maybe it all washed over me from growing up with an overly critical mother, but I look the way I look and if you don't like the way I look then don't put your genitals near me.

She is what we call an ickle English meatball.

[Tony Gordon]

So, reading the latest posts on the Fucking Thread got me thinking about body image. While obesity is on the rise here in America, what is your personal opinion on who is fat and who isn't? Is a little cushion for the pushin acceptable or only skinniness is acceptable? Do you feel comfortable in your own body?

I'm 5'1" and I'm a size 10/12. That makes me short and curvy. At times, I battle with myself that I'm way too fat and that there is no way that I can land a relationship/job/etc because of my size. Then again, at other times, I don't think much of it because I am one in 42.5% of Hispanics who are overweight. While I realize that this is just purely a mental distortion, I can't help but to wonder about my body image.

Just would like to know what your thoughts are on this.

First off, obesity is not accurately "on the rise". It's always been. America is the most over weight country in the world, and they own that statistic by a huge margin, much like the military and prison industrial complex statistics.

It all goes back to capitalism. If people wanted to fight obesity, it's impossible when every holiday in this country revolves around spending a bunch of money and stuffing your face, with Christmas being the big outcome that they all build up to.

You shouldn't feel bad for being "big". The main reason that obesity should be a problem is for health reasons. It has it's hazards with health and that's it but you really are not that big. Don't feel bad about yourself, we all look like shit.

[liquidcalm]

I always thought I was short and kinda fat... but when I began actually opening up about me not liking myself / my body image... I have quickly realised (or been told at least) that being 5ft 8 and being 10 stone is actually on the slim side, I know I'm not that fit, but yeah, I'm not fat... issues are odd.

[eversonpoe]

i was anorexic & bulimic in high school for a multitude of reasons, and have still occasionally struggled with those issues as an adult.

a lot of it stems from my gender dysmorphia, because i simply don't see what i expect to see when i look in the mirror, but there are definitely other contributing factors.

[Big Fat Matt]

Being overweight is kinda cool because the cold doesn't bother me. I'm fine with how I look to myself, but the biggest hurdle is not just being wide, but also very tall (I'm about 6'5" 320lbs). 0.2% of bands sells shirts that are in a 4xlt. Good thing Casual Male XL stocks shirts of classic rock bands I like.

[Ryan]

I used to be skinny as a rake, then I drank lots of beer and put on a bit of a gut and a bit of facial flab I need to work off. Aside from that I'm happy, apart from being 5'6" but whatcha gonna do. I'm taller than Danzig so I'm happy.

[Sarah K]

Being overweight is kinda cool because the cold doesn't bother me.

This is a fat person benefit that I missed out on. I'm always shivering.

[Sarah K]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstei...a-bikini-on-it

RELEVANT TO MY FIRST POST

[allegro]

First off, obesity is not accurately "on the rise". It's always been.

That's not true. We haven't "always" been obese in this country.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I'm a dude. A little shy of 5'9", and barely pushing 140lb.

If you're thinking "I wish I was thin," kindly shove it.

My ex husband is 5'10" and wishes he was 140 lbs. Needless to say, he was on the thin side.

I think, for me, my idealistic weight would be about 30 lbs lighter. I would still be considered overweight, but I like my Hispanic curves.

I think that geography influences body image. I mean, I live in Southern California, and we are kinda vain. However, I also think that cultural heritage also influences body image too. I'm Hispanic, and we like our curves.

[Sarah K]

I get real pissed when fat people say shit like LOL EAT A SANDWICH LOL about thin people. These sre the same people who are constantly making a fuss about how they are always being "shamed" for their weight, but don't realize/care that they are doing the exact same thing to those on the other end of the spectrum.

I also hate any saying that begins with REAL WOMEN HAVE... god. What a shitty thing to say. Real women come in all shapes, sizes, and bodies.

[eversonpoe]

I also hate any saying that begins with REAL WOMEN HAVE... god. What a shitty thing to say. Real women come in all shapes, sizes, and bodies.

indeed. some women even have penises. gender (along with self) is a very personal thing and i hate it when people try to define it for others.

[theimage13]

I also hate any saying that begins with REAL WOMEN HAVE... god. What a shitty thing to say. Real women come in all shapes, sizes, and bodies.

I try to avoid ads as much as possible, but I thought all these "real women" campaigns were supposed to be about just that - "real women" meaning all shapes, sizes, and bodies. Am I completely missing something here?

[Sarah K]

I don't mean the ad campaigns. I mean when people say shit like "Real women have curves".

Well, fucking no, they don't. Some women are born with no curves at all. That doesn't make them less than anyone else.

Like, I guess I understand the vague message behind it - to promote positivity for bodies. But I don't think promoting one body type has to mean excluding others.

[allegro]

"Real Women [insert whatever message here]" = bullshit.

[allegro]

or keep working towards losing weight, and end up having to deal with the self image that will be created when I have to deal with shitty, loose skin everywhere.

My cousin had that skin-removal surgery, she said she looks great, now. She didn't do it for anybody else's body image of her, she did it for herself. As like a gift, I guess.

[BrownEyedStatistic]

If you're fat. You're fat.
If you're skinny. You're skinny.

But just because you're fat, doesn't mean you are not pretty.
Just because you're skinny, does not mean you're pretty either.

And losing weight doesn't make everyone look better.
Nor does gaining weight.

I've been on both ends of the spectrum.
And I've seen all parts of the spectrum.

I don't feel anymore attractive than I have before.
But I do see people as far less attractive than I have before.
I do feel more feminine.
And I my viewpoint of what's feminine and masculine has changed.
But it's not because I've lost weight.
It is the distribution of my weight.

[Sarah K]

My cousin had that skin-removal surgery, she said she looks great, now. She didn't do it for anybody else's body image of her, she did it for herself. As like a gift, I guess.

Yeah. I have nothing against the surgeries or anything. If that day ever comes, I would totally be down for them. It's just the cost... it isn't something that is ever realistically going to be in my budget.

[playwithfire]

This is wonderful.

[eversonpoe]

When I watch American Psycho, and he's banging those two prostitutes and flexing in the mirror, I really identify with that part. Maybe because I grew up on Genesis and Phil Collins?

I'm completely comfortable with my body image. I work out when my schedule permits and pay attention to what I'm putting inside me. But I honestly couldn't give a fuck less what anyone thinks of my appearance. The notion that I'm busting my ass to appeal to strangers or society is absolutely ludicrous. If you're going to judge me at a moment's notice on how I look, then you aren't worth a moment of my time. You live for yourself, not for anyone else.

I refuse to fall in with that self-conscious rat race that seemingly dominates so many people's lives. Look good and feel good for yourself, and no one else.

when i read that first sentence, i got worried a little. and then your joke made me laugh and i relaxed. haha

i totally agree with you. the problem comes with the "look good and feel good for yourself" bit, because if you're not happy with how you look/feel, sometimes it is REALLY hard to get out of it.

my fiancee and i both gained weight after we started dating, and as of this month, we've been together for three years. we're getting married in september, and we both want to look and feel our best.
she hates her job (which takes up 11 hours of her day, including commute time) and almost always comes home upset. she then either doesn't have the energy or the time to exercise. she (like me) uses food as a tactic to cheer herself up, so half the time we have a healthy(ish) dinner planned, but end up eating tacos or pizza.
i've been trying to be better about not enabling her, because i am always so inclined to just want her to feel better immediately, thus abandoning the plans for healthy food and going for unhealthy food so that she's not miserable for the rest of the night (we only get about 4 hours a night together before she goes to sleep because she has to get up early for her job).
i try to ride my bike as much as possible so that i don't have to exercise at home, but sometimes i exercise at the same time as her to help give her some motivation.
the other big problem for me is that i hate vegetables (other than green beans, tomatoes, & cucumbers). i love food and i refuse to make myself eat something i don't enjoy, so i just try really hard to not eat too much junk. and i eat about 1/2 as much dessert as i used to eat.

anyway, what i'm saying is that getting oneself to a place of positive body image can be a very difficult thing. but with the right motivation, we're going to do it.

(and for the record, i actually love the way she looks now, but if she's uncomfortable with herself, i'm going to encourage her to get to a place where she's not)

[playwithfire]

My boyfriend and I would both like to be in better shape, but we're both super attracted to each other. I love his body and I don't give a shit if he loses weight. I'm insecure, but I hope and think he feel similarly.

My body image isn't always the greatest, but I try to love and accept myself.

That said, I want to get in better shape and plan to start taking burlesque classes in June.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I struggle with who would want do date my short and "chubby" self. But that's just me being totally insecure. I'm sure I have the body of a goddess in someone's eyes. I have big brown eyes and lips to lust over for. I know looks don't mean everything but they sure do help. *Sigh* I'm just acting like a teenager, I guess.

[Sarah K]

POST PICS IN THR PIC THREAD

Ugh. I have a really hard time differentiating between people here, because I can't put faces with names.

[Charmingly Miserable]

POST PICS IN THR PIC THREAD

Ugh. I have a really hard time differentiating between people here, because I can't put faces with names.

Really stupid question: Wait, we have one????