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Thread: Life in general: does it suck or is it awesome?

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    Life in general: does it suck or is it awesome?

    I started this thread for life events that are chronic or less dramatic than HFWYD or "Outbursts."

    For those of you not on Facebook, my kiddo was diagnosed with autism about a month ago. It's a crazy maze of different types of therapy and insurance coverage, financial planning and/or concerns, etc. Worse is how unpredictable the future is.

    Anyway, lock this if it's a stupid thread. I needed to get this off my chest.

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    "Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
    And then is heard no more. It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing."

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    Thank you, Mr Shakespeare. Very impressive.

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    Without getting into all the details, I've got some things building right now that are causing me huge anxiety. I'm barely getting sleep any more, and I am in a state of anxiety most of the day. It's getting really bad, and I'm potentially in a pretty scary situation that I don't know how to deal with. It's too much. I'm hoping to go to a therapist as soon as humanly possible, but I'm pretty broke at the moment, and last time I went I think it was something crazy like a 40 dollar copay per visit, which I can't afford at the moment. I'll have to double check on my benefits. I might be remembering wrong and/or it might have changed.

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    While I'm usually in an uncertain mode of figuring out whether life sucks or life's awesome, I just find life to be very scary and unpleasant sometimes, but I really try to be grateful and treat others with kindness and respect, as I would like to be treated with kindness and respect in return. If anything, I'm just looking forward to being okay with myself and others most of the time.

    Being okay is actually just fine with me, and that's all I could ever ask for most of the time. Then again, if given the opportunity, I'd obviously make a selection for awesomeness 24/7/365. But that's really just wishful thinking on my behalf.
    Last edited by Halo Infinity; 12-02-2011 at 12:31 AM.

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    Life is proving itself to be more and more fascinating. Learning about things like human nature in my philosophy class, to seeing minute changes in myself (good and bad), aka learning how I "work", and learning how absurd a lot of everything is. And you know, always with a large portion of general cynicism and default hatred for humanity inability to rise out of it's fuckupness. But it's all still fascinating- whether it sucks or is awesome i don't think it's either...
    Last edited by halloween; 12-02-2011 at 12:49 AM. Reason: because my fingers type things without my consent.

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    I lost my dad to a very short battle with cancer in late September.

    Anything else I wanna say gets backspaced... But let's just say I am hanging in there.
    Last edited by Amaro; 12-02-2011 at 08:01 AM.

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    ugh I'm like horny and disgusted with myself at the same time because of my period. Is this appropriate talk for this thread? Sorry I just needed to vent that . OWwwwww

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    Quote Originally Posted by sublimaze View Post
    I started this thread for life events that are chronic or less dramatic than HFWYD or "Outbursts."

    For those of you not on Facebook, my kiddo was diagnosed with autism about a month ago. It's a crazy maze of different types of therapy and insurance coverage, financial planning and/or concerns, etc. Worse is how unpredictable the future is.

    Anyway, lock this if it's a stupid thread. I needed to get this off my chest.
    Sublimaze, my heart goes out to you and your family. Here for you whenever you need to vent or talk or whatever. Oh! And I have a few links to send you on FB.

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    My life on balance has been pretty awesome so far. I'd say it's been almost indescribably amazing for most of the past year in particular. I have ups and downs like anyone else, but I consider myself truly fortunate to be making a living doing work that I love, surrounded by people that I love, while also finally having enough security in my own skin to be happy by myself on my own terms. It took some long years and painful times to arrive there, and of course it's a fragile balance to maintain. But I am grateful for what I have and never take it for granted.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lunatica View Post
    ugh I'm like horny and disgusted with myself at the same time because of my period. Is this appropriate talk for this thread? Sorry I just needed to vent that . OWwwwww
    I love you.

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    I'm at a scary and nervous yet exciting and interesting time in my life at the moment. There's one thing about me that I haven't explicitly revealed to you yet, ETS (and my from what I have told you, haven't I had an interesting life so far?), and it's about to come to a head.

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    Wait, what's this about head?

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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I'm at a scary and nervous yet exciting and interesting time in my life at the moment. There's one thing about me that I haven't explicitly revealed to you yet, ETS (and my from what I have told you, haven't I had an interesting life so far?), and it's about to come to a head.
    If you come out as transgendered I'm going to be really pissed, because I'm the resident trans person on this board. God dammit.



    P.S. I'm totally kidding about that, to any other transgendered people that may or may not be on this board. Ok. Disclaimers are fun.

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    Life lately? To use metaphor: Little moments of fresh, quiet air in a shit storm.

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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I'm at a scary and nervous yet exciting and interesting time in my life at the moment. There's one thing about me that I haven't explicitly revealed to you yet, ETS (and my from what I have told you, haven't I had an interesting life so far?), and it's about to come to a head.
    Whenever you're ready. We'll support you 100% (unless you're a serial killer or something).

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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I'm at a scary and nervous yet exciting and interesting time in my life at the moment. There's one thing about me that I haven't explicitly revealed to you yet, ETS (and my from what I have told you, haven't I had an interesting life so far?), and it's about to come to a head.
    ... You're a man?

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    Also, Miss B thank you so much.

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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I'm at a scary and nervous yet exciting and interesting time in my life at the moment. There's one thing about me that I haven't explicitly revealed to you yet, ETS (and my from what I have told you, haven't I had an interesting life so far?), and it's about to come to a head.
    Quote Originally Posted by theruiner View Post
    If you come out as transgendered I'm going to be really pissed, because I'm the resident trans person on this board. God dammit.
    She has too many corsets, ruiner. And the Fakir Musafar look is sooooooooooo passe.

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    Speaking of life sucking, today i've been crying non stop due to school overwhelmness and people fucking touching me when i was trying to take a nap. I was on the bus for 30 minutes with tears just streaming down my face, i just could not stop it. fuuuck stress.

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    Quote Originally Posted by icklekitty View Post
    I'm at a scary and nervous yet exciting and interesting time in my life at the moment. There's one thing about me that I haven't explicitly revealed to you yet, ETS (and my from what I have told you, haven't I had an interesting life so far?), and it's about to come to a head.
    I have a feeling about what it may be, but it is not my place to disclose it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by halloween
    Speaking of life sucking, today i've been crying non stop due to school overwhelmness and people fucking touching me when i was trying to take a nap. I was on the bus for 30 minutes with tears just streaming down my face, i just could not stop it. fuuuck stress.
    I'm sure the lack of sleep doesn't help much either. I know it's likely useless advice but "hang in there". There is light at the end of that tunnel. Find the thing that soaks up stress the best for you and milk that whenever you can. For me, it's running outside, drinking hot tea or browsing candy stores.
    Last edited by sentient02970; 12-02-2011 at 08:54 PM. Reason: oops fprgpt tp quote! I'm such a noob!

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    Quote Originally Posted by sublimaze View Post
    Whenever you're ready. We'll support you 100% (unless you're a serial killer or something).
    (Or if she kicked puppies...)

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    Quote Originally Posted by leo3375 View Post
    I have a feeling about what it may be, but it is not my place to disclose it.
    Holy shit. I knew it but I was in denial. Icklekitty is Trent.

    This explains the love of corsets!


    Quote Originally Posted by Torgo View Post
    (Or if she kicked puppies...)
    If she kicked a furry, though, I think we'd all be ok with that.
    Last edited by theruiner; 12-02-2011 at 09:51 PM. Reason: I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to post properly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by theruiner View Post
    Holy shit. I knew it but I was in denial. Icklekitty is Trent.

    This explains the love of corsets!



    If she kicked a furry, though, I think we'd all be ok with that.
    I wish I could like this post, but I turned my ETS viewing into "Johnbron Mode" and nixed the facebook connection.

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    ^^^ I was thinking maybe she agreed to have Christos' baby, but we all know he just want to eat it so maybe not.

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    I feel like I'm working/studying my life away. I know all the generic "It'll be worth in the end" but I've been doing this my whole life and I don't feel like I'm getting any closer to a goal.
    Plus it kinda takes a toll on the social life too. I've been left out of all sorts of outings because of all the work I do. But life in general is alright, it just feels really bland at the moment.
    Last edited by waffel; 12-02-2011 at 11:56 PM. Reason: bleh I'm tired

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    Ooh I am the centre of attention! Yes, I like being a girl way too much and while Trent is sometimes a girl and always likes his own way, that is not so. I wouldn't kick a puppy but I'd deffo kick Christo's baby.

    Quote Originally Posted by leo3375 View Post
    I have a feeling about what it may be, but it is not my place to disclose it.
    I am curious, you should PM me.

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    This thread is about perfect for me at this point. This past year and a half have tossed me around like a sock in a dryer. While i was in samoa this past summer i got a message from a 14 year old girl who said i was her dad. (too much to go into here but it looks like crazy bitch wasn't lying after all). She seems like a good kid in a good place thought so at least there's that. Moved into a new place with the ex at the start of the semester which was turned out the be the 2nd most stressful thing i've had to do recently. Ended up dropping a class cause i couldn't afford to drop hours at my job, on top of all my classes having ridiculous amounts of reading and writing to do (beats doing any type of math though). Continuing issues with the lady not helped by the added stress which led to us splitting up and me having to move again only this time near the end of the semester, most stressful thing (ongoing) i've done in some time. Been sleeping on the floor and buying dollar hotdogs. Right before we broke up, after going out for 8 years. I had to drop $1300 on my truck to get it fixed and that only took 6 weeks to finish which made getting around a pain in the ass during that time. Suddenly i found myself with no vehicle and short on funds to pay for it, effectively homeless, and flat fucking broke. Then after i find a place and get sort of moved in some fuck yards smashed out my window to steal my broken stereo just before winter hits. This past month has been a real test of my will.

    I will say though that I can't really complain too much. I'm still barely able to feed myself (one of the best things i love about being a cook is i get to graze ) and put gas in my truck, but even with all this I find myself mostly at ease with everything. I've long thought I have good luck in bad situations, a continuation of my life as a walking contradiction (no green day reference intended). My friends have been nothing short of amazing and have helped out in almost every way. School is still looking very iffy as my time is short and i have lots of work to try and finish but i will at least pass my classes which is all i can hope for at this point. I did manage to find a nice apt for way cheap, with a cool landlord who let me slide on the deposit so i could move in, he even gave me a kitchen table. I rescued a random ivy of some sort from the street a while back that looked like it wasn't going to make it after ruling around in the middle of the road for however long but it seems to be coming back to life a sporting new sprouts so that's cool, I can't help but feel the plant as a sort of visual representation of how my life has been.

    So does life suck or is it awesome? I've thought about this a lot over the years and I can now say that life is what it is. Good and bad are simply colors in a spectrum. IDK maybe i just ran out of give a fuck or am on the verge of a break down but I'm looking forward to see what happens next. I've been saying for the last while now that it was gonna be one of those years and in many more ways than one it has been. One thing i can say for sure is that life is one wild fucking ride, and I'm anxious to see what happens next.

    Edit: Forgot to mention i found my first two grey hairs. Hopefully ill look all pimp Clooney style one day.
    Last edited by Pillfred; 12-03-2011 at 01:32 PM.

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    Hot damn pillfred! now i feel silly for crying all day yesterday over fucking photos. It's awesome that you sound so optimistic in the face of such shitty events!

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