The Non-Drinker/Smoker Thread or What do drinkers really think of non-drinkers?

**Halo Infinity** · 09-20-2013, 11:00 PM

What made you quit drinking/smoking? What made you choose to not start drinking/smoking? I also bring this up because I have a hard time understanding why some drinkers don't like being around non-drinkers. Of course, if the non-drinker was to get all preachy, derogatory, judgmental, and pompous, I could see that, but if that's not the case, why is it such a problem? And from the looks if it, it seems like some drinkers wouldn't want to be around quiet people too. Is it really because they believe that quiet people can't be trusted, especially when they're sober due to harboring secrets and telling lies? That was another argument I came across aside from non-drinkers being a buzzkills, control freaks, or complete and utter bores.

And I feel like it's bad to impose on either side. I didn't go around telling people to stop drinking, and I'm actually not a teetotaler at this point of my life either, but I also didn't feel compelled to convert everybody into drinkers the same way I don't try to convert vegetarians/vegans into eating meat. I even feel the same way about them too. As long as they're not condemning me and ridiculing me for eating meat, I could be cool with them too. I also hope I didn't offend any drinkers here. I'm all for your right to drink as much as you please, like how I'm for a vegetarian/vegan to abstain from as much meat and animal products as they please despite how much I love beef. And even if I was a teetotaler, I'd do a thing called mind my damn business.

This topic has always piqued my curiosity ever since I was ragged on for not drinking by drinkers. And while I'm not a teetotaler at this point of my life, my lifestyle is a straight-edge kind of lifestyle in a way. There was even a woman I liked that refused to explain why me not drinking was a problem. She just assumed that I was judging her even when I didn't say anything bad to her. Me not smoking made her feel bad too.

I think this could also be a non-smoker thread as well. Oh, and since I changed my mind far too late on including the word smoker, the drinking and smoking parts could be interchangeable here.

**Leviathant** · 09-21-2013, 09:00 AM

I don't smoke because my mom was a nurse and because I'm a cheapskate. I don't drink because I'm a cheapskate, and getting drunk doesn't actually make me feel good. As a non-drinker (with the exception of having a Guiness on Friday at lunch, because I ironically get free drinks at work) I find beer/booze culture extraordinarily tiring, and see alcoholism a very prevalent... thing. Anyone who tells you that a non-drinker is a buzzkill, a bore, or a control freak, is projecting their own desire to control, their own insecurity about being boring, and clearly they're killing any fun you're having. I'm 33, and I think everyone I knew who was like that has been filtered out of my life by now, either through social decisions, or through high speed collisions.

A few years ago, word came through Facebook that two guys I went to high school with were killed in a high-speed car accidenton the way back from a bachelor party for one of them. They were always kind of douchey, and fuck them for getting totally shitfaced 60 miles away from home (because you gotta party before you're locked down to the ball and chain, bro!) and deciding to drive themselves back. I'm just glad they didn't take anyone else out when they careened off the highway.

As a non-drinker, I am always happy to take the keys. I've driven the van for two bachelor parties for friends. Just the other week, I had thrown a big bash, and one of my central PA friends was completely smashed, and someone saw him walking to his car. I caught up with him, and drove him to my house where he slept it off. It was my 10th anniversary party, but I'll put that aside if it means I can keep one more drunk driver off the road. (Again, this guy was over 120 miles away from home, having trouble stringing words together, and he's old enough to fucking know better)

I generally don't make a big deal out of not drinking. If anyone gives me a hard time about drinking (and that almost never happens anymore), I let them buy me drinks that I pour onto the floor, or into other people's drinks. People used to buy me shots when I drummed in a punk band, and I'd whip em over my shoulder, miming as though I was drinking them down.
I'd like to start telling people I'm a recovering alcoholic if they bug me about it - but again, most people don't anymore. That's probably because I don't generally hang out with college-age people.

When I take month-long trips to Australia or roadtrips around the US, and people ask me how I can afford it, my go-to is that I don't drink or smoke. It's incredible to me what people will spend on drinks when they go out.

I do think there'd be far fewer assaults, rapes, murders, and so forth, if it weren't for the prevalence of cheap alcohol, but things like that just aren't even worth philosophizing about in western civilization. It's not going to happen, and even if it were to happen, it would be driven by the wrong kind of people (see also: American prohibition)

Edit: Oh yeah, even though I don't 'do drugs' or smoke, and only a few years ago started the 'have a drink at lunch on Friday' thing, I would like to point out that I have never ever called nor considered myself straightedge.

**october_midnight** · 09-21-2013, 09:09 AM

I don't smoke, but I drink regularly. I'm also not dependent upon it, which is, as Levi stated in a far more eloquent way, a great way to save money. I do a lot of my drinking at home or at my in-laws (there every Sunday for football and whatever) and even then, it's usually red wine or the occasional beer. I'm also not talking getting trashed all the time. As the body gets older, alcohol is one of the biggest kicks in the balls hangover-wise. If I occasionally do have too much, at a birthday or something...fuck my life I'm hungover for like 2.5 days. Definintely not worth it, and with the ever-increasing bills and expenses I have to deal with, it'd be a shame if I tossed a shit ton of money towards booze.

The first thing that goes through my mind whenever I actually am out and order my wife and I a drink or two...and see the bill for $40 or something is 'Christ, I could've had an entire bottle of decent wine for this'.

**binaryhermit** · 09-21-2013, 09:27 AM

I never felt the need to smoke and I stopped drinking because it was too expensive for me and didn't really do much for me. At this point, with the medications I'm on, it really wouldn't mix well with alcohol, so I really can't drink anyway.

**AgentofChaos** · 09-21-2013, 11:40 AM

I recently quit smoking not necessarily because I wanted to, I love it and always will, but because I have a significant other whom I love with all my heart and a family (no kids yet, maybe, maybe not) and I decided it was time to put my heath first. I still miss it, and may have a cigarette or two on the off evening if it calls for it, but even if I never have another smoke for the next 100 years I will always be a smoker. Just one that doesn't smoke. I simply want to live as long a life as possible so I can grow old with her and take care of her when she needs me too. I also want to be in better shape so I can do more and be more productive in our current lives. If she passes before me, after 50+ years of non smoking, the first thing I'd do, when I could muster it, is go and buy a pack of smokes as sad as that might be.

I don't really drink alcohol much anymore, I had an ulcer a while back, probably due to chronic drinking (5-6 nights a week at the pub for many years straight), and it just doesn't process well anymore, specifically beer. On a rare occasion I'll still have one or two with an old friend, but any more than that and I am asking for trouble with my stomach. If I go to the bar for a night or to a concert/club show, I will drink rye and gingers. They go down much easier. I do enjoy those nights, but they only come around a few nights a years now and I'm usually rolling without the lady so jd or cc = a bit of a harmless escape for me I suppose, plus especially when it involves music I do get a bit nostalgic going back to my live music days.

If we have a nice dinner or I have a cocktail type function I will drink red wine. I definitely appreciate a nice bottle of vino. When we want to spend a nice romantic evening alone, we'll go and get some nice bread, cheeses, and cured meats and make a platter, pour some wine, etc. We munch and get a buzz, throw some music on and have some fine slightly drunken sex. It's about as wild as we get and even that isn't a very regular occurrence.

It's funny though for as much as I've probably drank in my life I've never had an issue with alcohol, outside of my stomach. If I never had another drop I don't think I'd miss it terribly, unlike the cigarettes. As I try and shave pointless expenses out of my life so I can pay down my debt and get some freedom financially, alcohol is definitely one of the things to go first. Although when it comes to the cigarettes its funny. Everyone always use to say "think about how much money you would save if you quit" blah blah blah and extrapolate out how much extra cash I would have had after 10 years of smoking. You mean I could have bought a ferrari? Oh yeah? Well where's your fuckin ferrari, bitch? Ha. Not that I'd want one anyways, but you get my point. I haven't noticed much extra coin in my pocket as a result. I wasn't a pack a day smoker but still. That extra 50-80 bucks a month finds its way to be spent on other silent things, believe me. Difference is if you are a big drinker, that could be 200-400 a month, which I'm pretty sure I would notice. I'm a tall guy and it takes me a good hundred bucks minimum to get wasted at the bar these days. If I went out once a week as many I know do, I'd be fucked now. I don't know how they do it, to be honest.

I had my drug phases and those are pretty much over too, maybe once a year or something I may do a bump. And even that is something I will try to avoid if possible. I still tend to always keep some pot on hand, and I will enjoy smoking that till the day I die. But I work a job with a fucked up hours, and it was really effecting my diet and making me eat like shit. It's been a bit hard breaking the connection between pot and food for me as I try eat smarter and healthier. So I've kind of put the pot on the back burner, and have been smoking a lot less, until I get my diet straight. I use it more as a late night treat when I go on walks with our dogs instead of as a meal enhancer, etc.

At the end of the day, I don't care if you drink, or smoke, or do drugs, or don't do anything. If you are a good person with interesting things to say and love to spread in the world, I'll enjoy being around you. If you are a douchebag who makes the world a worst place to be, drunk or sober, then I have no time for you. Sure in my experiences I've noticed that the more people enjoy alcohol the more mean spirited they can be, and I have a ton of traits, good and bad, which I can associate with smokers too, but they are all very general and it wouldn't be right of me to throw those on to people I don't know. I will laugh and say that I've never particularly enjoyed straight edge people, not necessarily because they aren't getting fucked up, but because they usually tend to be heavily into religion, or look around at what they are seeing and act disgusted with the world, instead of simply understanding a lot of people have problems and this is, right or wrong, how they choose to deal with them and judging them isn't going to help the situation, it's only going to make you have a shittier time.

**Halo Infinity** · 09-21-2013, 11:55 AM

Oh, I just wanted to point out that it's like I could be straight-edge. (Not that anybody has been calling me that. I just wanted to clarify what I meant by that in case I was misunderstood.) I'm neither straight-edge or religious in actuality. Besides, even if I don't smoke, and don't drink regularly, I still have a lot of unhealthy habits that wouldn't give me any room to judge. (Not that I should judge people over such things to start with.) For instance, overeating is one of my worst addictive vices ever, right up there with sugar and caffeine.

**binaryhermit** · 09-21-2013, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by Kris

overeating is one of my worst addictive vices ever, right up there with sugar and caffeine.

Right there with you, though I've mostly cut out the caffeine.

**AgentofChaos** · 09-21-2013, 01:56 PM

Actually the worst addiction I have which will be harder to quit than anything in the history of the world for me will be Diet Coke/Coke Zero. If I even could Id probably become an alcoholic cause I'd drink wine with every meal instead.

The shit is toxic but my body actually needs it. I can't function without it. It's fucked up.

**xmd 5a** · 09-22-2013, 02:48 AM

I've had 2 cigarettes in my life- after the first my throat was sore (I was probably doing something wrong) and after the second I felt nauseous and dizzy for hours. Obviously smoking's not for me.

I've had an on/off relationship with alcohol since I started drinking (under parental supervision) at 15. I got to the point of near-dependence at around 18/19. The only thing that held me back from getting completely hammered every night were the nasty hangovers I got the morning after and the desire to be somewhat productive at Uni/work. I've got stress/anxiety issues and alcohol helped me bury those feelings for a few hours at a time. The turning point for me to (near) sobriety was when my wife (then girlfriend) got pregnant. We both quit for the duration of the pregnancy. My daughter is now 2 and in that time I've spent less on alcohol than I used to in a month. I haven't been drunk at all since 2010. I came pretty close to falling off the wagon late last year (the Christmas period was a bit of a rollercoaster) but have now gone completely dry again. We've got another kid on the way, so all the more reason for me to keep straight.

I'm not a judgmental person at all. I've got my personal reasons for avoiding smoking/boozing but I don't feel anything negative towards those that partake. Whatever floats one's boat. I'm not a fan of the industries and many of their practices, but I'm not about to argue for prohibition or anything.

Edit: I kind of left this out of my first writeup because I didn't want to come across as blaming anyone but myself for my problem drinking, but me trying to keep up with my older and more alcohol-tolerant step-brothers was what made me become more irresponsible in my drinking habits. My parents were great about introducing me to alcohol sensibly when I became curious and I'll probably try a similar thing with my children when/if they start to become curious. As a comparison, none of my 3 siblings are especially interested in alcohol nowadays at all.
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I too am a massive caffeine addict. The longest I've been without a single caffeinated beverage in recent memory is about 36 hours. By hour 24 I had an unbearable headache and felt extremely irritable. Don't know how I'm kicking this habit...

**Halo Infinity** · 09-22-2013, 04:18 PM