Originally Posted by
Sesquipedalism
When I was a kid, I went through some stuff and, even at forty, it amazes me now and again when I realize something I thought I was over is, in fact, still an issue in some insidious way. I've been lucky and have been able to grow around a lot of my issues—I've had relationships, I'm married, I can have friends. But I'd be lying if I said that some things aren't still a bit tricky. It's a day-to-day thing; sometimes I don't think of it, sometimes maybe my chemicals prime me for a little less resilience. And when I was younger, hoo-eee, did it fuck up almost every attempt at intimacy, platonic and not. So, even if I'm feeling strong today, I know in part my past has been shaped by what I went through. I'd have to be literally brain damaged to never think of it. Even if I didn't want to grant it the privilege of being a "central" part of my past, it's most certainly a part. It is significant. It would be unwise of me to not at least periodically remember, if not also examine it.
But the more concerning issue, maybe, is that you think your therapist would tell your mother. That's not okay. I'm not a lawyer and I don't know Illinois law, but I think the general rule of thumb is that, unless the abuse is ongoing and you're a minor, confidentiality applies. And if you think your therapist would breach that, I would implore you to start the search for one you can trust. Even if you have a great relationship with this therapist, I don't know how much long-term utility there is in having a doctor you can trust with almost anything—especially when the exception is something that by its nature cannot be insignificant.