Do you have suicidal thoughts right now? I'm a bit worried about you.

I've had suicidal thoughts in the past (the last time, I was actually verbalizing them and my mother called the cops) and what had always stopped me was thinking about the impact my death would have on others. When my mom called the cops, she showed me she cared about me and she wanted me to live.

My advice would be to talk to someone; if you have someone in your life that's close enough to you that you can say to them "hey, I'm not doing well and I'm thinking about killing myself" and that they would listen to you and be the rational voice in that moment then go to them. If not, I'm sure there must be a phone line you can call and where you would find help.

When we are in the suicidal "space" of mind, we don't think rationally. We don't see the whole picture. We only see one way to end the suffering when in fact, there are other ways; much better ways. As a last resort, I'd say call 911 if you have to.

Just talk to someone and don't listen to your inner voice because that voice is telling you LIES.