The Mental Health thread - depression, bipolar, ADHD, you name it

[eversonpoe]

i think it’s important to talk openly about mental health. i have had depression and anxiety for over 20 years. it turns out i probably have bipolar 2 (aka cyclical depression) so this morning i took my first dose of a mood stabilizer (prescribed by my new psychiatrist; I haven’t seen one since I was 17 and he told me i had slit my wrist "the wrong way" and then showed me how i should have done it...jesus fucking christ). i dearly hope it helps because i have had so many bad things happen in quick succession in the last few months that i’m having an even harder time coping than usual.

[Louie_Cypher]

i think it’s important to talk openly about mental health. i have had depression and anxiety for over 20 years. it turns out i probably have bipolar 2 (aka cyclical depression) so this morning i took my first dose of a mood stabilizer (prescribed by my new psychiatrist; I haven’t seen one since I was 17 and he told me i had slit my wrist "the wrong way" and then showed me how i should have done it...jesus fucking christ). i dearly hope it helps because i have had so many bad things happen in quick succession in the last few months that+ having an even harder time coping than usual.

hang tough i was watching i think it was Joe rogan this Dr was saying that 80% of depression can be handled with diet. he kind of went through the evils of pharmaceutical industry and they do tend to just through pills at things I've been i Prozac for two years and used to hit the bottle when I got down but quit drinking and recently quit smoking It'll be 2 month's come December. my pot shop has these beautiful gummies that two is perfect. i also joined an anytime. so now no matter the time if i feel the darkness closing I either hit the treadmill, row machine or dreaded stair master. i'll be a year sober in Jan and i kind like the lean healthy Louie. after a lot of searching i finally found a shrink that works. she a woman and great just the other day during a session i remarked about how finding a good shrink, physiologist she doesn't like the work shrink as she said, i didn't go through eight years of school to be compared to something a wash machine does. anyways. a good physiologist is a lot like finding a good sensie you have to go through a lot of bullshit till you find something that works. everson take care i wish you peace.
-louie

[Andallthatcouldhavebeen]

It's also no wonder why a lot of people seem to say and also even agree that sometimes being more present-minded can make people more relaxed, cogent, calm and even happy. It's just that I always still take the past and the future into consideration since they're always a part of life, but I also very-well understand that the present is the only thing you can handle and actually do something about.

I've been trying so hard to work on this lately. Present mindedness is a struggle with an inner ego that always wants to think of mistakes and dare I say, All that could have been.

[Baphomette]

• Anxiety TRIGGERED
• Paranoia TRIGGERED
• Depression TRIGGERED
• Agoraphobia TRIGGERED
• Body Dysmorphia TRIGGERED
• Every single known insecurity TRIGGERED

There are not enough meds on the planet to get me through the rest of this week/weekend.

[Louie_Cypher]

• Anxiety TRIGGERED
• Paranoia TRIGGERED
• Depression TRIGGERED
• Agoraphobia TRIGGERED
• Body Dysmorphia TRIGGERED
• Every single known insecurity TRIGGERED

There are not enough meds on the planet to get me through the rest of this week/weekend.

feel ya try hitting the gym, pass the gummies try one of the mobile meditation apps like sublime. and a hug{{hug}}
-Louie

[Space Suicide]

My father suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. It has been a constant issue in my life ever since 2004 or so. It has gotten worse and worse and worse. Its made him a shell of a person with no personality or fragments of reality. He's lucid maybe a few hours of the day before alcoholism and psychotic breaks take over. He lives in a selfish, delusional world where neighbors and employers are out to "destroy him" and take his life. Talks of a next door neighbor who is a middle aged father of 3 slinking around outside at the dark hours of the night to spy on him and record him are a thing of grandeur and of extremely hilarious proportions I can't help but scoff at due to how ludicrous it truly is. My sympathy, empathy and patience has drawn thin due to it and it's came to a point where I no longer love or feel compassion for his failings and life direction. I am not that type of person but it has reached a point where the illness has gotten the better of him and he's no longer a functional human being or a person worth being around. I have reached a pinnacle where if he never spoke to me again I would be fine with it. This is a selfish, horrendous and absolutely fantasy driven illness I wish didn't exist in mankind or the human psyche. I type this as an episode has began and I am at the brunt of believing fictional plots and dangerous actions he accuses strangers and nearby people of without proof. He lacks the proof and lacks the will to take back his life. He is a perpetual victim and truly makes no attempts to change his life so I'm done. I'm at the end of my rope. Patience is gone and so am I. You can only blame and hold a mental problem as the root of issues so far, there comes a point where behavior and decisions are of your own volition and choice. You chose your path and beliefs and you need to reap what you sow. You lost your wife and son. Its a sad life and personal loss but it is what it is.

I want no sympathy or advice on the matter. I just wanted to vent on a shitty, small corner of the internet unfiltered. A place where other friends and faces won't be as harsh to judge on this crippling and embarrassing mental disease that has afflicted my family.

"Life is 10% of what happens to you, 90% is how you react to it."

[Andallthatcouldhavebeen]

I've been over budget for the last couple of months so my anxiety is spiking really bad. I don't know why I let it get to me, we purposely have a savings account with money for when life deals us a shitty hand. Some of it has been reckless spending, and I think I"m getting that "Did I REALLY NEED that???" vibe looking at things we've recently purchased. I know there's no point in doing stuff like that and I realize I just have to try and look at my budget really closely over the next couple of months.
On another note, my mile time on the treadmill has gone from 10 minutes to 7:30 because I realize that although I have been bad at running and hate it, it helps with the anxiety.

[mexicoler]

moved to london to try and chase a music dream. got a place at uni. got a job. got a place to stay with a family friend.

student finance went wrong. have to put uni on hold for 3 years. job pays the bare minimum (since it's not an amazing job either). it's money coming in, but it's also an expensive city. family friend has own family, is going through own tough times. loads of fighting in the house. loads of shouting. i stay with their kid, entertain her, distract her (and me) from it, go to a park, help them out in the house. but it's awkward being a stranger present in someone else's family issues.

i think about leaving and getting a second job like everyone else, but that would only drive me away from music. i've only been here for a few months. i try to go out - camden, a few concerts, those sort of classic "goth" places to go. but i don't know anybody. i don't know shit. i'm young as fuck, impatient, growing uneasily lonely in a beautiful but massive town. entry-level jobs in the music industry are a non-existant thing. i don't know how to get to know people. i'm lost as fuck and this winter shit of getting dark at 4pm is annoying.

i'm fairly sure there's some type of depression in me (especially taking into account my family record), but i've never felt the need to be medicated and was always more or less stable and satisfied with therapy. but now i don't have that and i'm just growing insanely isolated. i have no idea what to do with my life.

i just needed to vent, i'm sorry if this wasn't the appropriate thread. also to let anyone know that if you live in this city i'm available for coffee & concert meetups. got my eye in massive attack and oneothrix point never.

[eversonpoe]

so it turns out i definitely have bipolar 2. i've been on Lamictal for almost two months and it has been like a miracle for me. my irritability has gone down drastically, i've actually been able to relax a few times (i can never relax so that's a huge deal), i don't get angry about pointless shit (like spilling water or someone driving like a jerk, both of which used to cause me to scream), and when i have a low day, i'm better equipped to handle it and find something to focus on to get myself out of it.

meds aren't for everyone, but i'm so glad that i've found something that helps me feel more like a person and less like a walking ball of anxiety/depression. part of me wishes i had done something/found this sooner, because looking back on my life, i can see so many things that were clearly caused by this condition that caused me so much suffering. but at least i'm doing something about it now.

[[parasite]]

so it turns out i definitely have bipolar 2. i've been on Lamictal for almost two months and it has been like a miracle for me. my irritability has gone down drastically, i've actually been able to relax a few times (i can never relax so that's a huge deal), i don't get angry about pointless shit (like spilling water or someone driving like a jerk, both of which used to cause me to scream), and when i have a low day, i'm better equipped to handle it and find something to focus on to get myself out of it.

meds aren't for everyone, but i'm so glad that i've found something that helps me feel more like a person and less like a walking ball of anxiety/depression. part of me wishes i had done something/found this sooner, because looking back on my life, i can see so many things that were clearly caused by this condition that caused me so much suffering. but at least i'm doing something about it now.

lamictal (lamotrigine) is awesome I've been on it now for 8 years, with a tweak here and there, to find my therapeutic dose. although I'm not Bipolar.
glad you've found that there is/was a good medication that's working for you.



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[kel]

@eversonpoe i was diagnosed at 29. quetiapine was what ended up working best. i know finding the right med and dose is tough, so glad you found something that works for you.

[binaryhermit]

I'm tired, kinda manic, and triggered by the shitshow that is 2019.

I just wanna opt out of life, like, permanently check into a psychiatric facility.

[botley]

I have experienced bouts of major depression before. It's more often at a manageable level (read: I'm high-functioning), but I am sliding into one of those weeks where it feels like I can barely get up and interact with other people. My therapist is also on temporary leave, so I have precious little space to vent. It's also minus-eleven-billion degrees outside, and commuting to work feels like being slowly ground up into hamburger with tiny razor blades. So that's not helpful.

[eversonpoe]

I have experienced bouts of major depression before. It's more often at a manageable level (read: I'm high-functioning), but I am sliding into one of those weeks where it feels like I can barely get up and interact with other people. My therapist is also on temporary leave, so I have precious little space to vent. It's also minus-eleven-billion degrees outside, and commuting to work feels like being slowly ground up into hamburger with tiny razor blades. So that's not helpful.

:: big hug :: hang in there, dude. <3

[kel]

wow, sarah. he sounds like a catch.

[ickyvicky]

My husband suffers from manic depression and anxiety. It's gotten to the point now where it's super bad, and he had to take a medical leave off from work for a month, and he joined a therapeutic program for a couple of weeks while he was off from work. They're also switching his meds where it's treating for Bipolar 1. Since this new medication takes a while to kick in, things have been rough at home. It's constant walking on eggshells around him, and I'm trying my best to be strong. Unfortunately, the other night, I just lost my temper and we got into a big fight where I made the mistake of blaming his condition. I feel terrible. We've been married for 8 years, together 14 - so it's nothing new or out of the ordinary, his family has also been very supportive. I just wish this disease would somehow get better instead of worse.

[Halo Infinity]

I'm still stuck between wanting to fix everything and run away from everything. A combination of the two would seem to be the best, but reality just doesn't work that way.

[BRoswell]

I'm still stuck between wanting to fix everything and run away from everything. A combination of the two would seem to be the best, but reality just doesn't work that way.

I just discussed that with my therapist during my last session. That "fight or flight" response is something I deal with a lot.

[ickyvicky]

My husband is experiencing the same thing. He even says sometimes he just wants to leave me some money and just take off.

[tony.parente]

Signed divorce papers a few days ago. I’m sorta private about my love life when it comes to negative stuff, airing dirty laundry in public has always come off as trashy to me. We didn’t have much in that department but it’s so surreal to not be with my partner of 12 years and I don’t know how to feel or how to process any of this. Life is hard sometimes

[Sarah K]

Fuck, Tony. I'm really sorry to hear that.

[allegro]

Oh wow, Tony, so sorry to hear that. Yes, life is hard sometimes. I hope you have a support system of family and friends during this difficult time.

[Swykk]

Signed divorce papers a few days ago. I’m sorta private about my love life when it comes to negative stuff, airing dirty laundry in public has always come off as trashy to me. We didn’t have much in that department but it’s so surreal to not be with my partner of 12 years and I don’t know how to feel or how to process any of this. Life is hard sometimes

Damn. You guys just went to Disney. I never would’ve guessed.

Been there, dude. Very sorry you’re going through it. I hope it’s civil but let’s be real, it almost never is.

[tony.parente]

Damn. You guys just went to Disney. I never would’ve guessed.

Been there, dude. Very sorry you’re going through it. I hope it’s civil but let’s be real, it almost never is.

Civil as it can be. She’s an incredible person and all I want is for her to be able to get through this as easy as possible. Her support structure is rock solid, mine isn’t AS great but I have an amazing few people that know that are there for me. Day by day I guess, they say everything gets easier with time

[Yellowlovebear2]

Autistic, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, A.D.H.D., P.T.S.D., all of my children taken away and pregnant?????????????????????????????????????????? ????

[ickyvicky]

I'm so sorry @tony.parente Hang in there

[Bachy]

Well, my girlfriend gave me just a quick questionnaire the other day which is mainly to determine if someone is autistic. I basically scored almost borderline. Though in reading further regarding the symptoms, a lot of them fit me to a “t.” I’ve always thought I had a bit of an acute case of it given many of my little quirks. However this would really help to at least explain most of my issues in interacting with people in general. Even every day interactions such as buying groceries or even Skyping, I still have difficulty looking people directly in the eye. I pretty much regularly get anxiety just talking to people on the phone if it’s somebody I don’t already know (though this is mainly only when it doesn’t involve work. Work phone calls I’m fine. Anything outside of that such as ordering a pizza still make me uneasy). I’ve always attibuted this to just extreme shyness or just being a socially awkward person in general. It seems more likely to me that I’m probably on the spectrum.

[Emily]

Anyone else have relatively relentless body dysmorphia? I've been stuck in a rut with it for a few months now in spite of reaching some breakthrough points in therapy about what function hating my appearance serves for me. I just find it so unbelievably hard acknowledging the negative thoughts about my body as they happen, because they're just constant p much. V much autopilot.

[Swykk]

I’ve been trying to say less lately. About everything.

It’s not helping.

I’m moving this week. Selling my house was easier than finding another place to live. Lots of bad luck there. The guy I’m buying from is a dishonorable prick. Long story short, now I’ll be moving twice because the place I’m moving into won’t be closed on for 2-4 weeks. So I’ll be staying in a hotel until then.

I’m a routine person. I like to plan. This has and will continue to keep my anxiety at critical levels. It’s the hardest part. My stomach is a nauseous wreck. My ears are ringing.

[Jon]

Anyone else have relatively relentless body dysmorphia? I've been stuck in a rut with it for a few months now in spite of reaching some breakthrough points in therapy about what function hating my appearance serves for me. I just find it so unbelievably hard acknowledging the negative thoughts about my body as they happen, because they're just constant p much. V much autopilot.

I've dealt with this since college. I was 295 at my heaviest (in high school), but am currently 172. I still feel like I'm 295 pounds when I move (even though I physically have no trouble); I still see someone that is 295 pounds when I look in the mirror. I am unable to grow fingernails without feeling absolutely grossed out, and feel like I'm grossing out others (I do not chew my nails). I also have to shave my head and beard with a #3 and no other guard length. I competely understand the "autopilot" part with regards to negative thoughts and giving in to "rituals" or "old habits".

For me, the key has to been to keep my isolation in check. I work out of my house for 8 months of the year; there's no reason to stay inside during my free time. It's a trap.

I wish you continued breakthroughs in your therapy.