The Mental Health thread - depression, bipolar, ADHD, you name it

[Baphomette]

I haven't actually wanted to kill myself for like 5 years or so...

Wellbutrin might change that. I had such horrible experiences with that drug, I can't help but warn people about it.

[Sarah K]

Well, I waited at the pharmacy for goddamn ever. Then they were like LOL YOUR INSURANCE WON'T COVER IT LOL. And they couldn't sub in a generic for some dumb shit reason. So I guess I'll get to spend like 3 hours on the phone tomorrow.

[aggroculture]

Help is available. Feeling this way is can be temporary. Hang on please.

I second this. You might feel very different about everything a day, a month, a year, five years from now. I know I feel very different than five or ten years ago. Something changed in me. I literally felt the change, from one month to the next. I may go back to that place at some point, who knows. For now I am grateful I am not there, most of the time.

[somethingelse]

Thanks everyone.
Everything has changed in the last month for me. I moved across country after hurting someone I care for deeply and back to the same town where I came as close as I ever have to suicide, back into my parents place. I feel like a complete failure. I know things never stay the same. Last night I felt old feelings creeping back into my mind, ones that I thought I had moved on from. I am in between psychs and starting new meds. I guess the combination of these is getting to me.
I'm sorry for being so dramatic in my post and I should be more careful and aware of possible triggers for others here
Today is a new day, right?
I have looked at my options for study, and working on a financial plan to move out of the folks place (Again! Argh!).
Thank you again. I just needed that vent and I apologize to anyone affected negatively by it.

[jessamineny]

It can severely increase depression and suicidal thoughts, more so than any other antidepressant. I hope it works for you but just keep that in the back of your head if you start having increased swings.

Prozac had that exact effect on me. Plus (or maybe because) it worked for a short bit, then quit. So they upped the dose. Quit working. Upped dose. Quit working. Etc.

Wellbutrin, however, was a wonder drug. I simply felt like myself.

[Dra508]

Wellbutrin, however, was a wonder drug. I simply felt like myself.

I quit smoking using Wellbutrin. No side effects. It really seems to be a person to person thing?

[Sarah K]

It sounds like I can get a generic Wellbutrin for ~$100/month. So that's fairly reasonable.

[jessamineny]

I wish, for your sake, that there was a Sam's Club in Manhattan. If you pay the $100/year Plus membership, you can get 3 months of generic Wellbutrin for $17 and change. (Not $17/month. All three months' worth.) That's with no insurance. I'm also on topiramate for my migraines, and it's the same price.

I know they will mail prescriptions. Maybe you can find one nearby and make the trek, and then have your prescriptions mailed after that. Might be worth the hassle, for that kind of savings.

Or maybe Costco has a similar kind of deal?

[Sarah K]

Aw shit... I just looked up CostCo, and they have the generic for less than $40 monthly. I've never actually been to a Costco. Thanks for the info!

[jessamineny]

Ask your boss if he's a member through the business. If he is, maybe he's not using his one additional card, and would let you have it for free. (Doubtful, but worth a shot.)

[Sarah K]

He's out for the day already. But I actually just found a coupon for Target that makes it $27.20.

And supposedly in NY, they have to let you use the pharmacy at CostCo(and I would assume Sam's) even if you aren't a member.

[jessamineny]

That's awesome! Though at Sam's, that $17/3 months price is only available to the Plus members. I'm sure it's still cheap for everybody else, but nowhere near that.

[Joy Prevention Hotline]

He's out for the day already. But I actually just found a coupon for Target that makes it $27.20.

And supposedly in NY, they have to let you use the pharmacy at CostCo(and I would assume Sam's) even if you aren't a member.

I was getting Strattera through Costco's mail order pharmacy back when I didn't have prescription coverage. No membership required.

It was still expensive, but better than paying $200+ at CVS. (Now just $40 thanks to the ACA.)

Meanwhile, I can tell the nortriptyline is truly making itself at home now — my ability to spell has started going to hell. Thank God for spellcheck.

[Baphomette]

I quit smoking using Wellbutrin. No side effects. It really seems to be a person to person thing?

Zyban/Wellbutrin = same med, different names.

Prozac had that exact effect on me. Plus (or maybe because) it worked for a short bit, then quit. So they upped the dose. Quit working. Upped dose. Quit working. Etc.

Yeah, it's known for that (efficiency short-circuiting). If you go off of it and then go back on it, it may also not work altho' it did before.

[elevenism]

@somethingelse , @Swykk , PLEASE hold on. As I said, I just lost one of my dearest, sweetest, oldest friends to suicide. I am no where near over it, and I'm sure that many friends feel the same way. Her parents lives are ruined now, as is the life of her husband, who is my best friend. If you check out, you leave a wake of pain and suffering... Pain for those you love the most. One parent of one of my friends who died killed HIMself eventually. Hell, think about your ets family... Yes we argue, but there aren't many of us and at the end of the day, we are a pretty god damned tight knit crew. We damned sure don't wanna lose you. I've tried suicide a few times and thank God I was unsuccessful... because THINGS ALWAYS GET BETTER EVENTUALLY. like @Dra508 said, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I am the most gentle and caring person you will ever meet. Pm me if you need an unbiased ear @Sarah K , I have the same damn problem with saris. I took the wellbutrin too. I had some speedy side effects, but it wasn't at all euphoric. I imagine you will be OK. Oh yeah, the side affects go away pretty fast. I've experienced the bed binding depression too. Makes me think of IDNWT. I'm sorry you are experiencing that.
A lot of you may think I'm crazy, but I suggest that anyone suffering from serious depression try the first two seal albums. Try the songs Don't Cry, Jade, Killer, Future Love Paradise.

[somethingelse]

So I just went to my doc appointment to find out that it was actually yesterday and that I cant make another appointment until I pay the two non attendance fees I have accured (including yesterdays), 100 dollars thank you very much. I spent all day riddled with anxiety and now I'm crashing big time into depression. I had to stand there and wait while she spoke to the doctor and then printed out my bill, all the while my brain was screaming at me to "get the fuck out of here now, you are useless!". The receptionist apologized and all I could say was, it's okay it's not your fault. I couldn't even look at her.
What is wrong with me. I am slipping back into the mental state I was in a few years ago and it's scaring me. My attempt was close. I got wet, up to my waist in freezing cold water, drunk, but I stopped. Now all I can think is I should have kept going in while I had the courage and none of this would have come to pass. The hurt I caused, the hurt I feel. My loved ones would have healed by now and I would be free from all of this. Fuck. I understand. I know things change. But right now those thoughts don't seem to matter at all.


I have no anti-anxiety meds, no seroquel, no valium. All I want to do is get drunk and I can't even do that.


Okay. I'm hitting angry now. What kind of fucking doctor treats an Agoraphobic this way. That unsympathetic cunt. Here Doc, here's your $100. The next dinner at a fancy restaurant is on me you fuck. I'll give him his money just so I can book an appointment to vent my spleen at him. Maybe then he'll take me a little more seriously.


And the sadness is back.

[marodi]

@somethingelse You need a new doctor. Because you're right: what kind of doctor treats a patient that way? It's unacceptable. And the process of finding a better doctor will give you the sense that you're doing something about getting better. It will give you hope. Also: what @elevenism said.
@Jinsai I think you need to consult too. I know it's hard (I've been through this) but it will help you tremendously, once you've find the right person.

Hang in there everyone; don't let the darkness win.

[Jinsai]

today sucks.

[Sarah K]

Wellbutrin generic day 1: I WANT TO FUCK EVERYTHING

I've been talking to my friend who has been taking it for like three weeks now. He said that subsided after about two. Jesus christ...

I've also spent like all day reading up on this, and I guess it's extremely common. I'm hoping with everything I have that it tapers off after a bit, because this would be fucking annoying. Like, I was SERIOUSLY considering masturbating at work today. Like I'm fucking 17 or something. To constantly feel like this would be JUST AS BAD as having no sex drive at all. In fact, this might suck EVEN MORE. The vibrations on the train ride home had me in fucking agony, and I was standing up.

DEFINITELY has a Adderall-ish feeling to it. Which I'm not too sure how I feel about yet.

[Dra508]

today sucks.

I know and tomorrow might too, but then you, me, all of us, will have a good day.

Are you drinking again? Honest question.

[Jinsai]

this is depression + general sickness + insomnia all coming together in a really obnoxious way

[Swykk]

It never subsided for me. I was a sex monster on the brand Wellbutrin.

[Sarah K]

:/ It is almost intolerable. Like, this might be fun for a few days. But I can't imagine feeling like this ALL THE TIME.

This lady also started me out on the highest dose possible, I think. I'm taking 300mg XL. Which I don't think is supposed to happen. A lot of what I've read says to start at 150mg and then increase from there.

[elevenism]

:/ It is almost intolerable. Like, this might be fun for a few days. But I can't imagine feeling like this ALL THE TIME.

This lady also started me out on the highest dose possible, I think. I'm taking 300mg XL. Which I don't think is supposed to happen. A lot of what I've read says to start at 150mg and then increase from there.

it gets better.

like i said, i had the same problem with ssris (no sexo,) and started taking welbutrin for the same reason.
i was better after about a week...maybe ten days.

[Amaro]

Yo...been lurking, thinking about all y'all. Just wanted to talk up a little about CBD (cannabidiol) in here.

I don't officially know what all I suffer from to date or have been suffering most from lately (years ago I was diagnosed a form of Bipolar, now I choose to not directly ask my counselor any of that stuff, though some things are implied enough), but upon research and my own experimentation, CBD has personally helped me lighten my headload of stress symptoms when they just get too bad, or are about to. I can only speak from a certain product of CBD capsules to date, which I got from Rakuten (http://www.rakuten.com/prod/30-capsu...263955074.html), comparable to Cibidex capsules (which is the more well known and more expensive route), but like countless testimonials from others in general--CBD is undoubtedly effective for me thus far.

A couple of days ago I ordered the E-Mist pen value pack from http://www.hempremedies.com/cbd-vape-oil.html (there's the bigger company/outlet www.kannaway.com to look into for the same kind of product, but I felt a bit better about Hemp Remedies after some research, not to mention the price points...had to take a dive somewhere). I look forward to the possibly greater effects the oil vaporizing method produces, and with what sounds to be a very legit tested CBD extract source. And I think I will save on money this way.

[elevenism]

Yo...been lurking, thinking about all y'all. Just wanted to talk up a little about CBD (cannabidiol) in here.

I don't officially know what all I suffer from to date or have been suffering most from lately (years ago I was diagnosed a form of Bipolar, now I choose to not directly ask my counselor any of that stuff, though some things are implied enough), but upon research and my own experimentation, CBD has personally helped me lighten my headload of stress symptoms when they just get too bad, or are about to. I can only speak from a certain product of CBD capsules to date, which I got from Rakuten (http://www.rakuten.com/prod/30-capsu...263955074.html), comparable to Cibidex capsules (which is the more well known and more expensive route), but like countless testimonials from others in general--CBD is undoubtedly effective for me thus far.

A couple of days ago I ordered the E-Mist pen value pack from http://www.hempremedies.com/cbd-vape-oil.html (there's the bigger company/outlet www.kannaway.com to look into for the same kind of product, but I felt a bit better about Hemp Remedies after some research, not to mention the price points...had to take a dive somewhere). I look forward to the possibly greater effects the oil vaporizing method produces, and with what sounds to be a very legit tested CBD extract source. And I think I will save on money this way.

i think i am going to try some of the CBD. My little brother and sis in law seem to think it would help me a lot.
I smoked a good solid ounce of grass a week until i hit like 24, when it just flat out started making me feel bad instead of good.

But the CBD gives a different feeling, right?

[Sarah K]

So far, I'm still enjoying Wellbutrin for the most part.

PROS:
-I felt like my mood was better the first day... I dunno if this is just placebo effect or what, but I'll take it
-Mood seems to improve every day
-No longer hiding out in my room
-Suppressing appetite
-I feel more motivated

CONS:
-I had ONE DRINK yesterday, and I felt like my heart was going to explode
-Intolerable sex drive - I feel like I'm an 18 year old boy
-I feel a if it is impacting impulse control a bit
-Trouble getting to sleep(but not entirely negative - because I don't feel super tired)
-I have a bit of an irregular heartbeat happening today - not sure if related
-Speedy feeling

As far as my mood goes, I feel fucking great. I'm so used to starting a med, and then it taking forever to do anything, and then I just feel no emotions at all. I'M HAPPY AND SMILING AGAIN... It's really been a fucking miracle and a quick turn around on that end. Unsure about all of these other side effects, though. I keep reading conflicting things where some people don't have them after a couple of weeks, and others continue to have them throughout the duration of taking the medication. I'll give it a couple more weeks and see what happens. But I just really can't express how much it improved my mood, almost instantly. It's pretty weird to me.

I go see the psychiatrist again on Wednesday, and Therapy on Thursday.

[Swykk]

Finished the "battery tests" today so maybe there will be a plan or direction Wednesday when I have my next session?

[Amaro]

i think i am going to try some of the CBD. My little brother and sis in law seem to think it would help me a lot.
I smoked a good solid ounce of grass a week until i hit like 24, when it just flat out started making me feel bad instead of good.

But the CBD gives a different feeling, right?

CBD is totally different. Totally non-psychoactive unlike THC.

I did some reading the other day--it's apparently a boost of anandamide your brain creates in response to the CBD which is responsible for the mentally relaxed feeling.

[Swykk]

Got officially diagnosed today. It's pretty much what I thought, which in many ways is good. Next week, I'll start the process of treating these things.