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Thread: How fucked was your day?

  1. #1351
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    Thank you, my friends. My brain is unable to process it yet.

  2. #1352
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    Quote Originally Posted by marodi View Post
    At supper time yesterday, Friday, my mom and I went to check on my brother since she had been trying to reach him for several hours ( they were talking several times every day). She had a key to his apartment and I went up alone. I found him dead, on the floor of his living room. Heart attack. He was 48.

    We have a pretty severe family history of heart problems but he wasn't taking care of himself and he was a heavy smoker. Please take care of yourselves, everyone. He leaves behind two teenagers.
    Wow, marodi, I am so sorry. That is so incredibly sad. So young to be gone. I can't imagine what you must be going through. That's heartbreaking. And I'm so sorry that you were the one to discover him. That's hard. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  3. #1353
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    Thank you so much, @Mantra

  4. #1354
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    Quote Originally Posted by marodi View Post
    Thank you, my friends. My brain is unable to process it yet.
    :: all the hugs. all of them. forever. ::

  5. #1355
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    I donít think Iíve ever posted in this thread before, but I feel like a rant...
    How fucked my whole 2019 has been so far:

    March - my only sister died. My sweet, autistic, only sister. Fell and broke her ankle in January, and because doctors couldnít get her to properly rehab it, they loaded her up on too many meds. She lived in a state funded group home, and just passed away in her sleep there. Autopsy was inconclusive, but I feel sure that the ridiculous amount of meds they were giving her to keep her sedate was the cause. I didnít get to tell her goodbye, and I have tremendous guilt over it.

    June - my 10 year old son had a freak accident at the pool where he hit his head. I rushed him to the ER to find he had bleeding on his brain and needed emergency neurosurgery. 3 days in the ICU. Heís doing really well now, but Iím not really the same parent or person after going through that. Many sleepless nights, many grey hairs, many added anxieties...

    Today - another fucking dipshit with a gun decides to shoot up people they hate based on the color of their skin, and itís in my hometown, my backyard - El Paso. Iíve lived here off and on for over 20 years now, and Iíve never seen anything like this here. It just doesnít happen here... Iím trying to wrap my head around all of it still, but I have felt absolutely sick about it all day.

    I fucking hate this year.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  6. #1356
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    Jesus... @marodi , I'm so sorry to hear that.

    I almost feel ridiculous in this context bitching about my day, but it has been horrible in its own way. I got food poisoning yesterday, got practically no sleep because I was up all night puking into the morning... at which point, I needed to drive down to do sound for a stage about an hour and a half away, in 95 degree heat, in a car without working AC. Then, I'm mixing the sound outdoors in the sun, I am now burnt and exhausted, drained, depressed...

    I'm finally lying down and starting to feel like I'm not losing my mind or fighting the urge to puke.

  7. #1357
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    @magnolia , *hugs* to you. That indeed is a rough year. :-(

  8. #1358
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    @magnolia much love. looking forward to giving you a hug in person <3

  9. #1359
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    Quote Originally Posted by marodi View Post
    At supper time yesterday, Friday, my mom and I went to check on my brother since she had been trying to reach him for several hours ( they were talking several times every day). She had a key to his apartment and I went up alone. I found him dead, on the floor of his living room. Heart attack. He was 48.

    We have a pretty severe family history of heart problems but he wasn't taking care of himself and he was a heavy smoker. Please take care of yourselves, everyone. He leaves behind two teenagers.
    Late to this, but my condolences. Lots of love.

  10. #1360
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    Aw, @magnolia , so sorry you are having such a shit year. You're such a good parent, and I am sure you are also a great sister. I hope that the remainder of the year is better for you - you have such a good heart.

  11. #1361
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    @magnolia I am sorry and all of that sucks. Glad your son is doing better. Head injuries are rough.

  12. #1362
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    @marodi and @magnolia, wishing you both the best and can only hope things get better over time *hugs*

  13. #1363
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    woke up sunday with a sore throat, an upset stomach, and a fuckload of depression. cried about 8 times throughout the day for no real reason. and then i slipped in the shower just before bed, bruised my tailbone and smacked the back of my head.

    my wife worked from home yesterday to take care of me. i literally laid on the couch all day because moving was so painful.

    today i'm at home by myself. my mom just stopped by to check on me but i don't know how helpful it was.

    i don't have any PTO right now and i've now taken two days off in a row. i'm worried that i might have to take a third day off tomorrow because i'm still having so much trouble moving, and my job is very physically demanding. part of why i've been so upset is because of frustration at work, but my co-worker (recently) turned project manager was out of town on a job last week and is out of town on training this week so i can't talk to him about what's going on. our further-up boss isn't the right person to talk to about it/do anything about it so i don't know what to do.

    my depression is in full swing and my therapist (who i haven't seen in a while because we had both decided i was doing well enough to take a break) hasn't responded to the e-mail i sent them yesterday. and honestly i only sent the e-mail because my wife asked me to. it felt like an insurmountable task to me.

  14. #1364
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    I think my dog’s kidneys are failing.

  15. #1365
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    tried to go back to work last wednesday, fucked up my back trying to lift my toolbag. went to immediate care where they x-rayed my whole spine, told me i didn't break anything but probably have "full body whiplash" and a concussion. got a note excusing me from work for thursday and friday, which i spent at home feeling miserable from both pain and depression (not to mention that i was still dealing with an upper respiratory issue, which still hasn't cleared up).

    over the weekend i started feeling scared and i couldn't figure out why. i managed to get into a decent mood a few times but still felt overwhelmingly depressed.

    i tried to go back to work again yesterday. basically woke up having a panic attack which progressively got worse as the morning progressed. at one point, i stared at an HDMI balun (something i've put in countless times) and just...didn't know what to do with it. i literally just stared at it.

    i was working at a house right next to the lake in evanston (just north of chicago) and my brain just wanted me to walk into the lake. i was supposed to work there last wednesday, too. which tells me that it was maybe a blessing that i fucked up my back more and couldn't go. but yesterday i just couldn't get the thought out of my head. clearly, i didn't actually want to end my life (i am a very determined person and if that was really what i wanted, i would have walked into the lake and drowned), but there is something fucked up inside me that was telling me to do it.

    i went out to my car and called my therapist (who thinks i may have post-concussion syndrome, which has exacerbated my depressive episode) while waiting for my mom to come pick me up and having the worst panic attack i've ever had. my therapist wanted me to go to the ER to get a suicide risk assessment and request an intensive outpatient care program.

    i was at the ER from 10:30am until 5pm. my mom stayed with me the whole time, my wife got there before noon and also stayed. i did not like the psychiatrist i spoke to there, who wanted me to do inpatient care. thankfully my psychiatrist and therapist both spoke, and then my psychiatrist spoke to the psychiatrist at the hospital and recommended against inpatient care for me.

    i have an appointment for an intake assessment at a nearby clinic tomorrow afternoon.

    i am still so anxious about work. i don't want to lose my job, but i also can't function there right now. i don't really know what to do other than try to keep existing, despite how much everything feels crushing right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by ltrandazzo View Post
    I think my dog’s kidneys are failing.
    give charlie a hug from me. she always seems so sweet in the pictures you post.

  16. #1366
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    Quote Originally Posted by ltrandazzo View Post
    I think my dog’s kidneys are failing.
    I’m sorry dude. That’s how I lost one of my dogs.

  17. #1367
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    Some of you may remember i mentioned earlier in the year i lost my Great Uncle and then Boss in quick succession. On Thursday morning my sister text to tell me my Aunt had gone into hospital and they didn't know what was wrong. 24 hours later and she's passed away, a combination of Liver Cancer they didn't realize was as bad as it was and a twisted gut they failed to find quick enough. This years had the most extreme ups and downs

  18. #1368
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haysey View Post
    Some of you may remember i mentioned earlier in the year i lost my Great Uncle and then Boss in quick succession. On Thursday morning my sister text to tell me my Aunt had gone into hospital and they didn't know what was wrong. 24 hours later and she's passed away, a combination of Liver Cancer they didn't realize was as bad as it was and a twisted gut they failed to find quick enough. This years had the most extreme ups and downs
    :: hugs :: i'm so sorry, friend <3

  19. #1369
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haysey View Post
    Some of you may remember i mentioned earlier in the year i lost my Great Uncle and then Boss in quick succession. On Thursday morning my sister text to tell me my Aunt had gone into hospital and they didn't know what was wrong. 24 hours later and she's passed away, a combination of Liver Cancer they didn't realize was as bad as it was and a twisted gut they failed to find quick enough. This years had the most extreme ups and downs
    Wow, so sorry to hear about that Haysey. That's such a sudden and shocking way to lose a loved one. Very sad. My condolences.

  20. #1370
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haysey View Post
    Some of you may remember i mentioned earlier in the year i lost my Great Uncle and then Boss in quick succession. On Thursday morning my sister text to tell me my Aunt had gone into hospital and they didn't know what was wrong. 24 hours later and she's passed away, a combination of Liver Cancer they didn't realize was as bad as it was and a twisted gut they failed to find quick enough. This years had the most extreme ups and downs
    That's awful! I'm so sorry to hear that, my condolences :-(

  21. #1371
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    I got in a car accident around 3pm and just got home about a half hour ago. My car no longer has a front bumper and I wouldn’t be shocked if there was other damage. Some twat turned right into me as I was trying to leave Meijer then got out and tried to blame me when I clearly had the right of way. I’d bet my useless left nut she was texting. Thankfully nobody was seriously hurt (I got checked out at the ER and am okay, just got muscle relaxers) and also the cop didn’t even take a statement from me; he almost immediately figured out she wasn’t paying attention at all. I’m pissed about my car but it could’ve been a lot worse as she had her kid in the back. I hit the front passenger side of her car.

  22. #1372
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    It's just good everyone was alright. I lost a friend to a careless semi driver about a year ago who was texting on the highway.

  23. #1373
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    @magnolia @Haysey I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you.

    And everyone who are going through a hard time: you have all my love. Hang in there, we'll make it, somehow.

  24. #1374
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    Retroactively fucked - we said goodbye to our dog last Monday. We're doing OK, but it still hurts quite a bit.

    A post shared by on


  25. #1375
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    @ltrandazzo , my heartfelt condolences. They only break our hearts once. :-(

    (Also, Charlie was REALLY cute OMG.)
    Last edited by Cat Mom; 08-26-2019 at 07:02 PM.

  26. #1376
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    I’ve been there, @ltrandazzo . It sucks so much. They’re family. Very sorry for your loss.

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