QOTD, bitches!

[Baphomette]

so, we were talking about star trek or bsg user ranks based on the federation or the colonial fleet. Trolls would be ferengi or cylons. What do you guys think?

pfft. Cardassians, if only because it sounds really close to kardashian.

So much fucking win.

[theruiner]

I love Ron Paul, but he would not look out of place next to a mule that was carrying prospecting gear.

Someone just knight this dude already, please.

[MAD]

I've started dating again. The men are meh, but a girl's gotta eat.

Priceless!!

[Torgo]

Everything about this entire set of paragraphs. I love you, theruiner.

Hey! Listen to me. Listen. This is important. Listen. There is NO such thing as promoting Nickelback. We are warning people. Do you say that to meteorologists when they warn people about hurricanes? "Hey, don't tell everyone about Hurricane Asshole because then you'll be promoting it!" No! You know why? Because it's vital information that everyone needs to know. No poor, unsuspecting person should be assaulted by the generic bland vagina monster that is Nickelback. No one. So just consider this whole thread a public service announcement.

And while we're on the topic of shitty music, whoever made the song "Don't Fear the Reaper" is an asshole. It's a whole song about not fearing death, but you know what? Whole thing sounds really sad. It's a BUMMER of a song. It really is. Oh, and the lyrics? "40,000 men and women every day." WHAT? Are you kidding me? That's supposed to make me feel better? "Like Romeo and Juliet." Listen, schmuck, Romeo and Juliet died in the most horrible way possible. She drank poison and then he thought she was dead and then she drank poison and then he thought she was dead and then he killed himself or she killed herself or WHATEVER. I don't remember how it goes. The point is, it was a bummer of an ending; that's why they call it a tragedy. Just like your song: a tragedy. So fuck you Blue Oyster Cult. You totally ruined my trip to the grocery store a few minutes ago with your crappy song. Standing in the toothpaste aisle crying my ass off about my inevitable mortality.

[dogsipod]

Caught me off guard at work. Made me laugh for like 10 minutes. Luv ya Dra508

BTW, congratulations on your nuptials. May you always appreciate each other and breed lots of little Revis and Buttheads.

[Wretchedest]

From the Guns n' Roses thread

I feel like "safety hazard" is their most common excuse... wuat exactly do they do up there thats so dangerous?

Totally classic....

[halloween]

Could someone kindly Photoshop me back in the band? Thanks in advance.

hehehe...


(ten characters here.)

[Fixer808]

the correct response to disarm someone asking the ever persistent "so when ya gonna have kids" question is to grimace and say:

"we're unable to conceive"

works every time, especially if one of you starts quietly sobbing.

Fucking incredible.

[Magtig]

"Christian rock is there for you, who lack courage and intellect." - Henry Rollins

[Chris_CDN]

"Christian rock is there for you, who lack courage and intellect." - Henry Rollins

Yes.

wordswordswords.

[sick among the pure]

I don't care if it wasn't really a post on ETS.

‘Ah, serial killers and anal raping, I know what that sounds like.

-Trent, via this interview

[theruiner]

Regarding "Is Your Love Strong Enough":

What do you guys think the BPM of this song is? My guess is 148 but I'm not sure. I'm not great at finding BPMs.

The BPM is set on Phil Collins.

[playwithfire]

I hate you. <3

[Dra508]

This has been a year of epic upheaval in the world of the modern supervillain. All my favorite evil dictators are dead and now I don't have anyone to eagerly scan the headlines for...except President Putin, I guess. He'll have to do.

I think his son is going to be equally as evil, so get your popcorn ready...

and we've still got castro!

And that guy Amdadinnerjacket.

Not to mention, Barack Obama.

Woo, satire.

Pwn pwn pwn pwn pwn (just to get the 10 characters)

[Fixer808]

This is why Jay Leno is not funny. Ready? Here are two jokes I heard on his show tonight. I'm not making this up.

#1: Did you hear that Italy might be the next country to have an economic collapse? Yeah, it's true. I knew we shouldn't have sent the cast of "Jersey Shore" over there!

#2: Did you know that the members of al-Qaeda are actually big sports fans? It's true! They watch sports from their man cave!


Yes, that happened. On national television. This guy has a national TV show, and has for almost 20 years. This guy gets paid millions upon millions of dollars a year to deliver jokes of that quality. And there are millions of people in this country that think he is fucking HILARIOUS.

Amazing...

[Dra508]

I was wondering what happened yesterday too.

Just got the message at 11:40am, my time (I'm in Quebec City). I was still able to log in but was redirected to the "server is too busy" page.

It lasted only for a couple of minutes though.

Attention users: This is what not to do. If the server is already throwing error messages, don't compound on it. Thank you.

Um wow, I hate being the example of what not to do. I thought it was kinda like a busy signal on the phone.....just hit "redial" until you get through.
Sorry bout that.

OK, kids - what's a busy signal? Seriously, who's actually heard one of those? I think it's been since 1989.

[theruiner]

From the Photoshop thread:

This one is the most hilarious! AS if!

Absolutely brilliant. I laughed pretty damn hard at that.

[Big Fat Matt]

"swasticat"

[Fixer808]

haaaaaaaaaa!

You accidentally put too many A's in that word.

Fucking Canadians.

I miss my goddamn quote pyramids...

[theruiner]

^^That is fucking BRILLIANT.

[orestes]

From twitter:

Every time Peter Gabriel or Kate Bush releases an album, a fretless bass player gets his wings.

[Baphomette]

From FB:

Made the leap from loose jeans to boot cut jeans and I have to say, they make my balls look really good.

Awesome.

[Bluegirl]

My mom when I asked her to email a picture to my brother.
"But I can't. This internet doesn't have my email on it. Don't look at me like that."

[theruiner]

Um, did santorum just say america is the only country blessed by god? Tell god to create jobs dipshit. #cnndebate #tweetthepress

Beautiful.

[aggroculture]

Am a bit late on this:

Yeah, the minute the movie ended, I punched a rabbi right in the mouth.

[Kid Charlemagne]

This is why Jinsai will always be better than me:

Oh wow. It's a band featuring a member of Tool. What a surprising topic of discussion on this board.

Love that man.

Also Planet of the Apes' retorts to October_Midnight in the Batman video game thread is solid gold. I get a boner each time they argue with each other, it's like O_M is playing Chess and Apes is playing Checkers.

[REPLICA]

From a Star Trek TNG Recut on youtube...

"Age ain't nothing but a number, and the number I'm thinking of is $100."

[halloween]

I was angry, and then I was amused.

[halloween]

I was angry, and then I was amused.

[theruiner]

Patton Oswalt wins the internet life.

"I finally get to apologize to GG Allin for never having him on Bandstand." -- Dick Clark's last words. #rip