The little things that piss you off

[Khrz]

I don't understand why men would want to be with girls who are that skinny.

That's just as vain as the other way around. Like there's some very narrow sweet spot where it's okay to be attracted to someone.
Not only that (attraction is a thing after all) but saying "I don't get why people would want to be with someone's wit x body type" directly correlates the validity of a relationship to the partners' appearance.
I'm not attracted to chubby or skinny girls. My first girlfriend was skinny, my last was chubby. I couldn't really give a fuck about their frame because that's not what made them beautiful in my eyes, and they were attractive to me because I wanted to love/fuck them, their body wasn't a prop with which I had sex.

It's totally okay to have preferences. I prefer fit brunettes with an attitude. That doesn't invalidates the beauty of all the rest of humanity, and that doesn't even mean I should build my relationships on that very narrow standart. And other people's health and body image isn't any of my business.

And personally I'm getting a bit tired of people treating Beauty like there's some absolute gauge to it. Same with "fat", "skinny", etc.
Harry up there thinks Amy Shumer is fat. She's fat to him. It's okay if he thinks so, who the hell cares. As long as he doesn't invalidates her actions and rights for it, I have no problems with that.
When I have to go downtown I go there on foot. For some people it's far, they will tell me how far they think it is and I'll disagree. That shit is all relative, you can compare BMI all you want all day long, to some people I'm a walking miniature skeleton, to some others I should be a model (hi mom !).

Sidenote, I find Beyonce absolutely dashing. And Amy Shumer's photos were beautiful.

[Swykk]

That's a good point, @Khrz .

[Khrz]

There's a very real banana problem in the fashion/show business industry though, where everyone's supposed to conform to one size/frame/DNA ratio and it's getting extremely ridiculous and culturally unhealthy. Even my tall, really thick youngest brother jokingly dismissed Beth Ditto as a "fat cow" ( to which my no-chill other brother retorted by asking for his own BMI).
And that is probably a whole other, chicken-and-egg sort of problem. People are fed models and demand that the next batch conform to the model they were fed. We've come to an age where the validity of your art and expression depends on your conformity to that standart, and that's fucking madness.

[Sarah K]

The bottom line is that everyone should be encouraged to love their bodies, no matter how much or little they currently weigh. That doesn't mean that people can't or shouldn't gain or lose weight, but that has to be a decision that they make for themselves. But on that journey, they should still embrace and accept themselves in their current state.

People's weight isn't an appropriate thing for others to have commentary on, unless directly asked.

One of the things I hate about fat fetishists is in order to pander to the fat women, they constantly put down thin women. Body shaming IS NOT OKAY. It doesn't matter what type of body you're attempting to shame. Get fucked. Imagine if men were all expected to look like runway models, or they would be considered fat and having no value. Imagine all of the great talents and people we would miss out on if men's value was solely in their appearance. It's just silly.

[elevenism]

@Khrz , i'm not saying it's WRONG.
I'm just quite literally saying i don't understand it.
I've been with women of most shapes and sizes, but i've never understood the anorexic look in the modeling industry. Those bones sticking out would hurt me. I was with a girl who weighed 90 lbs for a few years, but she was 5 feet tall.
The statement was leading into my idea that it has to do with keeping people in a perpetual state of thinking they need to buy new products, and my honest belief that we have become conditioned to an unrealistic standard of beauty.

i probably shouldn't be debating SHIT right now-someone i loved as a sister for 20 years has been dead for like under 40 hours.
But perhaps i am overly passionate about this subject because i get sick of my wife and mother asking me if they are fat :P

For me, the bottom line is that the standard of which you speak is harmful to people's psyches, and i wish we could move away from it as a society.

[Khrz]

@Khrz , i'm not saying it's WRONG.
I'm just quite literally saying i don't understand it.

Your phrasing read like "I don't get why people would be with x type of people" (well actually, that was litterally your phrasing). I wasn't judging you, I was on the other hand judging the fuck out of that sentence and its subtext. That sentence was implying that it was any business of yours to understand why people would want to be with other people. It's not even any of your business to actually wonder and ponder about that.
Some people want no breasts and some others want 6.4 ft tall weremooses, some want huge voluptuous asses and some dream of quirky elves, and why isn't even a question. There's no reason, it is.
I mean, you're free to disagree with other people's preferences if you're so inclined, but fantasies and relationships are none of your business.

[playwithfire]

When men "share their opinion" sans solicitation about a woman's attractiveness when she doesn't give two fucks what they think, like it matters. Great, you think Beyonce has a fat ass, showing you don't really know anything about gluteal muscles and how they are built. Good to know. I'm sure she's crying into her millions of dollars.

[elevenism]

Your phrasing read like "I don't get why people would be with x type of people" (well actually, that was litterally your phrasing). I wasn't judging you, I was on the other hand judging the fuck out of that sentence and its subtext. That sentence was implying that it was any business of yours to understand why people would want to be with other people. It's not even any of your business to actually wonder and ponder about that.
Some people want no breasts and some others want 6.4 ft tall weremooses, some want huge voluptuous asses and some dream of quirky elves, and why isn't even a question. There's no reason, it is.
I mean, you're free to disagree with other people's preferences if you're so inclined, but fantasies and relationships are none of your business.

i suppose i misspoke.
what i meant was that i, personally, do not find starving people attractive. i do not mean to judge people.
however, can't i ponder whatever i like?

[Ryan]

i suppose i misspoke.
what i meant was that i, personally, do not find starving people attractive. i do not mean to judge people.
however, can't i ponder whatever i like?

Of course you can't.

[orestes]

Pertinent as fuck.

[elevenism]

Being on this subject and watching that clip @orestes posted reminded me of this :

Rhonda Byrne, author of 'The Secret', says that if you don't want to get fat...."If you see people who are overweight, do not observe them, but immediately switch your mind to the picture of you in your perfect body and feel it."

My mother and i listened to this on tape. Hearing the voice actress read it in such a cheerful voice, with an English accent, and also as though she was conveying some deep mystery, was so fucking darkly funny and ridiculous that we still joke about it to this day.

[Khrz]

can't i ponder whatever i like?

Yeah sorry man, I misspoke as well. I just meant that there's absolutely no point, to me, in pondering what motivates people to be with each other.

[Jinsai]

I've spent so much money putting my studio together, planning and measuring everything out until my eyes bleed... and now I finally have everything connected and the central hub conversion module for line level to eurorack signal is malfunctioning... producing some steady blip. The carrot hanging from the end of the stick is starting to rot, and I feel like screaming as loud as I can.

and now... and NOW... the right monitor is buzzing and occasionally making this really awful click-splick-ta-click sound... it's quiet and my friend over today didn't notice, but it's driving me to the point of madness. The subtle buzzing makes my right ear feel like it's clogged, and the click-splick sound sounds like someone is leaning in and wetting their mouth right in front of my right ear. It's because my computer's power supply is having a grounding issue with the speaker plugged into the same outlet, and I can fix that, but it's going to take me basically rearranging EVERYTHING.

You get within breathing distance of the finishing line, and then the goal posts get shifted a mile away. I seriously want to curl up in a ball and cry.

[elevenism]

My mother is short tempered and is sometimes quite rude and cruel to me and others.
But if you call her out on it, YOU are doing something wrong. YOU are saying that she is a terrible person, etc.
There's never any "oh, i didn't mean to hurt you."
The only way you get an apology is if she escalates it to an utterly insane level. Then she comes in bawling a few hours later.
Other than that, she is infallible.

We moved in with her about 3 years ago, and many would ask why we don't just leave. But if i talk about leaving EVER, she becomes enraged, she cries, she asks me how i could do this to her.
There is also the matter of my ruined back and Sheap's encephalitis/epilepsy/whatever else is going on

I don't mind living off family money. It OBVIOUSLY has its perks.
It has a downside too, though.

[Millionaire]

it's beyond that though @Swykk .
[IMG][/IMG]
they called this girl "too fat" to be a model, for instance.

I've never been attracted to fashion models, anyway. Too skinny, and they have this vapid, personality-less expression that they are all coached to have. Maybe they need more hetero men in the fashion world to pick attractive models. I've met too many women in my life who are quite beautiful, but who've remarked to me that they think they are too fat, not pretty enough, or whatever because society says some stick on a billboard is beautiful. Fuck this standard and all those who promote it.

[Ryan]

@Millionaire Are you an actual millionaire?

[Millionaire]

@Millionaire Are you an actual millionaire?

No. I do alright though.

[Jinsai]

Maybe they need more hetero men in the fashion world to pick attractive models.

I'm sort of confused by this one. I can't even wrap my head around it... are you implying that skinny models are so popular because gay fashion guys think they're fabulous or something and don't understand what straight guys think is sexually appealing?

[sick among the pure]

Maybe they need more hetero men in the fashion world to pick attractive models. I've met too many women in my life who are quite beautiful, but who've remarked to me that they think they are too fat, not pretty enough, or whatever because society says some stick on a billboard is beautiful. Fuck this standard and all those who promote it.

And this has what to do with sexuality now?

[Millionaire]

It was a mistake saying hetero men. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Not sarcasm, btw.

[tony.parente]

Virtela, Singtel and Tata Communications can all fuck right off.

I've never talked to so many legitimately stupid people in my life, holy fucking christ.

[Sarah K]

Last night, I found out that someone I was once extremely close with died a couple of weeks ago. He was many different things to me, and I cannot believe it. He was only 32 years old.

He was my first friend in New York, a GREAT friend, the best sex of my life, a good support system. He's just fucking gone now. He was on an elevated highway in Queens when his car hit a median, and launched off of the side. His car fell 60 feet to the ground and landed on the roof. He was cut out of the car and taken to the hospital where he died a short time later.

A few months ago, his father passed away after years of being ill. His mom is also sick now, and he was the primary person who took care of her. I feel awful for her, his brothers, and his partner... She seems incredibly sweet.

If young ass people in my life could stop dying, that would be awesome.

[Khrz]

God that's terrible...

[Sarah K]

I keep obsessing over what he must have been going through in those last few seconds, when he knew he was going to die.

Fuck everything.

[Pillfred]

I guess since it hit 80° today that my apartment, idk, decided why not turn on the central air. It's cold as shit in here.

Also like I mentioned a while ago my foot is still fucked up. Was seemingly getting better but today the fucker just kills. I guess I track up another hospital visit bill on my next day off. It's been easy could months now and saying as I'm on my feet ask day at work and walk everywhere to begin with I gotta bit the bullet.

[eversonpoe]

I guess since it hit 80° today that my apartment, idk, decided why not turn on the central air. It's cold as shit in here.

Also like I mentioned a while ago my foot is still fucked up. Was seemingly getting better but today the fucker just kills. I guess I track up another hospital visit bill on my next day off. It's been easy could months now and saying as I'm on my feet ask day at work and walk everywhere to begin with I gotta bit the bullet.

i'm not entirely sure what your injury is, but certain injuries can be aggravated by extreme weather/pressure changes. since it got SO warm yesterday, i'm willing to bet that's a big part of it.

[Khrz]

I keep obsessing over what he must have been going through in those last few seconds, when he knew he was going to die.

Fuck everything.

I'm well aware of how easy it is to say, and of how relentless that kind of thought can be, but really, try not to think about it, and when you do, try to think about something else. That's a bottomless pit of pain right there, and there will never be any answer to that, nothing to settle it, nothing to comfort you.
That kind of loss is already huge, there's really no need to scrutinize and try to picture every "detail". That shit is a fucking fractal of grief. There's just no end to it.
I know it sounds a lot like "move on", and on many regards it is. But that's really the only way to weather that kind of storm and not snap in half.

[sick among the pure]

I love it when strangers on the street try to tell me the legal boundaries of my job. And by love I mean hate. Because people are stupid and don't actually know the law.
(To put this in context, I am a photographer for the local newspaper. People always seem to believe that you need to have a signed release to publish someone's photo. If you are in public, this isn't true, even if the person is underage. You are in public. I literally took 2 classes in my 4 years of college which covered heavily the laws surrounding photography.)
Extra points to the douchebags who threatening me for trying to take their picture in public.

[Substance242]

Ignored speed limits. Every day I drive twice by the highway construction site, and there are 50 km/h and 70 km/h speed limits, and every day I am overtaken by multitude of cars. Like, you overtake some stinky old diesel doing 80 km/h in normal 90 km/h area, just to be overtaken in the 70 km/h zone by it still doing 80 km/h soon after. Or worringly watching in rear view mirror how some fucking polish truck is getting closer and closer. I do understand sometimes it's best and safest to go with the flow, but these limits are there for a reason (temporary bridge and narrower road). Fuck this ignorance, when will we start behaving like decent people here. (And I am also not obeying all the rules all the time, e.g. in 70 km/h I am usually doing approx. 75 km/h according to GPS...:-)

Update: Also, this week I got "parking violation" and wheel clamp while at work, 50 € fine. Fifty - fucking - Euros. :-( In an area where it was always OK, but now suddenly all the cars were clamped. So I wake up sooner with the hope for free parking spaces, stress since the morning, great. Fuck.

[theimage13]

GF texted to say that she had to chase off a guy who was attempting to steal laundry....while fondling himself.

I'm staunchly anti death penalty, but I firmly believe that there should be a "show it to someone who didn't ask and we chop it off" penalty.