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Thread: The little things that piss you off

  1. #5881
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    Even if you ARE queer, it shouldn’t matter; having to explain yourself to some aggro wack job at CircusMart shouldn’t be necessary. They need more security at CircusMart.
    No doubt. Circus Mart pisses me off in general, for a whole host of reasons. They've done a LOT of terrible things: locking employees in overnight (a couple of them had medical emergencies and couldn't get out until the shift was over,) forcing people to work off the clock, selling clothes made in sweatshops, etc etc etc. But you damn near HAVE to shop there if you live in this area.

  2. #5882
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    my mom's dog (layla) is getting sort of close to the end. she has dementia, she goes to the bathroom in the house all the time, but most of the time she's in a decent mood. my mom is having a really hard time with the idea of letting her go, and i totally understand that.

    she never realized (until about two weeks ago, when i told her) that the day we brought layla home was the day i was sexually assaulted. it's part of the reason i've always felt a little weird about layla, and i've never gotten close to her (and also because she is 100% my mom's dog and no one else's).

    today, i was in a good mood for the first time in a while. i walked into my parents' house and said hi to their friends joe & heather who are in town staying with them, chatted for a couple minutes, and then before i went upstairs to work on mixing some music, my mom pulled out a picture of me, layla, and my high school girlfriend (who in part caused the nervous breakdown that led to my suicide attempt at the age of 17) and said "you were wrong about the timing of when we got layla!"

    first of all, no, i wasn't. we got her on august 23rd, 2002. i didn't start dating jeanz (yes, that was her name) until september 2003.
    secondly, why on earth would she use something that is potentially very upsetting to me to try to prove a point about something else that's also very upsetting to me?
    third, why would she do that in front of other people?

    i spent half my day trying not to cry or throw up because i was thinking about all of these awful things, and thinking about how on earth my mom could be so insensitive. she "apologized" by saying that she hadn't purposefully tried to upset me...which doesn't really make it better, since i know she wasn't intentionally trying to upset me. that doesn't make it any less shitty.

  3. #5883
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    @eversonpoe , hon, put yourself in your Mom’s shoes: she is losing her doggy friend, who is one of her kids. Her doggy child is dying. Your Mom is desperately trying to spin Layla’s life as something positive, to better handle Layla’s death. Your Mom has loved this dog for OVER FIFTEEN YEARS. But, you are making it all about you. Okay, you didn’t bond with the dog. But this dog’s existence has nothing to do with your direct history; she didn’t cause anything in your history. She’s an innocent bystander, collateral damage, guilt by association. Layla knows nothing of your history, she’s an innocent dog, at her end in life. Guilt by association isn’t fair to Layla, not her fault, not her burden. Your Mom needs help right now dealing with loss and grief, and I can only tell you this much, since I am old enough to be your Mom (and have dead parents): Someday your Mom will be gone, and you will be lighter in life and karma when that happen if you are kinder and gentler toward her life and burdens and sorrows now. Empathy toward a living suffering thing like Layla, outside of yourself, can be powerful, putting aside self, ego, etc. She is dying. Can you help her and your Mom in her transition? We don’t always understand why the fuck our parents do or say what they do, yet we often expect empathy without giving it. To be fully formed humans, we need to do both: receive empathy, but also provide it. Being the person we expect people to be toward us. I know it’s hard to love our parents sometimes, but I do know that it’s even harder when they’re dead and we are left in the world of what ifs and could’ve bend. Big picture is a lot of being a grownup, and that’s really hard to do (yet calming and forgiving).
    Last edited by allegro; 03-21-2018 at 01:22 AM.

  4. #5884
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    @eversonpoe , hon, put yourself in your Mom’s shoes: she is losing her doggy friend, who is one of her kids. Her doggy child is dying. Your Mom is desperately trying to spin Layla’s life as something positive, to better handle Layla’s death. Your Mom has loved this dog for OVER FIFTEEN YEARS. But, you are making it all about you. Okay, you didn’t bond with the dog. But this dog’s existence has nothing to do with your direct history; she didn’t cause anything in your history. She’s an innocent bystander, collateral damage, guilt by association. Layla knows nothing of your history, she’s an innocent dog, at her end in life. Guilt by association isn’t fair to Layla, not her fault, not her burden. Your Mom needs help right now dealing with loss and grief, and I can only tell you this much, since I am old enough to be your Mom (and have dead parents): Someday your Mom will be gone, and you will be lighter in life and karma when that happen if you are kinder and gentler toward her life and burdens and sorrows now. Empathy toward a living suffering thing like Layla, outside of yourself, can be powerful, putting aside self, ego, etc. She is dying. Can you help her and your Mom in her transition? We don’t always understand why the fuck our parents do or say what they do, yet we often expect empathy without giving it. To be fully formed humans, we need to do both: receive empathy, but also provide it. Being the person we expect people to be toward us. I know it’s hard to love our parents sometimes, but I do know that it’s even harder when they’re dead and we are left in the world of what ifs and could’ve bend. Big picture is a lot of being a grownup, and that’s really hard to do (yet calming and forgiving).
    i didn't mean to make it sound like i have no empathy for my mom, or that i'm making it all about me. i've really been there for her a lot, and i've been helping with layla as much as i can. i've always loved her, even though she's not the most affectionate dog. but a conversation happened recently where the day of layla's adoption came up, and my mom asked some questions that led me to telling about that day's events. it sucks that there's a negative association with it. i don't want there to be. i've never held it against layla at all, she's just never seemed interested in bonding with me even when i've tried, which has been at times painful for me because i've tried to break through the barrier of that painful memory.

    my mom has (in the last year or so) been increasingly oblivious to how her actions affect the people around her, and she's done and said quite a few very hurtful things simply because she hasn't put thought into them beforehand. it's become a pattern, and it's extremely painful. and i know she's not doing it on purpose, but again, that doesn't make it less hurtful.

  5. #5885
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    Ah, okay, I hear ya. That sucks. Mom is just stuck in her own shit right now.

    What pisses me off: Election bullshit. I told my husband yesterday that I’m SO glad this election stuff is over, so tired of 800 ads per day; then he reminded me JUST as reality hit me: this is the PRIMARIES, this is going to go on through NOVEMBER. I’m having dreams about friggin’ campaign ads for Christ sake.
    Last edited by allegro; 03-21-2018 at 06:27 AM.

  6. #5886
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    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    i've been off facebook for a couple months and it's been a mixed bag for me. while it's nice to not get quite so stressed out all the time trying to discuss what's going on in the world and especially in this country, i don't know what's going on in my friends' lives. i feel very disconnected from people that i care about. but because of the way our generation works, i feel like i can't just text all the people i miss interacting with on a daily basis. i feel like that would be intrusive, unexpected, and unwelcome. i really only hang out with two people besides my wife, and we have a couple other friends we see on occasion. i thrive on interacting with people and i absolutely miss that aspect of it. which is part of why i spend so much god damn time on this website (hahaha...ha...oh god) and i'm so invested in people on here not being assholes.

    /ramble
    Just check it when you need to. Nobody spends ages every day on the phone, you just use it as and when. Facebook taps into some weird human instinct to monitor our surroundings, you have to train yourself to resist it.

  7. #5887
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sutekh View Post
    Just check it when you need to. Nobody spends ages every day on the phone, you just use it as and when. Facebook taps into some weird human instinct to monitor our surroundings, you have to train yourself to resist it.
    it was too hard, that's why i deactivated it. i can't leave e-mails or text messages unread, so i obsessively check things to make sure there's no little red bubble with a number in it. i get panic attacks when i see my wife's phone with over 200 unread e-mails on it. oy veh.

  8. #5888
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    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    it was too hard, that's why i deactivated it. i can't leave e-mails or text messages unread, so i obsessively check things to make sure there's no little red bubble with a number in it. i get panic attacks when i see my wife's phone with over 200 unread e-mails on it. oy veh.
    Hey, so like, feel free to totally ignore this because I'm not your therapist. But I do have OCD, so I know compulsively doing stuff realllll well: have you tried CBT to lower some of the stress you get from it? Because this sounds like exactly the kind of thing CBT is best at helping with and CBT is the reason my OCD stays manageable.

  9. #5889
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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    Hey, so like, feel free to totally ignore this because I'm not your therapist. But I do have OCD, so I know compulsively doing stuff realllll well: have you tried CBT to lower some of the stress you get from it? Because this sounds like exactly the kind of thing CBT is best at helping with and CBT is the reason my OCD stays manageable.
    not really, but i know i should.

  10. #5890
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    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    not really, but i know i should.
    I sent you a few exercises that have basically saved me over the years, and they may not work for you, but literally just view it as some information you have access to that you can use or ignore. <3

  11. #5891
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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    I sent you a few exercises that have basically saved me over the years, and they may not work for you, but literally just view it as some information you have access to that you can use or ignore. <3
    you are the best and i adore you <3

  12. #5892
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    It's always sad when the people you thought you could count on because they were your friends stop talking to you for no reason in particular.

  13. #5893
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    somehow fucked up my back at work yesterday. it's gotten progressively worse since yesterday at about noon. no idea what i did but my mobility is decreasing and my pain is increasing, and i'm home by myself. not a great situation.

    unrelated - there's an all-vegan restaurant near us (i went vegan on feb 1st but had been eating plenty of vegan food before then) called Kal'ish that is freakin' delicious, and they had a sister restaurant next door called Longacre Pizza. not only was it the best vegan pizza i've had, but it's literally just the best pizza i've had, hands down. longacre closed for a month so they could expand into the space next door, and finally reopened this week...as a breakfast/lunch place. apparently they still have pizza (though it's not on their menu), but they close at 2:30pm every day. what kind of dumb fucking business model is that? they had a 4-star rating on yelp because of their pizza, and while i'm sure their brunch food might be good, there seem to be very few vegan options, and i'm really pissed off that i won't be able to get their pizza in the evenings anymore. i spent the last month looking forward to having their pizza again tonight as a friday treat, and now i'm just angry.

  14. #5894
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    So i had some good news this week where i got some extra cash so i can move...and not a moment too soon.

    Last night i was woken up by armed police banging on the house door at 2am. Apparently they were called to the house next door and got confused (mines 157, next doors 157a, easy mistake) One of the residents (who are also under the same landlord as me...who is awful) had smashed a window and tried to stab a few of the other residents. After a few hours of trying to contact the landlord (to no ones surprise he didn't answer) they guy was arrested and taken away. From what i could tell, this guy has been threatening people in that house for months and stealing from them (and breaking the shared washing machine) but the landlord has done sod all cause he pays his rent, and he'd rather someone actively threatening people then risk no one renting the room...

    I didn't feel comfortable there (our front door won't lock and our washing machine leaves clothes dirty after a wash) but now i'm actually scared!
    Hopefully i can find a new place soon.

  15. #5895
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haysey View Post
    So i had some good news this week where i got some extra cash so i can move...and not a moment too soon.

    Last night i was woken up by armed police banging on the house door at 2am. Apparently they were called to the house next door and got confused (mines 157, next doors 157a, easy mistake) One of the residents (who are also under the same landlord as me...who is awful) had smashed a window and tried to stab a few of the other residents. After a few hours of trying to contact the landlord (to no ones surprise he didn't answer) they guy was arrested and taken away. From what i could tell, this guy has been threatening people in that house for months and stealing from them (and breaking the shared washing machine) but the landlord has done sod all cause he pays his rent, and he'd rather someone actively threatening people then risk no one renting the room...

    I didn't feel comfortable there (our front door won't lock and our washing machine leaves clothes dirty after a wash) but now i'm actually scared!
    Hopefully i can find a new place soon.
    jesus christ, that's terrifying o.O

    good luck! we're moving real soon and i'm excited/nervous/just want to do it!

  16. #5896
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    I was reading Spin magazine out of boredom. Those journalists are so snarky and elitist. They trash most of the artists i like. What a piece of shit. I'll take that tired old Rolling Stone over them any day.

  17. #5897
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    Took my wife to the hospital yesterday for unbearable pain in her side and abdomen. They did a CT and when she asked for something for pain, they gave her iv haldol and ativan. They didn't bother asking what other medicines she was taking. Then the nurse came to discharge her without the dr even giving a diagnosis. I guess they just assumed she was drug seeking, which is laughable considering we all three have opiate prescriptions in this house.
    When we got her home, her jaw started clenching involuntarily and her head kept moving back and to the left by itself. Also, her body was shaking. Then she had a grand mal seizure.
    We had to call 911 and have her taken to ANOTHER emergency room.
    It turns out that haldol, mixed with effexor, causes an increased chance of the symptoms she experienced including seizure, dystonia, and Parkinson's like symptoms. Also, haldol isn't approved for IV push, and if it IS given IV, the patient is supposed to be closely monitored. They didn't monitor her; they immediately discharged her.
    I am fucking furious. It was utterly terrifying. I thought she was gonna die.
    Unfortunately, I'm not so sure we could win a law suit.

  18. #5898
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    Well, not a little thing that pisses me off but in the absence of a big things thread...

    I've been disabled for a decade (as of the 28th). It sucks.

  19. #5899
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    My mom has been on fentanyl for 15 fucking years and they are taking her off of it as a result of this stupid fucking drug war.

    She is 60. She has plates and screws in her neck that have fused with nerves. And of course, her tolerance is very high.
    She has NEVER misused it, EVER.

    She has been on a fairly high dose of the strongest opiate available for 25% of her life. She is going to get INSANELY sick.

    She doesn't fucking deserve this.

  20. #5900
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    Quote Originally Posted by elevenism View Post
    My mom has been on fentanyl for 15 fucking years and they are taking her off of it as a result of this stupid fucking drug war.

    She is 60. She has plates and screws in her neck that have fused with nerves. And of course, her tolerance is very high.
    She has NEVER misused it, EVER.

    She has been on a fairly high dose of the strongest opiate available for 25% of her life. She is going to get INSANELY sick.

    She doesn't fucking deserve this.
    Good thing we're stopping all those evil drug lords out to ruin our country...

    That's awful, man. I hate seeing this "drug war" affecting people that are even tangentially involved with my life, let alone the ones directly involved with it. I can't say that I know much about fentanyl specifically, but it sucks to hear that it's hitting home. The older I get, the more I notice that these decisions are impacting the lives of people I know more than I even realized. Are there even alternatives/equivalents for her?

  21. #5901
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    Quote Originally Posted by ImTheWiseJanitor View Post
    Good thing we're stopping all those evil drug lords out to ruin our country...

    That's awful, man. I hate seeing this "drug war" affecting people that are even tangentially involved with my life, let alone the ones directly involved with it. I can't say that I know much about fentanyl specifically, but it sucks to hear that it's hitting home. The older I get, the more I notice that these decisions are impacting the lives of people I know more than I even realized. Are there even alternatives/equivalents for her?
    fentanyl is THE STRONGEST opiate.
    They have offered her MS-Contin or a morphine pump.
    Now I was on MS-Contin and it didn't seem to do anything. Of course, I'm a fucking ADDICT addict. I was looking for euphoria.
    Maybe it will work for her, but I'm not so sure.

    The other offer is an internal morphine pump, like, as in, inside the body. This is a great idea except for the logistics of it you know? All kinds of weird shit could happen.

    Used to, the alternative was hydromorphone. And even switching from fent to THAT is fucking rough; we've looked into it.
    But the DEA is going after that now too.

    Also, man, thank you so much for caring. It means a lot to me.

  22. #5902
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    When FNG (fuckin new guy) comes in and expects the multi-billion dollar system and the billion dollar ownership to change.

    I work at a Chrysler dealership in the parts department. We hired a new guy, he was an assistant manager at an O'Reilly auto parts. He said on numerous occasions that StarParts, Chrysler's parts catalog "just wont work" and that "this has to change" in regards to how the software operates. He also says that in regards to how things work at a dealership that is owned by an out-of-state corporation, expecting systems set in place by people that make his yearly salary in a month to bend to him. Everything is "Well, at O'Reilly we...." or "It wasn't like this at O'Reilly..." and shit like that. Well, motherfucker, this isn't O'Reilly, StarParts isn't changing for you, and corporate isn't changing their PTO and insurance signup paperwork for YOU. Go back to sending me wrong calipers and not knowing what grease seals are.

  23. #5903
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    I'm done with Stephen king's website. The moderator is a total bitch. I just got tired of her deleting my threads. I won't waste my time there anymore.

  24. #5904
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boots View Post
    I'm done with Stephen king's website. The moderator is a total bitch. I just got tired of her deleting my threads. I won't waste my time there anymore.
    if you keep thinking other women are "bitches" and you keep being "done" with other forums because people are deleting your threads, maybe try to consider that you are the one with the issue? you have posted some pretty...unfriendly things here that have made me extremely uncomfortable, and i'm guessing you've done similar things on other forums you frequent. you tend to be abrasive and combative and i can understand why people woudn't want to put up with that somewhere that's meant to foster discussion.

  25. #5905
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    I have a new office because I have a new job. I'm finding that one of my two officemates (it's not a big office either) does everything loudly. Type, talk, breathe. For Pete's sake, I'm going to have to get a set of noise-cancelling headphones or something. He just finished an almost two-hour phone call that was on speaker phone and I could barely concentrate to do anything. I gave up on several things and started training because at least that allowed me to put my computer headphones on but it still bled through.

    I'm the - to borrow a term - FNG here so I don't know what to do. I do know that I am ecstatic that he only works in the office two days a week, though.

  26. #5906
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    So i should be posting my reaction/mini review for the anime film Mary and the Witches Flower (from the new team formed from former Studio Ghibli people)...should being the operative word!

    It was a one off one night only cinema screening of the Japanese film with subtitles, and the only London cinema showing it was an hours trip, but i was really looking forward to it so was happy to travel...unfortunately the company that was distributing the film to the cinema (and the rest of the cinemas showing it) FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE SUBTITLES! Also the cinema i was in was so fucking slow at even addressing the problem, the film had been playing for 30mins (with various people, myself inc, leaving to ask where the subtitles were) before they even said anything (they tried switching the film off and on again...seriously) before they offered everyone free popcorn and refunds so they could 're-book'...before the crowd reacted with angry as it was the ONLY SCREENING...

    Waste of 3 hours of my life inc travel...at least i have work off tomorrow and given the other things going on in my life this shouldn't really be a big deal...still annoyed though.

  27. #5907
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    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    if you keep thinking other women are "bitches" and you keep being "done" with other forums because people are deleting your threads, maybe try to consider that you are the one with the issue? you have posted some pretty...unfriendly things here that have made me extremely uncomfortable, and i'm guessing you've done similar things on other forums you frequent. you tend to be abrasive and combative and i can understand why people woudn't want to put up with that somewhere that's meant to foster discussion.
    i don't think @Boots really *gets* being part of a message board. she doesn't engage in conversation even when quoted. she makes her odd, repetitive posts and that's that.

    on topic: james spader. he sucks, he's hideous, and he ruined the office (us).
    Last edited by kel; 04-10-2018 at 04:58 PM.

  28. #5908
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    Quote Originally Posted by kel View Post
    i don't think @Boots really *gets* being part of a message board. she doesn't engage in conversation even when quoted. she makes her odd, repetitive posts and that's that.

    on topic: james spader. he sucks, he's hideous, and he ruined the office (us).
    yeah, you're right.

    re: james spader - he's great in Stargate...and that's about it.

  29. #5909
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    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    yeah, you're right.

    re: james spader - he's great in Stargate...and that's about it.
    What about sex, lies, & videotape, Crash (1996 film), Secretary?

  30. #5910
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    Quote Originally Posted by thevoid99 View Post
    What about sex, lies, & videotape, Crash (1996 film), Secretary?
    whoops, i forgot about those three since i've only seen each once (and none for a long time). yeah, he's quite good in all of those.

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