The little things that piss you off

[allegro]

my husband has had what we thought was the flu since thanksgiving. fever, aches, textbook case. last night (or this morning), he woke up shivering uncontrollably. not the normal flu shivers, he was having convulsions basically. i had no choice to go to work before his 3:45 appointment so my mom came and picked him up. he was admitted for severe dehydration and i got the news right before i was due to leave work.

and my relief was fucking late. and not just late, but late because she was stuck in the starbucks drive thru. i went off on her, BIG TIME before getting out of there. and now he's finally home and will hopefully be okay after a few days. all i can think about is my outburst on her, a much older woman than me.

tomorrow is going to suck/be awkward. i should have been able to keep it together, at least for a few extra minutes. hot headed nonsense, please eventually elude me.

I'm sure a big tip and an abject apology will make things all better. She's probably been treated like that a lot, sadly. We live in a world of zero patience.

[kel]

edit .....

[ldopa]

panic and thoughts of "FUCK THIS IS IT" have taken their toll, but there's another thread for that.

i think this at least once a day (even about things that don't seem serious to others.) and it's my "major flaw." it's an inherent thing and it's a hard habit to curb and control. some people just have this demeanor. it's hard to explain to others and since i'm stubborn, it's hard to apologize for my actions and words. then the 20/20 hindsight rolls in and you feel like a "bad" person, which makes you feel guilty, which is the most destructive emotion on the planet.

though you were in an emergency situation among people you might not be comfortable with, which is sorta justified and forgivable.

we're all fucking human, if you can (or want to) just level with the person "my loved one was going through shit, so in turn so was i etc...transference happens and the like..."

[tony.parente]

I ordered 2 shirts on 11/20, a "Hail Santa" shirt for me from Etsy and a "Drink Coffee, Hail Satan" shirt for my friend Sam for Xmas from a completely different site. I got Sams shirt 3 business days later and I'm still waiting for mine. I looked up the tracking number on my shirt and it shows the shop printed the shipping label on the 22nd but never got picked up by USPS, I message him through Etsy on the 28th and he responds within an hour and issues me a 50% refund and said when he got back to town he would look into it. He's now not responding to messages and the tracking number still shows not sent yet. I'm annoyed he's not responding and I'm wondering when the hell I file a dispute with Etsy.

I bought it hoping I would get it before Black Friday so I could wear it during my consumerist adventures but now I just want it and I'm fucking aggravated and impatient.

[Jinsai]

quitting smoking... again... Day one...

once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more

[elevenism]

i am SO. FUCKING. SICK.
I don't generally get sick. I've just got a really good immune system and a high constitution. When my mom and/or wife get sick, it's AWFUL and goes on for a long, long time. They do shit like don't make it to the bafroom when trying to vomit. They run high fevers and feel awful. I, on the other hand, will be a TINY bit sick for about 6-8 hours for every 168 hours of agony they suffer. I THOUGHT i was being empathetic, but it's been so long since i got sick that i didn't even know HOW to!

Welllllll, my brother and sister in law came with their kids (who are now 3.5 and 1.5.) They fucking adore me, and we had lots of hugs and cuddles and such.
The youngest, the little boy, got VIOLENTLY fucking ill. I mean, it's AWFUL. And i caught it! Every inch of my throat and sinus cavities feel like they're on fucking FIRE. My whole body hurts like hell. The fractured vertebra that were healing? No more. I can barely fucking walk and the referred pain into my ribs feel like there's pressure on my internal organs. The sinus cavities are all fucking clogged up so it's hard to breathe. I'm SO fucking nauseous-every medicine i try to take comes back up. The last time i was this sick was about 2010 or 11.

So as much as i wanna converse with you fuckers about the issues of the day, i have to lay down and won't be back till i'm better. :/
Wish me luck.

[kel]

get well, @elevenism .

insomnia. i've been watching seinfeld since 4.

[kel]

double post. sorry.

[ldopa]

scott weiland, john lennon, jim morrison

it's rock and roll sadness right now. and it truly does piss me off. it's not fangirl shit, it's memories/ nostalgia, inspiration, truth, mortality, empathy, and euphoria.

[Jinsai]

when people you're talking to on the phone start saying the same thing over and over again... What the hell was that? I mean, quite literally, almost verbatim, the same thing.

"So the movie starts at 9, so we should probably meet up at my place like an hour before? Yea, so if we met up here at 8, I think there should be plenty of time to safely get to the theater before the movie starts, because it doesn't actually start until 9, and that will give us a good hour to get from my place to the theater. So, yeah, it would be best if we tried to all get here about an hour before the movie starts. So lets meet at my place at 8 o'clock? Any later than that and we might not make it to the theater in time for the 9 o clock show. So I think we should try to head out at least an hour before, but an hour should be fine. So 8 o clock."

And you're responding with "sure. Ok. That's fine. Sure. Ok. OK. OH KAY. YES. WHAT THE FUCK?!" The actual conversation I just had was similar to that bit I just posted, but about ten times as long.

[elevenism]

I facepalm things here because i don't want to say i LIKE them, because the things being said are horrible. So i'm trying to show commiseration, and then my friends ( @Miss Baphomette ) think i'm trying to be mean to them, which i would never, ever do.

This whole thing extends to facebook too. I mean, how do you "like" a post that says "my family died in a car accident?"

I wish there was an "i feel you" button or something, on both sites.

So @Jinsai , do you think you could turn me on to some good tutorials for fl studio 11? Yeah, i think i could make some really hot tracks with it if someone showed me the right tutorials, so do you think you could do it? If you don't show them to me, i don't think the tracks are gonna work out, so it would be cool if you did. SO, do you think you could just let me know which ones to watch?

OH yeah, and i'm also still sick as fuck, and so i'm probably gonna die pretty soon.
Make sure they play Life on Mars and Whiter Shade of Pale at the funeral.

[Dra508]

quitting smoking... again... Day one...

once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more

Time and distance between urge and action. Want to light up, literally walk around the block.

[elevenism]

quitting smoking... again... Day one...

once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more

Two words @Jinsai : Vapor. Izer.
I went from 2 packs of filterless cigs a day to a vape.
I started with 4.8% nicotine (which i had to order from fucking china, but that's what it took.)
I dropped to 3.6, then 2.4, and now i'm at 1.8 or 1.2 .
It REALLY works man, it really does. And even if you don't kick the vape, it's still a hell of a lot better than smoking. Nicotine DOES harden your arteries in any form, but gone are the looming inevitabilities of emphysema and cancer and COPD (as far as we know.)
The jury is still out, but if you really get into the "vaping is awful for you!" studies, you will find that they often manipulate factors to reach the desired answers, and if you follow the money trail, are often funded by big tobacco companies (who are hedging their bets by investing in vaporizer companies, which REALLY cracks me up)

[playwithfire]

thank you, @allegro. the sarna really makes the itch go away nearly instantly.

and i'll try the benadryl tonight.

i just had an ah-hah moment, though; every time i touch money at work, EVERYTIME, i use hand sanitizer. that's gotta be exacerbating it. duh.

While I don't have eczema, I have OCD, and my hands take a beating (they can crack and bleed if I'm not careful sometimes once the weather gets cold) because of it. If you ever just need a regular super strong lotion, this is my favorite. Also, could you possibly wear nitrile gloves when you handle money at work? Tattoo gloves fit really tightly and look cool.

[Baphomette]

I facepalm things here because i don't want to say i LIKE them, because the things being said are horrible. So i'm trying to show commiseration, and then my friends ( @Miss Baphomette ) think i'm trying to be mean to them, which i would never, ever do.

WTF are you talking about???? We had one conversation about that, months and months ago and we cleared it up.



You make it sound like it happens on a continual basis.

[elevenism]

WTF are you talking about???? We had one conversation about that, months and months ago and we cleared it up.



You make it sound like it happens on a continual basis.

that's not what i meant.
i just meant it for example-and i wonder how many other people have misunderstood what i meant by it.

Edit: and that was the best example i could find, where someone got the most upset!
I am NOT trying to talk shit about you @Miss Baphomette .

[allegro]

Two words @Jinsai : Vapor. Izer.

No no no. That's not quitting, that's just a replacement. It's like switching to beer instead of hard liquor when you're an alcoholic. Nicotine is still nicotine to your heart, lungs, cancer, everything. Just.quit.nicotine. Period. People who CHEW get fucking mouth cancer. I smoked for 20+ years and I'm still having longterm affects from chronic bronchitis. Addiction to nicotine sucks. It took me, like, SEVEN fucking times to finally quit but it's been 15 years and I still haven't had a cigarette (I smoked a pack a day). I've seen too many people die or have a stroke from that shit (and look old way too fast). My dad smokes 3 packs per day with Type 1 diabetes and went blind because of smoking, and he still smokes. It's an addiction. Quit it.

@Jinsai has tried to quit, before, and we used to have an entire thread devoted to this topic on the old board. Nicotine replacement in the form of the patch or gum or lozenges is limited in amount because the goal is quitting with a countdown to that final date.

edit: Here's the "Quit Smoking" thread from this new board.

[Jinsai]

No no no. That's not quitting, that's just a replacement. It's like switching to beer instead of hard liquor when you're an alcoholic. Nicotine is still nicotine to your heart, lungs, cancer, everything. Just.quit.nicotine. Period. People who CHEW get fucking mouth cancer. I smoked for 20+ years and I'm still having longterm affects from chronic bronchitis. Addiction to nicotine sucks. It took me, like, SEVEN fucking times to finally quit but it's been 15 years and I still haven't had a cigarette (I smoked a pack a day). I've seen too many people die or have a stroke from that shit (and look old way too fast). My dad smokes 3 packs per day with Type 1 diabetes and went blind because of smoking, and he still smokes. It's an addiction. Quit it.

@Jinsai has tried to quit, before, and we used to have an entire thread devoted to this topic on the old board. Nicotine replacement in the form of the patch or gum or lozenges is limited in amount because the goal is quitting with a countdown to that final date.

edit: Here's the "Quit Smoking" thread from this new board.

Man reading through that thread makes me feel so guilty and lame. I had it under control, and at some point I fucked up. It is SO fucking hard to get through the initial withdrawals. Your mind plays so many tricks on you, and you find yourself trying to trick yourself. It sucks so much.

[allegro]

Man reading through that thread makes me feel so guilty and lame. I had it under control, and at some point I fucked up. It is SO fucking hard to get through the initial withdrawals. Your mind plays so many tricks on you, and you find yourself trying to trick yourself. It sucks so much.

Dude, like I said, I did hypnosis twice, cold turkey, all kinds of shit, at least SEVEN TIMES, and I guess that's the AVERAGE. So don't feel bad, just keep trying until you finally get it, because you will. I hope this is the time! It really does suck so much, it's a nasty (and fucking expensive) addiction, and it will fucking kill you, dude, don't let it win.

My uncle is currently in hospice right now with Stage 4 COPD, it's fucking NASTY, ugh. Like breathing through a STRAW as far as lung capacity, like drowning. And you can quit and that shit can still sneak up on you 20 years later from the damage. The sooner you quit, the more likely that won't happen, hopefully. G's cousin is on 24/7 oxygen, carrying around a tank, and she quit smoking 10 years ago. Nicotine is the devil. If the initial withdrawal is that bad for you, go get the strongest patch available; that worked wonders for me. It's not a miracle, though, it works in combo with behavioral modification and you have to want to quit, natch. Good luck, and go post in that other thread for support it you need it.

[Dra508]

Your mind plays so many tricks on you, and you find yourself trying to trick yourself. It sucks so much.

I know there are people here who have strong opinions about anti-depressives, but I took Wellbutrin to quit and it really did take the edge off. a gradual tapering off, a quit date, Along with lozenses and a nurse practitioner who I visited every other week for like 6 weeks. It wasn't one thing, it was the combination. As much as your brain says it isn't possible, why try, it is possible and you actually do feel good about the accomplishment along with feeling healthier.


I came here to whine about how I was a lazy ass to get to the post office to ship a gift that she now won't get until after christmas. fuckdickballs.

[elevenism]

No no no. That's not quitting, that's just a replacement.

but it's the only thing that's ever helped me. it makes it to where you can taper the amount of nicotine.
and i expect that i'll be done with it in 6 months or so.

Like i said, 2 packs a day with no filters...there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell i was gonna quit cold turkey.
i smoked like that for 21 years or so.
Now i can breathe and the end of the whole thing is in sight as i slowly lower the amount nicotine juice at a rate i can handle, you feel me?

I couldn't quit with gum or patches either because there is no replacement for the "hand to mouth" addiction. There is also no replacement for the RELATIONSHIP you have with the cig. You might be sitting in a room not saying anything, but you don't have to say anything. You're SMOKING. I don't know if that makes sense...it's like a defense mechanism for socially awkward situations.

OK check this out. A lot of people get into vaping, and they want bigger, stronger toys. They modify them to blow ridiculous clouds of smoke that look, to me, like a heart attack waiting to happen.
That's not what i'm doing, or suggesting. do if you wanna QUIT NICOTINE. We are buying lower and lower levels of nicotine juice until we get to ZERO percent. They do make zero percent, and i imagine i will even be on THAT shit for awhile. (re: psychological addiction)

I don't mean to say that vaping is safe, but it's safER for the time that you're using it, and is a MUCH better aid than any other i've ever tried. i'm telling you @allegro , i think the vaporizer is saving my fucking life.

Here's famous attention whore dave navarro talking about it. his argument has more clout than mine because he was a mediocre guitarist for a band in the late eighties and early nineties.

[allegro]

Like i said, 2 packs a day with no filters...there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell i was gonna quit cold turkey

my father-in-law did. Two packs of no-filters per day, 40 fucking years. he quit drinking, too, was a stone alcoholic. I asked him how he quit smoking, he said he stopped and when he wanted one, he told himself he'd wait an hour and then after an hour, he said he'd wait another hour. And that turned into months, then years.

My "hand-to-mouth" isn't addiction but is part of BEHAVIORAL MODIFICATION. That's why so many people get fat when they quit smoking. It's also "cause and effect" because you have programmed yourself ("when I quit smoking, this this and this happens" and then it does.) Again, go to a hypnotherapist, they'll explain all of this to you and why your reptilian brain controls you. Continue discussion HERE PLEASE, instead of polluting this thread. You haven't quit. I've quit for fifteen years. Talk to me in fifteen years after you've quit for that long. But six months, that's a REALLY long time. Nicotine, itself, doesn't cause cancer. But, it's still not healthy for you, it's still addictive, and it's mixed with all that other shit and hot fumes in your lungs is still bad. Please, though, continue in that other thread.

[orestes]

So glad I work for a company that's "family-oriented" and wants me to work Christmas night. Oh, no, looks like I'll be coming down with a case of blue flu.

[allegro]

I've been putting everything and everybody else ahead of myself but I finally saw my primary physician today, and she had them do X-Rays and a lung capacity test (spirometer) and:

I have an acute ear infection, a sinus infection, and asthma, and I'm probably really allergic to my cats and my dog, although I aced that spirometer so I don't have COPD, whew.

So now I'm on an antibiotic, and Singulair, and I have a rescue inhaler to try. If that doesn't help my wheezing, a pulmonary Doctor is in my future.

We have a beautiful fresh-cut Christmas tree and G keeps telling me that it smells great, but I can't smell anything.

[tony.parente]

Fun fact: when you're allergic to cats you're not allergic to their dander you're actually allergic to an enzyme in their spit!!

[Swykk]

My workplace has decorations up for Christmas featuring the single cheesiest heavy handed bullshit Christmas movie--It's A Wonderful Life and my depression/hatred is like, "BUDDY! Drink it in! Drink. It. In. The fake goodwill during the holidays. The pageantry. Eat it up, friend! Become The Hulk."

I was so angry and depressed yesterday my whole head hurt like I'd been punched repeatedly...which makes me think anxiety was sliding in there and I probably was forgetting to breathe a lot.

[Archive_Reports]

ESPN has turned into unmitigated garbage and every on-air personality has turned into some sort of caricature of an actual human being.

[allegro]

My workplace has decorations up for Christmas featuring the single cheesiest heavy handed bullshit Christmas movie--It's A Wonderful Life and my depression/hatred is like, "BUDDY! Drink it in! Drink. It. In. The fake goodwill during the holidays. The pageantry. Eat it up, friend! Become The Hulk."

I was so angry and depressed yesterday my whole head hurt like I'd been punched repeatedly...which makes me think anxiety was sliding in there and I probably was forgetting to breathe a lot.

Yeah, I've tried boycotting Christmas when I just wasn't "in the mood" for all that shit, and it reminded me how much it must SUCK to be Jewish (or anything not Christian) at Christmas. It was IMPOSSIBLE to escape it. Christmas music in the bathroom in restaurants, decorations everywhere, you just don't realize it until you try to GET AWAY FROM IT, the only place I've ever been able to totally escape it, pretty much, was South Beach at Christmas.

[elevenism]

good god y'all, i'm still so fucking sick. like curled up in a ball crying sick.
i'm pretty sure i've got pneumonia now. drs appt tomorrow.

[Timinator]

Being back in North America, with lots of American TV channels, and all the FUCKING TV ADS FOR DRUGS WHAT THE EVERLASTING FUCK?