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Thread: The little things that piss you off

  1. #6931
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    I was laughing to myself wondering at the color choices for that and remembered this comic when I got to green:


  2. #6932
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    Hey, @eversonpoe, would this work with Xfinity's XFi Gateway? I'd have to put XFi in bridge mode?
    Funnily enough the week before school started I got the email from Comcast about the Gateway and the new pods that they are using. I was interested until I saw the whole "it'll replace your current modem" - we own ours - "and it's an extra $30 a month".

    the rest of your question I'm not sure about since I still have my modem and use the P9 as the router.

  3. #6933
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegate View Post
    Funnily enough the week before school started I got the email from Comcast about the Gateway and the new pods that they are using. I was interested until I saw the whole "it'll replace your current modem" - we own ours - "and it's an extra $30 a month".

    the rest of your question I'm not sure about since I still have my modem and use the P9 as the router.
    I deleted the question because I realized that I'd have to put the XFi router into Gateway mode. And I did that before with my Apple router. I still HAVE the Apple router, works great. Long story. But I have SO much connected (garage door opener, doorbell, washer and dryer, ad nauseum), I’m too lazy to re-do it all.

    The problem with Xfi is that the modem works fine, but their router sucks. So, the workaround is the pods. (Kinda.) Since I bought the additional pods, it helped a lot. We only pay $20/mo for the Xfi modem/router, which is fine because it's constantly upgraded. And we are moving into a world where a LOT of this is going to change.

    Edit: I'm gonna see if I can get the WiFi 6 XFi (which I guess I can get at no extra charge).
    Last edited by allegro; 09-11-2020 at 05:08 PM.

  4. #6934
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  5. #6935
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    GODDAMN FUCKING SHIT FUCK...

    WHY is it so hard for me to just get a Wii arcade fighting stick off eBay?
    The first one I ordered was broken out of the box, and so (for the first time ever) I'm returning something on eBay, and then I order another one for another 100 bucks...

    This one, I open the box, and then the controller is in another box, and I pull it out and tilt it... and the controller spills out of the box and shatters on the ground.
    I am so fucking pissed right now. WHAT THE FUCK is the point of the "box" if one side of it is missing?!?!?!

  6. #6936
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegro View Post
    I deleted the question because I realized that I'd have to put the XFi router into Gateway mode. And I did that before with my Apple router. I still HAVE the Apple router, works great. Long story. But I have SO much connected (garage door opener, doorbell, washer and dryer, ad nauseum), Iím too lazy to re-do it all.

    The problem with Xfi is that the modem works fine, but their router sucks. So, the workaround is the pods. (Kinda.) Since I bought the additional pods, it helped a lot. We only pay $20/mo for the Xfi modem/router, which is fine because it's constantly upgraded. And we are moving into a world where a LOT of this is going to change.

    Edit: I'm gonna see if I can get the WiFi 6 XFi (which I guess I can get at no extra charge).
    AN UPDATE: so it was working great until yesterday. Randomly one of the three pods will just give up the ghost and start blinking red lights, several times one of the three died in just the three hours I was working on it last night. The only way you can access the pods is through the app - no more 192.168.0.1 access - and it's like "oh hey we don't see that one". The actual message I was getting - because I screen-shotted the fucker - is "Something went wrong with the Cloud service. Please try again. If you are still unsuccessful after several attempts, connect to your Decos Wi-Fi network and then try again." Really? That's what you want me to try? Connecting to the Wi-Fi of a device that isn't currently broadcasting? Is that all. Gee, if only I had thought of that...

    Another error message - that I need to also screenshot next time it happens - is "hey, maybe you should try moving them closer together". Uh, and how is that going to help if I have to unplug them to move them closer together? Let's say it works, me moving them closer together. What do I do when I have to move the wonky one back to it's original place? The whole point of these things is that they create a mesh throughout the house so if I have to put them next to each other that is a small-ass mesh, yes? And it's not like I have a big house! It's a living room with a hallway and two bedrooms at the end. There's like 20 feet max between each pod - one next to the modem, one at the beginning of the hallway, and one in my bedroom - so it's not like I'm trying to wire up Warwick Castle.

    I'm a little fired up, yeah? Especially because there's at-home learning going on and this was supposed to be the panacea for our wi-fi problems. granted no tech is that but you'd think it'd work a teensy bit better.

    All that said, there was a firmware update this morning. I don't know if it's related but I hope to hell that when I get home I hear that there were no problems today. I checked and I have until October to return them so it will not be boxed up until at least next week.

    side note: Apparently there is a V1 and V2 of the product and amazon sent me V1. Great. And the TPlink forums aren't model-delineated so I have to search through threads from people who have no idea how a forum works. ugh.

    If I have to I'll see if I can also get the W6XFi thing - even if I don't have a single W6 device - as that is the one I was excited about.

  7. #6937
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
    GODDAMN FUCKING SHIT FUCK...

    WHY is it so hard for me to just get a Wii arcade fighting stick off eBay?
    The first one I ordered was broken out of the box, and so (for the first time ever) I'm returning something on eBay, and then I order another one for another 100 bucks...

    This one, I open the box, and then the controller is in another box, and I pull it out and tilt it... and the controller spills out of the box and shatters on the ground.
    I am so fucking pissed right now. WHAT THE FUCK is the point of the "box" if one side of it is missing?!?!?!
    ...have you considered the possibility that there was something wrong with the stick and they sent it to you in such a way that it would break immediately and then say "well it worked when we shipped it"?

    I am a very cynical person, you see, that's why I thought of that.

  8. #6938
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegate View Post
    ...have you considered the possibility that there was something wrong with the stick and they sent it to you in such a way that it would break immediately and then say "well it worked when we shipped it"?

    I am a very cynical person, you see, that's why I thought of that.
    It's totally possible, but I'll never know. I just have to eat this... it really did hit the tile floor HARD. I just stood there stunned for about ten seconds or so. There's no way that it could still really work after that. It'd have to have been built like a tank.

    ...and just now, for the third time, I have bought one of these things off eBay. Third times a charm?

  9. #6939
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    The new craze where everyone calls anyone with whom they intensely disagree a pedophile isn't the most exciting craze for those of us who deal with childhood sexual trauma.

  10. #6940
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    also "unhinged" has taken a new meaning this year as it's used to describe everything/everyone.

  11. #6941
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegate View Post
    ...have you considered the possibility that there was something wrong with the stick and they sent it to you in such a way that it would break immediately and then say "well it worked when we shipped it"?

    I am a very cynical person, you see, that's why I thought of that.

  12. #6942
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  13. #6943
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    today i saw a lesbian (yes, it does matter to the story) freaking out at someone i follow on twitter. i was trying to be calm and reasonable when i engaged with her, and she repeatedly told me that she didn't "give a fuck" about my feelings, that her "rights are being taken away," and various other things. almost everything she said was super transphobic. when she started freaking out, she was complaining about a bisexual woman being homophobic for saying that lesbians are monosexual (which is true) and that it's unfortunate that so many lesbians won't consider sleeping with trans women because they don't consider us "real" women. after a bit of back and forth, she called me homophobic (which is hilarious because i'm pansexual and have dealt with homophobia for 20 years) on her own timeline, and then i blocked her.

    it is so ridiculous how many people in the queer community are transphobes. it just makes no fucking sense.

    tl;dr i got called homophobic by a lesbian TERF today which is just all kinds of ironic.

  14. #6944
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    @eversonpoe the internet can be a terrible, terrible place. Right now especially, when it's the only way a lot of people have available to connect with other humans.
    I think we're going through a social experiment, and it's revealing some really bad stuff about us while it drives us crazy. This person you're talking about sounds REALLY pissed off. I can identify with that, and I can promise that being super pissed off and frustrated can make you think/feel/say incredibly stupid things.

    I can't claim to understand a woman who identifies as a lesbian attacking the transexual community... that sounds incredibly stupid, counter productive, etc... Then again, I'm a boring straight white guy.

    There's a chance that this person just might be going nuts. It might not be that she's as bigoted as she sounds. If anything, her bigotry is seemingly self-confrontational. I don't know this person... maybe she is really just confused right now, and that's something I can completely sympathize with. Either way, yeah, we probably all need to just block people when they say stuff like this. You won't get anywhere trying to reason with someone who has this "stance." Nobody wins, and nobody can help.

  15. #6945
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
    ...the transexual community...
    *transgender

    transsexual is an outdated (and often inaccurate) term.

    anyway, when i looked back through her timeline, it's all classic TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist) behavior, so this isn't a new thing for her.
    it also doesn't help that JK Rowling, a beloved author with a reach that rivals most celebrities, has become an outspoken TERF, and so many of her fans have internalized her beliefs. her upcoming book is about "a murderous cis man who dresses as a woman to kill his victims." i read an excerpt from it and in two paragraphs, she manages to be racist on two different levels, as well as transphobic! it's honestly impressive.

    people have so many misconceptions about the trans community. this woman actually regurgitated the "you're trying to take away our bathrooms" bullshit. she seems to think that by giving trans women rights, hers are being infringed upon. it's the same way that right wingers think that giving rights to people of color somehow takes away their rights (which is just straight up racism). it's fucking ridiculous. it's not a pie; giving some of it to other people doesn't mean you get less. it's such a narrow way of thinking and it harms so many people.

    anyway, i'm just getting really fed up with how shitty people are. it's so easy to be kind and people still choose to be horrible. i really don't understand it.

  16. #6946
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
    There's a chance that this person just might be going nuts. It might not be that she's as bigoted as she sounds. If anything, her bigotry is seemingly self-confrontational. I don't know this person... maybe she is really just confused right now, and that's something I can completely sympathize with. Either way, yeah, we probably all need to just block people when they say stuff like this. You won't get anywhere trying to reason with someone who has this "stance." Nobody wins, and nobody can help.
    something I learned this morning: CO2 buildup can happen when you never open your windows in your house, and we've been unable to open windows for the past week due to the fires here. I at least leave the house to go to work every day but my wife and son are stuck home for school and other things. Both of them have been unreasonably cranky for the past few days so I'm thinking of making them drive around - he's getting his learner's permit - more at night to give them a chance to air themselves out.

    edit: I hit submit without remembering I had a point to this comment. anyway, nuts or CO2 poisoning: 2020 bringing the hits.

  17. #6947
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    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    *transgender

    transsexual is an outdated (and often inaccurate) term.
    No disrespect or insult was intended.

  18. #6948
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
    No disrespect or insult was intended.
    i know! i was just letting you know! otherwise i would have gotten mad

  19. #6949
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegate View Post
    AN UPDATE: so it was working great until yesterday. Randomly one of the three pods will just give up the ghost and start blinking red lights, several times one of the three died in just the three hours I was working on it last night. The only way you can access the pods is through the app - no more 192.168.0.1 access - and it's like "oh hey we don't see that one". The actual message I was getting - because I screen-shotted the fucker - is "Something went wrong with the Cloud service. Please try again. If you are still unsuccessful after several attempts, connect to your Decos Wi-Fi network and then try again." Really? That's what you want me to try? Connecting to the Wi-Fi of a device that isn't currently broadcasting? Is that all. Gee, if only I had thought of that...
    Yeah, I saw the "unreliable" review for that and many other routers, that's why I stuck with what I had.

    FWIW: I moved my router to the most central location possible; I’m in a stretch ranch, the modem/router WAS in the basement on the far west end of the house, but I moved it to the middle of the basement. I put the three pods to various areas of the house, but put one pod RIGHT IN MY OFFICE upstairs on the east end of the house; I connected my laptop directly into the pod via Ethernet.

    At this very moment (it fluctuates depending on atmosphere), I'm getting 37 Mbps on my laptop in my office on the east side of the house, and 316 Mbps on the west side of the house, upstairs.
    Last edited by allegro; 09-19-2020 at 12:33 PM.

  20. #6950
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    Quote Originally Posted by eversonpoe View Post
    *transgender

    transsexual is an outdated (and often inaccurate) term.

    anyway, when i looked back through her timeline, it's all classic TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist) behavior, so this isn't a new thing for her.
    it also doesn't help that JK Rowling, a beloved author with a reach that rivals most celebrities, has become an outspoken TERF, and so many of her fans have internalized her beliefs. her upcoming book is about "a murderous cis man who dresses as a woman to kill his victims." i read an excerpt from it and in two paragraphs, she manages to be racist on two different levels, as well as transphobic! it's honestly impressive.
    I agree, having been best friends with a gay man (who was sometimes bisexual but eventually decidedly gay) and having been among his circle of friends from the 1970s through the 1990s when he passed away, it was dismaying that the gay community can be very discriminatory. Not just toward the transgender community, but toward EACH OTHER. For instance, in Detroit, "gay" clubs were nearly 100% frequented by homosexual males and the occasional female (who were deemed "fish flies"). Lesbians had to find their own hangouts. Transgender individuals were poked fun at behind their backs by gay men. It's not all some big giant tent. I've been saddened by this throughout my life.

    How a lesbian - who's undoubtedly been to gay bars (unless she's living in a podunk town) where we all share the same bathrooms with ZERO problems - thinks that the trans community is affecting her in ANY way is just, I don't know ... I think it's just more conservative bullshit, really. Just because you're gay or lesbian doesn't mean you're necessarily "liberal." And the word "feminist" is thrown around with no real definition, anymore.

    When I was growing up in the 60s/70s "feminist" meant the "Women's Liberation Movement" and women who burned their bras and demanded that they be allowed to sign contracts or have a credit card or own real estate without their husbands.

    But in high school, I studied Simone de Beauvoir and I became somewhat obsessed. And so it began.

    In college, as an English Literature major, I especially focused on feminist theory. I focused my Captone thesis exploring Eve's role in the Genesis story in Milton's "Paradise Lost" from the feminist perspective. I wrote a research essay exploring Elizabeth's role in Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" from the feminist perspective. I wrote a research essay exploring Portia's role in Shakespeare's "The Merchant of Venice" from the feminist perspective. Etc. etc. etc.

    You can find, literally, HUNDREDS of scholarly articles, each containing 25-30 pages, making bold, elaborate claims that Eve is the blame for the downfall of mankind in the Genesis story. Or that Portia is a bitch. Or, on the other hand, that Elizabeth is a feminist (she is not; she married money, because that's what women did to survive in the Regency period).

    And what perplexes me about so-called "feminists" like Rowling is that she is most-decidedly NOT a "feminist." She's more Phyllis Schlafly than Simone de Beauvoir. Rowling is 100% conservative. She is perpetuating conservative myths that are anti-women's rights. It shouldn't MATTER if you have the "parts" or not. Plenty of cis women have non-working parts, missing parts, it doesn't matter. The sex part isn't what makes a woman that gender.

    See de Beauvoir, "One is not born but becomes a woman."

    So now, we are again at a point in history where the term "feminist" has become totally toxic; in the 70s, it was commandeered by right-wing conservatives to equal "crazy man-hating lesbians" (feminazis) and now it's including much much more, has become SO toxic that I can, yet again, no longer even associate myself with it.

    Back in the 80s, it got so bad that I had to start calling myself an "egalitarian."

    You can see, of course, if you think about it, the underlying intention. It's insidious, but it's there: It's intentionally harming women, without women even REALIZING that it's happening. Even idiots like Rowling are contributing to the narrative that women are SO weak, we must be "protected" from the "dangerous predators" who seek to destroy women. For these women, this is always "men" - even if those men are now women. This is not "equality" for women. This is a dangerous narrative that means that women are "feminazis." They're becoming Rush Limbaugh's best friend.

    It's just too bad that we all can't have love and empathy for one another, inclusively, to see each other's thousands of years of struggles, pain, issues, and to help each other with them, under a big, loving tent. Because I still believe it's possible. We've come SO far.

    I can only say to you that it's not really worth arguing with these people. I've tried doing this, they're right-wing conservatives, they're in the same category as Trump supporters. Again, just because they're "gay" doesn't make them "liberal." Hugs to you.
    Last edited by allegro; 09-17-2020 at 10:37 PM.

  21. #6951
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    The last bar/restaurant I worked at didn't market itself as a gay bar but, when I signed on, I was one of two straight bartenders and, when I was promoted shortly after, I was the only straight member of a fairly large management team. I'm still in touch with a bunch of the crew; they were generally genuinely good people. But you know what pisses me off? The casual misogyny of a shitload of gay men. This came up a bunch while I worked there and eventually I was too worn down to really even yell at them about it.

    I'm not into dicks—dicks in me, dicks on me, whatever. They're dicks. If they do it for you, cool. I feel about dicks the same way I feel about mustard. I don't eat mustard and I don't find it appealing. If you rubbed mustard on me, I'd hurry to wipe it off. But I'm not going to tell you that no one should ever even discuss mustard because it's so gross the world would be better without it. I can contemplate the existence of mustard without feeling the need to yell about how disgusting mustard is.

    The way a shitload of gay men I've met treat the fucking vagina, holy shit. There's real effort put into screeds about how fucking repellant and horrifying the female anatomy is. You'd think that gay men would understand that "it's a fucking horror show that shouldn't be allowed by nature" is exactly the kind of attitude that people have about them. And, as such, it's probably not great or helpful to anyone. There were a few gay men at this place in particular that were more aggressively honked off about the existence of the vagina than some of the violently aggro cis straight guys with whom I played baseball when I was young, and who eventually beat me up in high school for wearing makeup and dresses and such.

    I'm not asking any gay man to praise the vagina as beautiful or powerful or delicate or delicious or what the hell ever. I'm not even asking any gay man to think about or discuss the vagina. But I would at the very least expect a gay man to not, of his own accord, expound on how horrible and repulsive and incomprehensible the vagina, menstruation, dickless sex is to them. It's fucking dizzyingly weird to see how many gay guys seem to think this is not only okay, but cute. Cool, I get it, you're Gold Star Gay and never even thought about touching a woman—awesome. But does your prestige and self-confidence of identity (which takes a lot in the face of a bigoted society; I get it) have to come at the price of another community's humanity? Especially another marginalized one?

    If vagina ain't for you, cool. But women aren't disgusting for having them.

    Why in the blue fuck do I have to type a sentence like that?

  22. #6952
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    My gay best friend was living with his gay boyfriend who, seriously, said "if you're bi, there is something REALLY fucking WRONG with you." I never forgot that, it just seemed, like, HUH?

    This guy considered the whole prospect "twisted."

    And I think the Gold Star issue might be why the lesbian that @eversonpoe mentions, above, wasn't willing to even consider a transgender woman; because if the woman USED TO BE a man, then the Gold Star is removed? I dunno, it's all weird. I guess we shouldn't really question people's attractions. But, blatant hatred, like you mention, crosses lines. It's phobia.
    Last edited by allegro; 09-17-2020 at 10:01 PM.

  23. #6953
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    @Sesquipedalism , I've only really heard about this sort of thing; not really overheard it or experienced it outside of a couple surprising moments.

    Would you say most people talking like this did so when they were drunk? Like, maybe this is the kind of "sloppy locker room talk" that happens in that environment?

  24. #6954
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
    @Sesquipedalism , I've only really heard about this sort of thing; not really overheard it or experienced it outside of a couple surprising moments.

    Would you say most people talking like this did so when they were drunk? Like, maybe this is the kind of "sloppy locker room talk" that happens in that environment?
    Nah, it's a thing. See also femmephobia, which is toxic masculinity among gays.

    Caveat: Neither of us are saying that all (or even the majority) of gay men are like this. The main point is that LGBTQ isn't a giant kumbaya tent. Neither is "feminism" or women's rights.
    Last edited by allegro; 09-17-2020 at 09:56 PM.

  25. #6955
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
    @Sesquipedalism, I've only really heard about this sort of thing; not really overheard it or experienced it outside of a couple surprising moments.

    Would you say most people talking like this did so when they were drunk? Like, maybe this is the kind of "sloppy locker room talk" that happens in that environment?
    If anything, I'd say most of the people who spoke this way to or around me were dead sober. Or settling in to a first cocktail or beer. Men often assume I'm sexist because I'm a man; married men often try to relate to me over the bar (and sometimes just in general) by shitting on their wives because I wear a wedding ring; white people occasionally say outrageously racist things to me assuming I'll be down and we'll bond because I have full-sleeve tattoos and a shave the hair on my head that still grows.

    It's not all gay men. It's enough gay men to be worth commenting upon. @allegro is correct; even when it looks like a big tent from the outside, it's just because you can't see the acrobats talking about how the lion tamers smell like cat piss and should be kicked out.

    And for the record, since you mentioned the phrase, despite being biologically male all my life and having male friends and a blackout drinking habit for a couple of decades, you know what I've never done even once while in a locker room or drunk? I've never said women are disgusting horror shows for having vaginas or my wife is a cunt or Black people are all lazy or what the hell ever. I am so wildly opposed to the idea of "locker room talk" or drunk talk being a thing we can ever give a fucking pass to, that it's honestly hard to type this sentence on account of the ol' rage shakes. "Locker room talk" isn't a thing that's to be expected in certain environments. If you're shitty when you're in a place where you think no one you're mocking will hear you, it's not called "locker room talk," it's just called being a shitty person. Which should always be unacceptable anywhere.

  26. #6956
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    @allegro & @Sesquipedalism fuckin' PREACH

  27. #6957
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    So, high school football is a big deal in my neck of the gloom in the Texas panhandle. It's kind of the ONLY deal. Hundreds of people come from upwards of a hundred miles away, and, of course, half the hometown shows up, pretty much literally.

    So, we have this pandemic going on, and you'd THINK they'd like, delay the season. And if they weren't going to do that, maybe do masks and social distancing.

    But, oh, hell no. Not here.

    Last night for the opening game, there must have been a thousand fucking idiots out there, packed in like sardines, with NO masks. There were also two full high school bands, blowing their fucking horns in the air, cheerleaders doing pyramids and shit, the whole thing.

    The field is like, literally right behind our backyard. I HEARD all the people cheering, and was thinking, "dear GOD I hope they're doing this right.

    But, I went outside to take some trash out, and could actually SEE the motherfuckers. I couldn't believe it.

    What's sad is that, I THINK they feel like they're making some sort of political statement by doing this. This is rural Texas, after all: it's damn sure not the cool part.

    So, I guess that what REALLY infuriates me, is that if their Lord and Saviour, Donald Trump, would tell people to wear masks and socially distance and shit, these poor fucks wouldn't be out there.

    We've had covid cases, and there were a LOT, just a couple of little towns over: enough to make the national a couple months ago, and THOSE people come to the games here, too.

    So like, ten to one, SOMEONE in that crowd was sick, and infected God knows how many people.

  28. #6958
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sesquipedalism View Post
    And for the record, since you mentioned the phrase, despite being biologically male all my life and having male friends and a blackout drinking habit for a couple of decades, you know what I've never done even once while in a locker room or drunk?
    You've heard it though. I think "locker room talk" is an umbrella term for people saying things amongst people they perceive to be "allies" in some sort of bigotry. It's not exclusively reserved for locker rooms in some literal sense; it can cover drunk/drug talk, or racists looking for people who share their ideas... it's not a good term. It's not a positive thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jinsai View Post
    You've heard it though. I think "locker room talk" is an umbrella term for people saying things amongst people they perceive to be "allies" in some sort of bigotry. It's not exclusively reserved for locker rooms in some literal sense; it can cover drunk/drug talk, or racists looking for people who share their ideas... it's not a good term. It's not a positive thing.
    Yes, absolutely. I'm sorry if I was misleading; I understand what you and the world mean by the phrase, but I have no idea why "locker room talk" has ever been accepted by anyone anywhere as a thing that's okay. Nor why anyone would put it forward as an excuse for something being said. Along with "boys will be boys," the ethos of "locker room talk" has contributed to hand waving away so much human shittiness—and people let it work. N.B.: None of the following is directed toward you.

    I understand that men in this century and country have been socialized to be sexist, whether or not they want to admit it, can see it, or try to overcome it. I understand that someone's pissed in the pool, so to speak. After a lifetime of media saturation, both men and women have internalized that shit—that's how implicit biases work. But we don't have to pretend it's just the way it is, we don't have to be okay with it. We don't have to not fight back against it. And we certainly don't have to colloquialize it and make it seem like nothing more than a fart—just a gross thing that all dudes sometimes do. He said he likes to grab them by the pussy because they let him do it? Meh, it was just locker room talk.

    Locker rooms, in the idiom, are groups of men and as a society we're to the point where we expect groups of men to be sexist when they're alone because "that's just how they are." As if chauvinist shittiness is biologically determined by having a broken X chromosome or being born with a dick. Fuck that. It's the 21st century; we understand so much about history, biology, psychology, sociology, ethnology, anthropology to let that stand. Unless a person is willing to go on record and say that men being disgusted by/superior to women is humanity's natural state, is the right order of things, and therefore men are understandably prone to objectifying and mocking women, "locker room talk" is a thing that anyone should be ready to stand up to, saying, "I"m better than that" instead of "it was just locker room talk"—a thing which is essentially just "I thought I was among like-minded bigots."

    Let's defamiliarize the idiom a bit. What's the racial equivalent of "locker room talk"? "Klan rally chatter"? "Squad room gossip"? Does that sound like a thing we should be okay with as a society? Like something we should hand-wave away? The next time a police officer is on record dropping n-bombs, or suggesting that those born-criminal [insert whatever slur you'd like] probably decorate their Christmas trees with Grippo snacks and pigs' feet," I want to see Carlson or Trump or Limbaugh say, "It was just rally chatter, squad room gossip," and see how many people feel okay quickly dismissing it.

    "Locker room talk" is the bathroom graffiti of human conversation. And when people use the phrase, they generally mean something like "a change of venue or company would have made this understandable and you should be more careful next time." Fuck that. Regardless of my company, I don't have to be shitty just because I was socialized that way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sesquipedalism View Post
    Yes, absolutely. I'm sorry if I was misleading; I understand what you and the world mean by the phrase, but I have no idea why "locker room talk" has ever been accepted by anyone anywhere as a thing that's okay.
    The answer to this is simple: it's an appeal to other people who have engaged in that sort of talk. It's a dog whistle.

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