The little things that piss you off

[elevenism]

I'm well aware of how easy it is to say, and of how relentless that kind of thought can be, but really, try not to think about it, and when you do, try to think about something else. That's a bottomless pit of pain right there, and there will never be any answer to that, nothing to settle it, nothing to comfort you.
That kind of loss is already huge, there's really no need to scrutinize and try to picture every "detail". That shit is a fucking fractal of grief. There's just no end to it.
I know it sounds a lot like "move on", and on many regards it is. But that's really the only way to weather that kind of storm and not snap in half.

i have been doing this same thing, constantly imagining someone's last moments.
my dear, dear friend of 20 plus years who died some days ago-i knew she died from becoming septic, and hoped that she had died in her sleep, but have recently learned the grim truth, that her lungs filled with blood, drowning her, and she was fully conscious.
I am trying so hard to push it out of my head.

[implanted_microchip]

Seeing the words "elevenism has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space."
@elevenism you can fix this problem

[eversonpoe]

Seeing the words "elevenism has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space."
@elevenism you can fix this problem

@elevenism don't forget to clear out your sent messages, too. they take up lots of space.

[Ryan]

@elevenism cuddle me.

[Lew]

well, after reading this last page i feel like a complete twatstick bitching about this (and will still do it, anyway).
i cannot fry a fucking egg without breaking the yolk. it annoys the hell out of me. each time, things are looking hopeful...and then *flip* and then *running all over*.
wtf. i am not trying to build a deep sea diver and explore, ffs. i just want some fucking dipping yolk, by gods.
sheesh.

[Lew]

talso: dear drivers of this region, in this country...that handy little stick to the left of your steering wheel is called A FUCKING INDICATOR. it indicates which direction you are about to move your car in. now, sure, i am certain we should all be clairvoyant at this point..but since we aren't...use the fucking instrument that came with your car that tells me you are wanting to turn. holy flaming werewolves, batman.

[elevenism]

@elevenism cuddle me.

you fucking fuck @Ryan , you are my personal superhero of well timed sarcasm and such.
@eversonpoe and @kleiner352 , i (honestly) am often scared that i will lose some life changing bit of wisdom from one of you guys, or an important link, by deleting all my messages. i need to download them. (also i'm bored and insane and talk way too much)

[elevenism]

well, after reading this last page i feel like a complete twatstick bitching about this (and will still do it, anyway).
i cannot fry a fucking egg without breaking the yolk. it annoys the hell out of me. each time, things are looking hopeful...and then *flip* and then *running all over*.
wtf. i am not trying to build a deep sea diver and explore, ffs. i just want some fucking dipping yolk, by gods.
sheesh.

this is why i always feel bad about posting about death and dire sickness and shit in this thread. i don't know that it's what the thread was intended for and i feel like i'm turning it into a pissing contest or something, which is never, ever my intention.
That's why i made a thread about grief and death and whatnot, but not many people here seem to use it. perhaps they do not wish to discuss these things. but if someone does, the thread is there.

[Lew]

this is why i always feel bad about posting about death and dire sickness and shit in this thread. i don't know that it's what the thread was intended for and i feel like i'm turning it into a pissing contest or something, which is never, ever my intention.
That's why i made a thread about grief and death and whatnot, but not many people here seem to use it. perhaps they do not wish to discuss these things. but if someone does, the thread is there.

oh, i get you on this one...i almost didn't post my tiny whinys then decided that this thread is a catchall, anyway.
i also cannot stop thinking of you and sarah and Khrz.
perspective *is* a powerful thing, so while my tiny whiny egg yolk trauma still pisses me off...remembering that others have deeper traumas reminds me of the fact that i can also post my tiny whiny egg yolk trauma in outbursts of joy.
i geared way the fuck down, after posting, that is for sure.

honest to gods, sarah/elevenism/Khrz, in the portion of your hearts that are not in agony over your losses: does it make *you* more aware of the tiny little bits of magic and joy in being alive? sometimes? never? always? or does it highlight all that is painful in being alive and left with memories? also, if this is too raw or painful to discuss, please feel free to ignore this. xxxooo

[Sarah K]

I think it is good and bad. I got into an argument with a close friend/BDSM play partner last weekend, and we didn't speak all week. But I did a writing about this loss on another site(where I originally met the guy who died), and he came up and hugged me immediately on Saturday night, and made sure I was okay. Typically, I would have been mad at him for longer. I told him that I was upset with him and the way he treated me last week(he was mad about other things, and took it out on me), but that I had been reminded this week that life is short, and it isn't worth holding grudges over stupid shit. We talked about it, he apologized, we hugged it out, and then he and two other friends beat the shit out of me. Haha.

I also walked up to a group of friends at this same party and they were all looking at me and I was like WHAT IS HAPPENING?! They stated that they were talking about me and they loved that I always said exactly what was on my mind, because it generally leaves no room for miscommunication, and they will always know what I am feeling and when I'm feeling it. It's nice to have such great people in my life that rally around me when things are rough. It makes me appreciate the friends that I have made here so, so much. Like, having people to lean and depend on is powerful. I have a ton of great people in my life right now.

[elevenism]

i'm trying to write these fucking sympathy cards at this very moment.
for me, this amalgamation of dead friends in the past few years also causes me to ruminate on the brevity of life.
it cuts both ways. it's a strange dichotomy in that it reinforces the preciousness of the little time that we have, but it also causes me to entertain thoughts of futility.

it goddamn sure has made me be a lot nicer to people i love.
it's so crazy, i look at all the pictures of me and my "crew" when we were young and full of piss and whiskey, and literally half of us are dead. it makes it feel like those of us who are alive are in some kind of alternate dimension. like, you know, the future, and not everyone got here.

but also think about the fact that while my grief feels all consuming, it must be NOTHING compared to what the brothers and sisters and parents of these fuckers are going through. (hence the sympathy cards.) Oh, and also, with that comes the sheer terror that we are all going to find out just what it DOES feel like to lose immediate family members before we know it, those of us who haven't yet.

[Ryan]

It pisses me off when an episode of a show starts off with the conclusion then backtracks and shows what happened leading up to it.

[sick among the pure]

It pisses me off when an episode of a show starts off with the conclusion then backtracks and shows what happened leading up to it.

Don't watch How To Get Away With Murder then...

[tony.parente]

Babies.

They're fucking gross guys.

[Swykk]

They're not great but I think toddlers are worse because they never stop talking and really, they're hardly ever saying anything in the first place. They're also covered in germs consisting of food, booger and sometimes FAR WORSE substances.

I was pretty devastated when I found out I couldn't have children in 2003 but quickly, I found that was actually a blessing. I just do not have the patience.

[Khrz]

honest to gods, sarah/elevenism/Khrz, in the portion of your hearts that are not in agony over your losses: does it make *you* more aware of the tiny little bits of magic and joy in being alive?

I'm not going to write whole paragraphs about that, not only would I babble and ramble for pages, but now I have a shrink to discuss that
To sum it up, it certainly made things more precious. You become attuned, for a moment anyway, to the absolute fragility and precariousness of what is. As Sarah said, it's a gift and a curse. I, for one, have now very little patience for negativity. I used to find it boring, now it's abhorrent.
I really don't care about silly, useless bullshit. There's no time for that.

[Swykk]

I'm not going to write whole paragraphs about that, not only would I babble and ramble for pages, but now I have a shrink to discuss that
To sum it up, it certainly made things more precious. You become attuned, for a moment anyway, to the absolute fragility and precariousness of what is. As Sarah said, it's a gift and a curse. I, for one, have now very little patience for negativity. I used to find it boring, now it's abhorrent.
I really don't care about silly, useless bullshit. There's no time for that.

Partially due to a good friend of mine battling cancer for the last four years (and also due to me being just tired of feeling awful about life in general), I've been successfully stripping away the unnecessary negative elements from myself and my life but that said, there will always be strong integrity in me that will just not allow me to call awful things anything other than that. I can and do try to find the positive in certain things where I just wasn't doing that at all for most of my life...but other things are just bad and it would be disingenuous to claim otherwise.

I hope that makes sense.

[Khrz]

I hope that makes sense.

It does, but that wasn't what I meant at all, I'm sorry, that was probably ambiguous.
I was talking about this negative attitude consisting in complaining endlessly about non-issues (I'm not talking about egg yolk here, @Lew !). Shitty conflicts, petty gossip. Minor annoyances blown up to warrant a righteous outrage. That kind of things.

That's not a good thing, it means that my shields are down and that every hit hurts. The only silver lining is that I'm becoming quite good at phasing out that kind of stuff/people. I can't block, so I dodge.

[elevenism]

our plumbing went out.
my back is still UTTERLY fucked. my wife is still insanely weak from seizures. my mother is disabled.
My mother's bathroom, at least, is immaculate.
The second bathroom i would call insanely dirty.
And the bathroom in my room might possibly LITERALLY be condemned if it was a free standing structure.
Today we have to clean them because the plumber is coming in the morning

We did it to ourselves, i suppose, letting things get that filthy, but good GOD this sucks.

[Pillfred]

well, after reading this last page i feel like a complete twatstick bitching about this (and will still do it, anyway).
i cannot fry a fucking egg without breaking the yolk. it annoys the hell out of me. each time, things are looking hopeful...and then *flip* and then *running all over*.
wtf. i am not trying to build a deep sea diver and explore, ffs. i just want some fucking dipping yolk, by gods.
sheesh.

You try basting the egg, cover and steam it? It's essentially an over easy but without the flip and fried top.

[Jinsai]

our plumbing went out.
my back is still UTTERLY fucked. my wife is still insanely weak from seizures. my mother is disabled.
My mother's bathroom, at least, is immaculate.
The second bathroom i would call insanely dirty.
And the bathroom in my room might possibly LITERALLY be condemned if it was a free standing structure.
Today we have to clean them because the plumber is coming in the morning

We did it to ourselves, i suppose, letting things get that filthy, but good GOD this sucks.

You can probably hire a cleaner for a day right? I don't know how big the place is, but you can get a good apartment cleaning for 20 dollars. It sounds miserable, and I think it's worth the cost.

[Lew]

You try basting the egg, cover and steam it? It's essentially an over easy but without the flip and fried top.

i have done...and i can't seem to get the white firm enough this way. much gagging ensues. lol. one of my neighbours is bound and determined to teach me how to flip an egg. (same one taught me how to cut an onion, a la gordon ramsay).
thank you, though!!!

[Lew]

You can probably hire a cleaner for a day right? I don't know how big the place is, but you can get a good apartment cleaning for 20 dollars. It sounds miserable, and I think it's worth the cost.

apartment cleaning for 20 bucks???? can you send those cleaners to canada, please????

[Lew]

our plumbing went out.
my back is still UTTERLY fucked. my wife is still insanely weak from seizures. my mother is disabled.
My mother's bathroom, at least, is immaculate.
The second bathroom i would call insanely dirty.
And the bathroom in my room might possibly LITERALLY be condemned if it was a free standing structure.
Today we have to clean them because the plumber is coming in the morning

We did it to ourselves, i suppose, letting things get that filthy, but good GOD this sucks.

ah, there is nothing worse than having done it to ourselves, eh? fuckity fuck.
that sucks, with everything else, so i am sending you a virtual back hoe...xxxooo
hope you guys manage ok, sweetness.

[miss k bee]

Random back, neck and abdo pain all week.... nice, feeling permanently stressed does not help.

[Pillfred]

i have done...and i can't seem to get the white firm enough this way. much gagging ensues. lol. one of my neighbours is bound and determined to teach me how to flip an egg. (same one taught me how to cut an onion, a la gordon ramsay).
thank you, though!!!

Yeah best way would be to turn your heat down after you drop them and do it like a sunny side, once the whites are about done then hit it. Otherwise it just takes practice. When I was breakfast cooking I was orrery good at it spatula, it just in a pan. Even then they would stick or break. Eggs are real thing anybody ever tells me otherwise I have try and not slap them. Steaks are more expensive but fucking eggs are fragile little bastards.
Also a good non stick pan helps a bunch.

[Jinsai]

Insomnia. I think I've slept a grand total of three hours over the last 48, and I feel completely crazy right now.

[ImTheWiseJanitor]

Little old lady ran into my car a few weeks back and sent me into a flaming rage/panic attack for a day. Her insurance has been trying for WEEKS (five voicemails and three letters) to contact her, and she finally responded. Her reason for disappearing? "I don't open mail I don't recognize or phone messages from numbers I don't know, just delete them."

BULLSHIT. HOW DO YOU NOT RECOGNIZE A MARKED LETTER OR PHONE CALL FROM YOUR OWN FUCKING INSURANCE COMPANY? Hag.

Good news is, although I won't see a paycheck at my new job for a couple more weeks, I AM getting a pretty good chunk of change from her, so I can use that to mooch off of if need be. I hate to use it for anything other than repairs, but it's really just some minor body damage. Nothing that can't wait another month to have fixed!

[onthewall2983]

Movie trailers on YouTube that have 5-second teasers of the very thing you're about to watch before it shows.

[millionmilesaway]

i have done...and i can't seem to get the white firm enough this way. much gagging ensues. lol. one of my neighbours is bound and determined to teach me how to flip an egg. (same one taught me how to cut an onion, a la gordon ramsay).
thank you, though!!!

#1 start with FRESH eggs, the yolk membrane loses strength as it ages and average supermarket eggs in the US are 1-2 weeks old when they arrive at the store. If you want to get technical Aruacana eggs (blue shell) are bred to have a firmer yolk than standard eggs, they "stand" taller in the pan so that you can cook the white at a higher heat and still get the gooey goodness of the yolk.
#2 good quality nonstick, I use anodized aluminum or ceramic coated cast iron.
#3 don't be afraid to add some butter first and have the pan very hot to drop the egg onto, then turn down the heat and cook slowly. near end of cooking drop a small amount of water into the pan and cover to steam the topside if not flipping.

sorry I just really love eggs