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Down, but not out.
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Down, but not out.
Banned
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This man is my hero:
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Eminem: Mom's Spaghetti.
Top comment: "Never forghetti"
24.24.1.1397
Originally Posted by the duder
Captain Rustleboots
Three guys free a genie from a bottle, so he gives each of them three wishes.
"I want a million dollars."
So Guy #1 gets a million dollars.
"I want a BILLION dollars."
Guy #2 gets a billion dollars.
"Make my left arm spin clockwise."
So Guy #3's left arm starts spinning clockwise, forever.
Guy #1 wishes for a hot girlfriend, Guy #2 wishes for ten hot girlfriends, and Guy #3 wishes for his right arm to spin counter-clockwise, forever.
They're now on their last wishes, so Guy #1 wishes for a penthouse. Guy #2 wishes for a mansion on a private island... And Guy #3 wishes for his head to spin forever.
A few years later, the three guys meet again and Guy #1 is saying how he's the richest guy in the country, his girlfriend is great, and he loves his penthouse. Guy #2 says he's the richest guy in the world, his ten girlfriends are great, and his private island is fantastic. Guy #3 shows up and says, "Guys, I think I fucked up."
Throbbing Member
damnit, i was rooting for Guy#3
she/her/hers
wow, that is NOT where i was expecting it to go. i love simple humor like that.
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Throbbing Member
Did I mention I know Morse code? For example, ". . . - - - . . ." is "e e e E E E e e e". Working on remorse code now.
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FATUM NOS IUNGET
Well, I think we can wrap this thread up now.
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^^^
Not bad at all!
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FATUM NOS IUNGET
Throbbing Member
Tonight I woke up in the middle of the night thinking "Tamar got cheese".
That's worse than a pun - it's wordplay! (Manson taught me this.) But... Why do I make up wordplay in my sleep?
she/her/hers
i don't get it. at all. please explain.Tonight I woke up in the middle of the night thinking "Tamar got cheese".
That's worse than a pun - it's wordplay! (Manson taught me this.) But... Why do I make up wordplay in my sleep?
Throbbing Member
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamagotchi
I don't know about the US, but over here these things were hugely popular at the end of the 90s. Today still older people often remember the name and confuse them with Pokemon.
So I woke up at like 5am, mantra-like repeating this sentence in head, until I was fully awake. That's like my own version random stupidity...
she/her/hers
oh, i had several Tamagotchis, but when i read your wordplay, i pronounced the Tamar as "tay-mar" not "tah-mar" so it didn't make sense hahahttps://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamagotchi
I don't know about the US, but over here these things were hugely popular at the end of the 90s. Today still older people often remember the name and confuse them with Pokemon.
So I woke up at like 5am, mantra-like repeating this sentence in head, until I was fully awake. That's like my own version random stupidity...
Banned
I'd much rather Trump touching my vagina than Clinton touching my penis.
....feeling the rock-solid bulge of his "tower" against my thigh.... just kidding
Last edited by cashpiles (closed); 10-18-2016 at 10:10 AM.
Active Member
Norm Macdonald is a freaking genius:
http://teamcoco.com/video/norm-macdo...onvoluted-joke
I've listened this a few times already, and I keep laughing harder. His delivery is spot on.
xScott
Does anybody have that "COABOD" giant middle finger in ASCII that was posted in the old MM thread?
I want to use it for something....
Banned
OMG...
Last edited by cashpiles (closed); 10-23-2016 at 10:36 AM.
Banned
This guy found some loopholes in the Safeway self-checkout system:
https://redd.it/58pclt
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