Sexual Abuse/Assault in the News

[Harry Seaward]

I guess my point here is that I know for a fact that people will in fact be invited backstage at the request of someone in power, and for very specific reasons.

This seems to be the one detail in the story that literally nobody in the universe debated.

I wish I didn't believe this story, but I absolutely do. I also wish that she'd felt able to get away from the situation before it escalated, but I do not blame her at all for not being able to. 17 year old girl (young woman) vs 36 year old man with martial arts experience and fame on HIS turf? I absolutely don't blame her for being frozen. This is why I advocate self-defense classes. Maybe it would have helped here. Then again, maybe it wouldn't have. But on top of the #1 way to reduce rape (which is to pound it into mens' heads to NOT FUCKING RAPE PEOPLE), giving women the confidence and skill to fight back is an important thing to do. Again, to be absolutely, positively clear, the woman is never at fault and it's 100% up to guys to not rape in the first place, but unless they magically stop doing it, I encourage people to do what it takes to standing a fighting chance.

I really can't imagine Maynard set out to rape her judging on this story alone. He's a rock star who had sex with a different woman every night. He probably had sex with plenty of chicks who wanted to be doing it but also didn't really get too actively involved in the process.

How much blame can we place on a guy in that position for interpreting a 17 year old girl leaving her boyfriend behind to come meet you, coming onto your tour bus, and getting in your bed as consent? I'm not saying it was consent or that she's to blame for not saying no, but from his point of view there's very little more consent one can give outside of just saying 'let's have sex.' So it seems like a dramatic overreaction to equate this in any way to forcible, active rape - which you're doing by implying that had she said 'no' it still would have kept going to the point where she'd need to physically fight back.

[Halcyon]

How much blame can we place on a guy in that position for interpreting a 17 year old girl leaving her boyfriend behind to come meet you, coming onto your tour bus, and getting in your bed as consent? I'm not saying it was consent or that she's to blame for not saying no, but from his point of view there's very little more consent one can give outside of just saying 'let's have sex.' So it seems like a dramatic overreaction to equate this in any way to forcible, active rape - which you're doing by implying that had she said 'no' it still would have kept going to the point where she'd need to physically fight back.

Her boyfriend wasn’t allowed to come backstage. Just because she came backstage and wanted to hang out with her favorite singer doesn’t mean she was wanting to fuck. Jesus, do you hear yourself?

[Harry Seaward]

Her boyfriend wasn’t allowed to come backstage. Just because she came backstage and wanted to hang out with her favorite singer doesn’t mean she was wanting to fuck. Jesus, do you hear yourself?

Did you read the part where I explicitly said that those actions do not equate to consent?

[JessicaSarahS]

Her boyfriend wasn’t allowed to come backstage. Just because she came backstage and wanted to hang out with her favorite singer doesn’t mean she was wanting to fuck. Jesus, do you hear yourself?

This. Not everyone wants to go backstage to hook up. If a guy is given a pass, is he expected to put out, too?

[implanted_microchip]

there's very little more consent one can give outside of just saying 'let's have sex.'

That’s literally what getting consent is — actual agreement to an act. And the idea that a 36 year old man wouldn’t see the million things wrong about this situation (with a 17 year old no less) is so ridiculous. If you’re with a new potential partner you don’t just start doing things to that person without knowing in completely clear and vocal terms that it’s a mutual desire and to do anything less is gross and wrong and proof that the other person’s wants and interests are secondary to you.

This story is of someone luring a 17 year old fan into a private environment where that 17 year old had far less power than tbey did and using that imbalance to rape them. To act like it’s anything less is disgusting. The fact he says he can’t talk about things with her where other people are around is proof he knew what he was doing was wrong and that he needed to be isolated to get away with it.

There are tons of stories of him having sex with fans and it was out in the open and intent was clear. Why would he feel the need to hide his behavior in this case if he didn’t know it wasn’t alright? If you want to say you want to hear more before making up your mind that’s one thing but to view this as true and then still defend it is so wrong. If this is true, he raped a teenager. Rape doesn’t have to involve any more violence than the act itself consists of to count as rape. No one is comparing his behavior to the behavior of someone like BTK, but they are equating his behavior to what it is, which is rape.

[theimage13]

This seems to be the one detail in the story that literally nobody in the universe debated.



I really can't imagine Maynard set out to rape her judging on this story alone. He's a rock star who had sex with a different woman every night. He probably had sex with plenty of chicks who wanted to be doing it but also didn't really get too actively involved in the process.

How much blame can we place on a guy in that position for interpreting a 17 year old girl leaving her boyfriend behind to come meet you, coming onto your tour bus, and getting in your bed as consent? I'm not saying it was consent or that she's to blame for not saying no, but from his point of view there's very little more consent one can give outside of just saying 'let's have sex.' So it seems like a dramatic overreaction to equate this in any way to forcible, active rape - which you're doing by implying that had she said 'no' it still would have kept going to the point where she'd need to physically fight back.

Jesus fucking christ. I can't believe I even need to write this.

1) She did not "leave her boyfriend behind". She asked him to come with, and was given the ultimatum "you can meet one of your favorite bands alone or you can not meet them at all". What 17 year old would be like "nah fuck it whatever, I'll stay with this guy instead"?
2) Again, 17 year old girl gets invited by mega-famous artist to see his tour bus - something that all of her friends in high school (remember, this is a fucking HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT we're talking about) will love to hear about the next day. If Marilyn Manson or Trent Reznor or whoever asked you on his bus, would you say no as a 17 year old boy? No? Well then why the fuck should she say no? Oh, right...we're blaming the victim here by insinuating that "going on the bus, she should have known what was going to happen". Fuck off with that shit.
3) I'm 100% implying that he might have still gone had she been able to meekly put out some sort of "no", but the fact that she was basically frozen and silent and unsure of what to do tells me that she was no consenting, so why didn't it tell Maynard the same thing?
4) "He had sex with a different woman every night". So do lots of guys on Tinder. But those women CONSENT to it. By your own phrasing, maybe he forced himself on some reluctant high school kid every night. That's supposed to make me feel BETTER about this?

Wow. Your username is startlingly apt.

[Harry Seaward]

Are you guys going to just keep arguing with points I didn't make based on how you think I feel? Like I get it that you guys spend a lot of time repeating this shit to dumbasses. I understand the feeling of making a point 10,000,000 times because you keep encountering the same argument over and over and over to the point that you can just copy and paste your standard response. But don't fall into the trap of assuming a person's whole identity just because they're saying something that can be seen as vaguely in line with what aforementioned dumbasses say. Generally I choose my words pretty carefully so if I was defending Maynard or thought her consent was implied or thought that "it was almost 20 years ago and not even rape so who cares", I would just say it.

Otherwise can we have a discussion where we don't immediately assume the absolute worst of the other based on assuming we know how the other person feels despite it being a direct contradiction of what they're saying?

1) She did not "leave her boyfriend behind". She asked him to come with, and was given the ultimatum "you can meet one of your favorite bands alone or you can not meet them at all". What 17 year old would be like "nah fuck it whatever, I'll stay with this guy instead"?
2) Again, 17 year old girl gets invited by mega-famous artist to see his tour bus - something that all of her friends in high school (remember, this is a fucking HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT we're talking about) will love to hear about the next day. If Marilyn Manson or Trent Reznor or whoever asked you on his bus, would you say no as a 17 year old boy? No? Well then why the fuck should she say no? Oh, right...we're blaming the victim here by insinuating that "going on the bus, she should have known what was going to happen". Fuck off with that shit.

I didn't say "she should have known what was going to happen." I didn't say "she should have said no." I didn't say "I don't see the point in getting enthusiastic consent." I didn't say "it wasn't rape." I gave reasons for why it's entirely possible he didn't realize what he was doing.

Maybe the issue here is that you guys don't realize that some of us can think "he didn't realize it was rape" and "it was rape" are both true. Saying the first doesn't mean somebody thinks "it wasn't rape."

3) I'm 100% implying that he might have still gone had she been able to meekly put out some sort of "no", but the fact that she was basically frozen and silent and unsure of what to do tells me that she was no consenting, so why didn't it tell Maynard the same thing?

It probably should have.

4) "He had sex with a different woman every night". So do lots of guys on Tinder. But those women CONSENT to it. By your own phrasing, maybe he forced himself on some reluctant high school kid every night. That's supposed to make me feel BETTER about this?

Well the sentence you quoted was setting up the point being made in the sentence after it. ("He probably had sex with plenty of chicks who wanted to be doing it but also didn't really get too actively involved in the process.")

So I'm not really going to defend a point I wasn't making and don't agree with. The entirety of my point was that there are different levels of severity to something like a personal crime and they should be responded to differently. Calling your wife a 'bitch' in a heated argument in 30 years and beating the shit out of her for 30 years are both 'abuse' but I can't imagine anybody would respond to them the same way. Is it seriously that backwards to say that the severity of a crime should inform the response?

[cdm]

Maybe the issue here is that you guys don't realize that some of us can think "he didn't realize it was rape" and "it was rape" are both true. Saying the first doesn't mean somebody thinks "it wasn't rape."

This is some gross shit.

jfc. No wonder women stay quiet for fucking decades.

[playwithfire]

4) "He had sex with a different woman every night". So do lots of guys on Tinder. But those women CONSENT to it.

Do they?

And how has Anthony Kiedis survived the metoo movement?

I'm also surprised more shit hasn't come out about him, I think there's maybe some whispered stuff about them and there was this https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...b0d4d3f723ca21

[Helpmeiaminhell (is now in hell)]

Do they?



I'm also surprised more shit hasn't come out about him, I think there's maybe some whispered stuff about them and there was this https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...b0d4d3f723ca21

Yeah I remember that story....They also got sued one time back in the day for sexual harassment at some MTV spring break thing as well.....The clock is ticking Anthony.....

[JessicaSarahS]

4) "He had sex with a different woman every night". So do lots of guys on Tinder. But those women CONSENT to it.

Eh, Tinder date rape is still a thing, unfortunately. Same ol’ game, different packaging. I would even venture to say that there’s even more pressure with Tinder to perform outright and bypass any semblance of dating or discourse— or receive unsolicited dick pix aplenty.