The Fucking Thread

[dominik]

I still need a lot of practise.

we should find a "practise your blowjob skills" buddy!

[Fixer808]

Woah, my van was a'rockin' last night. Felt like a teenager!

[sublimaze]

I still need a lot of practise.

I'm pathetically out of practice.

[jehuty]

I still need a lot of practise.

I'm pathetically out of practice.

I'm going to let someone practize on me this weekend.

[Fixer808]

Thursday can't get here fast enough.

[slave2thewage]

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

[jehuty]

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

That is simply beautiful.

[Aaron]

My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

James Joyce: perhaps the greatest writer of love letters the world has ever, and will ever, see. I performed a few of his letters as a monologue once in high school. I didn't walk at graduation.

[Fixer808]

Karaoke last night, then home for a vigorous session. That's how you end a weekend!

[Dra508]

Karaoke last night, then home for a vigorous session. That's how you end a weekend!

Yeah, but what did you sing?

[Aaron]

Doggy-style with my current fuck buddy is a fucking (ha-ha) revelation. Seriously. It's the answer to all of life's problems.

[Fixer808]

Yeah, but what did you sing?

Depeche Mode - Everything Counts
Muse - Starlight
NIN - Every Day is Exactly The Same
Modest Mouse - Float On
Iron Maiden - Run To The Hills

BAM.

[Fixer808]

Double post because fucking. With the back seats out of my van, it's actually pretty comfy back there! Feel like it needs some shag carpet and a disco ball, though... It's certainly going to need a carpet shampoo if this keeps happening!

Also, Dethklok is surprisingly good to bang to.

[icklekitty]

Phone sex is way underrated.

[Lunatica]

Doggy-style with my current fuck buddy is a fucking (ha-ha) revelation. Seriously. It's the answer to all of life's problems.

I was looking for this thread to say something about doggy style too, and how I want it nao.

[anita]

Sometimes I miss sex, but I really don't like people so that creates quite a conundrum. So I just masturbate a lot.

[aurelius]

Can anyone recommend an online store where I can buy single non-latex condoms? I'm hoping to buy an assortment and see what works. I have a sensitivity to latex, and my boyfriend is dealing with sensitivity/numbness related to MS.

[Aaron]

Webcam-masturbating over skype is a surprisingly hot and satisfying way to deal with distance.

[botley]

Webcam-masturbating over skype is a surprisingly hot and satisfying way to deal with distance.

I hoped we'd be able to get that going when I was in my last relationship but I never pushed for it. Wish I had, but it was difficult enough just being able to talk normally on the phone about what was going on.

Or maybe I just want to jerk off in peace.

[konstantin]

Can anyone recommend an online store where I can buy single non-latex condoms? I'm hoping to buy an assortment and see what works. I have a sensitivity to latex, and my boyfriend is dealing with sensitivity/numbness related to MS.

www.amazon.com they have a surprising arsenal of sex related goodies and your search/purchasing history will not affect the recommendations on your home page.

[dominik]

just saw this on reddit and i thought it'd be interesting to hear you guys opinion on this.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co..._please_leave/

[icklekitty]

My nipples and my bum hurt so much today. Fucking subspace.

[Beef of the Sea]

Dear ETS, I had butt sex last night and thought you should know.

[Fixer808]

You went with the paper bag option, or was it someone else?

[halloween]

Dear ETS, I had butt sex last night and thought you should know.

I think what we should know is if it was good/bad/gross/awesome! You know, so then people can reply and be like "no! it's not good/bad/gross/awesome, it's bad/good/awesome/gross!!"

[Beef of the Sea]

I think what we should know is if it was good/bad/gross/awesome! You know, so then people can reply and be like "no! it's not good/bad/gross/awesome, it's bad/good/awesome/gross!!"

Well it was awkward, and a little bit painful, but I guess you get that on your first encounter. I think all up it was good, but am still undecided.

You went with the paper bag option, or was it someone else?

Hah, someone else thankfully.

[Fixer808]

I think what we should know is if it was good/bad/gross/awesome!

Isn't it usually all of the above, if done correctly?

[icklekitty]

Dear ETS, I had butt sex last night and thought you should know.

I wondered how long it would be before you fucked a guy.

[Beef of the Sea]

I wondered how long it would be before you fucked a guy.

About the duration of a shitty long distance relationship apparently.

[ibanez33]

Isn't it usually all of the above, if done correctly?

In my experience, it was bad, then good, then awesome, then gross, then in the shower.