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Thread: The Relationship Thread

  1. #2731
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    We don't... talk on the phone. I don't have many people in my life who do that. I guess I'll listen to the new Kendrick Lamar and then come up with an email. Oh, this digital age. <3

  2. #2732
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    i'm of the school of thought that if you blab and text on the phone, you don't have boo to talk about when you see each other. you correspond on the phone for a meeting place and time, then have great conversation when you see them in front of you. it keeps things fresh and ALIVE.

    i'm glad to see others still think this way. i'm a freak among my peers because i don't own a CP.

  3. #2733
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Baphomette View Post
    As I've never owned a cell phone, I'm clueless about texting etiquette so I don't know if this suggestion is a good or bad one. Why don't you just call her?
    good god, you're still one of those?! But yes, why not just call?! It's true that most of us won't unanswer a 25% of calls... and although, the phone call won't be answered and will be redirected to voice mail... voice mail that is ignored... over a text... and if you get ignored via text... there's no question... any questions?

  4. #2734
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    Quote Originally Posted by bwary View Post
    good god, you're still one of those?! But yes, why not just call?! It's true that most of us won't unanswer a 25% of calls... and although, the phone call won't be answered and will be redirected to voice mail... voice mail that is ignored... over a text... and if you get ignored via text... there's no question... any questions?
    this isn't the "be a dick" thread.

    some people don't want to own cell phones. yeah, it's odd, but it's not THAT big of a deal.

  5. #2735
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    Quote Originally Posted by playwithfire View Post
    I'm thinking maybe an email with some music she might like and then "Hey, would you want to chill sometime in the next couple of weeks? Either in a date-y context or just as friends. I think you're really cool, but don't want to keep messaging if you'd rather not chat, so I'll leave it here. "

    Thoughts? Being a person is hard.
    Shorten your response to just this: "Hey, would you want to chill sometime in the next couple of weeks? I think you're really cool."

    That makes your intentions clear. And it doesn't use waffle-y, self-sabotaging, fake-polite filler.

  6. #2736
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    Quote Originally Posted by bwary View Post
    good god, you're still one of those?
    Yup. Have never felt the urge to get one nor needed to and can communicate perfectly well without one.

    Quote Originally Posted by bwary View Post
    most of us won't unanswer a 25% of calls
    How do you unanswer a call?

  7. #2737
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timinator View Post
    Shorten your response to just this: "Hey, would you want to chill sometime in the next couple of weeks? I think you're really cool."

    That makes your intentions clear. And it doesn't use waffle-y, self-sabotaging, fake-polite filler.
    Sadly, that does NOT make your intentions clear. "Chill" is very often used as slang for sex, so the person you're messaging may not know whether you're just asking to get together and chat, or if you're looking for some action.

  8. #2738
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Baphomette View Post
    How do you unanswer a call?[/COLOR]
    There's a lot of time travel involved

  9. #2739
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    I'm more comfortable with texting. Outside of work where I'm pretty much always on the phone, I only really talk with my parents.

  10. #2740
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    Well, another development. So I was talking (texting) to my friend today about the whole horror marathon, suggesting movies and such. I suggested the weekend after next because she's going out of town next Wednesday, but she asked if I was available sooner. Seems like she really wants to spend time with me.

  11. #2741
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    Quote Originally Posted by theimage13 View Post
    Sadly, that does NOT make your intentions clear. "Chill" is very often used as slang for sex, so the person you're messaging may not know whether you're just asking to get together and chat, or if you're looking for some action.
    Sorry, I misspoke. I meant to say, "That's the message you want to get across," which I agree has ambiguity to it. You shouldn't just put everything out there, especially in a text. It allows some mystery and negotiation in the following communications. I only meant to focus on the fact that she shouldn't undermine herself with backpedaling.

  12. #2742
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    I did the music email thing and I did leave in the qualifiers. I think that was good advice, but I'm not afraid of undermining myself in that situation, as I would be genuinely interested in just being friends with her and wouldn't want to lose out on that by seeming to be focused on dating stuff. We'll see!

    All that moderate amount of effort I was putting in to the ~world of online dating~ earlier this year seems to have fizzled out. Between a stupid ridiculous unattainable crush I have on someone, hooking up with my ex on very rare occasion (not a big deal), hooking up with a friend and colleague on very rare occasion (not a big deal), and things developing very slowly with a ladyfriend of that friend (she's delightful and I think things will be awesome) stuff is both... not dead but kind of dead. Meh. *shrugs* March is for some downtime.

  13. #2743
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    Quote Originally Posted by kleiner352 View Post
    There's a lot of time travel involved
    Best response!

  14. #2744
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    Here, Relationship Problems overview by The Oatmeal.
    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/problems

  15. #2745
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    I really, really don't know how to handle it when the people I'm dating start getting all clingy and want to be in contact like constantly. I NEED TIME AWAY FROM YOU IF YOU WANT ME TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU.

  16. #2746
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah K View Post
    I really, really don't know how to handle it when the people I'm dating start getting all clingy and want to be in contact like constantly. I NEED TIME AWAY FROM YOU IF YOU WANT ME TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU.
    hahaha we could never date. i hate being by myself (as an only child, i've spent enough time alone, thank you) and when i like someone, i just want to be around them. when my wife and i first started dating she was definitely in the "i need some time to myself" camp and we actually got in a huge fight about it (probably our biggest fight ever) after only dating for about a month. eventually we worked it out and these days she ALWAYS wants to be around me haha.

  17. #2747
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah K View Post
    I really, really don't know how to handle it when the people I'm dating start getting all clingy and want to be in contact like constantly. I NEED TIME AWAY FROM YOU IF YOU WANT ME TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU.
    if you think people you date are bad, you should try having a kid

  18. #2748
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    I mean I'm not talking about like weeks of no contact. Just like... a day or two Haha. I feel smothered easily. And I'm a definite "nope" on the children front! I need quiet time.

  19. #2749
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    I'm with you on this. My ex and I used to see each other in a solid 1:1 way once a week and I was totally fine with that. I like communication and affection and that stuff matters to me a lot, but I find too much attention/time with a partner stifling at a certain point.

  20. #2750
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    Welp, I royally fucked up and now I fear I may have lost one of the best friends I've ever known.

  21. #2751
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    What happened?

  22. #2752
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bachy View Post
    Welp, I royally fucked up and now I fear I may have lost one of the best friends I've ever known.
    if they can't forgive you, they weren't your best friend.
    if you did something unforgivable, you weren't theirs.
    stop being so hyperbolic.

  23. #2753
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    Maybe I overreacted. We talked. All is gravy.

  24. #2754
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    For about a month and a half I've been seeing this woman from Japan who's living here in Vancouver to improve her English and travel. Well, slowly over this time I've been progressing physically. On Thursday I finally grabbing her butt. All good but then Saturday I try to make plans with her to go to my friend's dinner. She said yes, but then my friend cancelled. I asked her if she still wanted to meet and she said no. She only wanted to meet if other people would be there because she wants to meet new people. I feel upset and I won't message her until she messages me. And after that I will lay back... I want to date around anyways and I need to increase the size of my circle of friends. The only thing is that I'm really falling for her.

  25. #2755
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    When you meet someone really cool and you have a lot in common and then while getting an impromptu shoulder rub they mention how nice your shoulders are to massage compared to their bony girlfriend back home... dammit

  26. #2756
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    You could say that was a... Mixed massage !


    I'll see myself out.

  27. #2757
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khrz View Post
    You could say that was a... Mixed massage !


    I'll see myself out.
    lol, yeah not sure where he was going with that one

  28. #2758
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    This October I will have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years. We are waiting on a call back to move into a place. We are both really excited to live together. I can't wait for that day. We've both had a rough life and I'm glad we can support each other emotionally and Spiritually as well.

  29. #2759
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    Quote Originally Posted by millionmilesaway View Post
    lol, yeah not sure where he was going with that one
    he was demeaning his "gf back home" to groom you. or he's unhappy with her and "exploring his options"
    either way he's immature and his dick is slimy. you don't have time for such, i say.

  30. #2760
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khrz View Post
    You could say that was a... Mixed massage !


    I'll see myself out.
    You win this thread.

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