The Fucking Thread

[allegro]

FINE I'M CHARGING MY VIBRATOR.

Because I need to do that.

You need to go all Bob Dylan at the Newport Folk Festival and plug in with Mr. Hitachi. Or just at least go with Señor Wahl.

[Sarah K]

The beautiful thing about the Hitachi is that it is so fucking simple. There is nothing beautiful or sexy about it. All function.

[Charmingly Miserable]

It's been 12 days but I swear, it feels like 12 years. Grrrrrr.....

[playwithfire]

The Acuvibe is just fine in terms of the intensity. Like, I usually use it through underwear. It's GREAT.

I just don't like having to remember to charge things/shitty battery lives.

[playwithfire]

OH MY GOD I WANT TO TRY THIS

[Sarah K]

Wow... has anyone ever actually used a Sybian?

[Sarah K]

oh my god i want to try this

$200 sadface

[orestes]

OH MY GOD I WANT TO TRY THIS

Hoooooly shit.

[Sarah K]

(I'll probably still buy one soon if other reviews are as good)

[playwithfire]

Yeah, too pricey for me, alas. Maybe one day!

On the bright side, I DID just buy a Hitachi. Now to wait a week.

[Sarah K]

YOU WON'T BE SORRY

Did you get the attachments? I usually don't even use them. Too messy.

[Kyle]

Great. Like us men need another toy to compete against.

[orestes]

$200 sadface

Fifty dollars off until the 27th.

[allegro]

Now, a showerhead...that had me wanting to jump right in.

I couldn't live without a showerhead. Ever. They're the BEST.

[Kyle]

(For those who facepalmed me the post was said with tongue firmly in cheek)

[orestes]

Lick my figs.

[Sarah K]

Well, the competition is CLEARLY OVER. Sex toys win. Thread over. This is now the Sex Toy Thread.

BYE, FELICIA.

[Kyle]

Back in the days before caller ID, me and a couple friends were making prank calls because that was still a thing. My friend called up Kay-Bee Toys and asked if they had any sex toys. The guy that answered said "well, we have this lollipop that spins when you push a button."

[playwithfire]

UM GUYS



Uh, this is kinda nsfw.

Why does she sound like an angry cougar when she sucks the dildo?

[Fixer808]

UM GUYS



Uh, this is kinda nsfw.

Why does she sound like an angry cougar when she sucks the dildo?

HAHAHAHAHA!!! That is probably the most apt description! I don't know whether I'd be terrified or laughing while it happened... And grape-fruiting? REALLY?

[playwithfire]

Well, I have seen that cat video before, so I obviously know my shit.

[Sarah K]

UM GUYS



Uh, this is kinda nsfw.

Why does she sound like an angry cougar when she sucks the dildo?

Hooooooly shit! I haven't laughed that hard in a while!

Also, she touched on it... but yeah, wouldn't that burn?

[Fixer808]

The cougar squeaks are absolutely adorable...

[ophelia_]

Wow... has anyone ever actually used a Sybian?

Yes! A few times, although it's always been with other people watching so I don't feel like I'd enjoy it as much as I would if I were alone.

Highlight of my sybian life was definitely my birthday last year. Had a party on the rooftop, asked my friend to bring his sybian, my Dom at the time made me get on it and then everyone sang happy birthday to me as I came.

[Fixer808]

Aaaaah sexting... good clean fun.

[Charmingly Miserable]

UM GUYS



Uh, this is kinda nsfw.

Why does she sound like an angry cougar when she sucks the dildo?

For a second there, I thought that lady was Sherri Shepard. I'm definitely gonna go to bed laughing from this one. Theoretically, can you try this with almost any soft flesh round edible? I want to see the tutorial using a croissant.

[Dra508]

This thread is all sorts of win except no one is actually talking about their fucking.

I think I'm going to go watch that grapefruit video again.

[icklekitty]

Someone needs to actually fuck NYRexall with the rest of us watching so we can test all this shit he's spouting.

Not it.

[The_Prowler]

I need laid. Like... badly. Seriously, I just want to be touched by someone that's not me.

BUT I'm going on a date tomorrow, so we'll see where things go (not that I'm going to rail her in the car after lunch, I don't do things like that unless we're in an already established relationship. I don't pick up women and I don't fuck on the first date.). I'm just hoping that she enjoys my physical company as much as she's enjoyed talking on the phone so far. Wish me luck!

[implanted_microchip]

After 3 years of constant regular and awesome sex going 8 days without anything and knowing it's gonna be a lot fucking longer is so terrifying despite how shallow that may be. Like, holy christ I didn't realize how much I enjoyed what had grown to seem so normal.