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owinn
04-24-2012, 12:30 PM
So I spent what would be classed as a working day watching whatever horror movies LoveFilm had on offer on their streaming service and sat through The Invasion and The Reaping hoping that the movies that collectively starred Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Hilary Swank and Idris Elba would draw on their raw talent. In NIN terms, considering this is a NIN forum and I quantify everything in NIN terms, If this was music and the actors were NIN mic stands they would all be thrown the fuck at Jerome Dillon causing thousands of dollars in medical bills, all he wants to do is drum but these guys keep fucking it up. Or is it the other way around? Anyway, I'm losing the point and what I'm getting at is that there is a 'shitty music' thread, but no shitty Movie thread. Madness!!!

So what movies are so bad they are bad, and what are so bad they're actually fucking brilliant.

Here's a clip of some real bad movie to get us started:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsvtyU5Qtc4

ImTheWiseJanitor
04-24-2012, 12:53 PM
Anything Tyler Perry has to offer is so bad that it's bad.

Absolutely no exceptions. Not even a little.

october_midnight
04-24-2012, 12:54 PM
Hackers and Tank Girl. I could watch those two movies endlessly. I fully acknowledge they belong in this thread though lol.

owinn
04-24-2012, 01:01 PM
Hackers and Tank Girl. I could watch those two movies endlessly. I fully acknowledge they belong in this thread though lol.

There's nothing anyone can do but high five this. They still havent made a WipEout game that good looking yet.

october_midnight
04-24-2012, 01:24 PM
There's nothing anyone can do but high five this. They still havent made a WipEout game that good looking yet.

Haha. Fucking. Yes. I watched that movie so many damn times I could quote you the thing. "Looks like I'm on top."

Oh, and Angeline Jolie with short hair is the hottest look she's ever had in my opinion. Sheesh.

thevoid99
04-24-2012, 02:13 PM
Hackers is awesome! I liked that film. I totally had a thing for Angie back then.

Yet, since this is a thread about shit films. I'll make some points.

Anything Michael Bay has done from Armageddon to whatever he has next is pretty much crap with Pearl Harbor being the worst of them of all.

Anything Rob Reiner has done since North, with the exception of The American President, is guaranteed crap.

Don't get me started on those Friedberg/Seltzer parodies which I think are so awful, they're not qualified enough to remotely be called bad movies due to the money they're given and the lack of effort they put into their junk.

fillow
04-24-2012, 04:09 PM
Aliens vs Predator: Requiem

/thread

NIN64
04-24-2012, 04:27 PM
Uwe Boll. . . . .

butters
04-24-2012, 04:49 PM
This thread could get ugly. :) Not because the movies listed will suck (they probably will) but because we all know that we harbor a soft-spot for a shitty movie or two deep down inside!

The movies "so bad they're just bad" are usually ones that set out to be great and fail (Michael Bay.) Those who know they're going to suck but have fun with it usually turn into awesome (Tank Girl.) Then there's the ones like the latter that try too hard and fail again (Uwe Boll.)

owinn
04-24-2012, 04:58 PM
This thread could get ugly. :) Not because the movies listed will suck (they probably will) but because we all know that we harbor a soft-spot for a shitty movie or two deep down inside!

The movies "so bad they're just bad" are usually ones that set out to be great and fail (Michael Bay.) Those who know they're going to suck but have fun with it usually turn into awesome (Tank Girl.) Then there's the ones like the latter that try too hard and fail again (Uwe Boll.)


Or I could ask a question such as... is Alien 3 really that bad? I say... nnnnnyeeeeeno

Corvus T. Cosmonaut
04-24-2012, 06:19 PM
Everything Tim Burton has done since Beetlejuice, with the possible exception of Ed Wood.

theruiner
04-24-2012, 06:23 PM
The one you call Corvus is right.

Also: Crash (the Haggis movie) is one of the biggest piles of crap I've ever watched. Why that movie got all the praise it did is beyond me.

OH. Oh, that reminds me. I am sick and tired of hearing about how amazing Gran Torino was. Honestly one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. Absolutely bloody awful. Same with Mystic River. I'm pretty much never going to watch another Eastwood movie as long as I live (any of his newer ones, anyway).

Corvus T. Cosmonaut
04-24-2012, 06:55 PM
Oh god, Crash. It was one of the most repugnant Oscar victories in recent memory, like all those PC tolerance PSAs (the sort of stuff you see on Everything is Terrible these days) from the 1980s ran through a late-90s soap opera & misty-lensed indie film and then showed up in the middle of the past decade to sell blow jobs and Concern Meth to the old white narcoleptics that comprise Academy voters, and I admit I'm kind of personally annoyed that I now have to explain myself when talking to people about how much I like the Cronenberg movie of the same title.

"No, NOT the one with Sandra Bullock. Yes, there IS another movie called 'Crash'. No, you probably wouldn't like it."

october_midnight
04-24-2012, 07:31 PM
I've managed to sit through Crash all the way through once. It was also the first time watching it after a friend recommended it. It was pretty late at night and it was so bad...so very, very bad that about 40 min. in I was like 'Well fuck it, I have to watch it all now, just to see if it's this bad right to the credits.' I'm referring to the Haggis turd, by the way. The other Crash (newer Oscar winner one) was no gem either.

Yup.

henryeatscereal
04-24-2012, 10:04 PM
Watched this baby last weekend...

http://turntabling.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/the-exorcist-2.jpg

'nuff said...


*vomits*

onthewall2983
04-24-2012, 10:06 PM
I've managed to sit through Crash all the way through once. It was also the first time watching it after a friend recommended it. It was pretty late at night and it was so bad...so very, very bad that about 40 min. in I was like 'Well fuck it, I have to watch it all now, just to see if it's this bad right to the credits.' I'm referring to the Haggis turd, by the way. The other Crash (newer Oscar winner one) was no gem either.

Yup.

There's a third one?

Corvus T. Cosmonaut
04-24-2012, 10:45 PM
I think october_midnight was trying to do a thing. Like, "You thought I was talking about the Haggis Crash at first but I was really talking about the Cronenberg version!" Haggis's film and the Oscar-winning Crash are one in the same.

Also needed on this bad film list? Your Highness, the astoundingly unfunny comedy starring Danny McBride and James Franco and Natalie Portman. There was not one moment of that movie that was not agony.

october_midnight
04-24-2012, 10:47 PM
Yeah that's me running on no sleep. I was first referring to the Cronenberg version, which was beyond awful. Then mentioned the Haggis version, which was pretty bad as well. As much as some may wanna over-analyze it, or feel that I was 'trying to do a thing'...sadly, it was just a mix up. Who would've thought?!

Alpha 60
04-24-2012, 11:08 PM
Everything Tim Burton has done since Beetlejuice, with the possible exception of Ed Wood.

You don’t like Batman or Scissor Hands?
I will throw in Rivers Edge which is bad in a good way just because of Glover.
Also Lynch’s Dune. It is actually one of my favorite movies, but I know everyone else thinks it sucks.

thevoid99
04-25-2012, 12:19 AM
For me, Tim Burton started to lose his way with Mars Attack! Since then, he would have his moments like Big Fish but a lot of it seemed to lack the uniqueness of his early films like actually building sets and creating miniatures. Someone needs to get the computer away from him. His worst film is easily Planet of the Apes.

aggroculture
04-25-2012, 01:13 AM
Shitty movies? Where to start. Most of them are bad, for me.
I would say movies that bore the pants off me and make me feel nothing: Crash (Cronenberg), for example. Recently I've hated Melancholia, Antichrist, Shame. Movies where you're waiting for something, anything to happen and it just doesn't come. Contagion was pretty lame and boring.
Cabin in the Woods didn't make me feel a single thing. Except a mild annoyance.
Asian horror movies that are too fucked up/brutal: I Saw The Devil.
Hyped-up movies that don't deliver (a la JJ Abrams): Cloverfield, Super 8.
Sequels of Saw.
Tarsem Singh's Mirror Mirror.
I really hated A Scanner Darkly.
Burn After Reading.
I also hated There Will Be Blood. Too dark for me (sorry I am a pussy).
The Dilemma, with Kevin James. I imagine anything with Kevin James.
Captain America.
Cheap sci-fi movies. Splice.
The first 20 minutes of In Time.
Batman Begins and The Dark Knight *dodges tomatoes and insults*

This is a hard topic because most of the movies I hated I tended to forget.

Jinsai
04-25-2012, 02:15 AM
I also hated There Will Be Blood. Too dark for me (sorry I am a pussy).

But even if it's not your thing, can't you acknowledge that it's a damn good movie?

and really, how could anyone hate on The Dark Knight? I can see calling it overrated (it is), but to say that it's crap? Come on.

Regarding Tim Burton, yeah, he's put out a lot of bullshit lately, but everything since Beetlejuice? No way. I'd say that Ed Wood is actually far and away the best thing he's ever done. Edward Scissorhands and both Batman movies were fantastic. And what about Corpse Bride? Even Mars Attacks was a fun campy movie. Yeah, that Alice in Wonderland movie was an abomination, and hated Big Fish with a passion, but in the middle of all that crap he made Sweeny Todd, which wasn't great but it had its moments.

The biggest disappointment for me when it comes to Tim Burton though is Sleepy Hollow. It's not his worst movie by a long shot, but it was such a let down. I heard that Tim Burton was directing a Sleepy Hollow movie, with a screenplay by the guy who wrote Seven, and starring Christopher Walken as the headless horseman? How could that be anything but a classic?

Oh well, it didn't suck, but it could have effortlessly been awesome. It wasn't even close to awesome though. I was so bummed.

Corvus T. Cosmonaut
04-25-2012, 03:55 AM
I've seen a lot of good, strong criticism of Dark Knight, but none of those critics said they hate the movie, just that Christopher Nolan is very overrated and sometimes borderline incompetent as a director. But of course it's entirely possible, Dark Knight-hate, the same way it's possible for someone to hate Terrence Malick or Annie Hall or Casablanca or, well, anything. We should be wary of establishing sacred cows: to someone else maybe they're just meat, and maybe they have their own pretty good reasons for feeling this way.

As far as Tim Burton goes, I'd say: yeah, everything since Beetlejuice. Ed Wood was good but I don't understand the constant and often uncritical fawning over the thing, and I think the thing forms a better picture of Burton as a filmmaker than has ever been the case. I like some of Nightmare Before Christmas but the kudos for that one belong, I think, to Henry Selick. It was for me entirely unexpected to see Corpse Bride only to find it insufferably terrible, among the worst movies I saw in 2005, Tim Burton at that point almost literally riding his own coattails—Selick was not involved in that production, I didn't know going in.

Triggermine
04-25-2012, 05:57 AM
Shitty movies? Where to start. Most of them are bad, for me.
I would say movies that bore the pants off me and make me feel nothing: Crash (Cronenberg), for example. Recently I've hated Melancholia, Antichrist, Shame. Movies where you're waiting for something, anything to happen and it just doesn't come. Contagion was pretty lame and boring.
Cabin in the Woods didn't make me feel a single thing. Except a mild annoyance.
Asian horror movies that are too fucked up/brutal: I Saw The Devil.
Hyped-up movies that don't deliver (a la JJ Abrams): Cloverfield, Super 8.
Sequels of Saw.
Tarsem Singh's Mirror Mirror.
I really hated A Scanner Darkly.
Burn After Reading.
I also hated There Will Be Blood. Too dark for me (sorry I am a pussy).
The Dilemma, with Kevin James. I imagine anything with Kevin James.
Captain America.
Cheap sci-fi movies. Splice.
The first 20 minutes of In Time.
Batman Begins and The Dark Knight *dodges tomatoes and insults*

This is a hard topic because most of the movies I hated I tended to forget.

You hate a lot of awesome movies. No bueno.

Edit: Bolded key items in quote for elaboration. Also- some things were left unbolded are because I, either, agree or have not seen them.

kdrcraig
04-25-2012, 07:08 AM
But even if it's not your thing, can't you acknowledge that it's a damn good movie?

I wouldn't, I genuinely hated There Will Be Blood. This is actually the first time I've witnessed another person saying they hated it.

I agree with everyone about Crash(the Sandra Bullock one), I watched that after it was all hyped up and had no idea why people thought it was so good.

Jinsai
04-25-2012, 07:10 AM
I wouldn't, I genuinely hated There Will Be Blood. This is actually the first time I've witnessed another person saying they hated it.

I agree with everyone about Crash(the Sandra Bullock one), I watched that after it was all hyped up and had no idea why people thought it was so good.


I agree with you about Crash (though I disagree with people about the JG Ballard movie by Cronenberg, which I thought was pretty great), what sucked about There Will Be Blood?

kdrcraig
04-25-2012, 07:16 AM
I agree with you about Crash (though I disagree with people about the JG Ballard movie by Cronenberg, which I thought was pretty great), what sucked about There Will Be Blood?

It was almost 3 hours of a greedy asshole doing greedy things, I got it in the first half hour and then it just went on and on. I love Daniel Day Lewis, and he was fantastic in that movie, but the movie as a whole didn't do anything for me. I just didn't care about anything that was happening, I understand that it was a movie about greed and what people will do for money or whatever but I just didn't like it, fuck it.

henryeatscereal
04-25-2012, 10:13 AM
Batman Begins and The Dark Knight *dodges tomatoes and insults*

(!)

I dont agree, but i respect your opinion, just like to know your reasons for hating it

aggroculture
04-25-2012, 10:50 AM
There Will Be Blood: it was well-made and well-shot, and well-acted. I just found the story and the message too bleak: watching it made me feel miserable and uncomfortable. Maybe that was the intention, but I did not enjoy the experience one bit. I found the ending horribly and unnecessarily violent. He'd already screwed that poor guy, there was no reason to kill him too. Maybe it did not also help that when I saw it at the theater, the third Mars Volta dude was sitting right in front of me. I can see why people enjoy this, though, unlike:

Batman Begins: Batman Begins is one of the most boring films I have ever seen. The acting, the whole thing is pretentious and takes its self way too seriously. Batman has nothing to do with ninjas in Tibet in the snow, sorry. The cheesy, sentimental music was also way too loud. I saw this movie in a very uncomfortable setting with my ex's family, so I guess that didn't help. And Cillian Murphy wtf: why not just get Justin Bieber next time. Also the batmobile looks like a robot's turd. How can you take all the great work Tim Burton did to rescue Batman from the TV show and make it cool and dark again, and fuck it up like Nolan did? I don't get it.
The Dark Knight: I dig the scenes with Heath Ledger, he makes a fantastic joker. But everything else is pretty worthless, from Christian Bale's idiotic voice to Michael Caine's fawning. It's sad to see all these great actors (Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman) reduced in this way. What totally and completely killed this movie for me was Harvey Dent: not only is his volte-face completely unbelievable, but the face below is too dumb for words. It's like something out of Dick Tracy. Except it's meant to be serious, not a joke.
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101010184006/dcmovies/images/thumb/7/78/Two-Face.jpg/280px-Two-Face.jpg

frankie teardrop
04-25-2012, 11:14 AM
the issue i have with these kind of threads is there's always some choices that are crazy baffling. i guess it's spurning some nice discussion... but man, you guys are something else.

i'm going to roll with the guily pleasure/movies so bad they're awesome angle:

shark attack 3: megalodon (the greatest of all the low budget critter flicks)
sleepwalkers
tank girl
night of the demons
13 going on 30
the gate
troll 2
showgirls
just one of the guys
meet the feebles
sleepaway camp

i would watch any of these without shame, but i definitely know better.

aggroculture
04-25-2012, 11:24 AM
A Scanner Darkly: hated the book, imo it's one of Philip K Dick's worst. California stoners mumbling away interminably whilst high? No thanks. The movie then proceeded to make things worse, with that godawful animation technique. Total headache. No redeeming qualities. The opening scene with the bugs was OK, then it took the fast route to terminal boredom.

Burn After Reading: after the genius of No Country For Old Men I was pumped for the next Coen Brothers movie. This couldn't have been more of a let-down. Obnoxious, unrelatable characters every single one of them. Brad Pitt's untimely death was just depressing. I get they were screaming at the top of their lungs at the Bush-era mentality, but this was, like There Will Be Blood, too dark and hopeless a vision too hook me in. I don't go to the movies to be berated and slapped about. I get enough of that from real life.

Sallos
04-25-2012, 11:35 AM
There Will Be Blood: it was well-made and well-shot, and well-acted. I just found the story and the message too bleak: watching it made me feel miserable and uncomfortable. Maybe that was the intention, but I did not enjoy the experience one bit. I found the ending horribly and unnecessarily violent. He'd already screwed that poor guy, there was no reason to kill him too. Maybe it did not also help that when I saw it at the theater, the third Mars Volta dude was sitting right in front of me. I can see why people enjoy this, though, unlike:

There Will Be Blood is without a doubt the best movie of the past decade. great soundtrack, great acting, direction. a tale about the darkness of a selfmade man.

now talking about shit, Project Cloverfield.

Vertigo
04-25-2012, 11:41 AM
Did anyone else in the world like Cloverfield?

On topic, like Aggroculture I tend to instantly forget bad films. It's more memorable when you disagree with the common concensus, otherwise I'd probably have forgotten most of these (and, on the other side of the coin, probably Cloverfield too).

Cold Mountain - an epic romance built around two people who'd met for about ten minutes, then spent the rest of the movie trying to hook back up. Just to add an extra layer of implausibility, the feminine half of that equation is Nicole Kidman, and I can't begin to comprehend being so two-dimensionally obsessed about someone with such a flat chest. Presumably he was reminded of her whenever he slept without pillows.
:edit: Oh, and on the subject of Kidman, Australia. God that was terrible.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - experienced that magical Chris Columbus touch of fetid bullshit, which the young cast were still too inexperienced to shrug off. Didn't think much of Goblet of Fire either, which aside from the superb finale, lurched clumsily between endless boredom and Bayishly overblown action spectacle.

28 Days Later - seriously impressive opening, with animal liberation activists unleashing armageddon and eerie scenes of an empty London (come to think of it, they pretty much just ripped off 12 Monkeys...). Then we're swamped in meritless gloom, unpleasantness and cliche, with only Cillian Murphy's very most irritating smirk for company. I'll admit he's redeemed himself more recently though.

X-Men: First Class - I seem to have already assigned this one to my brain's recycling bin, because all I can remember is that the acting was the only thing I liked about it.

The Descendants - meandering and pointless. Maybe I missed something, but it didn't feel like the sale of the estate in any way reflected or was meaningly influenced by the situation around Clooney's character's wife. Seems like creating a duality between the two would have been the obvious thing to do, but the two sides of the story just sat there as flaccid, irreconciled lumps.

No Strings Attached - disbelieving shock as an Ashton Kutcher film fails not to suck. Ivan Reitman's been comfortably surpassed by his son at this point, in my opinion.
I don't think that last one was rated by anyone, but it did stick in the memory as I somehow ended up watching it all the way through. Finishing it up with something that literally nobody agrees with:

The Artist - back in the day, directors of silent films understood that to entertain the viewer, they needed to keep the story flowing quickly, very clearly show its progression with great frequency and frame/decorate the scene in a visually arresting way. The Artist did none of these things - there was no dynamism or richness to the direction and cinematography, and the rather thin plot moved quite slowly. It was by far the most horrifically dull experience I've ever had in a cinema. A couple of inventive sequences playing with sound, some strong performances, but aside from that I thought it was absolutely dire. I seem to be the only one though...

Sallos
04-25-2012, 11:47 AM
Reason i mentioned cloverfield was because a few years ago i had a big argument in this forum, in the cloverfield thread (go figure) about how much it sucked and no one, as far as i recall shared the same opinion.

Nothing wrong about enjoiyng shitty movies, just admit what they are.

aggroculture
04-25-2012, 11:48 AM
28 Days Later

Another one for my list. Hated it. Chock full of cliches and nothing else.


The Descendants

This was over-hyped and over-rated: all the best bits were crammed into the trailer, and the actual movie was very underwhelming. I still enjoyed it though, somewhat, just less than I was hoping.

henryeatscereal
04-25-2012, 01:26 PM
X-Men: First Class - I seem to have already assigned this one to my brain's recycling bin, because all I can remember is that the acting was the only thing I liked about it.

I can't belive no one has mentioned this one:

http://pics.filmaffinity.com/X_Men_la_decision_final-356193180-large.jpg
boring, dull, bad actors (except Ian McKellen but he is boring as fuck in this one), and the most ridiculous quote ever: "Charles always wanted to build bridges"

Frozen Beach
04-25-2012, 01:45 PM
No, [insert FILM I like] is AMAZING! [insert FILM I love] is terrible!
I've got to stop looking in these threads...

Jinsai
04-25-2012, 02:11 PM
the issue i have with these kind of threads is there's always some choices that are crazy baffling. i guess it's spurning some nice discussion... but man, you guys are something else.

i'm going to roll with the guily pleasure/movies so bad they're awesome angle:


the gate


I find this choice crazy baffling. The Gate is awesome, and a huge part of my childhood. Maybe the ending sucks, but the claymated troll things are great, and the general premise is campy horror that's aimed at children, yet it's still authentically dark. Gave me nightmares as a kid.

If you wanted to name the sequel though, then I'd agree.


A Scanner Darkly: hated the book, imo it's one of Philip K Dick's worst. California stoners mumbling away interminably whilst high? No thanks.

All opinions aside, that's a terrible synopsis.

frankie teardrop
04-25-2012, 05:13 PM
to be fair, both movies kind of blend together in my memory banks. i felt the actors were a bit...crap. well, that's not too much to expect given that they're kids...but it's definitely below par even by those standards. keep in mind though, that i'd gladly watch any movie that i listed.

that said, agreed completely on the claymation. the eye in the hand too.

Lutz
04-25-2012, 06:51 PM
I hated A Scanner Darkly too. As far as I can remember they also completely reversed the meaning and intentions of the novel but it's been so long since I watched it I don't remember how.

frankie teardrop
04-25-2012, 07:34 PM
two more i thought of on the way home (in the questionably bad but i love them so category):

http://www.impawards.com/1982/posters/cat_people_ver1.jpg


http://www.impawards.com/1992/posters/cool_world_ver1.jpg

bobbie solo
04-26-2012, 12:09 AM
Shitty movies? Where to start. Most of them are bad, for me.
I would say movies that bore the pants off me and make me feel nothing: Crash (Cronenberg), for example. Recently I've hated Melancholia, Antichrist, Shame. Movies where you're waiting for something, anything to happen and it just doesn't come. Contagion was pretty lame and boring.
Cabin in the Woods didn't make me feel a single thing. Except a mild annoyance.
Asian horror movies that are too fucked up/brutal: I Saw The Devil.
Hyped-up movies that don't deliver (a la JJ Abrams): Cloverfield, Super 8.
Sequels of Saw.
Tarsem Singh's Mirror Mirror.
I really hated A Scanner Darkly.
Burn After Reading.
I also hated There Will Be Blood. Too dark for me (sorry I am a pussy).
The Dilemma, with Kevin James. I imagine anything with Kevin James.
Captain America.
Cheap sci-fi movies. Splice.
The first 20 minutes of In Time.
Batman Begins and The Dark Knight *dodges tomatoes and insults*

This is a hard topic because most of the movies I hated I tended to forget.

are you a real human being made of blood and skin and hair?

ManBurning
04-26-2012, 01:16 AM
Summer of Massacre... oh God, what a terrible film.

Corvus T. Cosmonaut
04-26-2012, 01:36 AM
Nothing wrong about enjoiyng shitty movies, just admit what they are.
Of course therein lies the rub, doesn't it? What are shitty movies, what makes them shitty and who says so? Makes the second part of your comment problematic. In terms of spirited on-line discussion 'it was actually pretty good, I just didn't like it' isn't exactly compelling, so the things we don't like tend to project 'this is a bad thing'.

Which is fine, I guess, because hey: fuck Zack Snyder's Watchmen. What a turd. But others are going to read that and puff out in attack stance like they've seen a beast and it's aimed right at them, because when we allow characterization of our media preferences in terms of things I like=good/things I don't like=bad it's all to easy to take shit personally when disagreements arise, like someone's come in and questioned our very ability to know what we do and do not like—or even what we can, or cannot, feel is a good or bad thing.

Not saying there's no room for unleashing the hate on things, to talk about missed opportunities, or to raise legitimate issues about a film's problems. But to approach it in terms of "admit what they are" is hitting the tarmac sideways.

EDIT: Man, can we get custom avatars one of these days, or what.

ManBurning
04-26-2012, 01:46 AM
Man, can we get custom avatars one of these days, or what.

EXACTLY!! I want my goddamn "Man in Flames" icon back to go with my username.

aggroculture
04-26-2012, 07:42 AM
More for my list:

Terminator Salvation: what a pile of shit. Terrible script, terrible acting all round, and you still didn't show us the robots taking over. Helena Bonham Carter playing Skynet was the icing on the (shit) cake.

Anything to do with Joss Whedon. I have yet to see a Whedon production to which my response is "Ah. Now I begin to understand why people worship this guy." Serenity was one of the worst sci-fi movies I've ever seen: smug, incomprehensible, meaningless. Like a bad sci fi parody without knowing that's what it was. (granted I was not familiar with Firefly, when I saw it: but rather than drawing me in or making me curious, this turned me off it totally).

Sucker Punch: when "meta" completely falls flat. I loved 300. I liked Watchmen too. Sucker Punch was appalling. It tried to give you a lesson on how sci fi and videogames objectify hot women, by doing exactly what it was critiquing: objectifying hot women in a sci fi nerd video game setting. Definitely up there in my top 10 worst movies of all time.

Inland Empire. Huge David Lynch fan. Lost Highway is probably my favourite movie of all time. But Inland Empire was painful. Way way way too long. Looked terrible. Made no sense whatsoever (it was made ad-hoc with no script). Rehashed Lynchian themes to the point of self-parody. The ten false endings were one of my most painful cinematic experiences to date: I just wanted this to end.

ImTheWiseJanitor
04-26-2012, 10:24 AM
Sucker Punch: when "meta" completely falls flat. I loved 300. I liked Watchmen too. Sucker Punch was appalling. It tried to give you a lesson on how sci fi and videogames objectify hot women, by doing exactly what it was critiquing: objectifying hot women in a sci fi nerd video game setting. Definitely up there in my top 10 worst movies of all time.

I'll completely agree here. I didn't care for this movie at all...At one point after it came out in theaters, my girlfriend asked me why people were so hyped up for it. I just told her it had a ton of things people like to see in movies. Girls in skimpy clothes for no reason, robots, fighting, imaginative scenery, all that stuff. Even going into it thinking of it as a "just for fun" movie didn't really do it for me, and I typically love those movies for what they are. I'm sure it was someone else's cup of tea, but not for this guy.

Not to mention everybody and their grandma making their Facebook status that stupid quote, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything" just got obnoxious as all hell.

kdrcraig
04-26-2012, 11:11 AM
Even going into it thinking of it as a "just for fun" movie didn't really do it for me, and I typically love those movies for what they are. I'm sure it was someone else's cup of tea, but not for this guy.

That sums it up perfectly. I don't mind an action movie where I can just turn off my brain and enjoy its absurdity, but Sucker Punch was just terrible.

thevoid99
04-26-2012, 01:40 PM
I didn't think Sucker Punch was that bad. It just lacked a strong narrative and had a very weak protagonist in Emily Browning to carry the film. They should've made it more about Abbie Cornish and Jena Malone who were the only performances in that film that I actually cared about. Still, it was a terrible film. I think Zack Snyder wants to be the Hollywood action equivalent to Terry Gilliam. Except Terry Gilliam was a filmmaker who knew how to work around his limits

WorzelG
05-02-2012, 03:53 AM
How can anything Steven Seagal has produced since Under Siege (guilty pleasure) not be in here? Although they fall into the 'so bad they're good' category, it's only for about 15 minutes then I have to switch off.

And I'll second Terminator Salvation - what a boring film, even the action scenes were uninteresting. I'd put Rise of the Machines in here too, the action sequences were so clunky, just vehicles crashing into lampposts etc, whereas the second one had such a symmetry and finesse, - although even with that one, I tend to lose interest after the hospital breakout. The first one is much the best

And the Star Wars prequels, the thing that got me most about them was the pretensions of seriousness - if you want to make it into some entertaining kids film (jar jar binks) don't fill it with a load of tosh about politics. It was badly scripted, awful non chemistry between the leads. How can George Lucas not afford a decent scriptwriter? It tried to be too many things and failed at them all (except the light sabre battles which were very well choreographed I thought)

(I don't actually find jar jar entertaining btw but I know a few kids who did love him, aged about 6)

theimage13
05-02-2012, 06:34 AM
Hangover 2.

Didn't see the first one, and only saw the second one because I was visiting home, had time to kill late at night, and it was at the dollar theater. Didn't laugh one single time, and might have cracked a smile once. Is this seriously what passes as funny now?

sentient02970
05-02-2012, 06:45 AM
Inland Empire. Huge David Lynch fan. Lost Highway is probably my favourite movie of all time. But Inland Empire was painful. Way way way too long. Looked terrible. Made no sense whatsoever (it was made ad-hoc with no script). Rehashed Lynchian themes to the point of self-parody. The ten false endings were one of my most painful cinematic experiences to date: I just wanted this to end.

As a huge David Lynch fan I hate that I agree with this so much. This film was just awful to sit through and was so incomprehensible. A real let down.

When I think of shitty films...ones I almost actually walked out of the theater, I always think of Random Hearts (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0156934/) They take a somewhat interesting plot point and turn it into a meandering slow paced love story that flops. The first 40 minutes is just a montage of woe is me moments.

theruiner
05-02-2012, 06:49 AM
Speaking of Harrison Ford, I still want the two hours back I wasted on Six Days, Seven Nights. What a horrible movie.

slave2thewage
05-02-2012, 07:59 AM
It took all of my inner strength not to walk out of Superbad.

Space Suicide
05-02-2012, 08:47 AM
Kung Pow

I walked out after about 20 minutes. I know the film was supposed to be absurd, badly dubbed and silly but really now....what the hell.

Highly Psychological
05-02-2012, 11:07 AM
V for vendetta ............biggest disapointment in my cinema going life, had been big fan of alan moore comic for years when I heard the wachowskis were in control of the film adaption I was very excited.
was an extreme embarrasment of a fim. I have never cringed so much in my life I think I bit my lip through cringing so much producing blood.
If you had read the alan moore version you would understand why.
Oh god natalie portmans accent!! blowing up big ben! Urgh what the fuck were they thinking. Utter morons. Egg bread! urgh no such thing.
Directed by an australian who had no concept of english culture. The actors acted as if they were being directed by a high school student making a school drama project.
Lame producers pulling all the strings watering down all the challenging material cutting massive chunks out of the story.
the film was made by the exact type of institutions and people the alan moore novel was rebelling against.

theruiner
05-02-2012, 11:24 AM
It took all of my inner strength not to walk out of Superbad.Thank you!

I like that kind of humor, and I like Judd Apatow, and I even like Seth Rogen (though, I have come to find out I do not care for his writing, just his acting...now I know) but that movie was almost completely devoid of laughs. Huge disappointment and I don't get all the love for it.

Speaking of Rogen and his writing, fuck Pineapple Express. Once again, I was really excited to see that and I don't think it had a single funny joke in the entire God damn movie. Awful.

Oh, and more recently, I can't remember the last time I was genuinely pissed off by a movie. Martha Marcy May Marlene pissed me off. I felt like I had completely wasted two hours of my life. Worst ending ever. Horrible movie.

kdrcraig
05-02-2012, 11:42 AM
Speaking of Rogen and his writing, fuck Pineapple Express. Once again, I was really excited to see that and I don't think it had a single funny joke in the entire God damn movie. Awful.

That movie was terrible and I heard so many good things about it before I watched it. Couldn't have been more wrong.

aggroculture
05-02-2012, 12:05 PM
I liked Pineapple Express, but I am pretty sure you need to be high when watching it.
I also dug Superbad, but not the scenes with Rogen.
One Rogen film I totally hated was Observe and Report: it couldn't figure out whether it was a comedy or not.

I know I'm in the minority here, but I also liked V For Vendetta: never the read the comic, but now I'm curious. I don't get a good feeling about Alan Moore's works though: I enjoyed The Watchmen movie a lot more than the graphic novel. Maybe it has something to do with the really unappealling artwork Moore employs: to me it just looks like any other mainstream comic, if not worse.

henryeatscereal
05-02-2012, 12:18 PM
talk about shitty comedies...

http://www.veronlinepeliculas.net/files/uploads/532.jpg
The only joke i kinda liked was the one about Britney, and that's it, the movie is so dumb is not even funny

Space Suicide
05-02-2012, 12:43 PM
talk about shitty comedies...

http://www.veronlinepeliculas.net/files/uploads/532.jpg
The only joke i kinda liked was the one about Britney, and that's it, the movie is so dumb is not even funny


All of the ....Movie movies are horrible. Those writers suck and need to get over it already. Scary Movie series, date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, etc. They ALL SUCK!

PooPooMeowChow
05-02-2012, 01:33 PM
Come on the original 3 Scary Movies are good.

The new Mission Impossible is utter shit though.

henryeatscereal
05-02-2012, 02:21 PM
I just care for Scary Movie 1, and mostly because Anna Farris, the second and third are awful, and "Epic Movie" and "Superhero Movie" are both Shit Sandwiches, i agree with Space Suicide, the idea is getting old and not even executed right (The original genere spoofs came from the great Mel Brooks)

thevoid99
05-02-2012, 02:40 PM
All of the ....Movie movies are horrible. Those writers suck and need to get over it already. Scary Movie series, date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, etc. They ALL SUCK!

I don't even consider them films because there's no effort to these works of shit. I had the unfortunate of watching Meet the Spartans in its entirety. Mind you, I was in mourning because my youngest sister had passed away. I was watching this... and I realized there's worse things than death. This is one of them. It's like watching a loop that escalates where nothing really happens except it just gets worse and worse and worse as it progresses.

This is essentially what Friedberg/Seltzer do. They take a scene, try and make fun of it, add a stupid pop culture reference, and add a bad joke in the mix. For the next scene, repeat, add some inane piece of pop music and a dance sequence. Do that again but have Carmen Electra do her thing.

Porno films have more imagination than this. Sure, they're aware that the movies they make have no plot but they don't have much of a budget either. At least I can respect a porno filmmaker.

Friedberg/Seltzer however, have millions of dollars invested in these shit projects that they just don't really do anything. People are there just to get a paycheck and it's like "whatever". Bad filmmakers at least put the effort to make their shitty movies. These guys don't even do anything at all but just make fun of a movie and that's it. I don't even consider their movies worthy enough to be called films or movies. Not even worthy to be called a bad movie. It's just absolute junk.

Jinsai
05-02-2012, 03:03 PM
ALL of the Scary Movies sucked. It created a new precedent in derivative comedy. Not only were they parodying a recent blockbuster movie, but they were parodying a parody. I would say that the idea of dedicating an entire film to lampooning Scream is a stupid and misguided idea, but I guess I would be wrong considering that it was successful enough to spawn five sequels.

The thing is, this trend was actually pioneered by Mel Brooks. Anyone who remembers that fucking terrible movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights has to admit it. He made several brilliant genre send offs, then he made Spaceballs, where he finally reduced the scope of his comedy to a specific movie. Still, it's hard to hate on Spaceballs, isn't it? And we can argue that was different, because SPaceballs after all was parodying Star Wars, which by that point was already a cultural institution and an undeniable phenomenon.

...unlike Scream, 300, or Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. There was no justification for basing a feature length parody around the fucking Kevin Costner Robin Hood movie. A lot of people like to point at Scary Movie for creating this bullshit genre, but in reality the blame lies with Robin Hood Men In Tights, which was the unfunniest piece of shit ever (up until they made Meet the Spartans).

henryeatscereal
05-02-2012, 04:54 PM
It's true that Mel Brooks reduced his scope with "Spaceballs" and "Men in Tight"s and even the disatrous "Dracula: Dead and loving it", still he made awesome spoofs prior to those: "Young Frankestein" "Silent Movie" "Blazing Saddles" "History of the World" are all widely imitated classics.
At least Mel was able to mimic several film styles, Friedberg & Seltzer's films all look the same, and all his jokes are generic pop culture humour with some stupid punch line that it's often racist and/or sexist.

Fixer808
05-02-2012, 09:00 PM
Fuck you, Spaceballs is the shit.

sentient02970
05-02-2012, 09:21 PM
OK yes despite Life Stinks, Brooks just can't be shit on...my opinion.

thevoid99
05-02-2012, 09:34 PM
Men in Tights and Dracula: Dead or Loving It aren't great parodies. I think Brooks was getting lazy at that point. It didn't really have anything to root for though it had their moments.

Spaceballs is probably the last great film Brooks has made. It wasn't just some great parody on Star Wars and other sci-fi films. It had actually had some commentary about the state of the home video market at the time as well as the world of merchandising! The latter of which is hilarious which was a shot towards George Lucas' emphasis to make money through stupid things from Star Wars. BTW, has anyone seen the Princess Leia sex doll that Carrie Fisher has?

henryeatscereal
05-02-2012, 10:40 PM
Fuck you, Spaceballs is the shit.
nobody said different, i love that movie

Goldfoot
05-02-2012, 11:42 PM
Come on the original 3 Scary Movies are good.

The new Mission Impossible is utter shit though.

I disagree with both of those statements. I refuse to explain myself as you didn't bother to do so to begin with.

Corvus T. Cosmonaut
05-03-2012, 01:42 AM
said some things, waved his hands, beat the table with his fist
I don't disagree with you on Scary Movie and all of the other Seltzer and Friedberg lowest-common-denominator mere reference 'parody' movies for retards. (As much as I like Anna Faris in just about everything, I can do so without tipping my goblet to this schlock.) But I think your blame on Mel Brooks is mis-placed, sort of. Yeah, he's basically been garbage, creatively, since about Spaceballs, with Robin Hood: Men in Tights being an awful time in the theater even for a nine-year-old (me!), he was not the first person to take up the form.

An equal part of the blame falls on some people whose work is held in far higher regard than it has any reason to be: the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker movies from the 1970s and '80s. These would be the likes of Airplane!, the television show Police Squad! and its movie companions the Naked Gun series. And let's not forget Hot Shots!. It's no surprise then that David Zucker would go on to be involved with the Scary Movie sequels, when his career beached on the rocks in the land of old, crotchety, humorless comedy writerdom (see also: his movie, An American Carol).

Also, we might want to drop some blame on National Lampoon, too (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loaded_Weapon_1).

Jinsai
05-03-2012, 02:37 AM
Also, we might want to drop some blame on National Lampoon, too (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loaded_Weapon_1).

It's actually interesting that both Loaded Weapon 1 and Robin Hood: Men in Tights came out the same year...

I loved Spaceballs as a kid, and I still love it... but it's the earliest example of this sort of thing that I can think of. I'll still say it's different from the kind of derivative crap we're talking about, but it seems like it paved the way, and it would be easier to excuse it for doing so if Mel hadn't gone on to make his god awful Robin Hood and Dracula parodies.

Maybe it was inevitable that it would devolve into this though. Who knows. All I know is that Robin Hood: Men in Tights sucks, and Spaceballs is still fun. And I'm not saying I hate Mel Brooks... Blazing Saddles is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Corvus T. Cosmonaut
05-03-2012, 02:46 AM
Depends on what you mean by "this sort of thing". Young Frankenstein was obviously a parody, but it was a good movie and creative in its own right. Going much further back, one might argue for consideration of Abbott and Costello. And consider the ZAZ flicks, with airplane disaster parody Airplane! coming out in 1980.

Jinsai
05-03-2012, 03:01 AM
Depends on what you mean by "this sort of thing". Young Frankenstein was obviously a parody, but it was a good movie and creative in its own right. Going much further back, one might argue for consideration of Abbott and Costello. And consider the ZAZ flicks, with airplane disaster parody Airplane! coming out in 1980.

Sure, but those movies weren't such direct parodies of one specific movie. Young Frankenstein was distanced by the fact that it presented itself as a "sequel" of sorts, and it was so original in so many other ways that it more referenced classic horror monster movies. And stuff like "Abbot and Costello Meet the Wolfman" isn't quite the same either really...

I really shouldn't be bringing up Spaceballs, and maybe only because I like it. It's hard to bash it, and there's enough things that set it apart... but it bothers me when considering the progression towards "Robin Hood Men in Tights" and "Dracula Dead and Loving It." I see no difference between the unoriginal cash-in parody of something like "Vampires Suck!" and "Robin Hood Men in Tights."

Corvus T. Cosmonaut
05-03-2012, 03:22 AM
I think it's just wrong in the first place to draw the line in the sand and say, "Here, this: this is why we're stuck with this bullshit today."

Jinsai
05-03-2012, 04:49 AM
I think it's just wrong in the first place to draw the line in the sand and say, "Here, this: this is why we're stuck with this bullshit today."

I'm pretty sure I never said that... and I didn't draw any lines in the sand. I'm pretty sure "Scary Movie" would have happened anyway, I'm just saying that Robin Hood: Men in Tights did the exact same thing first, and it sucks just as much. We have to give credit to the people who got there first.

While I'm in this thread though, I guess I should mention that Eurotrip is on TV right now, and this shit sucks. It's almost as if it's a comedy directly targeted at Americans who have never traveled outside of the US, but for some reason think that Europeans are silly backwards fuckers whose women would all rather have sex with them. I mean, flying outside of the US would be really fun right, but only if I get to fuck some hot German girl I met on the net who desperately wants me, and while I'm there, I can punch a French mime in the balls.

henryeatscereal
05-03-2012, 08:23 AM
Oh god Eurotrip is god awful, also the National Lampoon movies, but i admit "Porky's" and "House Party" as guilty pleasures

Space Suicide
05-03-2012, 08:54 AM
Oh god Eurotrip is god awful, also the National Lampoon movies, but i admit "Porky's" and "House Party" as guilty pleasures

I wouldn't say all of them. All 4 of the Vacation movies are great, even Vegas.

kdrcraig
05-03-2012, 08:56 AM
Ha I really liked Eurotrip, haven't watched it since college though.

"This isn't where I parked my car"

henryeatscereal
05-03-2012, 09:24 AM
I wouldn't say all of them. All 4 of the Vacation movies are great, even Vegas.
I forgot about those, i do like them i think even "Xmas Vacations" was a good one, but the idea became old quickly, Animal House is classic too, but they made many inferior movies with low budget, Class Reunion for instance was a generic "Animal House"

slave2thewage
05-03-2012, 09:47 AM
American comedy TV shows are a fuck lot better than American comedy movies.

Fixer808
05-03-2012, 04:25 PM
nobody said different, i love that movie
Just covering my bases!

theruiner
05-03-2012, 07:54 PM
I know this hasn't come out yet, but I'm preeeettty sure this is going to be bad. Call it a hunch.

Finally a movie that addresses the evils of pornography. And you'll be surprised to find out it's actually a Christian movie! It's a porn-centric movie the whole family can enjoy!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVfOqCyXgAY&feature=player_embedded


Edit: HA!!! The FAQ is even better.


Harmless is a feature film shot in the popular found footage style. It’s the story about a husband and father and his battle with a box of porn that is found in the closet. Once opened, the box of porn begins to torment the family, much like a poltergeist. It’s sort of a social commentary on how pornography can destroy a family.Really? Wow, I'm glad they explained it, because the message was so subtle I wouldn't have figured it out otherwise.


Because films are not only entertaining but they’re also a way to teach people. Society learns their morals and values through music, film and television. Pornography is such a huge problem that simply telling someone how dangerous it is usually doesn’t work. You have to tell a compelling story to catch someone’s attention and then educate them while they’re being entertained.Well, hate to break it to you, but people are not going to be entertained. And pornography isn't dangerous. Telling people to suppress their natural human inclinations, however, is.

sentient02970
05-03-2012, 08:00 PM
Seriously, who needs a cardboard box for porn anymore?

theruiner
05-03-2012, 08:11 PM
^^Apparently you've never run out of tissues.

slave2thewage
05-03-2012, 08:52 PM
Haunted porn mags?! Genius.

orestes
05-03-2012, 10:03 PM
Seriously, who needs a cardboard box for porn anymore?

http://rochester.metromix.com/content_image/full/2936165/518/370

butters
05-07-2012, 03:17 PM
That Harmless shit is just beyond awesome. I can't even begin to explain the joy that trailer brought me, knowing that a movie like that exists. A fucking haunted box of porn. Ho-ly shit is that bad. I will never watch that piece of crap, but I love knowing that it exists.

hellospaceboy
05-07-2012, 10:59 PM
There are tons of bad movies out there, but these ones especially hurt:

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Batman Forever, Batman and Robin
Terminator 3
the Crow 2 city of angels
Daredevil
Star Wars prequels
Spider-man 3

henryeatscereal
05-07-2012, 11:05 PM
There are tons of bad movies out there, but these ones especially hurt:

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Batman Forever, Batman and Robin
Terminator 3
the Crow 2 city of angels
Daredevil
Star Wars prequels
Spider-man 3
Just add Fantastic Four (2005), X-Men 3 and X-Men Origins: Wolverine and you'll have the worst superhero movies ever...

marodi
05-07-2012, 11:13 PM
I've been thinking about what I could put in this thread and I've come to the realization that I don't really hate any movies. I can recognize when a movie is bad but being bad doesn't make me hate it. In my opinion the worst offence a movie can do is being boring which, as far as I'm concerned is entirely different than being bad. Boring doesn't mean bad.

There are a few really bad movies that I love though; the worst of the worst being Speed 2. It's a terrible excuse of a movie but somehow, I find it highly entertaining.

thevoid99
05-08-2012, 12:36 AM
I fucking loathed X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I thought I would never see a film worse than Transformers 2 that year. I was wrong. Wolverine takes it because they made Wolverine look like a pussy. They messed up the origin story. The visual effects were bad and made the locations look more fake than ever. You had a twist in the third act that made everything even dumber. And then comes the villain Wolverine has to face and it was like... "that?" 2009 for me had 3 of the worst films that year. This, Transformers 2 (though it wasn't surprising at how bad it was), and Gentleman Broncos.

Lutz
05-08-2012, 12:42 AM
There are tons of bad movies out there, but these ones especially hurt:

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Batman Forever, Batman and Robin
Terminator 3
the Crow 2 city of angels
Daredevil
Star Wars prequels
Spider-man 3

Yeah but these are all fairly middling examples when you think of franchises that have really scraped the bottom of the barrel - see Hellraiser 5 onward.

Jinsai
05-08-2012, 03:24 AM
I've been thinking about what I could put in this thread and I've come to the realization that I don't really hate any movies. I can recognize when a movie is bad but being bad doesn't make me hate it.

Have you ever seen a Kevin James movie?

dlb
05-08-2012, 03:47 AM
I fucking loathed X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I thought I would never see a film worse than Transformers 2 that year. I was wrong. Wolverine takes it because they made Wolverine look like a pussy. They messed up the origin story. The visual effects were bad and made the locations look more fake than ever. You had a twist in the third act that made everything even dumber. And then comes the villain Wolverine has to face and it was like... "that?" 2009 for me had 3 of the worst films that year. This, Transformers 2 (though it wasn't surprising at how bad it was), and Gentleman Broncos.

100 times this!

I am not even an X-Men fan, but I think I've never ever had so many rage fueled discussions about how bad this one was. And it could have easily been a kick-ass summer blockbuster. Hell, Zack Snyder could not have possibly fucked this one up so badly. At least it would've been gory and stylized.

henryeatscereal
05-08-2012, 09:07 AM
"X-Men Origins: Wolverine" is one of the worst superhero movies ever, it has a terrible plot, nasty dialogs and the ruined the best comic character ever!!! (Deadpool)
http://thefilmstage.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/wolverine.jpg
"Im Drinking to remember", WTF?

AgentofChaos
05-08-2012, 09:51 AM
"X-Men Origins: Wolverine" is one of the worst superhero movies ever, it has a terrible plot, nasty dialogs and the ruined the best comic character ever!!! (Deadpool)
http://thefilmstage.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/wolverine.jpg
"Im Drinking to remember", WTF?


I don't know, I'm a pretty regular reader of Wolverine, and the first 2/3 to 3/4 of the film never bothered me at all. It wasn't amazing, but I legitimately enjoyed it for what it was.

The whole Deadpool thing, yeah I don't know what happened there, that was just unforgivable. You cast Ryan Reynolds in a role where you don't even let him speak, a role that was supposed to all about the snappy one liners, etc, and you don't even give him the mask? It was a weird mash up to begin with, but if you did the character right, you could have potentially gotten away with it. It ended up being a travesty. Even more so that the Deadpool movie isn't even happening anymore, because of how bad the character sucked in the film.

So yeah, first 2/3 of Wolverine, ok in my books, last third/quater... just disgusting. Not trying to make excuses for the film, it is what it is, but then again I never hated Spidey 3 or X3. Sure they were disappointments, worsts of their trilogies, and they are frustrating because of what they could have been, but at the time there were still fun elements of each that I appreciated in their own way. Goth Peter Parker, X-Men forming the line, stuff like that. Moments. The films on the whole may not have lived up to expectations, but that never stopped me from enjoying some of those individuals scenes, characters, lines, or images. Every Marvel film has some of those, regardless of how they turn out by the end. It's because of this, I don't think there is one Marvel movie I legitimately dislike or would never watch again. They all have something in there for me, and they all have replay value (obviously some more than others). I guess I'm just a huge, very forgiving comic book geek with very low expectations.

henryeatscereal
05-08-2012, 12:06 PM
The whole Deadpool thing, yeah I don't know what happened there, that was just unforgivable. You cast Ryan Reynolds in a role where you don't even let him speak, a role that was supposed to all about the snappy one liners, etc, and you don't even give him the mask? It was a weird mash up to begin with, but if you did the character right, you could have potentially gotten away with it. It ended up being a travesty. Even more so that the Deadpool movie isn't even happening anymore, because of how bad the character sucked in the film.

The Deadpool thing is what bothered me the most, but i also think the plot is poor. I understand the fact that everything in Wolvie's life is "made-up" but i think it was done the dumb way, just making him part of any random conspiracy available, the one liners ruin the movie too, i understand it's not an Orson Welles film, but damn... they sure did a lazy job.
Bottom Line: It could have been so much better (or decent to say the least) that's what really pisses me off... everything was there: The Cast, The Effects, The Characters; it's just bad plotting a ridiculous decisions (a genetically altered Deadpool using cyclops optic blasts? WTF?)

...but i guess im just a very unforgiving comic book geek ;)

marodi
05-08-2012, 01:50 PM
Have you ever seen a Kevin James movie?

No but I'm definitely going to check it out!

NIN64
05-08-2012, 02:42 PM
*cough*Avengers*cough*

Jinsai
05-08-2012, 04:33 PM
Larry Crowne. This was on in the background, and I should have changed the channel but I was transfixed by how completely terrible it was. What a pile of smirky ineffectual bullshit.

coolguy
05-09-2012, 02:17 AM
I still think the worst movie I've ever had to watch is Boondock Saints. I really really don't get the hype behind this movie. The intro is bad enough, with the two guys walking next to each other (into a church I think?) in slow motion for like literally 5 minutes.

Jinsai
05-28-2012, 11:37 PM
Vampires Suck is on TV now... it's basically a "Scary Movie" parody of the Twilight series.

This may win as the shittiest thing ever created... I've seen Meet the Spartans, and this is worse. Holy shit, I have a really hard time understanding how this was made. I'm actively fantasizing about beating the living shit out of the people who made this.

EDIT: Though I guess it's fitting that "If I Was Your Vampire" by Marilyn Manson is playing over the credits. What a fucking terrible movie. I feel like I need to take a shower

Frozen Beach
05-29-2012, 01:06 AM
I still think the worst movie I've ever had to watch is Boondock Saints. I really really don't get the hype behind this movie. The intro is bad enough, with the two guys walking next to each other (into a church I think?) in slow motion for like literally 5 minutes.
It's because William Defoe is great in the movie, the best thing about it.

theruiner
05-29-2012, 02:22 AM
Vampires Suck is on TV now... it's basically a "Scary Movie" parody of the Twilight series.

This may win as the shittiest thing ever created... I've seen Meet the Spartans, and this is worse. Holy shit, I have a really hard time understanding how this was made. I'm actively fantasizing about beating the living shit out of the people who made this.

EDIT: Though I guess it's fitting that "If I Was Your Vampire" by Marilyn Manson is playing over the credits. What a fucking terrible movie. I feel like I need to take a shower
Yeah, but have you seen this? (http://tinyurl.com/7mww5yh)

Elke
05-29-2012, 10:10 AM
The Saint, the one with Val Kilmer wearing various disquises. Oh, and the one where Bruce Willis wears various disguises... I don't remember what it was called. Was it a remake of a spy movie?

And of course, my two all-time least favourite movies: The Man In the Iron Mask (I HATE THIS FILM FOR ITS INCOMPETENCE IN LIGHT OF ITS POTENTIAL!) and The Back-Up Plan. Not romantic, not funny, not anything.

henryeatscereal
05-29-2012, 12:07 PM
what could have been an awesome movie, was ruined with cheesy acting, bad plotting and lots of clichés...

http://www.dvdlink.ca/images/Movies%20Covers/5826/27/1219369536_1219486608.jpg

sentient02970
05-29-2012, 12:29 PM
Hi, I'm Milla, I'm here to ruin your movie.

Sutekh
05-29-2012, 12:33 PM
Blair Witch 2. Just inexcusable.

And all of these dull as dishwater day glo CGI superhero movies of the past 10-15 years have been shit. Hulk, Fantastic 4, Iron Man. They're all shit! It's for overgrown kids with low standards, there I said it

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and watch Doctor Who with a big bag of chips

Jinsai
05-29-2012, 12:36 PM
Yeah, but have you seen this? (http://tinyurl.com/7mww5yh)

Fuuuuuuuuuck...

These people need to be stopped. Who is actually paying money to see these movies?
That's it. I'm making a documentary. The next time one of these "Silly Movie!" parody pieces of shit comes along, I'm going to attend as many screenings as I can and interview the people who are paying money to see these films in the theaters... then I'm going to fucking stalk them. It's going to be called "Stupid Motherfuckers"

orestes
05-29-2012, 05:20 PM
Hi, I'm Milla, I'm here to ruin your movie.

Speaking of Milla, anyone seen this this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Million_Dollar_Hotel)? Admittedly, the other only that's probably still enjoyable is the soundtrack.

kitz
05-29-2012, 06:03 PM
Shame
It got a lot of positive reviews and I only heard good things about it, until I saw the film. The script was dull and forced, the actors (apart from Fassbender) were totally forgettable. It tried so hard to be like a meaningful film, but most of the time while I was watching it it made me go like "what the fuck?! What was that? Oh maaan this sucks"
Seriously the only good thing about it was Mr. Fassbender's thing hmmmmm, hello *cough*

aggroculture
05-29-2012, 08:01 PM
^^^^^
THIS. Finally someone else who wasn't seduced by the lame clichefest that was Shame.

henryeatscereal
05-29-2012, 09:37 PM
Speaking of Milla, anyone seen this this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Million_Dollar_Hotel)? Admittedly, the other only that's probably still enjoyable is the soundtrack.
Most boring "artsy-pretentious-Wenders ripoff" ever!

LaneSax
05-29-2012, 11:05 PM
this has got to be up there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfD6-5Qf-cc

hellospaceboy
05-29-2012, 11:26 PM
sorry guys, but I can't let you forget about this one:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Gu9HtN05sc

henryeatscereal
05-30-2012, 08:32 AM
sorry guys, but I can't let you forget about this one:
Dam you! now i remember (*pukes*)

On Topic: Love Kevin Bacon, Hate this movie:

http://lefthandhorror.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/stir-of-echoes-poster.gif

orestes
05-30-2012, 12:09 PM
Most boring "artsy-pretentious-Wenders ripoff" ever!

But it's directed by Wenders. :?

henryeatscereal
05-30-2012, 12:29 PM
But it's directed by Wenders. :?
hahaha, my bad, i hated it so much it seemed to me it was a Wenders ripoff

aggroculture
06-04-2012, 12:49 PM
Clerks. What a disappointment, I mean really. I cannot fathom how this became a cult movie.
If it were released now it'd sink without trace.

Goldfoot
06-04-2012, 01:13 PM
Clerks. What a disappointment, I mean really. I cannot fathom how this became a cult movie.
If it were released now it'd sink without trace.
In a row?!

Space Suicide
06-04-2012, 07:01 PM
Clerks. What a disappointment, I mean really. I cannot fathom how this became a cult movie.
If it were released now it'd sink without trace.

I've tried watching it and its sequel many times. I don't think it's any good, funny, excellent or anything remarkable. Just dull and boring to me.

wizfan
06-04-2012, 07:41 PM
anything remarkable

Clerks will always be remarkable for me because of the Star Wars dialogue and the scene with the mother and the baby.

I hated, hated, HATED Sweeney Todd. Never seen the musical and probably never will. Interestingly enough, Kevin Smith made a "re-enactment" (ahem) of the play in Jersey Girl (which many people hated, but I thought it was okay). I'd rather watch the "Ben Affleck version" 90 times than sit through Tim Burton's suckfest again. Everything about it was awful. The characters were unbearable, the songs were incredibly annoying, the hyper-violence was unnecessary, I didn't root for the hero, I didn't hate the villain as much as I was supposed to, the plot twists were predictable and even its few saving graces, the production design and overall aesthetic overstayed their welcome. I kind of understand why so many people love it, but nobody understands why I hate it. Well, here you go.

Sutekh
06-05-2012, 05:48 AM
Clerks was big because people werent over the casual conversation as dialogue thing (the tarantino thing of standing around talking about nothing)... Also the pop culture as reference points aspect wasnt done in many films back then, certainly it would be one of the first films to go on about star wars (not the last, see shows like spaced), and the intial wave of star wars fans would have been in their 20s 30s at that point, etc etc

wizfan
06-06-2012, 01:48 AM
Plus, the dirty jokes. Smith has gotten lots of attention for the repeated cursing and crass humor in his movies. As he once wrote in his blog when he discovered germs in the saliva are much more dangerous than those living in shit, "I have a dirty mouth. And, apparently, it's even dirtier than my asshole."

Disaster (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0281811/) may as well be the dumbest movie I've ever seen. I'm so glad I missed the first 30-40 minutes or so. Yeah, I shouldn't have an opinion if I haven't seen the whole thing, but what I saw (and I watched it until the end) was completely laughable, so I doubt the rest was Oscar-worthy material.

Speaking of disasters, this movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295427/) is so facepalm-worthy that it doesn't even deserve being compared to shit. Making scatological references to describe this movie would actually do it justice. It's that bad. And Brent fucking Spiner is in it.

Crash. Yeah, the 2004 movie, the one that got an Oscar. It didn't deserve most of the praise it got. It was generic, naive, tearjerker Lifetime material that somehow got a big movie release. Why do I hate movies with Jennifer Esposito so much? Oh, well, it's not her fault, as I hated her the least in both movies. Plus, she got naked in Crash, that was nice of her.

henryeatscereal
06-06-2012, 08:51 AM
Speaking of disasters, this movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0295427/) is so facepalm-worthy that it doesn't even deserve being compared to shit. Making scatological references to describe this movie would actually do it justice. It's that bad. And Brent fucking Spiner is in it.

Damn, i watched this one at the movie theater mostly because Dana Carvey, i had so much faith in him, the movie disappoints, but it's the kind of thing "you want to give it a chance" because you love the actor so much, such a bomb...
speaking of crappy SNL spinoffs:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/aa/Ladies-man-movie.jpg/220px-Ladies-man-movie.jpg

keysersoze
06-06-2012, 10:21 AM
Everything 3D
Everything Adam Sandler (Punchdrunk also?..yes)
Everything Rob Schnider or "SNL Guys"
Everything Owen Wilson
Everything "fast and furious, part 1,2 3,4 ...."

also: FUCK REMAKES...FUCK THEM ALL.


Movies are not the same as before.

aggroculture
06-06-2012, 10:28 AM
Clerks was big because people werent over the casual conversation as dialogue thing (the tarantino thing of standing around talking about nothing)

But Clerks didn't sound casual at all: it sounded like they were reading this really laborious, overwrought script, really fast. Nobody talks like that: I felt like I was watching a bunch of amateurs. Which I was. Tarantino by constrast is great at making loopy dialogue seem so utterly casual.

thevoid99
06-06-2012, 02:18 PM
I had a unfortunate morning watching Bratz: The Movie today. I will admit to having masochistic tendencies to watch a bad movie just to see how bad it is. That was not a film. It was a bullshit propaganda feature-length commercial into saying buying expensive clothes, have your hair a certain way, wear jewelry, and sing stupid pop sings while being true to your friends so you can be on MTV or whatever. I wanted to gouge my eyes out watching this. Jon Voight, what did he do to appear in this piece of shit? Was it for appearing in all of those awful Michael Bay films or was it the fact that he was willing to sell his soul just for a measly paycheck? No wonder Angelina Jolie had been estranged from him for such a long time.

owinn
06-06-2012, 02:33 PM
Clerks. What a disappointment, I mean really. I cannot fathom how this became a cult movie.
If it were released now it'd sink without trace. If you can't fathom why this was a cult hit in the 1990s then you were living in a cave in the 1990s or weren't a teenager then.

theruiner
06-07-2012, 03:58 AM
I was 16 when it came out (which is also when I saw it), so maybe my opinion would be different today, but I remember The Ninth Gate being a TERRIBLE movie.

Highly Psychological
06-07-2012, 06:39 AM
The Forgotten with Julianne Moore. Came out in 2004. The fuck up of an ending...WOW.....Aliens took her son? What the fuck?
ending was so bad its unbelievable . So lazy.

If you have ever been disappointed with the way a film ends....check this one out.

About a woman 'searching' for her son. She asks people for information as to where he is, they inform her she never had a son in the first place.
She insists she did have a son and goes on a quest. The premise is interesting for first 20 minutes. That's why the ending seems so bad. Then the film becomes appalling at a dramatic rate.

And yeah....you find out it was 'Aliens' who did it they say 'not enough time' or something and it just ends.
Its like something went wrong on set and they had to end the project quickly so just blamed it on the Aliens.
Apparently there is an alternative ending. Thats much better.
This just reminded me of the simpsons episode itchy and scratchy and poochie where they cant even bee bothered and just say Poochie went to his home planet.

mfte
06-07-2012, 12:37 PM
Feast

Henry Rollins is in it. So it Jason Mewes and Baltazar Getty. A bar in the desert gets attacked by mosters kinda like Tremors. The movie is horrible and boring. I would randomly fast forward and it was always the same things minus a few less survivours.


Homeboy

Starring Mickey Rourke and Christopher Walken. I have been on a recent Mickey Rourke kick where I decided to watch all of his movies. Its not joke that his output bottomed out in wuality during the 90s.

Amaro
06-07-2012, 01:29 PM
Everything Owen Wilson

Excuse me? I don't like you.

thevoid99
06-07-2012, 02:23 PM
How can anyone dislike everything w/ Owen Wilson? What about his work with Wes Anderson or Midnight in Paris?

Goldfoot
06-07-2012, 02:53 PM
How can anyone dislike everything w/ Owen Wilson? What about his work with Wes Anderson or Midnight in Paris?

My friend hates Owen Wilson. He's got the same aversion to him as I have for Ben Affleck.

Elke
06-07-2012, 03:57 PM
I have that with Matt Damon. Can't stand him, even when he's actually very good. Cannot. Stand. Him.

Space Suicide
06-07-2012, 04:48 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtMZKYnLg5c&feature=player_embedded

Why Dennis Hopper, why?

Frozen Beach
06-07-2012, 05:27 PM
Why Dennis Hopper, why?
Because he was paid money and probably didn't even know what the videogame was like

Amaro
06-07-2012, 05:43 PM
I have a pretty good feeling some of you take some movies too seriously.

thevoid99
06-07-2012, 09:01 PM
I read a bio by John Leguizamo. He said Super Mario Bros. was a terrible experience because there were a bunch of directors involved who didn't know how to make a movie. The only good thing Leguizamo had to say about the film was getting shit-faced with Bob Hoskins every day after filming.

henryeatscereal
06-07-2012, 10:18 PM
Why Dennis Hopper, why?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdrlALQVEKM

...

..

.

MONKEY!

Highly Psychological
06-08-2012, 03:10 AM
Halloween Resurrection (2002) the one with Busta Rhymes was so bad it was really sad. Was horrible watching a classic project fall into the wrong hands and get destroyed.
This is probably the worst film I have ever paid to see . Behind anger there is sadness and with this it was beyond anger. It was just sadness and worry for the next generation of youth i felt as i left the theatre after seeing this.
There was no art involved. Just nothing, total insult to the audience. And to the Horror genre.
Struggled to fathom what i had seen after this.

I know this film has subsequently been disowned by the franchise, but it was worrying at the time, who were these people in Hollywood churning out this shit?
Especially after how good Halloween H20 was, around 2002 last decade a lot of shit was coming out, it was worrying.

henryeatscereal
06-08-2012, 10:31 AM
Halloween Resurrection (2002) the one with Busta Rhymes was so bad it was really sad. Was horrible watching a classic project fall into the wrong hands and get destroyed
...

Especially after how good Halloween H20 was, around 2002 last decade a lot of shit was coming out, it was worrying.
I agree, H20 was one of the best ones in the franchise and then we get "Resurrection", what a crappy follow-up!
Many of the fans consider "Halloween 3" the weakest link, i disagree i think it's not that bad, just different, but man, "Resurrection" sucked ass, but i gotta admit i laughed hard when Busta shouts: "trick or treat motherfucker!"

ImTheWiseJanitor
06-19-2012, 08:30 PM
So, I bought the Silent Hill movie a while back, on blu-ray...I dunno why, probably just because it was $9. It had zero bonus features on it. Not even commentary. The other day, I picked up a used copy of the DVD for $1.50, solely because it had the bonus features on it. The fact that I had to buy the movie twice to get all the content sucks as is, but that's not why I came here.

I just wanted to say that if you're a director, and you want to adapt a video game into a movie while "remaining as true to the source material as possible," you should probably start with avoiding these things: Changing the main character's gender, making 90% of the cast female, as opposed to an even split in the game, changing the names/identities of all but three characters in the entire movie, adding multiple characters that aren't in the game at all, taking out characters that are essential to the game's story, completely changing the driving forces behind the story, recycling the soundtrack completely using Silent Hill game soundtracks + Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire"...

I mean, the list just goes on. I will seriously contend that I could adapt a Silent Hill movie better than this. I know that they need to change a few things to make it more appealing to a wider audience, but there's a way to do that without butchering the source material....It's not a TERRIBLE movie. Even some of the camera work was pretty cool, and mirrored certain shots from the game. And a couple of moments were downright AWESOME (Pyramid head in front of the church was one). But if the right people were on board with making a Silent Hill movie, it could have turned out a lot better. I only bought it because I've grown to really like the Silent Hill franchise these last few months. Even if they wanted to do a Silent Hill film that was a stand-alone from the games, that could turn out okay. But don't make a film based on the first game and then change it to the point where it has nothing in common with the first game. "We wanted to listen to the fanbase more than anything" my ass.

I know, it's a shallow thing to bitch about, but this guy did to Silent Hill what Mr. Brainwash did to graffiti. "HEY I LIKE THAT STUFF I CAN DO IT TOO LOOK EVERYONE!"

I'll see Silent Hill 3D. I'm gonna go in with pretty low expectations, but with hopes that maybe they learned from their mistakes.

Also, Sean Bean would have been a great Harry Mason.

wizfan
06-19-2012, 08:47 PM
Drive Angry.

I was actually surprised by the movie's story and setting. It seemed it could become a nice homage to 80's trashy thrillers. I mean, the trashiness is there. Swearing, nudity, violence. And it was shot in 3D (I saw the 2D version, mind you).

Buuuuuut, it failed so miserably.

It tried to be "so bad, it's good" and screwed up in the process. I'll admit it wasn't an awful movie. It never felt excessive. However, this is part of why it's a failure; it was simply not excessive enough. It played it safe, and that took away the fun from all the violent scenes. The "3D show-off" scenes were pretty stupid, since most of them were based on terrible CGI (the "stuff flying at you during an explosion" scene was horribly executed). I couldn't believe a 2011 mainstream theatrical release could have effects worse than a direct-to-video shitfest.

And, of course, the biggest flaw of the movie is Nicolas Cage. His constant moronic expressions and monotone voice completely ruined the main character. Just like "Kick-Ass", he played the complete opposite of what his character was supposed to be like.

This is a great example of a movie trying to appeal to fans of a specific genre by giving them the bare minimum and masquerading it as a tribute. It left so much to be desired. It could have been "so bad, it's good," but it's just "so mediocre, it's sad".

henryeatscereal
06-19-2012, 09:11 PM
speaking of videogame-based-movies:

http://cdn.gs.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/doom-dvd.jpg

This one is bad EVEN for the Rock's standards...

thevoid99
06-19-2012, 09:40 PM
That was a terrible movie. And what a waste of a good NIN remix.

ImTheWiseJanitor
06-20-2012, 03:07 PM
Ya know, I liked The Rock in The Rundown. That was a fun movie.

That was about it, though.

wizfan
06-20-2012, 03:10 PM
I kinda like The Rock. He's one of the few wrestler actors that can act. I'm looking at you, Steve Austin.

Fixer808
06-20-2012, 03:38 PM
Ghost Rider 2 [/thread]

henryeatscereal
06-20-2012, 08:57 PM
I kinda like The Rock. He's one of the few wrestler actors that can act. I'm looking at you, Steve Austin.
I like him but he's too limited in his ranges, still he acts so much better than HHH, Austin and Hogan, i was watching Southland Tales just a few minutes ago, i like him in it

thevoid99
06-20-2012, 08:59 PM
I like him but he's too limited in his ranges, still he acts so much better than HHH, Austin and Hogan, i was watching Southland Tales just a few minutes ago, i like him in it

He and Seann William Scott were among the few things in Southland Tales that I liked. The whole film was a fucking mess.

henryeatscereal
06-20-2012, 09:09 PM
He and Seann William Scott were among the few things in Southland Tales that I liked. The whole film was a fucking mess.
It is messy but it has something i like, maybe it's the good placed music, maybe the fact that Kevin Smith, John Lovitz, The Rock and Christopher Lambert are in it, maybe im just a mark for Richard Kelly's work... i agree it's a bad movie, biut i can't stop watching it, kinda like a messy trip from Lynch...

spiralout
06-21-2012, 01:25 PM
Also, Sean Bean would have been a great Harry Mason.

Apparently he is somehow going to be Harry Mason in the sequel.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0938330/

ImTheWiseJanitor
06-21-2012, 02:30 PM
Yeah, the new movie is supposedly "based on the third game," but who knows how much it's actually gonna have to do with the game. I think He's gonna stay "Christopher De Silva." It shooould be Harry Mason, but I guess that's as close as they can get while trying to keep continuity with the first film.

Fixer808
06-21-2012, 04:04 PM
I really hate Seann William Scott, but I loved Role Models.

wizfan
06-21-2012, 07:10 PM
Speaking of wrestlers in movies:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIaWo-BlBjs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIaWo-BlBjs)

Jinsai
07-08-2012, 03:01 AM
... this is the worst movie I've ever seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSD16i4t_fY

henryeatscereal
07-08-2012, 11:44 AM
^ it does look terrible but i want to watch it, haha

october_midnight
07-08-2012, 12:29 PM
Now that the rip has leaked, my friend cannot stop asking me to watch this.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojQrhqW4hX0

I just....can't..

Conan The Barbarian
07-08-2012, 12:36 PM
Who knew DDR could be so dangerous.

Jinsai
07-08-2012, 12:40 PM
Now that the rip has leaked, my friend cannot stop asking me to watch this.
I just....can't..

is it bad that I really wanna see this? It looks hilarious

october_midnight
07-08-2012, 12:51 PM
LOL not at all...I'm alllllmost at that point. My friend Luke almost every day texts me 'We're watching the fp tonight. Get over here.' and it's...it's a 20 minute drive lol. If you watch it, please advise haha.

Jinsai
08-23-2012, 03:25 AM
I'm watching The Dictator. This movie fucking SUCKS.

How is this the same guy behind Borat and The Ali G show? Even the worst, most transparent and cheap moments of Bruno were pure comic genius compared to this.
I want my 5 dollars back.

Fuck you Sasha Baron Cohen

EDIT: and at no point does it get better. This movie fucking sucks. This is horrendous. How does this movie get made without everyone involved realizing that their project is career killing shit?

Leman Russ
08-23-2012, 07:52 AM
I'm watching The Dictator. This movie fucking SUCKS.

How is this the same guy behind Borat and The Ali G show? Even the worst, most transparent and cheap moments of Bruno were pure comic genius compared to this.
I want my 5 dollars back.

Fuck you Sasha Baron Cohen

EDIT: and at no point does it get better. This movie fucking sucks. This is horrendous. How does this movie get made without everyone involved realizing that their project is career killing shit?

Even the 'funny' bits shown in the trailers weren't funny by the time they showed up in the movie. I think I laughed once during the entire movie.

aggroculture
08-23-2012, 10:36 AM
I agree, it was unfunny. Especially the dialogue between him and the scientist guy. The speech at the end was good, but too little too late. This film was not a patch on its obvious inspiration: Chaplin's The Great Dictator.

Leman Russ
08-23-2012, 11:09 AM
That was the one part I laughed at. It was also a sigh of relief on my part, as the movie was almost over

ibanez33
08-23-2012, 11:23 AM
SHARKTOPUS

discuss.

frankie teardrop
08-23-2012, 01:23 PM
it's no shark attack 3: megalodon, that's for sure.

Leman Russ
08-23-2012, 02:08 PM
Metal Tornado. Yeah, you read that right

Jinsai
08-23-2012, 03:38 PM
That was the one part I laughed at. It was also a sigh of relief on my part, as the movie was almost over


The "imagine if America was a dictatorship" scene?
Yeah, that was clever, but by the time that rolled around, I was so pissed and irritated by the movie I couldn't even crack a smile. Such an awful movie...

Deepvoid
08-24-2012, 01:21 PM
Birdemic 2: The Resurrection.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2Trn7JCHiU

owinn
08-24-2012, 03:02 PM
THE AWAKENING. Hilariously a movie that shall send you to sleep after the first act.

Leman Russ
08-29-2012, 11:05 AM
Have any of you seen the posters for Nic Cage's new movie? He plays a guy trying to find & rescue his daughter after she was kidnapped. Sound a lot like Taken? Good, because the movie is called Stolen. I shit you not

wizfan
08-29-2012, 11:07 AM
So glad Nic finally appears in movies that match his talent.

aggroculture
08-29-2012, 11:21 AM
I've never seen Taken, but that sounds a lot like Frantic. Oh, the endless cycle of cinematic regurgitation.

hobochic
08-29-2012, 03:24 PM
Birdemic 2: The Resurrection.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2Trn7JCHiU

Looks badass. I like the top comment on youtube: "They should have called it 'Birdemic: Return of the Coat Hangers'"

RocketScience
09-03-2012, 04:01 PM
Re: Stolen, I seriously can't get over how retarded Cage looks in the poster for the film...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/eb/Stolen_film_poster.jpg

marodi
09-04-2012, 05:25 PM
I think I finally found a truly, horribly bad movie that I can hate. Fixer808 is going to be so proud of me. (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_EuHEDwCmE1I/TCkUpjDWUvI/AAAAAAAACTc/O8BxQJW9b50/s1600/pathfinder1.jpg)

aggroculture
09-06-2012, 05:36 PM
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is looking to be one for the so bad it's fucking terrible
http://www.nola.com/newsflash/index.ssf/story/the-oogieloves-in-the-big-balloon-adventure-yeah-i-saw-it/24f6d8fb98ea532151c433fbce88d67b

Fixer808
09-06-2012, 05:52 PM
I think I finally found a truly, horribly bad movie that I can hate. Fixer808 is going to be so proud of me. (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_EuHEDwCmE1I/TCkUpjDWUvI/AAAAAAAACTc/O8BxQJW9b50/s1600/pathfinder1.jpg)
Hah! Fucking Karl Urban... And I'm surprised that wasn't directed by Uwe Boll.

thevoid99
09-06-2012, 08:49 PM
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is looking to be one for the so bad it's fucking terrible
http://www.nola.com/newsflash/index.ssf/story/the-oogieloves-in-the-big-balloon-adventure-yeah-i-saw-it/24f6d8fb98ea532151c433fbce88d67b

I saw a trailer for that when I went to see Brave, I was like "who the fuck green-lit this piece of shit?" Yet, the film is now notorious for being one of the biggest box office bombs ever. Played at more than 2000 theaters in America and only made about $445,000 against a total budget (including marketing) of $60 million.

Fixer808
09-06-2012, 08:50 PM
It's like the John Carter of its generation! Wait...

ambergris
09-07-2012, 05:18 AM
I think I finally found a truly, horribly bad movie that I can hate. Fixer808 is going to be so proud of me. (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_EuHEDwCmE1I/TCkUpjDWUvI/AAAAAAAACTc/O8BxQJW9b50/s1600/pathfinder1.jpg)

Looks like someone wanted to make a movie that sort-of looked like Skyrim.

aggroculture
09-07-2012, 07:21 AM
I saw a trailer for that when I went to see Brave, I was like "who the fuck green-lit this piece of shit?" Yet, the film is now notorious for being one of the biggest box office bombs ever. Played at more than 2000 theaters in America and only made about $445,000 against a total budget (including marketing) of $60 million.

I think the main problem here is this is a kid's movie that no adult would want to sit through in the theater. When you plonk kids in front of the TV, you can do other stuff and tune it out. Here there would have been no escape.

marodi
09-07-2012, 12:41 PM
^^
Exactly. Although the bad press makes me want to see it. No way in hell I'm paying for it though.

Space Suicide
10-06-2012, 12:23 PM
http://cdn-6.nflximg.com/images/8553/1048553.jpg


Your action scenes were decent at best, your over the top profanity and major quote isn't authentic in any way, your plot was thin and uninteresting and you really bored me when I seen you.

kdrcraig
10-10-2012, 08:54 AM
The Descent: Part II

Comparing it to the awesomeness of the first one makes it one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever sat through.

Jinsai
12-06-2012, 05:04 AM
Oh wow... I just actually sat through Ghostbusters 2, and I feel somewhat traumatized... not only because I remember this being one of the first movies I saw in the theaters and loving it, or because I think part of the reason I pressured my parents into buying me that NES joystick that controlled the statue of liberty... but just because it really sucked as much as it does, and I forced myself to sit through it and pay attention today, and I hate myself for having done so.

so much for nostalgic fondness for crappy movies.

Jinsai
11-04-2014, 04:06 AM
Frozen sucks. This movie is bad. So, so, so bad.

Vertigo
11-04-2014, 05:58 AM
Haven't seen it, but can't figure out why people are so obsessed with that song.

Jinsai
11-04-2014, 01:26 PM
I didn't get to the part where the song happens. I know I'm not the target demographic for this movie, but this is just fucking awful. I've never been so glad to not have kids. Could you imagine, having to sit through this movie over and over again, and having your daughter sing the songs all day long? That sounds like hell.

Swykk
11-04-2014, 02:10 PM
--Ultraviolet might be the worst movie I've ever seen. There's nothing good about it. It's offensively bad. After delivering a masterpiece in Equilibrium, Kurt Wimmer fell far. Hot. Burning. Garbage.
--Ang Lee's The Hulk should've aired on TNT since "they know drama." Lee just didn't get The Hulk at all and made a terrible mistake. He's still a great director but this was a complete misfire.
--Is anyone more overrated than Spielberg? Nope! Cloying, cheesy, often boring. Raiders is great, Temple is fun, and...that's sort of it. Jaws is a movie about a shark where the shark is in it for seven minutes. Ditto on Jurassic Sleep. Saving Private Ryan < Blackhawk Down. It's all just kind of run of the mill, telling the same story structure in every movie. I would find him benign if he weren't so celebrated. He's better as a producer.
--Others off the top of my head: Tears Of The Sun, 30 Days Of Night, Rob Zombie's Halloween, 300, Windtalkers (WHY JOHN WOO?!!!)...I'm sure I'll add more here.

thevoid99
11-04-2014, 02:19 PM
Yesterday, I saw a film that definitely goes up there with the list of the worst films ever. Winter's Tale from the asswipe who wrote such films as The Da Vinci Code, A Beautiful Mind, and Batman & Robin. Man, this was horrible. It is truly one of the most ridiculous films I had ever seen. Will Smith as Satan is totally laughable. It has moments that is just unintentionally hilarious while it tries so, so, so hard to tug at your heartstrings. It's just fucking stupid. Never in my life did I want to see Colin Farrell get his ass kicked while Russell Crowe gives one of his worst performances ever. I would only recommend this if you need a good laugh.

Jinsai
11-04-2014, 02:32 PM
--Is anyone more overrated than Spielberg? Nope! Cloying, cheesy, often boring. Raiders is great, Temple is fun, and...that's sort of it. Jaws is a movie about a shark where the shark is in it for seven minutes. Ditto on Jurassic Sleep. Saving Private Ryan < Blackhawk Down. It's all just kind of run of the mill, telling the same story structure in every movie. I would find him benign if he weren't so celebrated. He's better as a producer.

I don't know... Schindler's List is a pretty great movie... All the Indiana Jones movies (except for Crystal Skull) are awesome. Jaws is effective because you don't see the shark for most of the movie. It actually might have been a result of technical shortcomings actually, but in the end it services the suspense.

Personally, I have a hard time watching Saving Private Ryan because it pretty much upsets me, and that's something I have a hard time saying about any movie (and I like some fucked up movies). Something about it is really viscerally intense in a realistic way that just drains me. I'm not sure if that's "good," but I'd say it's the ultimate goal for a war movie to aim for.

What about Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Empire of the Sun, and ET?

He's made some terrible films (even thinking about AI pisses me off), but even some of his maudlin overly sentimental stuff has some great moments to it. And, despite all the controversy, I thought The Color Purple was a good movie.

Vertigo
11-04-2014, 02:45 PM
Jurassic Sleep

OI!

Aside from that inexcusable piece of heresy, though, kind of agree on the Spielberg thing.

Exocet
11-04-2014, 02:52 PM
-Is anyone more overrated than Spielberg? .

He has made loads of great movies though, Minority Report, Schindlers List, E.T, Close Encounters, Empire of the Sun, Poltergiest, Catch me if You Can, Munich, Artificial Intelligence, Colour Purple. War of the Worlds is underrated. Thats an amazing filmography in itself alone.
I think his films are wonderful, grew up on them. He is like the Rhoald Dhal of cinema to me. They had a huge impact, i always feel the to defend him!
He has some unique slightly odd lighting and camera techniques too that i notice.


also.....Carrie remake is bullshit. Everything is watered down to suit morons. Totally fucking pointless, its not scary at all.

Jinsai
11-04-2014, 03:15 PM
Poltergiest

He produced it, but Tobe Hooper directed it.

Digital Twilight
11-04-2014, 03:30 PM
Southland Tales is the worst film I have ever watched. You have to see it to believe it but don't expect to make any sense of it.

Aywok
11-04-2014, 03:44 PM
--Is anyone more overrated than Spielberg? Nope! Cloying, cheesy, often boring. Raiders is great, Temple is fun, and...that's sort of it. Jaws is a movie about a shark where the shark is in it for seven minutes. Ditto on Jurassic Sleep. Saving Private Ryan < Blackhawk Down. It's all just kind of run of the mill, telling the same story structure in every movie. I would find him benign if he weren't so celebrated. He's better as a producer.

Can't argue against the producer-angle really; 'Fievel Goes West' was my 'Frozen', same with 'The Goonies'.

Honestly though, Tyler Perry and Tim Burton (except for 'Mars Attacks' and Nicholson in 'Batman').

Jinsai
11-04-2014, 03:53 PM
Tim Burton (except for 'Mars Attacks' and Nicholson in 'Batman').

Edward Scissorhands, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, Batman, and Ed Wood are all masterpieces... but especially Ed Wood. That movie is so underrated.

Also, Batman Returns has aged really well, and the recent Frankenweenie movie was awesome. Yeah, he's made some terrible movies... his versions of Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory were abominations... But I've never met someone who actually saw Ed Wood and thought it was anything less than great, and I don't know what the hell is wrong with people who don't like Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands.

eversonpoe
11-04-2014, 05:31 PM
Edward Scissorhands, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, Batman, and Ed Wood are all masterpieces... but especially Ed Wood. That movie is so underrated.

Also, Batman Returns has aged really well, and the recent Frankenweenie movie was awesome. Yeah, he's made some terrible movies... his versions of Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory were abominations... But I've never met someone who actually saw Ed Wood and thought it was anything less than great, and I don't know what the hell is wrong with people who don't like Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands.

i also love his version of sleepy hollow, despite it being (another) adaptation.

henryeatscereal
11-04-2014, 05:44 PM
Southland Tales is the worst film I have ever watched. You have to see it to believe it but don't expect to make any sense of it.
I admit its a bad movie, but i always enjoy the hell out of it!

Swykk
11-04-2014, 06:06 PM
I thought SPR was just a war movie injected with the Spielberg hokey formula. I don't care for ET but of course thought it was good as a child. Close Encounters puts me to sleep. I haven't seen EotS in a long time but I don't recall being super impressed either.
Like I said, he's either boring or sappy. And again, I don't think I'd be nearly as annoyed with him as I get if he weren't so loved.

Aywok
11-04-2014, 11:03 PM
But I've never met someone who actually saw Ed Wood and thought it was anything less than great, and I don't know what the hell is wrong with people who don't like Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands.

Alright, I'll admit I had a complete brain fart and forgot about 'Ed Wood'; I like that movie very much.

You'd have to be crazy (I know you're not) to think that I don't like Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, or Pee Wee, but Swykk had asked about directors. I didn't give proper credit to Burton's filmography, but that doesn't change my feeling that he is overrated, more so than Spielberg when you compare just their directing efforts.

Alexandros
11-05-2014, 04:14 AM
...Jaws is a movie about a shark where the shark is in it for seven minutes. Ditto on Jurassic Sleep...

I thought SPR was just a war movie injected with the Spielberg hokey formula. I don't care for ET but of course thought it was good as a child. Close Encounters puts me to sleep. I haven't seen EotS in a long time but I don't recall being super impressed either.
Like I said, he's either boring or sappy. And again, I don't think I'd be nearly as annoyed with him as I get if he weren't so loved.

I really disagree with the presence of all these movies in this thread. I can get somebody not liking them but they're definitely not in the "so bad they're bad" category. BTW, I like all of them.

Jaws...come on man, really? So you don't see the shark, so what? It's the "less is more" principle at its finest. Jurrasic Park boring? Are you trying to be cool or something? Say it's silly or ridiculous or whatever but boring?? No.

SPR is a very well made war movie and had some of the most intense sequences before "gritty" became the norm, ET is great for what it is, Close Encounters has some of the most creepy and/or amazing alien encounter sequences and EotS is visually stunning, has a great Christian Bale performance and some very memorable scenes.

Like I said, there is probably no movie that has 100% success rate with the audience, but I strongly believe that nearly all of Spielberg's films have no place in this thread.

Digital Twilight
11-05-2014, 04:25 AM
I admit its a bad movie but i always enjoy the hell out of it!

I guess you're right, there is a lot of enjoyment to be gotten from it.

Digital Twilight
11-05-2014, 04:26 AM
http://cdn-6.nflximg.com/images/8553/1048553.jpg


Your action scenes were decent at best, your over the top profanity and major quote isn't authentic in any way, your plot was thin and uninteresting and you really bored me when I seen you.

Try snakes on a train ;)

Khrz
11-05-2014, 04:41 AM
Jaws is a movie about a shark where the shark is in it for seven minutes.

And Waiting for Godot is a play where the aforementioned character is nowhere to be found. I think you missed the entire point of the movie, it wasn't sharknado...

And Ultraviolet is garbage while Equilibrium is a masterpiece ? They're the same movie !

Millionaire
11-05-2014, 06:38 AM
Anyone watch Battlefield Earth lately? Its such a huge orgasmic explosion of shit that I kinda love it.

Vertigo
11-05-2014, 06:45 AM
That's some hot imagery, Millionaire.

klang
11-05-2014, 06:54 AM
I'm still not sure if Vampire's Kiss is really bad or absolutely genius. Also, Pocahontas 2 is one the funniest, most bearable disney sequels I've forced myself to watch. Then again I was drinking at the time....
But so bad it's bad....Prometheus. I've never left a movie theater more infuriated.

Swykk
11-05-2014, 08:58 AM
I'm not "trying to be cool." Are you fucking kidding me?! Think about that assumption. I'm not 15. I probably hate hipsters more than is healthy, but I can't tolerate their lack of passion and the affectations that go with it.

I'm catching all kinds of hell for saying what I think--Spielberg is average at best. It's something I've felt for about two decades now.

Equilibrium isn't the same movie for reasons that should be obvious.

I've been a huge movie fan my entire life. I have over 1200 in my collection (filmaf.com/swykk). I'm not some ITZ GOTTA HAVE EXPLOSIONS casual movie goer. I used to do some critic work. Show some respect, for fuck's sake.

Khrz
11-05-2014, 09:15 AM
Spielberg has been average in a very efficient way for twenty years, I'd agree with that statement. Saying he has always been average and uninteresting is like saying the Beatles have always made boring pop music. You're stripping the context out of the success of a work of art, of course said success will seem unwarranted... Nowadays Spielberg runs on a formula he set up himself, so if you work backwards from now you'll see that formula everywhere in his filmography, obviously...

Alexandros
11-05-2014, 09:24 AM
Swykk No disrespect meant, my main point was that this thread is supposed to be for really bad films and I believe Spielberg's in no way fit this category. Not next to Battledield Earth type films.

henryeatscereal
11-05-2014, 10:16 AM
I guess you're right, there is a lot of enjoyment to be gotten from it.
I think Richard Kelly's movies are that way, he's able to direct some great scenes but the story at times is so-so, he's also great at picking songs for his movies. It's almost like watching a music video (and that's what i enjoy of "Southland Tales")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ7aS01JpK0

Cat Mom
11-05-2014, 01:31 PM
Jaws...come on man, really?
The late Roger Ebert, a Real Film Critic, reviewed lots of Spielberg flicks, including Jaws (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/great-movie-jaws-1975).

Here is a list of Ebert's reviews of Spielberg-directed films (http://www.rogerebert.com/cast-and-crew/steven-spielberg). Your Honor, I enter this list as "Exhibit A" and move that Spielberg be stricken from this thread.

theruiner
11-05-2014, 01:43 PM
Anyone watch Battlefield Earth lately? Its such a huge orgasmic explosion of shit that I kinda love it.It's amazingly bad but immensely enjoyable (if watched the right way). I remember renting it with a friend with the specific intention of making fun of it and we were not disappointed. It was hilarious. I have never seen so many Dutch angles in a movie in my life.

Cat Mom
11-05-2014, 01:50 PM
I didn't get to the part where the song happens. I know I'm not the target demographic for this movie, but this is just fucking awful. I've never been so glad to not have kids. Could you imagine, having to sit through this movie over and over again, and having your daughter sing the songs all day long? That sounds like hell.
I haven't seen it, yet, but my mom bought it and has been bugging me to come over and watch it with her, like some kind of girl-fest thing.

Suck movies that I watch, anyway, and they're the worst but in a hilarious way: Holiday movies back-to-back from November 1st through December 31st on the Hallmark Channel, including THIS gem:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wab6fJuoI9k

Jinsai
11-05-2014, 02:05 PM
Yeah, I agree... this isn't the "overrated movies" or "controversial opinions on movies" thread... unless you authentically feel that Spielberg is bad in a Michael Bay or Uwe Boll way... in which case, go ahead. I'll disagree, but it's opinions.

Really though, the only movie he's made that obviously deserves to be mentioned in this thread (in my opinion) is Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And AI. Fuck that movie too. But on a whole? His best movies are pretty damn good.

Swykk
11-05-2014, 02:10 PM
Battlefield Earth is low hanging fruit.

As for Ebert, sure he's universally respected, but his reviews were all over the place. It's not necessarily a bad thing but he's no god.

Striking Spielberg from this thread? So you've forgotten his truly awful stuff like Always, AI, Minority Report and goddammit, The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?!

edit: Jinsai hasn't forgotten

Khrz
11-05-2014, 02:59 PM
God, Minority Report... The Spielberg Algorithm in action...

But compared to Battlefield Earth, it's still a very skillfully executed action flick.

Even on autopilot, Spielberg is leagues above, say, Uwe Boll.

Swykk
11-05-2014, 03:14 PM
So again, is it just all going to be low hanging fruit like Boll? That's kind of easy and boring.

All Twilights, all Wayans brother parodies, are we really doing that?

Swykk
11-05-2014, 03:22 PM
Separate from this mini discussion, Richard Kelly is kind of an odd case. Donnie Darko was great and then the Director's Cut ruined it, quite frankly. It was as if he misunderstood his own movie. Southland Tales is terrible in that way where you can tell many of the actors are really trying hard to make a bloated script work.

thevoid99
11-05-2014, 03:25 PM
Separate from this mini discussion, Richard Kelly is kind of an odd case. Donnie Darko was great and then the Director's Cut ruined it, quite frankly. It was as if he misunderstood his own movie. Southland Tales is terrible in that way where you can tell many of the actors are really trying hard to make a bloated script work.

There has to be reasons into why he hasn't made a new film in quite some time. He's obviously someone where if he has editors or people who will tell what doesn't work, good things will come. I heard that the director's cut of Donnie Darko is one of those director's cuts that doesn't work while Southland Tales was just awful. I wondered why Trent backed out of the project. Probably he realized that it was going to suck.

littlemonkey613
11-05-2014, 03:28 PM
Frozen sucks. This movie is bad. So, so, so bad.

OMG THANK YOU!

Im actually a HUGE disney fan, and I love most their princess movies actually. They are typically very well done with logical scripts with great pacing.

This movie made no fucking sense, and it seemed like when writing they were just throwing ideas at the wall to see what stuck. No theme or idea was explored beyond mention and it was littered with obvious plot holes the entire time. I don't get how people actually thought it was so good.

I understand why people enjoyed it, I just don't understand how people thought it was well written or anything. I thought the characters were mostly great but stuck in a shitty movie that didn't explore their potential. And I think its bullshit that the movie wasn't even really about the sisters at all. The ending was tacked onto a movie that I didn't just see.

Jinsai
11-05-2014, 03:36 PM
So again, is it just all going to be low hanging fruit like Boll? That's kind of easy and boring.

All Twilights, all Wayans brother parodies, are we really doing that?


Well, to be fair... Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and AI were, in my opinion at least, just as shitty as anything Uwe Boll has made.

marodi
11-05-2014, 03:41 PM
Dreamcatcher is terribly, horribly bad.

Khrz
11-05-2014, 04:42 PM
Well the source material wasn't great to begin with... I lost King after Tommyknockers, and even that was really stretching it...

And I think Richard Kelly lucked out on Donnie Darko... Must be something like a Shyamalan syndrome, where a director makes a really enjoyable film, only to spiral down in mediocrity after it...

Space Suicide
11-05-2014, 06:37 PM
Try snakes on a train ;)

Thanks, I'll pass.

Cat Mom
11-05-2014, 07:59 PM
As for Ebert, sure he's universally respected, but his reviews were all over the place. It's not necessarily a bad thing but he's no god.
http://i.imgur.com/iHVPqYN.jpg

Swykk
11-05-2014, 08:16 PM
Sure. I said I respected a film critic but implied he wasn't always right. That makes me a troll...by no logic I'm aware of.

Your Name Here
11-05-2014, 08:17 PM
...............

Frozen Beach
11-05-2014, 08:18 PM
Ebert had some garbage opinions. He hated Blue Velvet because he felt Isabella Rossellini (who was a close friend) was mistreated with all that she had to do in the movie, even after Isabella told him that she was okay with everything.

Jinsai
11-05-2014, 08:44 PM
Ebert had some garbage opinions. He hated Blue Velvet because he felt Isabella Rossellini (who was a close friend) was mistreated with all that she had to do in the movie, even after Isabella told him that she was okay with everything.

Yeah... Ebert was definitely off on some things. He loved that shitty Burton's Alice in Wonderland movie, he loved Crash (the shitty one, not the Cronenberg one), he had some weird moral hangup with Kick Ass (same thing he complained about with Leon: The Professional), he liked Speed 2, he hated pretty much everything David Lynch ever did, he gave Full Metal Jacket a shitty score, while he gave the movie Junior (where Arnold Schwartzenegger gets pregnant) a near perfect score, bashed Resevoir Dogs and Brazil... He apparently didn't like The Hudsucker Proxy, Dead Man, A Clockwork Orange, or To Kill a Mockingbird, but he loved Anaconda.

and he liked The Happening...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhmEo-46vUQ

He also liked Congo... really, has anyone here seen Congo? That movie SUCKED.
He also gave BOTH of the Tomb Raider movies good scores.
Some of his opinions are just kind of baffling.

Cat Mom
11-05-2014, 09:26 PM
But, that doesn't make him any less of a FILM CRITIC LEGEND.

Even when his reviews seemed "baffling," he knew it and explained WHY. Have you read any of his film books? The guy FORGOT more than any of us know about film. Considering his THOUSANDS of film reviews, he's still a God. Far more than any of US mere stupid mortals.

He loved Mulholland Drive (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/mulholland-drive-2001).

He loved Inland Empire (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/inland-empire-2007).

He loved The Straight Story (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-straight-story-1999).

I saw "Blue Velvet" the day it came out in theaters and I hated it, too, still do. So sue me.

Oh, and he gave Reservoir Dogs a Thumbs Up in 1992 (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/reservoir-dogs-1992) so I don't know WHAT you're talking about.

Anyway, back to SHITTY MOVIES (not directors, or film critics).

I CAN'T FUCKING STAND "REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. IT SUCKS. PERIOD. IT'S OVER-THE-TOP ANTI-DRUG HYPERBOLE, LIKE REEFER MADNESS ON CRACK.

Exocet
11-05-2014, 10:15 PM
I CAN'T FUCKING STAND "REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. IT SUCKS. PERIOD. IT'S OVER-THE-TOP ANTI-DRUG HYPERBOLE, LIKE REEFER MADNESS ON CRACK.

its film about addiction, not recreational drug using, its relentlessly bleak and oh so grim but none of it is far fetched.
Ellen deserved an Oscar, as did Clint Mansell that score is so good.

kleiner
11-05-2014, 10:45 PM
I CAN'T FUCKING STAND "REQUIEM FOR A DREAM. IT SUCKS. PERIOD. IT'S OVER-THE-TOP ANTI-DRUG HYPERBOLE, LIKE REEFER MADNESS ON CRACK.

Except they make a major point of showing the mother addicted to everyday things that no one calls drugs -- television, food, etc. The film is about so much more than heroin being a bad thing, it's about the nature of extreme addiction, about what drives individuals to addiction, about the grip it takes on someone and the things that we can form addictions around. It asks the question of what counts as an addictive substance in the first place, it argues that we can develop dependencies on almost anything that creates dopamine in our heads.

And really, Reefer Madness? Reefer Madness was blatant fear-mongering about marijuana, a substance that is largely agreed on as relatively harmless. Requiem for a Dream's central drug is heroin. Heroin. I don't understand, are you implying that heroin is just as safe as marijuana? Are you saying it's not really that bad, that it doesn't harm addicts, that it has no real negative effects and that people haven't had their lives spiral out of control because of it?

And beyond just that, from a film-making technique it's above and beyond a lot of mainstream films. Clint Mansell's score is astonishing in every way (although I still would argue his Fountain score is more powerful), the cinematography is stellar and the jump-cut style used when characters ingest drugs is fantastic (as is the editing in general), the pacing is great, the way it uses colors and shifts from bright and warm tones to the harsh, stark shades towards the end, from the sets to the wardrobe to the makeup actresses wear.

Also, Ellen's performance in that film is just amazing. In general it's got some wonderful performances, but hers is heart-breakingly good. Few actresses have made me feel for them as much as she did, there was such a deep sympathy and sadness to her portrayal that it's undeniable.

If you want to argue that it's a little heavy handed or not as subtle as you'd like, fine, sure, whatever, but to devalue literally every good thing about it and in turn manage to act like saying heroin is harmful is the same as saying weed is, well, that's really ridiculous. To list it in a thread along the likes of Snakes On a Plane is just out there.

Frozen Beach
11-05-2014, 10:50 PM
I saw "Blue Velvet" the day it came out in theaters and I hated it, too, still do. So sue me.
You're missing my point.... You at least most likely have a legitimate reason for disliking it. He had a BIASED reason for it. Even his friend Isabella, who played Dorothy, thought it was a stupid reason. He let a personal reason get in the way of his judging of the film, which is unprofessional. And he never gave that film a fair critique. Any time he ever talked about it, he'd whine about how he thought it was cruel his friend had to go through scenes that she willing went through. He'd never actually talk about the film itself.

You can kiss Ebert's ass all you want, but while he may have been a notorious film critic, he had some flawed opinions, which even HE admitted.
http://i58.tinypic.com/icnwbk.jpg

Jinsai
11-05-2014, 10:52 PM
that doesn't make him any less of a FILM CRITIC LEGEND

No, of course, and these are all just subjective opinions... but when you give Junior (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/junior-1994) a higher score than The Godfather Part II (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-godfather-part-ii-1974)... that's about as close to objectively wrong that an opinion can get.

Cat Mom
11-05-2014, 11:03 PM
No, of course, and these are all just subjective opinions... but when you give Junior (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/junior-1994) a higher score than The Godfather Part II (http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-godfather-part-ii-1974)... that's about as close to objectively wrong that an opinion can get.
Look, to be fair, he wasn't even doing the same scoring system in 1972. And he just didn't like Part II relative to the original so he was making a deliberate point relative to the original. And Junior got ONE-HALF STAR MORE.

I didn't like Blue Velvet FOR PERSONAL REASONS and it doesn't matter that Rosellini gave Lynch a pass. It was gratuitous, not artistic. And Ebert had every right to base his review on "personal" reasons. It's his review. This is the same guy who loved Russ Meyer flicks. But he hated the original Brown Bunny, until Gallo reworked it so that Sevigny wasn't just blowjob whore.

We ALL have "flawed" opinions, but at least his were far more educated than ours. I didn't agree with all of his reviews. But I certainly respected them.

Cat Mom
11-05-2014, 11:27 PM
Except they make a major point of showing the mother addicted to everyday things that no one calls drugs -- television, food, etc. The film is about so much more than heroin being a bad thing, it's about the nature of extreme addiction, about what drives individuals to addiction, about the grip it takes on someone and the things that we can form addictions around. It asks the question of what counts as an addictive substance in the first place, it argues that we can develop dependencies on almost anything that creates dopamine in our heads.

And really, Reefer Madness? Reefer Madness was blatant fear-mongering about marijuana, a substance that is largely agreed on as relatively harmless. Requiem for a Dream's central drug is heroin. Heroin. I don't understand, are you implying that heroin is just as safe as marijuana? Are you saying it's not really that bad, that it doesn't harm addicts, that it has no real negative effects and that people haven't had their lives spiral out of control because of it?

And beyond just that, from a film-making technique it's above and beyond a lot of mainstream films. Clint Mansell's score is astonishing in every way (although I still would argue his Fountain score is more powerful), the cinematography is stellar and the jump-cut style used when characters ingest drugs is fantastic (as is the editing in general), the pacing is great, the way it uses colors and shifts from bright and warm tones to the harsh, stark shades towards the end, from the sets to the wardrobe to the makeup actresses wear.

Also, Ellen's performance in that film is just amazing. In general it's got some wonderful performances, but hers is heart-breakingly good. Few actresses have made me feel for them as much as she did, there was such a deep sympathy and sadness to her portrayal that it's undeniable.

If you want to argue that it's a little heavy handed or not as subtle as you'd like, fine, sure, whatever, but to devalue literally every good thing about it and in turn manage to act like saying heroin is harmful is the same as saying weed is, well, that's really ridiculous. To list it in a thread along the likes of Snakes On a Plane is just out there.

Sorry, not buying it, particularly Burstyn's electroshock therapy shit. As someone who's lived among actual addicts for many years, including heroin, and as somebody who's personally ingested a boatload of illicit drugs, that movie is a War on Drugs ad (ala Reefer Madness) with some other "morality lessons." If the score was done by Danny Elfman and the flick was directed by Spike Jonez, you guys would never be fapping over yourselves. It's a crappy book adaptation. By the end of it, I wanted to shoot my television. Heavy-handed is an understatement.

Oddly enough, Ebert loved it, lol.

(Roeper hated it.)

WorzelG
11-06-2014, 12:09 AM
The reviews of the Wicker Man remake are so bad it makes me want to watch it

kleiner
11-06-2014, 12:46 AM
The reviews of the Wicker Man remake are so bad it makes me want to watch it

That's in the so bad it's good category. Here are some highlights:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

If you like things like The Room, Troll 2, Birdemic, etc. I'd definitely recommend it.

WorzelG
11-06-2014, 02:13 AM
That's in the so bad it's good category. Here are some highlights:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

If you like things like The Room, Troll 2, Birdemic, etc. I'd definitely recommend it.
Oh my God this has gone up to a must watch, I was laughing all through that

Jinsai
11-06-2014, 02:18 AM
The Wicker Man remake is such a bizarre thing.

The ending of the original still authentically disturbs me every time I watch it though.

eversonpoe
11-06-2014, 08:47 AM
The reviews of the Wicker Man remake are so bad it makes me want to watch it

also, if you're into it, watch it with rifftrax. it really just enhances the experience. and most of the riffs are A+.

aggroculture
11-06-2014, 09:07 AM
I also dislike Requiem for a Dream for the same reason I dislike Trainspotting. Except Trainspotting is a much better movie.
I remember when I first saw Trainspotting: my reaction was "I want to try heroin." (I was a teenager, and I didn't)
Yeah everyone always says "but the baby scene makes it clear the film is anti-drugs." Sorry, no.
Both films glamorize and glorify hard drugs as having the time of your life: so what if it's not a happy ending. I don't think just because bad things happen this negates the overall romanticization of drugs going on here.

I think Trainspotting is a good movie: doesn't make it one I am morally comfortable with - the same goes for pretty much all serial killer movies too. I think they are morally reprehensible.

Requiem for a Dream however is crap, and Aronofsky is totally overrated. Black Swan was a cliched pile of shit.
The only movie I like by him is The Fountain. (have not see The Wrestler or Noah; though I would check out The Wrestler).