Shitty Movies - So bad, they're bad

[Swykk]

I loved Trainspotting and Black Swan, which I felt was a love letter to Dario Argento when he was great.

[Swykk]

You just made my point for me and contradicted that silly troll accusation. We do all have opinions. I'm not accusing you of anything because you hate Blue Velvet even if I don't understand. I was in no way disrespectful of Roger Ebert.

[Swykk]

I might be setting myself up for more damage here, but I didn't care for Bridesmaids and don't get the appeal of Melissa McCarthy at all. I find her annoying and unfunny. I laughed two times during Bridesmaids. It's a shame because Paul Feig did Freaks And Geeks as well as Undeclared, both classic TV shows canceled prematurely. The Heat was just bad. I have zero desire to see Tammy or that movie she did with Jason Bateman.

[allegro]

I might be setting myself up for more damage here, but I didn't care for Bridesmaids and don't get the appeal of Melissa McCarthy at all. I find her annoying and unfunny. I laughed two times during Bridesmaids. It's a shame because Paul Feig did Freaks And Geeks as well as Undeclared, both classic TV shows canceled prematurely. The Heat was just bad. I have zero desire to see Tammy or that movie she did with Jason Bateman.

I totally agree, I thought Bridesmaids was crap and McCarthy is a one-note comedian.

(p.s. troll came from trying to include all Spielberg flicks in the Shit Film thread, which would ultimately derail this thread and it would become the Spielberg Thread. The Ebert troll was sarcasm.)

[Khrz]

I might be setting myself up for more damage here, but I didn't care for Bridesmaids and don't get the appeal of Melissa McCarthy at all.

I actually very seldom like american comedy films... Just not my kind of humor, it's all constructed around awkwardness exclusively, which I quickly find tiring... Which is weird, because american comedic series are pretty much the same, but I love many of those... Guess the format makes it a lot more bearable ? I didn't care for huge successes like Superbad, The Hangover, Bridesmaids or 40 Year Old Virgin...

[WorzelG]

I also dislike Requiem for a Dream for the same reason I dislike Trainspotting. Except Trainspotting is a much better movie.
I remember when I first saw Trainspotting: my reaction was "I want to try heroin." (I was a teenager, and I didn't)
Yeah everyone always says "but the baby scene makes it clear the film is anti-drugs." Sorry, no.
Both films glamorize and glorify hard drugs as having the time of your life: so what if it's not a happy ending. I don't think just because bad things happen this negates the overall romanticization of drugs going on here.

I think Trainspotting is a good movie: doesn't make it one I am morally comfortable with - the same goes for pretty much all serial killer movies too. I think they are morally reprehensible. .
I have a pharmacist friend who worked in a big high street shop and had to dole out methodone to junkies before the shops opened, they used to leave their syringes in the toilets. She HATED trainspotting for that very reason and would go on about how fucked up the junkies were, and they weren't making witty soliloquies the whole time

[Khrz]

I have a pharmacist friend who worked in a big high street shop and had to dole out methodone to junkies before the shops opened, they used to leave their syringes in the toilets. She HATED trainspotting for that very reason and would go on about how fucked up the junkies were, and they weren't making witty soliloquies the whole time

Well, neither do cops nor did gangsters... Accuracy isn't what fiction is about, I understand how frustrating it is for the people in the field actually dealing with the real shit, but if people wanted documentaries, Michael Bay would be filming antelopes.

[henryeatscereal]

Requiem for a Dream however is crap, and Aronofsky is totally overrated. Black Swan was a cliched pile of shit.
The only movie I like by him is The Fountain. (have not see The Wrestler or Noah; though I would check out The Wrestler).
I agree: "Requiem" is a very overrated movie, still Aronofsky is a good director, i love The Wrestler, Black Swan (agree with Swykk on the "Argento love letter") and The Fountain. Even "Pi" is a very interesting piece, frankly it bores me at moments but i think it's worth seeing at least once.
I understand if people don't like him but i would call his movies EVERYTHING but shitty (maybe overrated is a better term...)

[Jinsai]

I like Requiem for a Dream. It's more about addiction than drugs, and unlike Reefer Madness, it's not entirely wrong and intentionally misleading.

You could say it's melodramatic, and I might agree. But the movie is incredibly effective.

And Jennifer Connelly.

[allegro]

I like Requiem for a Dream. It's more about addiction than drugs, and unlike Reefer Madness, it's not entirely wrong and intentionally misleading.
Oh yeah? How many junkies do you know whose arms have been amputated (who aren't dead first from ODing)? How many old ladies on Medicare (or anybody, for that matter) on speed do you know who've been committed, let alone forced to experience electroshock therapy? (If he'd made her addicted to Valium, it'd be more realistic.) Why did those guys drive all the way to Florida to buy heroin? Isn't there a LOT of heroin in NYC? Do you realize how cheap heroin is? Jennifer Connelly, yeah, butt to butt was so important to obtaining cheap drugs (or drawing people to the movie). It's all a Ridiculously Stylized Cautionary Tale of Bullshit.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/entertainment/movies/reviews/requiemforadreamhunter.htm

[Frozen Beach]

I didn't like Blue Velvet FOR PERSONAL REASONS and it doesn't matter that Rosellini gave Lynch a pass. It was gratuitous, not artistic. And Ebert had every right to base his review on "personal" reasons. It's his review. This is the same guy who loved Russ Meyer flicks. But he hated the original Brown Bunny, until Gallo reworked it so that Sevigny wasn't just blowjob whore.

Thank you for responding to me, yet not actually quoting my post so I'd know you were responding to me.


and it doesn't matter that Rosellini gave Lynch a pass.
It fucking does matter. Who the fuck is Roger Ebert to tell Rossellini who she's suppose to star as? He's not her fucking manager. And of course the film has scenes that would seem gratuitous, it's about a god damn psychopath and how small towns aren't always so innocent. It's about the underbelly where a kid who's practically a voyeur looks into a fucked up situation only to realize it's more fucked up than he originally thought. If anything, the disturbing content, which you said was gratuitous, is there to make the audience relate to the character in disgust.


And Ebert had every right to base his review on "personal" reasons. It's his review.
His job is to review a film. He didn't review the film, he reviewed the production of the film, which is him not doing his job.

[allegro]

First, I mostly respond using Tapatalk on a tiny phone so quoting multi-part quotes is too hard for me.

Second, I wasn't only responding to you, you weren't the only one who commented about this. Look, go dig up Roger Ebert and discuss it with him so we don't derail this thread so that it becomes the Roger Ebert Blue Velvet thread.

Discuss this with him: http://www.rogerebert.com/interviews/my-problem-with-blue-velvet

[Frozen Beach]

I wasn't only responding to you, you weren't the only one who commented about this.
This part here:


I didn't like Blue Velvet FOR PERSONAL REASONS and it doesn't matter that Rosellini gave Lynch a pass. It was gratuitous, not artistic. And Ebert had every right to base his review on "personal" reasons. It's his review. This is the same guy who loved Russ Meyer flicks. But he hated the original Brown Bunny, until Gallo reworked it so that Sevigny wasn't just blowjob whore.

was clearly a response to my post because it responded to statements I made. You could have easily copy and pasted a quote of my post in your post.



Look, go dig up Roger Ebert and discuss it with him so we don't derail this thread so that it becomes the Roger Ebert Blue Velvet thread.

Discuss this with him: http://www.rogerebert.com/interviews/my-problem-with-blue-velvet
Wow, how "cute" of you.

[allegro]

Why are you being so mean and angry about this? You can't see his point at all? As a female, I can. I think that's a brilliantly-written, thoughtful piece.

Also, it doesn't matter if I quote you, you still read it. No, I can't always quote, I can't always see to quote. If you start poking fun of my vision, now, then we're done.

[Frozen Beach]

Why are you being so mean and angry about this?
I'm not necessarily angry. However, I am admittedly frustrated because some of the things you say are just beyond my comprehension. Usually, I'm able to put myself in somebody elses place and see their perspective, but on this, I can't. Your arguments just literally don't make sense to me.



You can't see his point at all? As a female, I can. I think that's a brilliantly-written, thoughtful piece.
No, not really.


Also, it doesn't matter if I quote you, you still read it.
It does matter. When you quote someone, it notifies them that someone responded to your post. I glanced over your comment a few times because I assumed it had nothing to do with me. The only reason why I read it is because my computer froze on it. If it wasn't for that, chances are I would have never known you responded to me.

[allegro]

Again, as much as you wanted me to only respond to you, I was really only talking to Jinsai. Because I always only respond to Jinsai. I read ALL the posts, but I only respond to Jinsai. And to Digital Chaos.

[Frozen Beach]

Again, as much as you wanted me to only respond to you, I was really only talking to Jinsai.
Funny, because you were referring to things that Jinsai never even mentioned about Blue Velvet. I was the one who brought up the Isabella Rossellini thing. I was the one who said he had a personal bias against the film. You clearly responded to these things, but now you're denying that you were responding to me? And I never said you had to respond to just me. You do realize can quote multiple people in a post, right?

[allegro]

I've been here since Jan. of 2004. Yup.

[WorzelG]

Discuss this with him: http://www.rogerebert.com/interviews/my-problem-with-blue-velvet
I want to pat him on the shoulder and say 'there there it's just pretend'

[thevoid99]

Ebert was notorious for not liking some great movies but when it did come to bad movies, he was pretty much a master when it came to trashing a film:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=982R2eAhL54

[Charmingly Miserable]

I'm not really into horror movies so I thought I would take a chance on The Human Centipede. Ugh. What a disaster.

[allegro]

Ebert was notorious for not liking some great movies but when it did come to bad movies, he was pretty much a master when it came to trashing a film
Maybe I'm more of a huge Ebert fan from WAYYYY back because I'm in Chicago, I read his Sun-Times column daily, I read many of his books (including his hot pot cook book) but I still miss him a LOT. :-(

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IQfk6ZpRp4c

[Swykk]

I think that's exactly it. He wasn't consistent. No decent critic is. See: Armond White or Devin Faraci. Both are fucking horrid to the extent where they think they're playing up their "character." Ebert was not one of these fools but also was far from perfect.

[Baphomette]

Maybe I'm more of a huge Ebert fan from WAYYYY back because I'm in Chicago.I lived in Chicago for a few years and I still seriously disliked Ebert (and most of his reviews). Siskel, however, I respected and adored. He saw things in films that Ebert missed completely (eg., the brilliance of "Babe 2: Pig in the City.")

I tried watching "Audrey Rose" the other day but fell asleep a quarter of the way through.

[allegro]

I loved Siskel, too. But I loved Ebert's writing more than Siskel's.

It sure was fun watching them fight!!

Ebert's memoir is awesome. His daily blog posts were awesome. (http://www.rogerebert.com/rogers-journal/books-do-furnish-a-mind) His daily columns were awesome. Ugh, I even miss his Twitter comments. :-(

[Jinsai]

holy fucking hell...

The newest remake of Carrie is actually worse than the low budget one that came out a short while back... it's actually worse than the shitty sequel.

At least those movies got the fucking point. How can you have the audacity to "remake" a story if you don't even get the basic concepts of what made it work in the first place? How do these fucking people have jobs? Also, stop trying to pretend that you're reinterpreting the book... you stole the crucifixion ending from the movie, so just own up and admit that you're remaking the fucking movie.

Carrie doing her telekinetic ninjutsu in this movie is hilarious, but at what point did everyone involved stop even trying to do the story justice?

Also, fuck you, the nice friendly well-intentioned gym teacher NEEDS to die! Your story doesn't function if she doesn't die! She's the tragic consequence of trying to have good intentions! You don't throw in a stupid shot of her crying, and just completely decimate her purpose in the narrative just to make people feel good that she made it out ok.

Hamlet might as well get up at the end of the final act and say "actually, no, I'm feeling ok, I was just kind of tired there for a moment."

I'm not sure, but this may be the worst film I've ever seen.

[elevenism]

why is carrie being remade over and over anyway? i don't understand, Jinsai .

i watched a movie called Shadow People today that was really awful. and i was quite excited about it. it is a very interesting subject.

[GulDukat]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KDq_VDserc
Love this movie, but it's soooooo bad.

[thevoid99]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KDq_VDserc
Love this movie, but it's soooooo bad.

As bad as it is. It's still quite funny. Especially for Hollywood.

[Khrz]

holy fucking hell...

The newest remake of Carrie is actually worse than the low budget one that came out a short while back...

Also : Carrie. Is. Not. Fucking. Cute.

Carrie's an awkward, overweight redhead covered with freckles, she doesn't know how to socialize, the guys don't look at her, the girls love to hate her, and everyone's just too happy to have that fat and ugly girl around to vent their insecurities and frustration.

If she was cute, she'd merely be invisible, ignored. She wishes she was, but she's not.
Making her a cute teen destroys the whole character.

[GulDukat]

As bad as it is. It's still quite funny. Especially for Hollywood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Knav2FUJQgE
Very bad...like a jelly doughnut that calls for you in the middle of the night and goes right to your thighs.

[eversonpoe]

we watched Get Over It the other night. another in a series of late 90s/early 00s based on a famous play/piece of literature (in this case, a midsummer night's dream) that also manages to put on a ridiculous musical version of that play within the movie.
it was so goofy and hilarious and terrible and we loved it.
martin short as the flamboyant drama teacher? sisquo as one of the best friends? vitamin C in a musical number during the opening credits? shane west with an insanely terrible accent? zoe saldana as the bitchy best friend? YES PLEASE!

[Vertigo]

AHHHH I've been trying to remember the name of that film for years. You have my eternal gratitude eversonpoe (well, for the next five minutes, after which I will likely have forgotten).

[thevoid99]

we watched Get Over It the other night. another in a series of late 90s/early 00s based on a famous play/piece of literature (in this case, a midsummer night's dream) that also manages to put on a ridiculous musical version of that play within the movie.
it was so goofy and hilarious and terrible and we loved it.
martin short as the flamboyant drama teacher? sisquo as one of the best friends? vitamin C in a musical number during the opening credits? shane west with an insanely terrible accent? zoe saldana as the bitchy best friend? YES PLEASE!

I remember that movie. I didn't like it. Shane West butchering "Alison" w/ that smug and awful accent just makes me want to beat the shit out of him even more.

[Jinsai]

I'm watching some movie on Netflix called "Haunter." I can't remember who recommended this to me... but.... this movie sucks. It's a tween horror remix of Groundhog Day.

If you were living the same day of your life everyday, would you put on the same Siouxsie and the Banshees shirt every morning?

edit: actually this movie gets a lot better. My bad. It's not great, but it definitely doesn't belong in this thread.
edit2: nevermind... this sucks.... yawn...

Why do stories involving hauntings and ghosts feel the need to over-explain everything? NOBODY CARES.

[eversonpoe]

I'm watching some movie on Netflix called "Haunter." I can't remember who recommended this to me... but.... this movie sucks. It's a tween horror remix of Groundhog Day.

If you were living the same day of your life everyday, would you put on the same Siouxsie and the Banshees shirt every morning?

edit: actually this movie gets a lot better. My bad. It's not great, but it definitely doesn't belong in this thread.
edit2: nevermind... this sucks.... yawn...

Why do stories involving hauntings and ghosts feel the need to over-explain everything? NOBODY CARES.

hey, i liked that movie! a lot, actually. i didn't mind the over-explanation, i thought it was interesting.

[Dr Channard]

Just watched Yellowbrickroad. Boy, was it a turd!

[elevenism]

i LOVED haunter.

i just wanted it to be longer. i thought that more could have been done with it.

[Jinsai]

ok... Alice in Wonderland (via Tim Burton) came on TV just now, and I decided to give it another chance, primarily because I don't remember much about the movie, just that I fucking hated it.

This is the worst movie I've ever seen. The worst. There is nothing I've seen that aggravates me more, or makes me so desperately wish I was doing something else other than watch it. I have watched shitty student films, and this piece of shit makes those look like masterpieces. This is so terrible, everyone involved should be pleading for forgiveness. I can't believe they made a sequel. They should have known they lucked out there, but I guess marketing green lighting is still stupider than you'd expect.

But seriously, I hate this movie so much I dislike people who like it.

[Khrz]

It came on TV a few days ago and I watched it out of curiosity, just like you, and once again I was amazed at how, with such a production, it just falls flat on its face in every way.
I love Bobby Chiu's work, and on the paper his work for Alice in the creature department is as great as ever, but it just doesn't work, the characters never really seem to live in the same world, they don't seem to have any reality, relative to each other. The environments are conceptually gorgeous, but once again they never make you feel anything, they're just being pretty backgrounds.
The story isn't engaging in any way, Depp is being Deppish, Bonham Carter is BonhamCartering away, and the rest of the cast is just forgiveable, trying to fill empty characters.
That film is filled to the brim with awesomeness, and never ever delivers, it just drags along until it ends.
It's actually impressive, in a way.

[Jinsai]

especially when the "climax" involves Depp dancing around... I love the Alice books.... Especially the second.. they were my introduction to psychedelic concepts. This movie doesn't just piss on it, it does horrible things to the foundation of what it was supposed to deliver that are so raunchy and objectionable that I can't even call them out. Fuck you Tim Burton, Disney, and everyone else involved in this abomination.

[Khrz]

They basically treated Caroll's witty and challenging world like it was just a zany LSD-induced clusterfuck. What's weird (or isn't, depending on your opinion about Burton's filmography) is that the guy's renowned for putting a surrealistic twist on banal situations, yet he just couldn't (or wasn't allowed to ?) handle Alice's story and made that world completely pedestrian instead.

[wizfan]

Speaking of Burton-bashing, I know I'm in the minority, but I absolutely despised Sweeney Todd. I get what they were trying to do, and I know that the musical is considered a classic, but I didn't even like the songs. I would have appreciated their cheesiness if they weren't presented in such a pretentious look-at-me-I'm-so-goth way. I hated almost all of the characters, and even seeing them being brutally murdered didn't do it for me. I guess I could watch one of the taped Broadway performances of the musical itself, but... eeeeh, I don't know. For all its atmosphere and gore, it eventually became a one-note movie, and one note I got sick of hearing. It was clear to me that Burton was doing "dark" and "goth" and shit just because, by that point, he was supposed to be doing stuff this way. Edward Scissorhands managed to be hauntingly beautiful without having every single frame painted in drab digital colors. I did like that one moment when Todd and that Bonham Carter character imagined a better future for themselves. I don't know. Maybe if it was more... fun? It had several attempts at dark humor, like with Sacha Baron Cohen's character, but I didn't even crack a smile.

I'd rather watch Ben Affleck, Raquel Castro and George Carlin recreate Sweeney Todd all day long. There.

[thevoid99]

I'd rather watch Ben Affleck, Raquel Castro and George Carlin recreate Sweeney Todd all day long. There.

You know something. While I didn't think the film was that bad but.... it wasn't great either and for some reason. I have to agree with you. That little moment in Jersey Girl was actually funny and also cute in a macabre kind of way. The reaction alone from the audience made it even funnier. Wow, this is kind of controversial indeed.

Speaking of shit films. I recently watched the film version of Entourage and wow...

I used to be a fan of the show but I do think it dropped the ball at the end of the fifth season and it never became good since. The film version is just like the last season with steroids but it also has this air of misogyny and decadence that just makes me feel ill. It is like Sex & the City 2 for guys except whereas that film opens with a gay wedding. This film ends with a gay wedding and man, I really hated everything about it. Plus, what fucking studio would greenlight a passion project for Jessica Alba? She can't act for shit and, other than Sin City, has she ever been in a good movie?

[implanted_microchip]

You know something. While I didn't think the film was that bad but.... it wasn't great either and for some reason. I have to agree with you. That little moment in Jersey Girl was actually funny and also cute in a macabre kind of way. The reaction alone from the audience made it even funnier. Wow, this is kind of controversial indeed.


I know that I have a very hard time hating Jersey Girl because of a lot of the same reasons I have a hard time hating Kevin Smith which is that, ultimately, they both have very large hearts and you can see them both beating constantly.

There's a warmth and sincerity, or, at least, a very genuine attempt at it in that film that I really enjoy and connect to emotionally that keeps me from condemning it, really. It's Ben Affleck before he was who he is today and it has a sort of disjointed messiness about it, or, bare minimum, an honest lack of solid focus and purpose to it, but it still feels sincere. It feels like there's something there it's really trying to be or to communicate and that general sense of "it's technically not amazing but there's an honesty there that I can't deny" is a feeling I have gotten from most of Smith's films and I value that a lot more than I do technical achievement but a lack of an honest heartbeat. I still hold that his worst movie is by far Cop Out and that is very much a movie without a soul, something that, besides all else, I think most of his movies do possess, even if they can sometimes seem to get in the way of themselves (for instance a movie like Red State seemed like something got held back that prevented what could've been an honest masterpiece, at least compared to his other work, and part of that might have been the sheer earnestness of it and dying need to be the thing it wants so desperately to be).

I think Burton on the other hand has, since everything post-Big Fish, been an entirely soulless director who makes artificially pretty movies that crumble beneath any degree of scrutiny. He sells his films off as magical when for him there is clearly no magic. Big Fish has a soul and a genuine heart that lets that imagery and that magical style flourish. Pee-Wee's Big Adventure has a heart and a childlike innocence and purity to it that makes his style work, and the character of Pee-Wee provides a massive heartbeat for it. But something like ... well, anything he's done in the last twelve years is just all artifice to my eyes. That's about the worst thing any artist can be for me.

[Jinsai]

I think Burton on the other hand has, since everything post-Big Fish, been an entirely soulless director who makes artificially pretty movies that crumble beneath any degree of scrutiny.

I actually really loved Frankenweenie, and I thought Corpse Bride was ok. I didn't see Big Eyes but I've heard split opinions on it. At the same time, I feel like I'm the only person out there who really didn't like Big Fish. I definitely feel like he peaked with Ed Wood, which is by far my favorite movie he's made.

But now, after watching Alice in Wonderland again, I'm going to have to reconsider everything I liked about anything he's made. That movie somehow taints it all.

[implanted_microchip]

I actually really loved Frankenweenie, and I thought Corpse Bride was ok. I didn't see Big Eyes but I've heard split opinions on it. At the same time, I feel like I'm the only person out there who really didn't like Big Fish. I definitely feel like he peaked with Ed Wood, which is by far my favorite movie he's made.

But now, after watching Alice in Wonderland again, I'm going to have to reconsider everything I liked about anything he's made. That movie somehow taints it all.
I didn't see Franken (I stay away from most of his stuff at this point) but it wouldn't surprise me if it works since that was a short of his when he was younger that I know he was extremely passionate about. I remember him spending a lot of the Big Fish commentary referencing it even, which only builds my opinion on his filmography more -- when he has some heart in it he can make really engaging magical stuff, but when he doesn't it feels like wallpaper that you could poke a hole through at any moment.

[Jinsai]

it's really hard to believe the same guy made Frankenweenie and Planet of the Apes. I think it was really overlooked because of Burton-burnout.

[wizfan]

it's really hard to believe the same guy made Frankenweenie and Planet of the Apes. I think it was really overlooked because of Burton-burnout.

I think Frankenweenie was overlooked because a) it was in black-and-white (not the best thing to sell to kids) and b) it had to compete with two other Halloween-themed animated movies (ParaNorman and Hotel Transylvania) and ultimately lost the battle. Still haven't seen it, by the way.

[Jinsai]

I think Frankenweenie was overlooked because a) it was in black-and-white (not the best thing to sell to kids) and b) it had to compete with two other Halloween-themed animated movies (ParaNorman and Hotel Transylvania) and ultimately lost the battle. Still haven't seen it, by the way.

Ok, and good points (and ParaNorman was an incredible movie... didn't see the other), but go see Frankenweenie. It's really great

[ImTheWiseJanitor]

Against my best wishes, I'm starting the day watching Prince of Persia while I eat breakfast. Apparently, when you grow up as a middle-eastern orphan raised by the Persian king, your english accent not only remains prominent, but becomes MORE Christian Bale-esque with time. Along with the voice of every character with screen time. I'm 9 minutes in and I'd already rather die of dehydration.

Ubisoft, please, PLEASE, for the fucking love of fuck, don't completely ruin Assassin's Creed. My advice for anyone curious to see this movie out of curiosity - Don't. You're good.

[bobbie solo]

echoing the opinions that Paranorman & Frankenweenie are excellent movies. And believe me, they have heart aplenty.

[thevoid99]

Here's a recent bad film I saw. Accidental Love aka the film formerly once known as Nailed by David O. Russell. Wow, this is an example of what happens when a production gets fucked when the money goes away, comes back, and goes away again. A story that could've had potential but instead, it goes to shit as it's got a bland look and it was obvious that whoever was in charge of the editing really did a shoddy job. Many of the actors looked bad and it didn't know what it wanted to be. No wonder Russell wanted no part with the final product as I'm sure the experience of making it was bad enough.

[Jinsai]

Holy shit... do NOT see Rings. I would rather watch the evil cursed VHS tape than sit through the rest of that movie... So incredibly bad.

[eversonpoe]

Holy shit... do NOT see Rings. I would rather watch the evil cursed VHS tape than sit through the rest of that movie... So incredibly bad.

my friend randall had to see it (and review it) for CoS. he did not like it (http://consequenceofsound.net/2017/02/film-review-rings/).

[Jinsai]

my friend randall had to see it (and review it) for CoS. he did not like it (http://consequenceofsound.net/2017/02/film-review-rings/).
He gave it a D? He's being generous.

I never walk out of a movie I paid to see... I only saw this because it looked like a good way to kill the time while the Apple geniuses fixed my phone screen after my dogs decided to chew it up. After a little less than an hour, I opted to just walk around and wait outside for them to hurry up and fix it already. Also, it was raining. Fuck that movie.

[Sutekh]

Speaking of Burton-bashing, I know I'm in the minority, but I absolutely despised Sweeney Todd. I get what they were trying to do, and I know that the musical is considered a classic, but I didn't even like the songs. I would have appreciated their cheesiness if they weren't presented in such a pretentious look-at-me-I'm-so-goth way. I hated almost all of the characters, and even seeing them being brutally murdered didn't do it for me. I guess I could watch one of the taped Broadway performances of the musical itself, but... eeeeh, I don't know. For all its atmosphere and gore, it eventually became a one-note movie, and one note I got sick of hearing. It was clear to me that Burton was doing "dark" and "goth" and shit just because, by that point, he was supposed to be doing stuff this way. Edward Scissorhands managed to be hauntingly beautiful without having every single frame painted in drab digital colors. I did like that one moment when Todd and that Bonham Carter character imagined a better future for themselves. I don't know. Maybe if it was more... fun? It had several attempts at dark humor, like with Sacha Baron Cohen's character, but I didn't even crack a smile.

I'd rather watch Ben Affleck, Raquel Castro and George Carlin recreate Sweeney Todd all day long. There.

Minority? Everything he has done since mars attacks has been total shit...

So glad I don't socialise much outside my elite circle of chin strokers

[thevoid99]

Minority? Everything he has done since mars attacks has been total shit...

So glad I don't socialise much outside my elite circle of chin strokers

What about Superman Lives? The Superman movie that never got off the ground. I think it would've been a game-changer for Burton and probably have him make better films instead of the films he's made since Mars Attacks.

[Jinsai]

Minority? Everything he has done since mars attacks has been total shit...

No way... Corpse Bride was pretty cool, and Frankenweenie was amazing. I'd also say that Ed Wood was by far the best movie he ever made, though Edward Scissorhands comes close.

[Sutekh]

@thevoid99 (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=254) never read the script, but a film that never got made is damming with faint praise in my book
@Jinsai (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=272) agreed, ed wood was his best film, but that was 2-3 years before mars attacks. Also agreed it is a near tie with scissorhands. For me, ed wood proved he was talented - his other films had that heavily stylised bo welch type production design, but ed wood proved he could still deliver with a real world setting. Admittedly it was in a fifties period setting so it does have that sort of hyperreality, but still

Wasn't a massive fan of corpse bride, actually frankenweenie was pretty decent, but a remake of an earlier film, so he gets half a point. I just really hate the cutesy goth aesthetic. His post mars attacks stuff feels like self parody.

[Your Name Here]

Cloud Atlas sucked balls, I fucking hated that movie.

[eversonpoe]

@thevoid99 (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=254) never read the script, but a film that never got made is damming with faint praise in my book
@Jinsai (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=272) agreed, ed wood was his best film, but that was 2-3 years before mars attacks. Also agreed it is a near tie with scissorhands. For me, ed wood proved he was talented - his other films had that heavily stylised bo welch type production design, but ed wood proved he could still deliver with a real world setting. Admittedly it was in a fifties period setting so it does have that sort of hyperreality, but still

Wasn't a massive fan of corpse bride, actually frankenweenie was pretty decent, but a remake of an earlier film, so he gets half a point. I just really hate the cutesy goth aesthetic. His post mars attacks stuff feels like self parody.

frankenweenie was a full-length stop-motion remake of a live-action short...so it's more of an adaptation than a remake. and i LOVED it.

hadn't seen ed wood until...last year? fucking phenomenal. also hilarious piece of trivia: tim burton was so unhappy with vincent d'onofrio's orson welles impression that he had maurice lamarche (nibbler from futurama, brain from pinky & the brain) overdub his voice.

[Sutekh]

Any movie that features Korla Pandit as a character - however briefly - deserves top marks

[Louie_Cypher]

i was looking @ the returns for yesterday's super bowl adds and I thought of a new idea, how to troll the president for fun and profit
-louie

[sentient]

Nocturnal Animals was one of the most wasteful 2 hours since Random Hearts.

[bobbie solo]

Did you not get the ending? Or did you really just not like it? I thought it was pretty great overall with lots of good performances (Kick Ass kid, Gyllenhaal & Michael Shannon especially), and a different way to end that kind of story.

[eversonpoe]

last night, we watched (with rifftrax, thank goodness) what is possibly the WORST movie we've ever watched - Samurai Cop (http://www.rifftrax.com/samurai-cop)

can't wait to watch the sequel that came out two years ago, featuring Tommy Wiseau, Bai Ling (from The Crow), and a bunch of porn stars

[elevenism]

Did you not get the ending? Or did you really just not like it? I thought it was pretty great overall with lots of good performances (Kick Ass kid, Gyllenhaal & Michael Shannon especially), and a different way to end that kind of story.
i agree. i thought Nocturnal Animals was fucking stunning.
I think it was probably Michael Shannon's best work.

[imail724]

Minority? Everything he has done since mars attacks has been total shit... Granted I haven't seen it in more than 10 years, but wasn't Big Fish pretty good? Other than that I completely agree with you though.

[sentient]

Did you not get the ending? Or did you really just not like it? I thought it was pretty great overall with lots of good performances (Kick Ass kid, Gyllenhaal & Michael Shannon especially), and a different way to end that kind of story.

I watched and got through it only because of Shannon. Everything else felt derivative and dull. The ending was expected and a let down because it was so expected.

[Space Suicide]

This thread works for tv shows too right?

I kept Fox on after X Files and the latest Ryan Murphy show, 9-1-1, came on and I must say...

What an absolutely horrid and absolutely idiotic portrayal of first responders and safety enforcement drama I have ever seen. If I was a policeman, firefighter, 911 operator or paramedic I'd be appalled by this show.

I also read it got renewed for a 2nd season. Who? How? Why?

[wizfan]

The House (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4481514/). Jesus. Yeah, I know that it follow the mold of movies like Office Christmas Party, where the actors essentially improvise around an extremely thin plot and then the supposedly funniest bits are edited together into some kind of "comedy", but at least these "comedies" usually have some competent directing. The House was fucking terribly directed, written and edited. And unspeakably unfunny. Not even the outtakes at the end were funny. Will and Amy, you have reached a new low point in your filmography.

[Haysey_Draws]

Dunno whether anyone else has mentioned it but...Sex Lives of the Potato Men, fucking awful awful AWFUL film. One of those low budget indie British comedy (with some great comedic talent) but just not funny...or good in any shape what-so-ever! The worst film i've ever had to sit through (luckily me and a bunch of mates at the time rented it on one of our curry sunday's, so the experience wasn't a complete waste...i'd have ripped my own eyes out if i'd had to see it in a cinema!)

Also as Darkest Hour is out over here worth mentioning The Darkest hour, a 2011 sci-fi film that was all kind's of rubbish! It had a promising looking trailer, but the film was just the dullest hour and a half ever!

[thevoid99]

The most recent bad film I saw on TV was Fifty Shades Darker. I love erotic cinema when it doesn't take itself so seriously and I don't mind that if it's willing to do something different or dramatic. This however was just offensive in how stupid it is. I was so infuriated in what I saw that I ended up writing a rant about the film: https://letterboxd.com/thevoid99/film/fifty-shades-darker/

[aggroculture]

just watched High-Rise and it was pretty shitty, in a mediocre, over-reaching sort of a way. Treats Ballard's writing like some sort of retro-nostalgia curio, rather than being relevant to our contemporary world. Also, the cast was all-white, which also doesn't make much sense. The film was about class, should have been about race too.
A missed opportunity, I'd say.

[Halo Infinity]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3j_iL2FcXQ


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzV8Q2fsN0o

[Self.Destructive.Pattern]

^^^ In my top ten of best bad movies ever. Jontron does this so damn well (Stop that foot shit!).

[eversonpoe]

i've only watched Birdemic with rifftrax but the riffing is incredible and highly quotable. my wife and i say "i have boner, you go car now" at least twice a week hahaha

[elevenism]

"i have boner, you go car now"
I need to see this, based on the hilarity of that quote, even without context.

[eversonpoe]

I need to see this, based on the hilarity of that quote, even without context.

i will send you a dropbox link when i get home tonight

[GulDukat]

Man of Steel.

[SM Rollinger]

Man of Steel.
ouch, I like that one too.

Superman 3 and 4 sucked without a doubt

[Self.Destructive.Pattern]

Birdemic quote...

"Rod:
Man, that was a good movie! An Inconvenient Truth!

Rick:
That is it, I'm getting myself a car that's environmentally friendly."

[GulDukat]

ouch, I like that one too.

Superman 3 and 4 sucked without a doubtI would take 3 and 4 (bad films, especially 4) because of Reeve's performance. MOS just plain sucked.

[Haysey_Draws]

I dunno, DC get a lot of hate for their films but MoS wasn't 'bad' bad, it just wasn't very good.

In terms of BAD movies i have 3...

- The Darkest Hour (no not the recent Churchill film, the one from 2011)
- Red Sparrow (from last year, fuck me this film was BORINGLY BAD!)
- Sex lives of the Potato Men (just...no, don't watch this...EVER!)

[Kodiak33]

Finally got a chance to start Aquaman...could not finish it. I thought the script was absolutely horrible.

[eversonpoe]

watched Retro Puppet Master (with rifftrax) last night with my wife and we were dying. there are so many references to The Room (greg sestero plays the main character in Retro Puppet Master) and it was just so perfectly skewered. the movie itself was like a really bad, really long episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark? so i don't think we would have made it through without the riffing. it's available on amazon prime if you're interested.