The Alternative Sexuality thread

[Fixer808]

Probably a good idea to resurrect this one. Mods, you can decide whether or not it should be folded into the Fucking Thread, here on this new ETS!

If not, y'all know what to do in here! It's like the Fucking Thread, but aimed more at the kinkier side of things. For example, I've been frequenting a club night called Sin City at almost all of its twice-a-month parties since July, and I've been having a fucking blast! The people are almost all so friendly, and dungeon time has been quite sexy. I've built my own tools, including a pair of whips made from patch cables and black tape, and a sort of a crop made from a straight-ish, dried vine cane, wrapped in tape and painted reddy-pink. It's name is Mr. Justice.

I need the money to expand my collection of costumes and bits of gear to go with the cuffs, nipple clamps and ball gag. I'm a dom, but do also enjoy going under the lash a bit!

Have at 'er, gang!

[iamanexit]

I definitely feel as though this should be separate from a general Fucking thread...

We have a great club here called The Inferno that does some BDSM nights and I have had the pleasure of attending a couple, so far. I never really got into anything too kinky until I found so many awesome like-minded folks. Plus, my friend, who is also my piercer, is in charge of certain nights (the real kinky ones!), which is a lot of fun. Nothing like getting tied up and slapped around on a stage in front of a bunch of friends and strangers...

My boyfriend is pretty vanilla, so I don't really bring my interests into the bedroom, but he's keen on pulling my hair and doing some light choking and slapping, so I can dig that. (:

I don't think I will ever get into buying/making gear. Seems like a very expensive hobby!

[icklekitty]

I want to post here but this thread has a stupid title. *strop*

[goody]

Is this a sort of resurrection of the New Spice?

[icklekitty]

I assumed the BDSM thread. Spice thread=porn yeah?

Here are some ideas:
The Playpen
The Alternative Sexuality thread (if you want to widen the net)

I can't actually think of any more ideas. But I don't like using the word "freaky". There's nothing weird about this.

[Ryan]

Limits are limiting.

[ltrandazzo]

The net has been widened. Er...

[icklekitty]

The bit in brackets wasn't a part of the title! But I'll stop being a princess...for now.On-topic conversation and more overposting in threads when I get home.

[Fixer808]

I don't think I will ever get into buying/making gear. Seems like a very expensive hobby!
Buying gear can certainly get expensive, especially if you're going to start buying higher-end, but so far, making stuff has cost me almost nothing. Granted, I'm an amateur at it, so I'm not using top-shelf materials. I'm using my poor-art-student learnings to scrounge. I probably would have been the guy in a Nazi POW camp who made a secret radio out of a tin of coffee and the camp kommandant's lapel pins.

Also, alternate title welcome. I for one like the word "freaky", but I get where you're coming from icklekitty!

[aurelius]

"Alternative Sexuality" makes me think non-binary. Non-binary makes me think of Jiz Lee. Jiz Lee makes me think of naughty, wondrous things.

[playwithfire]

"Alternative Sexuality" makes me think non-binary. Non-binary makes me think of Jiz Lee. Jiz Lee makes me think of naughty, wondrous things.

I love you.

[Fixer808]

I don't know what that is, but it sounds messy. I'm in.

[halloween]

I've been questioning my level of kink lately. I sometimes feel like i've become slightly more standard with my sexual fantasies. Which is bullshit to be honest, because i haven't actually even been fantasizing or masturbating or watching porn. It happens maybe once a month at this rate...
But sometimes i do question how much i really "need" to be involved in all the heavy duty bdsm stuff that i used to so readily fantasize about, to be able to have a satisfying sex life. I guess only time and experience will tell!
For now...i'm outta here!

[playwithfire]

I don't know what that is, but it sounds messy. I'm in.
*Who* they are.

http://cache.fleshbot.com/assets/images/2/2011/10/xlarge__dsc0219_01.jpg

[Fixer808]

I'm VERY in now.

[aurelius]

I love you.

I love you too! I was just coming back to post a pic but you beat me to it.

[cashpiles (closed)]

My classmate told me about when she was a kid and her brother would tie her up to a chair with rope. I got such a kick out of that. My God. My warped mind started wondering whether this childhood experience planted the seeds of some unreleased desires within her. I would very gladly tie her up now that she's all grown up. Then a couple weeks ago, we somehow got on the topic of how she used to make videos with her brothers and how once she had played a damsel in distress and her brother tied her to bedpost with rope. My mind was imagining her in her current form tied to a bed post and ya... she's the subject of my full perversion.

[nin5in]

I've been questioning my level of kink lately. I sometimes feel like i've become slightly more standard with my sexual fantasies. Which is bullshit to be honest, because i haven't actually even been fantasizing or masturbating or watching porn. It happens maybe once a month at this rate...
But sometimes i do question how much i really "need" to be involved in all the heavy duty bdsm stuff that i used to so readily fantasize about, to be able to have a satisfying sex life. I guess only time and experience will tell!
For now...i'm outta here!

I'm sort of in an similar situation. Except that I want to get a little kinkier with my spouse, and he is like "hell no!", so I find that to be more in tune with him, I have to shut off some of my kinky tendencies. Which is upsetting me. He's not into me being the dom in a BDSM situation, (although he doesn't mind me spanking him a bit). So I guess I'll either ease him into it slowly, or forget about it at all.

[Fixer808]

I have a coffee date on Thursday with a lovely girl I met at fetish night on Saturday. She's also into the possibility of introducing friend into the mix, as both are interested in exploring kink and friend is shy. We'll see where this goes.

Also, Noir Fetish Ball this upcoming Saturday. I'm turning into a bit of a partier this last 6 months, ever since I got back from SDCC!

[icklekitty]

WARNING: Any links here will be NSFW

For me, my fetishes are more about the psychological aspect than any fancy toys. At the last London Fetish Fair (http://www.londonfetishfair.co.uk/), there was an incredible workshop by a dom who demonstrated how he could make his clients cum just by tapping the air in a certain way or saying a certain word. The leader of the London munch (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/p/IndelibleMarker/) wrote this really interesting essay about psychological domination (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/275278/). I love the idea of having that amount of trust in someone that you're able to let go completely. Because of this, my sexual preferences are an extension of a connection with someone, rather than a thing that needs to happen for me to get off. And it fits so perfectly with the rest of my beliefs and lifestyle.

While ETS has been down, a lot of one on one chat with members has revealed that I'm not the only one that's into this, and it's refreshing to talk to someone outside of a designated environment that doesn't titter or isn't all "omg teh kinky secks" while being unable to assume the role. Other people are plain surprised and assume I would be the dominant person in a relationship.

There are a few websites that pretty accurately illustrate what I'm into. I'm a huge fan of kink.com and channels like The Upper Floor (http://theupperfloor.com) (even aesthetically) and Public Disgrace (http://www.publicdisgrace.com) are definitely my sort of thing. This (http://www.sexandsubmission.com/site/shoot/8065-Kinky-Couple.html)probably describes my ideal relationship - before I came across the video, I had already planned things like this, and came very close to doing it for a boyfriend's birthday once. I'm not really into tumblr, but I've found their D/s oriented feeds really interesting. This (http://hurt-me-daddy.tumblr.com/)is probably my favourite (one time she posted a Kylie photo and I pretty much lost it).

And fetish clubs (which in many ways couldn't be more different to "sex clubs" - I've had lots of those conversations with laddish types too). Well, I live in Vauxhall (http://vauxhallvillage.com/), and you've all seen my wardrobe. Music being such a huge tie to my life, my favourite one is Antichrist (http://clubantichrist.com/ac/) because, unlike places like Torture Garden (http://www.torturegarden.com/) (don't go, it's just a fashion show) the music is more interesting than that "doof doof" stuff that is the least sexy thing in my mind. I'll be getting round to visiting Club Rub (http://www.club-rub.com/) next month - I'm quite interested to try their grope corridor. I've heard that fetish clubs in the US are much tamer. For one, you're not allowed to take photos of punters at ours.


Anyway, I'm off to google Jiz Lee.

[jessamineny]

You might like this book. The author, who unfortunately died recently, was an expert in psychological dominance.

http://www.amazon.com/Forked-Tongue-TF08SE-Flagg/dp/055704961X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1323875359&sr=1-1

[onthewall2983]

For me, my fetishes are more about the psychological aspect than any fancy toys. At the last London Fetish Fair (http://www.londonfetishfair.co.uk/), there was an incredible workshop by a dom who demonstrated how he could make his clients cum just by tapping the air in a certain way or saying a certain word. The leader of the London munch (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/p/IndelibleMarker/) wrote this really interesting essay about psychological domination (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/275278/). I love the idea of having that amount of trust in someone that you're able to let go completely. Because of this, my sexual preferences are an extension of a connection with someone, rather than a thing that needs to happen for me to get off. And it fits so perfectly with the rest of my beliefs and lifestyle.

I agree with this so much. Chemistry is the key ingredient that makes any kind of kinky activity really special. It doesn't really even have to be love, but an innate understanding of each other. I know of people who have play partners who are really just FWB, who would probably tell you the same thing. My ideal arrangement would be to have one person at the center, but with room for both of us to explore with others, outside of what we do with each other. I could never bear the idea of cheating on a woman I love, but I equally can't bear the idea of total and utter monogamy because my pervy brain just cannot allow it. I almost fell in with someone who was exactly as kinky as I was, but couldn't comprehend what my goals were and it all went downhill from there.

But right now, for personal reasons, I'm just going to put it all aside for awhile and be a bystander. I've engaged in so much kink that didn't have those qualities and felt like I was feeding an addiction rather than finding what I was really looking for, that I'm afraid if I do more of it it will all feel just like a waste of my time, and I end up doing what my mother wishes and find a nice Christian girl to marry and find Jesus.

[Fixer808]

Went to Fetish Valentines party on Saturday, but didn't really stroll through the dungeon for whatever reason. It was a good time, though! Met a girl who might want to hire me to do a photoshoot for her, dressed up as the Devil (pics to come) and badly bruised my shins in a go-go cage dancing to INXS. AWESOME!

Also, last time I went, I got put in a straightjacket. Those things are no joke!! I'm not all that into being restrained, so we took some photos at the picture booth and then I used my safe word! XD

[onthewall2983]

Has anyone here heard or read of the 50 Shades books? I read this article (http://suicidegirlsblog.com/blog/50-shades-of-grey-whipping-bdsm-out-of-the-shadows) and found it fascinating that it had quite the vanilla audience, reaching an almost Twilight-esque popularity with housewives and young women. Maybe it's just being selfish, but I kinda yearn for the days when BDSM seemed to be hidden away from the culture with only a select few people in the population who have a real understanding of it. That said, this kind of fictional treatment of it seems to be making it more mainstream, and worse yet more hetero.

[jessamineny]

Has anyone here heard or read of the 50 Shades books? I read this article (http://suicidegirlsblog.com/blog/50-shades-of-grey-whipping-bdsm-out-of-the-shadows) and found it fascinating that it had quite the vanilla audience, reaching an almost Twilight-esque popularity with housewives and young women. Maybe it's just being selfish, but I kinda yearn for the days when BDSM seemed to be hidden away from the culture with only a select few people in the population who have a real understanding of it. That said, this kind of fictional treatment of it seems to be making it more mainstream, and worse yet more hetero.

I look at it this way. BDSM is ever-evolving. You probably first connected to the BDSM community through the Internet, like I did. That vastly changed the landscape of the scene. Also, mass-media images have for decades been chipping away at people's perceptions -- how many kids who grew up watching TR's videos are to some degree desensitized to BDSM and more accepting of it as a legitimate expression of sexuality? The "old days" you're yearning for are probably days that someone else is lamenting.

What's wrong with more people knowing about, accepting and even participating in BDSM? We still live in a time when an employer can fire you if they find out you practice S&M. Where children can be taken from their parents. I welcome greater acceptance and understanding. I welcome a time when people don't have to bury their sexuality to keep or feed their family.

I never practiced S&M because it was dirty or made me an outlaw. I practiced S&M because it felt like it brought me closer to my authentic self, and connected me to people who I felt a strong, spiritual kinship with. An old friend said going to events felt like "going to church." There have always been people who treat BDSM like a swingset -- they're climbing on for a little adrenaline and a fun time. It's nowhere like church for them. It's like recess. You don't have to be too smart to suss them out. And you don't have to pay them any mind. If tourists ruin someone's kink, they probably didn't have a very good footing to begin with.

[icklekitty]

My preferences confuse a lot of people in the scene. They find it hard to wrap their heads around a sub that looks like a Domme and isn't into pain.

[Fixer808]

You're an enigma!

[icklekitty]

Pah, not really. Be tattooed evil in a suit, call me names, tie me up, slap me about a bit, degrade me, make me serve/worship you, then force me to do things in public.

*sigh* true love.

[onthewall2983]

What's wrong with more people knowing about, accepting and even participating in BDSM? We still live in a time when an employer can fire you if they find out you practice S&M. Where children can be taken from their parents. I welcome greater acceptance and understanding. I welcome a time when people don't have to bury their sexuality to keep or feed their family.

Absolutely nothing. And I'll admit the original post I made wasn't as well-thought out as I'd hoped, but I'm always weary when it enters the public conscience through what's possibly a very dull series of books that make us all out to be broken people. And I get very self-defensive and righteous when people who clearly have no understanding of it plainly use words like abuse and misogyny when describing something so near and dear to my soul. Like this (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/46602040#46602040) discussion about the book's popularity, especially the comments from Dr. Drew.

[allegro]

Absolutely nothing. And I'll admit the original post I made wasn't as well-thought out as I'd hoped, but I'm always weary when it enters the public conscience through what's possibly a very dull series of books that make us all out to be broken people. And I get very self-defensive and righteous when people who clearly have no understanding of it plainly use words like abuse and misogyny when describing something so near and dear to my soul. Like this (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/46602040#46602040) discussion about the book's popularity, especially the comments from Dr. Drew.


It wasn't THAT long ago that the below-referenced book was on a WHOLE LOT of bookshelves. It was seemingly *everywhere*. Even us teens read it. We didn't GET it, but we read it. Christ, my MOM read it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story_of_O

Dr. Drew, well, he's just Dr. Drew, he always says stuff like that. EVERYTHING is somehow linked to being abused as a child. If you're addicted to sugar, you were probably abused as a child. Listen to what the other two female experts on the show are saying, which is much more positive and "meh, yeah, whatever."

[icklekitty]

Oh, The Story of O. I've heard a lot about that book. Definitely seems less fantastical than the de Sade stuff I was reading when I was younger.

I've found that the easiest way to dispel *any* misconceptions about my tastes is to talk openly about them. I mean, how much do you people now know about PCOS, Kylie, or old things thanks to me not being able to shut up about them? The more you sit someone down and explain something to them the more they'll understand where you're coming from. Even when it's about *teehee* sex.

[orestes]

Avoid the movie.

[allegro]

HAAAAAhahaha true!

[onthewall2983]

Found this (http://theseductionofvenus.blogspot.ca/2012/04/my-funny-valentine-by-stan-malinowski.html?zx=91eb28798bcb5315) (very, VERY NSFW) recently. It was the first Penthouse bondage pictorial from 1976. It's surprisingly not very dated, looks like it could have been from a more recent period.

[onthewall2983]

The inner sadist in me came out tonight after dwelling too long in the dark. A welcome vessel came my way out of the clear blue sky, and it all culminated tonight. I felt inspired, alive, and in fucking charge.

[icklekitty]

This week I had lunch with a Dom who wasn't very dominant. He was only meant for a bit of entertainment while my Daddy's away, but still it's quite irritating how this is the norm.

I've also been considering a third situation: being a pet to a Domme. My only real criteria is that she is gorgeous (I have a sadist and a pervert, so goddess-worship might be interesting to explore) ...I'm thinking something along the lines of this (just without the incredibly cringeworth band): http://youtu.be/xRG2B13D8JM?t=23s

[Baphomette]

This week I had lunch with a Dom who wasn't very dominant. He was only meant for a bit of entertainment while my Daddy's away, but still it's quite irritating how this is the norm.You need to meet an old friend of mine. He's based in London and I can safely guarantee that lunch with him would be beyond entertaining.

[icklekitty]

Do it. If he's on the relevant networks, I'm icklekitty everywhere.

[Baphomette]

Sent you a link on that other social site. Thought it'd be easier to do intros that way.

[onthewall2983]

Repeat performance last night. A lot of flogging and cropping (which I officially love). She's a rather heavy masochist and she responded in a pretty deep way. Feeling more self-confident of my skills, as a Dom and someone that can perform impact play with a degree of skill that will hopefully improve over time.

[jessamineny]

Feeling more self-confident of my skills, as a Dom and someone that can perform impact play with a degree of skill that will hopefully improve over time.

There's the technical proficiency, and then there's also the ability to read the person you're playing -- a good Top will almost begin to read and play his bottom like a piece of music. That alchemy is amazing when it happens. But I'm quite certain you know this, judging from some of your comments. :)

[onthewall2983]

I'm getting there. Her body language is new to me so there were some hiccups I will admit, but she looked quite blissful when it was over.

[onthewall2983]

"Spank thy neighbor: BDSM party at deconsecrated church is welcomed by South Philly community" (https://ncsfreedom.org/press/blog/item/spank-thy-neighbor-bdsm-party-at-deconsecrated-church-is-welcomed-by-south-philly-community.html). The kind of thing that could get people killed in other countries is bringing a neighborhood together. Stories like this do make me hopeful for America.

In other, more personal news, an intriguing woman has come into my life. Local and experienced, though a bit rusty. Some of which I hope to polish very soon.

[icklekitty]

Torture Garden in London is held at Mass (http://www.torturegarden.com/mass/), which used to be a church. In Manchester, their biggest goth club is held in a real working church monthly. Goth club on Saturdays, morning service at 8am on Sundays.

God save the Queen.

[jessamineny]

wrong thread. See the Transgender thread.

[onthewall2983]

Harvard approves school BDSM group (http://bostinno.com/2012/11/29/harvard-college-munch-harvard-approves-bdsm-group/)

[onthewall2983]

First five minutes of Lisa Ling's Our America about BDSM, premiering this Tuesday on OWN (http://www.oprah.com/own-our-america-lisa-ling/Sneak-Peek-Watch-the-First-5-Minutes-of-the-New-Season-Video). Long way from Channel 1.

[onthewall2983]

http://voices.yahoo.com/nicole-kidman-admits-kinky-love-life-4814180.html?cat=7

11-year old me just had a heart attack.

[Lew]

For me, my fetishes are more about the psychological aspect than any fancy toys. At the last London Fetish Fair (http://www.londonfetishfair.co.uk/), there was an incredible workshop by a dom who demonstrated how he could make his clients cum just by tapping the air in a certain way or saying a certain word. The leader of the London munch (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/p/IndelibleMarker/) wrote this really interesting essay about psychological domination (http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/275278/). I love the idea of having that amount of trust in someone that you're able to let go completely. Because of this, my sexual preferences are an extension of a connection with someone, rather than a thing that needs to happen for me to get off. And it fits so perfectly with the rest of my beliefs and lifestyle.


thank you, icklekitty.
exactly this.

[jessamineny]

You might be interested in this book (http://www.amazon.com/The-Forked-Tongue-TF08SE-Flagg/dp/055704961X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377631193&sr=8-1&keywords=the+forked+tongue)

[Lew]

You might be interested in this book (http://www.amazon.com/The-Forked-Tongue-TF08SE-Flagg/dp/055704961X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377631193&sr=8-1&keywords=the+forked+tongue)

looking for it now. thank you. (surprisingly not in public library. lol)

ladies: any of you struggle with the existence of your interest(s) in alternative sexuality? pm if you prefer. anyone and everyone, but very curious about icklekitty, jessamineny and miss baphomet. i mean, it sounds as though you are all quite comfortable now but it also sounds as though you have practice to back up the theory, so to speak.

[rhet]

My preferences confuse a lot of people in the scene. They find it hard to wrap their heads around a sub that looks like a Domme and isn't into pain.

i just discovered this thread and man is it nice to hear i'm not the only sub who isn't super into pain.

[playwithfire]

redacted

[icklekitty]

top/bottom = the one with the tools
sadist/masochist = the one getting hurt
Dom/sub = the one with the power
Master/slave = the one who completely controls/gives up their life.

I'm an active sub to a Goddess and a little girl to a Master.

[icklekitty]

looking for it now. thank you. (surprisingly not in public library. lol)

ladies: any of you struggle with the existence of your interest(s) in alternative sexuality? pm if you prefer. anyone and everyone, but very curious about icklekitty, jessamineny and miss baphomet. i mean, it sounds as though you are all quite comfortable now but it also sounds as though you have practice to back up the theory, so to speak.

No shame. Read my fetlife profile (same name) if you want to know more and click through to my partner's site if you want to know what my vagina looks like.

[jessamineny]

ladies: any of you struggle with the existence of your interest(s) in alternative sexuality? pm if you prefer. anyone and everyone, but very curious about icklekitty, jessamineny and miss baphomet. i mean, it sounds as though you are all quite comfortable now but it also sounds as though you have practice to back up the theory, so to speak.

I guess I would ask you: Why are you asking? Is it something you find yourself struggling with? Something your partner is questioning? (And why did you only ask the women?)

[playwithfire]

redacted

[Lew]

No shame. Read my fetlife profile (same name) if you want to know more and click through to my partner's site if you want to know what my vagina looks like.

i am going to look at your vagina once i am off here. ;p friend requesting you. :) and questions, likely. thank you.

[Lew]

I guess I would ask you: Why are you asking? Is it something you find yourself struggling with? Something your partner is questioning? (And why did you only ask the women?)

perspective. yes. no. women only: because i have picked a few male minds for perspective and am now looking for lady perspective. :) are you on fetlife, too? anyway, will pm. feeling less ballsy today. lol.

[Lew]

You might be interested in this book (http://www.amazon.com/The-Forked-Tongue-TF08SE-Flagg/dp/055704961X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377631193&sr=8-1&keywords=the+forked+tongue)

is this all instruction or does it touch on the why's and wherefore's?

[jessamineny]

It's much more philosophy. If you go to that Amazon page, you can click on the book title where it says "Look Inside" and see the table of contents, and read some of the book. It's meant to make you think, meant to provoke, meant to make you rethink.

[Lew]

It's much more philosophy. If you go to that Amazon page, you can click on the book title where it says "Look Inside" and see the table of contents, and read some of the book. It's meant to make you think, meant to provoke, meant to make you rethink.

thank you, jessamineny. i was a little too hesitant to check table of contents. i am not looking for an instruction manual type book, but will happily take anything geared to rethink...think..etc.

happy wednesday!

[onthewall2983]

Can we just title this "BDSM"?

[rhet]

Can we just title this "BDSM"?

There's way more to alternative sexuality than just BDSM.

[onthewall2983]

Fair enough.

[playwithfire]

..

[jessamineny]

Ooooo, pink. (http://www.ebay.com/itm/4-Wartenberg-Neuro-Pin-Wheel-Chiropractic-Physical-Therapy-Surgical-Instruments-/310564591628?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item484f17980c) :)

I believe this is also the company I ordered sounds and speculums from. (I ran the local group's auction one year, and bought some medical supplies for auction items.) They'll sell you stuff off eBay for cheaper if you send them a list via e-mail...

[Fixer808]

I'm in love. (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wartenberg_wheel)
I've actually been meaning to get one of those! Or a pair of spurs...

[playwithfire]

..

[Fixer808]

I prefer the stainless to the coloured ones, but those ones are much cheaper, it seems... And I've seen them used on a few girls at Sin, and the looks on their faces were amazing! Sort of like a face you might make if you walk quickly into a very cold pool...

[icklekitty]

I prefer the stainless to the coloured ones, but those ones are much cheaper, it seems... And I've seen them used on a few girls at Sin, and the looks on their faces were amazing! Sort of like a face you might make if you walk quickly into a very cold pool...


DIY Joe - try attaching one to an electric toothbrush

[playwithfire]

..

[goody]

I have one! My boyfriend HATES it. It never gets used. Sort of like my rope.

[Halo Infinity]

I almost misread this as the Asexuality Thread on a very quick glance. Could you imagine that being on ETS some day? :p But yeah, I'm into a few fetishes, fantasies, and role-plays myself.

[Fixer808]

It never gets used. Sort of like my rope.
Bummer, I've seen some amazing ropework at Sin...

[onthewall2983]

Freshly spanked and chastised by a man in a suit. Awesome.

[Big Fat Matt]

Free pizza. Actually, pizza in general makes me happy.

[onthewall2983]

Free pizza. Actually, pizza in general makes me happy.

Think you're in the wrong thread :)

[frankie teardrop]

pizzerotica: the act of masturbating with a slice of pizza.

[Big Fat Matt]

damn tapatalk.....

[eversonpoe]

pizzerotica: the act of masturbating with a slice of pizza.

i just dithered between liking and facepaling this for several minutes... too bad you can't do both, anymore. :p

[Halo Infinity]

That makes me wish there was an awkward smiling emoticon too. It actually got me to think of the following joke though. "AKA Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gone horribly wrong." (You know, with how you can Rule 34 things.)

[Fixer808]

Yay!
http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z246/Fixer808/2013-10-19062024_zps2de9fda1.jpg

[playwithfire]

<333333333

[Fixer808]

IT'S SO POINTY AND PRETTY! Can't wait to try it out! Just running it across my palm made me wonder what facial expressions it shall cause!

[Halo Infinity]

I'm not so sure if this falls under the right thread, but they are some of my fetishes. I have a fetish for lingerie, and not just the way it looks, but the way it feels. The fabrics really get me off. My favorite fabrics are nylon, polyester, satin, and silk. I also have a foot fetish and high heel fetish for both they way they feel, smell, taste, and look too. It probably looks like I'm the first one to admit this. Wearing makeup has also given me a sexual high. I also see how this could belong in The Transgender Thread, but I never really thought it was about the fetishistic aspect of crossdressing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transvestic_fetishism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoe_fetishism

[icklekitty]

I have a big thing for black lace and black PVC shoes.

The feeling of a wool suit through fully fashioned nylons.

[playwithfire]

..

[jessamineny]

I'm still poking at the bruises every day.

:::chuckles::: I have a string of bite marks up my forearm right now, and I've spent allllll day poke, poke, poke, poke, poke.

[onthewall2983]

Poly is tricky, I think for it to work you'd have to be lifelong friends. And even that's a shaky deal. I have nothing against bringing other people in to play, but it's a difficult process nonetheless from my experience.

[theruiner]

So...I just tried S&M type stuff for the first time. I have to say, I did not enjoy it at all. About halfway through I was just playing along. The whole time all I wanted to do was go home but I told myself I would try this so I did, I stuck it out.

Now...that all being said, I'm still glad I did it. It was an experience, to be sure. And the aspiring comedian part of my brain at some point just started picking out really funny aspects of the situation that I could turn into a bit later. Not that I would be making fun of people who do this sort of thing, mind you, or the people I was with. I have no problem with any of it and I wouldn't make jokes at their expense. It was more kind of making fun of myself for how awkward I felt and the horribly cheesy music she put on in the background. And then the CD started skipping right in the middle. And I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it.

Also, and this is really weird, but it really kind of made me think of some very personal things differently. I don't know yet exactly how it affected this, but I do think this brought some sort of clarity to my gender issues because part of it was forced feminization stuff. I don't know exactly how my perspective shifted yet, I'll need some time to work through it (and thankfully I start with my gender therapist on Monday) but it definitely felt like something happened there. Either I am going to feel more strongly than ever about the gender thing or I may realize that I don't want that after all. I don't know. All I know is this definitely let me experience something I had always wanted to and it very well might have given me a partial breakthrough about the issue. Which is kind of amazing.

So...yeah. That happened.

[rhet]

hubs is on his first poly date tonight :D really excited for him and i hope it goes well.

[Lew]

hubs is on his first poly date tonight :D really excited for him and i hope it goes well.

will you report on this further, please? VERY curious as to how a true poly relationship works irl.
thank you.

[rhet]

will you report on this further, please? VERY curious as to how a true poly relationship works irl.
thank you.

it must have gone pretty well cause he's out with her again tonight hehe

i'm no expert but what is you want to know?

[Lew]

how long you have been doing it (as in: does it work), do you ever worry or wonder that it will derail your relationship?
personally, i think poly makes far more sense for humans than monogamy does, but i have always wondered how well it translates into real relationships and such.
when discussing with others the most common fear seems to be that one partner will end up falling for someone they play with..or generally the idea that accepting that kind of freedom within your relationship is a sure fire way to doom the long term potential of a couple.
:)
thank you for your response.

fwiw: i am in a monogamous marriage, 13 years old now. prior to marriage i was very much about a poly lifestyle because i had zero interest in commitment. i found it way easier to be poly, back then, than to attempt to 'cleave to only one' on a number of levels. i have also, surprisingly, found it easy to be monogamous..but i often wonder if that is a)out of respect for my husband, who is very very not poly minded and/or b) because i have children...in any case i have long been curious to know how poly plays out when one is simultaneously committed...since, back in the day, i was poly but single.

[rhet]

its kind of impossible to answer this without writing a book haha. so here it goes..

i started talking about the idea of open relationships with my husband about 3 years ago (we've been married for 4, together for 8) and i started actively dating about 2 years ago. It took a while for us to talk through all the implications and practicalities plus we weren't really in a great location/time in our lives to be making things more complicated for ourselves so we did things really slowly and talked and talked and talked lol both of us are very introspective and analytical which helps. this time also helped us get our marriage in better 'shape' before opening it up.

i think it has made our relationship way stronger because you HAVE to talk about all of your issues or it doesn't work. also when we first started my sex drive was higher than his so it gave me an outlet and now we've kind of switched roles where his is higher but neither of us feel frustrated or guilty.

as far as being afraid he'll fall for someone else or vice versa..our 'setup' is that we are each others primary partner and our marriage comes first. theres always the super lusty phase when you first meet someone new that might seem to take over for the first few weeks but if that starts to effect our relationship then changes need to be made. things usually settle back down naturally though. i think we've worked really hard to build a solid relationship and trust each other to be able to work through any issues that come up but you have to accept that things don't always turn out the way you plan or imagine. you can't control everything and i could fall for someone else or end up getting a divorce etc whether i was poly or not. i think that attitude helps keep us from taking each other for granted and always working to be better.

[Dra508]

Also, and this is really weird, but it really kind of made me think of some very personal things differently. I don't know yet exactly how it affected this, but I do think this brought some sort of clarity to my gender issues because part of it was forced feminization stuff. I don't know exactly how my perspective shifted yet, I'll need some time to work through it (and thankfully I start with my gender therapist on Monday) but it definitely felt like something happened there. Either I am going to feel more strongly than ever about the gender thing or I may realize that I don't want that after all. I don't know. All I know is this definitely let me experience something I had always wanted to and it very well might have given me a partial breakthrough about the issue. Which is kind of amazing.

So...yeah. That happened.Not to pry, but I'm curious if this possible realization came when you had been spanked or the like? I asked because I read somewhere, on the internet which we all know is the gospel of truth, that you get a surge of hormone - testosterone. This sounds stupid as I write it, but I personally don't doubt that you get a surge of something.

[icklekitty]

Also NB forced feminisation is one person's idea of feminisation. A lot of male slaves I see around that have been feminised look like shit. And I don't make friends with nobody that looks like shit.

[theruiner]

@Dra- Not a silly question! Actually, no, there was no spanking that time. I actually went back and tried both things one more time, just to give it another shot, and it only confirmed that I didn't like any of it. This time I actually tried bondage in addition to the two original things and...well, let's just say it was not for me.

But yeah. I don't know anymore what the revelation was in terms of my gender expression. That whole thing is shifting (but that's another discussion and thread entirely) The whole thing made me feel really lonely, though. Like, it made me actually really miss being in a relationship, which I haven't missed in a really long time. I still haven't figured out why it triggered that, but it did.

Anyway, you can't say I didn't try but I think it's safe to say I won't be doing any of that again.

[onthewall2983]

A girl begged me for a picture of my feet last night. I am liking where things are going.

[onthewall2983]

I dominated a young man tonight for the first time. He was very compliant and quiet. I discovered the wonders of the bath brush as torture tool.

I had this playing on Spotify

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cd/Stalker_album_cover.jpg

[playwithfire]

..

[onthewall2983]

I'm really wondering if I'm still bi, if all I want to do with other men is play kinky games more than have sex with them.

[jessamineny]

I'm selling off my (pretty extensive) toy bag if anybody's interested. Most of the stuff is higher end, but there are some cheaper things.

It's all on Fetlife (same user name). You can either just perv the photos/descriptions or see the threads in this group: https://fetlife.com/groups/405

[Sarah K]

Oh mah lord. I want it all! ESPECIALLY THIS ONE https://fetlife.com/users/244698/pictures/28334263

I've never owned one. I've gotten hit with a couple, but my previously mentioned huge ass absorbs beatings pretty well. But the ones I've experienced sucked, and I usually just end up asking for a belt instead. But that one up there looks stingy as fuck!

Why are you getting rid of everything?

[playwithfire]

..

[Fixer808]

WOW, I want 'em (the postage for shipping would be astronomical, though...)! It's funny though, my girl and I have a couple floggers I made, and I have a wartenberg wheel (http://i00.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/570300714/Wartenberg-Pin-Wheel-Reflex-Hammer-Deluxe-Medical-Reflex-Hammer-Set-RC-401G10A.jpg), cuffs, ball gag, etc., but we usually don't get around to using them! Like last Saturday when we got home from the fetish night, I'd planned on tying her up and doing some light whipping and sensory play, but we were so fucking horny we just straight-up attacked each other!

[jessamineny]

Oh mah lord. I want it all! ESPECIALLY THIS ONE https://fetlife.com/users/244698/pictures/28334263

I've never owned one. I've gotten hit with a couple, but my previously mentioned huge ass absorbs beatings pretty well. But the ones I've experienced sucked, and I usually just end up asking for a belt instead. But that one up there looks stingy as fuck!

Why are you getting rid of everything?

I left the scene in 2006. And I really need money. :D

Honestly, I have no idea if I'll ever come back. I haven't even played heavily with my long-term, off-and-on partner.

That flogger with the noose-tips isn't really stingy. It's THUDDY. :) The kangaroo flogger is stingy.

[playwithfire]

..

[Sarah K]

Lol. I'm on team "whatever will hurt me and leave marks".

Except for canes. That was the woooooorst. I could only take it for a few minutes. It made me feel like a huge pussy.

[jessamineny]

Man, I am SO team thud.

Looking at my flogger collection, you KNOW what team I'm on. ;)

[playwithfire]

..

[playwithfire]

..

[jessamineny]

Also, it's funny, my masochism is really not that sexual oftentimes. It's kind of an end in and of itself.

Like I would love to session with a domme in a nonsexual way. Just like... a nice hour of someone very skilled doing things to me.

Most of my time in the scene was public, nonsexual play. One of my primary partners was a het woman. I highly recommend it.

[Fixer808]

Man, I am SO team thud.
Here, I designed a track jacket for you.
http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z246/Fixer808/CustomInkPrintedProof-page-001_zps6b2b925e.jpg

[playwithfire]

..

[Fixer808]

Thought you'd like it! ;D

[onthewall2983]

Well this thread came back with a vengeance.

I think I'm with Sarah on doing S&M with the same sex but not being interested in bumping uglies so much.

[jessamineny]

OMG AT THAT COLLECTION. By the by -- if anyone wants to add me on fetlife, shoot me a pm with your username. I'm not keen on posting mine publicly but down to add people as I'm pretty new to the site.

Yeah, anybody feel free to send me a Friend Request. And pass on links to my stuff if you know someone who might be interested.

EDIT: Sold my Heartwood. ::cries:: At least it was to someone who collects them, and said he would "honor it history." He was lovely. :(

[jessamineny]

Maybe the universe wants you to get laid this weekend instead. :: positivethinking ::

;)

[jessamineny]

Woooooooo. So, since I seem to have gotten you laid, can you magically fix my car??? :D

[Sarah K]

I'll send you post-beating good vibes. :D

I also got hit with a flogger that I actually enjoyed for the first time. Wasn't very painful. But gave a good sensation, and he could hit me with it as hard as he could, and I was still fine. So I think it was really good for him, too.

We found some plastic tubing to mess with. That kinda sucked!

[Sarah K]

So uhhhh... question for those who arr more experienced than me: at what point do you get nervous about bruises? I have one that takes up a good portion of my tit. It just kesps growing, even though it happened week ago. Usually, I'm basically healed after a week. Adding to my paranoia is that there I spot of it that is firm. Like a knot. I've previously been hospitalized for blood clots, so now I'm freaking myself out. I dunno if forming a clot from a bruise is even a thing. But I'm worried.

[onthewall2983]

http://www.thesurvivaldoctor.com/2012/02/21/bruises-and-blood-clots/

I found this looking it up on Google.

[jessamineny]

In my experience, it's not unusual for a bruise to bloom over several days, especially if it's a deep bruise in a muscle-y area. Your breast wouldn't be especially muscle-y however, so I'd agree that a week is a long time for it to form. I have, however, heard of knots in breast tissue after heavy impact play and that it is normal. That it would dissipate as the blood was reabsorbed into the body.

Fetlife has a forum where you can ask Doctors/medical people questions, though. I'd go ask them about it: https://fetlife.com/groups/11678
Post a photo for them to your profile if you can (especially if you have a series of photos over days)

[jessamineny]

I discovered the BDSM subreddit. Too many of those people are making me way fucking twitchy. Like the person whose girlfriend is new and wants to be tied up and tortured for days. His/her main concern is logistics: How do I get her to the bathroom, or feed her? REALLY? Have fun in jail after you maim or kill her. Jesus fuck.

[ophelia_]

I avoid any BDSM related subreddit like the plague... except for the femdom one, there's some good stuff on there sometimes.

[Sarah K]

Tell him she OBVIOUSLY isn't trained properly if she doesn't piss on command.

The top of my bruise is finally mostly faded the bottom half still remains gnarly blue/purple.

[jessamineny]

Yeah, the bruises on my tits always took the longest to heal. I think there's less blood flow there. Or I could be full of shit.

[onthewall2983]

Okay, since this is a music site, what does anyone here like having play in the background while they play? Since NIN is the common answer elsewhere, let's assume that anything Trent touches is a given in this case.

[jessamineny]

I actually preferred hearing music I didn't know. I'd want it as background, not something to draw my attention. Having NIN played might have gotten me to safeword the fuck out.

[onthewall2983]

I have some stuff in mind for someone I might be meeting soon. I might go with Stalker again, but I'm going to look into some Bass Communion, especially some of the darker collaborations Steven Wilson has done with groups like Pig or Dirk Serries under that name.

[Sarah K]

Yeah... Any music I know distracts me, and I start singing. No bueno.

[onthewall2983]

That would be kind of hot, actually. Especially if you're still singing when a gag of some kind is in place :)

[Sarah K]

I used to be like NEED NIN DURING A SCENE. Then, after months of talking about it, my partner finally humored me. But he didn't just put on music, he put on the BYIT Blu Ray. So I was distracted in a number of ways. Needless to say, it only remained on for like 5 minutes and then I was sad.

[ophelia_]

Sarah, I think you should share our new child with ETS.

[icklekitty]

W/we usually listen to Radio 4.

[Sarah K]

Sarah, I think you should share our new child with ETS.

Hahahaha.

Thanks to insomnia and 1:00am fetlife fuckery with ophelia_ there may or may not be an ETS fetlife group.

[aggroculture]

Ooh. Nice.
I went to my first slosh last night: people were very friendly, it was cool.

[Sarah K]

I should probably redo it and make it private, though. That way people can keep their shit from the ETS creepers if they want. I can't find a way to edit the settings to make it private, so I will probably just create a new group.

If you want in, just message me.

There is basically no purpose for it. lolz. It was just kind of an ongoing joke that actually got created last night.

[icklekitty]

There's a human on there called echoingthesound.

[amancalledhorse]

There's an amateur bdsm vid on one of the tube sites where the girl spends a ridiculous proportion of the vid performing a cover of Closer while tossing off her bound lover.

I cringed so hard that my penis became a vagina.

[icklekitty]

And now the website is down. THANKS GUYS.

[Sarah K]

I'm going to my first (small)party thing tonight.

It should only be like 15 or so people at a house. It's like board games and then sexy times. But I'm nervous. I'm not going to participate in sexy times, so I'm unsure of what I will do when that starts. The girl I'm going with is ALL ABOUT the stranger banging. So uhhh... Yeah. This might get real fuckin' awkward.

[DigitalChaos]

So there is this fucking fuck thread too.
My weird ass MDMA post (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/78-The-Fucking-Thread?p=195114#post195114) probably should have gone in here instead.

[DigitalChaos]

I'm going to my first (small)party thing tonight.

It should only be like 15 or so people at a house. It's like board games and then sexy times. But I'm nervous. I'm not going to participate in sexy times, so I'm unsure of what I will do when that starts. The girl I'm going with is ALL ABOUT the stranger banging. So uhhh... Yeah. This might get real fuckin' awkward.
Just own the awkwardness. It's awesome. Social sexual situations tend to be best when not taken too seriously anyway. There have been times where I was on either side of that situation and it can actually feel pretty similarly awkward on both sides.

Once upon a time I had a roommate who brought home two girls I had never met. They were good friends with each other. Somehow, all four of us are in his bedroom talking... and then he and #1 start making out . Then #2 proceeds to have a debate with me about why we should be doing the same thing. This lasts for nearly 10min and my roommate has moved well past making out. Then the debate ceases... silence... (with background noises from roomate and #1)... #2 needs to go get some water. Yea... oddly enough, roommate ended up getting into a serious relationship with #2 a few weeks later.

[jessamineny]

So there is this fucking fuck thread too.
My weird ass MDMA post (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/78-The-Fucking-Thread?p=195114#post195114) probably should have gone in here instead.

This isn't a fucking thread.
It's also not "weird"

[DigitalChaos]

This isn't a fucking thread.
It's also not "weird"

Maybe you should read the first post. Before or after fucking yourself, of course. :p


y'all know what to do in here! It's like the Fucking Thread, but aimed more at the kinkier side of things.

[jessamineny]

"Alternative sexuality" and "kink" are not catch-alls for everything but monogomous sex. They also quite often have absolutely nothing to do with sex acts.

And being "like" the fucking thread does not make it a fucking thread.

[DigitalChaos]

"Alternative sexuality" and "kink" are not catch-alls for everything but monogomous sex. They also quite often have absolutely nothing to do with sex acts.

And being "like" the fucking thread does not make it a fucking thread.

What is it you wanted to achieve by posting this?

I'm well aware of what kink is. Hell, I've worked with some of the kink.com people. I'm not sure how you saw monogamy in what I posted or why that would matter. It would also be pretty pretentious to try and tell me it isn't in the realm of kink. It's also silly to fixate on structuring exact boundaries around something that exists *because* it breaks boundaries.

[jessamineny]

If you know what kink is, why are you suggesting that sex on drugs is relevant? (And implying that "weird" things belong in here?)

And what's offensive? Having someone who is not involved in kink calling *me* pretentious and deciding *he* should be the one making definitions and drawing boundaries. After telling me to go fuck myself.

[DigitalChaos]

If you know what kink is, why are you suggesting that sex on drugs is relevant? (And implying that "weird" things belong in here?)

And what's offensive? Having someone who is not involved in kink calling *me* pretentious and deciding *he* should be the one making definitions and drawing boundaries. After telling me to go fuck myself.
Pretentious AND presumptuous, from what I'm seeing. I'm amazed at what you think you can deduce from a single post. You clearly missed some of the obvious components within that, extremely brief, post.

I'm not making any definitions or boundaries. I'm also no longer going to continue participating with your petulant derail, that's the boundary I will draw.

[Sarah K]

Hey, so I wish someone was slapping me!

[DigitalChaos]

Hey, so I wish someone was slapping me!
Out of curiosity, what were the board games that were planned at the beginning of the party? That sounds like it was a pretty disappointing change in plans with the lack of directions.

[Sarah K]

I dunno. We usually play Cards Against Humanity when I hang out with people from that circle. Good ice breaker when there are new people and such.

It was really disappointing! I spent allll day psyching myself up for it. The chick just moved, so we didn't get an address. Just an intersection. I dunno what happened.

[onthewall2983]

It's been my experience that social gatherings like that are at best a disappointment. The first time you go, anyway. Things either develop or they don't, but your first time out it's best not to have any high expectations. I was 20 years old the first time I went to a munch, and actually cried on the way home. It got sort of better (but didn't last long, for reasons I won't get into) but the nervousness I'd usually have never went away. I got out of my car and my knees started to buckle, like clockwork.

[Sarah K]

I'm fine with munches. I help run one. But this was the first play party type of deal I was going to attend.

[icklekitty]

Munches are fucking dull. Plain people talking about how kinky they are, yet lower their voice every time they mention sex.



Also fetishes are generally "weird" things about sex that you're into, and sex on drugs is a pretty weird sex thing so feasibly a fetish. And entirely more entertaining to read than most of what goes on in the Fucking thread lately.

[playwithfire]

..

[Sarah K]

Munches are fucking dull. Plain people talking about how kinky they are, yet lower their voice every time they mention sex.

Haha. We normally just go hang out and do normal people shit. Bowling, movies, dinners, etc. There has only ever been one girl who was like SEX SEX SEX. But she only showed up once.

[icklekitty]

Yeah but, I have friends for that. And we all talk more freely about sex than anyone at a munch. AND THESE FETISH CUNTS WON'T COME TO PRIDE.

[Sarah K]

Yeah. I guess I've kinda used it as a base to MAKE friends, since I'm still pretty new here and all.

And fucking agree on the Pride thing. I don't understand that shit like at all. I volunteered at Brooklyn Pride a couple of weeks back, and was trying to get others. Exactly ONE person asked about it. It's frustrating. I've been too busy with family shit recently to be bothered setting anything up. I think I'll just kinda step back from it. I mean, trying to get people in NYC to plan to do ANYTHING is goddamn impossible. It takes up too much time putting shit together, and I'm annoyed by it. I'll still show up or whatever. But I'm not going to put in the time to organize shit anymore. Fuck 'em.

[somethingelse]

Ugh, why are the nice (http://rubberdawg.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=14) things always so damn expensive!

[Sarah K]

WOW. I had no idea that type of stuff was so spendy.

[somethingelse]

:( Just under 500 Australian with shipping, not including custom work (colours, moulding). I'm not downing the guy's work, I'm sure the quality is worth the money, but fuuuuuu.

[Sarah K]

You can't find anything similar in Australia?

[somethingelse]

Not that I can find. I am a lone wolf, so I haven't joined any local packs to really find out. People whom I have talked to online have pointed out rubberdawg as the best in product and service. Saving is the only option, but bills always take priority. hnnnggg, one day.

[ophelia_]

SAX leather (Australian brand) have some wolf style things but I'm not sure of their range, sorry. Might be worth checking them out and if they don't have anything, emailing to see who could help?

[icklekitty]

So kink.com has basically turned to shit in the past year, huh? What used to be various niches of D/s scenarios is just "random people having sex and sometimes there's a Hitachi around". Pubic Disgrace - same as last time, but this time they're in a pizza shop! Next time they're in an ally! Ooh, kinky(!).

[rhet]

I was just thinking that earlier today. time to move on...any suggestions? or maybe this should be in the spice thread..

[onthewall2983]

So kink.com has basically turned to shit in the past year, huh? What used to be various niches of D/s scenarios is just "random people having sex and sometimes there's a Hitachi around". Pubic Disgrace - same as last time, but this time they're in a pizza shop! Next time they're in an ally! Ooh, kinky(!).

I've gradually given up on porn as a regular thing as of late. Kink started with good intentions but now I think they're becoming more and more like a porn studio rather than something reflective, educational and damn hot for some of us. They're also doing more and more scripted stuff which I hate.

Have you ever seen any of the old Insex or current stuff from HardTied and related sites? Those are way edgier than Kink is now at least.

[icklekitty]

I've not tried either site @onthewall2983 (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=389) - I'll look them up. *edit* meh. It's just plain old bondage and CP.

I've been struggling to find porn that does it for me in general too. I thought it was just me. I've experienced a lot of the things that now turn me on, so porn that is just naked bodies in X scenario doesn't work. Even asstr.org is getting a bit bleh. And my internet at home has been down for the past month, so if anything I was ready to be ravenous!

[onthewall2983]

I wish FetLife would let people peruse each other's "loved" section (the "love" function applies to any picture, video or writing on the site). FL has been pretty much the last resort for me as far as finding porn (if you could call it that since most if not all of it is user-generated) because I go for more real stuff, that real people do.

[icklekitty]

Yeah, that needs to be far more searchable. K&P is once again "oh hai, I lifted up my top in my bedroom and this is what it looks like *giggle*"

[somethingelse]

Chatting to an experienced pup/artist I met on FetLife and learning a LOT about both sides of play. I must say the site so far has been great for meeting and chatting to some nice people.

[icklekitty]

The puppies are the best!

[onthewall2983]

Got a hairbrush perfect for spanking yesterday. Just no one to use it on :(

[Fractal04]

Why do subs always go for the "Daddy" thing. Wow, that's a vibe I don't get at all. I just want a sub, not a pedo-fantasy.

[Sarah K]

Goddamn it, I need my facepalm button back.

It isn't a goddamn pedo fantasy.

[Fractal04]

Ah. Then I must have the wrong idea. Genuinely curious.. enlighten me, if you will? :)

[Sarah K]

Sorry. That sounded kind of twatty.

Well, I think that the first, and most obvious issue of comparing it with pedophilia is that these types of relationships are between two adults, who are of age, who are *consenting* to this dynamic. Nobody is being taken advantage of.

Not all DD exchanges center around age play, either. I absolutely have a bit of a Daddy thing, but I won't participate in any sort of age play dynamic.

Obviously, relationships can mean vastly different things to different people. When I personally think of a Daddy figure, it is someone who is a bit older, stable, and secure. They have an ability to guide, mentor, teach, and punish. Their goals are to help me grow and become a better person. "Nurturing" is a word that comes up a lot.

I don't think it's fair to state that all subs want this dynamic. I don't think it's fair to say even most desire it. Blanket statements about any group of people are usually wrong. Some folks want just a sadist, some want a Master, some want a Dom, some want a Daddy. There is also a pretty big overlap between the groups.

[Fractal04]

No offense taken. :) You are right: I overstated. I certainly know not all subs go for that. My current relationship has no overtones of it. It was prompted by someone contacting me recently who wanted to play, and the Daddy vibe started immediately. So it's on my mind, as I always get disturbed by it. Right, not all subs. I really, really, like your nurturing, guide, explanation. That resonates with me. I've done a fair amount of that. Definitely know what you're saying there. Absolutely right, the ways people play are multi-varied. I definitely overstated.

[tony.parente]

"Fuck me daddy"

Um ok....daughter?


i understand it's not about incest but goddamn you're calling them your father.

[onthewall2983]

For what it's worth, I think it's only weird if you still call your father "daddy" or your mother "mommy". It's something most people grow out of, and so to return to it with a dominant sexual partner makes a kind of sense to me.

[Sarah K]

SEE ABOVE

But Tony, bro... I would wager some money that you're probably as vanilla as vanilla comes.

[tony.parente]

SEE ABOVE

But Tony, bro... I would wager some money that you're probably as vanilla as vanilla comes.
haha it's just a weird thing to me. If a girl called me daddy while we were at it I would immediately be grossed out and lose my bone.

[Sarah K]

It's like literally one of the least "weird" things that occurs in kinky land.

[onthewall2983]

That's understandable, everybody has things which twig them out from the moment. It's interesting how words play a particularly important role in kink of most shades.

[onthewall2983]

It's like literally one of the least "weird" things that occurs in kinky land.

Yes indeed. It gets pretty nasty with some, but as long as they have people who can explore those things with who are equally as interested, who am I to judge?

[Sarah K]

That's understandable, everybody has things which twig them out from the moment. It's interesting how words play a particularly important role in kink of most shades.


YASSSS

Like, I have an INCREDIBLY difficult time with "sir" and "master" to the point of them making me feel physically uncomfortable. "Daddy" comes out about a million times easier. I can get "sir" slapped out of me. But "master" has yet to fall from my mouth.

[onthewall2983]

I can get "sir" slapped out of me.

I bet it could ;)

[icklekitty]

Haha, so I take it my relationship of 3 years with someone 30 years older than me who I call Daddy/Father/Papa and who "raised" me and sneaks into the bedroom (covered in pink and teddy bears) I have at his house to put his hand up my Hello Kitty nightie would gross some of you out?

[jessamineny]

Okay, I swear to whatever deity you believe in that there was a BDSM thread. Can't find it. So anyway: recommendations for online shopping?

It's here. :)

Recommendations are highly dependent on the item(s) you want to buy. Even if it's floggers, depending on the type you want, I'll send you to different places.

[Fractal04]

I can see why some would go for that, for sure. I think my original issue was why (it seems to me) that seems to be such a predominant vibe for subs. Like, a majority. I was just curious about why that seems to me to be so overwhelmingly popular. That's what I was wondering about.

[Sarah K]

I think that's a huge generalization that isn't true.

Plus, people have wants and needs that fluctuate. Like, one time I might need a daddy, and the next month, just give me a sadist without all of the "extra" stuff. I would need a partner who is adaptable, and isn't stuck in one specific role all of the time. People put too much stock in whatever label they have assigned themselves. Just do what feels right.

[onthewall2983]

"Gimp Man of Essex" aiming to spark debate while fundraising (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-essex-29203663).

[Sarah K]

OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE THEFERRETT

Every time I see one of his masturbatory writings hit K & P, I want to cry.

Everyone else seems to fucking LOVE this dude, and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT. He rambles on and on and on without ever actually saying anything. All the while with his smug, shitty attitude. I see his shit on K & P and for some reason, can't stop myself from rage reading portions of it.

GODDAMN IT

[onthewall2983]

Sounds like my LiveJournal postings, except no one gave a shit. Rightly so, I'm sure if I look back on that stuff I'd want to tear my eyeballs out. I've kind of given up on that type of pontificating on sites like FetLife. I'm much more comfortable talking at length about music and other stuff, instead of my opinions. Everyone has them and I'll only share mine if I'm passionate enough about it. Also why I'm kind of holding back on personal stuff as compared to when I was younger and would just write about anything and everything. I thought it helped but it really didn't.

[Sarah K]

I want to light all of his stupid fedoras on fire.

I will say that he always has great nail polish, though. If he does them himself, it's very impressive.

[jessamineny]

He's been around *forever*... from back in the LiveJournal days of the early aughts.

[The_Prowler]

I've got two pair of police grade handcuffs, a very nice blindfold, some rope and a bed that's practically made for bondage, and no one to use them with.

I'm a sad monkey :(

[ophelia_]

OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE THEFERRETT

Every time I see one of his masturbatory writings hit K & P, I want to cry.

Everyone else seems to fucking LOVE this dude, and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT. He rambles on and on and on without ever actually saying anything. All the while with his smug, shitty attitude. I see his shit on K & P and for some reason, can't stop myself from rage reading portions of it.

GODDAMN IT

The Ferrett is a bit of a douche, but as long as he continues fighting with "Master" James, I will continue to like him... I've known James in real life for quite a few years now and he pretty much a joke within the Sydney scene (he reckons he runs Australias first and only "house", lol) and it's hilarious seeing him act so high and mighty on Fetlife. It's great though, because it gives us something to bitch about at munches. Smh.

[Sarah K]

The Ferrett is a bit of a douche, but as long as he continues fighting with "Master" James, I will continue to like him... I've known James in real life for quite a few years now and he pretty much a joke within the Sydney scene (he reckons he runs Australias first and only "house", lol) and it's hilarious seeing him act so high and mighty on Fetlife. It's great though, because it gives us something to bitch about at munches. Smh.

Yeah. FUCK that guy. I forget what he posted one time... Some awful, woman hating shit. I responded politely, but disagreed, and he instantly blocked me. But I saw the "I've never deepthroated, but this is how you do it, hold your barf in, etc" rage not too long ago. Which made me lol.

[somethingelse]

I had my first pup session not long ago and I must say I quite enjoyed the head space that came with it. It is very hard (pun intended) to NOT say anything and stay in pup mode, but it also made it that much more exciting.

[ophelia_]

Yeah. FUCK that guy. I forget what he posted one time... Some awful, woman hating shit. I responded politely, but disagreed, and he instantly blocked me. But I saw the "I've never deepthroated, but this is how you do it, hold your barf in, etc" rage not too long ago. Which made me lol.

Lol yeah! And I've seen his gf "deepthroat" him on my rooftop at a party one time, his version of deepthroating and actual deepthroating are very different. Gawd, he's the most abusive piece of shit ever.

[The_Prowler]

I have no idea who the hell you guys are talking about, and I'm getting the distinct impression that I should be very, very thankful for that.

[Sarah K]

Douchy fetlifers who write a lot of entries. They're on like total opposite ends of the douche spectrum, though.

Ferrett is just annoying, self congratulatory, and kinda condescending(in my opinion, anyway - most other people enjoy him). James is just a straight up misogynist.

[Sarah K]

So, I think I'm going to attend a party on Friday. Ugh. I attempted to go to my first one a few months back, and shit fell through. I've been waiting for a smaller one to pop up that people within my circle will be attending, and I found one. I messaged to the host to make sure it is cool that I just attend as a learner/observer/socializing person, and not an active participant, and she says that is totally fine.

BUT, I feel a little weird about it because it is kinda described as "bring weed and alcohol". I have no issues with weed or alcohol. But I don't necessarily think that they should be present, or at least not encouraged at a play party. Like, the price is cheaper if you bring weed and/or alcohol. Just seems like a recipe for people to make shitty choices.

Am I uptight?

[onthewall2983]

May I ask if this is being held in a private residence? I've been to a few play parties at the local swinger's club and I didn't see anything stronger than Pepsi.

[Sarah K]

Yes... It is in a home.

[onthewall2983]

I'd probably be a little uptight if I were in your shoes. I'd ask the person who's invited about it, and maybe call them out on the dangers inherent if people mix play with inebriation.

[jessamineny]

No, you're not uptight at all.

With all of the private parties I've been to, the rules of the party were always a direct reflection on the atmosphere the host wanted to encourage. It makes me assume that this party is more swinger-ish in nature.

If I were to get there and find it's a party that encourages heavy play, at the same time that weed and alcohol are being actively encouraged, that would definitely make me uncomfortable, too.

[jessamineny]

I'd probably be a little uptight if I were in your shoes. I'd ask the person who's invited about it, and maybe call them out on the dangers inherent if people mix play with inebriation.

I think if Sarah knows people who have been to the party before, it's a great idea to ask them about what they've experienced. But it's a private party, and the host is the queen/king -- it can be a meth and bondage party if that's the party they want to throw; you can't really lecture someone on the rules and atmosphere of their own party. To me, the appropriate response is just not attending.

[Sarah K]

Well, it is the first time that this person is hosting a get together, from what I gather.

[Sarah K]

I ended up going with my friend.

It was basically one of the most horrible social experiences of my life.

[onthewall2983]

I ended up going with my friend.

It was basically one of the most horrible social experiences of my life.

I'm sorry to hear that :(

[onthewall2983]

15 Photos Reveal What BDSM, Kink and Fetishism Really Look Like (http://mic.com/articles/104382/15-photos-show-what-fetishism-really-looks-like?utm_content=buffer47d02&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer) (a little NSFW, obviously).

[The_Prowler]

http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/4-ways-50-shades-grey-film-worse-than-you-expect

For everyone who thinks it's a beautiful love story and will be a wonderful, romantic movie. Seems like it'll make Twilight look Oscar worthy by comparison.

[onthewall2983]

I had a weird dream last night that I went to the movie and all they did was dress up in grey spandex suits and wrestle.

[Sarah K]

That sounds like a much better movie.

[onthewall2983]

I am actively hoping this will bomb, and I think it very well could too. Twilight could get away with being stupid in part because it was appealing to hormonal teenagers. This is aiming for an adult audience, granted a young adult audience who probably were some of those very same teens but maybe it'll seem like "been there done that" to them too.

I won't be leery at anyone reading this who does go and see it, but count on me dusting off my Secretary DVD that night.

[The_Prowler]

I've never actually seen The Secretary, but I've wanted to for years. After 50 Shades came out, a lot of people started coming out of the woodwork talking about how that movie gave a much more realistic view on what a true BDSM relationship is like. And James Spader is just one of those guys I'll happily watch in damn near anything because he's just that awesome.

[Sarah K]

Bitches have been looking forward to this movie since before it was even announced. I will be shocked if it doesn't do extremely well.

Secretary of good. A bit overhyped. But still enjoyable.

[onthewall2983]

It's about as positive a portrayal of it that I've seen in any movie, made in America anyway. It uses BDSM as character development, not for cheap thrills or low-ball comedy.

[icklekitty]

I agree, despite the fact that James Spader fully scares the shit out of me. I've bookmarked onthewall2983's post to share when the shite one comes out.

[onthewall2983]

What amazed me about it the first time I saw it, is how much he turns the creep level down. His character is flawed and distant but not the least bit malevolent. It may just be what I have in common with the character, but that was my biggest takeaway from it.

[The_Prowler]

Bitches have been looking forward to this movie since before it was even announced. I will be shocked if it doesn't do extremely well.

Secretary of good. A bit overhyped. But still enjoyable.
Oh, it's going to make a FUCK-ton of money. It's a horrible representation of the lifestyle, but somehow it's still acceptable porn for housewives and people who don't know any better. Remember how much Twilight made despite it getting nothing but negative reviews from anyone over the age of about 17? The only reason my sister and her friends went to see them was to turn it into a drinking game (whenever someone unnecessarily took off their shirt, they'd take a shot... they all needed their husbands to come pick their drunk asses up from the theater). But then again, most of the Harry Potter movies made more money separately than all four Twilight films made combined, so there's hope.

[onthewall2983]

It's R rated which means that it has to depend on the adult audience it's supposedly aiming (though you just know there are hordes of teenagers who will eat that shit up when it comes out on DVD, or even sneak in). If the word-of-mouth is as bad as the link may suggest, it could hurt it's chances a little. Or I'm just being hopeful.

[ophelia_]

I ended up going with my friend.

It was basically one of the most horrible social experiences of my life.

Oh no, why so bad?

[Sarah K]

Well, on three different occasions, men began hitting me with objects without even being like "Hey" or "Hi". Like, just came up to me and started hitting me with shit. And I wasn't in the playroom at all. I was just walking around the other parts talking to people. At one point, I was sitting down and talking to someone on my right. Someone on the other side of my the hit me in the fucking face with a crop. Thinking that it was an accident, I turned around and looked at him, thinking he would apologize, and he just smiled. A girl who I was talking to a lot wanted me to "take a picture" with her, and a guy came up behind us with floggers.

Note that none of this was hard enough to cause pain or anything. It was just REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING since this is a crowd that is generally really concerned with consent. I think the drinking and weed had a lot to do with it. People were even doing Molly and shit. I mean, I'm a pretty big fan of all three of those things. But just not in a situation like this.

I tried to leave at like 1:00, but the train had stopped running at midnight for construction. The dude I rode with was like "Yeah, yeah, we'll leave soon", and we didn't end up leaving until 7:15 in the goddamn morning.

Also, and this is probably a weird thing on my part, but people just coming up and being like "What are you" is weird to me. Like, I understand the question and the intention behind it. It's just a personal thing to ask someone before you even know their name. Another annoying thing was the whole not taking no for an answer thing. Basically as soon as dudes started talking to me, I made it clear that I was not interested in playing. But I still got asked multiple times.

I'm probably nitpicking. It just wasn't what I had envisioned in my mind.

[icklekitty]

hit me in the fucking face with a crop

what the fuck

[ophelia_]

Jesus christ... That sounds like a nightmare. Sorry you had to put up with all that crap.

[The_Prowler]

People need to learn some goddamn respect. No one should be in a situation like that, because a situation like that shouldn't even exist in the first place.

[onthewall2983]

I don't partake in any of what was imbibed at your party, I'm not straight-edge either, but I am really not well at ease if there's that kind of thing going on at events like these. At a munch is one thing, it's just people sitting around talking and maybe a demonstration or two. But at a play party, I can see how things can go from what Sarah experienced to worse really quick.

[Sarah K]

Well, not to mention it was a sausage fest, so it kinda upped it to a fucking competition. There were 5 women all together(including me, so technically 4 who were participating), and maybe 25 dudes or so.

Lol. What a clusterfuck. I can chuckle about it now. But I was REAL PISSED that night.

[onthewall2983]

And I bet most if not all those guys were straight too. If they weren't, then it might have been something I'd never want to leave. On certain days anyway lol.

[Sarah K]

Yeah... Like a year ago, that would have been a dream come true for me. Lol. Oh, how quickly things change.

[Sarah K]

Like the last month or so, I've been really super interested in bootblacking, and I'm not sure why. It isn't something that I've ever even been around. But I find myself drawn to and fascinated by it for some reason.

[The_Prowler]

Like the last month or so, I've been really super interested in bootblacking, and I'm not sure why. It isn't something that I've ever even been around. But I find myself drawn to and fascinated by it for some reason.
I have no idea what that is. Care to enlighten me?

I'm fully aware that I could look it up online in about ten seconds, but I have a feeling that an ETSer could make it so much more interesting and entertaining than a simple Google search.

[Sarah K]

I have no idea what that is. Care to enlighten me?

I'm fully aware that I could look it up online in about ten seconds, but I have a feeling that an ETSer could make it so much more interesting and entertaining than a simple Google search.

Sub service of... bootblacking. Lol

Shining boots(and other leather goods) of dominants in the scene. I like tasks and service. And I'm super super drawn to the whole "I am sitting above you, now you will do this for me" aspect of it.

I also feel this could be a good way for me to actually be INVOLVED at parties and such. I don't want to bottom at a party. But I think I would shine the shit out of some fucking boots if someone taught me in the proper way.

[Sutekh]

Anyone see the amendment to the ATVOD legislation that crept in this morning?

It's now illegal in the UK to depict watersports, female ejaculation, facesitting, caning or spanking above a light level, full knuckle fisting and depictions of people bound & gagged or simulated non consensual situations

Fucking. Fascists. Criminalising the innocent and harmless to prop up moral posturing

[The_Prowler]

Sub service of... bootblacking. Lol

Shining boots(and other leather goods) of dominants in the scene. I like tasks and service. And I'm super super drawn to the whole "I am sitting above you, now you will do this for me" aspect of it.

I also feel this could be a good way for me to actually be INVOLVED at parties and such. I don't want to bottom at a party. But I think I would shine the shit out of some fucking boots if someone taught me in the proper way.
As interested as I am in dominance and submission, I never knew that that's actually a thing a master will have his or her servant do. I guess I should have known, but it just never really occurred to me.

[Sarah K]

As interested as I am in dominance and submission, I never knew that that's actually a thing a master will have his or her servant do. I guess I should have known, but it just never really occurred to me.

It's carried over from some old school shit, I do believe. Back when everything was much more formal, and positions had to be earned.

[The_Prowler]

It's carried over from some old school shit, I do believe. Back when everything was much more formal, and positions had to be earned.
Makes perfect sense, actually. The whole dominance and submissive thing probably started back with the upper classes and royals long before the Marquis de Sade became the one who was truly notorious and infamous for it (even though the things he did, in reality, were nowhere near the shit we'e come up with in the last fifty years). Shit, it's probably been going on as long as social classes have been a thing.

[onthewall2983]

Anyone see the amendment to the ATVOD legislation that crept in this morning?

It's now illegal in the UK to depict watersports, female ejaculation, facesitting, caning or spanking above a light level, full knuckle fisting and depictions of people bound & gagged or simulated non consensual situations

Fucking. Fascists. Criminalising the innocent and harmless to prop up moral posturing

I saw a few things about it this morning. What's ironic to me is that the most successful BDSM porn studio in the US right now, Kink.com, was founded and is being run by a Brit. The more people want to shove things like this down, the more it pops up elsewhere.

[Sutekh]

- and the reason he is over there is because this country is becoming so legally uptight. So well done government for driving business, employment and tax money away... truly they have our best interests at heart

[The_Prowler]

Well, what I'm finding kind of hilarious is the fact that things like that are happening the world over. Everyone's getting more uptight and conservative about sex and sexuality. Laws, bills, bans, and all these other things are cropping up to stifle anything sex related, even when it's not directly related to sex.
And yet the sex industry (porn, toys, magazines, videos, clubs, clothes, etc...) is currently in a golden age never before seen. It reaches billions of people all over the world and people are experiencing and experimenting with so many things that it boggles the mind. It's actually reminding me of the whole controversy with the PMRC back in the eighties; in an effort to keep people from buying "filthy" music, they demanded that a warning label be put on the record. The only thing it did was increase sales, so the whole current issue with trying to make sex and sexuality a shameful thing is strikingly parallel to what happened there. In some ways, we're far worse about it than most periods in history that are falsely known for being prudish. The Romans were far less debauched than we think, but the Victorians? They were some nasty sons of bitches. Historians have found erotic literature from that time period that would make Larry Flint blush, and that shit was widespread, too.

[onthewall2983]

What I'm curious about now is how this will affect, if at all, the release of 50 Shades of Grey in the UK.

[aggroculture]

Anyone see the amendment to the ATVOD legislation that crept in this morning?

It's now illegal in the UK to depict watersports, female ejaculation, facesitting, caning or spanking above a light level, full knuckle fisting and depictions of people bound & gagged or simulated non consensual situations

Fucking. Fascists. Criminalising the innocent and harmless to prop up moral posturing

This really really depresses me. Facesitting? Female ejaculation? What in the flying fuck.
Takes me back to the days when hardcore porn was illegal in the UK: yes illegal. Late 90s, buying bootleg US VHS tapes in Berwick Street. Fucking UK.
Huuge step backwards.

[Sarah K]

None of that porn depicting women liking sex shit.

Lol. This doesn't even sound real.