View Full Version : Disaster Recovery Report for Year Zero as of 8/17/14

09-10-2014, 01:08 AM
When I awoke this morning, I discovered the following in my garbage can. I’m not sure if it is a request for a salary increase, a resignation letter or a suicide note. It was accompanied by an unused box of condoms. I believe Brezhnev to be an alias of Trent Reznor and Krushchev an alias for [admin edit].

TO: Leonid Brezhnev
FROM: Nikita Khrushchev
SUBJECT: Disaster Recovery Report for Year Zero as of 8/17/14

Leonid, my greatest asset as an investigator is my natural tendency to be Holden Caulfield which very directly determined the course my investigation would take. No one knows me. I never felt the need for the world at large to know me and I never deluded myself into thinking that anyone gave a shit about me outside of being a tool for their own personal use. Unfortunately, this led to the stubbornly persistent concept that I need psychiatric care and perhaps permanent institutionalization. While still utterly dumbfounded by the perseverance of this belief, I have proof (if seen only by myself) that I am the only sane person in my current planetary orbit. Of course that is the opposition’s main argument that I am wrong – that I am the only person who holds this belief.

Since signing off on what appeared to me to be a girlfriend agreement on the Downward Spiral website in April 2007, my life has entered into the realm of the surreal. When I first saw the agreement, my immediate reaction was WTF? followed by laughter. Unfortunately, I was running off to work on a case when I got it and did not have the time to read it thoroughly. I hit “agree” and thought I would go back and read it later when I had more time. But as it is with all on-line agreements that no one ever reads, I was never able to find it again. This concerned me at the time, but as I would not be provided access to the website without signing it and all I really wanted to do was get laid, I did not take the full implications to heart. That said, from what I remember it included being a CIA covert operative, a reality game, possible psychiatric hospitalization, drug therapy, and death and dismemberment which at the time seemed to me to be a perfectly reasonable assumption for a girlfriend agreement with a famous musician. As I am rapidly approaching death and dismemberment, I thought it appropriate to provide a very brief summary of some of what has transpired. As there is no privacy or security or guarantee of the validity of information contained within electronic devices, internet websites, cell phones and no guarantee of the level of intelligence, understanding and integrity of any person reading it, I see no reason to make any effort at taking steps towards confidentially.

I have tested nearly every level I could think of to disrupt ______, ______, _______, friends, family members, the police force, the fire brigade, ADT, the phone companies, ____.com, ______.com, _____.com, _____.com (both the user interface and tech support) tech support for anything I could think of that happened to come my way, the County and State Police, the FBI, Homeland Security, the CIA, the KGB, Monster, Better Business Bureau, the Post Office and the Shadow Government among others. At this point, I believe the only functional system is that of the Shadow Government as everything else is fucked up beyond recognition. I was surprised by the depth, breadth and persistence of this aforementioned fucked up-ness. The question is more where did it fall over and how many times and whether I will achieve success in identifying and arresting the appropriate guilty parties before my own personal death due to the stupidity of those I appear to be responsible for and what to do about the well intentioned clueless vs. the truly unfixably stupid. I am not confident that this will happen.

Briefly, ________ union needs to be destroyed. Their processes are excellent. Whoever wrote them had a clue what needed to happen. The people implementing them are political, interested only in protecting their retirement funding and overtime compensation and are basically bilking the company and military for every penny they can get and are provided union protection for doing so. ____ is blocked from hiring additional, talented people due to their inability to pay anything close to minimum wage for a non-union temporary employee due to the union contract they are forced to negotiate, their inability to bring on new people permanently, and the unwillingness of tenured employees to bring in someone who may know more than what they don’t know. Never call for service, technical support or billing. Get an attorney.

________ and _________ report has been provided privately. I believe they will work towards remediation of that which is possible.

Chicago is determining the national political climate and it is being run by a bunch of Polish Muslim women. It is best that the 1% start taking control of dead people voting twice and realize they are the one’s that need to fix the elections – not lesbian feminists. If the famous, self-published book report specialist Lisa Lilly continues on her crusade of lying her ass off, she will be the next President of the United States in the same manner as Barak Obama. That is, after Hillary Clinton gives everyone a meaningful touch on the arm and allows the Ukraine, Iraq, Vietnam, and China to become the next Bengazi.

My recommendation to resolve the issues that I have come across is to legalize marijuana, remove any platform that allows stupidity to go viral in an unchecked manner and allows spyware to be distributed, laugh your ass off whenever possible and fuck like there is no tomorrow because it is only a matter of time before Fukishima hits Chicago, 9/11 happens in Ukraine, Pearl Harbor happens in South-End-On-Sea, Cairo happens in Ottowa, Canada, the Faulkland Islands happens in South Africa, Apartheid happens in Germany, the Cuban Missile Crisis happens in New Zealand, the Holocaust happens in America and we are all lined up in front of a ______ firing squad because pornography is illegal under Communism or Dictatorship. Or worse yet, you and I are lobotomized because stupid reigns the world over due to lesbian polish women that need to feminize _______ and the world at large rather than understand the language of Italian Stallion. If we stone the shit out of humanity with good quality marijuana, at least they will be passive and stupid and will never know what hit them…maybe that was the point of Jonestown after all…

Mr. Brezhnev, would you care to join me for a cup of coffee? As it may prove difficult to identify one another in a safe and appropriate way, I will provide hand written instructions on how to find Waldo along with appropriate identification as soon as I find the opportunity. If you can do anything on your end to help facilitate contact, please do so. At this point, I believe it is necessary to escalate to God because Camelot doesn’t stand a chance all because I, Johnny Chamberlain’s daughter, gave Paul Stepan Sr’s adopted son a blow job in 1992.


09-10-2014, 02:02 AM

Ten characters.

09-10-2014, 02:18 AM
More ARG...?

09-10-2014, 02:20 AM

09-10-2014, 02:44 AM

09-10-2014, 03:17 AM
Ohhhh, okay. Got it.

Thanks for clarifying.

09-10-2014, 07:08 AM
I don't get it.

09-10-2014, 07:46 AM
You will... ;)

09-10-2014, 07:48 AM
It might also be known as the "Cupid Missle Crisis"...

09-10-2014, 07:50 AM
It should be hilarious to those in the know at Cisco Systems and why me, their cybersecurity expert/network engineer was fired from Cisco Systems San Jose and their HR department Aon-Hewitt in Chicago...

09-10-2014, 07:50 AM
Just hoping I've made it to West Berlin before it hits..

09-10-2014, 08:32 AM
Does this belong in "tour" forum?

09-10-2014, 09:10 AM
Hi folks. Without going into too much personal detail, Dillweed2 is a member of ETS from a while ago who occasionally has this happen to her. Normally it's something she has help with, but I'm guessing that help's not there at the moment. I regret not asking for contact information last time I spoke with her about her condition. As evidenced by our mental health thread (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/2294-The-Mental-Health-thread-depression-bipolar-ADHD-you-name-it), I think Echoing the Sound is very sympathetic and helpful to our members who have mental health issues. That's what's going on here, and I ask that as future posts come up, don't be antagonistic - I know no one's intentionally antagonizing here, but I just want to clarify what's going on a little bit. Thanks - and next time, I'll get her emergency contacts.