Body Image

[Charmingly Miserable]

So, reading the latest posts on the Fucking Thread got me thinking about body image. While obesity is on the rise here in America, what is your personal opinion on who is fat and who isn't? Is a little cushion for the pushin acceptable or only skinniness is acceptable? Do you feel comfortable in your own body?

I'm 5'1" and I'm a size 10/12. That makes me short and curvy. At times, I battle with myself that I'm way too fat and that there is no way that I can land a relationship/job/etc because of my size. Then again, at other times, I don't think much of it because I am one in 42.5% (http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html) of Hispanics who are overweight. While I realize that this is just purely a mental distortion, I can't help but to wonder about my body image.

Just would like to know what your thoughts are on this.

[Ryan]

My thoughts are... it doesn't matter how you look as long as alcohol exists.

[Sarah K]

The average size in the US for women is now 14. So, you're actually on the small side.

I'm huge! Lol... as in, I've lost 130 pounds, and could still lose 100 more, most likely. When I stopped doing drugs, I started eating EVERYTHING, and I fucked myself. However, I am now at a lower weight than what I was in high school - so I've always been giant.

I have no illusions that I'll ever be skinny and prancing around in a bikini or anything. I just want to find a healthier place. I'll be 30 this year, so I feel some urgency on this back end of the weight loss. I feel like if I don't do it within the next couple of years, I realistically never will.

I've touched on this on facebook before - how there is a pretty dark and ugly side to big weight loss. The skin issues. They never address that shit on the tv shows. I find myself reaching a tipping point... wondering if it is better to stay where I am, and just be a fat person who is pretty comfotable being naked... or keep working towards losing weight, and end up having to deal with the self image that will be created when I have to deal with shitty, loose skin everywhere.

You're fucked either way.

[Fixer808]

5'7" or so, 215lbs or so. Do not like my current weight for health and aesthetic reasons. But what can I do? Work out like a fiend and try to drop 40lbs? Do nothing and maybe gain some?
I'm 33, I've already exceeded a medieval lifespan, so... SCORE!

[icklekitty]

I'm 4ft 10 and 32f. Nothing else matters.

I don't know why but I've never been that plagued by body image. Maybe it all washed over me from growing up with an overly critical mother, but I look the way I look and if you don't like the way I look then don't put your genitals near me.

[theimage13]

I'm a dude. A little shy of 5'9", and barely pushing 140lb.

If you're thinking "I wish I was thin," kindly shove it. Part of the reason the best relationship of my life ended is that her parents, being from another country where "manliness" is a huge deal, looked down on me as "anorexic" and "pathetic", which got into her head and played a large role in our demise (ironic, since from the start she was saying "good thing you're not overweight - health and fitness are extremely important to me and added weight tells me you're not interested in treating your body well). Sigh. For my own reasons (namely, being healthy and being able to better live and work as a roadie without getting sick or injured), I go to the gym several times a week to lift, and add cardio in as well. If I gain any definition in the process, that's just a bonus.

As for what I'm attracted to? I think growing up the scrawny guy made me long for the same sort of frame in a woman. Between my own stature and my passion for fitness, an active lifestyle, and generally treating yourself well, I'm extremely attracted to women who look like they're the sort you'd run into at the gym or out running on a Saturday morning instead of sleeping off a night of binge drinking. But there definitely is such a thing as too small, in my book. I was working with some models for an athletic apparel photo shoot recently, and while none of them looked like they were underweight to a point of being unhealthy, there's something to be said about having some meat on your bones.

I'll be honest: if your doctor would call you obese, I'm not physically attracted to you. I do not believe that that makes you universally unattractive. I'm just one guy. I have several friends who are younger than me, married to people literally twice my weight, and overwhelmingly in love with each other. Being single for the vast majority of my life, I'm envious of that, and I wish that my brain didn't make me so damn picky about what I find attractive. But I know that a healthy long term relationship requires you to not only love the person for their personality, but there has to be a little bit of sexual pull as well. For what it's worth: you can have a body that drives me wild, but if you're acting in an unflattering manner or we just don't get along at all, I'm not going to be interested in you. Looks matter, but not as much as who you are.

[Ryan]

I'm 4ft 10 and 32f. Nothing else matters.

I don't know why but I've never been that plagued by body image. Maybe it all washed over me from growing up with an overly critical mother, but I look the way I look and if you don't like the way I look then don't put your genitals near me.

She is what we call an ickle English meatball.

[Tony Gordon]

So, reading the latest posts on the Fucking Thread got me thinking about body image. While obesity is on the rise here in America, what is your personal opinion on who is fat and who isn't? Is a little cushion for the pushin acceptable or only skinniness is acceptable? Do you feel comfortable in your own body?

I'm 5'1" and I'm a size 10/12. That makes me short and curvy. At times, I battle with myself that I'm way too fat and that there is no way that I can land a relationship/job/etc because of my size. Then again, at other times, I don't think much of it because I am one in 42.5% (http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/adult.html) of Hispanics who are overweight. While I realize that this is just purely a mental distortion, I can't help but to wonder about my body image.

Just would like to know what your thoughts are on this.


First off, obesity is not accurately "on the rise". It's always been. America is the most over weight country in the world, and they own that statistic by a huge margin, much like the military and prison industrial complex statistics.

It all goes back to capitalism. If people wanted to fight obesity, it's impossible when every holiday in this country revolves around spending a bunch of money and stuffing your face, with Christmas being the big outcome that they all build up to.

You shouldn't feel bad for being "big". The main reason that obesity should be a problem is for health reasons. It has it's hazards with health and that's it but you really are not that big. Don't feel bad about yourself, we all look like shit.

[liquidcalm]

I always thought I was short and kinda fat... but when I began actually opening up about me not liking myself / my body image... I have quickly realised (or been told at least) that being 5ft 8 and being 10 stone is actually on the slim side, I know I'm not that fit, but yeah, I'm not fat... issues are odd.

[eversonpoe]

i was anorexic & bulimic in high school for a multitude of reasons, and have still occasionally struggled with those issues as an adult.

a lot of it stems from my gender dysmorphia, because i simply don't see what i expect to see when i look in the mirror, but there are definitely other contributing factors.

[Big Fat Matt]

Being overweight is kinda cool because the cold doesn't bother me. I'm fine with how I look to myself, but the biggest hurdle is not just being wide, but also very tall (I'm about 6'5" 320lbs). 0.2% of bands sells shirts that are in a 4xlt. Good thing Casual Male XL stocks shirts of classic rock bands I like.

[Ryan]

I used to be skinny as a rake, then I drank lots of beer and put on a bit of a gut and a bit of facial flab I need to work off. Aside from that I'm happy, apart from being 5'6" but whatcha gonna do. I'm taller than Danzig so I'm happy.

[Sarah K]

Being overweight is kinda cool because the cold doesn't bother me.

This is a fat person benefit that I missed out on. I'm always shivering.

[Sarah K]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstein/shape-magazine-refused-to-let-this-woman-wear-a-bikini-on-it

RELEVANT TO MY FIRST POST

[allegro]

First off, obesity is not accurately "on the rise". It's always been.
That's not true. We haven't "always" been obese in this country.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCUbvOwwfWM&feature=youtu.be

[Charmingly Miserable]

I'm a dude. A little shy of 5'9", and barely pushing 140lb.

If you're thinking "I wish I was thin," kindly shove it.
My ex husband is 5'10" and wishes he was 140 lbs. Needless to say, he was on the thin side.

I think, for me, my idealistic weight would be about 30 lbs lighter. I would still be considered overweight, but I like my Hispanic curves.

I think that geography influences body image. I mean, I live in Southern California, and we are kinda vain. However, I also think that cultural heritage also influences body image too. I'm Hispanic, and we like our curves.

[Sarah K]

I get real pissed when fat people say shit like LOL EAT A SANDWICH LOL about thin people. These sre the same people who are constantly making a fuss about how they are always being "shamed" for their weight, but don't realize/care that they are doing the exact same thing to those on the other end of the spectrum.

I also hate any saying that begins with REAL WOMEN HAVE... god. What a shitty thing to say. Real women come in all shapes, sizes, and bodies.

[eversonpoe]

I also hate any saying that begins with REAL WOMEN HAVE... god. What a shitty thing to say. Real women come in all shapes, sizes, and bodies.

indeed. some women even have penises. gender (along with self) is a very personal thing and i hate it when people try to define it for others.

[theimage13]

I also hate any saying that begins with REAL WOMEN HAVE... god. What a shitty thing to say. Real women come in all shapes, sizes, and bodies.

I try to avoid ads as much as possible, but I thought all these "real women" campaigns were supposed to be about just that - "real women" meaning all shapes, sizes, and bodies. Am I completely missing something here?

[Sarah K]

I don't mean the ad campaigns. I mean when people say shit like "Real women have curves".

Well, fucking no, they don't. Some women are born with no curves at all. That doesn't make them less than anyone else.

Like, I guess I understand the vague message behind it - to promote positivity for bodies. But I don't think promoting one body type has to mean excluding others.

[allegro]

"Real Women [insert whatever message here]" = bullshit.

[allegro]

or keep working towards losing weight, and end up having to deal with the self image that will be created when I have to deal with shitty, loose skin everywhere.
My cousin had that skin-removal surgery, she said she looks great, now. She didn't do it for anybody else's body image of her, she did it for herself. As like a gift, I guess.

[BrownEyedStatistic]

If you're fat. You're fat.
If you're skinny. You're skinny.

But just because you're fat, doesn't mean you are not pretty.
Just because you're skinny, does not mean you're pretty either.

And losing weight doesn't make everyone look better.
Nor does gaining weight.

I've been on both ends of the spectrum.
And I've seen all parts of the spectrum.

I don't feel anymore attractive than I have before.
But I do see people as far less attractive than I have before.
I do feel more feminine.
And I my viewpoint of what's feminine and masculine has changed.
But it's not because I've lost weight.
It is the distribution of my weight.

[Sarah K]

My cousin had that skin-removal surgery, she said she looks great, now. She didn't do it for anybody else's body image of her, she did it for herself. As like a gift, I guess.

Yeah. I have nothing against the surgeries or anything. If that day ever comes, I would totally be down for them. It's just the cost... it isn't something that is ever realistically going to be in my budget.

[playwithfire]

This is wonderful.

http://vimeo.com/94364919

[eversonpoe]

When I watch American Psycho, and he's banging those two prostitutes and flexing in the mirror, I really identify with that part. Maybe because I grew up on Genesis and Phil Collins?

I'm completely comfortable with my body image. I work out when my schedule permits and pay attention to what I'm putting inside me. But I honestly couldn't give a fuck less what anyone thinks of my appearance. The notion that I'm busting my ass to appeal to strangers or society is absolutely ludicrous. If you're going to judge me at a moment's notice on how I look, then you aren't worth a moment of my time. You live for yourself, not for anyone else.

I refuse to fall in with that self-conscious rat race that seemingly dominates so many people's lives. Look good and feel good for yourself, and no one else.

when i read that first sentence, i got worried a little. and then your joke made me laugh and i relaxed. haha

i totally agree with you. the problem comes with the "look good and feel good for yourself" bit, because if you're not happy with how you look/feel, sometimes it is REALLY hard to get out of it.

my fiancee and i both gained weight after we started dating, and as of this month, we've been together for three years. we're getting married in september, and we both want to look and feel our best.
she hates her job (which takes up 11 hours of her day, including commute time) and almost always comes home upset. she then either doesn't have the energy or the time to exercise. she (like me) uses food as a tactic to cheer herself up, so half the time we have a healthy(ish) dinner planned, but end up eating tacos or pizza.
i've been trying to be better about not enabling her, because i am always so inclined to just want her to feel better immediately, thus abandoning the plans for healthy food and going for unhealthy food so that she's not miserable for the rest of the night (we only get about 4 hours a night together before she goes to sleep because she has to get up early for her job).
i try to ride my bike as much as possible so that i don't have to exercise at home, but sometimes i exercise at the same time as her to help give her some motivation.
the other big problem for me is that i hate vegetables (other than green beans, tomatoes, & cucumbers). i love food and i refuse to make myself eat something i don't enjoy, so i just try really hard to not eat too much junk. and i eat about 1/2 as much dessert as i used to eat.

anyway, what i'm saying is that getting oneself to a place of positive body image can be a very difficult thing. but with the right motivation, we're going to do it.

(and for the record, i actually love the way she looks now, but if she's uncomfortable with herself, i'm going to encourage her to get to a place where she's not)

[playwithfire]

My boyfriend and I would both like to be in better shape, but we're both super attracted to each other. I love his body and I don't give a shit if he loses weight. I'm insecure, but I hope and think he feel similarly.

My body image isn't always the greatest, but I try to love and accept myself.

That said, I want to get in better shape and plan to start taking burlesque classes in June.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I struggle with who would want do date my short and "chubby" self. But that's just me being totally insecure. I'm sure I have the body of a goddess in someone's eyes. I have big brown eyes and lips to lust over for. I know looks don't mean everything but they sure do help. *Sigh* I'm just acting like a teenager, I guess.

[Sarah K]

POST PICS IN THR PIC THREAD

Ugh. I have a really hard time differentiating between people here, because I can't put faces with names.

[Charmingly Miserable]

POST PICS IN THR PIC THREAD

Ugh. I have a really hard time differentiating between people here, because I can't put faces with names.
Really stupid question: Wait, we have one????

[Sarah K]

http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/76-Narcissism-and-Voyeurism-X

[Charmingly Miserable]

Sarah K and anyone else mildly interested in my insecurity.

This is what my size 10/12 (11/13 if you shop in Juniors) looks like on me. (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/76-Narcissism-and-Voyeurism-X?p=184477#post184477)

[Fixer808]

That said, I want to get in better shape and plan to start taking burlesque classes in June.
I've been to a few burlesque shows, they're always a lot of fun. PUT THOSE BACKWARD KICKS TO USE.

As for me, I REALLY should get back to the gym. My ex just broke up with her fiancee (he's an utter dickhead who was emotionally abusing her towards the end) and she wants to get healthy again after losing her sense of self worth in said relationship. So I'm thinking the two of us should do the mutually supportive regimen thing! It started yesterday, in a way, when I helped her move out of his place. 40 trips up and down the stairs to his 2nd floor place? My thighs are kinda burning today.

[playwithfire]

@Sarah K (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=3236) and anyone else mildly interested in my insecurity.

This is what my size 10/12 (11/13 if you shop in Juniors) looks like on me. (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/76-Narcissism-and-Voyeurism-X?p=184477#post184477)

I'm basically the same size as you, also you're hot.

I'd also like to point out that some of us are attracted to curvier bodies -- and that it's not us overlooking shit.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I'm basically the same size as you, also you're hot.

I'd also like to point out that some of us are attracted to curvier bodies -- and that it's not us overlooking shit.
Thanks! It means a lot to me. I know that I get insecure. Maybe it's because that I'm not in a LTR that I think that my appearance has something to do with it. Then again, I get gawked at all the time (I'm not trying to be conceited here).

I really appreciate those who like curvier bodies- men and women!!!

[sukey]

I never really used to care about being overweight and then I lost 20kg and BOOM it opened up a whole can of body image worms. It’s weird. I’m more dissatisfied/messed up about food now than I ever was when I was fat.

(For context I’m 5’9”, used to weigh 84kg (185lbs) and now I’m hovering around 65kg (143lbs).)

[Pillfred]

Confidence is what i find sexy. My long term ex was heavy by standards but carried it well imo. The last girl i dated was tall and a bit heavy as well but man was she a sexy beast. I myself was always a fat kid imo, looking back at old photos i realize that while i carried weight mainly due to a smaller frame (my mom is tiny) i wasn't really that fat per say. After i took on my post break up stress and no food diet i lost like 40 pounds which helped thin out my face from what i can tell. Now at 35 soon to be 36 i feel and see that i look better than most people i knew in school that gave me shit for being a big bellied kid so they ca suck it. Im roughly 6'1(2) and about 195 and pretty soft i look like i have some muscles but its squishy. Personally for me just being comfortable in my skin has helped me out a lot I've found. That said i still have a pounch and a flabby chest but whatever. You just have to own it whatever it may be. Sure superficial dudes and women may want some scrawny bean pole or muscled out asshole. Personally i don't get it. The girl i have been hanging out with recently is a bit heavy but she wears it well and seems not to worry about it which to me is a turn on.

[eversonpoe]

Confidence is what i find sexy.

this this this. god damn. there is NOTHING sexier than someone finding themselves sexy, and carrying that on the outside.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Where can I buy some?

[The_Prowler]

I'm not fat, but my German roots are very prevalent in that I have a gut that doesn't match the rest of my body. I also have thick legs and a short stature, so I pay very close attention to what I wear and how I present myself at all times. Seriously, I'm better dressed going to the grocery store than some people going to church anymore. The one thing I can never hide is my fucked up bone structure, though. I hide my hands out of shame because of how weird they are.
I've always had issues with my body and appearance and it's taken me a long time to go from actual loathing to just dealing with it. I've never really been a fan of my face, either, but at least now I know that I'm not a total C.H.U.D. :P
It's a never ending battle, and even if I work my ass off and wind up with a body like Trent's, I'll still never be fully satisfied with the way I look.

[eversonpoe]

I'm not fat, but my German roots are very prevalent in that I have a gut that doesn't match the rest of my body. I also have thick legs and a short stature, so I pay very close attention to what I wear and how I present myself at all times. Seriously, I'm better dressed going to the grocery store than some people going to church anymore. The one thing I can never hide is my fucked up bone structure, though. I hide my hands out of shame because of how weird they are.
I've always had issues with my body and appearance and it's taken me a long time to go from actual loathing to just dealing with it. I've never really been a fan of my face, either, but at least now I know that I'm not a total C.H.U.D. :P
It's a never ending battle, and even if I work my ass off and wind up with a body like Trent's, I'll still never be fully satisfied with the way I look.

i highly doubt you'd ever look like a C.H.U.D. (or even as unattractive as daniel stern) :p but i totally understand what you mean.

[Halo Infinity]

I struggle with who would want do date my short and "chubby" self. But that's just me being totally insecure. I'm sure I have the body of a goddess in someone's eyes. I have big brown eyes and lips to lust over for. I know looks don't mean everything but they sure do help. *Sigh* I'm just acting like a teenager, I guess.
Or perhaps you're just being humble. You really are stunning and cuddly looking to me. ;)

[Charmingly Miserable]

Or perhaps you're just being humble. You really are stunning and cuddly looking to me. ;)

Maybe you're being too polite! Lol
Thanks!!!!! I love to cuddle. <3

[Lew]

I'll still never be fully satisfied with the way I look.

see, imo, it is this that sums it up.
never being fully satisfied with the way you look.
i have been heavy and i have been way too thin, but found that no matter what my size...i don't like or appreciate my shape.
whether or not i was a size zero or one or two or five or six or more...i find my body shape aesthetically displeasing.
no matter how many compliments i get, from men or women, i do not see attractiveness reflected from my mirror.
i like to believe that if i was fully satisfied with my inner self, then my outer self would be viewed differently.
but then again, no matter how much acceptance i find it won't change the fact that i wear the body of a slim woman on top and a heavy one on bottom. lol. talk about your "dissonance barbie".

[ophelia_]

Just posted something on the Narcissism and Voyeurism thread which I probably should have posted here, but that thought occurred to me after hitting reply... Anyways, the point of it is relevant to this thread. Luff you guys and I really do think you're all pretty bangin.

http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/76-Narcissism-and-Voyeurism-X?p=187687#post187687

[halloween]

Ah! Summer! Traveling!
Anyways, I'm going to Spain in two months and I thought "I MUST LOOSE 20 LBS' but now I realize, why? Really, why? So I can be more attractive to....strangers I'm hardly going to get to know if just a few weeks time. Screw that. I saw an internet thingy and I related:
https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/t1.0-9/10339596_895191040494620_5472369034499581045_n.jpg

I keep myself moderately fit. Unless I'm biking to work and other places constantly like I was in the City, there's no way I'm realistically loosing weight. I'm not about to go to the gym (I'm done paying for that stupidity. YES I SAY STUPIDITY. There are other ways of being healthy and engaged int he world without being in another indoor box room.)

[icklekitty]

The point of going on holiday is to eat and drink everything.

[halloween]

TRUE. Which actually motivates me to loose weight here while I'm eating my own boring food. I'm ok with my weight but adding more would just really get in my way. My knees don't need that.

[Swykk]

What's this "confidence" thing you speak of?!

[Charmingly Miserable]

So, this is how I look like as of yesterday. I was doing a presentation on abstract art at my daughter's class.
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b52/lushvalley/DSCF3450_zps6057f628.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b52/lushvalley/DSCF3442_zps501ee47d.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b52/lushvalley/DSCF3443_zps4df2aae5.jpg
Some days I think that I'm not so bad looking and other days I think I'm just another fat girl. *Sighs*

[Fixer808]

Nah, you look good! :)

[Halo Infinity]

I like this thread, as I could use it as an extra reminder and overall incentive to lose weight. I've just started though, but the cravings are still challenging to overcome. I've also been a very emotional eater. As for my height, I'm fine with it, but it's my weight that I'd really need to work on. It's also rather pleasant to see the kind words of encouragement and acceptance here.

[Space Suicide]

Charmingly Miserable, you're looking fine to me.

[Big Fat Matt]

Everyone in this thread looks great. I mean it. I think the biggest part of body image is how you present yourself. If you think to yourself "I look good in this" then you're gonna rock whatever it is you're wearing.

[Halo Infinity]

So, this is how I look like as of yesterday. I was doing a presentation on abstract art at my daughter's class.
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b52/lushvalley/DSCF3450_zps6057f628.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b52/lushvalley/DSCF3442_zps501ee47d.jpg
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b52/lushvalley/DSCF3443_zps4df2aae5.jpg
Some days I think that I'm not so bad looking and other days I think I'm just another fat girl. *Sighs*
You're definitely attractive, and very sweet. I'd certainly hope to see more of you too.

[elevenism]

Charmingly Miserable , you aren't the only one who likes your latina curves.
You are fine as fuck!
And HELL no you aren't fat, and PLEASE don't loose 30 lbs!
See, this is the shit i was just talking about in the fucking thread.
All these magazines and TV shows...all they wanna do is tell you that you aren't good enough so they can sell you diets and maquillas and shit that you don't need.

Your body is WONDERFUL. It looks a WHOLE lot like my Lorien's.
And for god's sake, please don't get surgery of any kind. That shit is crazy to me.

NOW...about my body image. I am a good looking guy. But i am 34 years old. When i was young, i had a flat stomach...very sexy...size 28 bell bottoms in high school.
When i lived in dallas, i did the urban mode of travel...bus and train...for about 10 years. And i walked about 5 miles a day.

But i've been lounging around the family estate house and now i'm in the worst shape of my life. I'm right at 6ft tall and weigh like 210. (just to give you an idea, when i was 19 and wearing fishnets on my arms and generally driving all the rock and roll girls crazy, i weighed about 140.)
But i was like sickly skinny back then.
The bottom line is that i have a gut and it's getting bigger. i fucking HATE it. and i don't have muscles.
and part of the problem is that i got in two big wrecks and got hurt pretty bad, so i'm kinda scared to work out!
But lorien thinks i'm dead sexy, so at least that.

But i've gotta ask, Charmingly Miserable . Is a tummy acceptable on a man, or do you only give cuddles to men with rock hard abs?

Oh yeah, Sarah K ... i think i JUST posted something along the lines of "real women have curves" in the fucking thread. Bad synchronicity.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Is a tummy acceptable on a man, or do you only give cuddles to men with rock hard abs?


I hooked up with a guy who had the six pack and all this year. Honestly, it was intimidating. While he had a nice body, it's not my thing. My ex husband was skinny. All I want to say about that is: eh.

Also, at 6'1" and 210 lbs, that sounds decent to me.
I've got fat. And lots of it. I like my man to have a little bit of cushion too. It makes me feel a whole lot more comfortable about my fatness.

You guys are almost convincing that I look ok. You guys need to remember I'm short, like 5'1" short. I don't want to look like those magazine cover chicks. I've got scars, stretch marks and a whole lot of jiggle. I just want to drop 30 lbs and get a tummy tuck. I had a C-section with my daughter and my tummy is needs to be in its pre pregnancy stage.

[elevenism]

36-24-36?
Only if she's 5'3!!!
lol

[aggroculture]

I feel fat fat fat and ugly. I have put on weight this year - thank you, stress (though I cannot blame anyone but myself. OK maybe Ben and Jerry).
I feel really self conscious about talking about food with people, lest they be thinking "yeah you should eat less of all that stuff you're talking about."
The other night something weird happened, I was drinking with some friends; half-way through I think I offended one of them by mixing her up with her roommate about something. At the end she was ranting something completely random about "fat people" at me, and I'm thinking (we are pretty drunk at this point) "she is totally fat-shaming me. OK."
The strange part is, I didn't mind it so much: it was a little weird, the way she was doing it indirectly. But a part of me kind of feels that I would like more people to tell me I'm fat so I can stop trying to hide it from myself, and deal with the issue instead of ignoring it.
Like my partner, for example, when ever I bring up I need to lose weight she's like "nah you're fine."
But this is also lazy: I shouldn't try to outsource this onto others.
I need to take care of it myself. I feel I've been struggling with this issue my whole life and I am always back at square one: overweight, unhappy with being overweight, feeling powerless to do anything about it.

[eversonpoe]

i totally understand, my friend.

i just posted something about my eating habits in the "little things that piss you off" thread last night, and i realize it should have gone here...
so, here it is:

i'm really frustrated with how hungry i always seem to be.

i'm trying to get in better shape before our wedding in september (as is my fiancee), but i love food, and i don't really like/can't seem to bring myself to exercise other than riding my bike. i've been trying to eat better, but i hate most vegetables. i've been eating reasonably-sized meals, but then i end up wanting snacks all the time, and when i don't eat them, i just end up eating bigger meals.

i don't care about "losing weight" because i don't care about the number, i just want to feel more comfortable in my own skin/my clothes.

it's also really hard not to let my old eating disorder(s) mentality kick in, so i'm constantly battling that.

being an adult sucks, guys.

[aggroculture]

I saw your post and that's what reminded me of this thread.

I can relate to what you say: I see my marriage photos and think "damn I look fat." Also, pics of when my daughter was born, same thing.

I feel I need to get in shape and stop being a "fat person."
In Indiana there's plenty of obese people much bigger than me who I see every day (and I do worry about them, without really knowing what to think): people say you put on weight when you move here, and I can see that. It's more common, and thus more socially acceptable. Yet strangely it's also more polarizing and taboo.

But this is about me, like you say, feeling comfortable in my own skin, and not constantly hating my body because it's spilling out in all directions.

[Sarah K]

I had a real life friend remove me from her facebook the other night because I didn't believe that calling someone "fat" is the same as calling someone a racist or homophobic name.

I'm fat as fuck. But I also know and realize that I DID THIS TO MYSELF. People don't fucking have control over their race or sexuality. The VAST, VAST majority of people have control over their weight.

Being fat is more comparable to addiction than it is to race/sexuality. I fucking HATE the victim mentality among my fatties.

[Charmingly Miserable]

The VAST, VAST majority of people have control over their weight.


True. I believe that dieting is not about food and exercising. It's about the ability to control your mind over such food and exercise.

I would like to lose 10 lbs this summer but I don't know if I'm motivated to do so. For me, I lot of my body image has to do with my relationship status (or lack thereof). However, I do also know that a lot of guys like a little junk in the trunk and in the front too. I know I've been over this about a hundred times on this thread but I can't shake it.

[Sarah K]

This is probably a good place to ask about this... I already asked on facebook.

I've been asked to model(naked) for a "fat-positive" photo series. I don't have issues with being naked or posing or etc, etc, etc.

I feel like I have a moral conflict, and I don't want to be hypocritical. I don't think people should be treated like total shit for being fat. But I'm also not "fat positive". Like, I see some people proclaiming how being fat is the best and skinny sucks and blah, blah, blah. I absolutely HATE that shit. So I'm still on the fence about it. I can do it from a stand point of helping others to be more accepting of themselves. But I don't want to create an illusion that I'm "positive" about being fat, either. I'm actively trying to better my life, so I don't think that I fall into the category of being positive about it.

I am probably way, WAY over-thinking this. But that's kinda my thing.

Thoughts?

[allegro]

Thoughts?
I think you've very succinctly and fairly eloquently summed up your thoughts. And I wholeheartedly agree with you. For whatever that's worth.

[Sarah K]

What I'm trying to figure out is if it would be hypocritical for me to participate. I go back and forth on this.

[aggroculture]

I think I see where you're coming from. I also have a problem with fat-positive discourses that carry an almost aggressive stance of "I am exactly as I want to be" and seem to want to ban any criticism of fatness. Maybe this is a backlash against the fat-shaming culture that thinks it's OK to mock and laugh at and dehumanize fatties, and goes a little too far in the other direction.

I don't know the campaign you've been asked to model for, but to me all fat-positive discourses are potentially progressive, in that they are demanding respect for fat people, which really isn't too much to ask. Just because there's a degree of choice/free will in being fat, doesn't mean it's OK to be shat on for being this way.

[jessamineny]

What I'm trying to figure out is if it would be hypocritical for me to participate. I go back and forth on this.

Maybe you should look at it another way. Instead of thinking about the reasons you shouldn't do it, ask yourself: Why would I want to do this? What am I looking to get out of it personally? What's my motivation?

[marodi]

There is a difference between being fat and being morbidly obese (which I was). People can be somewhat overweight without it being their fault; they can have thyroid problems, they may be taking meds that are causing them to gain weight... Also, in today's society, it's easy to be "fat". Depending in which circle you gravitate, you can be a size 8 and be call "fat". Apparently, this kid is overweight. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/23/gwendolyn-williams-fitnessgram_n_5381239.html) So it is okay to show that you don't have to look like a supermodel to be "hot" and "beautiful" (all of which are in the eyes of the beholder anyway) but on the flip side, yeah; it's not healthy to be too fat. The only thing that's left to do is to agree on what being "too fat" is. Same as being "too thin".

Anyway, I was morbidly obese until I got bariatric surgery 3 years ago. Now, I'm still "fat" but that's because of all the loose skin I have. I have about 25 to 30 pounds of loose skin on my body. I think my naked self is even scarier than it was before! I have loose skin in places I never thought possible. Do I regret having the surgery? Not one bit. I knew that was going to happen. I'm glad the weight loss doesn't show in my face (no hanging skin there praise the Lord for small favors!).

Am I happy with how I look? I don't know. I've never been happy with how I looked anyway. All I know is that this is who I am and that's it.

[Sarah K]

There is a difference between being fat and being morbidly obese (which I was). People can be somewhat overweight without it being their fault; they can have thyroid problems, they may be taking meds that are causing them to gain weight... Also, in today's society, it's easy to be "fat". Depending in which circle you gravitate, you can be a size 8 and be call "fat". Apparently, this kid is overweight. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/23/gwendolyn-williams-fitnessgram_n_5381239.html) So it is okay to show that you don't have to look like a supermodel to be "hot" and "beautiful" (all of which are in the eyes of the beholder anyway) but on the flip side, yeah; it's not healthy to be too fat. The only thing that's left to do is to agree on what being "too fat" is. Same as being "too thin".

Anyway, I was morbidly obese until I got bariatric surgery 3 years ago. Now, I'm still "fat" but that's because of all the loose skin I have. I have about 25 to 30 pounds of loose skin on my body. I think my naked self is even scarier than it was before! I have loose skin in places I never thought possible. Do I regret having the surgery? Not one bit. I knew that was going to happen. I'm glad the weight loss doesn't show in my face (no hanging skin there praise the Lord for small favors!).

Am I happy with how I look? I don't know. I've never been happy with how I looked anyway. All I know is that this is who I am and that's it.

I am morbidly obese. Very much so!

What surgery did you have? You can message me if you don't wanna talk about it here. I'm down 130 pounds from where I was 2 years ago. But I should probably still lose that much again. I go back and forth on the surgery. I've had consults and such. And it sounds like my plan right now would actually cover it. But now that it is actually a possibility, I find myself hesitant about it because of the reasons that you talked about. I'm terrified to have the skin issues - which I already notice like on the inside of my thighs, in my boobs, and kinda in my belly now. But I still feel pretty confident in my own skin, I'm fine with being naked and such. But I worry that if I have the surgery, or if I just continue to lose weight this way, that I'm going to feel worse about myself than I do now. I feel like I'm at a tipping point with the weight loss, and I have troubles deciding which way to go.

[rhet]

I agree with you as well. Maybe you could see what the photo series will be used for and if you agree with the general message then go for it and if its not to your liking then decline?

[marodi]

Sarah K

I don't mind talking about it one bit! :)

I've had this one. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastric_bypass_surgery).. Long story short: they took out almost all of my stomach (leaving only a little pouch) and lots of intestines and plug all of that all together. It's the biggest surgery of this kind; the last resort one; the "you either have this or you die" one. I did have a BMI over 40; hypertension (which is better now but not totally eliminated) and severe sleep apnea (which is completely gone). The surgery went extremely well; no complications whatsoever. I do have to take ginormous amount of vitamins everyday for the rest of my life (when I say "ginormous", I mean extremely high dosage; for example: the recommended amount of vitamin D supplement an adult can take daily is 600 to 4,000 UI. I take 50,000 UI daily. That's because I can't "store" them anymore so I have to take an overdose of it just to give me enough of what I need. The rest is eliminated. That's a side effect of the surgery.

I've also developed a rarer side effect: kidney stones. I'm told it's very rare and the docs don't know yet why it happens and how it's related to the surgery but it is related; they know so much.

It really was a life saver for me. I would encourage you to go to a specialist in this field to discuss all options there are (and there are several of them) and if you find something that works for you, go for it!

The skin thing sucks though; I knew about it before the surgery because the surgeon had told me it would happen. I could not help it: the weight loss was happening too fast to give me time to do something about it. Now all that's left is to get cosmetic surgery to remove all of that but monies is the problem; I have lot of skin and not enough monies.

Such it life! :P

[allegro]

What I'm trying to figure out is if it would be hypocritical for me to participate. I go back and forth on this.
The first thing I thought about with this "positive fat" thing was Star Jones who used to be on The View. She used to go on and on about Fat is Where it's At and she was Proud To Be Fat and all that stuff, and how she was never going to lose weight, and meanwhile her health condition was terrible and guess what, Star? YOU GONNA DIE AT 40 IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!! Fat is DEAD. So while she was on TV going on and on about Fat is the Shit, she was secretly getting lap band surgery, and then wow, look, Star was kind of losing weight, wasn't she? "Oh, yeah, I kind of started working out a little, but it's nothing." Wow, now Star has lost a LOT more weight. "Oh, yeah, I started eating healthier, and eating a lot less bacon." Uh huh. Wow, look, Star, you're like, a SIZE FUCKING TWO. "Oh shut the fuck up, bitches, I'm just small-boned, okay? All you pricks do is pick on me!" Um, did you have any SURGERY, Star? "Who, me? Noooooooo!" But, Star, what happened to FAT IS WHERE IT'S AT? "Um, well, um ... yeah, well um, then I got diabetes and heart disease and 4 cholesterol prescriptions ..."

Like Marodi says, it's one thing (and fairly uncommon, actually) if you have a thyroid condition, but being overweight is a really common issue these days and instead of DEALING with it, we're gaining more weight and deciding to live with it? Fat is cool? Fat is fun? Fat is fashionable? No, fat is DEAD. Fat is a STROKE.

To be fair, there are a lot of "skinny fat" people out there who are really skinny and in worse shape than my currently-overweight ass. I have "the blood pressure of a teenager" according to my doctor, my resting pulse is 60-62, my cholesterol levels are always low, my good cholesterol levels are always good, but I still have to lose about 20-30 pounds. I think my days of being model-thin are probably over for my age. AGE, being that's WHY I FUCKING PUT ON THIS WEIGHT IN, LIKE, A YEAR IN THE FIRST PLACE. I used to be able to drop, like, 10 pounds in WEEKS.

But, weight isn't EVERYTHING. There is also all of the above: cholesterol, sugar levels, pulse rate, aerobic conditioning, fitness levels, strength levels. Oprah is "fat" but I bet Oprah can outrun most people. But Oprah will be the first to tell you that she needs to stop eating all those mashed potatoes.

[aggroculture]

Damnit Allegro you speak the truth, you don't sugar coat it or cut corners.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Sarah, I'm on the fence about your situation too. If you feel totally comfortable in your skin, I sincerely applaud you. I guess the underlying issue of photo shoot is at stake here. I mean, I wouldn't do it if I was posing for a package of Oreos and a tub of Land O Lakes butter. But now as I think about it more, I wouldn't do it on the basis is that your are trying to better yourself and disassociate yourself from "fat positivity."

Here is what you do: do a naked photo spread documenting your weight loss progress. Once you reach your goal, you can make cute flip books documenting your success. Stocking stuffers, yo.

[icklekitty]

This is probably a good place to ask about this... I already asked on facebook.

I've been asked to model(naked) for a "fat-positive" photo series. I don't have issues with being naked or posing or etc, etc, etc.

I feel like I have a moral conflict, and I don't want to be hypocritical. I don't think people should be treated like total shit for being fat. But I'm also not "fat positive". Like, I see some people proclaiming how being fat is the best and skinny sucks and blah, blah, blah. I absolutely HATE that shit. So I'm still on the fence about it. I can do it from a stand point of helping others to be more accepting of themselves. But I don't want to create an illusion that I'm "positive" about being fat, either. I'm actively trying to better my life, so I don't think that I fall into the category of being positive about it.

I am probably way, WAY over-thinking this. But that's kinda my thing.

Thoughts?


How about health positive?

I used to run a group for PCOS sufferers in central London (I used to write for the journal) and we'd meet up at places like salad bars, sushi places, Nando's (grilled chicken place invented by Jesus). The point was to get together, share how frustrating it was that you'd reached a plateau losing weight, and share tips on how to deal with baldness and infertility and stuff. A lot of these women were overweight. Some were obese. Most were trying really hard, with food, medication, exercise, but they just hadn't worked out their rhythm.

And then you'd always get one motherfucker who weighed about 300lbs, did no exercise, ordered the double chicken burger with extra chips and cheese, and sit there and bitch about how she had diabetes and was sooooooo fat.

Needless to say, the rest of the table, sitting there updating myfitnesspal with their caesar salad with the dressing on the side, had no sympathy for her.

We would also get the odd girl who was very slim and could eat whatever she wanted but was going bald and had all the acne. So yeah, goes both ways.

[Sarah K]

I don't think that I'm going to do it. I feel slightly guilty about it. Or feel as if it gives off the impression that I'm ashamed of myself or whatever. Two years ago, that would have TOTALLY been the case, and I never would have even thought about something like this.

But I just can't see myself being an advocate for being "positive" about being fat. I realize that I'm probably making it too big of a deal in my mind. But whatever.

What I *do* want to start doing is taking photographs every month or two that shows what REALISTIC weight loss looks like. I know those are out there to an extent. But I enjoy them. There are all of these TV shows about rapid and EXTREME weight loss, and they never even MENTION the surgeries that these people undoubtedly had to remove their excess skin. I think it's highly irresponsible, and gives people and EXTREMELY unrealistic fantasy about losing weight. I mean, I know that I'm never going to be prancing about in a bikini or anything. I just want to be in better shape, be able to do everything that I want to do, etc.

I'm going to be 30 this year. My grandpa had his first heart attack at age 32. He had 5 more before one finally killed him when he was 52. My other grandpa died a few days after having heart bypass surgery. I feel like the TIME IS NOW. I've been slacking like fuck lately. I haven't gained, and I've been maintaining. But I need to get my ass back in it for REAL.

COFFEE RAMBLING

[ophelia_]

Gah... having one of those days where I hate everything about myself. Mainly because I've put on 'happy weight'. You know when you're comfortable with someone and you're just too happy to care about dieting? That's me right now. Except I've put on more weight in the past couple of months than I would have liked to.

Totally blaming the 22 year old... I've never been with someone who wants me naked so much. We can't be alone in the same room together without him ripping my clothes off. And every time we're naked in bed together, he tells me how much he loves my body and he's the first person I've ever believed has meant that... So, it just makes me feel super comfortable and I get complacent when that happens. Worst! :(

[Sarah K]

I thought you broke up?

[ophelia_]

Well we were never really dating... but my whore vagina has betrayed me and we've been sleeping together since that. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS NOT A GOOD IDEA! We just have the worlds most amazing sex and he makes me feel so good when we're alone together (in a non-sexual way), so it's hard.

[Sarah K]

So like... Start dating?

[ophelia_]

Well, yeah.. Maybe. It's just that we both have said we don't want a relationship, and we're both casually banging other people. Last night he told me he was on tinder meeting up with chicks, soooo. Urgh.

We were at the pub last night with a bunch of mates, and I just got this email my friend Dan this morning.

Him: LOL you and alex are hilarious
Me: What, why? lol
Him: Because it's so obvious you both like each other big time but don't seem to be able to say it!
Me: Do you reckon? He keeps telling me he doesn’t want a relationship… I think he’s just really flirty, don’t think he likes me or anything. He’d make more of an effort to talk to me if he did… (wouldn’t he)?
Him: I could be totally wrong cause I don't really know him, but I'm getting the impression you both like each other but you're both saying "i don't want a relationship" because the other one is saying the same thing.

SO NOW I AM EVEN MORE CONFUSED! *bangs head on table*

[Charmingly Miserable]

but my whore vagina has betrayed me and we've been sleeping together since that. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS NOT A GOOD IDEA! We just have the worlds most amazing sex
You too? I know the feeling.

[ophelia_]

It's just the worst! Urghhhh.

[playwithfire]

I'm about 10 pounds heavier than usual at the moment because there's so much food to eat at work (and before this there was La Boulange at Starbucks) and I haven't had the time to go to the gym for ages (I work 9-5, am in a community theatre version of Bye Bye Birdie, take burlesque class once a week, and do freelance work on a newsletter about one night a week and also in a relationship where I'd like to see the person). I'm gonna have to start making the time/start counting my calories a bit more (eating healthy matters but I also just want to drop the weight I gained) but in the meantime... eh, fuck it. I look how I look. My ass is great.

Just wish my pants were a bit loser. :/

[Sarah K]

Well, yeah.. Maybe. It's just that we both have said we don't want a relationship, and we're both casually banging other people. Last night he told me he was on tinder meeting up with chicks, soooo. Urgh.


Just tell him that you like him, yo.

Although I can understand not wanting to be in a relationship at 22. If I had to do it over again, I never would have gotten into anything serious until I was at least 25.

Maybe you can casually bang other people together.

[allegro]

Aren't you guys drifting this thread?

[halloween]

My mom after years and years of verbal commentary on my body, the worst things she ever said was "Boys won't like girls who have a belly like that" and "Boys won't date you if you don't shower every day." (Both lies, since I've since dated several people. My current boyfriend even LIKES my unshaven pits, thank you very much! Anyways, she's finally toned it down, but because she's in Brazil, it's acceptable to say SOMETHING about your body. It's been more positive, "You look so healthy!" (because I spend time in the sun now so I'm not a "pale, sick-looking" american-- her words not mine!!) and if I put on weight it's "You look a bit...bigger." I appreciate it because there's lack of judgement or FREAK OUT in her way of speaking to me. As if tomorrow I'd wake up obese.

Anyways, I'd like to take this moment to give homage to my mother's voice who has been the only reason I struggle with this whole idea of "body image". I mean, I could actually say thanks to the country she lives in because they are so much more obsessed with that shit so it's not her fault she's obsessed with it I guess.

[allegro]

Anyways, I'd like to take this moment to give homage to my mother's voice who has been the only reason I struggle with this whole idea of "body image". I mean, I could actually say thanks to the country she lives in because they are so much more obsessed with that shit so it's not her fault she's obsessed with it I guess.
My mom grew up in this country pre-obesity, when they actually gave pregnant women diet pills so they wouldn't gain too much weight while pregnant (see below). My mom gained only 30 pounds while pregnant with me (no diet pills, LOL). So she's like your mom, constantly on my ass like I'm Orca the killer whale when I'm a size 12-14. It drives G nuts more than me but it definitely does affect my self esteem.

When G's stepmom died she weighed 72 lbs. She was 4' 9". She was 79. We tried buying her clothes but she was so tiny we had to shop in the kids dept. But in her mind, she was still wearing Size Medium and was 5' 4" tall. She looked in the mirror and saw a taller overweight woman. She was a skeleton. She didn't DIE of this, but it gave us a pretty good idea about how "body image" works in our minds.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-74P_4zHH1Wo/USq9by5BXlI/AAAAAAAAANs/7eoE5E3QHag/s1600/dexedrine+ad+(Smith+Kline).jpg

[Sarah K]

That's what I take for ADD.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Anyways, I'd like to take this moment to give homage to my mother's voice who has been the only reason I struggle with this whole idea of "body image". I mean, I could actually say thanks to the country she lives in because they are so much more obsessed with that shit so it's not her fault she's obsessed with it I guess.
You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. That's how it is with most mothers, right? Fortunately (?) for me, my mom and I are almost the same size. I mean, we have the same body type so my mom won't make remarks about my figure. What she will comment on is my eating habits. "You're gonna eat all of that in one sitting?" So I tell her, "Yeah, I am" and shove the whole thing down my face plus have some chocolate afterwards. Then I wonder why I look fat even in black.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I wish I had cute boobs. My boobs look sad all the time. I think that a survey of men and women will agree.

[playwithfire]

I doubt they look sad, and "cute" is overrated when it comes to boobs.

Being cool with weight gain (I'm close to 170 at the moment) is a lot easier when you're involved with multiple people who think you're hot and don't give a shit. But I wish my pants fit better. :/

[cahernandez]

First off, obesity is not accurately "on the rise". It's always been. America is the most over weight country in the world, and they own that statistic by a huge margin, much like the military and prison industrial complex statistics.


Wrong, señor. The most obese country among more populous nations is Mexico as of summer of last year, 32.8% of the population there are obese, compared to a 31.8% in the USA: http://gawker.com/america-is-no-longer-the-most-obese-country-in-the-worl-714151306

Among small nations, Nauru is the grand trophy winner, with an obesity rate of 71.7%: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/how-tiny-nauru-became-worlds-fattest-nation-2203835.html

[Charmingly Miserable]

Wrong, señor. The most obese country among more populous nations is Mexico as of summer of last year, 32.8% of the population there are obese, compared to a 31.8% in the USA: http://gawker.com/america-is-no-longer-the-most-obese-country-in-the-worl-714151306


True. So because I'm Mexican-American, does that make me more of a risk at obesity?
playwithfire I don't know if boobs are overrated. Let's ask around. Ladies and gents: are boobs overrated?

[playwithfire]

Oh no, boobs aren't overrated! "Cute" boobs are overrated. When I think of boobs that I love, cute is definitely not one of the words that comes to mind. Neither is "sad." I bet that word doesn't go anywhere near the thoughts of the people you get with, and if it does, they really don't deserve you.

[Sarah K]

A guy once told me that my boobs were disappointing.

[Charmingly Miserable]

^Buzzkill.

Every time I see my boobs, I think that they look like sad eyes. Seriously, if you guys saw what I see, I think you'll agree.

I'm not liking my boob or any of my body today.

[MrsMeowMeow]

I have always been skinny and I have been bullied by other kids and even teachers because of it for many years up to the point that I believed that I looked ugly and must have some kind of eating disorder, so I wanted to gain weight which never worked. Also my grandparents forced me to eat more than I could whenever I visited them, telling me that I must be anorexic. So I became very insecure regarding my weight and eating together with other people.
Even today I sometimes get comments like 'eat a burger', but nowadays I know that they are wrong. It happens a lot less than back when I was a kid though, perhaps because I have big boobs now. I feel a lot better today about my weight, but there are still days when I feel insecure. I guess there will always be things that I dislike about my appearance, like my hair and my skin that reacts to every bit of stress.

And because I lived through this for the most part of my life, I try not to make negative comments about anyone's looks. I'm pretty sure that person is aware that he/she is skinny/fat/has bad skin/scars/etc, no need to point that out. I mean, I cannot imagine how comments like that could ever have a positive effect. People really need to stop doing this. Just like people need to stop telling other people what to wear.

[Charmingly Miserable]

A guy once told me that my boobs were disappointing.
I'm not gonna lie: I was thinking about your boobs and this statement today. I think you should be the Tittie Avenger and smother assholes who says shit like this with your boobs. Although my boobs don't pack quite a punch as yours, I can shoot death rays out from my nipples.

[icklekitty]

A guy once told me that my boobs were disappointing.


You need to show them that ETS shirt photo because I actually forgot there was a human around them.

[Sarah K]

Hahaha. I mean, at least he was honest with me! It made me frowny face for like 5 minutes, though. I mean, I can't imagine a guy getting naked and me being like "Huh. Well, THAT'S disappointing". lolol

[Sarah K]

http://www.alternet.org/im-fat-40-and-single-and-ive-been-getting-laid-crazy

I want to quote this entire article.

[Charmingly Miserable]

That was a fantastic read. What I take from it is that men like confidence. I have none. No wonder I'm single.

[hb13161705]

I never really used to care about being overweight and then I lost 20kg and BOOM it opened up a whole can of body image worms. It’s weird. I’m more dissatisfied/messed up about food now than I ever was when I was fat.

(For context I’m 5’9”, used to weigh 84kg (185lbs) and now I’m hovering around 65kg (143lbs).)

I'm the same. I'm 5'7" and my weight has fluctuated between 88kg and 70kg over the last twelve years. I'm so sick of busting my arse at the gym to lose weight only to have it put back on in the blink of an eye.

[Charmingly Miserable]

So, I really want to do a professional photo shoot and I would love to do a few in my skivvies or none at all but I just can't see my fat ass semi naked in front of a camera.

[Sarah K]

Yo... I can sext you pictures to motivate you, brah. Like, if I'm okay being naked, you should be.

The way I look at it is like this - I'm going to be 30 years old. Realistically, as shitty as my body is, it probably isn't ever going to look better. Even if I keep losing weight, that's going to bring on a whole new set of issues. So, I'm just trying to enjoy what I have.

You should totes do the photos. I would have done that art project had I not kind of disagreed with the message.

[eversonpoe]

So, I really want to do a professional photo shoot and I would love to do a few in my skivvies or none at all but I just can't see my fat ass semi naked in front of a camera.

my friend (who is gorgeous but has quite a few self-image issues) did a boudoir shoot with our mutual photographer friend, and it boosted her confidence about 1000%. like, seriously. she went from never being able to take a compliment to KNOWING how amazing she looks (but not in a snooty way). you have to find someone you trust and are comfortable with, and it will be fantastic.

[Sarah K]

Here is an exchange that I just had on OKC - which I NEVER EVEN USE ANYMORE, because it ended up that nobody used it was for dating, just random banging.

Him:
look another obee fuck hole on okc. Do you understand that you will never be loved until you get some goddamed self esteem and ;lose the weight. Yes we will lie to you and date you but really all you are is a place to stick our cocks. a fucking repository for our effluvium


fuck you and fuck okc- you hole


Me:
Look. An angry boy with a 4th grade understanding of the English language. Boy, I sure feel like I'm missing out! Hahaha.


Him:
you absouletely ARE missing out- not just on me though.. but on yourself and on whats possible. All because youre too weak to face your issues and deal with your behaviour. Its really sad when you think about it,. Youre cheating yourself out of a full life because you lack the emotional maturity and integrity necessary to confront your demons..


Men choose healthy women to devote themslves to- Its encoded on our dna- but also encoded is our desire to spread our seed. Thats where you come in- as a receptacle. Fuckable but certainly unworthy of love


Me:
That's your opinion. I've been in more than one long term relationship. I absolutely understand that I'm not for everyone. We ALL have physical attributes that we prefer. Which is why I'm honest about it up front. Everyone is entitled to date someone who falls within what they find physically attractive. I do it, too!

Fun fact: I've actually lost over 100 pounds in the last couple of years. So I think that I'm doing alright. :P I'm actually addressing my issues. Not sending out anonymous, angry emails for no reason. Which of us needs "help" addressing issues? I've done my part.


Him:
yay you. hole.


Shit like this makes me realize just HOW FAR I've come. Like, a couple of years ago, when I was newly single for the first time since I was like 21, that probably would have made me cry. Or at least, made me really sad. Now, I dunno... I just kind of laugh about it. I mean, SO ANGRY. Poor dude.

[Digital Twilight]

What an awful thing to say.

Somehow I think he's the one who's never going to be loved.

It's funny beacuse almost everything he said to you should have been directed at himself.

[Digital Twilight]

I read this a few weeks ago and found it very interesting.

NSFW

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/sep/06/womens-breasts-laura-dodsworth-photography

[The_Prowler]

Here is an exchange that I just had on OKC - which I NEVER EVEN USE ANYMORE, because it ended up that nobody used it was for dating, just random banging.

Him:


Me:

Him:

Me:


Him:


Shit like this makes me realize just HOW FAR I've come. Like, a couple of years ago, when I was newly single for the first time since I was like 21, that probably would have made me cry. Or at least, made me really sad. Now, I dunno... I just kind of laugh about it. I mean, SO ANGRY. Poor dude.
What a goddamn shit head! It's guys like that that make me ashamed not only to be a man, but a human being. Then again, when someone gets that angry over something that stupid and insignificant, I can't really get upset because it's so funny.
A few weeks ago I was walking around town and some guy sitting at a table outside my favorite coffee shop just started yelling at me out of fucking nowhere. Seriously, he just started verbally attacking me! You know what he was so riled up about?

My jewelry.

No joke. He was saying shit like "hey asshole, this isn't the fucking 90's anymore! LOSE THE FUCKING CHAINS! THEY'RE NOT IN STYLE ANYMORE!" I had on one bracelet on each wrist, two necklaces and my pocket watch... that was it. Then he started yelling about my "wallet chain" (which I haven't worn for over two years now), and when I told him it was actually a watch, he countered with "IT DOESN'T MATTER! AKE THE GODDAMN CHAIN OF YOUR PANTS!"
By this point, everyone within earshot (which was about the entire block, including people inside the coffee shop and other various businesses) had stopped what they were doing to stare. This barrage of insanity went on for five solid minutes before finally I looked him right in the eye, made a grand sweeping gesture behind me and said "gaze thine eyes upon the field in which I grow my fucks, and thou shalt see that it is barren" and walked off.
All of his friends were laughing his asses off, but it was obvious that he had no idea what the hell I had just said.

I feel sad for people like that, because the impression that they give me is that they're not intelligent enough to find something actually worth getting angry about, so they have to find something to yell at, and it always ends up being something stupid and inconsequential.

Am I guilty of being superficial sometimes? Absolutely! Everyone is on occasion. There are people you find physically attractive and people you don't. But I never, NEVER would tell someone they weren't worth loving just because they were overweight or had a facial deformity or anything like that. No one should be that big of a raging ass-hat. As many times as I've seen it in my life, I never fail to be amazed by how horrible some people can be to their fellow (wo)man.

[Sarah K]

It really doesn't bother me much anymore. I mean, when I was younger, that would have hurt my feelings. But now, I just kind of feel sorry for them? Maybe because I've half accepted that they're correct. And half because I'm the most comfortable with myself that I've been. So it doesn't get to me as much as when I was down on myself.

[Space Suicide]

Since when did a dating website become breeding ground for insults? No offense to you Sarah K but he's on the website for a reason too: no relationship or dating. Looks as if he has zero luck. I'm sure he's a dick to a "Perfect" looking girl as well, whatever he's into. Meh.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I read this a few weeks ago and found it very interesting.

NSFW

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/sep/06/womens-breasts-laura-dodsworth-photography

Good article. I've been having a lot of boob issues lately. I just don't find them to be very attractive. It turns out that I have been wearing the wrong bra size for a long time and I'm trying to over haul by bra inventory. However, I just think that my boobs are pathetic. I went shopping for corsets the other day and the lady helping was very nice to me as my boobs were flying all over the place. However, the whole time I was there, I had pity on that woman because she had to see me naked from the waist up.

Why do I have to keep picking on myself?

[aggroculture]

Strange summer for me, body image-wise.
Spanish people, or at least my wife's family, have no problem telling you to your face that you are fat. Not meant as an insult, just a statement of fact. Or "goloso" (a translation could be "greedy," but more like lover of food/sweets: in other words without the negative connotation that comes with "greedy"). It's really weird because they'll be like "yes, order dessert, you like sweets, you are goloso." Part of me is thinking "shouldn't you be telling me not to order dessert? This is really WEIRD."

I started reading about fat acceptance online. In some way I see that as really liberating: the idea of freeing myself from this constant negativity about my body. What would happen if I just ate what I wanted to? I pretty much do that anyway. What would happen if I did it without the constant negative voice in my head saying "don't eat that, you are fat"? Perversely, I think I would probably lose weight. The older I get the more I find that actually listening to my body, what it wants, makes me feel better in general. Even when what it wants is ice cream.

[Digital Twilight]

Good article. I've been having a lot of boob issues lately. I just don't find them to be very attractive. It turns out that I have been wearing the wrong bra size for a long time and I'm trying to over haul by bra inventory. However, I just think that my boobs are pathetic. I went shopping for corsets the other day and the lady helping was very nice to me as my boobs were flying all over the place. However, the whole time I was there, I had pity on that woman because she had to see me naked from the waist up.

Why do I have to keep picking on myself?

I'm sure they are anything but that. I think it's just our nature to pick at ourselves, if it's not one thing then it will just be another. We're bombarded with images that tells us we're supposed live up to some archetype that just isn't achievable for most people and why would want to all look the same anyway? We need to be teaching our children what true beauty is instead of nit picking our and their's 'faults'.

[Sarah K]

my boobs were flying all over the place.

This is me like every day. Hahaha. Hard to keep them shits contained.

[allegro]

I'm sure they are anything but that. I think it's just our nature to pick at ourselves, if it's not one thing then it will just be another. We're bombarded with images that tells us we're supposed live up to some archetype that just isn't achievable for most people and why would want to all look the same anyway? We need to be teaching our children what true beauty is instead of nit picking our and their's 'faults'.
I grew up with a single mother who constantly told me I was beautiful. But, I was surrounded by images of women in magazines in the 80s who didn't look like me, and I was always critical of myself. When I was in my 20s, I was constantly struggling with keeping my weight at sometimes a too-low levels. i didn't like my boobs (not big like in magazines), thought this was too fat (not anorexic like in magazines), my butt wasn't the right shape (I have a bubble butt, like J-Lo or a Kardashian, and everybody then had a flat ass), my legs were too short (not 8-miles-long like in magazines), blah blah blah. When I was in my late-30s, I was too busy to care about any of that shit. By my 40s, I finally realized how fucking stupid I'd been in my 20s and that I WAS ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING HOT when I wasn't starving myself and foraging for food. When I considered boob surgery in my 20s, I thought, whoa, but then they wouldn't be MY BOOBS. They'd be, like, SOME DOCTORS' BOOBS, so I ruled that out, and I'm so glad I did. Now, I love myself as I am and mostly focus on healthy body stuff, like wanting to be "fit" and stuff. These "body" issues are media shit fed by magazines and porn. You can have the most supportive family on earth, mothers telling you you're the most beautiful daughter on earth, and it don't mean shit if you see nothing but women who look nothing like you on every magazine and newspaper and TV. It also doesn't help when you go clothes-shopping and the clothes that are the "cute" clothes are Size 4. I kept my weight at Size 2 to Size 4 for years just to get the "good" clothes. When you're Size 12, all you get are clothes that look like something your 5th Grade Teacher wore.

[allegro]

Oh, and while I'm at it: this fucking obsession with SHAPE WEAR is making me fucking nuts. I admit, I bought into it for a little while. Stuffing myself into expensive SPANX underpants so my stomach would look perfectly flat. I've already been obsessed with NO VISIBLE PANTY LINES for many years, but now we're suddenly not supposed to see ANY "bumps" at all, none.

You know what my grandma called that shit, don''t you?

A GIRDLE

Fuck that shit. That's not even good for you!

I may wear a camisole or something once in a while, to smooth things out, but I ain't stuffing myself into girdles. I hate wearing a fucking BRA for fuck's sake! The first thing I do when my day is over? I TAKE MY FUCKING BRA OFF!! Shit, I've been known to take my bra off while on my way home DRIVING IN THE CAR. I have these "sleep" bras that are like "pullover" bras, very soft and stretchy and comfy, and if my mother didn't spend every waking moment bitching at me about how bras keep you from sagging and I wasn't worried about looking like some freaky 60s feminist, I'd wear these all the time and just go braless. But shapewear? More media image-created bullshit.

[Sarah K]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/11/corset-diet-health_n_4082004.html

[allegro]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/11/corset-diet-health_n_4082004.html

What the fuck. Yeah, well, that's just Spanx, really. I swear, getting into a pair of Spanx does about the same thing, LOL. I think when you take off a pair of Spanx, your intestinal system SPROINGS out all over the place, BING BONG BOOM BOING BONG BING

[Sarah K]

Yeah. I remember earlier this year a bunch of shit coming out about Spanx that basically said they are compressing internal organs and shit. No bueno.

Here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/20/spanx-shapewear_n_4616907.html

[Charmingly Miserable]

When you're Size 12, all you get are clothes that look like something your 5th Grade Teacher wore.
So true. Im a size 12 and a lot of the cute clothes are in sizes I can't even get one leg into. But that's ok. Maybe I shouldn't be shopping in the junior's section. I wear mostly black and I can make it work regardless of which section I get my clothes are.

The first thing I do when my day is over? I TAKE MY FUCKING BRA OFF!!
I take my bra off as soon as I put my daughter to bed and. I'm a 36D and I think that letting my boobs free for years have left them looking sad. I'm 5'1" and 160-some pounds. I know I will never have a media worthy body nor do I want to look like an underfed object. However, I just can't get over the fact that I have a less desirable body in anyone else's eyes, including my own.

[The_Prowler]

Charmingly Miserable, I've seen your pictures in the Narcissism and Voyeurism thread... you're beautiful.

Truth sauce.

[Sarah K]

Guys, I would gladly chop off a hand to be a size 12.

[halloween]

I've been bra-less for a couple years now. I just wear a tank top under a shirt if I feel self conscious- though, I am in the B sizes, so I'm sure I might feel differently were I in the D's. I recently had a very "revealing" conversation with a girl from France, who broke the stereotype that Europeans don't care. Well, ok, maybe she didn't care but she did notice. She asked me very politely, "So, do you never wear a bra?" and I responded with "Never." She then told me that she did read a study about how it's healthier not to wear bras anyways (a french study I believe). I told her I read that too but had made my decision long before that just because of comfort. Anyways, she confirmed my suspicious that people didn't just notice, but they thought about my bra-less tits, more than I wish. Still not changing my ways though.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Charmingly Miserable, I've seen your pictures in the Narcissism and Voyeurism thread... you're beautiful.

Truth sauce.
Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. I am constantly have a love/hate relationship with my body. I'm not sure if I can get over it. Funny though, I have never talked about my body issues with my therapist.


so I'm sure I might feel differently were I in the D's.
I think for me who is a 36D (now you know), I kinda can't afford to go braless out in public. That would look horrendous. I would love to go braless out in public and I commend those who do so.

So, in two weeks, I'll be doing that one photo shoot I had mentioned earlier. I have made no effort to lose weight for it. I think I just need to do this to show myself that I can look "beautiful" or whatever adjective you want to say. Yikes!

[Digital Twilight]

Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. I am constantly have a love/hate relationship with my body. I'm not sure if I can get over it. Funny though, I have never talked about my body issues with my therapist.


I think for me who is a 36D (now you know), I kinda can't afford to go braless out in public. That would look horrendous. I would love to go braless out in public and I commend those who do so.

So, in two weeks, I'll be doing that one photo shoot I had mentioned earlier. I have made no effort to lose weight for it. I think I just need to do this to show myself that I can look "beautiful" or whatever adjective you want to say. Yikes!

Good for you. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes and the more we celebrate that idea the better off we will all be. It takes courage to show yourself like that so all the more power to you.

[Sarah K]

I would go braless ALL THE TIME if I was able to. But I generally wear an H cup. Haha. Nobody wants to see them shits flying around. Plus, it makes going up and down the stairs painful when they bounce everywhere. I wish that they could remove one of my boobs, and then make two normal sized boobs out of my other one.

I always feel weird not wearing a bra even around home if my roommates are around. Like, I'm getting over it little by little, though. Because they are so uncomfortable. As soon as I get home, I just want to release them.

[icklekitty]

I'm the wrong girl for this conversation. 32F and I'll spend £120 on a bra-girdle-knickers set with a £2 from eBay dress over it.

And now that it's cooler I wear stockings every day.

[The_Prowler]

Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. I am constantly have a love/hate relationship with my body. I'm not sure if I can get over it. Funny though, I have never talked about my body issues with my therapist.
You're so very welcome :) And I meant every word of it; I really think you look wonderful.

[millionmilesaway]

not sure if this belongs here but I went on a date with someone I was chatting with online, he was nice and conversation was good but I wasn't attracted to him physically and we both agreed that our lifestyles were pretty incomparable but we having a good chat so we carried on. Somehow the conversation led to body image and what we found attractive. He kept complimenting me on how much he liked the way I looked and wanted to know why he wasn't my type. I said that he carried a little more weight than I liked and the love handle look wasn't my thing. I thought nothing of it because right before he kinda joked about them but he all of a sudden got kinda pissed and the date ended right there and I went home. Now he is sending me texts about how much I hurt his feelings and that I shouldn't treat human beings that way.
Was I the asshole there or is he just over sensitive about his body image? I still don't see any type of relationship coming out of this so should I apologize or just forget about it and not contact him again?

[aggroculture]

Sounds like he's butthurt about you not being into him, and he's trying to blame you for it somehow. Also making jokes about his own appearance but not being able to take it when other people comment on it - not being able to own it - isn't the biggest sign of maturity. Which is a problem if he's blaming other people for his feelings. I think he needs to work on his own issues.

[Charmingly Miserable]

Ok, so I did that photo shoot today and you know what? I looked pretty damn sexy in my size 12 body.

[Digital Twilight]

Ok, so I did that photo shoot today and you know what? I looked pretty damn sexy in my size 12 body.

That's really awesome.

So errrr. We get to see the results right? :)

[eversonpoe]

was just getting dressed for a friend's x-mas party and i put on a shirt that i've worn a ton of times, but not for the last month or two.
it barely fits, my tummy is causing it to almost pop its buttons, and the vest (which i wear all the time) i put on over it is making me feel completely constricted and gigantic.
and i was already in a horrible mood. :(

i try so hard to eat relatively well, to exercise, and NOTHING has helped me lose weight, at all. i'm not BIG but i'm not in good shape, and i want to feel comfortable in my skin, which i don't, at all. i'm not sure what else to do except starve myself, and i'm not going to do that.

[The_Prowler]

I recently bought a new shirt that looked great at the store. Yes, this is one of those timeless situations. I got it home, went to put it on one day when I was going out and realized "fuck, this shirt makes me look like a pregnant woman with no breasts."

I'd love to shop at places like H&M, Calvin Klein, Express Men and the like, but they seem to cater exclusively to men with bodies like Benedict Cumberbatch: tall and really thin with no body fat of any kind. Just looking in the window makes me feel even more short and dumpy than I already am.

[aggroculture]

Kinda tired of being a fatty these days.
I have put on weight over the last couple of years, but I don't even want to weigh myself to know how much. I'm pretty sure I am over 90 kilos again (yes I am European I think in kilos like pretty much the rest of the whole world).
I can feel it in how my t-shirts hug me.

I have a love/hate relationship with my fat. I've been falling in love with my ass, and been getting into my man-boobs: they may be hairy, but they are tits nonetheless. I wish I could keep the tits and ass, and lose the gut, which I have no love for.

I don't feel very sexy these days.

[Charmingly Miserable]

I weighed myself for the first time in months, and holy shit, Batman. The fucking scale confirmed what I was denying myself: I am a fat bitch. My Old Navy jeans are super snug on me. They give me serous muffin top. I have gained 20lbs in 15 months. I am not cute. I am not good looking. No amount of makeup or black clothes can hide the fact that I am fat. No one wants a fat chick.

[implanted_microchip]

I feel bad because of a lot of posts being about being overweight, but I've always struggled with my weight since the time I turned 8, and in the past several months, between the summer and fall I was able to lose 35 pounds just through eating less and cutting down on my general intake of food, stopped drinking milk and limit my dairy, eat less red meat, etc. Probably the most significant change was simply quitting eating any McDonald's specifically. I went a few days without eating it, then had some and realized that for the entire day after I felt sluggish, unmotivated and just generally depressed, went a few more days without, felt better, had some, felt bad again. No science to back it up, but for whatever reason their food seems to really bring me down and raise my weight, so I've completely cut them out aside from getting a cup of coffee if I'm in a hurry between places, etc.

I've noticed a really significant boost in overall mood and outlook, and I'm feeling drastically more comfortable in my own skin for the first time in a few years. There was a point where I was considered thin, and it was the first time in seven years that I wasn't overweight. I ended up gaining a lot back, but this is the lowest weight I've been at in a couple of years and just am feeling so positive about myself for a change. Between that and really starting to embrace wearing makeup and dying my hair again, I've just felt so much better about myself physically in a way I simply haven't in a long time.

For whatever reason there's almost a pressure on guys to not be that concerned about it, but I've always felt self-conscious for various reasons most of my life when it comes to my appearance, and I've just been hitting this point where I'm not embarrassed to be eating out in a restaurant, or to be eating ice cream in public with my girlfriend and friends, or just walking down the street to do something. It's a lot of little things, but they really just add up and it's been great. I realized my jeans were too big on me and tried on an old pair, and they were even a little loose. It's just a really satisfying feeling, I couldn't be happier with myself about it at the moment. I'm just hoping the weight loss stays consistent and that I don't put it all back on.

[Sarah K]

http://www.salon.com/2014/12/29/love_at_any_size/

[binaryhermit]

My body image is a little weird right now...

I've lost a little over 135 pounds since May and I could probably use to lose at least that much more. But sometimes I still feel like I'm 435 pounds.

But I'm (barely) under 300 pounds for the first time since probably when I was in high school, so I've got that going for me, which is nice, I suppose.

[Charmingly Miserable]

My body image is a little weird right now...

I've lost a little over 135 pounds since May and I could probably use to lose at least that much more. But sometimes I still feel like I'm 435 pounds.

But I'm (barely) under 300 pounds for the first time since probably when I was in high school, so I've got that going for me, which is nice, I suppose.
My goodness. Congratulations on that! Focus on what you have lost instead of the negative. I give you my 100% support.

[Sarah K]

I walked around in a thong and boots in front of a bunch of people the other night.

Two years ago me would have never even began to think about such an absurd thing.

[The_Prowler]

I want to be more trimmed, but I'm not obsessed with having the physique of an olympian. I just don't know how to start without having to pay for a gym membership that I can't afford. I had a free trial membership at a local gym that gets tons of rave reviews, and when I told them what I was trying to accomplish, they started going off about changing my entire diet (which not only isn't dangerously unhealthy, but dramatically changing it would be far more dangerous) and setting me up with a full fledged, seven day a week hardcore regime like I told them I wanted to be the next American Gladiator.
I don't need an action hero body; I just want a flatter gut and to not jiggle when I brush my teeth, especially since I use an electric toothbrush. Once I reach that point, it's just maintenance.

[tony.parente]

The_Prowler a LOT of gyms are only $10 a month now, that's only 2 trips to Starbucks a month.

[Digital Twilight]

Why would changing your diet be dangerous? Diet is a huge part in exercise and being healthy. You can't just run on a treadmill and lift a few weights while eating burgers and expect a big change. What you eat and even when you eat plays a part in maximising your exercise routine. Your body doesn't change overnight, it takes time and a lot of work unfortunately.

The key to exercise too is finding something you enjoy. If going to the gym feels like a chore then maybe try and find a sport or activity that you can stick too. It needs to integrate into your life rather than an addition to your routine.

[millionmilesaway]

I want to be more trimmed, but I'm not obsessed with having the physique of an olympian. I just don't know how to start without having to pay for a gym membership that I can't afford. I had a free trial membership at a local gym that gets tons of rave reviews, and when I told them what I was trying to accomplish, they started going off about changing my entire diet (which not only isn't dangerously unhealthy, but dramatically changing it would be far more dangerous) and setting me up with a full fledged, seven day a week hardcore regime like I told them I wanted to be the next American Gladiator.
I don't need an action hero body; I just want a flatter gut and to not jiggle when I brush my teeth, especially since I use an electric toothbrush. Once I reach that point, it's just maintenance.

simple body weight exercises can do wonders, it can just be hard to find the motivation to work out at home especially if you don't have a good space for it. A pull up bar is the best piece of at home equipment I have ever had. Stick it in a door frame and do one or two pull ups or hanging crunches every time you walk under it. Your arms, back, chest and abs will thank you. Right now I do tricep dips or incline pushups using my kitchen counter every time I use the microwave.

[The_Prowler]

Why would changing your diet be dangerous? Diet is a huge part in exercise and being healthy. You can't just run on a treadmill and lift a few weights while eating burgers and expect a big change. What you eat and even when you eat plays a part in maximising your exercise routine. Your body doesn't change overnight, it takes time and a lot of work unfortunately.

The key to exercise too is finding something you enjoy. If going to the gym feels like a chore then maybe try and find a sport or activity that you can stick too. It needs to integrate into your life rather than an addition to your routine.
I'm a diabetic, so my diet has to cater to that. I need a steady intake of certain kinds of foods to keep my body running properly. This guy was basically telling me I'd have to cut out all carbs, almost all proteins that weren't liquid based and basically half of the shit I need to eat in order to live. As much as I love salad (and I do), I can't live on that alone.
I rarely eat burgers anymore, my intake of fried foods has decreased over the years and I never eat fast food unless I literally have no other choice, so it's not like I'm a junk food junkie. I eat as healthy as I can, but I still need certain nutrients that overzealous gym rats and health nuts think were created by satan to make people fat.

[Digital Twilight]

Ah that makes perfect sense. My brother is diabetic so I know a little about it. Cutting out all carbs and protein that isn't liquid form sounds really wrong anyway. I've never heard that one before.

[The_Prowler]

Some of these people I was talking to were a little... extreme. They were all hardcore vegetarians and vegans and they about shat bricks when I told them the kinds of foods I have to eat to live, and they didn't take me very seriously after that. Some gymaholics I've met can't even take me seriously when I say I want to get in shape because I'm not in shape. I'm not fat, but still, why would someone like that make me feel like shit for not looking like a Greek god? I'm pretty sure they weren't born with 12 pack abs and thighs that could crush bowling balls. I've got potential, I just need help getting started and keeping up with a routine.

[allegro]

A lot of these gym people are stupid, and they're not qualified to be giving dietary or nutritional advice. My hairstylist was taking some HIIT classes and the trainer told her to put grass-fed butter in her coffee to increase her metabolism (kinda junk science at this point) and then insisted that if she REALLY wanted to lose weight (she really doesn't need to, she's fine), she must stop eating all fruit. She loved eating an apple a day, so she was bummed. I told her any so-called diet that made you eliminate fruit was CRAP. Fruit has been a staple in our diets since the beginning of time; fruit is rich in fiber and nutrients and the "sugar" in most fruits (except maybe pineapple which we should eat in moderation) is not bad for us. Tomatoes are a fruit!! Idiot.

My dad is a Type 1 diabetic, he has been my whole life, so, yeah, I know exactly what you mean, and those guys are full of shit.

[Nyx]

That's weird, almost all vegan athletes I know of make fun of low-carb high-protein diets. Vegan diets are usually particularly high in carbs.

[Digital Twilight]

There's so much crap these days and pseudo science when it comes to diet these days. Stop eating fruit? What BS!

[Sarah K]

A lot of these gym people are stupid, and they're not qualified to be giving dietary or nutritional advice. My hairstylist was taking some HIIT classes and the trainer told her to put grass-fed butter in her coffee to increase her metabolism (kinda junk science at this point) and then insisted that if she REALLY wanted to lose weight (she really doesn't need to, she's fine), she must stop eating all fruit. She loved eating an apple a day, so she was bummed. I told her any so-called diet that made you eliminate fruit was CRAP. Fruit has been a staple in our diets since the beginning of time; fruit is rich in fiber and nutrients and the "sugar" in most fruits (except maybe pineapple which we should eat in moderation) is not bad for us. Tomatoes are a fruit!! Idiot.

My dad is a Type 1 diabetic, he has been my whole life, so, yeah, I know exactly what you mean, and those guys are full of shit.

Sounds like he was trying to get her to do Keto or high fat/low carb. It works BETTER THAN ANYTHING I'VE TRIED for losing weight. By far. But it's kinda extreme, and takes a shitload of planning. If someone just needs to lose a few pounds, I would never recommend it to them. But if someone has a lot of weight to lose, I can't say enough good things about it.

[JessicaSarahS]

I feel bad because of a lot of posts being about being overweight, but I've always struggled with my weight since the time I turned 8, and in the past several months, between the summer and fall I was able to lose 35 pounds just through eating less and cutting down on my general intake of food, stopped drinking milk and limit my dairy, eat less red meat, etc. Probably the most significant change was simply quitting eating any McDonald's specifically.

That is awesome! Congrats! I've done the same and I've been working towards an entire vegetarian diet (finally been entirely vegetarian for a full month now), and I'm finally seeing some significant weight loss, woo hoo!



when I told them what I was trying to accomplish, they started going off about changing my entire diet (which not only isn't dangerously unhealthy, but dramatically changing it would be far more dangerous) and setting me up with a full fledged, seven day a week hardcore regime like I told them I wanted to be the next American Gladiator.

Diet is just as important as exercise if you want to get fit. I was able to lose quite a bit of weight with exercise alone when I was younger, but it's much more difficult to do so now that I'm older. I'm very active and love to work out, but I'm still fat. It really took a diet overhaul to see the results that I want. It took me a long time to get into the diet that I need as I did small adjustments and replacements so it wasn't too crazy of a change, but it makes it so much easier to sustain. Instead of doing crazy, immediate overhauls, just start slowly. Go to the gym at least twice a week and drink lots of water one month, then add some more vegetables to one meal a day, etc.

[allegro]

Sounds like he was trying to get her to do Keto or high fat/low carb. It works BETTER THAN ANYTHING I'VE TRIED for losing weight. By far. But it's kinda extreme, and takes a shitload of planning. If someone just needs to lose a few pounds, I would never recommend it to them. But if someone has a lot of weight to lose, I can't say enough good things about it.
That's the thing, she was just trying to lose 5 pounds and fruits are complex carbs. And the problem with Atkins or Paleo or any of those high protein low carb diets (where you aim for ketosis) is your brain needs carbs to function.

And this guy told her that it was the fruit, itself, that was "preventing" her from losing weight; remove that apple and poof, success. First, the success would be totally unrelated to that fucking apple and second, how does she maintain that, for life? It's silly science.

[Sarah K]

http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2015/01/27/meet-size-22-model-signed-major-agency/22419231/

This is the best. I've followed Tess on social media for quite some time. Awesome to see her achieving goals and breaking new ground!

[eversonpoe]

really great article (http://www.vice.com/read/my-eating-disorder-had-nothing-to-do-with-the-media) about eating disorders that supports what i've been saying since high school about my own experiences with them.
(obviously triggering including brief mentions of rape/abuse)

[Halo Infinity]

This is exactly what I'm going through, and his advice and reminders in this video has helped me so far. I thought it might belong in this thread too.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUEJKLXe4P0

[Sarah K]

I'm at a 5 day BDSM/kinky camping thing. In the first 24 hours here, I have worn a swimsuit for the first time since like middle school. Worn shorts for the first time since high school soccer, and just walked around naked. There are like 700 people here, and it's amazing and freeing and an experience of a lifetime. Like two years ago, I wouldn't even wear sleeveless shirts, because I was so self conscious. It is apparently never too late to start loving yourself.

[halloween]

That's fantastic! I'm continually surprised by how little time I spend being self conscious anymore since a couple years ago when it finally sinked it that it's just not worth my energy. That's not to say that I won't think "I'm getting a bit out of shape and I don't like it" and try to make concrete steps towards changing that. I am self-aware though in the sense that I'll find myself doing things around strangers that will make it less likely to see my scars (years of habit) or prevent them from seeing my armpits, when I catch myself doing that though I instantly change it and say "Fuck it, I'm committed to myself and if they're uncomfortable, not my problem."

[Swykk]

I don't think the person I see in the mirror is the same one everyone else sees. I'm lost 42lbs now, which is great, but it's not really helping me physically like myself. I'm still so very self aware. Fuck.

[Rubeninphoenix]

Despite the fact that I've gone from 240 pounds in early March down to 175 now, I am still horrendously conscious about my body image. I know I lack muscle and I still have a small amount of fat around my midsection (but that's going away pretty quickly).

[tony.parente]

I don't think the person I see in the mirror is the same one everyone else sees. I'm lost 42lbs now, which is great, but it's not really helping me physically like myself. I'm still so very self aware. Fuck.
Have you made the transition to weightlifting at all? It has helped my self confidence completely skyrocket since I started, I'd really give it a try if I were you.

[Swykk]

I am unable to do impact workouts because I have peripheral neuropathy (it's especially bad on my left shoulder and arm). So that's unfortunately not an option for me.

[halloween]

I'm sad. I'm going to shave my arm pits =[ In this constant heat, I don't necessarily stink because I use deodorant but I do sweat because I don't wear antiperspirant and it's becoming increasingly annoying when my hairs get tugged by my shirts (if they are sleeveless) because my shirts are made for females who shave, so they rest right in my armpits instead of underneath more. So when I'm damp and my shirt is damp, the movement of my pits becomes abrasive. I really wanted to avoid getting to this point but today my dress tugged and I noticed how sore my arm pit was getting from the repetitive, minute tugging of hairs every so often.

FUCK YOU FASHION INDUSTRY!!!!