Transformers: Age of Extinction

[Hazekiah]

O_O


CALLING IT NOW.
MOVIE OF THE YEAR.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubGpDoyJvmI

[littlemonkey613]

Im so stoked on those dinos. Not gonna lie.

[ManBurning]

No way @Hazekiah (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=1162) dude, Movie of the year is gonna go to the TMNT reboot! This will come in a close 2nd. :)

(oh i'm gonna get soooo flamed for this, and it may seem like sarcasm, but I am 100% dead serious. These are the 2 films I am most excited for this year)

[fillow]

Maybe all transformers will finally extinct in it so there will be no more Transformers movies after this.
Considering this, yeah it has some potential.

[ManBurning]

It definatly looks like it's a more mature/darker movie that they keep saying it is. Less silly slapstick comedy is good in my books.
I thought the first film was great. It had just the right amount of of comedy and action to not make it super over the top stupid like the second movie did.
The second movie was such an abomination, they couldn't even redeem themselves with the third one.

Least they got Optimus right with the flat nosed semi now... Least his new "hidden" form with that busted up truck... He'll probably transform into the new and improved piece of garbage semi we're all used to by the end of the film.

Plus Dinobots! Grimlock! How can you go wrong.

[Archive_Reports]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKD5SNYUpUk

[Hazekiah]

omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg omfg

[Hazekiah]

I've been living on the road since before filming even STARTED for TF:AoE so apologies for my extended absence! I'm STILL on the road but I have a semi-functional smartphone now at least AND I'm kinda back home in Chicago now so I'm couchsurfing here until the movie comes out, damnit!


Mostly because there's no IMAX screen anywhere NEAR my "home" destination and partly because I've seen EVERY SINGLE Midnight premiere of the TF movies right here.


So THIS time I'm doing the SAME thing I did the last time around.





NAVY PIER IMAX 3D
FRONT ROW TICKETS
DEAD F^CK!NG CENTER
@ 9 PM & MIDNIGHT
BACK-TO-BACK, FFS!!!


HUZZAH!!!


\o/


Anyone else?


I'm also chasing Dolby ATMOS (Quasi-) IMAX 3D theaters all day long on the 27th since it's the first FULL day it's out, of course.


Anyone else have any interesting opening night/day plans?


A/S/L, lol


But seriously...I'll be front row center at the Navy Pier IMAX for SIX HOURS straight if anyone wants to hang or have a drink or a smoke or w/e!


And if you DO or DO NOT want to be watching this movie near the MOST enthusiastic and intoxicated fan on the planet, well...FAIR WARNING.


>;)

[kdrcraig]

After Revenge of the Fallen I vowed to never go to another movie on opening day. It wasn't even that the movie sucked, there's just too many god damn people on opening day for IMAX movies. I kind of doubt I'll even see this in the IMAX cause I moved and live about a half hour away from the IMAX now.

I'll probably end up seeing this on a weeknight the week after it releases.

[AgentofChaos]

I have tickets for Thurs night 9pm IMAX but it looks like I'm going to have to pass them on to a friend, as I have to attend an nba draft party that night instead now. Hopefully I'll see it the following day. Revenge of the Fallen almost ruined me on the franchise, it took me a long time after Dark of the Moon released on dvd to even stomach watching it I was so turned off. It was not as good as the first, miles ahead of the second. I kinda hope Extinction will be better than Moon, but don't expect it to be better than the first. Kelsey Grammar factor excites me. Love the trailer line; "I'm going to ask you this once; where is Optimus Prime?"

And for the love of christ, please reuse the bad ass theme from the first film. I feel like they had so many good chances in DotM to use it and they abandoned it completely (save maybe one slight variation of it? Can't recall it's been a while). I just remember being disappointed that in two films you had a chance to use this awesome recurring theme and just completely wasted it. Maybe it's just me, but this is what I associate with autobots rolling out in my head (theme starts at approx 2:30);


http://youtu.be/hDFns0LA7O0?t=2m30s

[ManBurning]

The only 2 movies left this year I am stoked beyond belief for are the TMNT reboot and this. I'll be seeing this movie on opening day, as I have with the last 3.
I only watched a few of the teaser trailers that came out back around the superbowl, so i've been staying away from any of the new trailers so I don't get too much of the movie spoiled for myself.

I already have a good feeling that it'll be worlds better than Revenge of the Fallen. I have something embarrassing to admit though, for some reason... I can't explain, I enjoyed Revenge when I saw it in the theatre. Then it wasn't until I bought it on DVD when I re-watched it, I finally realized what a horrible piece of garbage the entire movie was. So many terrible plot points, acting, horrible jokes. The movie as a whole was just garbage. I don't know why I enjoyed it so much the first time I saw it. Maybe I was just trying to convince myself it was good.

I think the first one still stands the test of time as a decent Transformers movie, that one I can watch again and again and not have it seem stupid to me. I even enjoy dark of the moon. The final battle scene in downtown Chicago was awesome, how basically every one of your favorite transformers got obliterated. That last 30 minute scene makes up for the rest of the subpar 2 hours that leads up to it, because think about it... what do we really want from a Transformers movie? We want 2 hours of giant robots fighting. That's all we really want. I don't give 2 shits about the human element of the storyline. It's just there to bring in people who were not a fan of the cartoon in the 80's so they have something they can relate to.

Oh well, no matter what anyone says, Transformers movies will always be a guilty pleasure of mine.

[kdrcraig]

And for the love of christ, please reuse the bad ass theme from the first film. I feel like they had so many good chances in DotM to use it and they abandoned it completely (save maybe one slight variation of it? Can't recall it's been a while). I just remember being disappointed that in two films you had a chance to use this awesome recurring theme and just completely wasted it. Maybe it's just me, but this is what I associate with autobots rolling out in my head (theme starts at approx 2:30);

I 100% agree. I think that should've been a recurring score in the other two movies, it's great in the first movie. But instead we got Linkin Park songs.

[richardp]

This fucking turd of a film is just shy of 3 hours and only features the Dinobots for about 15 minutes.

http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc49/richardpepper/vVZx9.gif

[october_midnight]

THREE HOURS? God damn...

[ManBurning]

Well... 157 mins to be exact. Which isn't quite 3 hours. Not sure if that running time includes credits or not, but with commercials, movie trailers and/or credits included to that time, expect to be sitting in the theatre for close to 3 hours.

And I hope to god the Dinobots are not in it for just 15 mins... That almost makes me want to boycott this film now. The trailers/internet/marketing/toys are making it seem like the Dinobots are the bulk of the storyline.

EDIT: I love how this article from over a year ago: http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/BatFreak/news/?a=77992 says that Transformers 4 is going to have a shorter running time than the 3rd movie (dark of the moon). Yet I checked it's running time... 154 mins... and T4 is 3 mins longer... LOL... so much for that plan!

[kdrcraig]

If they're only in it for 15 minutes I'm going to be a lot more disappointed in this movie than I already expected to be

[AgentofChaos]

Eh sometimes less is more, ala Joker in TDK. You could do a lot in 15 minutes of screen time if you utilize the time correctly. I'm not too worried. It's not to say it can't be screwed up, it fully could be, but I'll reserve judgement until I see how the pacing of the film is in comparision.

[orestes]

This fucking turd of a film is just shy of 3 hours and only features the Dinobots for about 15 minutes.

http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc49/richardpepper/vVZx9.gif

How else are you going to fit in all that subtle product placement?

[richardp]

How else are you going to fit in all that subtle product placement?

LOL. There's literally a scene where a Transformer destroys a Budweiser truck and Marky Mark stares at it and grabs a can of Budweiser that survived it, cracks it open, and then chugs it with the logo facing right at the screen.

AND YES GUYS DINOBOTS ARE ONLY IN IT FOR 15 MINUTES.

[marodi]

Sounds like you guys have all been Michael Bayed. Whatever that means.

I tried to get into that franchise, I really did but for some reason (Shia Labeouf) I can't even make it through the first film.

[october_midnight]

So what you're saying is..... movie of the year?

[Shadaloo]

Copy-pasting my review from elsewhere:

If you didn't care for any of the prior three entires - and lord knows I sympathize if you didn't - you won't find much of anything to like here. You can stop reading now and I won't be offended.

I can say three nice things about the movie off the bat:
1) The action scenes are of course a thrill to watch
2) The movie is better for the lack of any prior human characters. Kelsey Grammer and Mark Wahlberg are welcome additions to the cast. But most importantly:
3) The Transformers are the real focus here. For the first time, it doesn't feel like a movie about people you don't care for guest starring alien robots with less personality than their 30-year old cartoon counterparts and a mad-on for blowing stuff up. The Autobots of this chapter - I stress that, Autobots - are the most memorable and likeable since the first movie, and I hope most of them stick around. They actually feel like characters. Lockdown's the best villain the series has had, bar none. It's amazing. Just don't expect too much of the Dinobots.


The plot isn't bad - without getting into it in much detail, there's actually some really good concepts going on here sandwiched between buildings collapsing and other very important things that are brushed off without reasonable explanation (or, likely, being left for sequels). In the hands of a better director, such things could be explored more fully. As it is, here they're plot devices introduced in order to bring you the next big bad to blow stuff up with.


A lot of the problems present of old persist. Racial profiling is muted, but still just present enough to be a wee bit uncomfortable. There's still nobody near close to an interesting leading lady (Nicola Peltz is there to literally fuel tensions between Marky Mark and Jack Reynor, scream, and run from things). We may be free of John Tuturro's overacting, but we've switched up for Stanley Tucci as comic relief - though he does get a few good scenes. Also: were you a fan of the cheesy, forced bonding moments between two people while their lives are in danger and they face impossible choices? No? How about Optimus Prime's traditional movie-ending messages? No? Too bad, you're getting 'em again - this time wincingly painful to the point of self-parody.


But the movie's own worst enemy is its pacing. As bad as or worse than Revenge Of The Fallen, to the point where you could shave off entire fight scenes because they're literally there to be fight scenes. There is absolutely NO reason this film had to be three hours long. None at all. Shave off 45 minutes worth of buildings going kaboom and you'd have the best movie in the series. There might actually be more of that happening than all three prior entries combined and holy shit how do you HAVE too much action in an action movie?


I'm almost at a loss here. There's a fair bit to like, but I find the nicest things I can say are that it somewhat tries to fix some things that have been really dragging down the series (bad characters, toilet humor, Shia Laboeuf, pro USA military stance). It just doesn't QUITE get there. It's a better than average Michael Bay Transformers movie, a decent blockbuster, and a terrible movie, if that makes sense. 2nd best Bay TF film. That's not saying much, but it's something. I guess.


A very generous 7/10. Still not up to the first, miles above the dull third, and terrible second films, the latter of which remains a possible argument for all of existence being a form of hell.

[Corvus T. Cosmonaut]

2/10. What the hell is wrong with people.

[ManBurning]

Yeah, I think I'm done with this franchise. I'm not getting tricked into paying for another one of these movies. The movie was waaaay too bloody long. They could have shaved off a good 30 mins if not more.

Was better than the second movie, but that's not hard to accomplish. They got rid of ALOT of the dopey humor from the first trilogy, which was a nice warm welcome.
No more dogs humping dogs or parents getting stoned and running around.

Glad they rebooted the cast. Mark Walberg was actually a decent choice for the lead role in this movie. I didn't mind the female lead either (name slipping my mind), but she was better than Megan Fox and whoever her replacement was in the third film.

There was just too much bullshit in the movie. I was bored through half of it. Maybe i'm just getting too old for these kinda movies, but I couldn't wait til the credits started rolling and I could leave the theatre. It had the total transformers formula down to a T. A buncha humans talk about alien conspiracy stuff and how they want to get rid of the Transformers, the Transformers come out of hiding, a couple battles break loose, some more human jibber-jabber that leads up to an ultimate 30 min showdown between everyone in the middle of a major city and at the end Optimum Prime gives a speech about who he is and how he saved the planet and a rock song starts.

It's the Transformers formula down to a T.

Also, the screen time for the Dinobots was fine. It just seems like they were thrown in there at the last minute to please fans. I couldn't imagine this movie of 3 hours of Dinobots, it would have been stupid. The amount of time they got was essential enough to the story that it wasn't overkill.


Not like Any of them talked anyway, they were just used to win the final battle. Just the "secret special weapon" that just happened to be locked up inside the space ship that the Autobots fled out of Lockdown's main ship with.

[Shadaloo]

2/10. What the hell is wrong with people.

On a scale of actual movies, I think that's about fair. I later edited my elsewhere review to reflect more accurately that I'd give it a 7/10 for a Michael Bay film.

[cashpiles (closed)]

This one was much better than Dark of the Moon. Actually, this Transformers may be the best of the lot. I was entertained most of the way through (except for the first segment where a lot of time is spent inside Lockdown's ship). The CEO character Joshua was having me bust a gut. And then there are moments in this movie that you just feel like a kid..... you feel, wow holy shit this is cool... like when one of the characters gets molten-metaled and Lockdown in car mode drives by in slow-motion... or when Optimus in semi-truck mode "upgrades" on the road from his junked camouflage. I actually loved this movie. I never thought I'd truly enjoy a Transformers movie.

ALSO:

Note the propaganda messages in this film... I'm sure the American government or some interest groups pushed for them. The American flag appears in several sequences and is connected to several events and characters. Each sequence or appearance of the flag is subtly connected with what is present with it, or the current situation or the sequence.

Take one example: A car smashes through a building, driving through we see the American flag followed by a giant police agency logo. Implication: The Americans are the police. This is an international blockbuster film. The Americans continue to subtly program the world's masses through media propaganda.

Last point:

I am not being sarcastic or anything when I say that this movie made me believe that Michael Bay is a genius. He is.

[ManBurning]

Annnnnnd we have this:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00L4IDS4W/comingsoon

Gotta admit, that statue looks pretty badass and I wouldn't mind picking one up. Although I don't give a rats ass if I ever see this movie again (Don't wanna waste another 3 hours of my life sitting though it, toooo long), i'd love that statue for display. And for $80... that's not a bad price. Buy the box set and sell the blu-ray on eBay for $20.

[Conan The Barbarian]

This one was much better than Dark of the Moon. Actually, this Transformers may be the best of the lot. I was entertained most of the way through (except for the first segment where a lot of time is spent inside Lockdown's ship). The CEO character Joshua was having me bust a gut. And then there are moments in this movie that you just feel like a kid..... you feel, wow holy shit this is cool... like when one of the characters gets molten-metaled and Lockdown in car mode drives by in slow-motion... or when Optimus in semi-truck mode "upgrades" on the road from his junked camouflage. I actually loved this movie. I never thought I'd truly enjoy a Transformers movie.

ALSO:

Note the propaganda messages in this film... I'm sure the American government or some interest groups pushed for them. The American flag appears in several sequences and is connected to several events and characters. Each sequence or appearance of the flag is subtly connected with what is present with it, or the current situation or the sequence.

Take one example: A car smashes through a building, driving through we see the American flag followed by a giant police agency logo. Implication: The Americans are the police. This is an international blockbuster film. The Americans continue to subtly program the world's masses through media propaganda.

Or Micheal bay is uber american pride.

Are you OK?

[kdrcraig]

Last point:

I am not being sarcastic or anything when I say that this movie made me believe that Michael Bay is a genius. He is.

HA!


Annnnnnd we have this:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00L4IDS4W/comingsoon

Gotta admit, that statue looks pretty badass and I wouldn't mind picking one up. Although I don't give a rats ass if I ever see this movie again (Don't wanna waste another 3 hours of my life sitting though it, toooo long), i'd love that statue for display. And for $80... that's not a bad price. Buy the box set and sell the blu-ray on eBay for $20.

That statue is pretty bad ass, I just can't see myself paying 80 bucks for it

[mrselfdestruct94]

Saw this on Thursday in Imax. I really try not to be one of those people online that rants about Michael Bay sucking (as a fan of mindless action movies when they're done right I do enjoy some of his films) but for fuck's sake, this movie was a two and a half hour headache and a complete waste of time. I was fine with it for the first hour when they were establishing the characters. For what it was, I enjoyed the setup. I liked Mark Wahlberg's character, the idea of a government agency hunting down Autobots and Decepticons, the concept of humanity having turned against the very thing that was trying to keep them safe...and then the rest of the movie happened.

I have always disliked the fact that apart from Optimus Prime and Bumblebee all of the Transformers are basically wise cracking set pieces. Age of Extinction is no exception. There's a fat robot, an asian robot, and a British one, all of whom don't seem to be distraught that all of their friends and comrades are being killed. They're a means to an end, tools to move the incredibly flimsy plot forward, and nothing else. The only Transformer I found interesting was the bounty hunter, and the third act suffers greatly after he leaves the picture for most of the film. And for god's sake, if your key marketing ploy is telling the movie going public that there will be Dinobots in the movie, please actually put them in the movie. They're there for all of fifteen minutes and all they do is join in during the orgy of destruction that tests the viewer's patience and tolerance for explosions and fight scenes. Again, they're not characters. Neither the screenwriter nor the director even gave a second thought to developing them in any sort of way. They're set pieces and kids will think they look cool so they'll buy the toys after they sit through the movie. Nothing more.

As for the human characters: Mark Whalberg goes from being semi-likeable to incredibly annoying very quickly. His hot daughter is eye candy and goes from mildly annoying to the point where you want to reach through the screen and strangle the life out of her by the end of the movie. All she does is run around and scream. And her boyfriend. Sweet Christ, her goddamn boyfriend. His character arc? He's a racer who doesn't get along with Mark Whalberg and gets called 'Lucky Charms' because he's from Ireland, get it? At the end of the movie they stop bickering and I assume he stops being compared to a cereal mascot. I enjoyed Stanley Tucci and Kelsey Grammer because they're damn good actors who can hold their own in a movie so overbearing and stupid that this almost tops Revenge of the Fallen as the worst in the series. There's so many other characters that just show up and join the main cast that it's ridiculous and comical how much the people in charge of this movie simply did not give a shit about character development. There's the group of scientists that work for Stanley Tucci, the hot scientists who may or may not have had a prior relationship with Stanley Tucci, the asian woman who knows kung fu (the fucking random guy in the elevator who also knows kung fu in what is possibly the stupidest and strangest fight scene these movies have offered up so far) and who the hell knows how many others.

I would like to congratulate Michael Bay for having a movie that is so filled with action scenes and explosions and fights that succeeds in being some of the most painfully boring moments I've ever watched in an action movie. I know this guy doesn't believe in the 'less is more' approach, but throwing everything at the wall and hoping it all sticks is proving to be the least effective manner in which to approach these films. I swear, I think Michael Bay has ADHD and that evidence has never been more apparent than in Age of Extinction and the even worse abortion that is Revenge of the Fallen. For what it's worth, I actually enjoyed the first and third Transformers movies. I thought they were fun action movies. Age of Extinction is excess to a sickening degree.

I think I'm done ranting now. Just don't see this fucking thing.

[Wretchedest]

This is the most oppressively chaotic and stupid movie I have ever seen. It is just dense with retardation and spastic over the top nonsense. It basically goes out of its way to be bizarrely cheesey and stupid. I am impressed by the sheer amount of swinging moving flashing transforming explodiness that this thing is.

Impressively, everyone of this movies far too many characters is some kind of cheap empty stereotype. All of them. Michael Bays magnum opus of racial stereotyping is a Samurai Transformer constantly spouting japanese cliches, who really has no place in the movie anyway, since the character never does anything.

About halfway through the movie, an action sequence takes place that is incredibly difficult to grasp. The motion and the flashing and the exploding is so rampant that it totally distracts you from the fact that the entire set up doesn't make sense. The robots are on some spaceship transformer thing.... the humans are trying to rescue a woman on it... she's being licked by some alien thing.... that's not a transformer, is it?... the swords are guns? ... the space ship is attacking chicago for some reason.

The blonde's sole purpose in this movie is to have villains forcefully press her head against the ground from time to time. The movie is carefully constructed so that you could easily understand any isolated 30 seconds of it, this way you don't have to pay attention to most of it, and why would you. Until, of course, one of the robots starts riding a giant, robotic, two headed pterodactyl.

The cast is composed of actors who know better and cheap imitations of actors who did. Every line is delivered as though the actor were reading it on the spot.

This is like the pinnacle of hilariously bad movies. It is at all times hilariously bad and every scene is dense with stupidity, but it is 3 fucking hours long so even if you and your buddies are drunk enough and are into this sort of thing, it is constantly pushing it's luck after the first 90 minutes. It's as though Michael Bay felt challenged to out Michael Bay himself and then he went Super Saiyan and pushed it through the fucking roof.

[october_midnight]

she's being licked by some alien thing.... that's not a transformer, is it?... the swords are guns? ... the space ship is attacking chicago for some reason.

This is the pinnacle of ETS. This line here. It can't be beat. That's it, wrap it up.

[Deadpool]

Are there any other Film Crit Hulk fans here? He's had a long-standing relationship with the franchise and wrote a great essay about the new one and Michael Bay this week. Aside from being a great read (that is surprisingly + refreshingly reverent* of Bay), it made me realize how I justify paying to see these movies every time one comes out. I can't do that anymore. (but I still want to see this on Netflix or something eventually) If Edge of Tomorrow is still playing in your local theater, for the love of good blockbusters, please see that instead. It's actually really good across the board.

Film Crit Hulk vs. Michael Bay (http://badassdigest.com/2014/07/01/film-crit-hulk-smash-hulk-vs.-michael-bay/)
(http://badassdigest.com/2014/07/01/film-crit-hulk-smash-hulk-vs.-michael-bay/)
*By 'reverent' I mean that Film Crit Hulk un-cynically discusses what he genuinely likes about Bay, which of course is almost nothing compared to what he loathes.

[cashpiles (closed)]

It's as though Michael Bay felt challenged to out Michael Bay himself and then he went Super Saiyan and pushed it through the fucking roof.
this one's pretty good too. lol

[Hazekiah]

OMFG I came SO fucking HARD

o_o

[richardp]

http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc49/richardpepper/BSjsucLCcAMtH8Qpng-large_zpsb339fdf8.png

[elevenism]

i watch these movies with the volume down, just to see the effects and such....honestly.

[kdrcraig]

I enjoyed this, it was just way too fucking long. The power went out for a few minutes from a storm so it was even longer. I thought the Dinobots screen time was fine and awesome, seemed longer than 15 minutes. Stanley Tucci cracked me up, was not expecting that. Plot was stupid and all over the place but they all have been. This was way better than the the second and third ones

[october_midnight]

Thought this was a funny, yet pretty much spot on read... "No, it's not OK to see dumb movies." (http://uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2014/07/no-it-is-not-ok-to-see-dumb-movies-like-transformers/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+uproxx%2Ffeatures+%28Uproxx%2 9)

[Hazekiah]

I fucking LOVE this movie.

Just saw it for the 20th time yesterday.

Can't wait for more!

:D

[thefragile_jake]

I've been meaning to write this....

Lately, I haven't been wanting to go the movies much. I haven't had time and there really hasn't been too much out there that I am willing to spend money on and sit for a good two hours of my time to watch. The last few movies I was really pumped to see in the theater were more than likely Raid 2 or Nymphomanic and both of those came and went and I never had the chance to see them at the show. I usually hang out with a friend of mine every week and we try to watch "so bad, they're good" type of movies on Netflix or download them and watch and laugh. I feel like after doing this for several years with watching films like The Room, Samurai Cop, Miami Connection, Troll 2, Birdemic...I can stand watching anything and get through them all right. Maybe that's why I was even intrigued to go see this at the theater as well? I've heard nothing both horrible, horrible things so I was interested to see how low a big budget, blockbuster series that I felt clearly ran out of steam could go. On a good note, I always loved Peter Cullen as Prime when I was younger so I just love the look of him with that iconic voice....so I went in expecting perhaps a stupidly fun movie that I could laugh at how bad it was.

I didn't enjoy myself at all. Transformers 4 is without a doubt one of the worst movies I've ever seen and the only movie I've walked out of the theater on.

There had to have been like 15 or so minutes left but I couldn't do it. My brother and I both felt the same way and we were both drained in the most exhausting and bored way possible. I have no fucking idea why this movie is as long as it is and why on Earth it's as fucking boring as it is as well. It's incredibly tedious, asinine and above as else...mean-spirited. I could not believe how stupidly racist this was, I know the second one got a lot of flack for those two robots voiced by Tom Kenny but while this one doesn't smack you over the face again and again with it...it's highly racist as well.

Michael Bay and Paramount took my money that day I paid to see this and he took my money on a film I didn't even finish and had no desire to continue to watch ever again. I know, jokes on me as it should've been expected. The worst part is, I have seen each film in this series at least once and nothing ever memorable has stuck with me. Again...jokes on me. I don't know why anyone would enjoy this movie. I don't see what's in this for people to love. I especially don't understand how someone would ever watch this movie 20 times. Good lord.

All in all....this was one of the worst movie going experiences I've ever had. I know these movies have a bad reputation so I blame myself partly for getting sucked in and being interested to see how horrible this was (I even felt embarrassed buying the tickets) but this was just an un-enjoyable bad movie in every way.

[cashpiles (closed)]

^^^ Sorry you had such an experience with this movie. I feel like the comedic moments in this film were some of the funniest I've seen in a long while and funnier than some so-called comedy films.

This is the highest grossing film of all time in China. The Chinese people are proud of their rising prominence on the world stage and it's cool to see parts of the film take place in China. I went to see this film in Beijing and the Chinese audience really loved the fact that this international Hollywood film would include China like it did.

[screwdriver]

every now and then I think about seeing this movie out of some ironic sense of curiosity about "how bad can it be" and "maybe its sort of Lynch-ian in its total abandonment of logic and cohesion," but then I read posts like this

[Demogorgon]

i bought the Rise of the Dark Spark xbox game (which was half good, but i'm digressing) and it came with what was a essentially a coupon code for two free tickets to see Age if Extinction. i'd had no plans to see it before then, but figured, what the hell, if it's free, who gives a shit? so me and the lady went to see it. having done so, i likely wouldn't have paid to see it if i'd been given that option, but to be fair, it wasn't the worst addition to the series. i found at least a few things to like in each movie, while not generally being a fan of the entire franchise at this point. Acting wise, the characters were better than i thought, on the human end of the scale. i actually thought Mark Wahlberg delivered a decently believable performance, as did Kelsey Grammar and the big business inventor guy. Everyone else was kind of... eh. The acting for the transformers themselves was, for the most part, garbage, lazy one liners, and pointless interaction that went nowhere, like the little fight between Bee and Drift in the canyon. it was so abrupt and had no real meaning or conclusion. Lockdown was a believable villain for being a relative newcomer. He was enigmatic, he didn't over dramaticize, and he just came off as the right level of asshole to make a good villain. even the story, what little of it there was, seemed cohesive enough. like others have said though, the movie is relentless in it's length. it's just action-action-action-action-dramatic talking scene-action-action-action-slow camera tension-action-action-action throughout the whole thing, and it just exhausts you. still, all of that being said, it wasn't the worst film i've ever seen, and certainly wasn't the worst transformers film i've ever seen.

[thefragile_jake]

every now and then I think about seeing this movie out of some ironic sense of curiosity about "how bad can it be" and "maybe its sort of Lynch-ian in its total abandonment of logic and cohesion," but then I read posts like this

Yeah, it's really that bad. Especially after the fact that I saw Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Apes was probably one of the best movie experiences I've ever had in the fact that it was high action but a smart, well paced, emotional and thought out script.

There's just so much in Transformers that calls attention to how bad and dry it is that it's not even fun in the ironic sort of way. Stanley Tucci's talents are wasted as is half of the cast as it spirals out of control into this long winded and bloated film. I'm shocked at how successful this one really is, I haven't heard anything besides negative word of mouth either. This is what actually has me really worried about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles next month. I've always been a TMNT fan since I was a kid and as I mentioned in that thread, you could almost say I've been waiting for this new TMNT film for almost 20 years now. I really hope that Michael Bay's crudeness, blunt racism and lack of attention to detail stays far away or isn't so apparent. I've been really getting into TMNT again and reliving what that franchise consumed all of my childhood...so I can only imagine how Transformers loyalist feel.

All in all, Transformers isn't even a fun popcorn movie. There's nothing fun about it at all. I'll still continue to sing it's faults and if this is your sort of thing...so be it. You certainly have the ability to turn your brain off more than I do.

[screwdriver]

Yeah, it's really that bad. Especially after the fact that I saw Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Apes was probably one of the best movie experiences I've ever had in the fact that it was high action but a smart, well paced, emotional and thought out script.

There's just so much in Transformers that calls attention to how bad and dry it is that it's not even fun in the ironic sort of way. Stanley Tucci's talents are wasted as is half of the cast as it spirals out of control into this long winded and bloated film. I'm shocked at how successful this one really is, I haven't heard anything besides negative word of mouth either. This is what actually has me really worried about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles next month. I've always been a TMNT fan since I was a kid and as I mentioned in that thread, you could almost say I've been waiting for this new TMNT film for almost 20 years now. I really hope that Michael Bay's crudeness, blunt racism and lack of attention to detail stays far away or isn't so apparent. I've been really getting into TMNT again and reliving what that franchise consumed all of my childhood...so I can only imagine how Transformers loyalist feel.

All in all, Transformers isn't even a fun popcorn movie. There's nothing fun about it at all. I'll still continue to sing it's faults and if this is your sort of thing...so be it. You certainly have the ability to turn your brain off more than I do.

your problem may be being wrapped up in material that was designed/packaged to sell get kids to beg their parents to buy them toys

I'm all for the occasional embrace of nostalgia but lets not act like we're dealing with high art

[thefragile_jake]

your problem may be being wrapped up in material that was designed/packaged to sell get kids to beg their parents to buy them toys

I'm all for the occasional embrace of nostalgia but lets not act like we're dealing with high art

I can see your point, but I still think you can have a decent film while also being clearly a toy commercial. I feel the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film 1990 does this....and mayyyybe the first Transformers film, but then again I haven't seen that movie since it came out.

[screwdriver]

I can see your point, but I still think you can have a decent film while also being clearly a toy commercial. I feel the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film 1990 does this....and mayyyybe the first Transformers film, but then again I haven't seen that movie since it came out.

fair point, the lego movie was excellent

[Jinsai]

I fucking LOVE this movie.

Just saw it for the 20th time yesterday.

Can't wait for more!

:D

What the fuck... Please tell me you're joking

[Self.Destructive.Pattern]

Just got back from seeing this and I knew what I was in for. Cheesy lines, bad acting, and special effects galore. It really did not have to be as long as it was since it started to drag a bit once they got on Lockdown's ship. The only reason I go to see these movies is for the Transformers and the action, but in this film I felt this was the least that we see any fighting between the Transformers or any other villains. The Dinobots were freaking awesome, and once again.. Bumblebee is just so cool and Hound was a big pleasure to watch; John Goodman did a great job with him. At least the other films had the old school Decepticons and such so there is a decent amount of nostalgic value they still hold. This film just didn't have enough Transformers in it, or even any action from them and that was a huge letdown. Lockdown was pretty cool, but I would have loved to see some more action between him and Prime. I would really love to have a Transformers movie that was with a different director and writers obviously... and just more freaking robots, and less human interaction. I always find myself yelling at the screen for the cameras to focus on the Transformers fighting in the background or around the humans, instead of seeing 3 seconds of action and the camera cutting off to what the humans are crying or yelling about. We wanna see robots fighting!! Not drama filled nonsense.

All in all, I still enjoyed myself, but this franchise needs a serious reboot so it is only a matter of time.

[bobbie solo]

I fucking LOVE this movie.

Just saw it for the 20th time yesterday.

Can't wait for more!

:D

seek help.

[Wretchedest]

There's something to be said about the collective meta-viewing of this movie, the impassioned response and heated conversations that followed its release. Bad movies are released every weekend, and no one bats an eye. But this is one of the few Ive seen where articulate, scholarly folk have been compelled to dissect it, either from its sheer complex badness and/or because of an embarrassing need to justify the morbid curiosity that brought them into the theater. There are very few movies we've discussed in my many years on ETS where a person has opted for rape instead, and then when accused of an off color exaggeration, defended their choice. Stranger in contrast with Hazekiah, expressing his enthusiasm in that way he is known to do, met with a sort of silent confusion! Whoa!

Interesting to me the sheer number of great movies out there, great modern movies, even! But this one has generated perhaps the most discussion, and even stranger, some of the deepest discussion in recent memory. Perhaps because the internet is more about talking shit about things than it is about celebrating things. As I mentioned before, it is a bafflingly bad movie, but the collective internet response is the most intriguing thing about it.

[Hazekiah]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/BuIBkj6CEAESjjG_zpsce2cc3a2.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/10455188_740737975961652_4759707080163455427_n_zps 4357d360.jpg




What the fuck... Please tell me you're joking

I'm not sure why anyone would doubt ME of all people on THIS point, lol.

I didn't get to see it as many times as I would've liked, but I'll admit it was a pretty good run nevertheless.

I'm missing some ticket stubs here obviously but I saw it 28 times altogether and at least twice a day for the whole first week, w00t.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/TF_AoE_Ticket_Stubs_w00t_zps87fe2233.jpeg


YOU'RE
WELCOME,
NOW BRING ON
TRANSFORMERS 5 & 6!!!

\m/ -___- \m/

[thefragile_jake]

I'm missing some ticket stubs here obviously but I saw it 28 times altogether and at least twice a day for the whole first week, w00t.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/TF_AoE_Ticket_Stubs_w00t_zps87fe2233.jpeg


http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5uh66cYjW1qh3m2a.png

[ManBurning]

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5uh66cYjW1qh3m2a.png[/CENTER]

Yeah... I'm pretty damn speechless as well...
Who has the time to watch a 3 hr long movie 28 times... sometimes TWICE a day? That's 6 hours of your day gone...
Collectively, that's 84 hours spent watching this movie... that's 3 and a half days worth of transformers 4...
Oh my...

[thevoid99]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/BuIBkj6CEAESjjG_zpsce2cc3a2.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/10455188_740737975961652_4759707080163455427_n_zps 4357d360.jpg





I'm not sure why anyone would doubt ME of all people on THIS point, lol.

I didn't get to see it as many times as I would've liked, but I'll admit it was a pretty good run nevertheless.

I'm missing some ticket stubs here obviously but I saw it 28 times altogether and at least twice a day for the whole first week, w00t.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/TF_AoE_Ticket_Stubs_w00t_zps87fe2233.jpeg


YOU'RE
WELCOME,
NOW BRING ON
TRANSFORMERS 5 & 6!!!

\m/ -___- \m/




You make me sad.

[screwdriver]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/BuIBkj6CEAESjjG_zpsce2cc3a2.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/10455188_740737975961652_4759707080163455427_n_zps 4357d360.jpg





I'm not sure why anyone would doubt ME of all people on THIS point, lol.

I didn't get to see it as many times as I would've liked, but I'll admit it was a pretty good run nevertheless.

I'm missing some ticket stubs here obviously but I saw it 28 times altogether and at least twice a day for the whole first week, w00t.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/TF_AoE_Ticket_Stubs_w00t_zps87fe2233.jpeg


YOU'RE
WELCOME,
NOW BRING ON
TRANSFORMERS 5 & 6!!!

\m/ -___- \m/




its really none of my business but since you're making such an issue out of your time commitment to this…
do you have a job? school? I'm legitimately curious how you have the time to do this. What is your daily life like?

[TheyCallMeDrug]

so you paid over $300 in 2 weeks to see the same movie? you have issues man, i dont care what movie it was.

[bobbie solo]

well, you all know the dude is a bit off right? that's been established on here for a minute. not everything is right up top. He's been an obsessive dude for a long time.

[TheyCallMeDrug]

duly noted

[ManBurning]

its really none of my business but since you're making such an issue out of your time commitment to this…
do you have a job? school? I'm legitimately curious how you have the time to do this. What is your daily life like?

Keep in mind this is the same guy that can somehow find time to hit every US show on a Marilyn Manson tour with the drop of a hat.
I would like to know how he has all this free time and money to burn as well. Must be nice.

[Wretchedest]

well, you all know the dude is a bit off right? that's been established on here for a minute. not everything is right up top. He's been an obsessive dude for a long time.



Theres being baffled, and theres being an asshole.

If the dude wants to see transformers ashocking number of times and can afford to do it.... Fucking let him! Good for him! I wish i could do the things i love that much. I dont see why people have to start flaming about it.

[bobbie solo]

im not trying to start anything. im simply giving the explanation for the 28 viewings, the following Manson around, the inevitable post about seeing TMNT 30 times, etc. Maybe not everyone has read do many of his posts for years like others here have.

[Wretchedest]

Ive read them. And its not the life i would choose, by any stretch but i think the discussions taking a very uncomfortable and personal turn .

[Hazekiah]

Thanks! You're very kind to mention that. A few of these a bastards DO kind of have a problem with it and ARE kind of a constant thorn in my side. Or wish they were, at least.

For the most part idgaf, though.

I'm used to the ets peanut gallery troll-fests by now, so it's w/e.




https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t31.0-8/10514341_10152289105196918_4277964736014370079_o.j pg




Yeah... I'm pretty damn speechless as well...
Who has the time to watch a 3 hr long movie 28 times... sometimes TWICE a day? That's 6 hours of your day gone...
Collectively, that's 84 hours spent watching this movie... that's 3 and a half days worth of transformers 4...
Oh my...


You make me sad.


its really none of my business but since you're making such an issue out of your time commitment to this…
do you have a job? school? I'm legitimately curious how you have the time to do this. What is your daily life like?


so you paid over $300 in 2 weeks to see the same movie? you have issues man, i dont care what movie it was.


well, you all know the dude is a bit off right? that's been established on here for a minute. not everything is right up top. He's been an obsessive dude for a long time.


im not trying to start anything. im simply giving the explanation for the 28 viewings, the following Manson around, the inevitable post about seeing TMNT 30 times, etc. Maybe not everyone has read do many of his posts for years like others here have.


Keep in mind this is the same guy that can somehow find time to hit every US show on a Marilyn Manson tour with the drop of a hat.
I would like to know how he has all this free time and money to burn as well. Must be nice.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3sa84fBzl1qkqfh2o1_500.gif

Mostly, I just work my fucking ass off in concentrated, extended bursts, save my money, take time off, live cheap, love to do this shit, and I'm fucking GOOD at it.

For instance, in most cases I actually sneaked into my second and third daily screenings of this movie. And I hit up lots of discounted matinee showings. I also redeem tons of credit card points for theater chain gift cards when it gets close to the release date of another Transformers movie. Likewise, I have Regal Cinemas Crown Club and AMC Stubs Customer Rewards cards. And I pick up any spare tickets I find in the theaters and take them to the manager's desks to have their point-values added to my card in addition to those of the tickets I've purchased myself. PRO-TIP: the recycling bins for 3D glasses are a good place to find extra tickets 'cause most people are lazy, unthinking assholes, lol. Plus, I collect the collector's 3D glasses for movies I like so I'm digging through the boxes anyway. Bonus!

Hell, recently I returned to Chicago after an extended absence (Manson tour, w00t), and I was flat-broke but I still had a reward-points gift card so I went anyway, only to discover the theater had been bought out by another chain. So I calculated the runtimes vs. the start times of every movie showing that night and got baked and tipsy while I waited an hour for 7 different movies to end at roughly the same time so I could just walk in through the EXIT when about 200 people all filed out of two doors at the same time. Then I ducked down the hall for the IMAX room and grabbed some free 3D glasses out of the recycling bin. Cheap AND convenient!

And it was a nice warm summer in Chicago so rather than bugging my pals late at night while I was visiting town on certain nights I'd occasionally just walk across the street from the last showings at a particular theater and sleep under the 3rd story stairway on the rooftop of a nearby business before waking up at dawn, leaching wi-fi during a discounted daily special breakfast at the Subway a couple blocks away (or sometimes just hopping a few rooftops over to leach a closer Burger King's wi-fi if I wasn't hungry yet) and then redeeming my latest reward points for the first showing the next day. And then sneaking into more afterward if I felt like it, lol.

It's all MUCH more simple and comfortable than you'd probably expect and WAY more fun than you'd think. Smoking outside and sneaking in drinks and meals is never very difficult either. You just have to know what you're doing, and experience is the best teacher. Not my first rodeo and all that.

And, while we're at it, Manson saw my awesome, tripped-out footage of his show with The Doors at the Sunset Strip Music Festival and randomly facebook messaged me out of nowhere a couple days later to invite me to his L.A. home while I was in town. WTF!!! I had to explain that I'd already used my discounted one-week Discovery Pass to Greyhound back to Illinois and would've been on a plane back to visit him immediately except I was still so goddamned broke from the 1st leg of the Hey, Cruel World Tour and the special trip JUST for the show with The Doors that I simply COULD NOT afford it, especially not with all the more expensive Twins of Evil shows going on sale soon.

So he told me not to sweat it and he'd just guest list me. I thought he meant one show and sent him a list of the ones I was planning on trying to get to and asked him to tell which he'd like to guest list me for before I bought the rest and he said not to worry, I was guest listed for EVERYTHING.

I mean, HOLY FUCKING FUCK.

O_O

I've had free tickets and passes waiting for me at the Will Call window for every Manson show since September of 2012. Believe me, that fucking helped A LOT. Of course, I spent the difference (and then some) making sure I made it to EVERY SINGLE SHOW OF 2013...but, umm, it just seemed like the thing to do given the circumstances, lol.

What can I say? Sometimes HARD WORK actually pays off, kids!

\m/

Back to the moviegoing, however...

These are fucking TRANSFORMERS movies.

I didn't wait my whole life for one of my favorite franchises to be adapted into kick-ass live-action photorealistic summer blockbuster movies on the big screen just to watch them on a goddamned iPhone or a laptop or whatever.

Nooooo, I'm going to see them on the biggest fucking IMAX screen I can find and I'm going for the BEST new 7.1 and/or Dolby Atmos experience possible. I want these fucking things LIFE-SIZED and LOUD AS FUCK and I'm am FRONT ROW CENTER every fucking time, man.

AND ZOMFG THE MINDBLOWING,
FACEMELTING 3D.

HOLYYYYYYYYY FUCKKKKKKKKKK.

And I get to do it cheap as hell and as much as I want?

Haha, you're goddamned right.

Sign me up, because I AM THERE.


O_O

[TheyCallMeDrug]

...............and i didnt read any of that but congrats on being A+ troll #1! (at the very least clean up the presentation of your babbling nonsense, jesus christ...)

[ManBurning]

...............and i didnt read any of that but congrats on being A+ troll #1! (at the very least clean up the presentation of your babbling nonsense, jesus christ...)

You know what? He's totally trolling us. He never went to see this movie 28 times, he just admitted to digging through 3D glasses recycling boxes for Movie stubs.
That photo above with all the movie tickets, he probably just collected them off the ground for the purpose of taking a photo, throwing it up here and seeing what kind of reactions he got out of it, and he's the one laughing behind his screen now because we all actually think someone was ridiculous enough to see a movie like this 28x in the theater.

Hell, 4 of the tickets are IDENTICAL time and date showings anyway. July 12th at 4pm.

[Hazekiah]

Ugh.

The tickets I found in the recycle bins were all for long-gone movies like Star Trek Into Darkness and Despicable Me 2, and couple for more recent movies like Edge of Tomorrow, X-Men: Days of Future Past and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. I even found some for movies that weren't even in 3D like Deliver Us from Eva and Think Like a Man Too, lol. And each time I'd find some it was literally like maybe 2 or 3 random tickets altogether in any given bin I'd searched. But the dollar values and reward points add up quick and thankfully they jump right out at you if you look 'cause, well...they're not glasses.

The Bumblebee and Optimus Prime 3D glasses were only available on the opening nights so I'd looted all the bins for them immediately, long before they'd theoretically accumulated any tickets for this movie.

And the four tickets for the same screening were from me taking my friends because...wait for it...it was practically FREE for me do so thanks to all my gift cards and reward points. I was sick of going alone every day, gimme a break. I still got my pals their tickets and I'm still WAY short on the number of tickets I have relative to the number of times I actually saw the movie, so I figured it was fair to include them.

The ENTIRE collage of my tickets is arranged in chronological order -- L-R, top-to-bottom -- from opening night to the end of the first month, with the dates and times all clearly printed on their faces. So I'd think it's obvious I wasn't trying to get away with anything sneaky there, ffs.


You know what? He's totally trolling us.


...............and i didnt read any of that but congrats on being A+ troll #1!



https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t31.0-8/10514341_10152289105191918_511984080397465142_o.jp g


And "Clean up the presentation," you say...?

What, complete sentences and paragraphs with proper punctuation, spelling, grammar, and nicely-centered graphics aren't polished enough?

And fucking PLEASE.

I'm the Transformers fan responding in detail to personal attacks about my being a Transformers fan and actually engaging in conversation about seeing the Transformers movies in a thread about Transformers movies while YOU ignore entire posts simply for the sake of dishing out further insults...yet somehow I'M the one who's trolling here?!?

Okay, sure.

'Cause that makes sense.

I guess I faked going to all those Manson concerts I filmed (https://www.youtube.com/user/ChartreusianInfusion/videos), too.

And I guess I faked spending a fortune on going to Universal Studios Orlando for "Transformers: The Ride"...


https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/t1.0-9/1545039_10152032984776918_1024232365_n.jpg


And I guess I faked stealing this lenticular 3D flyer-stand for "Transformers: The Ride" under my Manson hoodie from a hotel lobby down the street from Universal Studios Los Angeles when I was in town to see Manson at the Gibson Amphitheater before they tore it down...



https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/t31.0-8/861039_10151315672671918_560171212_o.jpg


OH, WAIT


https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1.0-9/971314_10151439381446918_1681552843_n.jpg

GFY

[screwdriver]

thanks for answering the question! your life seems pretty crazy!

[fillow]

I'm hoping for the next TRANSFORMERS movie to be scored by MARILYN MANSON.
Just to see the pandemonium at ETS.

[Khrz]

If you want real pandemonium, have reznor score it and watch everyone writhe in horror, joy, pleasure, shame, pain and guilt all at once.

[october_midnight]

Hey, I say if a grown ass man wants to spend his time dumpster diving, living on rooftops, being flat broke, digging shoulder deep in a theater's 3D glasses bin, and sitting through a shit movie 28 times all in the name of 'the ultimate party mannnn!!!!' then all the power to ya lol.

[screwdriver]

Hey, I say if a grown ass man wants to spend his time dumpster diving, living on rooftops, being flat broke, digging shoulder deep in a theater's 3D glasses bin, and sitting through a shit movie 28 times all in the name of 'the ultimate party mannnn!!!!' then all the power to ya lol.

honestly, it takes a ll kinds, man. this guy is living a life that I can't imagine for myself but sounds pretty fun (for a month or two). good for him. I wish he had better taste in movies, but that's just me being a dick ;-)

haz: have you read that giant 400+ essay by some reddit guy on how the transformer movies are actually critiques of military culture and liberal democracy?

[Wretchedest]

This is the least boring thread on ETS for a very long time.

A man regailed us with tales of dumpster diving for tickets and 3D glasses so that he could see Transformers 4, 30 times in one week, in between seeing every Marilyn Manson show.

10/10 will read again.

[Hazekiah]

thanks for answering the question! your life seems pretty crazy!

My pleasure, thanks for reading! And, yeah, I try to have fun when and where I can.

I kind of consider it urban camping and find the challenge enjoyable and satisfyingly adventurous. Plus, it's good practice for living on the road with limited resources while chasing tours for weeks or even months at a time, too.

WIN/WIN

:)


I'm hoping for the next TRANSFORMERS movie to be scored by MARILYN MANSON.
Just to see the pandemonium at ETS.

I'm kinda surprised he hasn't wound up on a soundtrack yet. I mean, Transformers are literally mechanical animals, after all. And The High End of Low had a song with him singing the word "fallen" repeatedly and was released the same month as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen...it just seemed like a gimme, I guess.

But oh well.

Same goes for Dredd and "Slo-Mo-Tion." How in the hell did that NOT wind up on the soundtrack?!?

:-\


honestly, it takes a ll kinds, man. this guy is living a life that I can't imagine for myself but sounds pretty fun (for a month or two). good for him. I wish he had better taste in movies, but that's just me being a dick ;-)

haz: have you read that giant 400+ essay by some reddit guy on how the transformer movies are actually critiques of military culture and liberal democracy?

I watch an incredibly wide variety of movie genres. I'm just as likely to be caught watching the Transformers movies for the five-billionth time as I am to be watching obscure documentaries or German expressionist cinema or microbudget independent films or a Pixar movie or w/e.

And, no, I haven't read that essay...but from the description alone I'm pretty sure I see where they're coming from and get the gist of it.

I've written many, many essays about the films myself, there's actually a LOT to sink your teeth into there.


Hey, I say if a grown ass man wants to spend his time dumpster diving, living on rooftops...


A man regailed us with tales of dumpster diving for tickets and 3D glasses so that he could see Transformers 4, 30 times in one week, in between seeing every Marilyn Manson show.

10/10 will read again.

Glad you enjoyed it!

And maybe you SHOULD read it again. I never once mentioned dumpster diving (or "living" on rooftops) or seeing this movie any more than 28 times in a MONTH or even watching it at all between Manson shows.

: P

[Shadaloo]

I just want to quietly step in and strongly recommend that anyone who wants some legitimately good Transformers fiction and reads comics should really, really pick up James Roberts' More Than Meets The Eye series in TPB form (there are currently five volumes available and a miniseries, Last Stand Of The Wreckers, that came before). The man is working hard to add intrigue, world-building, character and depth to TF in a way nobody ever really has. Caste systems, same-sex relationships (insofar as sex is even a thing among a race of robots), PTSD, eugenics, political drama, space horror...it's all there. Way better than watching Bay blow stuff up for two hours any day (no offense if you enjoy that).


Okay going away now bye

[october_midnight]

Glad you enjoyed it!

LOL me too, it's awesome now livin' like a bum, considering the price of admission to Universal Studios 'a fortune' (what is it...a hundred bucks or something? oooh). Even better is how awesome it's gonna be having no money once 40 hits and it's 'man, following that Manson tour was sick! Wish I had a roof.'

[littlemonkey613]

Lol ya'll are mean

[Jinsai]

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/t1.0-9/1545039_10152032984776918_1024232365_n.jpg





... wait... are you the cosplay jpop idol also known as "Ladybeard?"

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--kzifBolR--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/ubshqbdp46xcqmiorogm.jpg

[Rdm]

This discussion is hilarious . I really enjoyed the read

[Self.Destructive.Pattern]

People are obsessive..... wowww what a sur...prise?? More power to you if you want to see a movie 28 times in whatever fashion you do it in. Stamp collections... playing a video game to beat it over and over again.. watching a movie in the comfort of your own home... yea it may seem insane, but if that's you that's you. Shit.. I watched the movie Brick almost 10 times in two days. Whatevs.

[Hazekiah]

Building upon the foundation of my earlier essay examining the connections between Star Trek and Transformers: Dark of the Moon ("Arise, SPOCKTIMUS PRIME" Parts ONE (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/565-Transformers?p=23950#post23950) and TWO (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/565-Transformers?p=23951#post23951)), I couldn't HELP but add a bit more when I saw Transformers: Age of Extinction...


OMFG
DID ANYONE ELSE SEE
SPOCK IN CADE'S BARN?


Erm...Cade's laboratory, that is, lol.

Spock's likeness was kinda hidden in the shadows and only seen briefly, but it was definitely there!

So, let's discuss a couple things about that.

Firstly, it's very interesting that of ALL the photos they could've used of Spock, they chose one of him in his RED uniform from the movies (as opposed to his shirt from the show or his quickly-discarded wardrobe from the 1st film). "Interesting," I say, because not only are there so many different uniforms of Spock's to choose from, but the one they chose was first introduced in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan!

That's right, the very same film from which they sampled Bumblebee's dialogue in Transformers: Dark of the Moon, as well as the source of Sentinel Prime's clever line, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

Not to mention, of course, the fact that the photo of Spock in his red uniform is YET ANOTHER example of the "color coding" found in these films, as I've detailed in several earlier threads such as this example (http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-movie-discussion/510454-red-cup-freakout-scene-core-movie.html).




AWESOMENESS.




Also of interest, Cade's barn, again, was much MORE than just a barn. It was actually a laboratory...you know, for an INVENTOR. And what was Sentinel Prime again?

That's right. An inventor!

Sentinel Prime of course created the Pillars, a space bridge technology suspiciously similar to the transporter beams of Star Trek lore. And Sentinel was not only described as "the technology's inventor," but what else?

That's right, "the Einstein of his civilization."

Hell, Sentinel Prime was even first introduced in conjunction with Einstein, way back in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, when Sam disproved Einstein's theories with a rant about the Sentinel Prime expedition during his first day of college in Astronomy 101.

And in addition to Cade's barn serving as a lab for an inventor AND a hiding spot for Sentinel's fellow Prime and successor, any guesses who else's picture was hanging in there with Spock's...?




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/_aa_albert_zps8ce6cd7d.jpg




Annnd that photo of Spock wasn't just hanging on the walls like most of the other set decorations on display.

Nooooo.

Spock's picture was hanging on a support beam in the middle of the structure.

Or, in other words, Spock's picture was literally hanging ON A PILLAR.

Hmmmmmmmm.





INTRIGUING.




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/bf5ab096-17da-4e48-afe2-78925ac136dc_zps08e175e1.jpg?t=1410691193

[screwdriver]

I was just on a 10 hour flight, on which this movie was available to watch for free. I turned it on out of boredom, thinking I would make it 15 minutes. You know what? This was actually a really interesting, well made movie. I'm not being ironic. I'm not going so far as to say it was good, but I really enjoyed it and not in a mindless action way (though I was impressed with the action cinematography).

I have no connection to the franchise whatsoever. But it had its own rules, it had a vast mythology that I found interesting, and the characters had arcs. I'm not really sure what the hell people flipped out about. (I would've trimmed about 20 minutes but still.) lots of great set pieces (loved it on the bounty hunter guys ship).

[Hazekiah]

STORE DISPLAYS
SAID "STEEL"
I ASSUMED THAT
WAS A TYPO

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/_A_steal_zpscb1c6aaa.jpg

[Halo Infinity]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9K6R35Ah-k

[Hazekiah]

Just a quick heads-up for anyone who doesn't quite have their ear to ground as much as I do about these movies...

So Paramount has gotten SUPER serious about expanding the current, ongoing films into a full-blown "Transformers Cinematic Universe" of interconnected sequels, prequels, and spin-offs!!! And ZOMFG the crew they're assembling in the writer's room...

Firstly, the whole enterprise is headed-up by Akiva Goldsman. Yeah, when he was young and hungry he worked on Batman Forever and Batman & Robin. But he ALSO won an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay for A Beautiful Mind later on in his career, which also won Best Picture that year.

So who has he assembled as his writing team for the new Transformers movies?

Well, Robert Kirkman, for starters. Yes, THAT Robert Kirkman!!! Holy shit, the guy who created "The Walking Dead."

MAJOR FUCKING SCORE.

Then he also got Ken Nolan, who wrote the screenplay for Black Hawk Down.

I mean...fuck.

Also on the team are Art Marcum and Matt Holloway, the co-writers for Iron Man.

And let's not forget Zak Penn! Last Action Hero, X-Men 2, The Incredible Hulk, The Avengers, Incident at Loch Ness, and Atari: Game Over.

Jeff Pinkner, too...who was an executive producer for "Alias" and producer/writer for "Lost," as well as being one of the co-writers for, yes, The Amazing Spiderman 2.

Plus Andrew Barrer and Gabriel Ferrari, who haven't done too much major work of note yet but recently handled rewrites for Ant-Man together.

And we've also got Geneva Robertson-Dworet, Christina Hodson, and Lindsey Beer. Which is interesting insofar as the three are all women who've been hired on as writers for a franchise often criticized for its female roles. Furthermore, one of them had a script featured on "The Black List," so that's awesome.

Oh, and did I forget to mention Steven DeKnight? Yeah, he was the head writer, executive producer, and creator of all five "Spartacus" shows.

And maybe you've heard of that little recent success called "Daredevil" on NetFlix? Yeah, he's the showrunner for that.

I'm just sayin'!

Goddamn, that is one HELL of an interesting team they've assembled to build up the Transformers Cinematic Universe, amirite?!?

O_O

[sentient02970]

I finally watched this with my daughter the other day. Honestly, yes, it was probably the cheesiest Michael Bay project I've ever watched but I won't deny I had fun watching it. For all the cheese, I had fun pointing out to my daughter many of the "Bay tokens" in the film such as:

- obsession over low angle shots capturing actors exiting cars
- background explosions in slow motion
- shameless product placement
- awkward scenes just to insert a humorous line
- 'merican flag moments
- long speeches accompanied by theme music

Again, though, great use of CGI effects and it felt like watching the best cartoon ever. We had a blast.

[Hazekiah]

Glad to hear you both enjoyed it!

I tend to give Bay a free pass on a lot of that stuff, though.

For instance, most of his films are scheduled for 4th of July release dates, so obviously he's gonna have a bunch of flags everywhere. Same goes for his signature Baysplosions! It was actually really cool watching Decepticons destroy Chicago at the Navy Pier IMAX and then literally seeing it onscreen while hearing the REAL explosions outside during their holiday fireworks display. Very meta and immersive, lol.

Same goes for the product placement. We live in a world full of it anyway so it helps ground the movies in reality, plus it's difficult to give them a hard time about it when it just helps pay for the BADASS cgi robots, y'know?

[Hazekiah]

I've been on the road since the anniversary of this film's release (not to mention most of the past year!), so it's been tricky to find the time to get down to the business of writing out and posting a bunch of the neat stuff I've found in this movie...but I've finally gotten started with some of the smaller bits I've been meaning to share, at least! There's a LOT more in the works which I'll hopefully get back to soon, but till then I've just been chipping away at some of the simpler points until I can sit down and REALLY bang out the more interesting and involved essays I'm writing. This wasn't really one of those laborious, intense pieces, just more of a tossed-off observation, but in the meantime I figured I'd go ahead and leave it here anyway.

Enjoy!


ENGLISH WORDS
HIDDEN IN
CYBERTRONIAN DIALOGUE


You know what I'm talking about.

Like when you can hear the Transformers speaking among themselves, often without subtitles, and you catch words like "Witwicky" in the mishmash of seemingly unfamiliar linguistics. And, sure, that's a proper noun...so of course it sounds roughly the same, even across intergalactic language barriers.

But what about when Frenzy turns and looks directly at the audience and says things like, "Megatron Melting!" and "Oh, Shit"...?

Who is he speaking to there, I ask?

That's right: THE AUDIENCE.

The movies have on MANY occasions deliberately buried English words beneath seemingly Cybertronian dialogue to let us in on what they're saying, even if we don't necessarily recognize it consciously at the time.

For instance, Frenzy said LOTS of stuff, but the filmmakers made sure we knew he said "Megatron Melting!" and "Oh, Shit," because that's all we needed to know he was saying.

Another great example is Shockwave in Transformers: Dark of the Moon, when he says, "Driller-bot is thirsty." Of course, no one knew wtf he was saying at the theater, but then the movie got its home release and the filmmakers LITERALLY spelled it out for us with the subtitles. And with the benefit of hindsight it was (relatively) clear as day! Sadly, it's a rare example of the Cybertronian dialogue actually being decoded for us...but still.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11541684_10152965019196918_2108197797_o_zpssdxlzai q.jpg


And, strangely, the Driller was never referred to as "Driller-bot" anywhere else, presumably indicating that the dialogue was recorded from an earlier version of the script. But that IS clearly what is said, and it is OBVIOUS to whom it refers. Just like the scene where Shockwave summons the Driller but calls it by the name, "Collossus," as per the creature's original designation earlier in the production art phase.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/DOTM%20Concept%20Art%20-%20Colossus_zpspt4fjf4e.jpg


Sure, those don't serve as the GREATEST examples since they were either clear-as-day (Frenzy) or went completely over the audience's head in the absence of subtitled assistance (Shockwave), yet they nonetheless demonstrate intent. Namely, the intent of the filmmakers to give us a foothold as to exactly what these aliens are talking about even when we're not necessarily supposed to fully understand it.

And then there's another bit of Cybertronian-but-English dialogue I hear all the time but don't really see mentioned much. When the last two Dreads are caught in the "Mexican Stand-Off" with Ironhide and Sideswipe, they seem to have a little discussion about how exactly to deal with it...


"GIVE UP?"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Crowbar_zps9gonxwud.jpg~original

"CAN'T GO HOME!"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/transformers-3-crankcase_zpsqwzyfijg.jpg~original


Which makes sense well enough for the scene, actually.

Yeah, Cybertron's not completely destroyed yet so they could technically still go there, but since they hadn't yet completed their mission to join up with Sentinel and return with the Pillars and bring Cybertron right next door for repairs...why would they bother?

Not to mention the fact that Megatron's got a BIT of a temper and tends to be pretty rough on the help. I sure know I wouldn't want to report back to him empty-handed after surrendering! Something tells me they were better off taking their chances with Ironhide and Sideswipe, lol.

But those are all fairly well-known cases.

Moving on to the most recent film, Transformers: Age of Extinction, I believe there are at least two interesting examples which don't seem to get much recognition.

Firstly, as Stinger is seen transforming and then shooting the hijacked section of the Knightship just as the Seed is about to be brought aboard, he can clearly be heard speaking Cybertronian, and I'd say this is another case of a Decepticon speaking Cybertronian-but-really-English for the sake of the audience. I don't know what YOU make of it, but I'm pretty damned sure what I hear him say while he's blasting the ship, lol...


"PIECE OF SHIT!!!"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11653924_10152965021886918_1493171022_o_zpsahtr5kh c.jpg


Haha! Seriously, go check it out.

It's pretty clear!

XD

Then, soon afterward, one of the "Two-Head" KSI-bots modeled after Shockwave sees the Knightship preparing to flee the battle as Optimus is about to detonate Lockdown's Seed-grenade, then seems to instruct his fellow soldiers to flee also as he points towards it...


"LEAVE SOON!!!"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11660155_10152965021031918_1924778683_o_zpsumpxhht y.jpg


NEAT STUFF!!!

Just thought I'd share.

:)

[Hazekiah]

Annnd, speaking of WORDS in these movies...

Pretty much ALL of us grew up with Transformers, so there's no real shame in admitting you've learned a word or two through your exposure to the franchise, right?

Personally, I've always thought it was CRAZY-AWESOME that my favorite comic book/cartoon/toyline/movie taught me SO MANY interesting words.

When Marvel's Transformers #1 debuted back in the day, I was something like 5 or 6 years old but my dad was in the Army Corps. of Engineers so after I absolutely begged him to buy me the book he made damned sure I knew what a "transformer" really was, lol. But, until Ron Witwicky made a crack about it decades later, it really had no bearing on the franchise, so w/e.

Still, I was CERTAINLY the only kid in my age range I was aware of who knew wtf it actually meant. On a similar note, we were stationed in Germany at the time, so I knew what "gestalt" meant WAY before any of my Transformers pals, lol.

Man, I have so many other examples to list!

But, most recently, Transformers: Age of Extinction taught me not just one but TWO interesting words.

Firstly...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/11428989_10152953439571918_1296344546_n_zpsyhdm5w0 l.jpg~original


So, yeah.

I'll go ahead and admit it.

Since Lockdown was dragging Optimus to what appeared to be his DEATH for a minute there, context clues led me to erroneously conclude that he'd actually said "terminus," rather than "temenos."

As luck would have it, however, I just so happened to be a member of a TF message board which helped sort that misunderstanding out right away within a few days of the movie's release, w00t.

Anyway, back to the point:

TEMENOS


Temenos (Greek: τέμενος; plural: τεμένη, temene) is a piece of land cut off and assigned as an official domain, especially to kings and chiefs, or a piece of land marked off from common uses and dedicated to a god, a sanctuary, holy grove or holy precinct: The Pythian race-course is called a temenos, the sacred valley of the Nile is the Νείλοιο πῖον τέμενος Κρονίδα ("the rich temenos of Cronides by the Nile"), the Acropolis of Athens is the ἱερὸν τέμενος ("the holy temenos"; of Pallas). The word derives from the Greek verb τέμνω (temnō), "to cut". The earliest attested form of the word is the Mycenaean Greek, te-me-no, written in Linear B syllabic script.

The concept of temenos arose in classical Mediterranean cultures as an area reserved for worship of the gods. Some authors have used the term to apply to a sacred grove of trees, isolated from everyday living spaces, while other usage points to areas within ancient urban development that are parts of sanctuaries.
A large example of a Bronze Age Minoan temenos is at the Juktas Sanctuary of the palace of Knossos on ancient Crete in present day Greece, the temple having a massive northern temenos. Another example is at Olympia, the temenos of Zeus. There were many temene of Apollo, as he was the patron god of settlers.
In religious discourse in English, temenos has also come to refer to a territory, plane, receptacle or field of deity or divinity.

C. G. Jung relates the temenos to the spellbinding or magic circle, which acts as a 'square space' or 'safe spot' where mental 'work' can take place. This temenos resembles among others a 'symmetrical rose garden with a fountain in the middle' (the 'squared circle') in which an encounter with the unconscious can be had and where these unconscious contents can safely be brought into the light of consciousness. In this manner one can meet one's own Shadow, Animus/Anima, Wise Old Wo/Man (Senex) and finally the Self, names that Jung gave to archetypal personifications of (unpersonal) unconscious contents which seem to span all cultures.


Pretty interesting!

Plus, it very neatly ties into and reinforces the whole "knighthood" theme of the movie, of course.

AWESOMENESS.

Then there's the SECOND word that movie taught me...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/IMAG0798_1_zpsuegxvnej.jpg~original


Granted, it's a non-English word so I can forgive myself for not knowing it beforehand, right?

Plus, Joshua Joyce himself pretty much provides the definition anyway, but just for the record:


FARRAGO


From Latin farrāgo (“mixed fodder; mixture, hodgepodge”), from far (“spelt (a kind of wheat), coarse meal, grits”).

A collection containing a confused variety of miscellaneous things.

Synonyms (confused miscellany): hodgepodge, hotchpotch, melange, mingle-mangle, mishmash, oddments, odds and ends, omnium-gatherum, ragbag

Huzzah!

Not so straightforward as he made it seem, right?

Things like THIS make me glad I look stuff up, lol.

Personally, I think it's really interesting that the inventor of sentient/then-nonsentient robots who did/then-didn't have free will and were/then-weren't under his control AND which LIKEWISE happened to be "a confused variety of miscellaneous things" themselves (insofar as they were TRANSFORMERS, on top of everything else) chose precisely THAT word when defining EXACTLY the mistake his company had made with them.

I mean...damn.

Those are some pretty interesting words to learn from a Transformers movie, eh?

Again, I just thought I'd share!

:)

[Hazekiah]

So...does anyone else here watch movies with the "Descriptive Audio Track" enabled?

The last two TF movies offered these and I've actually found them to be pretty interesting. Great for playing in the background when you can't really devote the time to actually WATCHING a movie, too!

Seriously, though, I love-love-love these things. Kinda takes me back to my childhood and reminds me of listening to my old 7" vinyl, narrated adaptations of movies and cartoon shows that came with picture books where you could SEE the pictures! HEAR the story! READ the book! Turn the movie's subtitles on too and you're good to go, lol.

But I mostly just get a kick out of catching all the little details and the frequent mistakes they make, lol.

For instance, listening to the descriptive audio track for TF:DotM was pretty much the first time ANYONE actually realized Carly was wearing a white baseball cap as she ascended the staircase in her underwear while Michael Bay was practically giving her a proctological exam with a 3D camera, lololamirite?

And then we have the goofs, too.

The narrator clearly has NO IDEA wtf is going on when he describes Galvatron as taking "his Autobot form" as he transforms to fight Optimus on the highway, lolwtf.

And, interestingly, the same narrator later describes the Seed as "a large metallic DNA pod."

o_O

Now, obviously, this guy doesn't always know what's what...but since the Seed converts organics into Transformium, which Joshua Joyce mapped the Transformers genome with, I'll give them that one!

Plus, the handful of errors in the descriptive audio track for TF:AoE are NOTHING compared to all the errors in that of TF:DotM.

For instance, when Ironhide taps Optimus and tells him to "Make something of yourself!" for their meeting with Mearing, Ironhide is incorrectly identified as Dino.

They keep saying "Wheels" instead of Wheelie (his original name in the scripts, I know).

They call the Matrix the "Matrix of Power" instead of the "Matrix of Leadership."

The ship is called the Xantium instead of the Xanthium (yes, its original name, I know).

At one point, the narrator slips up and says "Dye-No" instead of "Dee-No," lol.

The CD player device (or w/e) which turns into Laserbeak at Dylan's penthouse as Sam holds him at gunpoint is instead described as being "wall art."

Epps' pal is referred to as "Hardcore" Eddie despite never being identified as such elsewhere in the film (yes, his name in the script, I know).

Soundwave is mistakenly identified as having shot Que both times when he's killed despite not even having shot him once let alone twice.

When Ratchet approaches the military troops and orders them to "Mortar that bridge!" he's misidentified as being a Wrecker.

Maaaaan.

There are a LOT more but I was cleaning the house and didn't get to write all of them down.

Anyway, it's still a pretty cool feature and an interesting way to experience a movie. I even caught a descriptive audio screening at a movie theater once by accident when they'd scheduled an early afternoon matinee screening for groups of visually impaired people who'd been driven there and I stuck around and watched the whole thing anyway just because I thought it was so cool.

So, like I said...is anyone else here into these things?

[Hazekiah]

So I wrote this pretty involved essay about how brilliantly the theme of knighthood is incorporated into TF:AoE.

Thought maybe a few of you might be interested!



EXPOSING
THE KNIGHTHOOD THEME IN TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION



It's been almost AN ENTIRE YEAR since Transformers: Age of Extinction hit theaters and I have yet to see a FULL exploration of this movie's KNIGHTHOOD THEME and how thoroughly and ingeniously it's embedded within the film.

In honor of tomorrow's anniversary of the movie's release, I've begun ramping up my efforts to finally get started with the MANY detailed threads I've been planning to share this past year. I've had to rush to get this out on time so it's still going to be an ever-expanding work-in-progress for awhile, but HEY it's off to a good start, at least. So bear with me, plz!

Literally every single time I watch this film I can't help but catch SO many subtly interwoven thematic elements the whole way through and think to myself, "WTF IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE???"


WHY ARE WE NOT
TALKING ABOUT THIS?!?
o_O


And now here's a thread SPECIFICALLY for that!

HUZZAH!!!

\o/

So here we go, HAIL TO THE KING and all that.

First and foremost, obviously, is Optimus Prime's upgrade...


OPTIMUS KNIGHT
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/121022_OptimusKnight_JN_V006_zpsdj5tmxrc.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/300px-Transformers-_Age_of_ExtinctionOptimusPrimePoster_zpsx7h3r7bq.j pg~original


Of course, his newly-revealed status as a Knight would have been even more clear if the filmmakers had followed through more fully with the "Silver Knight" concept art for Optimus Prime's "Knight Upgrade," but almost ALL of the same knight's armor design elements are still quite apparent in the film. After all, he has his sword, his neck-guards, his skirting, etc. He even gets gauntlets and a shield eventually!

Which raises the question of HOW exactly he got that sword, the gauntlets, and the shield, doesn't it...???


HE PULLED A
SWORD FROM A STONE
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Transformers_4_Recognize_one_of_your_Knights_zpskd yymwqh.gif~original
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/sword-in-the-stone-o_zpstplnpprl.gif


That's right, Optimus Prime basically reenacted the Arthurian myth of the Sword in the Stone!

And what did he do next?

Oh, yeah...


HE FOUGHT A
FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Transformers-4-Age-of-Extinction-Grimlock-Fire-Breath-header_zpsr75qtjaw.jpg~original


But, naturally, any self-respecting knight needs his stallion and the glory of combat.

So what was Prime's NEXT order of business after taming the dragon?


CHARGING INTO BATTLE
ON HIS VALIANT STEED
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Screen-Shot-2014-02-03-at-00.31.15_zps7xcjp857.png


And that same "dragon/steed" is, obviously, based on the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The Latin for "Rex," of course, LITERALLY translating into "KING."

I mean...I'm just sayin'!

But I digress.

Speaking of the Dinobots, the film sees them reconceptualized instead as "legendary warriors" and, presumably, Optimus Prime's fellow Knights, a notion reflected in both their character designs AND weaponry. We see them with helmets, faceplates, spiked boots, maces, flails, etc., all of distinctly medieval, "knightly" oIrigin.

For instance...


A DINOBOT
IN KNIGHT'S ARMOR
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/TF4ConceptArtBurt_zps2ausgfzs.jpg~original


Speaking of which...

THE KNIGHTSHIP
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/4372179-knightterminus1_zpsvlwxrbtc.jpg
IS A CROWN
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Meridies_MaxCrown_zpss3orquc1.jpg


Also, as Lockdown told Optimus, The Knightship was "built for all you knights, you great crusaders," alluding to not only the fact that Lockdown's ship (traditionally his own, personal "Nightship") was actually instead built for the Knights before being commandeered by him, but also establishing that it was SPECIFICALLY built for their "crusades," a reference to the medieval expeditions and campaigns waged by Knights.

For instance...

CRUSADING KNIGHTS
IN THEIR SHIPS
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Ships-1_zpsvvmysull.jpg

[Hazekiah]

And, perhaps MOST interestingly, Lockdown mockingly welcomes a captive Optimus back to a VERY SPECIAL part of the Knightship...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11733914_10152992366936918_1540520587_o_zpsqxeqjuk j.jpg


Easily the most obscure reference the film makes to the age of chivalry is its use of the word "TEMENOS," which, as mentioned in another (http://http//www.tfw2005.com/boards/transformers-general-discussion/1044733-what-words-did-you-learn-transformers.html) thread, is an ancient term for what's essentially a temple or sanctuary, often meant for communing with divinity.

In fact, the temenos of the Knightship seems to be where Optimus pulls the sword from the "stone" and beseeches an unseen force to "Recognize one of your knights," before being awarded his further Knight-upgrades and weaponry in response.

Interestingly, a similar dynamic is afoot with regards to Cade's own adventures. He uses a VERY SUSPICIOUS choice of words to describe his rural Texan research lab/barn...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11725352_10152992942096918_1639574943_o_zpsrjoylvg o.jpg


In other words, it's a TEMENOS!

XD

Furthermore, it's ALSO the first of TWO temenos sites to which Optimus is dragged against his will, (not to mention repaired and/or upgraded) which serves as a "prime example," if you will, of the MANY recurring motifs echoing throughout the film.

Reiterating and cleverly solidifying the film's motif of temenos sites, Cade even says a kind of prayer while he's in his makeshift lab/barn/temenos, much like Optimus himself does in his own Knightship's temenos later. After Cade extinguishes a fire in his lab, he rather poignantly exclaims as he approaches Optimus, "God! Something in here has to make this family some money. Come on, you old wreck. Judgment day."

It's subtle and understated...but it's definitely a prayer inside a temenos!

And, as if that prayer were answered, Cade soon discovers that the truck is in fact a Transformer, from which, one way or another, he intends to reap financial gains. Then, in the process, he revives Optimus and repairs his "spark," which Cade explains humans call a "soul."

Keeping in mind that the fire within the barn/lab/temenos was sparked immediately following Cade's little moment to himself where he sees a shooting star and communes with his dearly departed one true love, and that the film ends with Optimus telling Cade to look to the stars and think of one of them as his "soul" while he's away, it's clearly not only another tidy little motif at work here but also yet another example of the Knighthood theme at work in the film.

Now, I don't want to get into the religious connotations here too much in deference to the forum's rules about such things (goofy though they may be when the movie itself raises the issue), so I'll just leave it at that and point out that I'm simply carefully explaining the film's symbolism in its own language here, with as much neutrality as possible, and that the symbolism in question does indeed connect DIRECTLY to the theme of KNIGHTS and their general worldview.

After all, medieval knights were VERY MUCH concerned with such matters. Souls, honor, love and all that. I'm sure you get the point.
But back to the Knightship for a moment, when Cade almost literally stumbles into its armory, what does he find there?



OH, HEY, IT'S A
ROUNDTABLE!!!


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Transformers_Age_of_Extinction_Concept_Art_SJ_M0_z psclvmtrys.jpg~original


ANOTHER REFERENCE
TO ARTHURIAN LEGEND

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/King-Arthurs-roundtable1_zpsat4z5jlb.jpg


And, speaking of Arthurian legend, when we're introduced to K.S.I.'s own robot lab and "temple of technology," where Joshua Joyce has cracked the code of the Transformium genome, they use a VERY intriguing term to refer to it...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11539702_10152992943261918_1852564364_o_zpscdssh3w e.jpg
TWICE
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11725047_10152992367646918_11481060_o_zps9tneb5a9. jpg


Yes, the Holy Grail, the prize of Arthurian legend!

Additionally, he later refers to that "Holy Grail" as his company's "Salvation," not to mention calling his ex-girlfriend Darcy "Princess"...albeit sarcastically, lol.
And then there's the matter of the movie's OTHER "princess"...Cade's daughter, Tessa.


SPECIFICALLY,
HER CHASTITY
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/maxresdefault%201_zpswotxdzks.jpg


I've got a whole separate thread planned around that and, again, the board's rules make it a little tricky to discuss...but I'd say it's already MORE THAN CLEAR that a good bit of this movie dwells upon Cade's overbearing protectiveness of his daughter's chastity, which was similarly of great concern to knights in medieval times and, ultimately, plays directly into the theme of knighthood which everyone is hopefully beginning to see is TRULY pervasive throughout this film.

But MORE on that LATER!

;)

In the meantime, I think I've pretty much made my point here, lol.

[Hazekiah]

Just to be thorough, however...

Right off the bat, there's a particularly sly, subtle little allusion the the medieval theme which cleverly foreshadows the later revelation of Optimus Prime's Knighthood.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11713167_10152992366576918_1048296200_o_zpsy0jmddl l.jpg


And let's not forget the deck of "kill cards" Attinger uses to keep track of the Transformers he's hunting! Yep, it features an assortment of medieval symbolism itself...


JACKS, QUEENS,
KINGS, AND JOKERS

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11733783_10152995241416918_652521415_o_zpsgzgtxxhq .jpg


On a similar note, there's the curious phrase Lockdown uses shortly after referencing Prime's knighthood...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11731436_10152995241576918_900690300_o_zpsrz7yasns .jpg


This AGAIN refers to a game positively STEEPED in medieval symbolism; kings, queens, bishops, pawns, rooks, castles.


OH, AND YEAH...
KNIGHTS
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Knight-chess_zpsvv7siluy.jpg


One tiny bit that was REALLY difficult to finally catch however was THIS little detail. The ring that Savoy wears on his finger for his Cemetery Wind black ops missions (and likely in honor of his ill-fated sister as well) is a skull inscribed with the words "Memento Mori," meaning roughly, "Remember Death," or "Remember that you have to die," an ancient Latin phrase greatly in vogue during medieval times and a concept adopted by numerous orders of knights verbatim.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11706007_10152971268201918_165310605_o_zpswbwgv2f9 .jpg


And, perhaps the masterstroke here, we also have the movie's soundtrack, by a band which is actually called Imagine DRAGONS.

But, furthermore, the song they contributed to the movie which is MOST FREQUENTLY interwoven throughout the score is THIS track...


THE KING IS CROWNED
IT'S DO OR DIE




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZtMHSOq50Q



I absolutely LOVE how all these thematic elements relevant to knighthood are SO exceedingly entwined within every bit of the film, perhaps all the more because of how completely so much of it seems to have gone RIGHT over everyone's heads! A lot of it really IS pretty clever, interesting, and incredibly subtle...particularly considering how BLATANTLY the theme is presented elsewhere.

Man, I love it and it really IS quite a feat!

Personally, I think it's pretty cool stuff, too...most of which I've never seen mentioned anywhere.

Especially keeping in mind what short shrift this movie often gets from critics, it seems increasingly important to bring these elements to light and to help raise the general audience's awareness that, indeed, there certainly IS a great deal more going on with this movie and its symbolism than is generally acknowledged.

And what a shame that is!

I honestly find the multifaceted applications of the motifs to be utterly fascinating filmmaking.

I hope that YOU had some fun and found all this to be informative and interesting, too!

:)

Oh, and one last AWESOME reference to Knighthood!



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/11543102_10152968193341918_665568678_o_zps6ng44scf .jpg~original

[emptydesk]

I'm largely surprised that anyone can manage to watch these movies let alone project or derive any sort of meaning from them.

Have you considered maybe using some of the time you spend on this junk food and maybe watch something more culturally or artistically valid? Just throw on CHINATOWN or DOG DAY AFTERNOON or something, I beg you.

[Hazekiah]

While I actually happen to own and love BOTH of those movies, I also think it's incredibly short-sighted and dismissive of you to consider them "more culturally and artistically valid" than, say, the Transformers films. As I've pointed out at length, there's quite a bit more to these movies than people give them credit for...they're not only QUITE entertaining but there is likewise PLENTY of meaning to be derived from them, no "projection" necessary!

But anyway, I've got a lot to say about various other films which you'd probably consider more highbrow, so fear not. I've just been travelling a LOT these last few years so it's been tricky to find the time to write everything out on an actual computer, sadly. I still take notes during most movies I watch and have several more detailed essays in the works. Hell, I just finished watching the restored, nearly 4-hour version of Lawrence of Arabia the other day! I just happen to enjoy the Transformers movies the most so I've gotten around to most of my Transformers essays first. One of which my Lawrence of Arabia viewing was actually research for, lol. All in good time!

Perhaps you'd enjoy my recent post about the LITERAL toilet humor in Lincoln (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/threads/1155-Lincoln?p=268875#post268875) in the meantime?

I think you'll find that even so-called "high art" has its "low art" elements, and hopefully my Transformers essays will begin to show you that the flipside can also be true.

:)

[Jinsai]

While I actually happen to own and love BOTH of those movies, I also think it's incredibly short-sighted and dismissive of you to consider them "more culturally and artistically valid" than, say, the Transformers films.

We could argue about cultural relevancy (which is a discussion that would put a great work of art on the same level of relative appreciation as any popular phenomenon like Honey Boo Boo or Pauly Shore), but no... Chinatown is more "artistically valid" than anything Michael Bay has ever been involved in. It's not dismissive to insist that's the case, and Michael Bay would probably (hopefully?) agree.

[hellospaceboy]

Even movies that are only meant to be popcorn entertainment can reflect their times, often better that "high art" movies. Sometimes these "mindless" blockbusters say quite a lot about the zeitgeist.

I love it when people take pop culture seriously, so I really appreciated the break down of the knight theme in this movie.
Keep up the good work!

[Archive_Reports]

This movie is marketed to people who grew up with the Transformers and kids. Could they be better? Yes. That said, I would never expect them to be anything more than they are.

[ManBurning]

Transformers 5 and A new Animated film confirmed:

http://www.comingsoon.net/movies/news/614043-transformers-5#/slide/1

I'll give the Animated film a try, but I think I'm 100% officially done with live action TF movies after that last one... I know, I shouldn't have even given these films THAT many trys, but I really had some hope for them deep down inside. I enjoyed the first one a lot. But then they just got worse and worse. The 4th one was the final nail in the coffin.

[Shadaloo]

That seems to be an animated origin story for the movie TFs, not a film related to the Animated series cartoon (which is what I'd say is something really geared for the people who grew up with the original series). Got hopeful for a second there. :(

On the topic of which, it was exactly thirty-one years ago today the original animated series debuted. :)

[ManBurning]

On the topic of which, it was exactly thirty-one years ago today the original animated series debuted. :)

Hold that film pretty close to my heart. Friend down the street who was a couple years older than me introduced me to the Transformers when we were kids (I was 1 when the film came out). I would probably include it in a "best of movies of all time" list of mine. That fight between Optimum and Megatron was always my favourite part of the film. I, probably like every other kid in the world, was shocked and appalled when they killed off Optimum Prime within the first half hour of the film. The writers had a lot of balls doing something like that, I'll tell ya that much. It worked though, great story telling. Always hated Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime as a kid though. Found him to just be to arrogant. I found Ultra Magnus to fit the leadership role better, even though he wasn't meant to open the Matrix, lol.

Nothing beats how awesome Unicron was. I always wanted a Unicron toy as a kid, but they never had one in the original 80's line for reasons I'll never know. That toy would have sold like hot cakes. I know they came out with the one many years later (around 2008-2010?), but was too old to care anymore.

[Shadaloo]

They tried for a prototype way back but were....not satisfied with the results:

https://tilallaremine.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/unicron-prototype.jpg

He indeed got a figure in about 2006 or so with the Armada toyline, which, in 2012, got remolded back into something approximating his G1 self. :)

http://images.amazon.com/images/G/01/toys/detail-page/c26-B004ZKT4KI-1-l.jpg

[ManBurning]

Wow, I don't blame them for not releasing that Unicron prototype in the 80's. Looks like a complete abomination!

[Hazekiah]

^ Yeah, that thing was definitely garbage.

I actually had a pal in my 3rd Grade class back in '87 who claimed he had a Galvatron toy and we were always BEGGING to see it. Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed to have people over and wouldn't bring it to school, so we all kinda called bullshit on him amongst ourselves and just let it go. But years later I heard about the prototype molds of that horrible toy up there and wondered if he hadn't gotten his hands on one somehow.

His family WAS kinda rich and lived in a pretty mansion-esque house, after all...so it's not outside the realm of possibility.

Stranger things have happened!

Regardless, once I finally saw the damned thing all former, hypothetical envy IMMEDIATELY flew out the door, lol.



We could argue about cultural relevancy (which is a discussion that would put a great work of art on the same level of relative appreciation as any popular phenomenon like Honey Boo Boo or Pauly Shore), but no... Chinatown is more "artistically valid" than anything Michael Bay has ever been involved in. It's not dismissive to insist that's the case, and Michael Bay would probably (hopefully?) agree.

And if he would I'd disagree heartily with HIM, as well.

Chinatown isn't more "artistically valid" than "anything Michael Bay has ever been involved in." It's simply found itself winning the popularity contest of critical acclaim more than Bay's films have in general. Both Chinatown and, say, the Transformers films are EXQUISITELY crafted representations of EXACTLY the type of entertainment they sought to become. Plenty of merit and "artistic validity" to found in each. In either case, serious, career artists at the tops of their fields worked tirelessly to achieve their vision and convey their messages while telling their stories. Polanski came out on top with critics and Bay's come out of top with the profits.

Neither of them is any more or less an artist than the other.

Nor are the films of either any more or less "artistically valid" than the other.


Even movies that are only meant to be popcorn entertainment can reflect their times, often better that "high art" movies. Sometimes these "mindless" blockbusters say quite a lot about the zeitgeist.

I love it when people take pop culture seriously, so I really appreciated the break down of the knight theme in this movie.
Keep up the good work!

Also, THIS.

And thanks for the kind words!

I've got PLENTY more en route, I assure you. Scroll on down to the bottom of this post, for starters!

:)


This movie is marketed to people who grew up with the Transformers and kids. Could they be better? Yes. That said, I would never expect them to be anything more than they are.

And THAT'S the beauty of the Transformers films!

Sure, like any film, each has its issues and room for improvement.

But, as I sincerely hope my essays have begun to prove, there actually IS more to these films than meets the eye.


That seems to be an animated origin story for the movie TFs, not a film related to the Animated series cartoon (which is what I'd say is something really geared for the people who grew up with the original series). Got hopeful for a second there. :(

On the topic of which, it was exactly thirty-one years ago today the original animated series debuted. :)


Hold that film pretty close to my heart.

Well, he was talking about the anniversary of the first episode of the TV series ("More than Meets the Eye Pt. 1," not the animated movie.

I'd argue that any viewpoint which holds the '86 movie in higher regard than the live action films is SEVERELY distorted through the filter of nostalgia goggles, though.

But, yes, "Transformers: Animated" is long dead. The new animated film will serve as a prequel to the live action series. Can't wait to see it! Likewise, several more live action Transformers sequels and spin-offs are confirmed by the CEO of Hasbro himself, who's committed to continuing the series for at least another decade from now.

Exciting times!

XD

But, back on the subject of the original TV show's anniversary for a moment...

So cool to see I wasn't the only one celebrating that day!

Here's a little thread I made in honor of it.




I'm just gonna bang out another quick little thread about the brilliance of the writing for Transformers: Age of Extinction today, mostly because I've been traveling for AGES and still can't get started just yet on the really in depth stuff I've been planning to write about it since its premiere over a year ago. Honestly, I've just been too busy traveling the whole time since then and right now is no exception. I was actually thinking I'd finally get around to those threads relatively soon but then I just found out I'll be postponing my return home by at least another month to do some work for a pal (on a totally legal pot farm, w00t!), so I figured I should at least chip away at all this a bit while I can.

Plus, today happens to be the 31st anniversary of the debut of the cartoon that helped start it all!

In celebration of the occasion, I actually watched the introductory "More than Meets the Eye" trilogy of episodes which laid the groundwork for the show since I finally bought the complete DVD collection of the entire series a few weeks ago while in the midst of my seemingly endless roadtrip. Then it occurred to me that although the primary purpose of my roadtrip was to chase Marilyn Manson concerts (176 and counting, w00t!), it kind of, well...transformed into something of a TRANSFORMERS roadtrip, too!

After Manson's Vegas show I headed to Phoenix and on the way there I stopped by the Hoover Dam, finally making the pilgrimage to where Optimus Prime and Megatron first waged battle on Earth so many decades ago! Yeah, sure, it was technically "Sherman Dam" in the show, but it was obviously Hoover Dam, just like Mt. St. Hillary in the comics was obviously Mt. St. Helens. Plus, they fought atop "Boulder Dam" in the comics...which was the original name for Hoover Dam! So, needless to say, I was pretty excited about that, lol. Then it just so happened that along the way to the show at Red Rocks we actually passed through Monument Valley AND the Hole 'N the Rock gift shop! Like I said, I was pretty thrilled! Anyway, I didn't get to take many pix but here's a moment of glory a pal snapped for me, at least...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG1017_1_zpscwzdmuu0.jpg

But I digress!

Anyway, the point is I've been roadtripping my ass off lately -- I'm currently visiting my girlfriend in New Hampshire and about to leave for Washington state, for instance -- so I haven't been able to keep up with all the threads I've been planning to post here lately...but I've CERTAINLY been keeping Transformers on my mind all the while! And I've also been trying to catch up on all the movies I missed while I was on the road since my gf has an HDTV and Netflix and lives near a Redbox, so knowing that TF:AoE won't be available on Netflix much longer, I also decided to watch THAT in observance of today's anniversary, lol.

Which brings me to my point.

FINALLY!

This thread's extended preface notwithstanding, I'm actually pretty short on time and resources and can't really post as extensively as I'd like, so I hope you'll forgive me for leaning heavily on some subtitled Netflix screenpix from TF:AoE to make my point here somewhat more succinctly.

And the point I'm making here, as I generally am, is that the Transformers films are FAR better written than is commonly acknowledged. Every time I watch these movies the genius of their craftsmanship practically leaps off the screen at me and I can't help but share their cleverness and fight the good fight to see them at long last granted the recognition they deserve.

Today's lesson?


THE MEANING
OF LOCKDOWN


Yeah, we ALL know who the character is by now.

But I think it's mistakenly taken for granted that everyone knows what his name means.

Unless you happen to watch tons of law enforcement television (dramas, procedurals, reality shows, etc.), it's unlikely you've ever REALLY encountered the TRUE meaning of the term "lockdown" in your daily life, with the exception of anyone who's unfortunately found themselves on the wrong side of the law, of course. Either way, neither case would exactly place you squarely in the target audience of the Transformers franchise, so I think it deserves an explanation.

And that's where the subtle genius of the movie's writing comes in!

The movie itself goes out of its way to casually, repeatedly hammer home the point of exactly what Lockdown's name implies, without ever even really seeming to do so. Once again, as in so many other cases, the movie is working its audience on an almost subliminal level.

The first time we hear a reference to the meaning behind Lockdown's name (apart from Ratchet's dying words, that is) occurs within scene where Lockdown's human accomplice Attinger is told they've successful tracked their prey, thereby establishing the element of ensnarement inherent in his name...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG1407_zpsrbs89kdh.jpg

Which is soon afterward echoed by agents of Cemetery Wind as they begin to zero in on their prey and secure the premises...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/2015-09/IMAG1391_zpsxw3blqtj.jpg

And again at K.S.I.'s Chicago headquarters once they've discovered the breach in their security and once more begin to ensnare Cade...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/2015-09/IMAG1393_zps5djqepld.jpg

In fact, even the wording of the A.T.M. display notifying a fugitive Cade of his finances having been frozen by the C.I.A. while he's on the run from the authorities furthers this concept...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/2015-09/IMAG1392_zpsvrxv5som.jpg

All of which establishes for even the most casual and unknowing audience members the context and definition of Lockdown's name and indeed his very function within the plot, regardless of whether or not they've ever before come across the term. Specifically, it's definition relating to incarceration:


LOCKDOWN
the confining of prisoners to their cells, typically after an escape or to regain control during a riot.

Which, naturally, is EXACTLY what Lockdown is there to do, as he himself explains to a captive Optimus held prisoner aboard his Knightship...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG1398_zpshngu22av.jpg

A concept reinforced by Hound's likewise jargon-laden and potentially confounding choice of words in describing the cellblock from which he frees Optimus...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/IMAG1405_zpscznacr1r.jpg


SUPERMAX

denoting or relating to an extremely high-security prison or part of a prison, intended for particularly dangerous prisoners.

Anyway, it's just a little observation I can't help but make every time I watch the film. Just wanted to share!

TL;DR

I believe the film uses variations of the term "lockdown" FAR too many times to simply be handwaved aside as coincidence. In fact, I believe the excessive repetition is deliberately meant to directly supply the audience with context clues to understand exactly why exactly Lockdown IS Lockdown.

Just another example of the discreetly brilliant writing technique and craftsmanship on display in the movies!

:)

[Jinsai]

Just another example of the discreetly brilliant writing technique and craftsmanship on display in the movies!

:)

http://www.giantfreakinrobot.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/transformers-revenge-of-the-fallen-devastators-balls.jpg

[Khrz]

As much as I laud and respect your endless hyper enthusiasm Hazekiah, nothing you can say can convince me that Transformers isn't a garbled mess from the get go.

And as a general rule, it doesn't matter how much care, how much effort and craftsmanship you've deployed to create something, if you end up with a mess then a mess it is (I'm looking at you, Prometheus).

And it isn't a high brow approach either : I've enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy, I've even enjoyed Pacific Rim ffs... I'm more than ready to switch my brains off for the sheer pleasure of a good ride. But Transformers is just unwatchable and unenjoyable. It's a mess. The script's a mess, the action's a mess, the designs are messy, and the characters... Well, the decor has more personality and story arc than the actual beings on screen.

If the final product is failed, it really doesn't matter how precise and thorough the whole process has been. To me, Transformers is just as enjoyable as a screensaver of 3D fractals randomly exploding. Sure it's colorful, but so is bashing your head against a concrete wall...

[Shadaloo]

I'd argue that any viewpoint which holds the '86 movie in higher regard than the live action films is SEVERELY distorted through the filter of nostalgia goggles, though.

No. I'm sorry, between toilet humor like Devastator's testicles and focus on dogs fucking (WHY?), ugly robots with barely any personalities to speak of - except when they're based on ethnic stereotypes - and incredibly shitty performances by John cheeseball Turturro, Megan goddamned Fox, Shia fucking Laboeuf, continued focus on the US Military and the boring, milquetoast characters they stuff its ranks with that we're supposed to give a shit about as being the deciding factor in resolving each and every conflict, and Optimus Prime, pillar of nobility - ripping off someone's face - no, just no.

I know that the 1986 animated movie is an hour-and-a-half long toy commercial which follows a very standard hero's journey. I'm well aware of that. It was made for kids, to make their parents buy them toys (which, of course, are all of these things, in the long run). I know it's full of animation errors. But I can still turn that movie on and smile from start to finish. You've got performances by one seriously remarkable cast (and Judd Nelson). It doesn't feel cynical the way Bay's movies do; it's got more heart than the four of them combined (lolz). And I'm going to reiterate that Bay completely and totally fails at establishing most of the Cybertronians as characters - you can scoff, but the TF series as a whole is so much more than the original cartoon - we had thirty years of comics and multiple TV series in which to get to know various robots. Four movies in and I couldn't really tell you what any of the Bayformers are like, barring Optimus, Bumblebee and Megatron, though I do admittedly remember Hound standing out a little in the last one.

Starscream had what, five lines across three movies? That's not a character, that's an extra. Background fodder. Unforgivable when your given pilot episode of any TF show introduces a whole cast inside an hourand typically gives you a feel for each of them after a few episodes.

I'm not one of those rabid "humans in transformers are bad" rabid fanboy types, but these movies place TFs as characters in the background as an afterthought to the main cast. It should be the other way around.

So I don't just hold the G1 animated movie and cartoon above these films; I hold the Marvel US & UK, Dreamwave and IDW comic runs higher, not to mention the excellent Beast Wars series, TF Animated, and TF Prime. They're not just bad Transformers experiences to me, they're bad movies. ROTF had some of the shittiest pacing I've ever had the misfortune to witness.

You want some good Transformers? Go out - right now - and read James' Roberts More Than Meets The Eye comic series. Do it. It took everything I ever knew about the franchise and turned it on its head.

Decepticons starting out as idealists intending to topple a corrupt political system. Entire political movements outlined like the Functionists' caste system; what a TF turned into after being created dictated their function for the remainder of your existence, and it was something the population rebelled against. Well-developed characters. Notions of relationships amongst a mechanical race which dispels concepts of gender as mostly irrelevant. Providing reasons that characters like Shockwave have one eye and a gun for a hand - they were punished by the senate for acting out against them and forcibly reconfigured to mark them as criminals and seditionists.

And hell, if you want gritty, it's got you covered too. There's the Decepticon Justice Division: Five sadistic zealots whose entire reason for existing is to hunt down and terminate rogue Decepticons. One of them has a melting chamber in his chest, another has a grinder, one of them turns into an electric chair, etc. Only time reading anything TF has actually disturbed me.

http://static.seibertron.com/images/news/gfx/1342854238_original5.jpg

I really, really can't speak highly enough of this series. It's the best TF fiction's ever been, period. And holy god is it ever hilarious at times:

http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/attachments/transformers-3rd-party-discussion/27382126d1375644907-beelzeboss-honor-shield-generations-trailbreaker-p7.jpg

And I think that's the thing about the Bay movies that bothers me so very much - they miss the spirit of Transformers and take themselves too seriously, delving into self-parody as a result.

But...to each their own.

[Hazekiah]

As much as I laud and respect your endless hyper enthusiasm @Hazekiah (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=1162) , nothing you can say can convince me that Transformers isn't a garbled mess from the get go.

And as a general rule, it doesn't matter how much care, how much effort and craftsmanship you've deployed to create something, if you end up with a mess then a mess it is (I'm looking at you, Prometheus).

And it isn't a high brow approach either : I've enjoyed Guardians of the Galaxy, I've even enjoyed Pacific Rim ffs... I'm more than ready to switch my brains off for the sheer pleasure of a good ride. But Transformers is just unwatchable and unenjoyable. It's a mess. The script's a mess, the action's a mess, the designs are messy, and the characters... Well, the decor has more personality and story arc than the actual beings on screen.

If the final product is failed, it really doesn't matter how precise and thorough the whole process has been. To me, Transformers is just as enjoyable as a screensaver of 3D fractals randomly exploding. Sure it's colorful, but so is bashing your head against a concrete wall...

Well, firstly, thanks for the kind words about my "endless hyper enthusiasm," lol...much appreciated!

However, with respect, I sincerely think that people just "switching off" their brains for these movies is part of the problem. If more people actually kept their brains "switched on" and paid attention, I think they'd generally appreciate the movies more and see that there's more than just colorful, random explosions going on, not to mention better understanding and making sense of the so-called "messy" script, action, and designs. Speaking of which...

The designs are highly-detailed, granted. But they're also all fairly distinct and easy to tell apart as long as a modicum of focus is applied by the viewer, in addition to the fact that it's something which has been continually improved upon by the films. Autobots are individualized primary colors and Decepticons are metallic, bulky, jagged, borderline inhuman behemoths. How hard is THAT to tell apart? Same goes for the action. It gets pretty chaotic and fast-paced, no argument there! I can't imagine anyone glancing away or thinking about something else would follow it too well. But if you simply open your eyes and give it your full attention it's really quite simple to follow. And let's not forget that the third and fourth films being 3D have kept the camera FAR more static as well as the editing FAR less frenetic. And I honestly have no problem whatsoever with the scripts, either. What's so "messy" there? Naturally, there's a good bit of humor tossed-in and sprinkled throughout, I guess you could consider that a pacing or tone issue sometimes...but I tend to think of that as the sugar which helps the medicine go down. You know, the goofy stuff that helps keep the themes and motifs from coming across too heavy-handed or forced and which helps keep the proceedings fun for anyone not looking to get bogged down by the heavier stuff.

Which I think I've gone to some considerable length establishing is QUITE present, btw.

But people WILL need their brains turned-on to see it.

As for the décor having more personality than the actual characters, the set design and wardrobe choices actually ARE intricately, expertly detailed and relevant to the story. Glad you've noticed! I've ALWAYS appreciated that and I've actually done a LOT of research and writing expanding on how well done it is. But that's maybe for another post someday! I was writing that thread extemporaneously and it really needs some polishing to be more presentable, sorry. For now, I think it's simply worth mentioning that the titular characters, the Transformers themselves, are actually massively expensive, CGI creations, so their limited screentime is kind of a given. That said each successive film in the series has consistently done better and better at allowing for more character building and screentime for the Transformers. The dynamic between Optimus and Sentinel in the third film and the arc granted Prime's character in the fourth are excellent examples of that improvement.

However, it's also worth mentioning the brilliance of, say, Sam's arc within and across the films along with, say, the themes and motifs interwoven between and expressed by the human cast as well as the Transformers in the fourth film. Which is to say, when the CGI characters are WAY too expensive to do much with onscreen, you highlight the fact that the HUMAN CHARACTERS go through changes and develop and are themselves "transformers," in a way, mirroring (at far less cost) the arcs of the CGI characters they serve as stand-ins for, generally. As Optimus himself said, "Like us, there is more to them than meets the eye."

But, again, the audience would need to keep its brains turned-on to see that.


No. I'm sorry, between toilet humor like Devastator's testicles and focus on dogs fucking (WHY?), ugly robots with barely any personalities to speak of - except when they're based on ethnic stereotypes - and incredibly shitty performances by John cheeseball Turturro, Megan goddamned Fox, Shia fucking Laboeuf, continued focus on the US Military and the boring, milquetoast characters they stuff its ranks with that we're supposed to give a shit about as being the deciding factor in resolving each and every conflict, and Optimus Prime, pillar of nobility - ripping off someone's face - no, just no.

I know that the 1986 animated movie is an hour-and-a-half long toy commercial which follows a very standard hero's journey. I'm well aware of that. It was made for kids, to make their parents buy them toys (which, of course, are all of these things, in the long run). I know it's full of animation errors. But I can still turn that movie on and smile from start to finish. You've got performances by one seriously remarkable cast (and Judd Nelson). It doesn't feel cynical the way Bay's movies do; it's got more heart than the four of them combined (lolz). And I'm going to reiterate that Bay completely and totally fails at establishing most of the Cybertronians as characters - you can scoff, but the TF series as a whole is so much more than the original cartoon - we had thirty years of comics and multiple TV series in which to get to know various robots. Four movies in and I couldn't really tell you what any of the Bayformers are like, barring Optimus, Bumblebee and Megatron, though I do admittedly remember Hound standing out a little in the last one.

Starscream had what, five lines across three movies? That's not a character, that's an extra. Background fodder. Unforgivable when your given pilot episode of any TF show introduces a whole cast inside an hourand typically gives you a feel for each of them after a few episodes.

I'm not one of those rabid "humans in transformers are bad" rabid fanboy types, but these movies place TFs as characters in the background as an afterthought to the main cast. It should be the other way around.

So I don't just hold the G1 animated movie and cartoon above these films; I hold the Marvel US & UK, Dreamwave and IDW comic runs higher, not to mention the excellent Beast Wars series, TF Animated, and TF Prime. They're not just bad Transformers experiences to me, they're bad movies. ROTF had some of the shittiest pacing I've ever had the misfortune to witness.

You want some good Transformers? Go out - right now - and read James' Roberts More Than Meets The Eye comic series. Do it. It took everything I ever knew about the franchise and turned it on its head.

Decepticons starting out as idealists intending to topple a corrupt political system. Entire political movements outlined like the Functionists' caste system; what a TF turned into after being created dictated their function for the remainder of your existence, and it was something the population rebelled against. Well-developed characters. Notions of relationships amongst a mechanical race which dispels concepts of gender as mostly irrelevant. Providing reasons that characters like Shockwave have one eye and a gun for a hand - they were punished by the senate for acting out against them and forcibly reconfigured to mark them as criminals and seditionists.

And hell, if you want gritty, it's got you covered too. There's the Decepticon Justice Division: Five sadistic zealots whose entire reason for existing is to hunt down and terminate rogue Decepticons. One of them has a melting chamber in his chest, another has a grinder, one of them turns into an electric chair, etc. Only time reading anything TF has actually disturbed me.

[snip]

And I think that's the thing about the Bay movies that bothers me so very much - they miss the spirit of Transformers and take themselves too seriously, delving into self-parody as a result.

But...to each their own.

Do they? Do they REALLY miss the spirit of the franchise?

Because I remember Transformers as being the kids franchise that had balls. (More on that later, lol.) It had bad guys that turned into GUNS. Not just day-glo laser-pistols like Shockwave, but REALISTIC replicas of a Walther PP gun sold to kids. It killed off characters wholesale. Beloved characters! Brutally and graphically, no less! It had a rock & roll soundtrack when paranoid parents everywhere were burning rock records and boycotting MTV. It had an MTV video, ffs! It had some pretty "questionable" humor. Rumble covered in birdshit, Octane ogling mechaporn, Optimus "plugging into his" pink gf with a cable from his hip into her womb and moaning as they "interfaced," her "special power" radiating from her "special place," etc. all leap to mind.

And the movies miss the spirit of G1 by delving into the realm of "ethnic stereotypes," you say? Perhaps you're forgetting that Iron Hide was almost LITERALLY a redneck. And Jazz spoke jive and was voiced by Scatman Crothers because JAZZ MUSIC = BLACK, lol. The list goes on and on. Hell, even the utter stupidity of the Dinobots was based on the thinking at the time that the "walnut-sized" brains of dinosaurs meant they must have been retarded. And OMG "Carbomya," ffs.

But somehow The Twins aren't in the spirit of all that? Or Drift, the samurai-bot voiced by Ken Watanabe? Or John Goodman basically reprising his gung ho military man role from The Big Lebowski as a grizzled soldier who turns into a military vehicle?

And overly-simplistic sketches of characters though they may be, the movieverse Autobots and (admittedly most of) the Decepticons all have clearly-defined characters, which they manage to achieve despite limited, expensive CGI screentime across only a handful of two-and-a-half-hour movies, rather than HUNDREDS of issues and episodes and 30+ years of opportunity. That's not even a fair comparison, yet the movies still come out on top there...or at the very least maintain the spirit of the overstuffed first two or three years of the show and comic, wherein basically every single character was a Johnny One-Note with almost ZERO personality beyond whatever their ONE identifiable trait or purpose was quickly established as being.

And ONOES THE MILITARY!!1! Earth Defense Force and countless G.I. Joe crossovers, anyone? C'mon, now. It's not even an issue, we ALL know the military would IMMEDIATELY get involved in the case of a hostile, alien invasion. And Bay's great relationship with the military not only helped sell the global scale of the movies at ZERO cost for the production value, but they were generally portrayed realistically AND with a sizable emphasis on the faults in their command and implementation. Was it kinda gung ho? Sure, but still within the spirit of the franchise, for the sake of a worthy trade-off, and not without leveling some criticism towards the institution as a whole. I'd say that's a solid WIN/WIN/WIN.

Optimus Prime ripping someone's face off? He's a goddamned field general in a war spanning THOUSANDS of years. Sorry, brutal violence is just part of the job. But, hey, don't take MY word for it! Sure, G1 Optimus is a "pillar of nobility." But he ALSO went on a MEGATRON MUST BE STOPPED, NO MATTER THE COST kill-crazy rampage, running down and blasting away the Decepticon ranks across the battlefield and outright MOCKING Megatron's helpless pleas for mercy as he leveled his ion rifle right at his face to EXECUTE him then and there. Oh, and what was the VERY FIRST THING Orion Pax did after being reformatted into Optimus Prime?

Ohhh, that's right...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/War_dawn_pt3_zpsc8kxx1kn.gif

Which isn't to say I find those actions inappropriate or ignoble, mind you! I'm just saying that we should NOT for ONE moment pretend that G1 Optimus himself WOULDN'T rip-off the face of The Fallen if he'd had half-a-chance to do so. He even kicked Megatron right in the dick, ffslol. G1 Optimus did what he had to do, just like live action Optimus does.

Anyway, I'm sure you see my point by now.

And I don't even know why we're talking about the comics, I never said anything bad about them. I'm a huge fan! The Marvel Comics "Transformers" series was actually the first comic book I ever subscribed to ("G.I. Joe" and "G.I. Joe: Special Missions" being the only others), because they were THAT good and THAT important to me. Sure, there were plenty of duds there and they certainly had their problems, but when they were good they were GREAT. I've followed a bit of the Dreamwave stuff since then (mostly decided it wasn't that great I didn't really care much about it), and I LOVE most of what IDW's done with their line of Transformers comics. I haven't had a chance to check out much of "TF: MtMtE" or "TF:RiD" yet, but I've seen enough to know they're great and to look forward to killing a few days at Barnes & Noble reading whatever I can until I have the chance to buy them for myself.

No arguments there, it's great stuff! The world-building, character-building, and story-arcs of the format aren't really comparable to that of the movie format, though. Same goes for the cartoons. It's comparing YEARS of daily/weekly/monthly stories to two-and-a-half-hours worth every few years, man. It's RIDICULOUS to compare the two, and that's not even addressing the fact that comic artists are obviously FAR cheaper than ILM, lol.

So let's compare the animated movie to the live action movies instead!

Which, I hasten to add, was my original point to you in the first place.

If you can look at that mess of a film uncritically while shitting all over the Bay films than, again, I say you are filtering your impression through the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia goggles.

Both have animation and continuity errors, so fair's fair, w/e.

Both have some questionable acting choices and quality, so that's a draw again. And good on you for preemptively mentioning Judd Nelson, lol.

Both have characters who just seem to appear out of nowhere and characters who disappear offscreen, but then both feature revolving casts and time-jumps so w/e.

Not much "toilet humor" in the G1 movie, granted. But its companion TV show had plenty, Spike swears (and maybe Hot Rod, btw), and it was a different time for ratings and the franchise was basically just kid-fodder back then, with no real attention paid to teenage or adult markets, unlike the live action films.

Now let's talk pacing. Jeezus, that G1 movie stops cold for some lame-ass '80s rock song action sequence every 15 minutes, lol. And don't even get me started on "Dare to be Stoopid!" Ugh. And wtf was the point of the Quintessons or that whole trial sequence? It just pretty much comes out of nowhere with no purpose.

Same goes for logic and basic storytelling. WTF IS THE MATRIX? Why is it the only thing that can kill Unicron? WTF IS UNICRON? And Optimus can die because TOY SALEZ but Ultra Magnus is dead-but-fixable (albeit still useless) because PLOT ARMOR? Seriously, Optimus dies from a few gutshots but Magnus gets BLOWN TO PEICES and they basically GLUE HIM BACK TOGETHER without even THINKING to go get Optimus and do the same, lol. WTF IS THAT SHIT?!? If people want to talk about "messy scripts," than the G1 movie is the one that REALLY needs to be the focus of THAT discussion.

Sorry!

At least the live action movies explain the Matrix, who The Fallen is, why he has it out for the Autobots, and why he's scared of Primes. I mean, Optimus DID come back from the dead just to bitchslap his underlings, rip his face off, punch his spark out from behind, and crush it in front of his eyes, lolomg.

Let's be clear, I enjoy the G1 movie as much as anyone! Probably WAY more than most, if fact.

But it's basically a PoS with almost nothing going on under the hood.

Again, as I've detailed at length in many essays (and many more to come!), the live action movies are an altogether different beast in that respect and OMFG I love them for that.

Oh, and I'm sure you and @Jinsai (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=272) will be pleased to know that I'm MORE than prepared to address the issue of Devastator's testicles and related "toilet humor" more thoroughly, but I'll save that for another post.

:)

[Shadaloo]

I would argue that the difference between the examples you're giving in regards to stereotypes between G1 vs the Bay films is how overt they're being about it, and how much it pemeates the atmosphere of the Bay films.

There's nothing wrong with characters having accents; it's what they do with them. G1 Ironhide's accent by itself doesn't imply anything negative about the character. He speaks in drawl, which is not specifically 'redneck'.

Now I'm not going to sit here and pretend like G1 wasn't insensitive at times - Carbombya speaks for itself, and yes, G1 Jazz spoke in jive. That's fair. But across four seasons of the old cartoon, the presence of moments like that was comparably brief in comparison to the films. Consider the tech support guy from the first movie, speaking with the thickest of indian accents, working the stereotypical Indian tech support job. Or Jerry "Deep" Wang.

You bring moments like that into a movie next to characters like Skids and Mudflap, and you can't tell me that their dialogue about 'not being able to read so good' doesn't play to the exact same type of stereotyping. Maybe it wouldn't if I learned a bit more about them as characters. Maybe if they featured in one damn scene which had them ferrying someone around while they talk about what they make of earth, or their life back home. Maybe if I got to know them. Leading me to:

The military: sure, yes, they'd get involved. Yes, they were portrayed well. But who cares about Lt. Commander Jerry McFuckface? Not me. Yes, it makes sense to have them around, but I don't give two shits about the family this one guy's got at home; why should I? For that matter, why should I give a shit about him? The focus and time spent on them could have, and should have, be better spent building characters like Starscream or Ratchet. Or Barricade, who disappeared for ages with no explanation. Or, yes, Skids and Mudflap. I can't stress how badly the lack of characterization for the robots hurts these films and undermines their entire point.

The presence of the military in this film should be limited to a background supporting role with maybe one liason side character. Nothing more, nothing less.

We should have a cast of Autobots and Decepticons who are characters. Instead we have Optimus, a mute Bumblebee, and three or four replaceable background robots versus Megatron (now Galvatron, the differences between which and how the change has affected him have yet to even be portrayed, nor do I expect them to be) and a small army of equally replaceabale robots, all of them background characters who are ultimately there to shoot stuff and get blown up before we have a chance to learn about them the way we have about Mr. Fuckface. A major problem with these movies is that the Bayformers crew barely saw the robots as characters, and gave them personality quirks instead of character traits. That's why Bumblebee can't talk - he doesn't need to express an opinion; he's something for the human cast to react to. Bay even said something along those lines around the time of the first movie; he didn't believe robots could work as relatable characters. It took four films before he even started to treat them that way.

Re: Optimus: Good lord man, It's not the fact that he executed someone, it's the way he did it. Couldn't he have just, what, chopped his head off with an axe, or shot him or something? You're missing the point of what I'm saying; yes, Optimus can and will kill people in a fight, but this is a guy who laments every life he has to take. It was an overtly brutal, nasty method of killing, a nasty image. He made him suffer. That's just not Optimus, it's too vicious. You'll note here that I'm not even bringing up the time he took off Bonecrusher's head or caved in Megs's skull or anything; again: yes, he's a soldier, and a good one, one who does his job, but never, ever someone who lingers on the kill, or makes his enemy suffer like that. It was a hateful kill, and your comparisons to the G1 movie scene don't hold up; Optimus and Megatron in that series had a history, and that moment was a long time coming. He wasn't savoring the moment or anything; he was calling out Megatron on his own bullshit before he finished him off. If you think, for a second, Optimus would ever make someone suffer, even his worst enemy, you're willfully blinding yourself to the piss-poor interpretation of the character in that scene, or you're willing to blindly accept any depiction of the character that's offered up to you. The one time it ever happened that I can remember, was in the IDW comics when Megatron, in captivity, pushed his buttons so badly that he gave him a near-fatal electric jolt in a moment of unthinking rage; which he instantly regretted and was a factor in his deciding to step down as Prime for a long time. Optimus doesn't do unnecessary brutality.

As a reminder, I grant that Age Of Extinction was a bit better about making them into characters. I enjoyed Lockdown. But they should have started off that way! To say that the Bayformer films had clearly-defined characters?

Define movie Starscream, Barricade, Frenzy or Bonecrusher to me, using no tie-in comics or toy specs. Please. Show me what characters the movie gave them.

And it is really telling that you're focusing on on the G1 show and comic to zero in on characters you don't believe have much of a personality either when, as you've pointed out, we've had thirty years of content since. Let's go back to 2007, with Transformers Animated: in the space of the three-episode pilot - three isolated episodes which require no outside knowledge of the franchise to understand at all - you get a feel for each one of the Cybertronian characters, Autobot and Decepticon alike. The same holds true for the first parts of Beast Wars and Prime. I'm not comparing the movies directly to thirty years of storytelling or being remotely unfair; I'm pointing out that there's a lot to choose from, and if I have to specify; these films fail as Transformers stories when held up against any given series pilot. Pick a series. Hell, even the original five-part More Than meets The Eye G1 pilot managed to sketch out more bare-bones characters than the Bay films bothered to. In every case, three to five episodes; your average movie length. That's all you need, with no knowledge of any other series. That's all it takes to introduce a cast of Transformers. And Bay & Co. never bothered to do it properly for four movies.

Now, we're talking about the comics because I'm using them to prove just how far Transformers has come from the simplistic stereotypes you're justifying as present in the movies because the G1 cartoon exhibited such behavior at times. That's the crux of your defense: "The series did it thirty years ago, this is nothing new." But we're in entirely different entertainment climates these days; kids' shows have evolved. There's no room for this shit anymore. And I can be forgiving when it comes to a Reagan-era toy commercial, it was a more naive time. But a series of blockbuster hollywood films designed to appeal to the mass moviegoing audience in the present day? No. Even less room for this shit. Far less.

That's the funny thing here, actually. You've given me these examples to try and prove that the Bayformers films haven't done anything that the G1 series didn't do first; but it's not like that justifies their presence. The series is so much more than the old toy commerical you're using to compare these films to (but while we're at it, I'm also going to point out that half of Season 2 of the show was devoted to introducing and fleshing out new characters in almost every episode; half-hour spotlights for each character. Did they do it well? Arguable, but they at least TRIED. Also: the Dinobots were portrayed as articulated and intelligent in the Marvel comic, Grimlock especially towards the end of it).

And those ugly moments aren't what I'd call "in the spirit" of the various series. Far from. That, I'd hypothesize, is best encapsulated by the joy of seeing how the Transformers react to our world as much as we react to theirs.

Those goofy moments, like where Optimus plays basketball, Ratchet marvelling at campers preparing a weenie roast, or Jazz telling Buster that Madonna's Material Girl is amazing music he wishes they had back on Cybertron. Or Animated Prime's eyes widening when Sari whispers to him about where babies come from. Really lighthearted moments that make you smile, you know? Which are impossible when you don't treat the robots as characters.

Now as for the 1986 movie? Your exact quote was "I'd argue that any viewpoint which holds the '86 movie in higher regard than the live action films is SEVERELY distorted through the filter of nostalgia goggles".

Like I said, "I know that the 1986 animated movie is an hour-and-a-half long toy commercial". I know the Matrix is a giant plot device. I know Unicron has no explanation, that he just shows up. But I can say "this is a movie about the Transformers." It's a basic hero's journey - Hot Rod's. The Quintessons and the trial do have a purpose; they exist as a narrative device for Hot Rod to witness the brutality of the universe and prepare him for becoming Prime. It does nothing but follow basic storytelling tropes and it still tells a better damn Transformers story than all four Bay films do. It explored the Transformers' universe, showed us teeming worlds of robot fish, planets made of junk, and sets kids' imaginations alight. Do we forget that it was a movie, and that this is a franchise, aimed at children?

If TF 86 had a message, it was about finding hope in the darkest of times and living up to one's potential. It was, ultimately, an optimistic film despite all the horrible acts of war that occurred in it. I can watch it and smile, no matter how little sense it makes. I can at least enjoy the thing for all of its lunacy, and argue that a Weird Al-scored motorcycle chase scene - a moment of innocent fun meant to get the kids dancing - has way more damn justification to be in a Transformers film than a three-minute back-and-forth conversation with a cultural stereotype of a tech support guy from India.

Yes, I can watch TF 86 to this day and hold it in very high regard indeed. because it was a really, really fucking entertaining kid's show that had no aspirations to be anything but, which didn't even realize the potential it had at the time.

And can I point out, Haz, with all due respect, that you're trying to prove the inferiority of one single 29-year old kids' movie-slash-glorified-cartoon-commercial to a series of blockbuster films on a ridiculous budget staffed by supposedly, capable Hollywood screenwriters? How bad is that, that there is even a need to try?

[Ryan]

Hazekiah - your dedication to this and Manson is as crazy as mine is to Danzig haha

[Hazekiah]

^ Haha, I do try, lol...thanks!

And I've been meaning to drop this post in here for awhile now but never got around to it till now.

Sorry, @Shadaloo (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=685)! My dance-card's been kinda full lately, I'll reply to your most recent post in full at a later date, I promise. In the meantime, I believe I left you and @Jinsai (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=272) hanging (so to speak) on an earlier point...

(Oh, and I'm guessing hellospaceboy might get a kick out of this too, lol.)


No. I'm sorry, between toilet humor like Devastator's testicles and focus on dogs fucking (WHY?)


Because I remember Transformers as being the kids franchise that had balls. (More on that later, lol.)

As promised...



DEVASTATOR'S WRECKING BALLS
ARE THE CORE OF THE MOVIE!!!


Firstly, it's worth noting that I find Devastator's wrecking ball scrotum absolutely HILARIOUS and in no way in need of ANY further justification beyond that alone.

However, as with my similarly-titled thread analyzing the symbolism of a likewise commonly dismissed and VASTLY unappreciated scene from Transformers: Dark of the Moon, The Red Cup FREAKOUT Scene is THE CORE OF THE MOVIE!!!, I assure you that I am actually 1,000% SERIOUS about this and hope you'll all gird your loins long enough to hear me out and bear with me for the sake of better understanding the IMMENSE subtlety of such a BLATANTLY balls-out and IN-YOUR-FACE yet somehow still incredibly sneaky and clever scene such as THIS:


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-15502_zpsywqacxnu.jpg

As with my recent thread about English words hidden in Cybertronian dialogue, I'd been meaning to post about this for a LONG time but never really got around to it until the subject came up in another thread recently. Or, more accurately in this case, about a BILLION threads.

Unfortunately, I've simply never quite had the time after joining this forum due to my exceedingly busy schedule traveling and because whenever I finally HAVE had the time I was also having LOTS of trouble finding the screencaps I wanted for this thread. Luckily, I was bored enough today to take another look around and LO AND BEHOLD! the screencaps I'd been looking for all this time were just a quick google search away!

Also, I'd just like to further preface this by pointing out that I'd MUCH RATHER be working on the many, many threads regarding Transformers: Age of Extinction which I've been chipping away at in my notebooks over the past year, like my exploration of the knighthood theme in that film, but w/e...those are all pretty damned involved and I can bash this one out RIGHT now, so all in good time, right? Plus, I should've posted this about SIX years ago so I'm even further behind schedule on THIS one, lol.

So here we go!

As I'm sure you're all WELL aware, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is easily the most maligned film of the series to date, and no scene in the film is MORE reviled by its detractors than THIS scene. Often called "pointless," it is among the most blatant examples of the so-called "toilet humor" which is so commonly at the heart of the movie's criticisms, particularly because so many think it "has no place" in the movie or any value AT ALL beyond that of a cheap laugh.


THIS THREAD SEEKS TO REMEDY
THAT MISUNDERSTANDING.

So what IS the "core" of the movie, and how exactly DOES this scene fit into that thematic statement???

As the opening and closing monologues of this movie establish, one of the core plot points of the entire movie is the revelation that Earth and Cybertron share a FAR more ancient history together than was previously known. In fact, the film even goes so far as to establish that the core of the dispute between Autobots and Decepticons actually revolves around The Fallen's attempt to break the code of the Primes by eradicating all life on Earth with the Sun Harvester for his own selfish and evil motives.

But, stepping back from those points for a moment, we must also acknowledge the baselessness of yet another common criticism of the film, regarding the so-called "toilet humor" prevalent throughout, such as the Witwicky family's pets humping away on the sofa, for instance.
However, are they even really fornicating?

Nope! In fact, Ron Witwicky's dialogue makes that explicitly clear:


MOJO! STOP DOMINATING FRANKIE!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-1109_zpsmudxaka6.jpg

Yes, as the scene above establishes, the "dog-humping" scenes DO NOT depict actual reproductive acts, but represent instead acts of DOMINANCE, behavior which even neutered males and the female of the species engage in socially to express their "alpha" status over others.

Likewise, the scene of Wheelie "humping" Mikaela's leg later in the film is meant as a display of dominance for the film's audience as much as for the characters themselves, brilliantly set-up and foreshadowed by Mojo's OWN display of dominance over Frankie, illustrating not only that Mikaela is Wheelie's "goddess" and that he belongs to her, but also that SHE belongs to HIM, much to Sam's dismay.


YEAH! YEAH! SAY MY NAME! SAY MY NAME!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-10062_zpsguhcw45j.jpg

Which leads me to the point of this thread!

How exactly do these so often derided and misunderstood scenes play into the movie's CORE themes of a shared history between Earth and Cybertron and the root of the schism between the Autobots and Decepticons?

Wait for it...

Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly submit to you...


DECEPTICONS DOMINATING OUR PLANET


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-15544_zpsvgvel3i7.jpg

All of which taken together, I hasten to add, demonstrates a FANTASTICALLY subtle and clever employment of The Screenwriter's Rule of Three, simultaneously establishing the underpinnings of the humor and, more importantly, the very meaning of the scene in question, wherein we see Devastator straddling an ancient monument from Earth's history and revealing it to be in actuality, the Sun Harvester, an instrument of Decepticon dominance over mankind.

Pretty clever stuff for a film so many people constantly accuse of being so poorly written!

Hell, this theme of domination which the film constructs over the course of three, evenly spaced acts even offers something in the way of a more intrinsically naturalistic explanation for the movie's similarly widely-criticized transformation of Devastator from his traditional, bipedal design to that of a lumbering, four-legged beast-like design, insofar as it makes more plainly recognizable the visual parallel between Mojo's dominance over Frankie and Devastator's dominance over us.

And for anyone who thinks that the filmmakers underutilized and failed to take FULL advantage of their unprecedented access to the Great Pyramids of Giza, or that this scene was nothing more than a tasteless, throwaway gag with no place or purpose within the movie, I sincerely suggest turning your brain back on and PAYING ATTENTION to what's actually going on within the scene and the film as a whole.

I mean, this stuff is PURE GOLD, man!

Even the so-called "lowbrow" humor of Simmons' dialogue perfectly encapsulates the visual metaphor of Decepticon domination over not only Earth's history but, indeed, MANKIND ITSELF.

To wit...


I AM DIRECTLY BELOW ENEMY SCROTUM!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-15506_zpsewdp3gjr.jpg

And there we have it!

Naturally, I have A LOT more to say on this subject, but I'll save that for a later date since I can already feel the nerdrage, hatred, and blind rejection coming my way after explaining all this, lol.

In the meantime, I hope you've found this as enjoyable as it is enlightening!

:)

[GibbonBlack]

Dude. They're just balls, and they're there because some people laugh at balls...and that's ok. There's no need to go to such lengths to try and justify it.


That being said though, kudos for all your hard work in finding connections between things that don't exist. It is interesting to read.

[Shadaloo]

Apophenia

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/993/450/675.gif





Edit: But for real now Haz, I admire your passion and fervor for the things you love but...your post has caused Pink Floyd's seminal classic "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" to leap into my head unbidden. I salute you.

[Jinsai]

what the fuck...

[Ryan]

^ Haha, I do try, lol...thanks!

And I've been meaning to drop this post in here for awhile now but never got around to it till now.

Sorry, @Shadaloo (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=685)! My dance-card's been kinda full lately, I'll reply to your most recent post in full at a later date, I promise. In the meantime, I believe I left you and @Jinsai (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=272) hanging (so to speak) on an earlier point...

(Oh, and I'm guessing @hellospaceboy (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=1687) might get a kick out of this too, lol.)





As promised...



DEVASTATOR'S WRECKING BALLS
ARE THE CORE OF THE MOVIE!!!


Firstly, it's worth noting that I find Devastator's wrecking ball scrotum absolutely HILARIOUS and in no way in need of ANY further justification beyond that alone.

However, as with my similarly-titled thread analyzing the symbolism of a likewise commonly dismissed and VASTLY unappreciated scene from Transformers: Dark of the Moon, The Red Cup FREAKOUT Scene is THE CORE OF THE MOVIE!!!, I assure you that I am actually 1,000% SERIOUS about this and hope you'll all gird your loins long enough to hear me out and bear with me for the sake of better understanding the IMMENSE subtlety of such a BLATANTLY balls-out and IN-YOUR-FACE yet somehow still incredibly sneaky and clever scene such as THIS:


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-15502_zpsywqacxnu.jpg

As with my recent thread about English words hidden in Cybertronian dialogue, I'd been meaning to post about this for a LONG time but never really got around to it until the subject came up in another thread recently. Or, more accurately in this case, about a BILLION threads.

Unfortunately, I've simply never quite had the time after joining this forum due to my exceedingly busy schedule traveling and because whenever I finally HAVE had the time I was also having LOTS of trouble finding the screencaps I wanted for this thread. Luckily, I was bored enough today to take another look around and LO AND BEHOLD! the screencaps I'd been looking for all this time were just a quick google search away!

Also, I'd just like to further preface this by pointing out that I'd MUCH RATHER be working on the many, many threads regarding Transformers: Age of Extinction which I've been chipping away at in my notebooks over the past year, like my exploration of the knighthood theme in that film, but w/e...those are all pretty damned involved and I can bash this one out RIGHT now, so all in good time, right? Plus, I should've posted this about SIX years ago so I'm even further behind schedule on THIS one, lol.

So here we go!

As I'm sure you're all WELL aware, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is easily the most maligned film of the series to date, and no scene in the film is MORE reviled by its detractors than THIS scene. Often called "pointless," it is among the most blatant examples of the so-called "toilet humor" which is so commonly at the heart of the movie's criticisms, particularly because so many think it "has no place" in the movie or any value AT ALL beyond that of a cheap laugh.


THIS THREAD SEEKS TO REMEDY
THAT MISUNDERSTANDING.

So what IS the "core" of the movie, and how exactly DOES this scene fit into that thematic statement???

As the opening and closing monologues of this movie establish, one of the core plot points of the entire movie is the revelation that Earth and Cybertron share a FAR more ancient history together than was previously known. In fact, the film even goes so far as to establish that the core of the dispute between Autobots and Decepticons actually revolves around The Fallen's attempt to break the code of the Primes by eradicating all life on Earth with the Sun Harvester for his own selfish and evil motives.

But, stepping back from those points for a moment, we must also acknowledge the baselessness of yet another common criticism of the film, regarding the so-called "toilet humor" prevalent throughout, such as the Witwicky family's pets humping away on the sofa, for instance.
However, are they even really fornicating?

Nope! In fact, Ron Witwicky's dialogue makes that explicitly clear:


MOJO! STOP DOMINATING FRANKIE!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-1109_zpsmudxaka6.jpg

Yes, as the scene above establishes, the "dog-humping" scenes DO NOT depict actual reproductive acts, but represent instead acts of DOMINANCE, behavior which even neutered males and the female of the species engage in socially to express their "alpha" status over others.

Likewise, the scene of Wheelie "humping" Mikaela's leg later in the film is meant as a display of dominance for the film's audience as much as for the characters themselves, brilliantly set-up and foreshadowed by Mojo's OWN display of dominance over Frankie, illustrating not only that Mikaela is Wheelie's "goddess" and that he belongs to her, but also that SHE belongs to HIM, much to Sam's dismay.


YEAH! YEAH! SAY MY NAME! SAY MY NAME!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-10062_zpsguhcw45j.jpg

Which leads me to the point of this thread!

How exactly do these so often derided and misunderstood scenes play into the movie's CORE themes of a shared history between Earth and Cybertron and the root of the schism between the Autobots and Decepticons?

Wait for it...

Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly submit to you...


DECEPTICONS DOMINATING OUR PLANET


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-15544_zpsvgvel3i7.jpg

All of which taken together, I hasten to add, demonstrates a FANTASTICALLY subtle and clever employment of The Screenwriter's Rule of Three, simultaneously establishing the underpinnings of the humor and, more importantly, the very meaning of the scene in question, wherein we see Devastator straddling an ancient monument from Earth's history and revealing it to be in actuality, the Sun Harvester, an instrument of Decepticon dominance over mankind.

Pretty clever stuff for a film so many people constantly accuse of being so poorly written!

Hell, this theme of domination which the film constructs over the course of three, evenly spaced acts even offers something in the way of a more intrinsically naturalistic explanation for the movie's similarly widely-criticized transformation of Devastator from his traditional, bipedal design to that of a lumbering, four-legged beast-like design, insofar as it makes more plainly recognizable the visual parallel between Mojo's dominance over Frankie and Devastator's dominance over us.

And for anyone who thinks that the filmmakers underutilized and failed to take FULL advantage of their unprecedented access to the Great Pyramids of Giza, or that this scene was nothing more than a tasteless, throwaway gag with no place or purpose within the movie, I sincerely suggest turning your brain back on and PAYING ATTENTION to what's actually going on within the scene and the film as a whole.

I mean, this stuff is PURE GOLD, man!

Even the so-called "lowbrow" humor of Simmons' dialogue perfectly encapsulates the visual metaphor of Decepticon domination over not only Earth's history but, indeed, MANKIND ITSELF.

To wit...


I AM DIRECTLY BELOW ENEMY SCROTUM!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/Mobile%20Uploads/transformers-revenge-movie-screencaps.com-15506_zpsewdp3gjr.jpg

And there we have it!

Naturally, I have A LOT more to say on this subject, but I'll save that for a later date since I can already feel the nerdrage, hatred, and blind rejection coming my way after explaining all this, lol.

In the meantime, I hope you've found this as enjoyable as it is enlightening!

:)

lmfao.
tony.parente Kris

[Wretchedest]

Over a year later, how is this the most thorough thread on this forum?

[Ryan]

Over a year later, how is this the most thorough thread on this forum?

Ah, the great mysteries of ETS.

[october_midnight]

Dude. They're just balls, and they're there because some people laugh at balls...and that's ok. There's no need to go to such lengths to try and justify it.


That being said though, kudos for all your hard work in finding connections between things that don't exist. It is interesting to read.

Careful, pretty sure that counts as 'nerdrage'. Not the type of rage that occurs after wasting one's life talking about robot balls in a movie, but it's up there.

[tony.parente]

Man I had no idea this thread existed and I've never seen anything related to transformers ever. I think I have some catching up to do.

[kel]

Man I had no idea this thread existed and I've never seen anything related to transformers ever. I think I have some catching up to do.

you aren't missing a thing, tony. they're terrible movies.

[Wretchedest]

A few pages down, Videodrome has zero replies. And while were comparing to Chinatown, it doesnt even have a thread. Chinatown. Everyone loves Chinatown, its fucking perfect.

[Archive_Reports]

Seems strangely relevant given the last Hazekiah post: http://gizmodo.com/there-are-strange-hot-spots-on-gizas-great-pyramid-and-1742207135

[hellospaceboy]

(Oh, and I'm guessing @hellospaceboy (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=1687) might get a kick out of this too, lol.)




You were right, this is brilliant!

[kel]

tony.parente, they're just noisy, long, insipid messes not worthy of ANY dissection, regardless of your feelings for haz. you'd be better off chewing on tin foil for three hours. promise. pinky swear, even.

[Shadaloo]

@tony.parente (http://www.echoingthesound.org/community/member.php?u=2107), if you're gonna catch up on Transformers and have a hankering for something that pays decent lip service to the old cartoon, doesn't take itself too seriously, and is just plain fun, I'd say to go right to the 2007 Transformers Animated show. It was written with care. Got cut short in the third season but they managed to wrap everything up nicely.

[Hazekiah]

So for those of you who don't know, Michael Bay's interview in "Rolling Stone" last December broke the news that he was returning for TF5 and already working on shots for it with ILM. Earlier this week we also learned that Isabela Moner was cast as a young girl whose only friend is a small Transformer, too.

But, as they've ramped up the production to begin actually filming (mostly in Detroit and London), we also learned today that one of the sites they have their eyes on is Stonehenge!

Sooo excited for this, especially since it plays RIGHT into the knighthood theme examined in my my essay on the previous page!

Well, possibly, at least.

Here's the post I just made about it in my thread on the subject:




Man, I still have a LOT more to say about all this and keep meaning to tweak the OP and add some stuff, but I've been living on the road since I wrote this and tour-chasing and life in general keep getting in the way.

Someday!

In the meantime, there's been a pretty cool development today regarding the knighthood theme found within the Transformers films. And I do mean that in the PLURAL sense, since the whole motif of knight-based design elements for the Transformers themselves began with Sentinel Prime, as revealed within the bonus features for TF:DotM, which is particularly of interest since he himself may have been a Cybertronian knight like his successor was revealed to have been in the following film.

But I digress.

As many of you may have noticed, the news broke today that TF5 has not only been scouting for filming locations in England, but specifically at STONEHENGE.

And so the plot thickens!

Intriguingly, one early, fictional accounting of the building of Stonehenge, by Geoffrey of Monmouth from his 14th century book Historia Regum Brittaniae, was that it was built by none other than Merlin himself and that King Arthur's father was buried inside its ring.

Of course there's no real way of knowing for sure exactly what their plans are for Stonehenge, but the very fact that they plan to film there at all would seem to suggest that the exploration of the knighthood theme from the previous two films is set to continue apace with the fifth!

OMFG I CANNOT WAIT.

Also of interest, and potential relevance to this discussion, is the lingering mystery of how exactly the massive blocks of Stonehenge were moved there and erected by ancient man. In fact, Merlin himself was said to have enlisted the help of "giants" in the task, an illustration of which from the same book by Geoffrey of Monmouth happens to be the earliest known depiction of Stonehenge, as seen below.

So.

Anyone wanna bet those giants who built Stonehenge will soon turn out to have been from Cybertron???

XD



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/image_zpsm7tonuze.jpeg

[Hazekiah]

OMFG YES

\m/ -___- \m/

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/image.jpg1_zpscbebrqab.jpg

[ManBurning]

Phew, I was starting to think old Haz died when he didn't rush to post this news the second it dropped earlier this week.

[october_midnight]

Phew, I was starting to think old Haz died when he didn't rush to post this news the second it dropped earlier this week.

More importantly though, you said you were done with this steaming turd of a franchise. Will they still sucker you out of your money once more?

[ManBurning]

More importantly though, you said you were done with this steaming turd of a franchise. Will they still sucker you out of your money once more?

No man, I am totally done with this crap this time. They ain't gonna get me this time around. That 4th one was my breaking point.

[Shadaloo]

<Obligatory post mentioning how these films are a blemish on an otherwise thoroughly enjoyable franchise>

[Hazekiah]

Personally, I think the movies are HANDS DOWN the very best part of the franchise. Well, the movies AND some of the better engineered toys, that is. Most of which themselves come from the movies! Nothing else within the franchise even comes CLOSE to measuring up, as far as I'm concerned.

And you might want to rethink skipping Transformers: The Last Knight. They've gotten pretty serious about establishing the Transformers Cinematic Universe of interconnected sequels, prequels, and spin-offs and taking things to the next level with their SUPERBLY curated writer's room.

For instance, this next movie is written by the two guys who wrote Iron Man and the guy who WON AN OSCAR for his screenplay adaptation of Black Hawk Down, ffs!

I mean...GODDAMN.

O_O

[kdrcraig]

I like these movies well enough but they're far from the best thing in this franchise. That's insane. Transformers Prime is way fucking better than any of these movies.

[Shadaloo]

<Obligatory post about how Trasnsformers: MTMTE is not only the best Transformers comic ever written, but is one of the best comics on the shelves today period>



I'm kind of hoping the boxes on boxes of discounted TF4 BluRays and BVS's lukewarm reception will be a good sign of things to come for TF5. And by that, I mean I hope it fails miserably and the movies are put on ice for a good decade and then rebooted with a completely different vision.

It'll probably coast along on Chinese audience numbers though.

But I'm skipping TF5 just as I skipped BvS. Maybe I'll watch it someday, but only when I don't have to pay a damn cent to do so. The days when I gave money to a franchise I love because it's a franchise I love are behind me. :p

[Hazekiah]

Well, the movies stalling out after TF:TLK obviously won't be happening. Paramount and Hasbro are committed to continuing the continuity till at least as far as 2025 as it stands right now, and with the wealth of awesomeness and talent coming from the writer's room summit orchestrating the sequels, prequels, and spin-offs...well, it doesn't exactly look like things will be slowing down or rebooted anytime soon!

XD


I like these movies well enough but they're far from the best thing in this franchise. That's insane. Transformers Prime is way fucking better than any of these movies.

Glad to hear you enjoy the movies AND TF:Prime! They happen to be two of my favorite iterations of the franchise myself. Which stands to reason considering the obvious aesthetic influence of the movies upon the show and the fact that the writers of the (first two installments of the) former are also the producers of the latter.

I actually got a HUGE kick out of all the fanservice winks & nods in TF:Prime. Not to mention the KICKASS 3D animation and AMAZING voice talent! Plus, the action and lore were both REALLY well-handled and the toys were pretty fucking cool, too. Hell, I was never really a TRUKK NOT MUNKEY kid even though I didn't really get into TF:Beast Wars/Machines back in the day, but even I can admit that the 3rd season switch-up from TF:Prime to TF:Prime Beast Hunters was actually pretty cool, too.

But, for MY money, nothing beats the live action movies.

Call that "insane" if you must, but as I see it, they're pretty much the pinnacle of the franchise to date.

Sure, the IDW comics are great. Sure, TF:Animated and TF:Prime were great, too.

But NOTHING ELSE from the franchise measures up against live-action, 3D, life-sized IMAX Transformers melting your fucking face off with TOP-OF-THE-LINE CGI, a SEVERELY boundary-pushing PG-13 rating, raunchy-ass humor, TONS of fan-service, INSANE character designs, the BEST voice acting ever, more sexual innuendo and symbolism than you can shake a stick at (so to speak, lol), and HOLYFUCKINGCHRIST absolutely balls-to-the-wall BADASSMOTHERFUCKING ACTION that simply CANNOT be beat.

I'd NEVER shittalk TF:Prime...but I'd take the live action movies over it ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

XD

[Shadaloo]

But NOTHING ELSE from the franchise measures up against live-action, 3D, life-sized IMAX Transformers melting your fucking face off with TOP-OF-THE-LINE CGI, a SEVERELY boundary-pushing PG-13 rating, raunchy-ass humor, TONS of fan-service, INSANE character designs, the BEST voice acting ever, more sexual innuendo and symbolism than you can shake a stick at (so to speak, lol), and HOLYFUCKINGCHRIST absolutely balls-to-the-wall BADASSMOTHERFUCKING ACTION that simply CANNOT be beat.

Sorry dude, but I'll take stories that cover time paradoxes, parallel dimensions, examinations of causality, the treatment - rehabilitative, behavioral, cruel and unusual, or otherwise - of war criminals, PTSD, depression, isolation, examination of gender and relationships in a robotic species, political intrigue and corruption, space horror, unethical experimentation, snarky British sitcom-style humor, Orwellian surveillance and punishment any given day over what you've listed. ;)

[Hazekiah]

Hey, that's cool...Transformers is Transformers, right? Like I said, the comics are great, too. I just prefer the movies, but I'm a massive comic geek, too. It's all good and IDW is DEFINITELY kicking ass!

It's worth mentioning however that the movies themselves are stories which cover causality, war criminals, PTSD, depression, isolation, political intrigue and corruption, space horror, unethical experimentation, snark, and Orwellian surveillance and punishment, though.

And speaking of brits and the ongoing development of my essay about the knighthood theme in the movies...



Annnd they've
OFFICIALLY CAST
AN ACTUAL FUCKING KNIGHT
in TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT.
Welcome, SIR Anthony Hopkins!!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/image_zpsjdnpfp3f.jpeg
O_O

[Hazekiah]

OMG I JUST FELL IN LOVE
WITH A GIRL ON FOX NEWS.
o_O

http://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/arizona-news/156668277-story



I'm in LOVE with that girl in the news report. Kaylee? Hell, I bet she's the one who told them the cop car was Barricade. She is TOO fucking awesome!

She knows her Transformers factions, she's a superfan, we own the same Optimus Prime piñata, and we even posed for pix with the same standee, lol.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/image_zpsv1ymtgyz.jpeg


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lz9-oQPIGo

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v147/Hazekiah/image_zpsnpgoumbf.jpeg

[Shadaloo]

It's worth mentioning however that the movies themselves are stories which cover causality, war criminals, PTSD, depression, isolation, political intrigue and corruption, space horror, unethical experimentation, snark, and Orwellian surveillance and punishment, though.

Quite a few of these scenarios that are actually present in the films are just sort of touched on rather than being central themes, the way I'm talking about in the comics.

I'll absolutely grant unethical experimentation re what was done to Ratchet and Megatron in the last film, but:

-We can't have space horror until we've actually used space as a proper setting and legitimately terrifying and suspenseful shit happens on screen, and these films never spend more than five minutes outside the stratosphere (can't wait for OP to come back from space in TF5 so we can set the whole thing on earth again and and continue to completely ignore the interstellar and space travel aspects of the franchise, by the by); further to this the spookiest thing I've seen in these films was the sight of a flight attendant eating a Hostess ding-dong that rolled on the floor for absolutely no discernible reason.
-When I say Causality, Optimus ruminating on how responsible he is for the war coming to earth is a pretty far cry away from time travel shenanigans, situations like people setting out to stop an event and instead making it happen. Causality just isn't an ongoing theme in these films.
-Political intrigue I'll also grant, the shenanigans with Nixon and the moon landing, but IIRC corruption isn't an aspect of these films at all. Just the usual tinfoil-hat-wearers-are-right-and they're hiding the truth scenarios, people acting shady behind the backs of an unaware populace, etc.
-While I'm here, could you give me your examples of PTSD, depression, or isolation being used as central themes and/or for character exploration because I have seen not one case of any of these in these films, or I don't remember them.
-Orwellian surveillance I could also lightly grant for S7 showing up in the first film, but in general they just make the viewer aware that, yes, men in black are running around and "yeah, we know everything". And that too is a pretty far cry off from actually using unwitting Cybertronian citizens' eyes as cameras to spy on the entire general populace, or replacing their heads with blank screens to deprive them of the ability to speak out against their shadowy overlords.

https://41.media.tumblr.com/193bfca03c6b5754bf50554f6e61b4ff/tumblr_inline_nsj915Sdz51s9mtv7_540.png

(Now that, to me, is horrifying)

[Hazekiah]

Yeah, the cheap-ass comics that come out every month or so with paltry-ass print-runs definitely have more time and storytelling real estate within which to develop plot and character elements as opposed to the movies that cost roughly $200 MILLION DOLLARS each and only have TWO HOURS every few years to get their story across. Don't get me wrong, I love comics (Transformers comics ESPECIALLY!)...but it's STILL a bullshit comparison.

And space has been used frequently in the movies. From the AllSpark intro to the arrival of the protoforms to Soundwave as a satellite to the Nemesis on Saturn to the Cybertronian War intro to the Decepticons on the Moon to the Cybertron-through-a-Space-Bridge scene to the Creators arriving to exterminate dinosaurs and Optimus soaring off to engage them. ALWAYS A FACTOR.

Hell, with the adventures of Optimus in space for the sequel it looks to be even MORE of a plot point than ever before!

And the flight attendant ate the Ding-Dong as a FUCK YOU to President G.W. Bush, fwiw.

As for the issue of causality, Optimus is actively engaged in STOPPING the war brought to Earth by Cybertronians. Kind of a central theme, actually.

And how can you legitimately claim that political "corruption isn't a part of these films at all"...? Cemetery Wind, for starters! Not to mention the moon conspiracy stuff, which I'll grant you in return.

Annnnd onward towards the theme of PTSD. Have you even SEEN Transformers: Age of Extinction? Optimus Prime's character arc REEKS of it.

Orwellian surveillance? The same movie literally has GIANT billboards asking you to report alien activity and a whole scene discussing the pros and cons plus the lethal repercussions.

But ANYWAY. Back to the knighthood theme.

Transformers: The Last Knight just hired Sir Lancelot from "Merlin," lol.

>_>

https://www.instagram.com/p/BHSfP9EAIi_/

[Shadaloo]

Yeah, the cheap-ass comics that come out every month or so with paltry-ass print-runs definitely have more time and storytelling real estate within which to develop plot and character elements as opposed to the movies that cost roughly $200 MILLION DOLLARS each and only have TWO HOURS every few years to get their story across. Don't get me wrong, I love comics (Transformers comics ESPECIALLY!)...but it's STILL a bullshit comparison.

Not in the least. Two hours of movie time has been more than enough to develop characters and tell a spellbinding story across basically the whole of cinematic history from beginning to end. In two hours, Capra's It's A Wonderful Life has George Bailey going from despondent and suicidal to having a renewed lease on life. That's just one example out of millions. I cannot for the life of me think of a single character aside from Sam Witwicky or Optimus who gets any character development whatsoever across four films, and what they get is sparse. I've seen single issues of comics pack enough punch to fill a film. And for what it's worth, Watchmen was adapted into a two-odd hour film, it had to cut a lot of shit out, and it still managed to do justice to most of its cast for all of its failings IMO.

And I have no idea where you're coming from with spiteful remarks about cheap-ass comics with limited print runs. Or why you think the budget of a film has any impact on storytelling quality. A talented enough filmmaker can entertain with a camcorder and little else.


And space has been used frequently in the movies. From the AllSpark intro to the arrival of the protoforms to Soundwave as a satellite to the Nemesis on Saturn to the Cybertronian War intro to the Decepticons on the Moon to the Cybertron-through-a-Space-Bridge scene to the Creators arriving to exterminate dinosaurs and Optimus soaring off to engage them. ALWAYS A FACTOR.

I'm going to take this moment to remind you we're talking about "space horror" = wherein gruesome or terrifying things happen with the setting being outer space. Nowhere did I say "space isn't a location" - it absolutely is for some scenes. What I said was that space horror is not present of any of these films because we DO NOT SPEND LARGE PORTIONS OF THE PLOT OUT THERE WITH SCARY SUSPENSEFUL SHIT HAPPENING, dreading the monster around the corner. See Alien for the classic example. None of that is happening here. Horrors that come from space do not equal space horror.


Hell, with the adventures of Optimus in space for the sequel it looks to be even MORE of a plot point than ever before!

Bet you anything he comes back to Earth in the first half an hour talking about shit he found out there and we spend the next two hours dreading the coming of whatever the fuck. We already know they're filming in Cuba. The day a Bayformer film completely takes leave of Earth for the duration, I'll eat my own goddamn head.


And the flight attendant ate the Ding-Dong as a FUCK YOU to President G.W. Bush, fwiw.

A better fuck you would have been to serve it to him. Her eating it made no fucking sense.


As for the issue of causality, Optimus is actively engaged in STOPPING the war brought to Earth by Cybertronians. Kind of a central theme, actually.

Optimus ruminating once in a while on how responsible he is for bringing the war to Earth and his own guilt are insufficient material for causality to be considered a theme in any of these films. That's tantamount to my arguing that Sam's parents are a theme because they show up a few times per film. In order for something to qualify as a theme, it needs to be a central, driving aspect of the plot. The notion OF causality has to be such an aspect and has to be explored in depth; e.g. Back To The Future. By your standards causality would be a theme of every single film in existence; because 'cause and effect'. Optimus does wonder about his responsibilities, but he's not going back in time or anything to try and fix anything, so no, it's nowhere near enough to qualify as a theme, much less a central one. Sorry.


And how can you legitimately claim that political "corruption isn't a part of these films at all"...?

There's not enough focus on the political side of things to matter. You show me Cemetery Wind and I show you another shadowy black ops group come about as a result of shady dealings - which I'd argue would qualify if we got to see those dealings put in practice in the first place. See...black ops agencies and military squads, the efficiency of the US military against aliens...I could give you those as themes frequently explored in these films.


Annnnd onward towards the theme of PTSD. Have you even SEEN Transformers: Age of Extinction? Optimus Prime's character arc REEKS of it.

Referring you again to my earlier comment about it needing to be a central, driving aspect of the plot. Optimus hiding out at the start of TF4 and feeling backed into a wall would be a good start...but the film doesn't explore it. He's back to his usual self an hour later. He's not having any nervous breakdowns or even beginning to show signs of a fractured psyche. Optimus' typical war-weariness isn't anywhere near the same thing; the character needs to be totally fucked up for it to count, to put it bluntly and indelicately, and it has to actually affect the plot. No, sorry. There's no PTSD in these films, much less as a theme.


Orwellian surveillance? The same movie literally has GIANT billboards asking you to report alien activity and a whole scene discussing the pros and cons plus the lethal repercussions

That's...not the government aggressively and invasively spying on its own people, that's homeland security being given carte blanche to go apeshit.

[Archive_Reports]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AntcyqJ6brc

I like these movies. *shrug*

[Wretchedest]

Not much interested in the movie so much as I am interested in how it will revitalize this thread

[october_midnight]

Damn, was that awful. This (http://www.polygon.com/2016/12/6/13853702/transformers-the-last-knight-trailer) Polygon article destroying it made me chuckle. Pretty much spot on.

[kdrcraig]

Not much interested in the movie so much as I am interested in how it will revitalize this thread

Haz is gone so I wouldn't expect much. Trailer looks bad but I'll probably catch it on $5 Tuesday

[Self.Destructive.Pattern]

Haz is gone so I wouldn't expect much. Trailer looks bad but I'll probably catch it on $5 Tuesday

He get banned??

This movie looks like all the rest... I would really, really like a reboot of this franchise at some point down the road (We all know it will happen) with just Autobots and Decpticons. Get the human mumbo jumbo out of the way, and there can be something really special there. I'll see this eventually because despite of how awful these movies are, they're still entertaining.

[thevoid99]

I ain't watching that trailer. Fuck Michael Bay.

[fillow]

http://www.providermodule.com/forum/showthread.php/8402-Transformers-The-Last-Knight

Reader's discretion is advised.

[thevoid99]

http://www.providermodule.com/forum/showthread.php/8402-Transformers-The-Last-Knight

He has got to be delusional.

[ManBurning]

This movie looks terrible. I learned my lesson. I'm not giving this franchise anymore of my money. That last one was the breaking point for me. I don't care.

[kdrcraig]

He get banned?? .

Yep, after the nightmare that the Manson thread became

[wizfan]

This movie looks terrible. I learned my lesson. I'm not giving this franchise anymore of my money. That last one was the breaking point for me. I don't care.

I applaud you for sitting through Age of Extinction. Dark of the Moon broke me.

[GibbonBlack]

I think the trailer is CLEARLY a masterfull allegory for TRUMP! This will be the movie of the ALL TIME! ​I can't wait to see it a jillion times!!!!!!!

[allegate]

http://www.providermodule.com/forum/showthread.php/8402-Transformers-The-Last-Knight

Reader's discretion is advised.Jesus Fucking Christ.

I'll do the same here I did for the last two: Wait for the library to get it. That way when I fall asleep (like the last one) I'll at least be on my couch already.

[GibbonBlack]

http://www.providermodule.com/forum/showthread.php/8402-Transformers-The-Last-Knight

Reader's discretion is advised.

Oh, I hadn't even seen that when I did my impression. I was pretty spot on!

[Shadaloo]

No, thank you. I will continue reading the excellent comics IDW puts out and being entertained by the cartoons. I like Transformers too much to continue exposing myself to this dreck.

This movie needs to fail, and fail badly. It won't - the Chinese market will probably see to that - but what I wouldn't give for the studios to put the franchise on ice for the better part of a decade and do something closer in nature to - I don't know, almost any other part of Transformers history? (Ed: I basically said this exact same thing on the prior page. It bears repeating.)

If you have seen one of these films, you have seen every single one of these films.

Also not clicking that link. I'm having a good day today, and imagining what lurks behind it will only serve to depress me.

[ManBurning]

I think the trailer is CLEARLY a masterfull allegory for TRUMP! This will be the movie of the ALL TIME! ​I can't wait to see it a jillion times!!!!!!!

Hey, someone needs to keep the spirit of this thread alive. I ain't complaining!

[fillow]

^^
I recommend not checking it out

[ManBurning]

Oh my god, this legitimately looks like the WORST.THING.EVER!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzS5uy5KTKE&amp;t=0s

[thevoid99]

As Hazekiah: OH MY GOD! THIS LOOKS EPIC!!!!!!! THIS WILL BE THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

What a fucking moron.

[october_midnight]

So wait, there's a transformer that actually transforms in to a pile of garbage? lol.

I also love how they don't even try with this one. The fuckin' lame T-Rex one just coughs out a car in the junkyard and then TRANSFORMERS. NOT YET RATED.

What the fuck??? Hahahahahaha...

[Haysey_Draws]

So this is the new poster...are hollywood competing to make the worst poster possible or something?!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBh9BKJUwAAc_jT.jpg (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBh9BKJUwAAc_jT.jpg)

[thevoid99]

https://media.giphy.com/media/EiCQzmzE5HLaw/giphy.gif

[october_midnight]

http://replygif.net/i/1096.gif

[october_midnight]

The shining reviews are starting to roll in! (http://www.torontosun.com/2017/06/20/transformers-the-last-knight-review-michael-bays-final-outing-a-complete-disaster)

[thevoid99]

The shining reviews are starting to roll in! (http://www.torontosun.com/2017/06/20/transformers-the-last-knight-review-michael-bays-final-outing-a-complete-disaster)

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I got a word from Hazekiah.... he calls it the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL-TIME!!!!!

[Haysey_Draws]

The shining reviews are starting to roll in! (http://www.torontosun.com/2017/06/20/transformers-the-last-knight-review-michael-bays-final-outing-a-complete-disaster)

That review is brilliant!

I'll only be seeing it as
1) i have one of those cineworld cards so it's basically free at this point and
2) it's hot as fuck here in London and cinemas have AC. 3 hours of robots beating each other up is a small price to pay for cool air.

[october_midnight]

It is what it is...there are those that take it for what it is, three hours of dumb shit to kill an afternoon...and by all means, there's a reason they make money. And then those that are like OMG OK SO I'M GOING TO WRITE MY THESIS ON THIS MOVIE ABOUT ROBOTS FIGHTING AND THE DEEP UNDERLYING THEMES FOR THE SCENES WHEN MICHAEL BAY HAS THIS ONE ROBOT BREAKDANCING. OK SO, THE ONE ROBOT IS ACTUALLY MACBETH, RIGHT? THE WAY HE SAYS THIS DUMB SHIT IS A SMOKESCREEN. OK, SO WAHLBERG IS HORATIO, STILL WITH ME?....idiots can do that for any piece of shit movie. I'm sure there's a forum somewhere with someone that went on for nine pages about how deep the Fast and The Furious series is and that WE JUST DON'T GET IT, MANNNNN...

[fillow]

There's only person on Earth whose Transformers review is relevant. You know who it is.
Seeing as there's still no review posted at Provider Module, I guess he's still in the process of watching it 97 times in a row for maximum effect

[october_midnight]

Cracked me up. (https://consequenceofsound.net/2017/06/film-review-transformers-the-last-knight/)

Not even the film’s three credited screenwriters (along with Winter’s Tale director Akiva Goldsman and his story credit) can bring life to a movie in which sentient robots ride robot dinosaurs into an apocalyptic battle while a planet crashes into Earth, which should tell you just about everything you need to know on the topic of The Last Knight.

[thevoid99]

And I heard it features six credited editors for the film. Seriously? For a bunch of lame action sequences? I can understand Malick needing multiple editors since he shoots a lot of film that is more than enough for 4 features but what Bay does is just ridiculous as he doesn't have a clue in how to edit a film.

[Shadaloo]

Sounds about right (https://www.villagevoice.com/2017/06/20/heres-what-the-new-transformers-movie-is-like/)

[elevenism]

These movies aren't so bad if you watch them with the sound off and just look at the screen occasionally. That's what I used to do with the second one; my ex had it on dvd.

[Space Suicide]

These movies were nothing great but moderately watchable. I own the first few on blu-ray for some dumb nostalgic fun. It's just pretty much meh and on life support after the third one. I don't understand how or why these have reached the fandom they have. They're pretty mediocre.

[elevenism]

These movies were nothing great but moderately watchable. I own the first few on blu-ray for some dumb nostalgic fun. It's just pretty much meh and on life support after the third one. I don't understand how or why these have reached the fandom they have. They're pretty mediocre.
Yeah I mean the cgi is fucking stunning. It's just that the plots, for me, range from inane to utterly incomprehensible. It's kind of sad to me as I can't help but think that with better screenplays and scripts, these movies could have really been something special.

[dolemite]

17% on Rotten Tomatoes so far. wow. Worse than expected.

[thevoid99]

17% on Rotten Tomatoes so far. wow. Worse than expected.

I was hoping for a 0%.

[Haysey_Draws]

I'm still amazed at how bad all the posters for this one have been. Seriously they're all the same character profiles just swapped about and photo-shopped poorly...it's mind boggling how lazy they are :eek:

[Substance242]

50% (google translate (https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=cs&tl=en&js=y&prev=_t&hl=sk&ie=UTF-8&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fffilm.name%2F2017%2F06%2Frecen ze-transformers-posledni-rytir.html&edit-text=&act=url), "I would give substantial money for Anthony Hopkins to tell me honestly what he thought about filming":-)

[Shadaloo]

A friend was having a shitty day so against my better judgement, we went.

This was essentially Attention Deficit Disorder: the experience. It somehow managed to feel like it had no beginning; it all felt like 'middle;. Virtually every conversation was comprised of people fast-talking over each other, yelling, or bad motivational speeches. I don't think a single shot lasted over five seconds.

It may possibly be the single worst one, and that's saying something.

[thevoid99]

I saw a clip of it during Mark Kermode's review on Youtube. Ugh... the editing is horrible. It's like an average of 4 seconds a shot. Six editors for things like this? Is it that necessary to have a shot in the film every 4 seconds when you can use it for 30 or more just to get an understanding of what is going on?

[Haysey_Draws]

OK so i went to see The Last Knight on Saturday and fuck me was it awful! I'm not exaggerating, had it not been for the fact the cinema had air conditioning i would have left halfway through, but lets break things down...

The Pro's - The last 45 minutes were actually alright. The background shots looked really cool, to the point i wish they'd just stopped fighting/talking just to look at it. There was lots of fighting and robots punching each other, it was OK.

The cons - The first 2 hours were some of the worst cinema i've seen this year (i'm up to about 18 films this year to put that in perspective) It felt like it was edited by a YouTuber with ADHD and in a rush, nothing made sense, it was just cut after cut after cut. The story was just fucking stupid (at one point Megatron was negotiating with human lawyers about getting his crew back...no really! Oh and Hitler was killed by a watch transformer...) I struggled to figure out who this film was for, the jokes were defiantly for kids but every character threw more shits then monkeys at the zoo! Was this a kids film? For teenagers? 20 somethings? Fans of the cartoon...which brings me to my next point.
[Spoilers] So the film was billed as having Unicron, the big planet sized transformer from the original cartoon movie, and about an hour in it's revealed he is earth...and that's it. He doesn't DO ANYTHING. Instead the whole film was a 3 tease FOR HIS APPEARANCE IN THE NEXT FUCKING FILM! Oh and all that "Optimus is evil" stuff? Yeah that lasts about 5 minutes [Spoilers End] Just highlight the above if you want to see it :o

All in all a complete waste of my time. I know there must be some people out there that like these movies, but this one was just so bad it's like they don't give a shit about what they put out as they know "fans will go and see it", and that's bollocks!

[thevoid99]

I wonder what Hazekiah really thinks about this film.

[october_midnight]

I wonder what Hazekiah really thinks about this film.

Haven't given it a thought tbh lol. What's it at on RT now? Like 15% or something? Haha it takes a beautiful mind to write essays on a turd.

[Jon]

i wonder what hazekiah really thinks about this film.

masterpiece

WHY CAN'T I ALLCAP THAT?

[Archive_Reports]

I have enjoyed all of the first four Transformers movies, to varying degrees, for what they were. The Last Knight, however, has zero redeeming qualities. The entire thing (nearly three hours?!?!) was incoherent and nonsensical and there was not a single point where I thought, "well at least that was a cool part/sequence". I am legitimately upset with myself for watching this.